CheapShow - Ep 488: Tat Hunt Cambridge (Mono)

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

(Mono Version) Back when CheapShow was only a couple of dozen or so episodes old, the economy comedy podcast was originally recorded in Cambridge, where Paul had his fill of charity shops to explore. However, despite recording there for almost two years, they’d never done a “walkabout” episode. So this week, to make up for lost time, Paul and Eli are heading back to Cambridge for a wander and a “Tat Hunt”. Not only that, but because Ep 500 will be a LIVE EVENT at the Cambridge Junction venue in August, it gives them a chance to track down and snoop about the theatre. The Tat Hunt rules are in place… They both get £10 to spend on whatever they can… Trinkets, Toys, Tracks or Textbooks, and they get to review them in next week’s conclusion. So here we are, Part One of another Tat Hunt adventure that ends up being all “rather pleasant”, which is a delightful change! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-488-tat-hunt-cambridge GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Bing bong, the train to Cambridge is on platform one. Please go there as soon as you can. Hello, I'm Paul Gannon. Oh no, don't make me go to Cambrough, because I don't want to go. I'm Eli Silverman, everyone. I haven't had a coffee yet. This was my fatal mistake. I have no energy and I'm going to be subpar.

All right, Paul? Yeah, cool, no part for the course. We are at Kings Cross Station in London about to board a train to two, Cambridge? Well, strictly speaking, it's going to Ely, but we're going to be going to Cambridge on that route. It goes to Cambridge as well. But why, you ask, little listener, sitting there in your pants,

listening, listening in your pants with your tit out or something, I don't know what you do. They're fully clothed. Not all of them, some might be naked. Someone might be naked, so one might be naked right now, listening in the bath. I'm listening to our sexy voice. I'm just saying. Just saying, there's a possibility. There's a whole world of

adult services and entertainment available. to people, Paul. You don't have to fantasise about people who listen to you. Having a wank to you. You could do that. You could do that as a side hustle if you wanted, couldn't you? I could. I know I could. But that's not what this is about, is it, Paul? I know it's all very funny, laughs and jokes, but then someone might get offended. Yeah, you. Someone might get their tit out.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for joining me back where I started. Right, so we are going to Cambridge today. For two reasons. One, we're going to check out the venue for our 500th live episode. Details in the description for this podcast and on our website, the Cheaputton. And then also, we're going for a walkabout and a tat hunt.

So this is a two-part episode, part one, we're out and about in Cambridge, snuffling and huffling in the shops, and then part two, review, snack and wander. Great. I'm hoping to encounter along the way some brutalist architecture, Paul, because there is some stuff I haven't seen up there that is very famous, you know?

Okay. I mean, it's a university town and obviously the style brutalism associated with municipal buildings. There's a few of that. Particularly uni and hospitals and so forth. And also I have, just to let you know, dirty. Pants. No, our listener will after this. Fucking sex talk.

Shit, that neck is off. No, I've got a dirty cream soda. What's it called? That brand. I can't have fucking... Mountain Jew. Oh, yeah, you did show me. A dirty cream soda mountain dew to be.

sampling and an espresso Coca-Cola. Crazy days. So we'll have it on the train? Yeah, we can. I haven't had time to have a coffee. All right. That's fine. There's lots of great Chinese food, cheap, cheerful Chinese food in Cambridge as well. You know that? You can do that if you want.

Well, we could go to a Chinese supermarket. The world is our oyster. But you're thinking that road near where you used to live with all of the charity shops on. We've got to go there. That's great up there. There's a cemetery up there as well. You know that. And you can take that all the way into town that walk, basically, as well.

So once one way or another, it's going to be a packed, double out and about, walkabout, tat on, investigative, Cambridge-based episode this week. And because we've never even done at Cambridge, but you lived there for several years. We were recording like at the Cambrian explosion period of our podcast, where all there was ideas flying, some didn't work, some body forms never got, you know.

But basically, yeah, we recorded almost, I think around about 100 episodes when I lived in Cambridge. The first hundred. Yeah, at least. Certainly Southampton in Cambridge covers the first, like, 100 or so episodes easily. I don't want to get inside baseball now,

but do you know it hasn't gone up on YouTube the latest episode? Yes, but it's a YouTube fuck up. Right, that's not ours. And I don't have to fix it. Because I was online last night with a chat bot trying to make it understand the fucking problem.

Oh, yeah. It's not it. Can it take care of other problems? I did. Like my dear. Didn't know my podcast, but I did come tons. So there you go.

Okay, mate. Just worry. Inside baseball. Inside baseball. Behind the pit partings. Let's get on with it because our trade is on platform one ready to go. Yeah, we've got 10 minutes. Let's go, let's go.

Let's go. Have you got the ticket? Yeah. I've sent you on yours and your phone, so go on, get it out. Did you? As an email? Yeah. Just got to forward it and open it.

Yeah, just do it. Right, we're off. One, two, one, two. Off to Cambridge. We go. Roll the credits. Bing Bong. Paul and Eli and how one.

on the train going to Cambridge, direct, which is nice, nice simple journey. It's speeding through North London as we speak, and Eli's a supping upon his coffee. There's a-a-a-haunsy station there. Horny station. Horny station. Horny station.

I'm extremely hauntsy. Oh my God, would you ever, you literally took about three words. I'm gonna come in my pants right now, how about that? No, we are hurtling through North London. It's lovely. Good, well done, getting the fast train as well, Paul.

It's still gonna take an hour, So the one that stops everywhere must take forever. This is the 1024 from Platform 1 of Kings Cross. It's Ely. Yes? Named after that Mr. Mr. song. What's it? Ely.

Yes. No, what's it called? Ely. Yes? Oh, hey, hey, oh. Hey, yeah, nice. Hey, oh. No, I'm happy with that.

Hey, hey, hey. Right. So the plan of action, Mr. Silverman is, We get to Cambridge. We go to the venue. We look around the venue. We speak to the people there. We walk up the street past where I used to live in Cambridge,

onto the main road. We walk along the main road, picking up the charity shops along the way. And then that's it. Now, what are the rules for Tat Hunt this week? What do you want to do? Are you going to give us a budget? That always is good. What was the budget for the last one?

Ten. Let's do ten again, then. Ten again. It's good. It keeps them. You focused because a lot of stuff is... It's meant to be cheap show, so I'm not going to give you a 50-quit, am I? Is there going to be like one food item, one toy, one?

Do you want to go? No food. No food. I'm not in the move for food today. What's the matter? It's not just on the move for a food hunt. Have you had a stomach, stomach problem? I just don't want this talent to incorporate food. I think that's fair. No, but it's a bad one.

Right, so I think we should do Trinket, which could be anything from a little porcelainter. A rustling statue to a keychain to a pencil case, you know what I mean? Like a trinkety kind of thing. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Record.

Oh, now you're... Seven inch, 12 inch, but a record. All right. All right. Toy. Okay. Toy, trinket, track. Toy, tinket track?

Yeah. What else could be by? Could it be a cassette then? It's the format. Hey, look. It doesn't have to be a record. No? It could be another music format, yeah.

CD, minidisc, eight track, wax a cylinder. You're not going to find minidiscs. You hardly ever find those. Sometimes you do. I did, but they were all blank. Before I say blank, they were blank ones that someone had filled out with the best hits of 1996 through 2001. Right.

I mean, but that's the majority of the mini discs that were manufactured were those blanks, weren't they? And that was part of the issue, wasn't it? It never took off as a released format. They tried to release a bunch of albums on it. And while they were fine sales-wise, they could only sell as many minidiscs as they had in circulation, and they never,

most people who owned the minidisc didn't buy it to have albums. Why do you think it never caught on as a way of playing music? You know what? It's an interesting question. I don't really know. People surmised that it just became an industry system rather than a commercial one. So if you had a minidist, you probably worked in the media in some respect.

Or in music, yeah. You'd record your demos on it and stuff like that, yeah. So, you know, it was a nice fast... Well, what's this? Gasometer. That is a lovely example of an old gasometer. It is a nice gasometer, yeah. Sorry.

No, it's well pointed out. I don't know where we are now, but we're right out the back of London now. So, yeah, Trinket, track, toy. What else do we usually pick up in this bloody show? For half-wits. Now they're half-wits. Naked half-wits.

Back into a tunnel. I'm trying to think of something else because of the alliteration that starts with tea as well. Don't worry about the alliteration. I've thrown you off with that. Yes, you have. What else do we? Toys. Drink it. Hadley Wood? We just passed there. Yeah, we've been there. Yeah, we have. Had we? I think so, I don't know, maybe. I think we did go, that's up.

We did that episode where we, famously where the firemen were spraying something weird all around the heath. That was up around there, I believe. Yeah. So anyway, we may have been walking on these very fields And did these feet In ancient time Walk up on England's mountain side Oh yeah, book

We could do book That's another category Text Text Ah I want to high-five here There we go So Trinket track text toy

Came bro Cainbro Trinket Trinket Track Trix Troi Trinket Trach's Troi Sex toy I'm down Matthew Kelly's ex-toe I don't know why I wanted to say that

but I did Right He's still walking about He's still kicking a ball Yeah I'll let you tell you what You enjoy your coffee I'll enjoy mine

I will come back to y'all In a little bit Because I think Eli wants to share a drink Do you want to do that later Or do you want to do that On this Let's do a bit further into the journey All right

Okay all right well Heads down Let's keep quiet And enjoy the view As we rock at Potter's Bar We've definitely been here. This is where we've got the 313 for night busing episode. It is. Just there.

Which is a Patreon exclusive, which you can get to if you're a Patreon subscriber, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Ding, ding, ding, money, money. It was a palindromic bus name and indeed a slightly palindromic journey because we ended up going back up the other way. Yeah, because it was short and sweet. Right, I'm going to take it in the view, and we'll come back to you in a short while, which for us will be much longer because we're living this in real, time but for you you're getting an abridged edited audio edition of our journey i hope that makes

absolute clear sense thank you oh where does this train where's the final destination ely yes right then um this trip 1024 to 1113 so yeah almost like less than 45 minutes crazy right so before we get to our destination we're just passing what's this station we're just passing right now roiston not vazy from you Liga Jopman, but Royston. So, Eli, tell us about this dirty mountain dew. Now, do you remember the

shop on Finchley Road where we first discovered the orange cream? It's as you walk down from Finchley Road and Frog normal. I know. I know. I don't care and the listeners won't know anyway, so anyway, that shop. That shop.

I just stuck my head in. All the orange Orange cream is gone. All the orange cream in London is gone. I've got one too. But I might need to give that to a event. How dare they? How dare they introduce this stuff?

And then Coca-Cola, I called you out about it. I'm going to have to call you out again. You remind you if my mum introduced a little game. We used to play cool Fizzy Stick. But then I got too old to play that game, apparently. So anyway, we're moving on. Is that real? What?

Fizzy stick? Huh? Is that real? Fizzy stick? I mean, we're not getting into that. right now, just get into the drink. Now, this is a Mountain Dew. Are they made by Coca-Cola?

Yeah, it's one of the big... Pessy? To fun of the sake. The problem is, is that we've mentioned Mountain Dew a number of times, and you think we remember shit like this? It's one of the big two, isn't it?

It doesn't matter, just get on with it. Mountain Dew might be a Mountain Dew drink. Might be owned by them. No, it's not. It's one of the big two. Anyway, Paul, have you noticed there's a trend in food? Yeah. to call things dirty, dirty fries, dirty pulled pork, dirty man cheese.

Dirty knickers. Cheaky. Oh no, that's cheeky. Cheeky and dirty sometimes interchangeable. I'm having a cheeky on those or I'm having a cheeky. Yes, it's used in the same way. But what does it mean when they say... PepsiCo.

Thank you. Yeah, I thought so. Thank you. Yes, Mountain Dew from PepsiCo. It's basically like the hard... Mountain Dew is like the hardcore soda lovers. My mum loves it. And also I saw a video...

I'm playing fizzy stick. I saw a video the other day and the guy was like, there's certain American English words that are just better than what we use in English English. Soda is one of them. We call them fizzy drinks or... I called it Softies the other day. Softies and... I never thought that in my life.

I was in Brighton with my mate and I called it Softies on the way down. And he said, what on earth are you talking about? No one calls it Softies. at Softies and then we went to this place. We were watching a gig of one of his mates. And the menu, he had listed under the Softies, the Soft Tricks. Weird. And he went and he talked to the staff. He was so bemused. So angry.

Yeah, he went to the staff in the shop and went like Softys. Do you call it that? He's like, no, that's really weird. I'm on it, man. He needs to get out more. Your mate, I say that for him. If Softies shook his world. Right. Are we pulling in, like, literally now? We've got another like 12 minutes, 12 minutes, so let's get this going. So what does it mean, though, when they say, oh, we've got dirty fries? To me, when you say something's dirty, it's like it's a deviation from the original recipe of something or the original understanding.

It's like, if you had, like, I don't know, like a dirty Coca-Cola, maybe it's Coca-Cola with rum in. You know what I mean? It's like some kind of deviation. I want more, thank you for attempting that, but I want more specific explanation. I'm going to ask AI. Why you're doing that, I'm going to tell even what it is. you're actually talking about. So Eli has a tin of specifically dirty mountain dew, which again suggests to me it's mountain dew

with a perversion added to it. And it's cream soda dew with a little asterisk. And I can't see where that asterix may lead me elsewhere. But calories 160, it's going to be an interesting mix of the profile of mountain dew and cream soda. This should be interesting. Because for me, like isn't mountain dew meant to be like a fruity, flavour like an orange juicy type thing

yes the basic is it's a fruity it's a sort of all fruit or juicy fruity kind of bubble gum some people say and citrusy yeah you like you're a fan of the original Mountain G flavour aren't you I liked that bargear punch or whatever it was which

which is just gorgeous no what was that one I had recently that I had sherry it was cherry yeah that was live wire or something yeah I don't know what it was but it was good I could have drunk that forever right it. When dirty is added to chips, fries or crisps, it means they're loaded or smothered with decadent, indulgent, savoury toppings. That's what it means. You put a load of stuff on, basically.

Cheese, meats. How are these, though? What makes this dirty is what I'm trying to do. Let's taste it and find out because maybe the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. So... Do you like cream soda? I do like cream soda. Not all the time. It's a particular kind of a... Flavor profile, old Shepreth, which sounds like something a Lovecraft would have written about. You know what? I've just had a whiff. Of the drink? Yeah, it is almost like cream soda meets a fruit.

Can I have a sniff? Yeah. I'm going in for a sniff. It smells like melted ice cream. Yes. Yeah? A little bit, yeah. Right, he's pouring it.

It's a pale yellow colour. Right, here we go. Chin chint, very ice creamy. Very ice creamy. like vanilla melted vanilla ice cream kind of thing I don't mind that I'm not a fan There's something

Go have another little sip You see here's the thing It's fine But it's not refreshing It's not like nice It's like Yackold Oh yeah it has got a bit of Yacol to it

It's like Yacol Man Fizzy Yacold Yeah I had a case of Fizzy Yacol The other day from me off No that does weirdly I just

I like that You know what it is It's like an acidic tartness, like you get in Coke or like a fanta, which is at the front, which is fighting against the very strong vanilla cream sort of end. You do get a front fruit flavor, which quickly dissipates into that kind of melted vanilla ice cream.

It's fine. The thing is to me, it's like over time, and if it gets flat and warm, that's a sickly horrible accident. Yes, yeah. Yeah, okay. No, I didn't love it. I just, I don't mind.

I think it's quite pleasant. I do. Okay. Okay. Wasn't as good as that cherry one? No. I'm going to give it two and a half fizzy bubbles out of five. Why is it dirty?

Maybe it's dirty. Maybe what they're referring to is the addition of vanilla ice cream. Is that what they're referring to? Yeah, that must be it. Because it is just Mountain Dew with vanilla on the end. Yeah, I like. Actually, I'm getting into. Fine.

I'm having a bit of a sugar buzz off it. Well, look, you can finish that off because we'll be pulling in in about five minutes or so. So let's get our gubbins together. We've had our lovely train treat. Now, the weather is a little bit grey and a little bit spitty, spitty, but that won't stop us today.

It's not super cold, though. I've got my jacket and stuff, so there you go. Cool. Well, then let's get ready to depart this train. It's very quick journey, very quick journey. It's good, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Expensive tickets? I think it was like 60 quid for the both of us, 30 both. way I guess so yeah and I didn't get the two person rail card because it was ball like and you send me like a photograph of yourself and your details yeah so it's a whole thing I mean we can still do if you want but I still need like you save money on the first even on the first but that means you've got to send me like a picture of yourself you know one of those passport things well if you can do that I'll get it

done as soon as you can send me it all right now I have to weigh the pros and cons of my guts right now here we go that's why he did want to do food everyone. I knew. There's a problem. I knew it. I had too much popcorn last night. I thought because we were, you know, meeting in Kings Cross before we left, that you'd be in Mackey Dees getting the breakfast. I guess you went some Maccdees before you turned up and had breakfast. No, I knew it. Now. And I had a bacon butty before cost on the journey. Oh my God. You've loaded up with greasy slot meat. And it's bubbling about. Paul, did you go for the Frank's Red Hot or ketchup?

I didn't. It's too early in the day for me for that. Sorry. I'm just wondering. Either way, all I know is that I'm sitting on a gold mine of flatulence. The best one we're going to find is probably going to be in the station itself, so why don't you just go when we arrive? You want to have something to moan about? I'm going to build it all up over the course of the day,

and then go to your house and drop it all off. No, I don't care. You're welcome to use my toilet. You're a grown man. You know how to wipe your body. Do I? Flush twice. You presume too much.

No, you know. After I do drop-ins, I just stand straight up and mince on out that toilet. There was something I saw online with some guy like a manosphere thing where he's like... It's like, it's gay to wipe your ass. Can you imagine the idiocy of the thing?

Because nothing says masculinity, like stinking of... Stinking of pipe arse. Carrying shit around your knickers. Jeez. Gross. Well, we've all earned something here, so... Oh, I tell you what.

Oh, that mountain cheese giving me a real lift. Good. Sugar, caffeine. Well, I'm glad because, you know. I don't think that's that bad. No, it's that, I keep saying it's not bad. It's just, I don't know, not for me. One more sip?

No, no, okay. I'm all right, I'm done. Right, we're coming in, so let's do the rest of this journey. Right, here we are, Cambridge. Hey, baby. So, oh look, there's a map. Right, you are here. We need to go to somewhere down there.

I just want to say, nice one map, and a very good clear you are here. Yeah. I hate a hard to find you are here, don't you? Especially one with just a little dirt circle with no text around it, so it could mean anything. I just have to assume that's where I am. Yeah. Anyway, so I think Cambridge Junction is we're going to have to go down this road to here somewhere.

Oh, do you want me to check? What's the place called? It's called Cambridge Junction. But it's not too far a walk. I just, yeah, all good. It's like somewhere around it, yeah. Let's just check on the... Somewhere down there.

Anyway, here. we are and I haven't been back here in actually like eight years. Christ, actually Jesus wept. Eight years? Because I've been living in Harrow for what? Eight years now? No, hang on.

2018 I left. 1920. I had six. Oh, it's seven years then? It's been seven years since I've been here. Doesn't time fly when you're making a stupid fucking podcast? Right. How's it looking on the maps?

is right in Cambridge. So all that time I was just filling with a conversation Eli wrote the word Cambridge, just so everyone knows what happened in that 60 seconds. Because I am a stupid. I don't think city map is going to work up here.

Why? Because it's not London, isn't it? Oh no, no, I won't work. Just type in... Just use Google, Google, Google, Google. Oh, I'll just do it this way. Matt. You do it then.

Right. I'll do it. And record the... podcast apparently Cambridge oh you fucker Cambridge Cambridge Junction right here we are nine minute walk okay so we go that way and then it's just there see I wouldn't mind using the Lou in the station oh let's do that then let's let's do that don't forget to get your phone out make because you need to beat beat the thing on the way out so here we

Do you remember coming on this train all the way up to record Cheap Show back in the day in our early days? I certainly do, Paul. I used to enjoy it? Yeah, I did. It was lovely, yeah. But the landlord was a complete and utter fucking cunt. Didn't you share it with a woman? I did, but that's the house after.

Is that the person? No, no, no. The house before that that I had with my other partner, that was further out by Cambridge North Station. Right. that was the one that whose landlord was tantamount psychopathically fucking evil. True. But he was a guy who, it's a long story, but back then we're having trouble paying our electricity bill. So electricity people said, how do you put it a little meter in?

And then you can pay what you're only using and not paying a flat. So we did that, right? Anyway, when the landlord found out, he was literally screaming down the phone. Because here's what I'm thinking, there was something well fucking dodge about where he was doing his bills. So I think when we did this, it was kind of high. highlighting something illegally he was doing. And then a couple of, a month later, he wanted us out. Of course.

So, Dodge. If you're listening to us, by the way, that man, who I won't name, because A, I've forgotten. And B, fuck you. But also, you're a cunt and I hope your whole life has been spoiled by your actions. Thank you. Right. What am I doing? I'm getting a ticket out.

I'm getting a ticket out. Show me your ticket. There's an M&S food there. Do you want to grab a posh sandwich? Hey? Ooh. Oh, there's a Gregs there. And there's a Greggs and a Nero, mate, and a wasabi.

There's lots of options here to make for you. Oh. There's even a Sainsbury's local and a Pret. You know what they had in M&S the other day? You know they have those little pots. They're not a sandwich, they're just like a pot, like hummus or cheese dip, or they have all different variations on those little pot, snack pots. They had a fucking New York pastrami one,

which was all a bunch of little gherkins. Then soft cheese filled with pastrami. I'm going to have a look for that. You have a look for that. You're into that? Yeah, let's just get out of here because otherwise you just talk about food next to a picture of Danny Dyer's face, which I'm not doing. Oh, hang on.

A VNT. Remember your VN? Oh, he's done it. Good for it. I'll go through this one. There we go. Boom, we're out. Eli's gone straight into M&S food, so I'm going to leave him.

I'm going to go out. Oh, he's just, fuck it. So here we are. Here we are. It's nice to be bad. I mean to be honest, I did love working and living in Cambridge. It was a nice little place to live. It was just unfortunate that I moved my whole life from Southampton to Cambridge for a radio job,

only to have that radio job be sold off to a guy who replaced it with a basic jukebox machine. So that was a lot of time and emotional investment wasted. What else? Oh, I should just turn this off because without Eli, I'm nothing. But anyway, it's nice to be back in Cambridge. I'm going to wait for him to come back. And I think, I think I have a poo brewing. But it's one of those moments where I just don't know whether to, you know, throw my cards in and go for a poopie or whether I should bite down on it and see if I can wait until I get home,

which is a good, I don't know, like nine hours from now. Anyway, these are just the things I'm thinking about that you don't really need to know. ruins the mystique of who I am somewhat, don't you think? But here we are in Cambridge, and we're going to go down and check out the venue. So, good. Oh, here he is. Here he is.

I've just been telling everyone about my bowels and my bowel plans. What are the plans for your boughs? You can find a nice place to go poo soon, or bite down on it for nine hours. I don't think you should bite down it for nine hours. It will ruin your mood, and it's just not... You'll just feel better if you go shit somewhere,

even if it's, you know, a little bit grubby in there. What's the worst that can happen? Well... You check before that there's toilet paper. You never... If I want to be a real man, I don't need to wipe, do I? No, let's not get... Let's, please...

Shitty-ass bomb, I'm a man today. Anyway, do you want to... Did you not go in M&S? You're not like it? They didn't have the New York dip thing with the gherkins that you dip in cheese, fucking up. But they did have pretzels that you dip in like a salmon moose.

And they had a chicken Caesar where they little bread rondels. Rubbish. Yeah, none of them appeals to. M&S is shit. I'm sorry. M&S is shit. It's just, it's just well, like, marketed slop. Yeah.

That ain't any different from the usual garbage. I, to some extent I agree, but certain products, like those dippy, dippy cornucons with, come on, mate. That's the exception that proves the rule, though, isn't it? You know what I mean? So you want to go Greg's? Yeah. Yeah, all right. He's going to go Greg's.

Right, and we'll catch you on the other side of that. Honestly, I think you should take a... No, I won't now. Oh, come on. No. Take a shit on. Oh, God. Why is this podcast?

I think that far had a big long tongue to it. You know what? This podcast has got worse. I know. People will say that online. Are they? And I agree. I agree, but it's my podcast.

And if I want it inshitification myself, I will. Nice. I will. Talking of inshittification. Maybe I'll go... You want to be deshittificating. Yeah. And loadification.

I deshittified myself the other day. Right, I'm going in Greg. And we'll see you on the other side of it. It's been a short walk, but we're here at the venue, the Cambridge Junction venue number two. And look, June, July, August, to the post-drop side, 2026, comedy, all the way down to the bottom, underneath Fiona Allen and the lost voice guy. There's Cheap Show, podcast. live. Hey, look at that. Nice. I was a little bit upset maybe that we

wouldn't be on these posters, but look, we're on it. That's exciting, isn't it? Yeah, there we are. Yay. So, we're outside the junction at junction number two. Number one's at the far end, by the way. It's part of the same building. Oh, right.

But a short walk, there's travel lodge right there. So if you're coming to see us and you want to stay the night before or after the show, travel lodge right there. I mean, it's a travel lodge. It looks like a jail. And you know, if you want to, you know, slip your hotel room number to us during the live show. We can come and service you afterwards. Stop coming onto them.

What? Stop it. Why, who though? You're in a relationship? Yeah, with myself. Listen. Like, there's real life, and then there's Cheap Show Paul. And Cheap Show Paul, single, horny and very to bang.

Do you think that travel lodge looks a bit like a jail prop from a Blake 7 or something like that? Yeah, why not? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. To be fair, it looks more like a block of flats. Yeah. Yeah.

One of those early 2000s blocks of flats. That's really aged terribly. I can't believe my fucking phone is broken. It's not broken. You've just got to scratch lens for your phone. How much do you think that would be? 300 quits. Well, no.

Did you say you put a protector over it? Not the lens. I've got a protector over this bit, do you see? Yeah, then you might need to, yeah, that might be a problem then. But I don't know how much it costs. Look into it. Find out if your shop does it. Like who you're with?

A few hundred pounds. Oh, I don't know about that. No? Look into it. find out but I don't think so anyway that's what he's worried about so there's a pure gym five guys ten pin bowling eye max is lots to do in this area it's a short did you say gin there's a poor pure gin Jim pure Jim it Jim as in gin as in gin and tonic I could murder one now let's get on it

let's get on it I'm depressed fucking world all right well let's Eli in cheap showland there is no such thing as fascism there's just authoritarian authoritarianism authoritarism authoritative what's it called authoritarianism. Authoritarianism. That's all there is and I'm in charge of it. You're in charge of the authoritarianism.

Yeah, that's where I have. In Cheapshowland, I am anyway. You're a meta autocrat. Yeah. Meta? Yeah. Meta? Woof, woof, it is Dad joke week this week on Cheapshire, everyone.

So we're going to go in there? Yeah, we're going to go in a minute. I just thought we do a little... Yeah, I said just after. So there's no rush. I don't want to be too eager be either. But it's nice to see we're on the poster. That's fun.

Cheap Shep Shoe podcast. There's a breeze. I'm feeling all right. Apart from the thing about my phone, which makes me want to kill myself. Mate, it's one tiny scratch that you can probably fix for under 50 quid, if you're lucky. All they're doing is replacing the glass, not the whole camera and the phone. You really, really need to stop being so dramatic. I know.

You're having a fag everyone with his little pork pie hat on. No, I'm paying a picture. No, I'm just painting a picture. And that you look like a spiv. You know, that film we discussed, Strong Room. Great little B-movie from the 50s, by the way. British B-movie. It's on YouTube.

It's worth it. Really good. They refer to cigarettes as fags in that. So it goes back so far. The dialogue in that is really cool because it's sort of like a window into the period. And it's really good. No, it's one of those few films that it's obviously dated

but still feels very contemporary in terms of how it's made and things. It's a good film. Yeah. Right, so now that Eli the Spiv is finished selling nylon spilling, busy selling nylon to bananas to the lady folk. today, don't I?

I mean, look, can I just maybe suggest every day? Every day? Do you have a spiv vibe? Just saying. All right, that's good. Right, okay, right, we're going to pop in. Arthur Daly was a spiff, wasn't it?

He was, yeah. I love him. He's one of my favourite fictional characters of all time. And that guy from Dad's Army as well, remember that guy, who was a spiff. I never did, yes. It's an art type.

Yeah, because it was obviously during the Second World War. These people were out to make a fast book with illegal goods. You know, watches, Nylons, bananas, all kinds of extraordinarily rare things at the time. I mean, you could also call Dale Boy a bit of a spiv. Yeah, he's a spiv as well.

I'm sure there's various variations on the idea of a spiv. I just think Minder was the client is. I mean, I would say the ultimate spiv is the Dad's Army guy because that's like the textbook idea. Yes, and it's more specifically to do with the war. Yeah, so yes, yeah. Anyway, I'm tired of saying the word spiv. Spiv-Spiv.

Spiv. Oh, the spoken word. Cambridge Junction is also doing the history of folk horror, which is interesting, I think. Oh, that's interesting. Does it any hope folk horrors set in Cambridge? I mean, I don't know, but, you know, maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. I mean, if you do know, well done you. But as it stands, oh, look, drunk women solving crime's going to be here as well. Oh, they didn't win anything this year either at that awards. Well, we're all the same bill as them here. Yeah, and we're better conceptually. And so there's loads of stuff going on here,

so yeah, we're proud to be here in August on the 23rd. Let's stop killing time, and let's go in, because we have a tat hunt to do still today. A tat hunt, Mr. Silverman. Indeed, we do. So we're going to kind of move on. Right. Let's have a look at it.

Update. Paul has done droppings. Paul's feeling lighter on his feet and happier. Can you say thanks, see. Eli, I reckied the toilet for you. Eli did give me a recie on the toilet. It was my suggestion that you go here as well. It was a good suggestion.

We've just seen the venue, guys, from the nice show. And? I was really impressed. I love it. Nice, like proper classic modern theatre space. Yeah. Good. I can't wait.

So, again, details on our website, the cheapser.com. If you would like to get tickets, which we recommend you do, because actually they're selling pretty bloody quickly, surprisingly. So get them while you can. Hot cakes.

You ever look into what hot cakes were? Yeah. They were literally like hot cakes that they did in the pan, weren't they? That sold really well. Hence the expression, sold like hot cakes. So now the planet is, Mr. Silverman, we've been to the Cambridge Junction

where Art meets life, and we are going to now walk down past where I used to live way back when and start our tatund a proper. Yeah, that man was just staring at me weirdly as if to say, do you want me to say something? And I was like, I was sort of walk away from them. People see that muff, the Flurry Softie, what's it called? It's just a wind muff, in it?

A wind muff. They see the wind muff and it gets, especially people over a certain age, it feels it gives them an entitlement to sort of be interested in what we're doing. All we're doing is having a conversation in public with this object in between us, but somehow it gives them, you know what I mean? It overrides our privacy, our sort of normal level of privacy. It's a curio, though, in it? Think about it.

It's a curio. I mean, I'm not having... He's still staring. He just had another look. Fuck him. Let's follow him home. Let's fucking mug him. Let's take his couch keys and force him to go home and then we'll take him home.

Honestly, Paul, that was... You're happy and I'm happy with... Did Paul make the right choice? And he seemed very nice. Yeah. The man who dealt with us, the manager. Rob, we can call him Rob. Thank you, Rob for looking after us.

And we discussed other aspects. Yeah. And you're feeling better about that. Yeah. As I say, disabled access is good. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it's good to know that at the very least we're doing well and the venue is looking forward to us being there because, you know, sometimes you're

put on a show and they don't give two shit, do they? Yeah, we're on the poster and everything. Yeah, great, great. So we're happy, Eli's happy. It's tat hunt time. It is tat hunt time. So just to go over the rules again, 10 pound. We're going to go to a cash point and get that out?

Yeah. Okay. 10 pound to get. And there's four things, but I reckon you can get any three of the four. Right? So we can get text, a book, something of the written form. Okay, but can we get all four if we feel like it? If you can get it under a tenor, yeah.

Yeah, right, I see. That's the rule. Okay. That's why I'm saying three of the four is acceptable. All right, good. Good rule. Thank you. So text, a book of some kind.

And we're just looking for something of interest for the second part of this two-parter. Well, the second part is going to be us looking at the stuff and then walking around and exploring and just having a nice old time. And then we go home. No. The first part is the task hunt. I don't know. Stop looking at. Yes. You are in control.

Also, you will... The thing I try and get you to do is stop thinking too much about what we're doing and just do it. So what we're going to do now, Eli, is part one of this episode is now do the TAT hunt thing. Because as much as I would love to just toss this off and say, that's part one, all we've done is get out of train and go seven minutes up the road to this venue. A dirty mountain, Jew. Yeah, all right, but... I liked it.

Not complete content. 3.5 out of five for me on that. Right, we're outside the Cambridge Junction, and we're going to head back the way we came effectively. So first of all, let's go for it again. Ten pound, four topics, three available if you can make it under a tenor. Text, a book, fine, anything like that. Next, a track. Could be a cassette, CD, vinyl, album, single, whatever you fancy, toy. Just a little toy of some kind. And then finally trink it. Oh, that could be anything. Something on a mantelpiece, something, a keychain, something, you know, a decorative. Are we competing for best thing in each

category yeah and are we competing for best overall thing as decided by us yeah yeah yeah yeah and maybe who spent the least on the most or something you know what i mean like value for money yeah right so we're back up the stairs we go and honestly we go back to the station then we carry on walking up the road because that effectively takes us back to where i used to live and then that's where the charity shops kind of start on that route especially that one i like most the little kind of bumbley bum bum one you know what i mean the rough and tumble one You know the one that looked like a dead man's flat? Yes.

It's what we've discussed before on this part, Paul. A high funk. High funk. Just like, raise my voice foundation around the corner for me. Yeah, high funk. But also, some of the best stuff I've ever got in a charity shop has been in those kind of places. Yes.

Like that fucking diehard board game, which goes about 30, 40 quid online, I got for like, what, three quid? In that place around the corner for me? Yeah. Great. They don't know what they have. At one point, someone was like getting rid of all their board games and giving it to that shop.

And I got a load of great ones. Like I got rear window based in the Hitchcock movie. You got that there as well. Again, a ball gang at Ghostfight 40 quid online. I got for less than a fiver. Excellent. I think it's because they don't have anyone who properly prices stuff.

Or bothers to price anything full stop. Yeah. Which sometimes works in your favourite, sometimes bite you in the ass. Because, yeah, you're expecting them to say, oh, a quid, and they'll say seven. Just because of a win, essentially. Now, I'm going to give you two options.

here mate we can go the route I was going to suggest which is back the way we came up the road onto the high street or we can go straight ahead and walk the long way around into the city centre and then work back what long way round you want to go the long way round yeah the only I'm saying the other way is because I don't know what time these shops closed I want to get to the kind of fuddy duddy ones earlier and they're the ones up the high street yeah but we're going to have more options we get closer to town long are we going to go we're here till eight It's midday now. We're not going to close till five, are they?

I'm just saying it'd be nice to get the ones that are far out out the way. So we're in the city centre. In other words, you want to do what you said, the first option? Yeah. Let's do that then. And I gave you the false option of choice to make you feel a bit more involved in the creative process, isn't it? You really are a little dictator, aren't you?

You're a little autocrat. A little but, Paul Gannon, autocrat. Do as he says, or you'll be dead man. Do as he says, dead man, dead man, do as he says dead man. See, there's no artefacts in the camera there, but look. If you zoom in, yeah, it's going to show you more the crack on that lens. That's probably what it is. No, but it's not there.

I don't know. That's fine, I don't think the crack on the lens has fucked it. I'm not going to bother. Well, okay. I feel better. I feel down. I feel up. I don't.

I feel tired. I feel sweaty. I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel happy. I am glad. I am I in love. Ah, I must be in love.

Who's that? Do you know what that was? To the Rottles. He didn't even know that. Right, so we're going to go back the way we came. Right, okay, bye everyone. Bye everyone. We're getting on a walk on.

Where are you going? Why did you go that way? I just was looking at a socialism poster. All right, good. Okay, the walk begins. Best five. We've walked away from the station now. We're passing the Cambridge Islamic Centre.

and the Devonshire Arms but i believe we're getting to the street now where i'm hoping a few of those charity shops that were here eight years ago still exist i'm sure some do and we last time i was here was here with rogan and we went to a a chinese dumpling restaurant that was up here yeah and it had its own 300 year old recipe chili oil and i'm hoping it's still here because i might pick one pick a jar up oh can you buy it yeah yeah they do their own and the dumplings was like these crazy good portions like I got like vegetable dumplings

literally like a heap of the fuckers pile of dumplings lovely it's nice so yeah this is where I used to almost live just a street over I think I can't remember now Kingston Street Devonshire Road

I think this is like I don't know actually Station road maybe I don't know Mill Road no that's Mill Road Oh doesn't matter either way it don't matter Yeah I think we've got to go over the bridge though anyway.

Thank you. Confirmed by a local Mill Road. Mill Road. So I think we go over the bridge for our first charity shop here. What are you looking at? You think that's a real picture of a smash burger? Or AI.

It's hard to tell with the food, isn't it? I mean, I think that looks real to me. It looks like a stock photograph of a burger. It's stock photograph. Are you chicken cheese loaded? Crispy chicken cheese loaded. Algerian flame box? I had a case of that the other day.

It's good gag that. Love that old sign on that Kingston House there, Established 1903. So when people look at our website, they can see what you're talking about. There's some lovely old buildings around here. That hall there is great as well, isn't it? That looks like it at some point must have been part. You know what? I don't know.

I'm not going to guess. But either way, yeah, it's right by the Cambridge Math School. It looks like a school hall or a church hall or something, yeah. Or even like, I don't know, like a little factory or post office centre kind of thing. That's that vibe. Could be. Could be. I'd say hall, though.

very kind of ornate brickwork up Victorian. Yeah. You can see photos that we take. Yes, on our website, the cheapsedoccur. At UK. Yeah, do it. So I'm just going to have a little look at this. We're going to go, well, what two of them are over the bridge? Again, presuming they're still there.

I keep forgetting that eight years flies by, so I'm presuming a lot right now. Oh, I've got wind. Like... Take care of... took care of the downstairs blockage. I have at least evacuated. my bowels which means you know that kind of unsettling urgency feeling has gone there's a library oh yeah yes p r e l library oh free library you know when it comes to like data centers and people that that's your real data center isn't it look at how beautiful look at the empty space look at the

space inside that hall paul look i'm on the street though it's kind of weird you keep stopping and i can't get the mic on you yeah isn't that cool i like those weird tile and circles on the building as well. Those are like prefabricated, Victorian area prefabricated. Do you remember that place in Norwich we went to? Yes. And it was that manufacturer

used all those prefabricated tiles and the garden space. Yes. And you see all of those bits were like, that's why these buildings are more modern than you realise because they're actually pre-fabricated which is what they still do to this day.

I mean, modern in the sense of compared to everything else. In terms of the building techniques, though, I'm talking about. It's a new build. but with old affectations added to them to give them age. Oh, there's a comedy improv course, if anyone's interested, six weeks for beginners. Oh, it's not about performing, though. It's just about getting confident and having fun.

Which is understandable, because honestly, I think it helped me. People would disagree, but it helped me. There's your revision party. That was last week, so he gives a fuck. Gothic Cottage, the Durdens. Why have I never noticed this before? It's funny. I lived in Cambridge.

for close to two years. And I'm still looking at that building, which I've seen a thousand times and gone, why is it called the Gothic Cottage? The Durden's, 1915. The Durden's, 1915, Gothic cottage. It's less impressive for me,

architecturally, than the library, which is really nice. Actually, outstanding, I'd say. But yeah, these have got little crenellated windows, like castle-like. But apart from those, what makes it Gothic? Not anything, really.

It's not very ornate. I mean, the thing is, the word Gothic is kind of nebulous. Right. Because depending on what... Architecture or arts or music or fashion, right? And all goths. That's a whole different thing.

That's a whole different thing. But it's same word. Yeah. But effectively it's like... I think in that period it could even be talking about just the time it was built. It's a Gothic cottage. Not necessarily being Gothic and architecture. But, I mean, again, nebulous.

Right, we're crossing this bridge. And then on the other side is our first charity shop, I believe. So are you ready? I'm ready. Are you ready? Cross back over the rail line here. Yeah, back again over the rail. Again, I would have walked this countless times back in the day,

picking up stuff for the podcast. And yet, it's weird, but we never really ever did a walkabout while we recorded here. We're doing it here. I'd not quite like, there's a nearby, there's a graveyard. Really nice one. We are, we are good. Yeah, sorry, I thought we weren't recording then and I panicked.

A graveyard? Wait, where? What? Around here. I'll check the map, but it's... It's a really nice one. And you definitely never saw it when you were living here. No, I'm realising I didn't do much while I lived here back in the day.

Well, you were commuting. No, you were working here? I wasn't. No. I was working here at the time. We'd be doing cheap, sir? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Once a month? Well, you'd come up once every fortnight and we'd record two episodes and then that's how we'd do it. And I think, I think we might have been still fortnightly at that point. Yeah. I think we were. Either way, we're back and we're going to give it a more forensic explorational. of its charity shops. Now I know there's like two on this route and then we've got to go back to the town centre for the rest.

We're passing a pub here. Earl of Beaconsfield. It's not pronounced Beaconsfield, although it's spelled Beaconsfield. Look at this Earl. What's he doing? Is he got fish? It looks like fish. It's a book. Oh yeah, it does look like a book. It's a newspaper or something, isn't it? Oh, look, there's an actual photo of the guy. He looks grumpy.

Do you know that photograph of the painting of Jesus that was poorly restored and looked weird? It looks like that. It's like, there's the photograph, the sign of the sign of the... and then there's the restoration. The photo as well. He looks a bit fucking... Mousable. Like someone's just slapped him with a fish.

I mean, maybe it wants fish then. Wrapped in newspaper. No, because you can see it's... The sculpture thing, the relief or whatever, is based on that photograph which is on the sign. And look, here's a paper. I've got to love to look. Take a picture of it.

I'm going to see if this charity shop still open and exists. Yeah, I know. We've established it's a newspaper. What? Well he... He looks like a jazz musician eating some fish. That's what it looks like. Now I'm generally concerned about whether this charity shop still exists

because it was one of my favourites back of the day. But who knows what's going to fucking happen? Although I'm still waiting for Eli to take a picture of everything, as per usual. Is it here? I think it's there. Come on, Eli. Stop taking pictures of things. It's time to get tat hunting. I think it's just...

here let's have a look so we're going past the barb which I believe back in the don't know I'm going to distribute it for 10 pounds I've pulled out a 10 pound note for each of it me and Eli's which is just a one of us each I don't want I'm talking about no I mean you can if you had to yeah but you got to use your own money yeah but you got to use your own money if you go above so that's the rule there thank you patrons for making this tent hunt possible yeah look it's still here the romsey hill Romsey Hill charity shop so let's get in there so let's get in there there and have our first look at some charity shop muck.

The tat hunt begins. I'll do. So how was that? How was that? That was the Romsey Mill charity shop. Is that the one you remember as being... Yeah, that's one of my favour when I lived here. It's what you want, bric-a-brac-a-plenty.

Yes, but you know why what makes it excellent is they've... It's really well organised and all similar items are put together in boxes. That mainly makes such a big difference. It just makes you much more likely to have a look, you know. When it is all too much random stuff, you're like, oh, you know, I'll never find anything here. But that, for example, had all the figures, all the erasers, all of the little porcelain figurines altogether, glasses, everything. And the little sticker on to tell you that this bag's full of knickers and this bag's full of badges. Very, very impressive, actually.

And it's the way they should do Brickerback shops. You know what I mean? Right. So I... Did you hear? Go on. Because I was... Did you hear that sigh that the woman gave when that bloke eventually left?

Yes. And did you see her saying goodbye before he was obviously a bore? He said, you could listen to my radio show. On Cambridge Radio, which is the community radio station. Oh, did he mention the station? Basically, everyone who got fire from the station, I worked that, moved over the Cambridge, just to keep their hand in the industry.

He was dull. He was talking about CD prices, a lot. And then maybe selling his CD clutch for a bit of money and I'm thinking, I wouldn't. I think he'd just better off dumping it in a charity shop. Or here's an RSPCA book shop if you want to have a look in here. Yeah, I've already got my textbook. Oh, you have?

Yeah, I've got a great big. I'll just take a five minutes. I have a quick look, because I'll come in as well, but I'm not going to get a book now. I rest anything wins me over. But, yeah, that guy was incredibly dull. And when he left, the woman did go, oh, like that. But then I also noticed he walked past just thus then when we were recording. So maybe we thought we were doing a radio show live in the street.

Who knows, but he's gone now. If you want a visualization of what that man looked like, you know the guy who said, Inconceivable in Princess Pride? It's him, basically, visually. That's what he looks like. Anyway, I think up this road there's another charity shop,

at least one more, so we are going to keep on tat hunting. So far, so good. Right, so we've just done our third charity shop, Arthur Rank Hospice. just on off Hope Street, facing Catherine Street, if you're following Adall online, listening to this, I don't know why anyone would be. I don't know why he would be tracking us as you listen to this.

That's a waste of everyone's time. Anyway, we've got one more just up the road, the Children's Society. So we're going to pop into that in a little bit. But as it stands, I've got a few trinkets. I've got a few books. I think that'll do me. I'm just waiting for Eli now to make his decision about if he's going to be. to pick anything up in the Arthur Rank Hospice,

but he's currently doing a dive into what you're doing? Found anything? Coming out? They can't all be winners, mate. There's one more shop just at the Road Children Society. So we're going to go there. Did you get anything there? No, not there, no. There were a few more clean, and did you notice everything was more expensive as well than that?

Much more expensive, actually. It was like a board game I was thinking of getting, but then it was like seven quid, and I was like, no, no, no, no. Oh, what the tiles? The coloured tile one? No, it was... There's some interesting things. Have you heard of Myrtle? Yes.

It was a game based on Myrtle. A game based on Myrtle? Like a board game version of Myrtle. Murdle is like Wordle meets murder mystery, right? I'm not... I mean, yeah, something like that. It's some kind of like logic, puzzle, stroke, murder mystery thing. You know why Wordle? The original Wordle was called Wordle.

Because his name is Wardle, the man who... So he thought he'd be a bit... It's weird as it's like a... It's like rogue-like or something like that. It's become a whole sort of... Term for stuff. Yeah, funny. Although the game itself wasn't original

because I remember I found that mastermind game that was word-based and runs off the exact same logic. That's the genius. It's very, very basic. The genius. There's not so much it was his idea by how he marketed it and made it super accessible for people. It's just a...

When those tiles turn around, they turn green, man. It's just like there's a little thing, you know what I mean? So here's our last stop on this road, Mill Road, the Children's Society, and hopefully it's open, it's looking like it. So, uh... There was a word all the other day, bylaw. Fucking hard to get. Is that one word?

Yeah. B-Y-L-A-W. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I thought there might have been a dash in it or something. Anyway. Calling something by the by-the-by, by-election. There's no...

B-Sexual. No, that's by B-I, as in twice. This is B-Y. By-election doesn't... By-law doesn't mean twice law. It might do. No, shut up. You don't know.

You might do. It doesn't. It means decide-law. I'm by-law sexual. How about that? Why is it always the same? Because we've been doing this 11 years. We were out of ideas now.

Just ask your partner if it would be okay if you banged some cheap show groupies. Yeah? And then go and do it. I think that would be a catastrophically bad idea for me. and my relationship. Yeah, but the real life, me, don't do naughty stuff, does it? The cheap show gun, and oh, he's a prick, naughty, dirty boy.

Oh, he's got smut all over his dick. I haven't even got Tat Object 1. Haven't yet? I've got loads. Shut up. I always do well at Tat on. It's why it's my favourite episode to do. Right, we're going into the shop.

We're going to start chattering and get tattering. Yeah. Go on, take the lead. I'll give you a minute head stop. Because usually we'd split up, but actually, I'm going to give him a minute head. start to have a little look free of my omnipresence, I suppose you could say. But it's lovely being back in Cambridge.

Could have been a nicer day, but, you know, like, it's England, and I think 2026 is going to be a weather right off year. So we're getting out while we can. Paul, stop talking. Right. Paul, I believe we're in a part of Cambridge known as Romsey. Because that says North Romsey on that sign. And this says the Romsey grocers and butchers,

where we've just bought energy. His and hers energy drinks. Oh, you've got sugar-free. I've got sugar-free, red bull. You've got red-ball, energy drink. All-man drink. Rochester Village is 1889 in those houses. Hey, here's something I forgot to tell you.

So you know I had me McDonald's breakfast this morning? And you issued the Frank's Red Heart. I wasn't in the move of spicy that time of day. It's not very spicy, to be honest. I know, but I'm still waking up. I need my palate to build up to that. Well, you should. Anyway, there were these two people making a round.

right fuss and being a bit pricky at the counter, you know, you pick your food. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, I did none of this. Incompetent, incompetent, I heard them say a few times. Oh my God. That's like, come on. And then they turned around, got what they want, and barge past me by saying, move it like that. Really?

Yeah. Who were they? Well, here's what made me laugh. As they walked away, they both were in the same black jumper. And on the front of the black jumper, it says, it was something like, no, no, it was something like care in the community, health. helping people one soul at a time or something. And on the back, the T-shirt, it said,

to the person standing behind me, you're special and you need to know this. And I was like, you just talk to fucking get out of my way. Oh, my God. I was like, you can wear the shirt, but you sometimes have to also walk the walk as well. Fucking scum. Get out of the way. I know. I'm fucking to say, excuse me.

They didn't. They just moved out the way. I moved out the way horribly. Either way, I thought, how funny to be like that rude but wear a shirt. saying, oh, you should love everyone and everyone special? Apparently not. Can't. Yeah.

Luckily, no one, by the way, has broken wind near or adjacent or on me. Because there's some, there's some suspicious-looking people who look like they could have. The guy from their local radio stations looks like he could... He looked like a right parper. She literally, I know we've gone over this, but she literally went... Oh! And you know he must come in every fucking day. I just fucking witter on.

I love this, Byzantine, almost. Church. With the red and white alternating brickwork. It reminds me of what they call Bristol, Byzantine, Byzantine. Yeah. Right. Okay. It's influenced by the...

I need to go around this way because it's easier for my hand to reach to you When I've got this. It's the Byzantine Empire. It's Victorian architecture that takes its inspiration rather than from the Romans or the Greek architecture from the Byzantine. Which is what the Byzantine was what happened to the Roman Empire

after it sort of split up. Is that the I or B.Y. B. Y. It is B. I bylaw, yeah. I'm a Byzantine sexual then. There's an ex-dry cleaners with an earn in it. One bedroom flat tilette, two bedroom flat to let. I'm the mother of fish, it says there.

So, so far... Why does it say, I'm the mother of fish on that ship shop? I'm the mother of fish? Is it like one of those awful knock-off Argento movies? It's Jays Cabab, and on the wall in Jays Cabab, it says, I'm the mother of fish. I don't get it. Poseidon?

Get your fish here? They don't say Poseidon is the daddy of the sea. He's not just fish. So is mama of fish. There is no mummy of fish. I tell you what, I had a girlfriend. That's what they used to call my mum. That just called my mum, mother of fish.

Oh. What? Here's a... Her clout stunk of stout. Oie. A clout stunk of a fishy stout. Yeah. That'd be known as old fishhead stout.

Yeah. Right, okay. Now, Paul, talking of fish, I don't know if you remember, but when I was in Florida, the first missive that, from when I was recording, bits. It included a

a $10 can of smoked rainbow trout with an ornate tin. Okay. Ornate packaging, put it that way. Where's it going? Well, I bought it and I told you about it then, everyone. But I tasted it the other day and some toast. Right. Very nice. Don't know if it was worth 10 bucks, but... Do you reckon

it was worth a podcast moment as well? Yeah. I disagree. A lot of people on scooters, isn't? around there. Have you noticed that? Well, it's a very, it's a, it's a very cycly place as well, isn't it? Yeah, it comes from that. Yeah. All right, okay, so we've done, how many, three charity shops we did. That one, I know four, right? Children's charity.

RSPC bookshop. Yeah, and then those two, the children's one, and then the... Children's... And then the Arthur Rank or whatever it's called. Arthur, yeah, which is what people honestly used to call Wank. Having Arthur... Having an Arthur. Having an Arthur.

Poor Arthur rank! Talking of having an Arthur I'll tell you what is funny Cockburn Strick Tell you what though What makes me laugh Now is that in America

There's a word for masturbation called gooning Or being a gooner Yes it's very modern Isn't it Yeah My Arsenal loving girlfriend

Didn't like that phrase All of the But the Arsenal fans Are known to be wankers Well yeah There you go So it's kiss me Don't insult anyone

But yeah Yeah No it's funny I didn't look at these books Outside Oh yeah There's a few books Outside

So so far though Out of the four charity shops You see, it's been good stock really, hasn't it? I definitely have two items. I've got a few. But, like, each one so far has had its, you know, delights and... Like, there's a few of them. That was a bit too price.

Like, there was that board game I saw. Remember slapstick? But it was 25 quid, like a 70s thing. It was a proper vintage thing, yeah. Yeah. We actually have covered that on Cheap Show episode, one of those. Yeah, have we? Or something similar?

No, it was that. Oh, well, it gets about that book, don't it? I remember reading these in W.H. Smith and Brent Cross Shopping Center. Oh, yeah, that's what I remember. Sometimes I don't remember the things. Well, I remember your fucking anecdotes based around them. Because they're very good anecdotes. And you repeat them a lot as well.

Eric Sykes book, if I don't write it, nobody else will. Good old Eric Sykes, Comedy Genius. I've read that Wonderful Life, The Burgess's Shale and the Nature of History. Yeah? by Stephen J. Gould. I mentioned the... Let's keep all talking. I mentioned the Cambrian explosion, didn't I today?

That's what that's about. Yeah. Which was... The Burgess Shale is one of the most famous sites where they found fossils. And most of the evidence for the Cambrian explosion is from that one site, the Burgess Shale, yeah. Lots of different, like I said.

It was a period in evolution where they were experimenting with lots of different forms, body forms. Oh, body forms. Body forms. Body form for you. And we only have a few of those. You know, there was all these alternate ways that it could have gone.

There was several that just aren't around at all today. But some of them became like the fish and then us and all of these. You see what I mean. Romsey Mill, that's my favourite one. This was my favourite back in the day when I lived here. There was always something. I mean even now, if I did have to carry it all back,

I probably would get that board game, and I probably would get that bank attack one or whatever it's called. Bank attack? Yeah, a little plastic toy game. We have to rob a bank. Oh. But again, I'm trying to keep my load unburdened. Keep your load on your balls.

Yeah. Right, so here we are. We're going to cross the bridge over the railway again. We're going to head into the town centre where there's a couple of charity shops within the city centre itself. So, good stuff. Or Mill Road on the other. the side of the bridge. Maybe. I don't remember there being any, but maybe, we'll see. But for now...

It'd be nice, Paul. What? Sit down and have a smoke. Well, we'll cross the... I think the graveyard's up around here. Well, yeah, but also, there's the fields here as well before you get into the city, so theoretically we can just take a plonk on down there. Take a plon. Take a plon on. Take a plonk on. Take a plonk on. Take a plonk, plonk, plonk, every donk. Tick-tok, every block. And that's when we run out of things to say. We just say that can of shit right okay no come here what going past the earl of beckonsfield again look at his face in this photo come i've seen it he looks mardi doesn't just look mardi when you get up close yeah thank you mardi man look at his up close he looks like a weird yeah fish-faced you've

taken a picture of this right yeah so people can see how bumpy he looks yeah he looks well grumpy look he's holding a newspaper and yeah he's holding a newspaper as if he's just like lost like Yeah, he lost a fortune or something. He lost a fortune on the stocks and he just read about it. All the way on a horse or something. I might look into it. Look at what the paper looks like. I know.

It's more like his lips make him look like... He looks like, yeah, like the monkey Christ. Like a monkey Christ thing, yeah. Right, okay. We're going to keep on walking. We're crossing the bridge. We're heading back into town. Tat Hunt...

Yeah. Tat Hunt continues. Now. Right, so, I don't know when we spoke to you last, before the bridge. We are now on the other side of the bridge and we're going to, was it, mill road cemetery or whatever. Which you never knew even was here. Well, I knew this path. I never ever went down it in my days.

It's very nice, around here. Very nice cemetery. We were in a charity shop just now. No one was working there. No, we were there for, like, what, 15 minutes waiting for anything? We could have raided the place. Yeah. You could have got all 50 quids worth of stock they have or whatever. Because it is the thing. I get like, you know, charity shops can like be short-staffed and people are volunteers. But like, there was no one in there the whole time behind the thing.

I looked into the, through the glass, into the staff back quarters. Nothing. And he might have... I think that someone's died or something. Honestly, I did. I mean, I don't know. I don't think that. But at the same time, if you're going to be away from the desk for a bit, try and, like, either close the shop up, if you're gagging for a poo, maybe just say hello, ladies and gentlemen.

I've got to go poo, so I'm closing the shop up for 10 minutes. You wouldn't be outraged. Well, no, honestly, it's a cherry shop. I mean, you wouldn't, but people would be, don't say that. Oh, maybe I wouldn't say go poo. How disgusting. Maybe I'd say... Oh, you do a poo?

You mustn't say that. No one does a poo, especially not my mother. I would say everyone out. It's shit in time. And then I'd take a microphone in with me and record the whole dropage. No, I wouldn't. My secret. You took a shit.

I'm proud of you. What, in that toilet? Yeah. Now, I have got a hang-up about where I do drop in my home. People, for example, it's a cliche, but people don't like to, you know, have to take a shit when they're out. A lot of people do. I mean, people, and famously, Kenneth Williams, you weren't allowed to take a ship if you went around to his flat. I mean, that's terrible.

It's cool for. Parochial burial grounds. That's all right, isn't it? Here we are, look, there's a little bit... Casual. Oh, and you know what? I have been here, actually. It's all coming back to me now. Because I think I used to come here for a smoke every now and then to get out of the house.

That's exactly what we're doing. It is actually. Mill Road Cemetery, the history of the cemetery. Oh. By the early 19th century, the churchyards of Cambridge were full. It's the same old story with these places, isn't it? Same old story, mate. We're full and could not be extended in the built-up city centre.

That's exactly what happened in London. isn't it? That's why you get the magnificent seven in London. Yeah. Isn't that right? So they basically bought this land up and turned it into a cemetery. It's bought by public subscription

to provide new parochial burying grounds. What does parochial mean? I mean, I know it means small-minded, but it's come to mean sort of small-minded. It can mean, but it comes from, I think,

the idea of small village. It's like a parish, I think, isn't it? Something like that. Parochial, parochial. Dictator. Anyway, what to look out for? Likens and moss.

St Mary the Less Who are these saints? I don't know But they're saints What does it say about the saints? Rattie family That's Rowland rats Yes it is

Moyles family Chris Moore's Radio 1 DJ Lawrence family As in JD Lawrence So that Anyway You can look for lichens

And moss on the headstones And grave surrounds Native butterflies The Great Spotted Woodpecker Plants primrose ivy broom rape never heard of broom rape before violets primrose elders and black grease oh it's a type of plant he's dying on this city road map well luckily we're in a graveyard so we have a sit down somewhere yeah we have a little walk around and we have a sit down and

get back to it but mate we still got shopping to do i know we can't dawdle too much well we've got ours got ours what's that of a town to the north of it elie it's a i i opened the christmas light in ely once. Did you? Yeah, because my radio station was helping fund it. Military grey.

All right. H-F-H. Gippenit. Giggedy, giggedy. Yeah, I knew you were going to do that as well. Jesus Christ. Can't believe that. We're both being well dad joke today,

aren't we? Yeah. This is a lovely cemetery. It has to be said. Very nice. It's very overgrown and spooky. Yeah, it's great. It's like there's little pathways

all over the place. Like the contrast. It's similar to Highgate. The contrasts between the Victorian gravestones and the modernist building from the 60s behind it, you know? Right up against it,

built right up against the original wall, which is crazy, isn't it? Well, they didn't have room, did they? No. Still, some of these vaults, I mean, take some pictures, Eli, take some pictures. Good, and let's find a place to sit down. This is nice.

It's funny, isn't it, though? I spent years here. Didn't really look about the place, because, to be fair, I was getting up to crack a dawn, doing a breakfast show for Cambridge BBC and coming home and then doing podcast stuff and being largely depressed

but I'm always largely depressed so it makes no fucking odds does it there's a bench here full of shit and clutter and mess I'm not going to sit near that I can't be dealing with it oh but uh

take a few pictures of this I think it's a very spooky graveyard where is he he always does this dawdling pixie So, as I said, this is a two-part episode. I don't know where the split's going to be. Depends on the content.

But yeah, no, it's lovely around here, really, isn't it? Here's a bench. I'm going to sit my ass on this bench in Mill Road Cemetery. Yeah, you know what? It's kind of sad that I never took up the chance to come here more often when I was lived here. You were working quite hard at the time, weren't you? I'm working quite hard now. I don't get to see much of London now

apart of when we do the fucking podcast Oh, this is good Yeah So should we just chill for a bit Have a smoke? Yes And then crack on Because we've still got some

Town Centre stuff to do Absolutely You're not for it poor This might be an episode Where I don't split it Right at the Tatt Trail Sign off I might see if it rolls over to next week

No one needs to know this I might It's just so people know You always say when people don't need to know What stuff I'm saying You're boring I'm not boring And stuff you say is like

I'm not a boring person. I'm not a boring person. All right. Well, okay, let me just say this differently then. You make interesting things boring when you talk out loud. I don't. When I talk out loud. What other kind of talking is there? I don't want to get into a firebag. Voice in your head. Talking.

You have that. You have too much of that. Yeah. I'm having a row right now. Yeah, exactly. All right. Now, we're going to taste something later. Oh yeah.

What do you want to taste later? B.BQ. Fried dough. Is it barbecue? It says BBQ, fried dough. Oh, it's savoury. Yeah. This is fried dough, everyone, by a company called Wa Yin.

That makes sense because I've encountered fried dough before in Chung Fun, which is like these big rice noodles, which they sort of stuff. You can put prawns in or a rote. Have you had that stuff? I have had that stuff. You know, the big thing. Yeah, a veggie one. But they do one with crispy dough in, which is like,

it's one of those dishes where they tell you, Like, always test that if you're going to a new Chinese restaurant. Because if they do that good, it sort of is, it's like, you know. Then you don't get shit from everything else you eat. Yeah, or whatever. That's a good point. Also, what else you go? Just for myself.

Eli's been to a few charity, not charity, Chinese supermarkets. Spicy peanuts. With the little bits of Seshwan Peac. Nice. These are great, man. We'll have some on the train. We'll have some of those on the train. And a few bits of bobs now.

What have we got coming up on the show? Well, I mean, over the course. Have you done all of your tat from the tat hunt? Have you got everything? I've got a chunk. But there's a few more charity shops once we get into the town centre. I need to find one or two more items.

Just to let you know. I'm doing all right. Put it one way. I'm confident. I haven't got anything that's musically astounded me in terms of buying some record. Me too.

Me too. There was a top of the pops hit, single, not a top of the pops covers Best Off collection, but like an actual BBC top of the pops album. With actual tracks on? Yeah. Like the original artist tracks, yeah.

But all those tracks were shit bar one, Dr. Hook. track, R-IP Dr. Hookman. Oh, he died the other day, didn't he? Yeah. You started of interest. They were big, but they're nothing. I think their reign

of terror was over by the beginning of the 80s, wasn't it? Yeah. But they were big for a while. No, they were huge. It's infamously that clip that Stuart Millard has on his channel where they appeared on Saturday Superstore. And what's funny is the lead singer of Dr. Hook's

on there having a chat with Mike Reed and trying to be interesting when Mike Reid's being awful. He's a terrible guy. You don't mean the Cockney Mike Reed. He was awful in a different way. No, this is a different, awful, Mike Reed. Mike Reed, the Cockney guy, was a pretty good actor

and also... Driffy! He was just... He was just a... He had some charm. He had a Cockney, which means he had his own problems. Right, so, you've made me lose my point now. What was I talking about?

Mike Reed. Oh, yeah. So... Dr. Feel Good. In that clip, which you can see on Stuart Millard's channel about Saturday Superstore, this kid talks to him, and then he's like, oh, I like it.

And he goes, oh, he has... yeah, did you want to talk to me? He goes, no, my mum put me on. And then goes, is your mum there? And the mum's like, hello, yes. Oh, yes. Do you meet people after the show? Oh, my God.

And he's like, yeah, we do. She goes, oh, yeah, maybe I can meet you after the show. You're coming to Oxford, aren't you? I'll be there, I'll be there. Wow. And he's like, yeah, yeah, okay. Because that, and she's like, you could tell that mother had sopping knickers on a Saturday morning. Saturday sop a store more like for her, wasn't it?

Saturday sop stop store. Oh, we have a lot, funny. But you just know that. morning it was like Mr. Hook Dr. Hook, Dr. Hook, you call them up for your mum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you speak to Mike Reed. And this kid's been like,

I don't know who Dr. Hook is. Yeah. No, they were sort of, I think they were kind of marketed as housewives, you know, a bit of a bit of a bit. A bit of all right. No. Um, what was their biggest hit? Like when you're in love with a beautiful woman? I think that was there. Yes. When you're in love with a beautiful woman. I think that's Dr.

Hook. It's starting to rain. All right, well, let's... Not smoke. Hang on, I'm just going to look up Dr. Hook, because I just want to look this up. Dr. Hook's hit. They had more than one. They were big for a while.

I know, but let's go with one. You're 16, they did as well, or something. Sylvia's mother, when you're in love with a beautiful woman, yeah, that is theirs. Yeah, thank you. What is Dr. Hook's most famous song? Sharing the Night Together. Weird.

And then Love with the Beautiful Woman. Sylvia's mother was their breakthrough million selling first hit. Ah, and what's that about? And only 16. Only 16, I knew it Yeah, see Because you just see You were only 16

Only 16 But let's not sing It was legal in Britain at the time Or if you go to the Isle of Wides What's the age now It's still 16 in this country I don't know It is

No, I don't I don't know Does seem like you're asking for a friend That's all I'm saying Right Okay, let's chill out I'll put my mum on the line Get my mum on

Right Let's take a break. Okay. Right, and that's Tat Hunt Part 1. Tat Hunt Part 1 is done. Join us next week for Part 2. Part 2 of Tat Hunt Part 2. Came bro, Tato!

Will we achieve our remit? Who will get the best garbage? Will Eli find a building? Will our train get cancelled? Spoilers. I mean spoilers, but it doesn't matter. Please know. Please enjoy.

See you next week. Bye. Love you. Don't say that. See you next week