CheapShow - Ep 488: Tat Hunt Cambridge (Stereo)

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

(Stereo Version) Back when CheapShow was only a couple of dozen or so episodes old, the economy comedy podcast was originally recorded in Cambridge, where Paul had his fill of charity shops to explore. However, despite recording there for almost two years, they’d never done a “walkabout” episode. So this week, to make up for lost time, Paul and Eli are heading back to Cambridge for a wander and a “Tat Hunt”. Not only that, but because Ep 500 will be a LIVE EVENT at the Cambridge Junction venue in August, it gives them a chance to track down and snoop about the theatre. The Tat Hunt rules are in place… They both get £10 to spend on whatever they can… Trinkets, Toys, Tracks or Textbooks, and they get to review them in next week’s conclusion. So here we are, Part One of another Tat Hunt adventure that ends up being all “rather pleasant”, which is a delightful change! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-488-tat-hunt-cambridge GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Bing bong, the train to Cambridge is on Platform 1. Please go there as soon as you can. Hello, I'm Paul Gannon. Oh no, don't make me go to Cambrough, because I don't want to go. I'm Eli Silverman, everyone. I haven't had a coffee yet. This was my fatal mistake. I have no energy and I'm going to be subpar.

All right, Paul? Yeah, cool, no part for the course. We are at Kings Cross Station in London about to board a train to two, Cambridge well strictly speaking it's going to Ely but we're going to be going to Cambridge on that route goes to Cambridge as well but why you ask little listener sitting there in your pants listening listening in your pants with your tit out or something I don't know what you do they're fully clothed not all of them some might be naked someone might be naked right now listening in the bath

listen to our sexy voice just saying just say there's a possibility there's a whole world of adult services and entertainment available to people, Paul. You don't have to fantasise about people who listen to you. Having a wank to you. You could do that. You could do that as a side hustle if you wanted, couldn't you? I could. I know I could. But that's not what this is about, is it, Paul? I know it's all very funny, laughs and jokes, but then someone might get offended.

Yeah, you. Someone might get their tit out. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for joining me back where I started. Right, so we are going to Cambridge today. For two reasons. One, we're going to check out the venue for our 500th live episode details in the description for this podcast and on our website the Cheaptsod a godagay and then also we're going for a walkabout and a tat hunt so this is a two-part episode part one we're out and about in Cambridge snuffling and huffling in the shops and then part two review snack and wander great I'm hoping to encounter along the way some brutalist

architecture Paul because there is some stuff I haven't seen up there yeah that is very famous you know okay I mean it's a university town and obviously the style brutalism associated with municipal buildings. There's a few of that. Particularly uni and hospitals and so forth. And also I have, just to let you know, Dirty. Pants.

No, our listener will after this. Fucking sex talk. Shit, that neck is off. No, I've got a dirty cream soda, what's it called? That brand, I can't have fucking... Mountain Jew? Oh yeah, you did show the... A dirty cream soda mountain dew to be sampling

and an espresso, Coca-Cola. Crazy. Crazy days. Crazy. Yeah, we can. I haven't had time to have a coffee. All right. That's fine. There's lots of great Chinese food, cheap, cheerful Chinese food in Cambridge as well. You know that? You can do that if you want. Well, we could go to a Chinese supermarket. But at the world is our oyster.

But you're thinking that road near where you used to live with all of the charity shops on. We've got to go there. That's great up there. There's a cemetery up there as well, you know that. And you can take that all the way into town that walk basically as well. So one way or another, it's going to be a packed double hour. about walkabout tat on investigative Cambridge-based episode this week. And because we've never even done at Cambridge, but you lived there for several years. We were recording like at the Cambrian explosion period of our podcast,

where all there was ideas flying, some didn't work, some body forms never got, you know. But basically, yeah, we recorded almost, I think around about 100 episodes when I lived in Cambridge. The first 100? Yeah, at least. At least Southampton in Cambridge covers. the first like 100 or so episodes easily. I don't want to get inside baseball now, but do you know it hasn't gone up on YouTube the latest episode?

Yes, but it's a YouTube fuck up. Right, it's not ours. And I don't have to fix it. Because I was online last night with a chat bot trying to make it understand the fucking problem. Oh yeah. It's not it. Can it take care of other problems?

I did. Like my dear. It didn't know my podcast, but I did come tons. So there you go. Okay, mate. Just sorry. Inside baseball. Inside baseball, behind the pit partings.

Let's get on with it because our train is on platform one ready to go. Yeah, we've got 10 minutes. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Have you got the ticket? Yeah, I've sent you on yours and your phone, so go on, get it out. Did you do it? Yeah, there's an email? Yeah, just go.

Just go. Yeah, just do it. Right, we're off. One, two, one, two. Off to Cambridge, we go. Roll the credits. Bing bong, Paul and Eli are now on the train. Going to Cambridge, direct, which is nice.

Nice. simple journey it's speeding through north london as we speak and elize a supping upon his coffee there's a hornsey haunny station there horny station horny station oh my god would you ever you literally took about three words i'm gonna come in my pants right now but how about that no we are hurtling through north london it's lovely uh good well done getting the fast train as well it's still going to take an hour so the one that stops everywhere must uh take forever This is the 1024 from Platform 1 of Kings Cross. It's Ely.

Yes? Named after that Mr. Mr. song. What's it called? Ely. Yes. No, what's it called? Ely. Yes?

Oh, hey, hey, oh. Hey, yeah, nice. Hey, oh. No, I'm happy with that. Hey, hey, hey. Right. So the plan of action, Mr. Silverman, is we get to Cambridge. We go to the venue.

We look around the venue. We speak to the people there. We walk up the street past where I used to live in Cambridge, onto the main road. We walk along the main road, picking up the charity shops along the way, and then that's it. Now, what are the rules for Tat Hunt this week? What do you want to do?

Are you going to give us a budget? That always is good. What was the budget for the last one? Ten. Let's do ten again, then. Ten again. It's good. It keeps them...

You're focused, because a lot of stuff is... It's meant to be cheap show, so I'm not going to give you a 50-bred down there. Is there going to be like one food item, one toy, do you want to go? No food. No food. I'm not in the move for food today. What's the matter? It's not just on the move for a food hunt. Have you had a stomach problem?

I just don't want this talent to incorporate food. I think that's fair. No, but it's a bad one. Right. So I think we should do Trinket, which could be anything from a little porcelain statue to a keychain to a keychain to a, a pencil case, you know what I mean, like a trinkety kind of thing. Yeah, right, yeah. Record.

Oh, now you're, seven inch, 12 inch, but a record. All right. All right. Toy. Okay. Toy, trinket, track. Toy, tinket, track, because... What else could be by?

Could it be a cassette, then? It's the format. Hey, look. It doesn't have to be a record. It could be another music format, yeah. CD, minidisc, a track. wax a cylinder. You're not going to find mini-discs.

You hardly ever find those. Sometimes you do. I did, but they were all blank. I'll say blank. They were blank ones that someone had filled out with the best hits of 1996 through 2001. Right. I mean, but that's the majority of the mini-discs that were manufactured

were those blanks, weren't they? And that was part of the issue, wasn't it? It never took off as a released format. They tried to release a bunch of albums on it. And while they were fine sales-wise, They could only sell as many minidiscs as they had in circulation, and they never, most people who owned the minidisc didn't buy it to have albums. Why do you think it never caught on as a way of playing music?

You know what? It's an interesting question. I don't really know. People surmise that it just became an industry system rather than a commercial one. So if you had a minidist, you probably worked in the media in some respect. Or in music. Yeah, you'd record your demos on it and stuff like that, yeah. So, you know, it was a nice fast, well, what's this?

Gasometer. That is a lovely example of an old gasometer. It is a nice gasometer, yeah. Sorry. No, it's well pointed out. I don't know where we are now, but we're right out the back of London now. So yeah, Trinket, track, toy. What else do we usually pick up in this bloody show for half-wits?

Now they're half-wits. Naked half-wits. Back into a tunnel. I'm trying to think of something else because of the alliteration that starts with tea as well. Don't worry about the alliteration. I've thrown you off with that. Yes, you have. What else do we? Toys? Drink it. Hadley Wood? We just passed there. Yeah, we've been there. Yeah, we have. Had we? I think so, I don't know, maybe. I think we did go, that's up. We did that episode where we, famously, where the firemen were spraying something weird all around the heath. That was up around air, I believe. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, we may have been walking on these very fields and did these feet in ancient time. Walk up on England's mountain side. Book? Oh yeah, book. We could do book. That's another category. Text. Text.

Ah. I want a high-five here. There we go. So trinket, track, text toy. Kane bro. Kame bro. Trinket track, trex, toy. Trinket tracks, trex, trex, trex, troy.

Sex, toy. Matthew Kelly's ex-toy. I don't know why I wanted to say that, but I did. He's still walking about. He's still kicking a ball. Yeah. I'll let you tell you what, you enjoy your coffee. I'll enjoy mine.

I will come back to y'all in a little bit because I think Eli wants to share a drink. Do you want to do that later or do you want to do that in this... Let's do a bit further into the journey. All right, okay. All right, well, heads down. Let's keep quiet and enjoy the view as we rock at Potter's Bar. Now we've definitely been here.

This is where we've got the 313 for night busing episode. It's just there. Which is a Patreon exclusive, which you can get to if you're a Patreon subscriber, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Ding, ding, ding, money, money. It was a palindromic bus name and indeed a slightly palindromic journey because we ended up going back up the other way. Yeah, because it was short and sweet.

Right, I'm going to take it in the view and we'll come back to you in a short while, which for us will be much longer because we're living this in real time. But for you, you're getting an abridged, edited audio edition. of our journey. I hope that makes absolute clear sense, thank you. Where does this train, where's the final destination? Ely. Yes? Duh, da da da, da, boom.

Right then, this trip, 1024 to 11.13. So yeah, almost like less than 45 minutes. Crazy. Right, so before we get to our destination, we're just passing, what's this station we're just passing right now? Royston, not Veasy from Liga Jaltern, but Royston. So Eli, tell us. about this dirty mountain dew. Now, do you remember the

shop on Finchley Road where we first discovered the orange cream? It's as you walk down from Finchley Road and Frog normal. I know. I don't care and the listeners won't know anyway, so get away, that shop. That shop.

I just stuck my head in. All the orange cream is gone. All the orange cream in London is gone. I've got wanted. But I might need to give that to a vent. How dare they? How dare they introduce this stuff? And then Coca-Cola, I called you out about it.

I'm going to have to call you out again. You mind you if my mum introduced a little game. We used to play cool Fizzy Stick. But then I got too old to play that game, apparently. So anyway, we're moving on. Is that real? What? Fizzy stick?

Huh? Is that real? Fizzy stick? I mean, we're not getting into that right now. Just getting to the drink. Now, this is. is a mountain dew. Are they made by Coca-Cola? It's one of the big...

Pestead. To fuck the sake. The problem is, is that we've mentioned mountain dew a number of times, and you think we remember shit like this? It's one of the big two, it doesn't matter, just get on with it.

Mountain Dew might be a Mountain Dew drink. Might be owned by them. No, it's not. It's one of the big two. Anyway. Paul, have you noticed there's a trend in food? Yeah. To call things dirty.

Dirty. Dirty pulled pork. Dirty mack and cheese. Cheeky. Oh no, that's cheeky. Cheeky and dirty sometimes interchangeable. I'm having a cheeky now and those. I'm having a cheeky.

Yes, it's used in the same way. But what does it mean when they say... Pepsico. Thank you. Yeah, I thought so. Thank you. Yes, Mountain Dew from PepsiCo. It's basically like the hard...

Mountain Dew is like the hardcore soda lovers soda, isn't it? Anyway. My mum loves it. And also, I... I saw a video... And I'm playing fizzy stick. I saw a video the other day and the guy was like, there's certain American English words

that are just better than what we use in English, soda is one of them. Candy. We call them fizzy drinks. I called it softies the other day. Softies and... I never told that in my life. I was in Brighton with my mate

and I called it softies on the way down. And he said, what on earth are you talking about? No one calls it softies. And then we went to this place. We were watching a gig of one of his mates. The menu it had listed under the softies The soft drinks

Weird weird And he went and he talked to the staff He was so bemused So angry Yeah He went to the staff In the shop and went like Softies

Do you call it that He's like no That's really weird I'm on it He needs to get out more Your mate I say that for him If Softies shook his world

Right Are we pulling in Literally now We've got another like 12 minutes 12 minutes So let's get this going So what does it mean though when they say oh we got dirty fries or it to me when you say something's dirty

it's like it's a deviation from the original recipe of something or the original understanding it's like if you had like a i don't know like a dirty Coca-Cola maybe it's Coca-Cola with rum in you know what I mean it's like some kind of deviation I want more thank you for attempting that but I want more specific explanation I'm going to ask AI why you're doing that I'm going to tell even what it is you're actually talking about so Eli has a tin of specifically dirty mountain dew which again suggests to me it's Mountain Dew with a perversion added to it and it's Cream Soda Dew

with a little asterix and I can't see where that asterix may lead me elsewhere but calories 160 it's going to be an interesting mix of the profile of Mountain Dew and cream soda this should be interesting

because for me like isn't Mountain Dew meant to be like a fruity flavour like an orange juicy type thing? Yes the basic is it's a fruity it's a sort of all-fruit or juicy fruity kind of bubblegum some people say and citrusy yeah you like you're a fan of the original mountain G flavour I like that bargey or whatever it was which she's just gorgeous no what was that one I had recently that I was cherry it was live wire or something yeah I don't know what it was

but it was good I could have drunk that forever right when dirty is added to chips fries or It means they're loaded or smothered with decadent, indulgent, savory toppings. That's what it means. You put a load of stuff on, basically. Cheese, meats. How are these, though? What makes this dirty is what I'm trying to do. Let's taste it and find out because maybe the proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

So... You like cream soda? I do like cream soda. Not all the time. It's a particular kind of a flavour profile, or Shepreth, which sounds like something a Lovecraft would have written about. You know what? I've just had a whiff. Of the drink?

Yeah, it is almost like cream soda meets a fruit. Can I have a sniff? Yeah. I'm going in for a sniff. It smells like melted ice cream. Yes. A little bit, yeah. Right, he's pouring it.

It's a pale yellow colour. Right, here we go. Chin chint, chint. Very ice creamy. Very ice creamy. Like, vanilla, melted vanilla ice cream kind of thing. I don't mind that. I'm not a fan.

There's something... Have another little sip. You see, here's the thing. It's fine, but it's not refreshing. It's not like... Nice and it's like. What? Yackold.

Oh yeah, it has got a bit of yacolte too. It tastes like yacolpheat, man. Fizzy Yacold. Yeah. I had a case of fizzy yak old the other day, for me enough. No, that does weirdly. I just... I like that. You know what it is?

It's like an acidic tartness, like you get in coke or like a fanta. which is at the front, which is fighting against the very strong vanilla cream sort of air. You do get a front fruit flavour, which quickly dissipates into that kind of melted vanilla ice cream. It's fine. The thing is to me, it's like over time,

and if it gets flat and warm, that's a sickly horrible accident. Yes, yeah. Yeah, okay. No, I didn't love it. I think it's quite pleasant. I do. Okay.

Wasn't as good as that cherry one. No, I'm going to give it a... two and a half fizzy bubbles out of five. Why is it dirty? Maybe it's dirty. Maybe what they're referring to is the addition of vanilla ice cream to...

Is that what they're referring to? Yeah, that must be it. Because it is just Mountain Dew with vanilla on the end. Yeah, I like... Actually, I'm getting into. Fine. I'm having a bit of a sugar buzz off it.

Well, look, you can finish that off because we'll be pulling in about five minutes or so. So let's get our gubbins together. We've had our lovely... a train treat. Now the weather is a little bit grey and a little bit spitty spitty but that won't stop us today. It's not super cold though. I've got my jacket and stuff so there you go.

Cool. Well then let's get ready to depart this train. It's very quick journey, very quick journey. It's good isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. expensive tickets? I think it was like 60 quid for the both of us, 30 both way I guess. So yeah and I didn't get the two person rail card because it was ball like and you have to send me like a photograph of yourself and your details yeah so it's a whole thing I mean we can still do it if you want but I still need like

you save money on the first even on the first but that means you've got to send me like a picture of yourself you know one of those passport things well if you can do that I'll get it done as soon as you can send me it all right now I have to weigh the pros and cons of my guts right now here we go that's why he didn't want to do food everyone there's a problem I knew it's

I had too much popcorn last night. I thought because we were, you know, meeting in Kingscross before we left, that you'd be in Mackey Dees getting the breakfast. I guess you went some back to Eves before you turned up and had breakfast. I knew it. Now, no. And I had a bacon butty before cost on the journey off. You've loaded up with greasy slot meat.

And it's bubbling about. Paul, did you go for the Frank's Red Hot or ketchup? I didn't. It's too early in the day for me for that. Sorry. I'm just wondering. No. either way, all I know is that I'm sitting on a gold mine of flatulence.

The best one I'm going to find is probably going to be in the station itself, so why don't you just go when we arrive? You want to have something to moan about? I'm going to build it all up over the course of the date, and then go to your house and drop it all off. No, I don't care. You're welcome to use my toilet. You're a grown man.

You know how to wipe your body. Do I? Flush twice. You presume too much. No, you know. After I do drop-ins, I just stand straight up and mince on out that toilet. I think it was something I saw online with some guy like a mannosphere thing where he's like... He'll wipe your ass.

Yeah, it's gay to wipe your ass. Can you imagine the idiocy of the thing? Because nothing says masculinity, like stinking of pipe arse. Carrying, cheatering on your knickers. Gross. Well, we've all earned something here, so... Oh, I tell you what, that mountain cheese gives me a real lift. Good.

Well, I'm glad because, you know. I think that's that bad. No, it's that, I keep saying it's not bad. It's just, I don't know, not for me. One more sip? No, I'm all right, I'm done. Right, we're coming in, so let's do the rest of this journey. Right, here we are, Cambridge.

Hey, baby. So, oh look, there's a map. Right, you are here. We need to go to somewhere down there. I just want to say. What? Nice one map, and a very good, clear you are here. Yeah.

I hate a hard to find you are here, don't you? Especially one with just a little bit. circle with no text around it, so it could mean anything. I just have to assume that's where I am. Yeah. Anyway, so I think Cambridge Junction is we're going to have to go down this road to here somewhere. Oh, do you want me to check? What's the place called? It's called Cambridge Junction.

But it's not too far a walk. I just, yeah, all good. It's like somewhere around here. Let's just check on the... Somewhere down there. Anyway, here we are, and I haven't been back here in... Actually, like eight years. Christ, actually, Jesus wept.

Eight years. Because I've been living in Harrow for, what, eight years now? No, hang on. 2018, I left. 1920. I had six. Oh, it's seven years then? It's been seven years since I've been here.

Doesn't time fly when you're making a stupid fucking podcast? Right. How's it looking on the maps? It's right in Cambridge. So all that time I was just filling with a conversation, Eli wrote the word Cambridge, just so everyone knows what happened in that 60 seconds. Because I am a stupid. I don't think city map is going to work up here.

Why? Because it's not London, isn't it? Oh, no, no, that won't work. Just type in, Google, Google, Google, Google. Oh, I'll just do it this way. Matt. You do it then. Right.

I'll do it. And record the podcast, apparently. Cambridge Oh you fucker Cambridge Cambridge Junction Right here we are

9 minute walk Okay, shall we? So we go that way And then it's just there, see? I wouldn't mind using the loo in the station Let's do that then Let's do that Don't forget to get your phone out, make

because you need to beat the thing on the way out So here we are Do you remember coming on this train all the way up to record Cheap Show back in the day in our early days? I certainly do, Paul. I used to enjoy it. Yeah, I did. It was lovely, yeah. But the landlord was a complete and utter fucking cunt.

Didn't you share it with a woman? I did, but that's the house after. Is that the person? No, no, no. The house before that that I had with my other partner, that was further out by Cambridge North Station. That was the one that was landlord. was tantamount psychopathically fucking evil. True.

But he was a guy who, it's a long story, but back then we're having trouble paying our electricity bill. So electricity people said, how do you put it a little meter in? And then you can pay what you're only using and not paying a flat. So we did that, right?

Anyway, when the landlord found out, he was literally screaming down the phone because here's what I'm thinking. There was something well fucking dodge about where he was doing his bills. So I think when we did this, it was kind of highlighting something illegally he was doing.

And then a couple of a month later, he wanted us out. Of course. So Dodge. If you're listening to us, by the way, that man, who I won't name, because A, I've forgotten, and B, fuck you. But also, you're a cunt and I hope your whole life has been spoiled by your actions. Thank you. Right.

What am I doing? I'm getting a ticket out. I'm getting a ticket out. Show me your ticket. Here we go. There's an M&S food there. Do you want to grab a posh sandwich? Hey?

Ooh. Oh, there's a Gregs there. And there's a Greggs and a Nero. Mate, and a wasabi. There's lots of options here, mate, for you. Oh. There's even a Sainsbury's local and a Pret. You know what they had in M&S the other day?

You know they have those little pots. They're not a sandwich. They're just like a pot like hummus or cheese dip or they have all different variations on those little pot, snack pots. They had a fucking New York pastrami one, which was all a bunch of little gherkins. then soft cheese filled with pastrami.

I'm going to have a look for that. You have a look for that. You're into that? Yeah, let's just get out of here because otherwise you just talk about food next to a picture of Danny Dyer's face, which I'm not doing. Oh, hang on.

A VNT. Remember your VN? Oh, he's done it. I'll go through this one. There we go. Boom, we're out. Eli's gone straight into M&S food, so I'm going to leave him.

I'm going to go out. He's just, fuck it. So here we are. Here we are. Gaw, it's nice to be bad. I mean, to be honest, I did love working and living in Cambridge. It was a nice little place to live. It was just unfortunate that I moved my whole life from Southampton to Cambridge for a radio job, only to have that radio job be sold off to a guy who replaced it with a basic jukebox machine. So that was a lot of time and emotional investment wasted. Uh, what else? Oh, I should just turn this off because with that, well, that was a lot of time and emotional investment wasted. Uh, what else? Oh, I should just turn this off, because with that.

Eli, I'm nothing. But anyway, it's nice to be back in Cambridge. I'm going to wait for him to come back. And I think, I think I have a poo brewing. But it's one of those moments where I just don't know whether to, you know, throw my cards in and go for a poopie or whether I should bite down on it and see if I can wait until I get home, which is a good, I don't know, like nine hours from now.

Anyway, these are just the things I'm thinking about that you don't really need to know. ruins the mystique of who I am somewhat, don't you think? But here we are in Cambridge, and we're going to go down and check out the venue. So, good. Oh, here he is. Here he is. I've just been telling everyone about my bowels and my bowel plans.

What are the plans for your bals? You can find a nice place to go poo soon, or bite down on it for nine hours. I don't think you should bite down on for nine hours. It'll ruin your mood, and it's just not... You'll just feel better if you go shit somewhere, even if it's, you know, a little bit grubby in there.

What's the worst that can happen? Well... You check before that there's toilet paper. You never... If I want to be a real man, I don't need to wipe, do I? No, let's not get... Let's, please... Shitty-ass bumole.

I'm a man today. Anyway, do you want to... Did you not go in M&S? You're not like it? They didn't have the New York dip thing with the gherkins that you dip in cheese. But they did have... But they did have pretzels

that you dip in like a salmon moose. Yeah. And they had a chicken Caesar where they little bread rondels. Rubbish. Yeah, none of them appeals to. M&S is shit. I'm sorry. M&S is shit.

It's just, it's just well, like, marketed slop. Yeah. That ain't any different from the usual garbage. I, to some extent I agree, but certain products, like those dippy, dippy cornucons with, come on, mate. That's the exception that proves the rule, though, isn't it? You know what I mean? So you want to go Greg's?

Yeah. Yeah, all right. He's going to go Greg's. Right, and we'll catch you on the other side of that. Honestly, I think you should take a... No, I won't now. Oh, come on. No. Take a shit.

Oh, God. Why is this podcast? I think that far had a big long tongue to it. You know what? This podcast has got worse. I know. People will say that online. Are they?

And I agree. I agree, but it's my podcast. And if I want it inshittification myself, I will. Nice. I will. Talking of inshittification. Maybe I'll go... You want to be deshittificating?

Yeah. And loadification. I deshittified myself the other day. Right, I'm going in Greg. And we'll see you on the other side of it. It's been a short walk, but we're here at the venue, the Cambridge Junction venue number two. And look, June, July, August, to the postdoc side, 2026, comedy, all the way down to the bottom, underneath Fiona Allen and the lost voice guy. There's Cheap Show, podcast.

live. Hey, look at that. Nice. I was a little bit upset maybe that we wouldn't be on these posters, but look, we're on it. That's exciting, isn't it? Yeah, there we are. Yay. So, we're outside the junction number two, number one's at the far end, by the way. It's part of the same building.

Oh, right. But, uh, short walk, there's travel lodge right there. So if you're coming to see us and you want to stay the night before or after the show, travel lodge right there. I mean, it's a travel lodge. It looks like a jail. And you know, if you want to, you know, slip your hotel room number two, to us during the live show, we can serve a shoe afterwards. Stop coming onto them. What?

Stop it. Why, who though? You're in a relationship? Yeah, with myself. Listen. Like, there's real life, and then there's Cheap Show Paul. And Cheap Show Paul, single, horny and very to bang. Do you think that travel lodge looks a bit like a jail prop from Blake 7 or something like

that? Yeah, why not? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. To be fair, it looks more like a block of flats. Yeah. You know, one of those early 2000s blocks of flats. That's really aged terribly.

I can't believe my fucking phone is broken. It's not broken. You've just got to scratch lens for your phone. How much do you think that would be? 300 quits. Well, no. Did you say you put a protector over it? Not the lens. I've got a protector over this bit, do you see?

Yeah, then you might need to, yeah, that might be a problem then. But I don't know how much it costs. Look into it. Find out if your shop does it. Like, who you're with. A few hundred pounds. Oh, I don't know about that. No?

Look into it. But I don't think so. Anyway, that's what he's worried about. So there's a pure Jim, five guys, ten pin, bowling, I, Max. There's lots to do in this area. Did you say Jim? There's a poor, pure gin. Jim. It's a gym as in gin as in gin and tonic.

I could murder one now. Let's get on it. Let's get on it. I'm depressed. Fucking world. All right, well, let's, Eli. In Cheap Showland, there is no such thing as fascism. There's just authoritarian.

Authoritarianism. Authoritarianism. What's it called? authoritarianism. Authoritarianism. That's all there is and I'm in charge of it. You were in charge of the authoritarianism. In Cheap Showland, I am anyway. You're a metta autocrat.

Yeah. Meta? Heter. Huff, woof, it is Dad joke week this week on Cheapshire, everyone. Are we going to go in there? Yeah, we're going to go in a minute. I just thought we do a little... Yeah, I said just after. So there's no rush. Don't want to be too eager be either.

But it's nice to see we're on the poster. That's fun. CheapShope podcast. It's warm. There's a breeze. I'm feeling all right. Apart from the thing about my phone, which makes. and want to kill myself. Mate, it's one tiny scratch

that you can probably fix for under 50 quid if you're lucky. All they're doing is replacing the glass, not the whole camera and the phone. You really, really need to stop being so dramatic. I know. You're having a fag everyone with his little pork pie hat on.

No, I'm paying a picture. No, I'm just painting a picture. And that you look like a spiv. You know, that film we discussed, Strong Room. Yeah. Great little B-movie from the 50s, by the way. British B-movie.

It's on YouTube. Worth it. Really good. they refer to cigarettes as fags in that. Yeah. So it goes back so far. The dialogue in that is really cool because it's sort of like a window into the period.

And it's really good. No, it's one of those few films that it's obviously dated but still feels very contemporary in terms of how it's made and things. It's a excellent. Good film. Yeah.

Right, so now that Eli the Spiv is finished selling nylon, spilling's busy selling nylon to bananas to the lady folk. I've got a spivish vibe today, don't I? I mean, can I just? Maybe suggest every day. Every day.

You have a spiv vibe? Just saying. All right, that's good. Right, okay, right, we're going to pop in. Arthur Daly was a spiff, wasn't it? He was, yeah. I love him. He's one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

And that guy from Dad's Army as well, remember that guy, who was a spiff. I never did, yes. It's an art type. Yeah, because it was obviously during the Second World War. These people were out to make a fast book with illegal goods. You know, watches, nylons, bananas, all kinds of extraordinarily rare things at the time. I mean, you could also call Dale Boy a bit of a spiv. Yeah, he's a spiv as well.

I'm sure there's various variations on the idea of a spiv. I just think Minder was the client. I mean, I would say the ultimate spiv is the dad's army guy because that's like the textbook idea. Yes, and it's more specifically to do with the war. Yeah, so yes, yeah. Anyway, I'm tired of saying the word spiv now. Spiv Spiv.

Oh, spoken word. Cambridge Junction is also doing the history. of folk horror, which is interesting, I think. Oh, that's interesting. Does it any folk horror's set in Cambridge? I mean, I don't know, but, you know, maybe. Maybe blood on Satan's claw or one of those ones was around here.

I mean, if you do know, well done you, but as it stands, oh, look, drunk women solving crime's going to be here as well. Oh, they, did they win, they didn't win anything this year either at that awards. Well, we're on the same bill as them here. Yeah. And we're better, conceptually. And so there's loads of stuff going on here. So, yeah, we're proud to be here in August on the 23rd.

Let's stop killing time and let's go in, because we have a tat hunt to do still today. A tat hunt, Mr. Silverman. Indeed, we do. So we're going to kind of move on. Right. Let's have a look at it. Update.

Paul has done droppings. Paul's feeling lighter on his feet and happier. Can you say thanks, Eli. I reckied the toilet for you. Eli did give me a reckey on the toilet. It was my suggestion that you go here, It was a good suggestion. We just seen the venue guys.

Yeah, we just, and. I was really impressed, I love it. Nice, like proper classic modern theatre space. Yeah, good. I can't wait. So again, details on our website, the cheapsedars.com. UK, if you would like to get tickets,

which we recommend you do, because actually they're selling pretty bloody quickly, surprisingly, so get them while you can. Hot cakes. You ever look into what hot cakes were? Yeah. They were literally like hot cakes. that they did in the pan, were they?

That sold really well. Hence the expression, sold like hotcakes. So now the planet is, Mr. Silverman, we've been to the Cambridge Junction, where Art Meets Life, and we are going to now walk down past where I used to live, way back when, and start our tatunt a proper.

Yeah, that man was just staring at me weirdly, as if to say, do you want me to say something? And I was like, I was going to walk away from him. People see that muff, the furry softie. What's it called? It's just a wind muff, isn't it? windmuff. They see the windmuff and it gets, especially people over a certain age, it feels it gives them an entitlement to sort of be interested in what we're doing.

All we're doing is having a conversation in public with this object in between us, but somehow it gives them, you know what I mean, it overrides our privacy, our sort of normal level of privacy. It's a curio though, in it? Think about it. It's a curio. He's still staring. He just had a little look. Let's follow him at home. Let's fucking mug him. Let's take his kowk keys and force him to go home and then we'll take him home.

That was... Are you happy and how you've seen... I'm happy with... Did Paul make the right choice? And he seemed very nice. Yeah. And the man who dealt with us, the manager. Rob, we can call him Rob. Thank you, Rob, for looking after us. And we discussed other aspects

and you're feeling better about that. Yeah, as I say, disabled access is good. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it's good to know that at the very least we're doing well and the venue is looking forward to us being there because sometimes you're put on a show and they don't give two shit do they?

We're on the poster and everything yeah great great so we're happy Eli's happy it's tat hunt time it is tat hunt time so just to go over the rules again 10 pound we're gonna go to a cash point and get that out yeah okay 10 pound to get

and there's four things but I reckon you can get any three of the four right so we can get text a book something of the written form Okay, but can we get all four of really feel like it? If you can get it under a tenor, yeah. Yeah, right, I see. That's the rule.

Okay. That's why I'm saying three of the four is acceptable. All right, good. Good rule. Thank you. So text, a book of some kind. And we're just looking for something of interest for the second part of this two-parter. Well, the second part is going to be us looking at the stuff and then walking around and exploring and just having a nice old time.

And then we go on. And then we go on. No. First part is the talent. I don't know. Stop looking at. You are the autocrats. Yes.

You are in control. But also, you all, the thing I try and get you to. to do is stop thinking too much about what we're doing and just do it so what we're going to do now eli is part one of this episode is now do the tat hunt thing because as much as i would love to just toss this off and say that's part one all we've done is get out of train and go seven meet seven minutes up the road to this venue yeah all right but i liked it not complete content three point five out of five for me on that right we're outside the uh cambridge junction we're going to head back the way we came effectively so first of all let's go for it again 10 pound

Four topics, three available if you can make it under a tenor. Text, a book, fine, anything like that. Next, a track, could be a cassette, CD, vinyl, album, single, whatever you fancy. Toy, just a little toy of some kind. And then finally trink it. Oh, that could be anything. Something on a mantelpiece, something, a keychain, something, you know, a decorative. Are we competing for best thing in each category?

Yeah. And are we competing for best overall thing? as decided by us. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe who spent the least on the most or something. You know what I mean? Like value for money.

Yeah. Right. So we're back up the stairs we go. And honestly, we go back to the station, then we carry on walking up the road, because that effectively takes us back to where I used to live. And then that's where the charity shops kind of start on that route. Especially that one I like most, the little kind of bumbley bum bum one.

You know what I mean? The rough and tumble one. You know the one that looked like a dead man's flat? Yes. What we've discussed before on this part, Paul, a high funk. High funk. Just like, raise my voice foundation around the corner for me. Yeah, high funk.

But also, some of the best stuff I've ever got in charity shop has been in those kind of places. Like that fucking diehard board game, which goes about 30, 40, 40 quid online, I got for like, what, three quid? In that place around the corner for me? Yeah. Great.

At one point, someone was like getting rid of all their board games and giving it to that shop, and I got a load of great ones. Like I got Rear Window based in the Hitchcock movie. Not that there as well. Again, a ball game at Ghostfight 40 quid online. I got for less than a fiver. Excellent.

I think it's because they don't have anyone who properly prices stuff. Or bothers to price anything full stop. Yeah. Which sometimes works in your favour and sometimes bite you in the ass. Because, yeah. You're expecting them to say, oh, a quid

and they'll say seven. Just because of a win. Essentially. Now, I'm going to give you two options here, mate. We can go to the route I was going to suggest, which is back the way we came up, up the road onto the high street or we can go straight ahead and walk the long way around into the city center and then work back what long way round you want to go the long way around yeah the only

reason i'm saying the other way is because i don't know what time these shops closed i want to get to the kind of fuddy duddy ones earlier and they're the ones up the high street yeah but we're going to have more options as we get closer into town how long are we going to go we're here till eight it's midday now we're not going to close till five are they i'm just saying it'd be nice to get the ones that are far out out the way so in the city centre in other words you want to do what you said the first option yeah let's do that then and I gave you the the false option of choice to make you feel a bit more involved in the creative process you really are a little dictator aren't you a

little autocrat a little but Paul Gannon autocrat do as he says or you'll be dead man do as he says dead man dead man do as he says dead man see there's no fact in the camera there but look if you zoom in yeah it's going to show you more the crack on that lens that's probably what it is i don't know i'm not going to that's fine i don't think the crack on the lens has fucked it i'm not going to bother well okay i feel better all right i feel down i feel up i don't i feel tired i feel sweaty i feel happy i feel sad i feel i am i in love ah i must be in love who's that you know what that was it's the rottles didn't even know that Right, so we're going to go back the way we came.

Right, okay, bye everyone. Bye everyone. We're getting our walk on. Where you going? Why did you go that way? I just was looking at a socialism poster. All right, good. Okay, the walk begins.

Let's bye. We've walked away from the station now. We're passing the Cambridge Islamic Centre and the Devonshire Arms, but I believe we're getting to the street now where I'm hoping a few of those charity shops that were here eight years ago still exist. I'm sure some do. And we last time I was here was here with Rogan and we went to a Chinese dumpling restaurant that was up here. Yeah. And it had its own 300 year old recipe chili oil. And I'm hoping it's still here because I might pick one at pick a jar up. Oh can you buy it?

Yeah yeah they do their own and the dumplings are like these crazy good portions like you got I got like vegetable dumplings literally like a heap of the fuckers pile of dumplings. Yeah. Yeah it's nice. Lovely. It's nice. So Yeah, this is where I used to almost live, just a street over, I think. Yes, but is this road? I can't remember now. Kingston Street, Devonshire Road. I think this is like, I don't know, actually.

Station road? Maybe. I don't know. Mill Road? No, that's Mill Road. Oh, doesn't matter. Either way, it don't matter. This is Mill Road. Yeah.

I think we've got to go over the bridge, though, anyway. Thank you. Confirmed by a local Mill Road. Mill Road. So I think we go over the bridge for our first charity shop here. What are you looking at? That's a real picture of a smash burger? Or AI.

It's hard to tell with the food, isn't it? I mean, I think that looks real to me. It looks like a stock photograph of a burger. It's stock photograph. Are you chicken cheese loaded, crispy chicken cheese loaded? Algerian flame box. I had a case of that the other day. It's good gag that.

You know, I love that old sign on that Kingston House there, established 1903. So when people look at our website, they can see what you're talking about. There's some lovely old buildings around here. That hall there is great as well, isn't it? That looks like it at some point must have been part. I see, you know what? I don't know. I'm not going to guess.

But either way, yeah, it's right by the Cambridge Math School. It looks like a school hall or a church hall or something, yeah. Or even like, I don't know, like a little factory or post office centre kind of thing. It has that vibe. Could be. Could be. I'd say hall, though. Very kind of ornate brickwork, Victorian.

Yeah. You can see photos that we take. Yes, on our website, the cheapsedars dot co. Okay. Yeah, do it. So I'm just going to have a little look at this. We're going to go, well, two of them are over the bridge. Again, presuming they're still there.

I keep forgetting that eight years flies by, so I'm presuming a lot right now. Oh, I've got wind. You took care of the downstairs blockage. I have at least evacuated my bowels, which means, you know, that kind of unsettling urgency feeling has gone. There's a library?

Oh, yeah. Yes. P-R-E-A-S-E-A. L library? Free library. Oh, free library. You know, when it comes to like data centers and people that,

that's your real data center, isn't it? Look at how beautiful. Look at the empty space. Look at the space inside that hall, Paul. Look. I'm on the street, though. It's kind of weird. You keep stopping and I can't get the mic on you.

Yeah, I love it. Isn't that cool? I like those weird tiles and circles on the building as well. They have a year. Those are like prefabricated, Victorian area prefabricated. Do you remember that place in Norwich we went to?

Yes. And it was that manufacturer used all those prefabricated tiles and and you see the garden space yes yeah and you see all of those bits we're like that's why these buildings are more modern than you realize because they're actually pre like prefabricated and which is what they still do to this day I mean modern in sense of compared to everything else but yeah the building techniques yeah I'm talking about you know and a new build but with old affectations added to them to give them age oh there's a comedy improv course if anyone's interested six weeks for beginners oh it's not about performing though it's just about

getting confident and having fun. Which is understandable because honestly I think it helped me. People would disagree, but it helped me. As your revision party. That was last week, so he gives a fuck. Gothic Cottage, the Durdens. Why have I never noticed this before? It's funny, I lived in Cambridge for close to two years

and I'm still looking at that building, which I've seen a thousand times and gone, why is it called the Gothic Cottage, the Durdens, 1915? The Durdens, 1915. Gothic cottage. It's less impressive for me architecturally than the library which is really nice.

Actually outstanding I'd say. But yeah these have got little crenellated windows like castle like but apart from those what makes it Gothic? Not anything really. It's not very ornate.

I mean the thing is the word Gothic is kind of nebulous because depending on what kind of literature or architecture or arts or music or fashion right. I need to take you sell different things.

That's a whole different thing. But it's same word. Yeah. But effectively, it's like, I think in that period, it could even be talking about just the time it was built. It's a Gothic cottage, not necessarily being Gothic in architecture, but, I mean, again, nebulous. Right, we're crossing this bridge.

And then on the other side is our first charity shop, I believe. So are you ready? I'm ready. Are you ready? Cross back over the rail line here. Back again over the rail. Again, I must have walked this countless times back in the day, picking up stuff for the podcast.

And yet it's weird, but we never really ever did a walkabout while we recorded here. We're doing it here. I'd not quite like, there's a nearby, there's a graveyard. Really nice one. We are, we are good. Yeah, sorry, I thought we weren't recording then and I panicked. A graveyard?

Wait, where? What? Around here. I'll check the map, but it's a really nice one. And you definitely never saw it when you were living here. No, I'm realizing I didn't do much while I lived here back in the day. Well, you were commuting. No, you were working here. I was working here at the time.

We were we doing cheap, sir? Yes, yeah, yeah. Once a month? Well, you'd come up once every fortnight and we'd record two episodes and then... Right. That's how we do it. And I think...

I think we might have been still fortnightly at that point. It must have been, yeah. I think we were. Either way, we're back and we're going to give it a more forensic exploration of its charity shops. Now, I know there's like two on this route

and then we've got to go back to the town centre for the rest. We're passing a pub here. Earl of Beaconsfield. It's not pronounced Beaconsfield Although it's spelt Beaconsfield Is it not? Look at this Earl What's he doing?

Is he got fit? It looks like fish No, it's a book Oh yeah, it does look like a book It's a newspaper or something isn't it? Oh look there's an actual photo of the guy He looks grumpy Do you know that photograph of the painting of Jesus

That was poorly restored and looked weird It looks like that It's like there's the photograph The sign of the thing And then there's the restoration The photo as well He looks a bit fucking Mousable

Like someone's just slapped him with a fish I mean, maybe it wants fish then. Wrapped in newspaper. No, because you can see it's the sculpture thing, the relief or whatever, is based on that photograph which is on the sign. And look, here's a paper. I've got a little. Take a picture of it.

I'm going to see if this charity shop still open and exists. Yeah, I know. We've established it's a newspaper. What? Well, he looks like a jazz musician eating some fish. That's what it looks like. Now I'm generally concerned about whether this charity shops still exists because it was one of my favourites back in the day But who knows what's gonna fucking happen

Although I'm still waiting for Eli to take a picture of everything as per usual Is it here? I think it's there Come on Eli Stop taking pictures of things It's time to get tat hunting I think it's just here. Let's have a look So we're going past the barber which I believe back in the... I know, I might admit a barb... I don't know, I'm gonna be distributed the 10 pounds

I've pulled out a £10 note for each of me and Eli's which is just a one of us each I don't know what I'm talking about no I mean you can if you had to yeah but you got to use your own money if you go above so that's the rule there thank you patrons for making this tat hunt possible yeah look it's still here the Romsey Hill Romsey Hill charity shop

so let's get in there and have our first look at some charity shop muck the tat hunt begins I'll do so how was that how was that that was the Romsey Mill charity shop is that the one you remember as being

yeah that's one of my favour when I lived here it's what you want brick a bracka plenty yes but you know why what makes it excellent is they've it's really well organised

and all similar items are put together in boxes that mainly makes such a big difference it just makes you much more likely to have a look you know when it is all too much random stuff you're like

You know, I'll never find anything here. But that, for example, had all the figures, all the erasers, all of the little porcelain figurines altogether, glasses, everything. With a little sticker on to tell you that, this bag's full of knickers and this bag is full of badges. Very, very impressive, actually. And that's, it's the way they should do brickerback shops. You know what I mean?

So I... Go on. Do you hear that sigh that the woman gave when that bloke eventually left? Yes. And did you see her? saying goodbye before he was obviously a bore. He said, you could listen to my radio show. Cambridge Radio, which is the community radio station.

Oh, did he say, mention the station? Basically, everyone who got fire from the station. I worked that, moved over the Cambridge, just to keep their hand in the industry. He was dull. He was talking about CD prices, a lot. And then maybe selling his CD collection for a bit of money, and I'm thinking, I wouldn't.

I think he'd just better off dumping it in a charity shop. Or here's an RSPCA bookshop. If you want to have a look in here. Yeah, I've already got it. my textbook. You have? Yeah, I've got a great big... I'll just take a five minutes...

I'll have a quick look, because I'll come in as well, but I'm not going to get a book now. I rest anything wins me over. But yeah, that guy was incredibly dull. And when he left, the woman did go, oh, like that. But then I also noticed he walked past just thus there when we were recording. So maybe we thought we were doing a radio show live in the street. Who knows, but he's gone now.

If you want a visualization of what that man looked like, you know the guy who said, inconceivable! in Princess Pride. It's him, basically, visually. That's what he looks like. Anyway, I think up this road there's another charity shop, at least one more. So, we are going to keep on tat hunting. So far, so good. Right, so we've just done our third charity shop, Arthur Rank Hospice, just on off Hope Street, facing Catherine Street, if you're following ad all online, listening to this. I don't know why anyone would. would be. I don't know why he would be tracking us as you listen to this. That's a waste of everyone's time.

Anyway, we've got one more just up the road, the Children's Society. So we're going to pop into that in a little bit. But as it stands, I've got a few trinkets. I've got a few books. I think that'll do me. I'm just waiting for Eli now to make his decision about if he's going to pick anything up in the Arthur Rank Hospice. But he's currently doing a dive into what you're doing, found anything coming out. They can't all be winners, mate. There's one more shop just at the road, Children Society. So we're going to go there. Did you get anything there? No, not there, no. There were a few more clean, and did you notice everything was more expensive as well than them? Much more expensive, actually. It was like a board game I was thinking of getting,

but then it was like seven quid and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the tiles, the coloured tile one? No, it was, um, it was based, I've heard of Myrtle. Yes, it was a game based on A game based on Murdle. Like a board game version of Murdle. Murdle is like Wordle meets murder mystery, right? I'm not, I mean, yeah, something like that. It's some kind of like logic, puzzle, stroke, murder mystery thing. You know why Wordle, the original Wordle was called Wordle?

Because his name is Wardle, the man who... That's rethought he'd be a bit funny with it. It's like rogue-like or something like that. It's become a whole sort of... Term for stuff. Yeah, funny. Although the game itself wasn't original because I remember I found that

Mastermind game that was word based and runs off the exact same logic That's the genius, it's very, very basic The genius, there's not so much it was his idea about how he marketed, it made it super accessible for people It's just a... When those tiles turn around, they turn green, man It's just like there's a little thing

You know what I mean? So here's our last stop on this road Mill Road, the Children's Society And hopefully it's open, it's looking like it So, uh... There was a word all the other day. Bylaw. Fucking hard to get.

Is that one word? Yeah. B-Y-L-A-W. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I thought there might have been a dash in it or something. Anyway. Calling something by the by,

by election. There's no... B-Sexual. No, that's by B-I, as in twice. This is B-Y. By-Election doesn't... By-law doesn't mean twice law. It might do.

No, shut up. You don't know, it might do. It doesn't. It means decide. I'm bylaw sexual. How about that? Why is it always the same? Because we've been doing this 11 years. We were out of ideas now.

Just ask your partner, it would be okay if you banged some cheap show groupies. Yeah? And then go and do it. I think that would be a catastrophically bad idea for me and my relationship. Yeah, but the real life for me don't do naughty stuff, does it? The cheap show canon, oh, he's a prick naughty. dirty boy. Oh, he's got smut all over his dick. I haven't even got Tat Object 1?

Haven't you? Not really. I've got loads. Shut up. I always do well at Tat on. That's why it's my favourite episode to do. Right, we're going into the shop. We're going to start chattering and get tattering. What's his one? Society. Yeah. Go on, take the lead. I'll give you a minute head start because usually we'd split up, but actually, I'm going to give him a minute head start to have a little look free of my omnipresence, I suppose, you could say. but it's lovely being back in Cambridge could have been a nicer day

but you know like it's England and I think 2026 is going to be a weather right off year so we're getting out while we can Paul stop talking right Paul I believe we're in a part of Cambridge known as Romsey because that says North Romsey on that sign

and this says the Romsey grocers and butchers where we've just bought energy drinks I've got sugar free red ball you got red ball energy drink. All-man drink. Rochester Village is 1889 those houses. Hey, here's

something I forgot to tell you. So you know I had me McDonald's breakfast this morning? And you issued the Franks Red Heart. I wasn't in the move for spicy that time of day. It's not very spicy to be honest. I know, but I'm still waking up. I need my palate to build up to that. Well, you should. Anyway, there were

these two people making a right fuss and being a bit pricky at the counter, you know, you pick your food. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, I didn't order this. You're incompetent, incompetent, I heard them say a few times. Oh my God, that's like, come on. And then they turned around, got what they want, and barge past me by saying, move it like that. Really?

Yeah. Who were they? Well, here's what made me laugh. As they walked away, they both were in the same black jumper. And on the front of the black jumper, it says, it was something like, no, no, it was something like caring the community, helping people one soul at a time or something. Oh, my God. And on the back of the T-shirt, it said, to the person standing behind me, you're special and you need to know this.

I was like, you just talk to fucking get out of my way. Oh, my God. I was like, you can wear the shirt, but you sometimes have to also walk the walk as well. Fucking scum. Get out of the way. I know. Like, fucking to say, excuse me.

They didn't. They just moved out the way. I moved out the way horribly. Either way, I thought, how funny to be like that rude but wear a shirt saying, oh, you should love everyone and everyone special? Apparently not. Yeah.

Luckily, no one, by the way, has broken wind near or adjacent or on me. Because there's some, there's some suspicious looking people who look like they could have. The guy from their local radio stations looks like he could... He looked like a juffer, didn't he? He looked like a right par, but... She literally, I know we've gone over this, but she literally went... Oh! And you know he must come in every fucking day.

I just fucking wit her on. I love this Byzantine almost. church with the red and white alternating brickwork it reminds me of what they call Bristol Byzantine Byzantine

Yeah Right Right Okay It's influenced by the I need to go around this way Because it's easier for my hand to reach to you When I've got this

It's the Byzantine Empire It's Victorian architecture That takes its inspiration Rather than from the Romans Or the Greek architecture from the Byzantine, which is what the Byzantine was what happened to the Roman Empire after it sort of split up. It's in the... B.I. Or B. Y. It is. B. Like bylaw, yeah.

So it goes... I'm a Byzantine sexual then. There's an X dry cleaner's with an urn in it. One bedroom flat tilette, two bedroom flat to let. So, so far... Why does it say I'm the mother of fish on that ship shop? I'm the mother of fish. Is it like one of those awful knock-off Argento movies?

It's Jays Cabab, and on the wall in Jays Cabab, it says, I'm the mother of fish. I don't get it. Poseidon? Get your fish here? They say Poseidon is the daddy of the sea. He's not just fish. So is mama of fish.

There is no mummy of fish. I tell you what, I had a girlfriend. That's what they used to call my mum. That's just called my mum, mother of fish. Oh. What? Here's a... A clout stunk of stout.

Oie. A clout stunk of a fishy stout. Yeah. That'd be known as old fishhead stout. Yeah. Right. Okay. So, yeah.

Now, Paul, talking of fish, I, I don't know if you remember, but when I was in Florida, the first missive that from when I was recording bits, it included a $10 can of smoked rainbow trout. with an ornate tin. Okay. Ornate packaging, put it that way. Where's just going? Well, I bought it and I told you about it then, everyone. But I tasted it the other day and some toast.

Right. Very nice. I don't know if it was worth 10 bucks, but... Do you reckon it was worth a podcast moment as well? Yeah. I disagree. A lot of people on scooters, isn't there, have you noticed that? Well, it's a very...

It's a very cycly place as well, isn't it? Yeah, it comes from that. Yeah. All right, okay, so we've done... How many three? charity shops we did that one I know four right children's charity R sbcc bookshop yeah and then those two the children's one and then the children's and then the Arthur Rank or whatever it's called Arthur Rank yeah which is what people

honestly used to call wank having an Arthur having an Arthur poor Arthur talking of having an Arthur I tell you what is funny my cockburn you tell you what though what makes me laugh now is that in America there's a word for a masturbation called gooning or being a gooner. Yes, it's very modern, isn't it? Yeah. My Arsenal loving girlfriend didn't like that phrase. All of the, but the Arsenal fans are known to be wankers.

Well, yeah, there you go, so. I don't insult anyone, but yeah. But, yeah, no, it's funny. Oh, yeah, there's a few books outside. Oh, yeah, there's a few books outside. So, so far, though, out of the four charity shops, you've seen, it's been good stock, really, hasn't it? I definitely have two items.

I've got a few. But, like, each one so far has had it. you know, delights and... Like, there's a few of them. That, it was a bit too price. Like, there was that board game I saw. Remember slapstick? But it was 25 quid, like a 70s thing.

It was a proper vintage thing, yeah. Yeah. Michael Kane, not many people know that. Oh, it's one of his... The Chinese wear white at funerals. Not a lot of people know that. That's one of those books. They slapped his name on and he had no idea what was in it.

We actually have covered that on Cheap Show episode, one of those. Yeah. Have we? Or something similar? No, it was that. Oh. Well, it gets about that book, don't it? I remember reading.

and Dobby J. Smith and Brent Cross Shopping Centre. Oh yeah, that's what I remember. Sometimes I don't remember the things. Well, I remember your fucking anecdotes based around them. Because they're very good anecdotes. And you repeat them a lot as well. Eric Sykes book, if I don't write it, nobody else will. Good old Eric Sykes, Comedy Genius.

I've read that Wonderful Life, The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History. Yeah? By Stephen Jay Gould. I mentioned the... Let's keep all talking. I mentioned the Cambrian explosion. didn't I today? That's what that's about.

Yeah. Which was... The Burgess Shale is one of the most famous sites where they found fossils. It's like... And most of the evidence for the Cambrian explosion

is from that one site, the Burgess Shale, yeah. Lots of different, like I said, it was a period in evolution where they were experimenting with lots of different forms, body forms. Oh, body forms!

Body form for you. And we only have a few of those You know, there was all these alternate ways that it could have gone. There was several that just aren't around at all today. But some of them became like the fish and then us and all of these. You see what I mean. Romsey Mill, that's my favorite one. this was my favorite back in the day when I lived here.

game we have to rob a bank. Oh. But again, I'm trying to keep my work, my load unburdened. Keep your load in your balls. Yeah. Right. So, here we are. We're going to cross the bridge over the railway

again. We're going to head into the town centre where there's a couple of charity shops within the city centre itself. So, uh, good stuff. Or mill road on the other side of the bridge. Maybe. I don't remember there being any, but maybe. We'll see. But for now. Be nice, Paul. What? Sit down and have a smoke.

Well, we'll cross the, uh, I think the graveyard's up around here. Well, yeah, but also there's the fields here as well before you get into the city. So theoretically, we can just take a plonk on down there. Take a plonk on. Take a plonker out, put a plonk on. Plonk, plonk, every donk.

Tick-tok, every block. And that's when we run out of things to say. We just say that kind of shit. Right, okay. No, come at here. Going past the Earl of Beaconsfield again. Look at his face in this photo. I've seen it.

He looks Mardi. Don't just look Mardi when you get up close. Yeah, thank you. Mardi man. Look at his up close. He looks like a weird, fish-faced. You've taken a picture of this, right? Yeah.

So people can see... Look how grumpy he looks. Yeah, he looks well, grumpy. Look, he's holding a newspaper. Yeah, he's holding a newspaper as if he's just, like, lost... Yeah, lost a fortune or something. He lost a fortune on the stocks, and he just read about it. I'll be all the way on a horse or something.

Although, the... I might look into... Look at what the paper looks like. I know. It's more like his lips make him look... He looks like... He looks like... Yeah, like the monkey Christ.

Like a monkey Christ thing, yeah. Right, okay, we're gonna keep on walking. We're crossing the bridge, we're heading back into town. The TAT hunt, yeah, Tat Hunt continues now. Right, so, I don't know when we spoke to you last, before the bridge, we are now on the other side of the bridge and we're going to, was it, Mill Road Cemetery or whatever. Which you never knew even was here.

Well, I knew this path, I never ever went down it in my days. Yeah, it's very nice, Randolph. Yeah. Very nice cemetery. We were in a charity shop just now. Yeah. No one was working there. No, we were in there for like, what, 15 minutes waiting for anything. We could have raided the place. Yeah.

We could have all 50 quids worth of stock they have or whatever. Because here's the thing, I get like, you know, charity shops can like be short-staffed and people are volunteers. But like, there was no one in there the whole time behind the thing. I looked into the, through the glass, into the staff, back quarters. Nothing. I think that someone's died or something. Honestly, I did. I mean, I don't know.

I don't think that. But at the same time, if you're going to be away from the desk for a bit, try and either close the shop up, if you're gagging for a poo, maybe just say hello, ladies and gentlemen, I've got to go poo, so I'm closing the shop up for ten minutes. You wouldn't do that, because people would be outraged. Well, no, honestly, it's a charity shop. I mean, you wouldn't, but people be, don't say that.

Take a poo. How disgusting. Maybe I'd say... Oh, you... You do a poo. You mustn't say that. No one does a poo, especially not my mother. I would say, everyone out.

It's shit in time. And then I'd take a microphone in with me and record the whole dropage. Nah, I wouldn't. My secret. You took a shit. I'm proud of you. What, in that toilet?

Yeah. Now, I have got a hang-up about... Shitting. Yes, of course. I mean, a lot of people do. People, for example, it's a cliche, but people don't like to... you know, have to take a ship when they're out.

A lot of people do. I mean, people, and famously, Kenneth Williams, you weren't allowed to take a ship if you went around to his flat. I mean, that's terrible. It's uncalled for. Parochial burial grounds.

That's all right, isn't it? Here we are, look, there's a little bit... Casual. Oh, and you know what, I have been here, actually, it's all coming back to me now. Because I think I used to come here for a smoke every now and then to get out of the house. That's exactly what we're doing.

It is actually. Mill Road Cemetery, the history of the cemetery. By the early 19th century, the churchyards of Cambridge were full. It's the same old story with these places, isn't it? Same old story, mate. That's full and could not be extended in the built-up city centre. That's exactly what happened in London, isn't it?

Yeah. I know it means... Like community, small-minded, but it's come to mean sort of small-minded. It can mean, yeah. But it always comes from, I think, the idea of small village. It's like... A parish, I think, isn't it?

Something like that. Parochial. Paratial. Anyway, what to look out for? Likens and Moss. St. Mary the Less. Who are these saints? I don't know, but they're saints.

What does it say about the saints? Ratti family. That's Rowland Rats. Yes, it is. Moyles family. Chris Moore's Radio One DJ. Lawrence family, as in JD Lawrence. So that...

Anyway, you can look for lichens and moss on the headstones and grave surrounds, native butterflies, the great spotted woodpecker, plants, primrose, ivy, broom rape. I've never heard of broom rape before. Violets, primrose, elders and black grease. Oh, it's a type of plant? He's dying on this city road map. Well, luckily, we're in a graveyard. So we have a sit-down somewhere?

Yeah, we have a little walk around, sit down and get back to it but mate we still got shopping to do i know we can't dawdle too much well we've got ours what's that of a town to the north of it eliz i i opened the christmas lights in ely once did you yeah because my radio station was helping fund it so military gray all right h f h gigginy giggedy giggedy giggie yeah i knew you were gonna do that as well jesus christ can't believe that we're most being well dad joke today aren't we yeah This is a lovely cemetery. It has to be said.

Very nice. It's very overgrown and spooky. It's like there's little pathways all over the place. Like the contrast. It's similar to Highgate. The contrast between the Victorian gravestones and the modernist building from the 60s behind it, you know? Right up against it.

Built right up against the original wall, which is crazy, isn't it? Well, they didn't have room, did they? No. Still, some of these vaults. I mean, Take some pictures, Eli. Take some pictures.

Good. And let's find a place to sit down. This is nice. It's funny, isn't it, though? Spent years here. Didn't really look about the place. Because, to be fair, I was getting up to Crack of Dawn, doing a breakfast show for Cambridge BBC.

And coming home and then doing podcast stuff and being largely depressed. But I'm always largely depressed, so it makes no fucking odds, does it? It's a bench here full of shit. Clutter and mess. I'm not going to sit near. of that I can't be dealing with it oh but uh take a few pictures of this I think it's a very spooky graveyard where's he he always does this dawdling pixie

so as I said this is a two-part episode I don't know where the split's gonna be depends on the content but yeah no it's lovely around here really in it yeah here's a bench and I sit my ass on this bench in Mill Road Cemetery. Yeah, you know what, it's kind of sad that I never took up the chance to come here more often when I was lived here. You were working quite hard at the time, weren't you? I'm working quite hard now. Yeah.

I don't get to see much of London now, part of when we do the fucking podcast. This is good. Yeah. So should we just chill for a bit, have a smoke? Yes. And then crack on, because we've still got some town centre stuff to do. Absolutely. I'm not for it, Paul.

This might be an episode where I don't split it right at the Tats. trail sign off. I might see if it rolls over to next week. No one needs to know this. It's just so people know. You always say when people don't need to know what stuff I'm saying. Yeah, because you're boring. I'm not boring. I am not boring. I'm not a boring person. I'm not a boring person. All right. Well, okay, let me just say this differently then. You make interesting things boring when you talk out loud. I don't. When I talk out loud. What other kind of talking is there? I don't want to get into a fight about this. Voicing your head. Talking. You have that. You have that. you have too much of that yeah i'm having a row right now yeah exactly all right now we're going to

taste something later oh yeah what's going to taste later bbq fried dough is it barbecue dough it says bbq fried dough oh it's savory yeah this is fried dough everyone by a company called yin um it's that makes sense because i've had i've encountered fried dough before in chung fun which is like these big rice noodles which they sort of stuff you can put prawns in or or a row have you had that stuff? I have had that stuff.

You know the big thing, yeah, a veggie one. But they do one with crispy dough in which is like, it's one of those dishes where they tell you like always test that if you're going to a new Chinese restaurant because if they do that good it sort of is it's like you know. Then you don't get shit from over than else you eat. Yeah, or whatever.

That's good point. Also, just for myself. Eli's been to a few charity, not charity, Chinese supermarkets. Spicy peanuts. With the little bits of Seshwan Peck. These are great, man. We'll have some on the train.

We'll have some of those on the train. And a few bits and bobs now. What have we got coming up on the show? Well, I mean, over the course... Have you done all of your tat from the tat hunt? Have you got everything? I've got a chunk, but there's a few more charity shops once we get into the town centre.

So we need to... I need to find one or two more items. Just to let you know. I'm doing all right. Put it one way. I'm confident. I haven't got anything that's musically astounded me in terms of buying

a record. Me too. Me too. There was a Top of the Pops hit, single, not a Top of the Pops covers Best Off collection, but like an actual BBC top of the pops album. With actual tracks on? Yeah. Like the original artist's tracks, yeah. But all those tracks were shit bar one

Dr. Hook track, R-IP, Dr. Hook Man. Oh, he died the other day, didn't he? Yeah. They were big, but they're nothing. I think their reign of terror was over by the beginning of the 80s, wasn't it? Yeah. But they were big for a while. No, they were huge.

It's infamously that clip that Stuart Millard has on his channel where they appeared on Saturday Superstore. And what's funny is the lead singer of Dr. Hook's on there having a chat with Mike Reed and trying to be interesting when Mike Reed's being awful. He's a terrible guy. Yeah. You don't mean the Cockney, Mike Reed. He was awful in a different way. No, this is a different awful Mike Reed.

Mike Reed, the Cockney guy, was a pretty good actor and also... Driffy. He was just... He had some charm. He had a cockney, which means he had his own problems. Right, so you've made me lose my point now. What was I talking about? Mike Reed.

The guy I have. Talk to Feel Good. In that clip, which you can see on Stuart Millard's channel about Saturday Superstore, this kid talks to him. And then he's like, oh, I like it. And he goes, oh, yeah, did you want to talk to me? He goes, no, my mum put me on. And then goes, is your mum there?

And the mum's like, oh, yes. Do you meet people after the show? Oh, my God. And he's like, yeah, we do. He goes, oh, maybe I can meet you after the show. You're coming to Oxford, aren't you? I'll be there. I'll be there.

And he's like, yeah, okay. Because that, and she's like, you could tell that mother had sopping knickers on a Saturday morning. Saturday sop a store more like for her, wasn't it? Saturday soping knickers store. Oh, we have a lot. But you just know that that morning it was like, Dr. Hook, Mr. Hook, Dr. Hook, Dr. Hook,

you call them up for your mum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you speak to Mike Reed. And he's obviously like, and this kid's been like, I don't know who Dr. Hook is. Yeah. No, they were sort of, I think they were kind of marketed as, housewives, you know, a bit of a bit of a bit of all right.

No. What was their biggest hit? Like when you're in love with a beautiful woman? I think that was there. Yes. When you're in love with a beautiful woman. I think that's Dr. Hook. It's starting to rain. All right, well let's not smoke. I'm just going to look up Dr. Hook because I just want to look this up. Dr. Hook's hit. They had more than one. They were big for a while. I know, but let's go with one. You're 16 they did as well. or something. Sylvia's mother, when you're in love with a beautiful woman,

yeah, that is theirs. Yeah, thank you. What is Dr. Hook's most famous song? Sharing the Night Together. Weird. And then Love with the Beautiful Woman. Sylvia's mother was their breakthrough million selling first hit.

Ah, and what's that about? And only 16. Only 16, I knew it. Yeah, see? Because you just see... You were only 16, only 16. But let's not sing about... It was legal in Britain at the time.

Or if you go to the Isle of Wine. What's the age now? It's still 16 in this country. I don't know. It is. No, I don't. I don't know. Does seem like you're asking for a friend. That's all I'm saying.

Right, okay, let's chill out. Get my mum on. Right, let's take a break. Okay. Right, and that's Tat Hunt Part 1. Tat Hunt part one is done. Join us next week for part two. Part 2 of Tat Hunt part 2.

Came bro, Canbro, Tatto! Will we achieve our remit? get the best garbage. Will Ely find the building? Will our train get cancelled? Oh, spoilers. I mean, spoilers, but it doesn't matter. Please know. Please enjoy. See you next week. Bye.

Love you. Don't say that. Love you. See you next week.