CheapShow - Ep 491: FIFA Fo Fum

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

(Special Guest Ash Frith) On this week’s VERY special episode of CheapShow, Paul and Eli tackle something they are not particularly comfortable talking about, nor do they have a lot of knowledge on this subject… Football! But why are they even tackling this topic, is it because of the 2026 World Cup taking place in the USA? Why, yes. It is. They’re cynically chasing a trend, but in CheapShow’s own particular way. Luckily, they have a helping hand to guide them through, as the original fair-weather co-host, Ash Frith, joins the show after a LONG absence. Over the next 90 minutes (including injury time), the thrifty threesome will explore the cult of football fandom, taste some World Cup inspired snacks, investigate the history of World Cup mascots and try to decipher the 1982 England Football Team World Cup Celebration album. Yes. A football team released a load of songs. How does it go? Well, you’ll find out in this week’s soccerific edition of the economy comedy podcast! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-491-fifa-fo-fum GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

My name's Ash. Hey! Ash Frith. Ash Frith. Ash Frith. Ash Frith. Ooy, ooy, ooy, o'oy. This is like every gig I ever do.

Is it? Yeah. That's how it goes. That's what you want you to feel like you're at home. Sweet. Carolina. Why is that? That's stolen for an American thing.

That was an American stadium chant that got adopted by a Brits. It's a song, man. It's a song. It's a catchy song. It's a catchy song. A bit we can go, do it, do it. Because my team has been doing well, there's been a lot of jovial music at the moment.

Yeah. But there's this, you know that one that goes, do, do, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, do. Do you know that one? No. I don't know what that song is, but it's got, it just goes, da, da, da, da, da, and there's people going, da, dancing around.

I'm like, what's going on? No, we don't like it. It wasn't that long ago. Like, if you go back to Brit Pop. Yeah. And sort of the aftermath, the indie. Vindaloo. That kind of thing.

Findaloo la la. Pop songs were kind of created in order to become chance, right? Yeah, that's an extent. Casabian and stuff. And did you ever hear the Stone Rose's comeback single? No. Of a few years back.

Was that sort of chanting? Yeah. Really? Ooi. They released it. They went out of Stone Rose's new single. They released it. Everyone was like, oh, let's forget that happens.

It's terrible. Really? Anyone want to hear the Rolling Stones one? Yeah. That sucked as well. Everything's shit now. At least football's good now. Is it going to be good?

Shut up. Listen, ladies and gentlemen, it's a cheap show. And after a long, long wait and after multiple, multiple emails asking, he's back. Ladies and gentlemen, the original Fairweather co-host Ashford is back.

I have been emailing a lot. I've been emailing begging to be back. Begging. And then there was a little... I've got an email right. Here, I'll read it out to you. There was a little snafu. Listen to this.

With my scheduling last time, I have to apologise for that. Ash, sorry. Dear Paul, this is from Ash, he said this last week. Dear Paul, it would bring me the utmost pleasure to rejoin the cheap show gang and record with you again. Please, please, the podcast that I do with my mate's awful, and I hate doing it, and I hate him. And I'd much rather be with you and Eli.

Also, I think I love Eli now. Every time I see him, I get excited in my pants, blah, blah, blah, blah, sticky. Blah, blah. I'm on my mum, does he say biscuits in there or Bing bong? Is it? Does he say Bing Bong? He signs off by saying Bing Bong Biscuits.

Sounds like his voice. I stand by all of that. I didn't get AI to write that either. That was a difference. And I do love you both. Yeah. There's great for you. And it's nice.

And we thought, I don't know why. Great to see you, Ash. We thought we time a podcast to be with something relevant in pop culture. And the World Cup's happening. So even though I know nothing about football. Do I enjoy it? We're talking about it. You normally get me on around Eurovision time.

This is a blessed change. This is a chain, isn't it? So that means you get to say, oh, actually I know about football. Well, let's not go that far. I like football. Yeah. And I invest almost all of my life and personality into it. Which, you know, is a lot.

Dear. Yeah, I used to play it. I was a striker. You've both been talking about football. Someone else that doesn't know it. I didn't have been talking about it. I used to play football. I used to play football at school.

At school, I was a striker. Right, good. How many goals did you score, Eli? Did Mr. Goodall go, I did this thing where I beat the defender with a, you know, a little one-touch thing and then scored. That was a lovely touch, she said to me. Some of the best moments of my life. Who let that gorilla on the pitch? Or that magical gorilla who can play football?

Magical gorilla. Is that really what you're going to go with? Yeah, all right. Chimp. Ugly, fat chimp playing football like a concert. That's all he's got. He's only got attack. He's all the can.

He's such a cunt. Listen, hello, everyone. Welcome to the Cheap Show. Mr Goodall's dead now. Yeah? Good. Good. He's dead.

Goodal's good. He's dead. Anyway. Anyway, Ash, how are you doing? We had one of them. They were always sports teachers, wouldn't they? You don't actually, Ash, you might want to cut this out. Hello, welcome to the cheap show.

I've had to cut all that up. I have to cut all of it out. You don't. As you said, cut this out. And then the last two minutes has been nothing but it. So I have to cut it out. Anyway, welcome to Cheap Show.

No, it's fine. He's doing his glasses. What's the guy? What's going on the glasses? But the glasses give me a nice comedy crutch now, don't they? I can see why Morecam did it. Did you not always have glasses? No.

They're not, I'm looking into your eye. They're not thick glasses. One of them is. That one used to be that thick when I was a kid. But now because of a good. glass technology. Glass tech. It doesn't need to be as

thick as it used to be. They look thinned. It looks like they're pro-glarses. But if you look closely, you can see that his left eye... Left eye blind. His left eye is more magnified. See what?

Watch this. Watch my eyes. Right. Watch my eyes. Watch this eye. Right. Ready. Watch this eye.

Oh, wow. No, no. He's got a slow eye. I don't want to see it. You watch my eye right now. Oh, you got a slow eye. Oh, it's crazy. Slow.

Yeah. It's got like a... It's got like a... It is literally a lazy eye. You're literally lazy eye blind. And it's just like, I'm going to get there in my own time. I'm in all Russian. Now, it's the World Cup, but your home team, not home team, your league team,

the team you support has recently won the league. They won the league. It was so good. And Paul lives in an Arsenal house. You know Arsenal started in Woolwich, Paul. Did you know that? Yes. No, okay.

Yeah. Arsenal Woolwich is nowhere near where the Arsenal Stadium is. And they had to call the station after it, it used to be called Gillespie Road. Yes. Wow, look at you two, guys. You can still see... It's just around the corner from where I live.

The old... I live in Arsenal country. Yes, yeah, because I've come... I was trying to get home that night. We'd been in Cambridge. I bet that was amazing. And I had to get home, and I was on a bus, the 29, going... Oh.

From Camden, across the Holy Road... You live right near the stadium. I drive past your house to go to go. It was impassable. Everyone was honking and screaming. I had to get off the bus and literally skirt all the way up to... Tuffinal Park. Everyone's screaming, honking. It was going crazy.

I have, I think, done the podcast at yours and then gone to a game. It is like 10 minutes away. Yeah. It's only around the corner. Yeah. But yeah, we were coming back from Cambridge when it was basically a foregone conclusion. I wanted to get home. I had to get off the bus. There was suddenly because we won it. But yeah, then I went to Budapest last Saturday and went to watch Champions League fun on, which we'd lost, but it was still great. It was a nice holiday, wasn't it? I went to the PSG game. Yeah. Because I was then, I had gigs abroad. And so when I'd book the gigs abroad before the Champions League final happened, and the gigs abroad, you know, that's how you pay the mortgage and stuff.

So my wife was like, well, obviously you're not going to get to go to Budapest, which is a shame. And then I found there were flights the club were doing out and in. You know, you could go in, like I left. Like a package holiday kind of thing. Four o'clock in the morning on the day of the game. And I flew out at 10 to 1 that evening. So you're not even spending any time, really. No, no, no, I went to like a fan park, went to the stadium,

watched the game, went, got on a plane for home. Oh, my gosh. But then at 10 o'clock next morning, so I got in a 5.50, I then had to leave at 10 to go to Southampton to go and get on a cruise. Oh, wow. To do shows. It was stupid. That is crazy.

You must have been exhausted. He must have been exhausted. I was also out in Crouch End on the night of the PSG game. Oh, really? And I was like, for selfish reasons, I was relieved that they didn't be available. But there were still 100,000 people around the stadium. I know, but think about this, right?

You don't want to have all this problem getting home again, right, if you're selfish, because there's loads of Arsenal fans celebrating. You specifically now. And you also don't want them rioting because they lost. If you think about it, they've already won the league. And so it's not as that bad. No, it was a proper calm. And also, when they lost that PSG game, it was almost zen.

It was their proper calm because it was like we'd already had our big success. Arsenal fans haven't got the riot in them. I don't think there. It is a little bit... It was all very good nature, I have to say. But I still found it as any arrests or anything. They had 200,000 people on the street. People were stabbed at the parade.

Oh, really? Yeah. There were six people stabbed at the parade. How much? Six people stabbed in separate incidents at the parade. For why? For like gang stuff. Gang stuff? That's weird, isn't it?

Finnsbury Park, right? Where everyone goes to go to the Arsenal Stadium. I was about to tell a really lovely funny story. I want to hear it. You know people got knifed, right? You know people got knifed. You know people got knifed. Paul.

Ben, that's more of a poor, isn't it? I'm going to piss on this story by saying, you know, people got knife. Why you do that be a glass? Why is that a new thing? He does he constantly, does it? Why are you doing it when you're doing an impression of me? I don't know. He doesn't have a glasses.

He's doing a northern accent. I'm doing a northern accent. It makes more sense, doesn't it? You got like that. You know what I mean? He's wagging. He's glass. I'm just saying Finnsbury Park is rough.

That's the one of says. He's a bit stabby anyway. Yes. And I think you fill it with 200,000 people. The stabs are going to go up. And back in the day, Finnery Park was a proper epicentre of, like, nasty, well, criminality. Yeah.

All the firms are up there. And now it's got like park run and stuff. Oh, yeah. And the festival thing they do, everyone's at the Blue Moon. For the young folk to boogie to the tunes. What was your story, Paul? Yeah, your stories. Well, my story was just about my partner going to see the parade because, you know, excited.

Because, as you say, it's been 22 years since they won basically anything of note. Yeah. So she goes down. She goes, it's thronging. It's just, it's just... She goes down to the story. Go on. All right.

Hi-five. No. No. That's what you call a comedy instinct honed by years on the circle. He wasn't going to let that run. And he found it. Yes. I'm proud of you.

Wrong. Yeah. My girlfriend went down and all the dicks. Because she was... She was throwing the cocks. It was dripping with throng juice. She was on the bus tossing off the fucking team. Where's his car?

I'm filling their seed onto the open, eager mouths of the Arsenal massive, waiting to guzzle down Arsenal pearls. Happy? Happy? I'm never. She basically said she got, she tried to get for all these people, hundreds of thousands of people to see the bus.

And then when it did come by, some dickhead lit a flare thing right in front and caused all this smoke. So no one saw it in the results. I saw some of that on social media. A lot of people saying, I didn't see shit because of all the flares. She said a fat man fell out of a tree next to her. Good.

I mean, that's good. That might just a bit of Finsbury Park thing. Yeah, yeah, it could have been. Oh, I'm so pleased that your partner is an Aster fan. I'm not. You know what I had to do to prove my love? I went into a shop that sold sports things, and I bought her an Arsenal shirt. I was with you. Oh, what, good guy.

It was a second-hand store. It wasn't like... That's okay. Yeah, because it was only, what, 20-odd quid I got it for, but when I took it home, she goes, if it's a knock-off, it's a good one, because it looks like the modern shirt. It's got, what's his name, Bepe on the back? What's the name of the player? I think it was Beppe.

I think Beppe was for me, Stendon. And Bepe's a French player. Zeke. Eze. Eze. Eze, yeah. He's the name like that.

Ezee? Is he Eze? Eze? Eze. Eze? Eze. Eze? Ere.

He's in his glasses again. I'm going to mention the glasses every time you know it. He's doing it again. I'm going to take him off. Who are I? He can't see. What we got coming up in the show? That's enough preample.

We are doing a World Cup special. Now, I want to run this past Ash Ash before we go any further because I've already thought of this week's episode You're going to need to stop touching your glasses. So now I've noticed it, man. You just did it again, man. Anyway, Ash, I want to take it. Eli.

Oh, yeah, sorry, Eli. Ash, right, here's the title for this week's episode. If you like it, I'm going to use it. If you don't, we'll call it something else. Right. I want to call it FIFA faux-fum. Good, really good. Thank you.

All right, it's staying in. Doesn't have to be a funny title. That's good. FIFA is the World Cup organises, right? Yeah. Corrupt. And they are a foul. Morally scum, human beings.

Yeah, and that's where it is this year in the United States of... Yeah, they've already stopped, you know, referees and players coming. Yeah, well, they've got Iran qualified, and they've struggled to get in. The players have struggled to get in, their staff have struggled to get in. Do you think they'll play straight up the middle, Iran? I don't know. It's a football joke about straight of Shirazal. Straight up.

Oh, yeah, they're not letting anyone in. Straight of all those up the middle. That's good. That's good. They won't let anyone up the channel. The channels is a football term. Yeah, that is a football term. Yeah, that is a joke there, but we have not written that joke as of yet.

Iran, very good at stopping people going in the channels. Yeah, something like that. You know, you could have that. Yeah, I don't know what I'll do with it, but... This joke might arrive soon, much like the promised ceasefire. Lovely. Yes. A little bit of politics there, ladies around.

He's stasks in. I'm doing better now. Those who are allowed. He did that as well. He did. Oh, my gosh. A little bit of politics, ladies'german. Thatcher.

Fatcher, unions. A bit of politics. Benny Hill. Benny Hill, ladies gentlemen. It's all set up for a rocky style Iran versus the US. Yeah. And what a story. They beat the US.

Yeah. They are similar levels sort of ranking wise, aren't they? I don't know. Wait, what? Can I put a break and get on with the episode? No, this seems like it's... What? They're going to have to play in Mexico, Iran.

Yeah. Because there are games in Mexico as well as in the US. Look at their own World Cup once. 86. That's my first World Cup. That's the hand of God. That's my favourite. Yeah.

Well, is it my favourite? No. But it's the first one I remember. What's your favourite? It's difficult. Italy 9. I really enjoyed. That's the first time.

Like 86, I was aware of. 90, I loved football. That was the year of, like, Gary, that's the year, Gary Glitter. Gary Licka and stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, 90. Gary Linnaker shit himself on the pitch, actually, and then...

What was the Brazil one? Where we all had to get up at six in the morning to go and watch the matches. Yeah, that was the one where... 2007. I want to say six, if that was the year. 2006, you're right, because I went down to Clarkinwell

at, like, like, really early in the morning. So did I. So did I. Clark and well? So did I. You said clackenwell? No, he didn't. Or clucking well?

Maybe I did. You said. No, da, there, da, there. That thing is clagin. I went to Clark and Wales. Okay. I went to say it again. We were watching the same place.

We went to the same place. Yeah, that was, um, because I was working in the city and they opened that up early. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we were, we were to go and be a little bit late for work. And that's the one with it. David Seaman was beaten by that huge field shot, right? Twice he got done by that in his career. Shame really.

We were in the same place watching that game. Possibly. Well, there you go. What a lovely Forrest Gump-esque moment that must have been. I wasn't there, so it's not a good story. Should we do? Put the break in then. Let's put the break in and we're going to get into the World Cup theme content.

Here we go. Ash is going to kick off proceedings. We're going to do the World Cup Cheap Show anthem. Eli, please. Cheap show Cheap show Cheap show and the World Cup

The World Cup The World Cup That's what I got That is quite emotional actually I've got a tear Just not out of my eye I don't I mean I've got a tear in my arsehole

It's a pun It's a pun and it's very much on point for Cheap Show Bums, Willis and Blood out your assum What have you got for us to kick off this world? Cup special of Cheap Show. The one and only one will ever do. Cheap Show! So, there's two things that really stick out.

Oh, my ass out. Oh, my piles. Oh, bloody piled. There's the sticker books, obviously. Yeah, Panini. Panini. And so I did them for so long. Here we goes.

You did the Panini. I did the movie Panini. I can remember doing that. All right, well, thanks. But I wouldn't talk about the movie once. I just want to say, Eli, just went to go his tea. Put it behind him and now bode it out of her. Eat stuff.

Don't mock me. Red, yellow card. Yellow card. I've got no napkins. I've got some. I love that you went and got it and then just in stu. You got a napkin. It's only a little spill.

Unbilly. And you've ruined his anecdote. So let them just tell a story. No one gets to shit that you've got the fucking thundercat Panini. All right. No one. It was the ET one. It was the ET Panini.

Yeah. Oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah. But you used to do them. Did you? So 86 I started. I did nine.

but now it costs 550 quid to, if you got 100% of the stickers in one go, no swapsies, it costs you 550 quid. Who's achieving that at all? It's impossible. No, rich children. I will say, and this doesn't reflect well on me, and I don't say that anyone should do this,

but a few World Cups ago, when I was a younger man, what I did was just nicked stickers from each shops. I would go in, get my meal deal, and a handful of stickers. It would steal them. Yeah, I would steal them. Shoplisher discount.

I wouldn't do that now. No. No. Because you'll get caught. Because you'd get caught. And you're an adult. And you're an adult. They've got all weird ones now.

Yeah, that's probably that I've put it. Yeah. But I heard some kind of thing that they're going to stop doing it. Panini have made a... Their license runs out in like two years and then they're going to stop doing it. It's so expensive. It's so stupid. I can't imagine anyone doing it.

It doesn't feel affordable. You're right. Because I remember, I mean, even me... Imagine 500 quit. Who's got 500 quid spent on stickers? I think even I had the Mexico 86 annual Benini thing. You probably could have finished it in like 30 quid or something. Well, I do know I got a load of them filled out.

I didn't complete it. But also at school you could swap with friends and now you're an adult. Imagine going up to someone who's doing stickers. They'd be like, no, let me alone. And then they're just phoning child line. It's to do with the economy and it's to do with the print media being moving into the more bespoke arena. Because if you want to like print a magazine, they're all high end now. I wonder whether it'll be an digital sticker out.

There's no mass printed media. You could do it digitally. Yeah. It wouldn't be the same, is it? What would you get an NFT? Like a pack of NFTs? It'd have to be basically that. They call them cosmetics in most gaming circles, don't it?

It's that kind of shit. You'd get a skin for your avatar. And you heard that term, yes. But so the thing that does resonate with me, that used to, it went away. Get out. The football mascot. Every World Cup's in tonight. 66 has had a mascot.

Since what year? Sorry, 66. When England won it. So they had, were they the only country to have one? Or was it just like the... It's like the World Cup mascot. Oh, okay, got it, got it, got it. So not each team. I mean, the World Cup itself will have a little character that represents it.

Yes. And he's got a funny, stupid, funny name, don't they? That booby or something. So World Cup Willie is the first one. I'm going to show you World Cup Willie. From 66? Yeah, I want to get your opinion on them because I have a favorite and there are some classics. Right.

Okay, cool. But you're coming in cold. So you're coming in cold. You might look at the classics and go, and when I say classics, I don't mean old classic. I mean, there's some personal where you just go, oh, that one is great.

Yeah. I'm sure there will be some I'll go, oh yeah, that one. Yeah. But, yeah, so. Let's see, Willie. Was he a Lion? This is he a Lion.

Yeah. I remember. Yeah, because he said earlier in the kitchen when we were talking. Oh, come on. But anyway, he's a lion. And I like it. Angular.

This is because it was held in Britain. Yeah. And Britain's famous for Lions. I see. And Willys. And Willys. I find. the design a little lifeless as if he was a soft toy

with what being depicted. It is quite a 60s. Like that looks a bit Hannibal Barbera cartoony, which is over time. I think it's fine. I think for a starting mascot, solid. Yeah. I mean, he is of his time. But he's wearing, have you noticed what he's wearing?

Well, he's got a union jack shirt on. But who's he represent it? Well, yeah, because it's England, isn't it? But this is the fucking weird thing about our nation, right? And it's causing problems with. Literally, touch of glasses. Isn't it now? Because it's like we are this weird thing,

which is like a one country but four nations, whatever, yeah. Very bizarre. So it's where in a union flag. In the 66 World Cup, did they just take place in and around London or like there was a Manchester gig or a... And we'll insert the answer. Yeah.

The answer is. It would have been all over. Yeah, I think they did play all over. So obviously you have to end at Wembley, obviously. Yeah, that's what they did. But I was just wondering, did they use the Arsenal ground,

or did they use? Yeah, I don't know what grounds they used, but it would have been... In fact, you say it ended at Wembley, I mean, there was a false end where they said they think it's all over. And then it is shortly afterwards. Hey!

Hey! No. So then 1970 was the first time Mexico hosted the World Cup. And... It's racist. Yeah. Are you going to give us the name?

And then we'll guess what it might look like. Cicho. Gionito. Oh, I bet it looks like... Juanito. Juanito. Juanito. I bet it's got a great big sombrero.

Yes. Right. Sombrero. And maybe it just basically looks like a speedy Gonzalez. Well, they, I mean, they held off a little bit with Juanita. He has a sombrero. He has a sombrero. He's a boy played with a football and a sombrero.

It's a very white boy, isn't it? Yes. But the It's little, does it? He means little. Yeah. So he's little, little Juan. Little Juan. You've got a little one.

You've got a little one. Yeah. Hey? He's done his glasses, everyone. Can I just say? At least he's awake at that picture. I need to. Yeah, that's true.

I need to interject here. Go on. Come on. My penis is good for the, it's in proportion for the rest of me. It's good. So small. So just safe on those.

Still be on, still be legs, still be arms, still be no being. I do a joke about my penis size in my set. And then the other day, a woman come up to him and went, So you do that joke

Is it as disappointed as you say in the story? I was like, yeah? Like what? Imagine if I went, nah, massive, mate. Got me. Let me show you the truth. I think she was flirting there. No, no.

Well, she was maybe... Definitely flirting. 80? Oh, okay. Flirting as... Definitely. Dirty, rancid, dirty. They were trying to moisten the leaves.

There were some swingers. Sprits the leaves in autumn. How about you could solve the mystery with my house of leaves? There was, So, like, they just feel like... Oh, my house of leaves, he's flooded. It's bigger on the inside than the out.

There's a literary gag for you. Right, sorry, go on. Juanito's belly is out. Yeah. A little bit of belly. It's a little bit of belly. He's like, he's not asleep. No.

He's not being depicted in a racial role. I think that's just again to emphasize his youthfulness. Yeah, yeah, he's got a little kid's belly. Again, I don't love that design. It's a little bit messy. It's a little bit messy. Hey, look, yeah. He's not.

He's played for Italy. Oh, he didn't play for Argentina. Argentina. It was really good try. Yeah. You really used to quit. Edit point. I think you play for Argentina.

So then the World Cup in 74 Nice. Was in West Germany. Okay. Four-time winners. Yeah. But West Germany, 74. Well, it's Germany now.

It's still a divided nation. Yes. It's sort of freshly accepted back on. They were still kind of the baddies, weren't they? There was the adjustment of expectation, and it was like how they were reframing how they appeared on the European scene. right.

So they're very often the favourites, aren't they? Top-seeded, as it were, going into it. Yeah, yeah. They're not really... The same force they used to. They're certainly not that,

but they're not hated anymore like they used to. In fact, they're quite cool. So it's kind of like... Well, it's an attractive form of the game that they play, isn't it? Possibly. I don't know.

I don't know what I mean by that. Do you mean you get turned on when you see... No, it's like the way that they do their team, the way the teams are managed. You like their teamwork, yeah. It looks good. Yes, and then I wank off to it,

Thank you. I watch men running around. Don't have to be football. Just men running around in shorts. This guy's going to tip and tap. It's the first time there's a double act. It would have been nice if it could have been... Is this one year?

74. It would have been nice if they could have had East and West Germany together. Why their belly showing? They're rubble. Yeah, that's the next one. Everyone's got their belly show. So it's a little dark-haired guy and an adorable. It's terrible.

It's the same as the other, but without a sombrero. It looks like the same artist drew it as the other two. Maybe he did. Yeah. They did. Maybe someone knocked a load of these out in one evening. You can spread that out over two decades. They are rubbish, aren't they?

Utter rubbish. They are utter rubbish. We're so far. Right. We've got two decades of these to get through, right? Yeah, okay, yeah. So this is 1974, this is 1978, not 974, is Gauchito. Okay.

You're already right. Oh, yeah. It's the same person's designed all these years. Like, that is rubbish. That is Juanito from a different angle in different clothes. Yeah, Juanito. He's got his shirt tucked in. Yeah, and this guy's Argentinian.

He's got a little neckerchief. Yeah. And also. Goucho is like a steak. Oh, really? Is it little steak? Ah, ah. Yeah.

There you go, that's true. Little steak. And also, it's like that. It's like a little soft guy, didn't it? It's got a tail of some description. I don't know what that is. Also, one of the forgotten Marx brothers. Goucho Marx.

Yeah. Argentino, uh, thank you. Oh. I like that one, but it looks more like the logo of Harabo than it does a football mascot. Right. Now we move on to a football mascot.

Right. Now we move on to 82. Get it. I'm saying this is the modern game. Which, by the way, we'll be coming back to 82 a little bit later. Really nice. One of the best England kits. This is a Narangito.

What country is this old? Little orange. Yes, Eli. So is it literally an orange? Yes. Oh, you see, I don't mind that. Much better. Much better.

What is it? Did your dad not give you enough love when you were younger? Because all I get from you is like, look how right I am. Look at me. I'm correct. It's weird. Maybe give him. Credit then.

Maybe see if you could A little bit of kindness would go a long way. Don't you fucking dare. Maybe if that's what you need. Once a while. Once every while, maybe give him what he needs.

You don't know how easy it is to take your name off the guest list for 500. This is my favourite so far as well. But you say guest list? Do you mean as a 10D or as a... It could become a guest list situation. This is my favourite one so far as well.

I like you as well. They're famous for their oranges. And I can see that being like a costume that's someone wears on the picture and goes, oh, I'm a big orange. That's really interesting that you say that. Really interesting because that is a big part of what's coming. Also, I need to make a point of factual here as well.

Do you know how sports mascots started? No, they were. They were children. Often homeless, destitute children who would be in the stands or whatever at a baseball game in America. And then because they were all superstitious as fuck, a player would say, oh, that gave me good luck because of this kid. and then they'd come and live in the clubhouse and be like these little servants.

Really? Yeah, it was really dark. Really dark. And then as soon as you start losing, they let this kid back out onto the streets and shit. That's bleak. Yeah. So they were children.

That's why they were called Etoe. They were all little lucky kids. Urchins, yeah. But that's how they actually mascot started. They weren't like animals. They weren't this abstracted thing. So this is funny because it kind of reflects the evolution of mascots as well.

So one day it was like, right, fuck off, poor kids. We're getting an orange in to do your, Well, yes, but it's just someone you pay once a week as an adult you're not exploiting totally. No, it's really dark. I heard it about on the Dollop. It was a recent Dollop episode.

But it started off in a much darker place, an actual child basically. That sounds like a podcast on its own just to talk about... Well, that was what the Dollip did. Dollop did it. That's where I got this info. But anyway, I just thought I'd mention it. Right, go on next.

So next, we get on to our maybe favourite World Cup or our Enlightenment to World Cup. 86. Mexico. Mexico. This is P.K. Now, times have changed in Mexico. Another racist one.

Yeah, this isn't a human again, so you'll be, you'll enjoy this. He is a green chili. Oh, with a sombrero. With a sombrero and big mustache. I do remember that as well, though. That's a better kind of, it's a better design. Yeah, yeah. It's so much of a better design, but it is based more on stereotypes than the previous.

It's got hot food and the sombrero. Yeah, yeah. And, but. Piquet means like hot, as in. I loved him. Spicent. Spicely. I remember him vividly. He was on front of everything. This is where it started the real push on these guys are the face of the World Cup going from this point. It was like the World Cup stuff was sold on this guy. This World Cup was coming out. I don't know. It's not all being sold on. But this, there was toys for him. He was in Kinder eggs.

He was on the grid. It was everywhere. So then, Chow in Italy 90. At least it wasn't China China ever hosted They haven't No but I want to show you chow Okay Oh I remember chow Oh chow's cool

Because I remember Italy vividly Oh chau as in chau bella Yeah I think get the fuck out Does chau mean hello and goodbye I think chow It's slang for food though To C-H-O-W isn't it

Yeah That's also true That's one of those But his head is a football He has no He has no features No It looks like the cryptofactor logo

His body is made up of Italian flags. He's arms like his body's made like a rubic snake. A tricolare, isn't it? The tricoloree.

Six or seven Italian flags mashed into a human. Looks like a rubic snake, everyone. Yes. Well done. You've said that a couple of times now. Now we've heard it. Do you want to move on?

All right, moving on. So then, 1994. I will say this. For the iconography of Italy was burnt into my head as well. Because I remember the pinini for that was like a de interlaced globe with the Jules Ramay in the middle.

It had loads, like graphics and stuff on the screen were really coming into their own. So it was like all over. Everything was spinning. Yeah, they were all very 80s and pastily. Then this World Cup I was on holiday for and I watched 2 o'clock in the morning, very similar to what's coming up this time. Oh, yeah. This was USA 94.

When USA didn't have soccer. No. Oh, did USA have it in 94? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were one of the, weren't they like out of it in the first game or something? Yeah, they weren't great. No. They were really bad.

They didn't have. in league at this point. Are they going to be better this year? It was more popular. It was more popular with girls. Yeah. Yeah. He's got the soccer mums.

So, I mean, I'm talking literally about players. Yeah, yeah. It's more popular with girls. And their girls team are one of the best. But that's why you say that's what a soccer mom is. No, soccer mom is a mother who's really like, whose daughter plays for the team.

No, it's not daughter. It's like overprotective mothers is soccer mom stereotype. But so these were really, they were poor. This is the famous when Diana Ross missed. Do you remember that? She missed. the open goal and the goal exploded. No, I remember that, yeah.

So that was very famous. It was like the worst ever chuckle vision episode. Yes. And this is Stryker, which is... Oh, he's a good character, but the name's rubbish. I don't know. He looks, he's got... He's a happy dog.

He's an action dog. Yeah. Again, it sort of harks back to the Hannibal Barbera style. Yes, but at least it has some style. What's his name? Hong Kong Fooey. Yes. It's like a little bit like that, isn't it?

He was the number one super guy. Yeah. that's to be true. I don't want to give anything away here, but I want you to see this World Cup, I quit my job in London, my first job in London, to watch every game of this World Cup.

96? 98. This is Futticks from France. It's a birdie woodpecker. He looks like Woody Woodpecker. That was a great in-Bred cousin, 98. That was a great World Cup. I remember the Dutch team were fucking incredible.

The French, is that the French one? Yeah, the French were amazing. In terms of like quality, of like match being exciting to watch that was a great that was a great one. England didn't get far in that one then I imagine.

England got knocked out was that the one where that's the one we talked about is that where David Beckham flipped his heel and got sent off and then people were saying hope he dies and stuff

oh yeah because he did one little thing that showed he might have been a bit human he was a little bit petulant there yeah now they were just jealous because he was banging posh spice I want you to get

I don't think he'd started banging her no he was knocking the pepper out of her I want you to know things take a real slide now. Oh really? What are you in now?

2002. Right. They take a real bad tour. Atto, Mick and Kaz from Korea and Japan. Okay. Okay. They're both hosted.

It's a bit blurry. Who's in the middle then? That'll be Mick. It's very... Oh, there's three of them. Yeah. Atto Mick E. Cas.

Why they... There's no... This isn't an English website you've taken this from this. No, no, no. It's fine, but they're still going to be in the native language of the names they were given. No, they are.

Purple, yellow and blue. They all use E. They all use E as the end. Yes. Which means it's all in one language. But the name is going to be largely the same still. Yeah, of course. That's why striking was still.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. I don't mind, but we're getting into that period now, which is going to come up in like the Olympics as well, where the mascots are more like obliquely designed and surreal or abstract. Yes. So like if you look at like, you know the fucking 2012 London Olympics logo, which is basically a one big cock eyeball thing with arms and legs.

There were two of them. Exactly. Yes. There was two of them. There's a female one. one and a male one. They had, what are they called? Wentworth and Menlock.

Menloop. Menloff. I love those. But they're weird. But they're weird. Some pin badges of them dressed as police. I've got some of them. But yeah, that is what happened.

So 2006, where was the World Cup in 2006? This calls it Al-Menaia. I remember it being Brazil. Brazil. Yeah, it was. Yeah, of course. That's the one we mentioned. That is the one we mentioned.

So this is controversial, this mascot. Oh. It was designed by the Henson company. As of Kermit and co. Yeah. And famous for, they anthropomorphised the football And also the character himself had a bit of a cock. A little bulge, a bowl.

He all know trousers. Yeah. And he's a lion. He looked well naked from the... But he also, his groin area had something going on. He's doing a Donald Duck. And they were saying, why have he chosen a lion? There was controversy because why did they choose a line?

He's got nothing to do with them. Yeah. So the balls attached to the lion. head. No, no, it's a separate He's his separate character. Why just stay with the ball? That seems to be enough.

But the ball, to be honest, looks like a fucking horror film character. Yeah, well, that's the hensonness of it all, isn't it? No, but Henson knew how to do like friendly, affecting faces. That's terrifying. That was a misfire from the Henson crew.

That is bad. I mean, he's long dead, so, you know. Zukimi from... Yeah, it wasn't exactly his fault, you're correct. It wasn't. It wasn't it. It wasn't it. South Africa 2010, I believe.

That was the Vuvu Zela one. The Vuvu Zala, welcome. The curse of the Vuvuzziah. Every game. Was that the one as well where one of those African teams, the guy defended the ball with his hand to stop it going in right the last minute. Do you know that game? That was Louis Suarez.

He was playing against an African team. He was playing for Uruguay. Tipped it over the crossbar. With his hand. He got sent off. They missed it. The penalty. Yeah, yeah.

So his team went through. Yeah, sport man He loves it So this, I think you're back to classic This is zucchini Oh it's a little kind of anime Steetery style I like the name

Little green hair Where are we? 2010 in South Africa I believe Zucchini sounds Like a zucchini It sounds like zucchini And it also has an anime look to it I agree with you there

There was a smell of courgettes In my flat today Right Just generally Thank you That's the kind of detail People listen to this podcast I know my life's rich

For knowing that I'm like It's just zucchini Coloured as well All green and light green I would like to eat some zucchini now. All right, well. So you got a whole day.

It was Germany 2006, sorry. Brazil 2014. I've not got a very good picture of this. You can have to look in. It's an armadillo. It's called Floulico. And it's really shit. It's this blue one here in the...

Oh, yeah. No. It looks like a rejected son of the hedgehog character. It does. He does. He does look like that. He looks all right. Brace yourself.

Brace yourself. Brace yourself. Because Russia's next. when they were our friends. Yeah. During the Cold War when they were our friends. This is 2018. They were our friends.

It's a wolf with glasses on for some reason. I'm into that. It's fine. I'm into that. It's not very, it's very generic. I'll say that thought. There's no kind of style to it. And what kind of wolf?

The wolf of communism. Hey? Is it the wolf of communism? At the door. So then we had Qatar World Cup in 2020. So that's just like, I imagine that's just like something covered in a sheet. Did that happen? It's exactly what it is.

They were, you know one of those headbands that they wear? It's a ghost. It's a ghost with a headband. No, it is the headband. It's the headcloth. The headcloth that they would wear. It's a ghost. And everyone's very ghost like to say.

It got ridiculed because everyone said it looks like a ghost. It's a ghost. But they didn't play it right. It's a pandemic. It's meant, no, they did. They played it in the summer. Yeah. So it was a real problem, though, because...

They played it in my back garden. They played it in the middle of the season. So all the players went away and played it. It was atrocious. And then this year's one, there are three. Why are there three? Because it's Canada, Mexico and America. That's so ironic at this point.

So how could it was a USA one years ago and then a Mexican one? But now it's... And this year's one... I'm just trying to engage. Are you okay, man? I know, all right. I'm not used to all this sports talk. It's making me weird.

I feel left out. Oh, come on, mate. I don't know goals. It's fine. I know the offside rulers. Right, this is this year's. Let's see. This is it.

Canada, what animal will Canada go with? Moose. Raccoon. Moose. Oh, yeah, moose. Mexico. Is it an animal? Cheater?

Yeah. Is it? And America. Cheaters in Mexico? I would say a fat pig. Eagle. Moose, cheetah. It looks like

CGII Like characters from a terrible video game They will be They look like awful mascot From a theme park No one goes to Their poor patrol POTR mascot

Oh God That's a lengthy thing I'm sorry Edit that down No he's good But yeah But so I have a favourite Go on what's your favourite

My favourite is Foothix And you both tend You know's that But Fittix Chow is Yeah Chow I think is Everyone's number one

Who's Fooths? Fooths was a French One that Woodie Woodpecker Oh I thought I know I like like the ball head. Yeah, Chow.

He is the best. I like zucchini. Oh, the South Africa. I like it. I like that little zucchini. I think Chow is regarded as probably the best. But for me, Foothix just invokes. Most icon.

They did not. I mean, they might as well have got an AI to do it this fucking year. Yeah, yeah. It looks like that. It looks like AI. They're just standing about. Like they're like their NPCs in some fucking game. Generic Eagle cartoon character can get. I'm sick.

tired of World Cups and Euro has been spread over different countries. Just have it in one country. All the time. Just do it all the time from one country or one stadium. They probably want that. FIFA probably would do that. Any of the Arabian countries and America. They just call it FIFA land. Great idea. And everyone gets

to go to the World Cup in one place called FIFA land. That'd be nightmareish. This theme part rides like the England roller coaster where you never know if it's going to go up or down, but ultimately it crashes out. Oh, look at that. He knows all about it. Or the French or a French

They're quite good Also roller coaster That goes up and down You never know if it's going to win But this one wins There's my comedy I hope you enjoy it It worked for me

It went over our heads over it Do you think it was too intellectual For you both? Good enough Paul I think that was the problem with it I think I'm right As comedy look at our guest He's looking off

He doesn't look across my arms I'm sorry Okay what about a theme park ride About No I don't think you should Uh You're flying And it's a bouncy castle.

You're flogging your dead my skull. And you bounce up and down like the Japanese do because they like to jump, don't they? So it's a right, I don't know. Get me out. Get me out of this. Best the butt. I can stop it.

I can stop it. Let's do the next bit. It's World Cup time. And like World Cup likes to do, they merge the fuck out of everything. It's been rubbish this year. Especially processed fast food brands. It's been so horrible.

They go mad for it though. Pizza, burgers. Yeah. Fucking crisps. Soft drinks. They've got special. smoke cans. Have you seen these?

It's fucking huge. They're like big Bud Light fucking things. My big problem with it is because Lays have got the rights to the crisps, it isn't just branding on over everything.

It is just your Walker's Lays crisp brands. And it's so much poorer for it. I'd love to having sort of just anything with World Cup licensing on it. That was great. But now they've only got like five sponsors. It's not just plasted over everything.

No, it's just the trophy on everything now. And then the, World Cup logo, which is, you know, what it is. I don't think we've tried any World Cup stuff in the past, but for some reason, Lays now have done international flavours for the World Cup this year. They should have been doing that for years, but it's just very disappointing. I think we should start with the Doritos.

All right. Are they made by Lays as well? They must be the same thing. They are. They are free-o-Lays, yeah. Oh, I saw Lego are doing special Lego sets. Yeah. And you can get a Jules Ramee Lego set, which I thought, oh, that's cool.

Then I saw it was $130. Quib, went, not that cool. No, no, no. Right, this is, there's four of these, but we've only got two, right? So this is Doritos. Mexican beef taco flavored corn chip. Official sponsor of the FIFA World Cup 26. No logo characters on there, no fucking eagle on this, is there?

No. No. No, fucking cheetah. Why haven't they? Picture of the trophy, and that's that? I bet they spent a fucking ton on those characters as well. It's rubbish. It should be over everything.

Now, we're going to taste these, but because Ash has a particular, desire to not touch meat base. Because this is like saying... They're definitely not. They're not flavour. The ingredients don't have anything particularly upsetting to you. They got cheese. But it does say this may be made in a place

containing milk, soil, wheat. I'm not unhappy with that. Let me, if I can have a look at the pack. If I let him open it then. Yeah. Can I have a half? You can do the opening hook. Jossolate.

Jocelyn Huff. Super for vegetarians. We might be a business here. Beef taco flavor. I just couldn't see vegan. Yeah, yeah. But as long as it doesn't have anything in.

I'm not. Way. It could have way protein. It doesn't. Show me the way to go. So it just says may contain. I'm happy with that. That's fine.

It's just been around. It's been around someone who killed a fish down the road. I'm going to open and sniff. Go for it. Now, what are you getting? I've tried these, full disclosure. What are you getting? Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. All right. Full disclosure, I've tried these already. It sounds like real food. Yeah. So what does it again, meat beef taco? That's really nice. The huff.

Oh, yeah. It's good, isn't it? They are. They taste good. It smells genuinely like. This is the best Dorita I've had. in years, I have to say. That genuinely smells like...

Do I want one then? Yeah, I do. That's... Oh, I've taken... I've taken three. I'm going to re-disolate the heart. That smells our actual food. Mmm.

Yeah, there's a sweetness. There's a little spice in the smell. And there's also a numami, a kind of savoury afterwft. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's coming up the nose passage. That's actually nice.

You can almost place the sour cream and stuff, can you? I'm going to ask you for the 400. the fucking time to swallow your food and then eat, all right? You slop-mouthed fucking beast. I'm sorry. Please love me. The nine times I'm listening to this later

and all I hear is, when you say you're sorry at the start that I said, do you mean it? No. No, no, no. These are delicious. But, yeah, no. And these would go nice with even something

as simple as like a nice salsa, a nice light salsa would be lovely with this. They're really good. But I would recommend a nice salsa with this. Those are excellent. If you... Can I have one more, please? No.

One more. You get out all of them as afterwards, can't you? We're making a podcast. Do you reckon you... Wow. That was too much. He's got worse, isn't he? I think so.

I think so too. It's such a dick. Would they be too much after... I mean, I could eat that whole bag? Yeah. Do you think there'd be too much? What do you mean? Oh no.

I think they're just really good. They got it right. Yeah, honestly. They got it right. It doesn't like overwhelm. It's not fake tasting. It's subtle enough that it doesn't overwhelm. that sort of, yes.

Sometimes like they're... Cluffy. They get cloying, is the word you're looking for. Cluffy. Cluffy. Clothy. Yeah, in Clough. No.

I think you nailed it when you said it doesn't taste artificial. That really doesn't taste artificial. That's super nice. But there are sort of more subtle notes, like a sort of sour cream and an onioniness. A spice. Bearing in mind that is essentially vegan. There's no animal product. That is as close to a...

And a little bit garlicky, little bit, tiny little bit garlicky as well. Very good. Very good. That's really strong. Honestly. That's really strong. That's one of the best crisps I've had in a long time. Yeah, I agree.

I was really taken aback the other day when I had them someplace. What, did you dip him with it or just have them right out of the back? No, I just had them. Someone said these, oh, I was around my friend. It was, we were watching the PSG game, the Arsenal PSG game. Oh, well, there you go. I remember when I had them. Right.

Next one then. Again, I don't know if these are vegetarian or not, but these are. I do not understand this, what it says on the. cover of this. This says Lays Max, inspired by Argentinian grilled steak flavor produced in Poland. Why would it say that? Why does it say that?

It doesn't say produced in a different country on that. Why does it say it? It says inspired by Mexico on the other pack and that's that. There's also, other than on the front, everything else is in Polish. So they must maybe they just wanted to emphasize that they produced them there. These are crinkle cup potato chips. Isn't that such a strange thing

to have done? Crinkle cup crisps. But unfortunately, I can't check the ingredients because it's all in Polish or Latvian. I will sniff it. But you can have the Jocelyn Huff. Argentinian steak. That's so weird. It's all in English. Inspired by Argentinian grain steak flavor produced in Poland.

I guess if you bought it in Poland where it was made, you'd know that, though. So maybe they have to put it on for legal reasons. I think it might be something like that. It's got a little comma next to the, it's got like a one. Oh, really? So somewhere it's going to say. say why it says that. No, well, it'll be in Polish then, so we're not going to get through that.

And I ain't going to do Google lens today. Not today. Not today, Google. It's still vegan if you smell it, isn't it? Yeah. It's like it's not sexy. The start of it, I thought, was disgusting. And then it eased into that's quite nice.

What did you get? What notes? That's sick. Oh, right. Why? Why would it be sicky? Because they use that element that's in Parmesan cheese, which is like... Oh, really?

Yeah. To give it sort of a savory sort of... chemical. That's really difficult to put my finger on. I'm going to rejostulate. He's like he handed it to you. That's not what happened. You snatch you out of his hand is what happened.

I could have reached that. It was a purpose. There's a dryness. There's a sick type smell. There's a dryness. Oh. Oh, it's like that stuff Maggie liquid seasoning. That's what it smells like.

That stuff. Yeah. Little sweetness. Little savouriness. Yeah. It smells. It smells. It's not as nice as smell.

the corn chips. Yeah, a little bit dry. Oh yeah, and they've got a like bath. It does smell a bit sicky. At the front, yeah. It's kind of almost like a creamy note.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get that. I didn't get that. I didn't get that. Dive in, Paul. But, you know, smell is one thing, tastes another. Have you tried these?

No. No, so this is new for you as well. Max, I won't talk with my mouth for. I will say that the first sniff smelled like sick, but they did improve. Both are frowning. Both are frowning.

Paul's eased into his chair a little bit with this one. one, Eli is frowning but also quizzically, looking around. That's almost cheese and onion. It smells soft cream cheese and onion. Yeah. But where's the beef?

The whole idea is it's... As the lady said, the advert, where's the beef? It's not very beefy, is it? No. I reckon if you blind... This ain't beef. Yeah, steak. Yes, grilled steak.

If you... I think the off note is they've gone for a kind of char. They're trying to get a charred thing in there. A sort of smoky char of the grill thing. What's the green bit on here? What's that... green stuff that they've drizzled on it, according to the image on the little pack.

Oh, yeah. That would be, like a mint sauce or something. No, it's like a salsa verde that they use. It's garlic, parsley. Maybe that's what we're tasting to garlic or something. Garlic and parsley sort of, it's lovely that in oil that they use. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice, but I don't know how it translates to this.

I think there's a sort of weird stale, almost chemical note, and I think that's them trying to add a sort of blackened, charred flavor to it. Mixing them. I'm going to mix this up. I'm going to take... You do two? What cocktail? Yeah, I'm doing a cocktail. A World Cup crisp cocktail. Can I do that please as well? Yeah, you've got a cocktail too. Great.

You're absolutely right. It's almost a stale type of smell that is... I think it's their flavour technicians just getting the sort of burntness wrong. That's what I personally think. I get the burst... I don't even really like Doritos, but that is one of the best crisps I've had in age. It's something. They've struck gold there. They've absolutely struck gold there. They've stuck ink of gold. I have, yeah, yeah, they have.

I'll say this, the cocktail don't work. Because the Dorito is just too overly flavored compared to the other. They've never done a crisp where... A week show, you're right, the Argentinian steak. It'd be good to have crisps where the different flavor crisps were in the same bag. That's been done. How was it? Yeah.

There was the Walker's Quavers thing, but they used to have like quavers and walked it in a bag and then there were two different flavors fiery and cheese in the bag. Yeah, they have like snack mix. Oh, and the roulette thing the Reto did. And roulette. I was going to mention that. But they also have like special snack mix Which has goldfish, pretzels, golden graems

Those youths, they've got a whole mix of them I like that Yeah Doritos and Doritos in there too But you can have salt and vinegar where one is salty One is vinegaree Well now in the cinema You can get salty and sweet

Which is a fucking I hate it It's one of his bug space everyone It's disgusting I like it Have one or the other But mixing him is unpleasant Well you don't have to have it

Paul I do I make another one of them Go for it Right Good crisps all right round really, but I think Doritos was the standout. I honestly don't think.

I honestly don't think there's many crisps I would give a 10 out of 10. I think I'd give that a 10 out of 10. Well, they'll be available where you are as well, Ash. Yeah, you can pick them up in stores now. When did you get these on, by the way? From Finchley Road. Oh, that little shop where we got the crem orange. No.

Oh. I do go in there. Yeah, but no days. And I just bought a Celsius energy drink, which is like, like, 200 milligrams of caffeine. You are heading to a stroke town. I'm just going to say this now I'm in the same boat The problem is, you know the problem is

I'm the one who's going to actually have a stroke That's what I think it's going to happen I'm going to threaten you both And shout at you And then I'm the one is going to keel over And then no one's going to do nothing Are they? I'm addicted to the energy drink

Oh yeah? A little bit of bad for you Well, they're trying to kill me Do you need to take a break Are you troking to death? Dorito I gave it 10 out of 10 and then They turn on you like this

Right we'll be back after this commercial break. What a collection. Remember Mexico, 1970? Oh, yeah. England, two, West Germany nil. Was that the final score? That was the score when I finished that particular Guinness. Oh, yeah. What a feeling. National pride, triumph. Furthermore, triumph and national pride. Nicely put that. I'd won with the world, I poured myself another long, cool Guinness. Why didn't you mount that one? Oh, by the time I finished it, the Germans won the one. match so I chatted at the time we got it fixed in it. No mad rush, Dad.

Oh no. Finish a Guinness first. With a big match, there's nothing like a Guinness. He's going. He's enjoying him. He's ungy. You can have dinner later, Ash. Yeah.

Are you still doing marathons? Yeah, I am. You know how I like, I enjoy is the Pankton, Thrift. Firt. Yep. Pankton, Frith. Prankton, Frith. The, like, top five.

things you did on Instagram he had been enjoying them blind ranking stuff they're good what's your favourite thing you've ranked well they were all

they're all bit spicy oh is it edgy for the youth yeah he can't help himself is it a bit edgy is it top number of fingers up a ladies

clunge 10 that's two it's two for me two for you I'll have two don't go on the list what are we doing

I don't know You think about fingering someone just that was actually. That would have been a while. That's pranks from Firth. You can listen wherever you get your part. Oh yeah. Just letting our guests plug their shit. Don't call it shit.

It might be good. Plug their stuff. Plug their comedy with two fingers. What? Plug the fanny with two fingers. You know, you need the whole palm really to plug it. Because I think two fingers is still... This isn't going to go.

You kind of go up. Up against it. Yeah, you would need to... Form a seal. Depends on the fan. And the fingers. Yeah, you're not plugging it with, so it's not like a dyke in Holland.

No. So, you need to, yeah. Please. What are we doing? I don't know, Paul. Have you seen that tape that they go? What tape?

It's like a sort of new tape. Fanny tape. It'll be like, there's a hole in this paddling pool. They slap the tape on it. Oh, guerrilla tape. It's a gorilla tape, that's strong,

it would do a paddling pool. Yeah. It just, like, it sort of melts on. Yeah, it's got a sort of squidgy backing. So it kind of, of, yeah, goes in that. You always see it like a guy with a big tanker of water

and he smashes a hole of it. Yeah. And then just gets the thing and slaps it over the oil and seals it. No way that works. It's that way. Do you think? Do you think it's all like trickery? We can do it.

We'll do it at the live show. Yeah, we'll do that. I'll bring the tape. Yeah, and I'll bring the medical insurance forms. I'll bring some like little figures. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, lovely. Right, we're not doing anything of that.

Right. I don't know when this started. But for some reason. Well, we know when that started. It's the day it all ended for Gannon. No. The trend of like football teams releasing songs. It goes way back.

Where's it gone though? No, it was terrible and great. Like the last, the last ebb of that was like the late 80s, early 90s, right? Well, what was, it was 96 was three lions. Yes. The players didn't sing on that. They were in the video, but they didn't sing. World Emotion, 99.

That's the best actual song. John Barnes are actually doing a rap. There was the Anfield rap. I know that's not World Cup. Liverpool FC are hard as hell. United, Tottenham, Arsenal. They could rap as well. That was the most sort of legit hip-hop of all of these songs.

Yeah, that was a good song. We coming on the podcast years ago at the Amfield Rap. Do you think that was crushed by then Morrison the Miners doing the stutter rap? That came out before that. Did it? Yeah, considerably. That was like a year after, what was the first album, Beastie Boys, Ill behavior or something. Ill communication.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that came out and then I think the year after Morris Minor released a stutter rap. Wow. Yeah. It's in one of my lookings.

I thought weirdly saw that earlier. But Chas and Dave also used to write songs for Tottenham, I think it was. So every time like a football team got the sniff of a final. If a Cup final, there was a song. We did it in 98, I think. And that was the end of it.

I'll say my theory about why this is no longer here. I wish I had my phone with me to do research. Because like so many other categories, of pop music, novelty, which would loosely fall into the football song, right?

It's like a novelty type of song. It's completely gone. Yeah, yeah. There's no top 10 anything now. No. There's no, there's no, there's still pop music exists. The chart means nothing because... There's no, like, nationally

or even internationally unifying pop songs. Like, beat it by Michael Jackson, for example, something like that. That type of thing doesn't seem to happen. But you were told... The last time it happened that I can think of, gang gang gang gang gang style. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Or is that the one of the pineapple, pen, pineapple. Remember that? Same guy. It was the same guy? I believe so. Pineapple pen pineapple.

But there hasn't really been, like, hits that everyone knows. But you used to be told what to listen to. You'd listen to the radio stations and they played it. Now you could be so individual. Yeah. Right. We're doing records. We're doing records.

I want to know when the great tradition of England releasing songs because they might win the World Cup. Because originally, this is all inspired by this, this single. called This Time We'll Get It Right by the England of World Cup. It's so sad, isn't it? And we've been saying this since 80. It's like football's coming home.

It's like coming back to your, like, you've cheated on your wife or you've been terrible. You know what I mean? And it's like, I promise, love, this time I'll get it right. This time I'm bringing home the bacon. Yeah, he's gone down the bookies and spent his ways back in. It's like, it's not about winning. It's about, this is my theory I'm developing.

It's almost like it's about the, Please don't give up on us. Yes, it's the negation of the disembation of the disappointment. The usual disappointment. I'll stop, I promise you. It's the novelty of the disappointment arriving.

But every popular song is about that. I think that's also to do with the nature of football, soccer as a game. It can be hugely frustrating, can't it? I have this because... You don't have the release of scoring very often. When it's score, it's a big fucking deal. My team didn't win anything for a long time, as you said.

Yeah, yeah. But it's such a weird mindset because no one wins. One team wins every year. Sometimes the team wins three or four times in a row. Most football fans never win anything. Crystal Palace won their first ever trophy last year. They're hundred years old. Not really. First ever anything. Yeah, they won their fake up last year. So fans still go like what is a Crystal Palace? What's he been doing for 100 years? What have they been doing for 100 years? Because it isn't about winning really. It's about something else. I don't know what it is. But it's funny because I was looking at the World Cup as well. Do you know how many nations, Paul, have won the

World Cup. 80 have played. Yeah. But how many of those 80 have won it? I've actually ever won it. It's like eight or something. Yeah. Is it eight? Eight. Wow. That was a great way. So yeah, that's the thing. So, but every year you go, I'm going to watch every game. Brazil, Germany. Italy. Argentina. Argentina. Ecuador, twice. Really? Uruguay. I mean, I'm in Uruguay. Sorry, Ecuadorians or Eurocone.

So Uruguay twice. France? France twice. Yeah. Germany. West Germany. So let's go from the top. Brazil. Brazil. Four times. West Germany. Five. West Germany, just stroke Germany. Right.

Don't say anything. I'll stroke Germany. Uruguay. Uruguay. I'm a guy. He's a guy. We're all guys here. England.

We've got three more. Argentina. Argentina. Italy. Wait, England's only one it wants. Yeah. Oh, I see. That's why.

I'm not one more team. Right. So we've got Brazil. Uruguay. France. Oh, no. Argentina. Yeah.

England. Germany. Germany. Spain. Spain. Spain, Spain. We're sort of eight in there. The other people of the countries that don't get to go near like Scotland and Wales and then.

Yeah, no nation from Africa has ever won it. It's only Europe and South America. Australia we've found it. It's the only Europe and South American teams have ever won it. And like the furthest anyone has got from any other part of the world is the semi-finals. America got to the semi-finals once or something. I think the thing that irks me most about things like this town will get it right. Because obviously it's like, what was this, 82?

So it had been a good, what, 16 years since the win, right? We've been chasing that one win ever since. But, like, Britain still goes into every World Cup, or England goes into every World Cup thinking, this is ours. Yeah, I know, yeah. Our birthright to the World Cup. We should do it so every year. This is correct.

And then they go, oh, why didn't we? Yeah. It's a story of just crushing disappointment year after year. Which is why three lines was written. That was the joke. We had, which is now 60 years of her instead of 30, which is bad. So, yeah, it's really weird. We've had brilliant players.

and brilliant teams and still not got close to winning it. I'll tell you what, let's play a little bit of this time we'll get it right by the 1982 England World Cup squad. So that was the song this time will get it right. And also, the other thing I wanted to mention was because there's this weird masculinity about supporting football, not weird, but there's a masculinity to supporting football by and large. Women weren't allowed to play for years.

Without getting into the politics of it. It's funny how they're like, let's really it's a pop song to celebrate our team getting to the World Cup, but the song has to be more of a chance because it can't be too musical and clever. It has to be something you can chant without having a singing voice of talent.

Seeming effeminate is what you mean. Football is effeminate. So strange, especially in this time where there was trouble in the stands and things like that. Oh, yeah, right. The height of the hooliganism era. And yet there's guys just going,

oh, we love to watch the boys kick. Durbel. Justin Panks, he was in his local pub the other day and he saw a Norwich City hooligan, you know, their firm or whatever,

a sticker. And it's like, you've been served by the Norwich, like, whatever club. Horrible, violent wankers. He was like, he peeled it off

and he took it home. And I was like, so this hooligan firm, they were like, we're going to go and fuck up Millwall on Wednesday night. And someone would,

oh, but John, do make sure you've printed off the labels because we're going to stick them around the pub. No, there's this whole weird thing. Have we got the letterheads?

Yes. Come on, guys. There's a schedule. You have to. A firm has to be organized. There is an admin. Even the hell's angels need, do that have an admin. They have stickers printed.

Right, so in this, some of these guys went on to have like actual pop careers. Kevin Keegan, Glenn Hoddle. I've got that single Glenn Hoddle and the other guy. Hoddle's in this squad, right? It's called white diamonds or something. Yeah, Diamond Lights. Diamond lights. So he had a single career.

Kevin Keegan. is in this. Kagan tried to have a proper career. He tried to have a musical career. He was like, I remember that Kegan was the first celebrity football that I was aware of. Ray Wilkins, he got done for drink driving. I was aware of Kegan.

I used to like Kegan. He was short, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah. He was a good player. He was a small child because he was a... He was a huge star, wasn't he, Kagan? But some of these guys went on to actually release music and probably make money from their musical career.

But then Kegan went on to have an ill-fated career as a commentator. Yes. Is he going to do it that? And he went on to manage England. Will he do it

this time with a free kick? Yes. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, it's penalties. Yeah, will he score? Quickly? Yes. No.

Why would you even answer? I forgot about that. Well, the commentator, commentator is one of his biggest regrets. Was asking him, Kegan, that question. On the spot. Will he score?

Yes or no. Quickly? Yes. Oh, no. And also, there's infamously, the, you know, there used to be that TV show on BBC called a, oh, no,

like Super. stars or something. He had a terrible accident. Coming off a bike, racing a bike around a track. Kevin Keegan. He just becomes like one of the... Face first on a gravel power.

It become one of the most, the highest, that transferred players in the world. And then he had this terrible accident and really injured himself. He was still a current player. And yeah, was terribly injured.

Well, I guess these days, they're so, they're pampered. They've never been allowed to do it. They would be allowed to do things... They're allowed to do... In the preseason, they're allowed to do,

whenever you see a football are doing something, they're doing the most basic kicking of a ball. That is it. Because the hamstring pops or something, it's screwed. This is just an aside, but yeah, I found it in this looking idly today. Singing for a doddle and hoddle and

Waddle and it's talking about them releasing the song, Diamond Likes. Glenn Hoddle and Ian Waddle. Chris Waddle. F.A. Cup final, England. Tottenham Hotspur versus Coventry City. May 16th at Wembley it was and they released this fucking song. That's crazy. Now,

I wonder how many years they've done an LP, a whole LP, with the song. Because they did in that year. Well, this is what I'm going to get to now because I ordered this thinking it was a different single altogether or something. And then it turned up and it's like, oh, it's an actual album of the 1982. That's beautiful artwork. Where this song comes from, that we just played. These are drawn.

They're painted, yeah. It's the same guy who did the looking drawings, I think. So that's Keegan. It's like a movie poster style with the England team. Glenn Hoddle, that's Wilkins, Terry McDermott, Peter Shilton. Shelton, I remember him. These guys were in their 20s. He looks like he could be 73.

Well, it's one of those things. They were allowed to smoke fags, probably. Yeah, yeah, and drink, yeah. As he waddle passes he put out a cigarette and passes over to the defense. No, Jim Bowen used to smoke 80 fags a day. Wow. I wonder he looked like 80 when he was 35.

Andrew take blah, blah, blah, blah. Jim Bowen, that is a man. Yes, that is proper. 80 a day, yeah. You know, I did talk sport, and Jim Bowen was one of the guests. and one of the presenters was like, Jim Bowen said, you're right, he goes, I've got terrible headache.

And Jim Bowen just put his hand in his pocket and pulled out some tablets. They went, take them. Like they were loose tablets out of a pocket and he took them. They're just like, whatever they were, Kodemal or some strong, but he just had them loose in a pocket

and I'll take two of them. He must have been medicalised up to the hill. So there's pictures in here of the players with their tops off. Yeah. They aren't athletes. No. They're not even thin men.

Stocky. They're just sort of. So just so people know, The album comes with a booklet, which has loads of stats and figures about previous games of where England... Great piece of kit. Performed than previous World Cups. You've never seen that ever again. You're not getting any of the current players doing this.

We're in a recording studio. They're having a laugh. Yeah. They made a proper effort with this. They don't know if anything's similar. They probably got 100 quid each or something and we're delighted. Yeah. It's like, yeah, what are you doing Sunday?

We're going to sing a song for the record. Oh, oh, yeah. Do you have to sing? No. Look, we've got history of the World Cup of England and the World Cup inside, a little booklet inside this LP. Up until 1982. In the Gatefield.

of this LP. So I knew it was before this, but in the 60s, I remember hearing this story about Tottenham winning the FA Cup. And they all used to get in a big bath, didn't they, after the game?

Yeah. And they won the FA Cup, and then the captain, a guy called Danny Blanche Flower, I think, he then, in this pool, was like, oh, by the way, I need someone to help me

on a job tomorrow. He was a painting decorator on the side. He's like, I need help. And so he was asking the team, who can help me go and do this job tomorrow. And no, it was FAA Cup. Toddner won it.

It's like, so who can help me. on this job tomorrow and he just had someone labour for him, it's just one their fake up. Kind of do a painted, decorating job for the following day. Well, rugby is still similar. Amity as it was supposed to be, isn't it? Yeah, I don't think they are.

I mean, it's a weird time of like when it still felt parochial. Yeah, yeah. It still felt like you would see your fucking England player at the corner shop. Because they, these guys didn't make retiring money, a lot of them. A lot of them had to go into management or

commentary. You had to. Or they bought a pub. But these days, top players in the Premier League, they're just minted. A kid at Arsenal who's just signed sort of professional toes 16 year old,

16 year old. Oh yeah, yeah, Max. So he'll be on four grand a week. But Max Dalman, he'll be on a pre-contract. So he's on four grand a week

until he's 18. He'll be on, that guy, Max Dalman, he'll be on whatever. They think he's going to be like one of the best players England's ever produced. So he'll be whatever he wants he's on.

Yeah. But even a kid who is not going to, he'll sign his contract until he's 18 and then maybe, maybe not even make as a footballer. He'll be on four grand a week, minimum. I'll take it. So imagine that.

You sign at 16 and you do two years on four grand a week. That's a good pocket money. It's setting you up, certainly, for... Well, for what happens to everyone who gets super, super rich. Is you stop, and this is science, you stop giving a shit so much of a shit about other people being able to see other people's points of view. Yeah, yeah.

They've done all these tests. That's why the billionaires are these psychopaths, the sociopathic fuckwits. Yeah, they're just. Anyway, a little bit of politics. A little bit of politics. Morgan, thank you very much. Right, no.

So, yes, because one of the things I wanted to go with this is that, yes, it's a whole album, right? It's got a nice little booklet in and it's got stats. Actually, does anyone know how England did in the 82 World Cup? Not well, I don't suppose. I don't know the answer. That's the one before Mexico 86. Yeah, yeah. Eli, look it up.

How did England do? I'll tell you what. Okay, Google. I'll look it up for you. Where did England plays in the 1982 World Cup? Oh, look it up. Google didn't understand that question. I think you...

You know what? I want to give you some credit there. That was really well worded on the fly. Thank you very. Because when I do that at home, I do that. And then I just go, how, what? Who did this? Do biscuits?

Right, what have you got, Eli? Hang on a second. Hang on. I know he says. Eli's got a folding phone. Yes. He likes his folding phones. Go on.

England. England. Oh, my God. I could have gone. Out of this room. Yeah, World Cup, England, 82. How did they finish? Where did they finish?

World Cup, England, 82. I said, World Cup, 82. Boom, boom. That's the one. Still is. Come on. What have you... God, Almighty, seriously.

Hang on, hey on. Hang on. Oh, no. Well, they weren't at third place or fourth place. Right. So they didn't get to, like, the semis then? Well done or not saying anything. Record.

Oh. I'll edit all of this out. Oh, Jesus Christ. I've never known. Squads, here we go. Here's a list of the squads. One of the list of the squads. That's in this fucking album.

I can look at my album and find that out. I want to know how they placed in the 82 World Cup. And so far, Google's been fucking useless. It's not that straightforward. It is. When did they get knocked out of the World Cup? Our interview is not available for this year. England returned home from a...

the 982 unbeaten having conceded just one goal in five games. I know this still doesn't answer the question. Wait, so they went home on, well, that means they won. They drew. They drew. They drew. Oh, yeah. So they didn't win.

Oh, but they didn't lose any. Okay, all right. So they conceded one goal. So yeah, that's not enough to get you away. They were fortunate to reach the World Cup. It's it. So they didn't. All the time making a fucking album.

They missed one. Didn't they miss one in America? Yeah, yeah. They didn't win that one. Yeah. But honestly, they were too busy making this. album. It's like, come on, training, training. It's like, no, come on, Lac.

Oh, we'll be thinking about you. Just a little bit. Go on, we're going to sing away Upsie Daisy, mother and that accidents. Come on. It's not as easy as you would think. To actually get the place, I know. I would have looked up the World Cup 82 on Wikipedia and it would tell you all the placements.

I did. Did you? He doesn't tell me the placements. What do you think I was looking at for? Do you think England? I was fucking looking at there. Because when you use a search engine, it's like watching my grandkids. Look, Ash, our guest, do you think he knows how to look things up?

Yeah, but I didn't ask Ash to do it. Well, he hasn't managed to do it out over. He had less time than you. You fucking, you gaslighting, competence questioning prick. Yes. Dickhead. Well, I tell you what, while you're looking for that. Well, you find it.

No, because I, my phone's in the next room. Sorry for shouting. I think England went online and wiped all information about where they placed in any world cooking. This is like real football fans. This is how real football fans. division forms in football. Look at you two. You're at each other's throats. To end this segment

though, I wanted to play one track off this, which out of all the tracks, Ash, this is the one I didn't think was going to be on here. So obviously you've got things like back home, you'll never walk alone, the National Anthem. Isn't that a squad

that's associated with you? That's Liverpool. That's Liverpool, yeah. Anyway, there's loads of land and hope and glory, abide with me, brass band version of the world of sport, ITV theme, which I'm quite interested in. But no, track five, Ash, is this. It's called Bulldog Bobby, and the performers are Mike Reed and the Mini Pops.

Wow. Let's hear it. So after Glenn Hoddle and Kevin Keeganon and the band and Ray Clements and all the brass bands, we get Mike Reed and the mini pops. Which do you think, which Mike Reed is? Oh yeah. No, it could be either.

Lovely. They were both prominent. He never said lovely Jumby, what'd he say? This is Mike Reed. What did he say? Trifific. Here. Treat all.

You're right, treat all. England got out of the group stages by winning all their games. They went into a round robbing competition. So they played Germany and Spain, who then also played each other. And England drew both games, nil andil and went out. So they didn't really even get that round robin, didn't they? That sounds really weird. Yeah, very odd.

Sent Robin round, Paul. Yeah, I sent Robin round. What did you send a fucking round too? I don't know, but I sent him round. Thank you. Altogether, this souvenir album is a must for any England supporter, because whether we win all it was in 1982, this tournament in Spain will be remembered by us for many years.

I disagree. It was completely obscured. Not doing that. Completely obscured by 86. That was the first time I remember it actually happening. 86, because it's exciting. He had hand of God. Yeah.

And Maradonna, who was like a genius. You know, like a, I'd never seen any footballer like that. He was incredible. Like an actual... Well, he was the start of the modern, skillful, incredible player. Right. But he was also a massive. if cokehead?

I mean, yeah. Oh, wow. It's warped. There's nothing you can do about that, it's warped.

How much did you pay for that? Not much. It's warped as shit. I mean the album. Yeah. So if you put a weight on that, would it change that? I was like,

dead. No. That was Glenn Odle and we are the champion. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. He's going to come out of best. He's going to beat the

Everything's done And you can see me You'll agree Bobby's number one A time ago in a far off distant plane There was a Bariin Bobby scored Oh yeah

Yeah It's not bad It's like It's better than the other stuff Isn't it? He had a musical career Didn't he? There's a nightmare quality

to it because it's distorted Why he must have smoked So much To have that voice He's just got the voice Of a man who did some bad stuff You'll be your friend And soon

You'll be a beginner son And Mike Reed and the mini pops Singing Bull Dog Dodger or something It's catchy It was too warped To really make it out properly It did sound like the Mr Blobby song I've put a version of this in

That's better But when we played on the album The whole thing was warped And it was a bit nightmareish In a kind of liminal space horror away weirdly But everything seems to be coming up that way Drivy He is how much did he smoke

He had a great voice Yeah He wasn't a bad actor Right. He was loved on EastEnders. But why did he not have a really successful actor? He was in EastEnders, but he was enough that he could have done more, you think. Yeah, but once you, listen, once you get on EastEnders...

The money. And it's regular. You don't have to worry about auditioning, rejection. It's true. Just go and you do it. It's a 9 to 5, in it, basically. Trific. Right, listen, to end on, I wanted to end this show with a signature piece of music,

you know, like a closing ceremony to this World Cup episode. So what I found was this on. This is another World Cup album. This is from the same World Cup. This is 1988, isn't it? No. 82. No, this is 86.

No, this is 82. Oh. And this is called Goli. Is it like Gaule? Gole, Olle, Olle, Olle, Olle. The original film soundtracked featuring the music of Rick Wakeman. This is the score of the World Cup 82. Rick Waimpton's first...

The documentary film that was made of it. Rick Wakeman, a fully grown adult man. His first wife wasn't... Oh yeah, you're right. Golay, the official film. Sorry, anyway, go on, go on. He wasn't he marry a 15-year-old. Tournament.

It was the film they made about the tournament. Rick Waimann, I think, married a 15-year-old. Is that correct? Oh, I don't know. You're thinking of Bill Wyman. Yeah, you're thinking of every other rock star from the 17. Bill Waikman was in the pro-group, yes, and dressed as a wizard and played keyboards up a crag in a mountain.

I went to see... Yes. And with my dad. Big Tori. I've met him on more than one occasion. Me and mine. And I toured with him. Yeah.

What? Yeah. We're Anderson, Wakeford, Bruford and Howe. Which is an awful law firm as well. You told with them? Yeah. What were you doing? He wasn't with them on tour.

He was with them on tour. I was with them. He wasn't on stage with them. I wasn't on stage. Well, he just hung out. My friend Virgil, his dad was Steve Howe is Steve Howe. Wow. Have you not known this?

No. And then we were on tour in America, yeah. That's amazing. And Rick Wakeman was a lot of fun, actually. Yeah, I've got the wrong person. And then you meet Trevor Horn as well. So he didn't have sex with underage girls? No.

No. That's Bill Wyman. You want to save that to the microphone. Just clearly legally. He has Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones. And is he still okay, this guy? I mean, I don't know. Wademan is funny guy.

I think he's a bit of a tory. He used to the comedy store. Yeah. He was like a proper life as a presenter. I've really put the wrong thing on him for years. He did like the night's camel on ice and cheap. Yeah. Loads of terrible albums.

I went to see yes with my dad. It's a really fond memory. From when? So it would probably be 10 years ago. Well, yeah, maybe more than 10 years ago. Was it Steve Howell? No, John Anderson. John Anderson.

Yes, it was John Anderson. Oh, that's the other one. That's like the music of yes. They do cruises. You know, they do yes-themed cruises now. Surely they're both dead. Are they not? No.

My dad is. He wasn't in yes, though. The one who died from yes recently from the classic lineup was the bassist, Squire, Chris Spire. They was a great night. Like, we went to summer cliff bivillia. There's some great music. My dad was like, do you want to come?

Like, he had a ticket. you want to come and I was like yeah I'll go my dad it was fucking brilliant Wembley Arena no it was at Cliff's Pavilion in South End so like 2000 oh yeah that's they're much more of a lounge because they've splintered off

it was really good separate groups now and you watch the one that Steve Howe isn't it honestly a great night and so many of the songs I was like oh yeah I know this one but Steve Howe was not in the group at that point he was in GTR with Chris Whetton and Asia

it's funny how these bands split like isn't it like the animals it's like someone out someone's animals. And it's like the seekers and the new seekers and all this shit. I've done that. They've literally splintered off and it's acrimonious and what have you. But yeah. Was it the animals where one,

they put one guy's name on the writing credit, even though they all wrote them and then he just went, actually, no, I did Eric Burden. Eric Burden. And then Eric Burden had a group called War, Eric Burden and War. And then War had this huge career as Soul Funk Stallwolds.

Oh really? Separately from Eric Burden. Although the stuff they did with Eric, they did the world is a ghetto. And also me and baby brother. You know that one? Me and baby brother. Doon, do, do, do, do, do. And also low rider. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. But he fucked over his mates, didn't he? Burden. From the animals, yes. He literally was like, no, my name's on it, so I'm going to take the money. That's right. And he left. There was all sorts of shenanes in the 60s with that.

They were mad. In fact, you could say they were animal crackers. Thank you very much. I put a pin on that conversation. Well, are we listening to some of this crap? Yeah, we're going to end our World Cup chat by playing the last track off this, which is go lay. Gole. Go lay. And I am sure it's going to be

rewarding and fruitful move music. Who are you? Do they say that? They do say that. What do they mean? Who are you? Who do you support? Do they?

No, it would normally be aimed at a player that got a bit big for his boots. Or you'd have a big player do something shit. And then it's like, who are you? And then if it gets friendly, you go, where are you from? What's your favourite colour? Let me tell you something I hate that happens at football.

I go to football all the time, obviously. You're a good. Because you're a man. When they bring on a player, the opposition, your team will go, when they announce the name, they go, who? But it's like, that guy could be brilliant. And he might score.

Yeah, you're still right. You've got to be dismissive, don't you? I don't do that. I haven't got that in me. I'm really a bad football fan. But I even struggle. You know that song that goes, they're by far the greatest team.

I can't sing it. I go. I really genuinely, I'm like, I love them, but they're not. I can't lie. I mustn't lie. They've done very well. Instead of won the European Cup,

I think I probably would have said. What do you think England's going to do this year in the year of Our Lord 2026? How do we're going to get on? This is the thing, isn't it? Like you said, every time you go into it and you're like, they're pretty good, they've got some good players. Look at that.

Midfield, so on and so forth. but they'll probably just fuck it up and slide out disappointed in it they've got to the finals and stuff recently they lost on penalties like Saka had missed that penalty and then they got to the semi-finals was that on the euros

and went out on penalties again and then I had to go on stage and do a gig like they were showing the game the penalty missed they went please welcome yo oh man if they'd won yeah it would have been

yeah it would have been a mess You can't win either way, they're like... Where is that? She should be on stage. Somewhere out there shouting, who are you? Real loud. So, yeah, they're probably... I've got a prediction that was told to me.

Apparently, this is a cult sort of magic ritual thing has come up. Oh, okay. Portugal. Yes. And it's Ronaldo's last ever World Cup. And he's a super determined person. Yeah. But they won some English.

They win the Euros. They won the Euros. Yeah. So they might go from the Euros into... I'd be very surprised if they're... He never won it before Portugal, have they? But they're, like, he is the best player. They've got some good player.

They used to have really good player, but he's by far the best player. But whether he can carry a whole team through a whole tournament. And it's 41 years old. That's old, man. He's 41, yeah. But he might do it. You never know. But that's the thing as well.

They're all really good. So it is mad to go, oh, that's it. I think that's it. You just don't know. And if it goes to penalties, it's anyone's game. I think I might get a good price for Portugal, though. All right. Yeah, yeah, probably would.

Cheap Show would like to put all its money into Portugal this year on Cheap Show. That's what I reckon you put money on. All your Patreon money this month will go. All your Patreon money is going on Portugal. I hate this now because now if it loses, it's like how do you put money in? I was going to fucking bet on Arsenal to win the league as well.

You should have to be rich now. Yeah. You'd have to go into a betting shop. You can't you? You can. You can do it very. It's too easy. Don't go in the best shop.

But you have to modulate your fun, in it? You know, once you've heard. Modulate. Modulate. You say differences. in it. Well, that would mean like, you know, adapt. When the fun stop, stop.

Yeah, when the fun stops, stop. In moderation. In modulation. When you modulate your game playing. I'm fine. I'm not going to fight you anymore. Good. I win.

Ha, ha. Right, let's all now stand as we end this World Cup chat with Rick Waitman's Go lay track. I thank you. Take it away. Which track are you? The final track's called Go lay. So I'm going to end this by playing.

Olae! Olae! Olae! Go lay down. The podcast's finished. Hey. Do you mind not fucking eating us? We're about to do the wrap-up. Jesus Christ, I tell him off all the fucking time about eating. Stop up. I'm doing the admin.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to Cheap Show. Thank you, Ash, for coming along. It's been a lovely time with you. No, no. Oh, you don't. Don't you hear it. It's what everyone's doing now, Paul. What?

Chat-mouth garbage chat. People like it, they've told me. No, I don't like it. My podcast. There'll be a comedian's podcast called Chatmouth Garbage Chat. By the end of the show. And it will get. four fucking thousand likes a second

and be reviewed by all the top papers and get award after award. Bastards. Just accept your place in the pecking order. Yeah, which is at it where it's always been in the toilet. I love coming and doing this podcast.

I love both of you deeply. Thank you. And I love your listeners. Thank you. I love the interaction I have with every one of them. Don't be too creepy. They're good guys.

Keep it civil. When I say guys, I mean, across the board. Cross the board. None of them are ever inappropriate. it with me in any way, shape or form. Cheap Show has a one-stop shop website where if you go to the website,

everything else we exist online is there. Thecheepshow.com.com. We have everything else. Everything else we exist. Honestly, mentally. You just said the sentence. Everything else we exist. Yes.

It did not make sense. I'm sorry, Paul. Get your mouth together. Ladies gentlemen, we're on cheap show. Blah website. Contesting. Blah website. We're on website contesting.

Our blah website. Click on the button and Read and the fact on the website tape. What? Are you even talking speaking the proper English anymore? You're speaking of the proper English, are you? What about Patreon? We have a website.

If you go to our website, we're everywhere else on the internet from that spot, including our fortnightly cheap shots videos on YouTube. Every episode has a fucking page with it with fucking pictures. Can I just say give if you can, but only if you can. Later. If not, then please. Let's go.

Just tell someone about it. I don't remember your own fucking. Social media. You can't remember your own spiel. We've been talking about football for too long. You're so full of kids. Shut up. Anyway, patron.com forward slash cheap show.

They're the lovely people who have helped us donate. Only if you can. They're the people who have donated lovely pennies to keep this podcast going. Give what you can, but only if you can. And remember, give what you can, but only if you can. I get to get to say that. And if you can't, just give some for fuck around. Spread the reviews around.

Muck-Mucky reviews. If times are tight, consider just spending some of that money on Patreon. Yeah. And also Pranks and Firth. Or we're going to be bought. Which also has patron. Go and listen to Pranks and Furth. When do you release it?

Well, we do Mondays and then we do Patreon episodes on Wednesday and Friday. But do bear in mind he doesn't mean everything he says, Justin. I will caveat that. House and Pickle Sound Show, music show on Soho Radio this Friday. When you passed it the other day. Today when this comes out, 6 to 8, Soho Radio. It's online, everyone. Six minutes to eight.

House and Pickle Sound Show. Cool. And I have a board game channel with Stuart and Oliver now. S-K.S. The LXB, the League of Extraordy Board Games, where every thought, out we play a new random weird board game. And what's that if you can? How's a Pickle if you can.

House of Pick. Because tickets on sale for the live show. August 23rd. Come, but only if you can. Come, but only if you will. Fetching your pants, but only if you fucking turned on. When is it? It is on Sunday, 4pm, August 23rd at the Cambridge,

Junction 2 venue. I'm on the list, yeah. You are. We have Nick Helm, Paul Putner, Stuart Ash and Louis King, and Ash Frith. I got something. What?

Spunk up. If you can, but only if you can. Mate, fucking come on with that fucking lazy shit. What? No fucking laugh at it. It's not funny. You can't just go,

I spunk up, your fucking cum chopper. I can. Made in love. It was good. No, it's not funny. And you always do this. Fucking hell.

You're playing about my fucking language. You can't speak. But then when you say shit, It's just shit. It was just vile fucking shit. Paul, Paul, it was good. It's not good. It was.

It made me long. I am fucking sick and tired of you defending this. I have touched me. I'm fucking angry. I'm touching me glasses in anger. It was such a hack. It was a lovely bit of work. Him just going spunk up your chuff pipe is not good work.

I think sometimes Eli's the backbone of this and you are just an anchor pulling him down. It's actually... Don't you fucking dare. It's difficult to watch. Genuinely it's difficult to watch. Don't you fucking dare. Shut up. He works hard.

Okay, let's put it this way. You have a choice right now. You can even defend this piece of shit with his fucking mouth garbage, wanketry. Or you can just have fucking apologised to me. He said spunk up if you can up. Okay, let me rephrase this. If you do this again, you're not in the live show.

I don't know if I want to be. You either pick him. No, you either pick him and you're not in the live show, or you pick me and you get to be in the live show. I want to be on the side of funny. I take Eli's side on that one. And it was funny, and you've attacked. him when all he's to look at him,

he's hardworking. He's ground down. Okay, okay, so you're not in the live show then. It's going to be that simple. If you want to have a fucking laugh about it. I don't know if I want to have a laugh about this. Don't make it weird. I want to. No, no.

I get to fucking do it. It's my fucking show. Oh, he's his show now, Eli. Yes, it is my show. So it's not, you want to make a little podcast with Eli. Go ahead and fucking make his fuck pipe show. Without you, there is no cheap show. I can't.

Paul Gannon's Gannon's Gaffth show. I need him to do the all the admin and stuff. You don't. You're like it. knows, this little pig he knows where the troughs all right? This little succulent pig knows exactly where the troughs. I'm sorry, Ash, I need, I can't, sorry.

You can't, Eli, this show, you know who's funny on this show? When I listen to it, I just do every way, by the way. Get up. You're the funny one. I can't help you. Sorry. Hey, no. You're not.

I'm sorry, Ash, I can't. No, you're not no more. Eli, get out. You're the, no, no, out. Fuck off, Ash. Get out. I, stand up for yourself. I can't, I can't.

Pick your side, man. I'm sorry. Right, if I see him at the live show Alright. I'm gonna fucking... You better make sure I'll make sure he's not there. Yeah?

You're in trouble, all right? So what are you going to do? Make sure he doesn't come to the live show. Well, thank you. This is all ended very fucking up. This is still recording. Stop it.