CheapShow - Ep 495: Last Podcast On The Thrift (With Marcus Parks)

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

With Special Guest Marcus Parks Every now and then, CheapShow likes to reach out and attempt to grab someone for the show they think would be a perfect fit… Whether they are or not. This week on the economy comedy podcast, Paul & Eli are joined by Marcus Parks from the Last Podcast On The Left and Last Podcast Network. It’s a huge honour to have someone on the show who’s been a massive inspiration. However, now that he’s here, what can poor Marcus expect? Well, Paul sent Marcus a BIG box full of stuff for him to investigate. There’re some uniquely British snacks for him to savour, a few spooky books to absorb and there’s also a very special Price of Shite to evaluate. On top of all that, Paul & Eli have found a few vinyl records to inflict on Marcus… and he may never be the same again! With very special thanks to Marcus and the whole Last Podcast Network for making this happen! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-495-last-podcast-on-the-thrift GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

I'd like to hear you in my headphones. Why? Isn't that the way it works? No, because I'm right here. You can hear me. I'm ready to go, Paul. I'm ready to go. I'm on his side.

He should be able to hear you. I'm already taking sides. Okay, well, then. You did it last night when we had... Yeah, I don't know. Everything's fickle. This, behind the scenes. Okay, fine.

It's all scaffold and lights and dangling wires and things that's 20 years old. It's fine. I can hear you, Paul. Yeah, thank you. I wish we could have done this pre-show, to get it all out of our system. I didn't... I already did some.

start saying to you, I'm not going to get into this. It's very hot here in northwest London. That's the other thing. Super hot. It is, we're not a country built for this heat. It is, what is it right now? 32 degrees. 32, which sucks for us.

That's awful. We'll be doing this a lot. All right. And in lieu of World Cup soccer rules, we might be taking hydration breaks too. No worries. But anyway, we thought we'd crack off with crack off. That's not even a phrase.

British. Just before the market slings, that's a thing British people say. No one says crack off. All right. All right. Okay, cool, cool, cool. They say crack one off, meaning... Yeah, but that's not... We're not going to get into what crack one off means in front of our guest. I mean, I think we are. So what I thought we do, just to ease you in to the pace of Cheap Show markers is do a very quick lightning round question thing. Just to get it all out of the system, okay? All right.

And it's real basic stuff. So whatever your gut says, just blurt it out, okay? All right. Best Alien Race. Best Alien Race. Interesting. Best ghost. Best ghost? I would say Battersea Poultergeist, actually. I'm a big fan of Battersea.

Good choice. Best cryptid? Chupacabra. Oh, solid choice. Yeah, he's got a lot of varieties. He's got a lot of varieties, a lot of varieties. Are there different types of chupacabras? Yeah. Puerto Rican chupacra and Texas chupacra very different.

Puerto Rican chupacra is more lizard-like. Puerto Rican, Texas chupacabra is more dog-like. It's most likely just a dog with mange that's died. But who's more vicious? Puerto Rican, without a doubt. Yeah. Best conspiracy. Best conspiracy.

Ooh, that's a good real conspiracy or fake conspiracy. Whatever you want to answer, it's your gut feeling. The best real conspiracy, the classic is JFK. I mean, there's nothing that goes above JFK. As far as the best overall conspiracies, yeah. I mean, JFK, the rabbit hole never ends. It is, isn't it? It's like the ground zero of all conspiracy thing going forward from that point.

the way everyone reacted to what was and wasn't released from those files. So yeah, solid choice. Right, next is we're going to do a little bit off-kilter. Best album. Kid A. Oh, okay. Best band.

Yeah, I'm actually going to go with Radiohead. It follows the best album. The best band would have the best album. Okay, that is, I mean, everyone's entitled to their opinions, and that's beautiful. That's what makes us all special. That's it. Now the rift has started because he hates radio, I had.

He was saying to me, I don't hate radiohead. It's just I didn't connect with it in the same way other people do. In the same way, I connect with ELO 50 years late. A lot of people have a problem with his voice, Tom York's voice. Right. They can admire the music, but they can't. There's something in the taumbra of his voice that annoys some people.

I love it. I get it personally. You're going to take sides again. Kissy, kissy. Oh, yeah. No, we're already on that side, yeah. I hate this. It's always the way when sides are taken, I'm alone.

I am the last kid picking. in the pitch for the game. All right. Last one. Best serial killer. Best. There's always best. Best.

I can tell you my favorite. It also sounds awful. Most interesting. Yeah. For me, Ed Gein sits at the top. As far as just fascination and everything that came from Ed Gein, like all of the lore, you know, Texas Chainsaw Masker Cycle. he is like an inspiration as far

like horror would look completely different without distance of Ed Gein but and you can't really say that about any other serial killer that has like an actual impact on culture itself they lack his charm if that makes sense you know the charm of his war also if he are going to talk about the ethics

of having a favourite which we are now I guess a favorite serial killer Gin only had a real low body count didn't he was only like four Four or something like that. Four, like, four suspected three, you know, certainly. Oh, I see. Okay, so, well, there you go.

And so you can say he wasn't that bad. No. And he had a cultural influence. Yeah. You know. Oh, no. I take that back. Two confirmed three suspected.

And he was great interior design. So, you know, inspirational. Anyway, hello, ladies gentlemen. Welcome to Cheap Show. Press the fucking credit. Storces and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney, Choddy Borough.

I hate you. I got to be a posse. Cheap Show to... Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. It is the Economy Comedy Podcast, where I-I-I-O-A-O-A. That is how we say things on the podcast. Welcome to the show. That is the script.

Are you going to introduce me? All right, I'll do it again. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Cheap Show, the Economy Comedy Comedy Podcast. podcast where every week me and Eli Silverman. Hello everybody. Hi. Go through the Bargman's charity shops, thrift stores and dollar trees of

the world to find the things amongst the trash that we would consider treasure. And this week we are gifted, blessed some would say, with the fantastic Marcus Parks who joins us from the last podcast on the Left Studios. Thank you Marcus. Thank you very much for having me. I appreciate it.

Oh man, this is my shit. This is what I love to do. Like every time we go to, you know, we get to tour around a lot. And I've gotten into finding the weird places around America that sell this sort of shit. Like I just went to one in Grand Rapids called Captain Bazaars. Oh, yes. I've heard of that. Yeah, it had an incredible amount of stuff. This guy, you know, Tim ran the place.

And I found just all different types of media, all types of different, like weird little things. In Akron, there's the bomb shelter that's incredible as well. Oh, my God. The bomb shelter is probably the best of these stores that I've ever been to. They have a gigantic unexploded bomb outside as their sort of sign. It's this massive kind of antique mall, but they have everything. In the records that they had there were incredible. Like just the prices, you know, what I actually found there, you know, I was finding Kate Bush, Brian Eno, was finding jazz stuff, everything.

But I also found these really stupid-looking Christmas decorations there with this like big, googly-eyed Santa Claus. It's about this tall. It's about maybe a foot tall. And he looked, it looks like mutant Santa Claus. And this mutant Santa Claus. A nightmare makeup. Yeah, it sits out in front of our house. Every Christmas now.

A slightly more demonic, kind of elf on the shelf, I guess. Do you remember Snoopers Paradise in Brighton? If you ever come back to the UK. It's a famous one in Brighton. And you go to Brighton, there's a place called Snoopers Paradise,

which is the equivalent of like rummaging through someone's attic. It's got that vibe to it. It's less of shop and more of a place you're invited into to buy classic things, basically. And do you remember you used to have to take a ticket? They used to have an old ticket machine and you'd pay like an entrance fee

to the market. Because it's full of market traders inside the one shopper are all selling their different things and it could be fashion, it could be like old view masters, it could be old albums or annuals. It's,

if you ever get the chance to go, it's up there. But as a record, a digger myself and DJ, record bore. I have to say yes, America is, it just has,

so many records were produced there that it has things like, even things that are like quite common, like a, let's say, a little, Richard single or something like that, which you know, you can get, but getting them as clean as you find them in thrift stores in the States, like immaculate ones of those. That's what the real joy of going to the States to... Because you used to love, go.

We, he pops over to Forer to see family and we have been in, we've been back and forth to L.A. recently because we've got friends and people out there who we've worked with and things. And so when we were last there, we were traveling the thrift stores to put together a show because for some reason Tim Hydecker said, yes, he would do our podcast while we were out. there way back when. So the panic set in and we wanted to make it good. But what we realized is just how expensive. We were in a charity shop in Santa, it was a goodwill in Santa Monica. It was just off third street. Everything.

Even the worst, most dilapidated smash scratch albums were going for like $10. It was crazy. It's terrible. Rookie mistake in America. You never go to a thrift store in a rich town ever, never, ever. It's a way of like, Los Angeles, Seattle. New York, all of those places are useless. What you want is you go to Detroit, you go to Akron, you go to Cleveland.

Those are the places where you're going to find, like Austin, you know, like whatever. But if you go to Dallas, then you're more likely to find really, really cool shit. It's like you have to find a city where there is, there's enough of a population of people that are into cool shit. but it's not so expensive that those people have been priced out. And the stores that are able to sell this stuff, they're not priced out either. Right. So that's why I love going to places like Detroit.

It was totally ravished. And like people had stolen a load of shit for it. Oh, no, it looked like Day of the Death. It was great. It was all total trash. It was like a bunch of broken clock radios. I had to talk all these things for the episode of the table and go, here's this shit that costs $30.

I'm sorry. all we can get. And it's funny that it's almost the opposite in Britain. When you go to posh parts of London, because of the sort of type of people that live there, they donate locally and you get the sort of most interesting stuff, the best stuff in those areas. And for not much money. Well the problem, what happens here, especially in LA, is the people who, there are all these vintage stores that are fantastic and really great, but they pick over all those places and they find all the great and there's some pretty, like there's a place, like there's a place, in my neighborhood

called Avalon that I adore. I love this place. It's so fucking cool. The owner always has that great stuff. He always has a lot of like men's magazines, which is one of the things that I like to collect.

Yeah, vintage porn. I mean, that's a very blunt way of putting it. With the pamphlets, is the phrase I believe it was called. Please. But you can find some amazing things in those, like we were just doing a series on Anton LeVay. Yeah, yeah.

And I had gone to this place in Pittsburgh that is called like Edie's Entertainment that's incredible for media, just every kind of media that, like magazines, books, DVDs, records, everything. But I just found this massive collection of like, it's called Rogue Magazine. Nice. And I think it was, I think they had a British imprint as well. But I was looking through this and I found. an article that was about black masses and all the stuff that Anton LeVay ended up doing with

the Church of Satan. But it was written four or five years before the founding of the Church of Satan. And it was written by Anton LeVay's favorite author who had written this book called Nightmare Alley. And so in looking through, like, and finding all these articles and finding this shit, like I found a new wrinkle to Satanism. Nobody else, as far as I knew, had ever pinpointed, had ever seen this article.

It was the last article this writer had ever written. And it kind of changed the way that we thought about Anton LeVay and thought about the creation of Satanism. And it helped it bolster our case. You know, this shit is just sort of made up as it's gone along and taken from a lot of different places. So you can find some amazing things in there. Yeah, but that's where you time to find those missing parts of history,

is in the pages of magazines like that or, you know, budget pulpy books. Well, there was a thing. I mean, that's what's something that we've lost with digital media is the porn mags, the gentlemen's magazines, used to have... I mean, stains on them, let's get that up for it. If you could open the pages, yes.

Yeah. The nature, because of the nature of the risk gay material, they'd have more interesting... We're doing a lot of this today. They'd have more interesting writers. And I just wanted to bring up Robert Anton Wilson with someone who used to be very interested. and he was the editor of Playboy

but he's one of these original conspiracy guys he was mates with Dennis Leary Oh right You've heard of Robanton I have heard the name but I don't know too much Yeah wrote the Illuminatus trilogy That's right Which is a big big influence on like Grant Morris

Yeah it's huge yeah it's a big influence on like Grant Morrison And the Invisibles So those yeah those men's men they're full of You know just incredible short stories That you know we're only you can only read it in that It was published in this one magazine in 1961, and it might be the only thing this person ever published, but it's fucking incredible. A lot of it's trash and a lot of it's garbage, but I mean, it's kind of like, it's sort of like a microcosm of searching through thrift stores and searching through all these charity shops to find those little treasures. It's the same thing.

And then there's, you know, pornography with it as well. Get in. Right. We love ephemera. We love it. Ephemerer here. And we've got a big box. Obviously, because we're reaching our 500th episode in August,

we were trying to swing for the fences and ask for people we thought we'd love to be on the podcast. So when we asked you and you said yes, it was like, okay, well, then let's send you a little package as a kind of thank you, but also as content for the episode. So we're going to let you explore it. And as you pull stuff out, we can talk about it. But there are certain things bunched together that we can talk about in one segment, if that makes sense. So go for it. Get in.

All right. Nothing in here will burn you, scold you. make you feel bad about yourself, poison you, or make you open any orifice in your body with affluence. It's all just paper. It's just good stuff. So whenever you find. And thank you for the pins. This is very nice. Oh, we like pins. I've got an obsession with pins, so you get one. Thank you. What pin did you? I gave him the one where to me and you in a noodle bowl. Oh, in the noodle bowl.

Because we're associated with instant noodles on this podcast because why not? God, okay, well let's, okay, let's see here. That's, okay, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. So the first thing up, we have, it's a lot of British candy. Yes, you can open that. So, we don't know what you have and haven't had. What we tried to do is at least give you something that might be interesting and certainly tickle your taste buds.

Okay, so the first thing, scampy flavor fries. Do you know what this is? No, well, I'm a huge fan of prong cocktail. Okay, that's probably the closest, the closest, the closest analog flavour. Yes, absolutely. It's that fake fish flavour. Quite disagree.

Now, that comes from what we used to call the triumvirate of snacks. Right? So you had scampy, there was like a free... No, no, no. We need to give a bit of background. You'd go to a pub in England and you'd want to snack with your pint.

And on a board behind the barman, there would be hanging snacks. And these three would all be bunched together. And when you pulled a snack away, there would be a bit of a naked woman underneath. No, they weren't naked woman with those. You're confusing. No, they did.

The one I went to, there was definite tits because I pulled them all off once. No, that's peanuts. Anyway, the point is, there used to be three different flavors. The one you're holding, scampy fries. Yeah. You had also bacon crunch, bacon... Bacon bites or something. Bacon bites.

There's a bacon one. And also, the one that is now discontinued, cheese moments. It's a scandal. It's a scandal. Which was these chies moments? Yes, which they quiet. Discontinued because there would have been an uproar if they'd actually announced it, but yeah, they're gone. So what, but what's the triumvirate of snacks is now the bioamvirate? The biomvirate.

Yes. So this is one of the famous, it is a fishy snack. It's a favorite, a famous pub snack. It's very, not very fishy now. No. It's more, what is it, lemon and herb? It's more of a lemon crunch. It's a pleasant. I think they're pleasant. Scampy and lemon. You don't have to eat these, by the way, or have them now. They're just there if you want them or bin them. Okay, no, I want to, well, that's the thing, I want to savor them. I want to enjoy them. Fine. There is, I might have a lot. Oh, Iron brew jelly babies.

I, I mean, you all know how much I love Ironbrough. I'm such a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did you know, do you know the difference between Iron Brew and Iron Brew? Well, I have noticed in, by, you know, previous trips over to the UK that if it is in a jelly, flavor or if it's in like sort of like a gummy type thing. I'd notice they spell it iron brew like I-R-O-N-B-R-E-W but you know, earn beer from if it's just the soda. So effectively this is the very potted version of this but effectively the brand of iron

brew that flavor profile of drink was always I-R-O-N-B-R-E-W and then there was a split in the factory and someone took the recipe elsewhere. It's just a basically it's one of those things which it was a generic type of soda, such as... In Scotland. Such as... As... Coal. Yeah.

Right? No one can make... There's no copyright on cola. Yeah. Iron brew was a type of soft drink, like lemonade, like cola, like Orange Crush. It was a whole category. Yeah.

And then the manufacturers of... Urnbrough... Wanted a product that they could... You know, like Coca-Cola, that they could... Put their stamp on. ...and own the copyright of. So that's...

I think that's basically the split. And so these aren't these gummies and all these are iron brew flavor, but aren't made by iron brew, iron brew. We have to stop doing the fingers in quotes. Iron brer. That's getting mad. Basically, and it's very related to a type of soft drink called a champagne cola. I don't know if you've ever heard of these.

It's an oasis track, isn't it? Well, champagne coal, like I know there's a, what is it, the Peruvian soda? That's right. Inca cola, yeah. Inca cola, yeah. Campan cola, yeah. Yeah. But that's quite a widespread category around the globe of soft drink,

which is completely unrelated to like American cola, like Coca-Cola. But it's closer to what an iron brew is, I like, I think. Even though it's a fruity soda. I believe you have, yeah, jelly babies there and then like pastels, like a kind of lozengy thing. Yeah. Oh my God. Pastiles.

I never even used that before. I think it's a pot way of saying hard candy. We had fruit pastiles growing up, and they were the most. annoying type of gummy sweep because you could they were too hard too hard too hard too hard too hard delicate English teeth and palate a pastile I think it comes I think it comes from when they were they were manufactured and sold like so many of these things as some kind of medicine so you'd have a pastile which had a menthol

or some kind of throat clearing sort of thing yeah the British pallets funny I was talking to my wife about it like yesterday because I did a well I'm when I'm the The first time I ever went to the UK was in 2016, and I had really no real idea of my ancestry, but I went and I, and every food that I ate was like, this is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. Like, give me more meat pies, like get as much steak and ale as you can give me. And every, like, and I had iron brew for the first time, like backstage when we did a show in Scotland. And I was like, this is the most delicious soda I've ever tasted. It's a rites of passage. Yeah.

I mean, they used to blood you with iron brew after, you know, a hunt. They would just, like, dip you in it and then put a little mark across your forehead. So you crossed that barrier. Yeah, they just put a six-pack in our dressing room and I fell in love with it and just all the candy, everything. And then I did a 23 in me and discovered that my ancestry is something around. It's in the 80th percentile for British. I don't know if I should feel sorry for you or proud for you. Either way, it's hard to judge at this moment politically in time.

That's about 100% more British than me. Is it? Yeah. How British are you? Not at all. Well, where's your accent from? I'm first generation American, but I did a 23 in me. It's like Ukrainian Jew, Russian Jew and Croatian and a bit Scandinavian.

But no, no English. So, yeah. All right, no, thank you. I'm glad that's the hell you want to die on. But yeah, it was just incredible after. I felt like there's just something about the genetics, that all of it, like everything in England just tasted like home. Yeah, it all started making sense. Like you were lost and now you were found.

Yes, exactly. We're all learning something today, I guess. I just don't know why all of a sudden that was the stance you wanted to be so resolute on. All right, anyway, moving on. Go into the box. Okay, next up. Twiglets. Oh, God, forgot about those.

Have you ever had those? I never have. Actually, do you mind if I try? Of course. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm very interested. Okay. Beware, once you start with those. Yeah, it is a love and more hate-em thing, isn't it? Mm.

There's a bit of an aftertaste to it. There's all big aftertaste. Slightly kind of Tori-Torri-esque. I don't know, what is it? No, it's Marmite. It's Marmite, yes. Effectively Marmite on crunch. Have you heard of Marmite, Marcus?

Yep, yeah, I've had Marmire. Those are flavored with Marmite. basically. Fun and disgusting. Wow. I never know it was this easy to entertain someone. Hooray, I could just give more guests' food and just have them fun.

Beautiful. Well, yeah, as I say, enjoy them. Because this is the thing, it's a very particularly British snack, the twiglin. I love a twiglin. I don't think there's another thing like that elsewhere. And maybe Australia? No, but in America, I've noticed

they do have like Doritos mix bags. They have like bits of this and that, you know, little bits of pretzel and stuff. I think there might be something that is similar. What's funny is that I don't really like it, but I still want another. Yeah, that's how it gets you. It's super mouth crack. It's up there.

If a cult was a snack, that cult would be twiglets. In fact, I'm sure they've used a cult sort of cult aesthetics to market them. Well, because in the UK, they market Marmite in that love it or hate it. So some outfits are like, I love them. and then some have it's, oh, they eat them, and they're violently ill. And then that's the kind of advert gimmick. So, you know, you draw your lines. And, yeah, I think they are a snack that you feel compelled to eat rather than want to eat.

Yeah. I'd like to see, I'd like to see a special edition twiglet in chocolate. A twiglet. A twiglet. That's one word, isn't it? A twiglet. I wouldn't go for twiglet. A twoplet.

That's a troubling, twang-sounding words. It doesn't sound enough. Only if you live in Middle Earth. Hello. You call me a twoglet. Yes. That's not your word. The twoglet hoard is coming.

How dare you, sir. You can't generalise us this way. Hark, do you want to say that? Hark, twiglet. That's your bloody word, isn't it? For any fantasy improv, hark, God, you and Raleigh. Both of those work perfectly well. Right, what else is in the box?

Go on. Oh, you got me the prong cocktail. Light and Melty Skips, Flavoured... Oh, skips. Yeah. Because I've only ever had the Smith's prong cocktail. Now, those are a snack. those that you hold there that were only in pawn cocktail flavor, in their original.

So that is a purely prawn cocktail thing. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, and it's crunchy, but it melts. I think it's the best, it's the best manifestation of the British prawn cocktail flavor that is the,

it delivers the biggest, you're making big statements this week. I love skips. I've told you this before. I love them. I know, no, I know you love them.

No, skips are great. I just not a prawn cocktail guy. Mm. These are incredible. Yeah, they're good. I'm glad you love.

Wonderful. I forgot I put these many snacks in. I thought I'd honestly short change. I was like, oh, that'll do throw it. But actually, that's a good little collection. Yeah,

that is a wonderful collection. Yeah, and the Iron Brew, I guess I do need to try one of the jelly ballets. I mean, by all means, by all means, you know,

you don't have to. We're not going to force you to eat them right now and not finish recording until you empty the bag. Can I try? I'm going to try a jelly bag. Oh, yeah, we got some as well.

I think we got some as well. These feel like old Easter candies. They don't really sell these, they actually don't sell these in these types of gummies in America very much anymore No, not

Also, it's a jelly baby is a really traditional thing They're strangely powder powdery Why would, why? Aren't they usually powdery though jelly babies Yeah, jelly babies are But they're jelly babies Yeah

So that's why they're powdery They're okay I think Sorry Eli often forgets that eating And talking at the same time With a faux par For the ears

I would say that the iron brew flavour Is a little underpowered in those It's more sweet Yep, it's got a... But now I have to compare with the... You see? I think they're going to be better. I keep wanting to say postules instead of pastiles.

If it helps, they may taste like that. Well, at least we get a scientific method now. Yeah, have a filthy puschule. These are very chewy. Oh, they're very chewy. Yeah. Less iron brewy. Yeah, even less, though.

Yeah, you're right. Weird. Huh. I mean, nice, but yeah, it's more of a lingering statement than... At the end, you get it. A little bit, yeah. Mm-hmm. But flavor, well, yeah.

It ain't that strong. Oh, well. Oh, well. Yeah, let's end this now. You got sit with it for a little bit. You like the skips, though. The skips with the big here. I love the skips.

And now, I mean, I have to try the scampy flavor fries. Yeah. Just get completely committed to the bit. Go for it. At this point. This would be interesting. Oh, that's incredible. Oh, wow.

It's like a frosted mini wheat, but it's a chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A savory frosted mini wheat. Oh, it's just a shame you'll never taste the magic of a cheese moment. moment. Because they are gone forever. Like the dinosaurs. Gone forever.

A cheesy moment could be so, yes. Maybe that's why they got rid of it because it could be turned it, you know, turned into a dirty metaphor too easily. Well, yeah. I had a cheesy moment in my pants. Yeah, exactly.

Excuse me, doctor. I've been having incredible cheesy moments recently downstairs. No, it's good. Right. Okay. Snacks are done. I think that's all the snacks done.

So I don't know what else you want to grab, But grab it as we go and we'll roll with the punches. All right. Here is a large... Okay. This is the price of shite. So this is the game element of today's recording. Okay.

In this little collection, there are, I believe, five items. Okay. You need to guess the price of them. They've all been bought from charity shops. And you'll be going up against Eli to guess the prices because he has not seen these. So this is the game element. It's what we call the price of shite. It's a game that is almost...

as old as our podcasts. A point is, if you score a point, it's known as a betwing. It's very important you understand. It's not points. You're earning petwings. A heralded. A heralded mark of excellence.

Sorry, I'm just going to go inside baseball for one second and ask you. Are we playing the normal rules for scoring? I think to keep it simple, we should play the normal rules because I don't want to explain the quids gambit to him. We don't have much time,

and I'd rather not wait to explain micro rules for this fucking bullshit game. Okay, just to be clear, there's no quids gambit. No quid's gambit. Marcus, we're going with traditional price of shite rules here. If you guess the price,

if you guess the price exactly right. Exactly right. You get two per twings. That's two? Two per twigs. Imagine telling your children that. I got two for twings on Cheap Show. I think it would be something

you'd want to tell your kids. However, if you're out by, are they 25p, we call it P here. 25 pence, yes. Either side of the actual price. So just for example, let's just say you guess, £1.25. But it's one pound.

Well, you'd be 25p out, but you'd still get one per twing for being within that remit. 25p over or under the actual price. If you said 75p, you'd get that betwing as well. All right. And what if neither one of us gets,

is it like... Zero. Zero. Zero. All right. Zero. We should conceivably get to the end of this with zero pet twings.

Yes, and it happens a lot. It happens. So... Well, we get double donuted. I mean, have we ever actually double Donutted. I think we have. I mean, it depends on what you mean.

As in the game or what we do privately between us. Because that's a different double donutting. I meant two zeros. Yeah, same difference. Right. Okay, so you can pull into this and pull an item out, explain to us what you're seeing. And then we could talk about the price afterwards, all right?

So first item he pulls out is. Ooh, a book, Carnie Folk, the world's weirdest side show acts. There you go. It is what it sets on the tin. And it's got pictures. Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, yeah. Otis Jordan.

Yeah, this is incredible. It's got all the heavy hitters in that, basically, right? But also, it is written with some tact, because a lot of these books wouldn't be necessarily. You know, it's all like, point and laugh almost. But this one is like, no, here's the background, here's why, here's what they did, here's what it led to, here's what it meant. There's a lot more context to it than just look at these weird people.

Very much so. But I have been fascinated with this segment of society ever since reading. Well, it has a, it definitely has a, what do you? a name that isn't quite respectful. The Big Book of Freaks. It was one of those factoid books that came out many years ago. But I bought that when I was a kid. And they actually did treat many of the subjects

with a lot of respect and kindness. Wonderful stuff. Isn't there a whole category of just human zoo ones, though? Like that Barnum would just take someone who was black and that was the thing. It was always theatrics. Well, Barnum did unfortunately own a woman. Yes.

That's how he got his name was, yeah. was marketing a woman as she was George Washington's nanny. Right, right. It was supposedly, you know, 200 years old. Okay, so that's the added, the added, the added, adage. Yeah, that's the adage. Yeah, they said that she was an automaton. And then after she died, he charged a dollar for people to come in and watch her autopsy

in a bar in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. And people say Love Island's a horrible TV show, you know, in terms of like entertainment. It's like, I don't know. Now, isn't there a noir that was a novel and a famous feature? Yeah, Nightmare Alley. That is Nightmare Alley. Yeah, that is Nightmare Alley. Every single one of those novels and movies all ends the same way with the villain is in the geek pit.

It all ends like that. She Freak, which is kind of a remake of Freaks Nightmare Alley. It always ends with them in the geek pit. Them rising up and killing the ringleader or whatever. No, no, just like they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. from an elevated point of self-importance, they find themselves the very bottom rung of humanity. And that's the journey they take.

But, I mean, ultimately, it does have a feel of an EC comics vibe that story. Always, yeah. Whatever is the most ironic end, they're going to find it. But anyway, that is the book for you. Keep it, trade it, love it, burn it, whatever you want to do with it, it is now yours.

But how much do you think that cost? Now, I will say there are five items, and overall, the price comes to £9.50 pence. Oh, that's it. So that's all those items. items altogether came to £9 and 50 pens under a tenor. So with that in mind, and we can go through these again if you want to change your price once you know what they all are. So you know we're not going to be steadfast here.

You're going to write them down? I am. That's why I've got a pen. Okay, great. I'm going to say £2.50. Oh, right. Okay. Where are we going to? Very good guess. Eli, what do you think? I've got some of the pictures here for you so you can see. Oh, apart from that one thing. That's fine. I saw it there. And it looks like it's a pretty good condition. Yeah, very good condition. Not too dog-degered or... but from a... Shiny.

Still shiny. Charity shop. From a British Heart Foundation charity shop. I believe so. Okay, well that's much more on the professional side of the British stores. Yeah, so how much?

I think 250's a very good guess, but I'm not just going to mirror him. Why? I'm going to go £2.30 and £30. $2.30. Oh, he's playing the odds. Right. Next item, go for it.

Right. Oh, this feels interesting. Some items are far more interesting than others. Ooh. It's just a piggy bank. It's a piggy bank, But it's a black, yeah, it's a skull and crossbones piggy bank.

Yeah, with red eyes. It's black, red, and it looks as if, okay, there's got to be, there's clues here at the bottom that it seems as if this is something that was made and given as a gift. It might be for the spiders. I didn't check, so do be careful. No spider. No good. And, yeah, and it's got two. Oh, okay, yeah, this was a gift from one person to another.

So we're not looking at anything that is going to be like a collectible or anything like that. This is just a nice piece of ephemera. I'm going to guess on this three pound 75. Oh, that's a good one. Three, seven, five. Eli, where do you stand? Are you saying that this is actually a piece of folk art? Someone actually made it a one-off?

Yeah, this is a one-off. I'm guessing because at the bottom it says, two de d'allson it's definitely made for someone and then given away probably after a relationship ended if I were to guess or someone died I mean just with a straight up metaphor could be someone died yeah yeah

or full of tears consider that I don't know what you mean sometimes Paul anyway I'm gonna say how much I'm gonna say one pound 50 1 50 I think it does it's nice looking it's a lovely thing It's a lovely thing and now it belongs probably unnecessarily with you. So that's it.

We can move on to item number three of five, whatever you want to put out next. I love it. It's very cool. Good. All right. Ooh, a tiny light bright. And that's exactly what it is. I'll show Eli what it is here.

I've got a picture for you, mate. A tiny little light bright. So you can get the full size one, but this is a tiny little one, which is, well, it's little. I don't know why I keep going over that. It's a little light bright. I just got to stop talking. You should stop talking sometimes. I know.

Yeah, it looks like a cute item. Yeah, unopened. Oh, yeah, no, it's minting box, as we like to say here. How is it powered? Do you have to put batteries that are not included? Two double A's. You stick it in, the back lights up, you stick the little coloured pegs in. They light up, make patterns.

Now I'm going to go three pounds. Three pounds 50 for that. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Big spender in his head. I go three pounds even on this one. Oh, I like it. Three even.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, feeling threatened. I'm feeling threatened. I'm feeling quite sweating. Big dogs here. The big dogs here.

All right. They still call you dog meat, by the way. Did they still call you dog meat on the show? Everyone's in a while. I haven't heard dog meat in a while, but yeah, Henry used to call me dog meat for forever before he even knew that anything about Fallout 3 or how much I love that game or anything like that. Because dog, he just, because dog originally comes from a boy in his dog, I think. Right, okay.

Yeah. The sci-fi, the post-apocalyptic film with Don Johnson. Yeah. I never actually saw that. That was one that my dad related to me, because it was on movie drone. Remember movie drone? Yes, Alex Cox TV show.

Which was like a late night where they'd show feature films on the BBC. But cult films. Like films that wouldn't usually get shown. Colt films. So that's where you'd see repo men or, you know, that kind of shit. Those kind of less than mainstream. And it was presented by that guy. Alex Cox, the director.

Who directed the Sid and Nancy film. And repo man, funny enough. And repo man, yeah. But that's what my dad saw it. He wouldn't let me watch it. And he said it was very sexual. Aren't they all sexy in that? But what, did he describe the sex scenes too?

No, he didn't. So you didn't have to watch it. No, every post-apocalyptic movie does have a lot of sex. And like for some reason there was a... Because I'd love post-apocalyptic movies, but they jam sex in there sideways, no matter what. It's just something that happened. You've got to do something at the end of the world,

and it's going to be eating and thought. is going to be the two primary forms of entertainment in the apocalypse. Having said that... Maybe both at the same time. There's not a lot of sex in the Mad Max films, is there? I mean, no. I've seen films similar to titles to Mad Max that did have a lot of sex in, but, you know, mad sex beyond thunder thighs.

I haven't got, no, I've got it. It fits the genre if you think about it, because if there was a post-apocalypse, there wouldn't be a lot to do, would there? I just said that. You just said that. Yeah, I had fucking eating... Because you're not coming through here, mate. I can't hear you.

That's the reason why you're ignorant. Great, got it. Fine. Right, we'll move on to the next item. Go in. Small box. Oh, oh. Folded binoculars.

There you go. It's called the price of shite for a reason, and here is a piece of shite. It is a tiny little pair of folded binoculars. Eli, they look like this. Actually, it's kind of wonderful, actually. Yeah, they work great. Oh, they look good.

And their peak district, their peak district branded. So they would have come from a gift shi- shop. Probably. Probably at some point. In the peak district. Someone went to the peak district with those on and saw a fern or a rusty shovel. The peak district, it's Britain's largest nature reserve

and national park. And the peak district. And binocular empire. But these are simple, cheap things. They can't be worth all that much. So how much do you think they are, Marcus? This is screaming a pound to me. This is definitely screaming

maybe a pound 25. I would go for, because I'm going to have to explain now the quids gambit to you. Oh no, don't. It's not fair. This is an extra rule that has come up over the years because over the years of playing the price of shite, there have been so many items that have been one pound or a quid

as we call it. It's a common price of shite. Then there was a sort of extra meta game where if you did, if it was a quid and you got it right, you got two extra petrings. You were confident that this item was going to be a pound. So you could. But we're not because I said we're not doing that. I want to keep things simple. So he's going to save 125.

He's saying 125. What about you? I'll say £1.50. One £1.50 again? Oh. Right. I believe we've got one more item left, have we? One more item, yeah. I think so. I'm guessing that this one's because I think I'm sitting at around five pounds when it comes to my addition. Actually, you've got £11 at the moment.

So you're over estimated. I've gone way over. But don't worry about that too much yet. All right. Last item. Color box. Egbert and Friends Okay, so this

It is going to be some sort of figurine Yeah Of some sort Of some sort But what kind could it possibly be It's so tiny It's huh And it's this Eli I'll show you

Oh an alien eggbert It's an alien chicken egg thing in a weird shell It's weird It's Egbert and Friends by Malcolm Baumer So apparently this man Malcolm Baumer You can see there's many different kinds of chickens that were eggs. There's a copper.

There's a bride. There's a golf ball. And a mountain climber. All the different types of humans that exist as ugly chickens coming out of eggs. Paul, pull. The bodybuilder one is called exertion. Exertion. It's a good gag that.

I prefer the one with the tools that says black and pecker. I think if nothing else, the pun work is fantastic here. The thing is, I look at these and go, who is fucking buying this shit for their family? What about the, is that a wrestler, W.W. Egg, as in world wrestling egg. Worldwide egg. All right. So it's from 99, because Balmer apparently signed every one of them personally.

Copyright, Balmer. He's obviously very proud of this Eggbert collection. And by the way, I did some research on this guy. He doesn't want anything else other than this Egbert range. I mean, if you have an idea like that, if you have an idea like that, why think of anything else ever again? Yeah. You don't need to have another thought in your life ever again after Egbert. Yeah.

Okay. This thing, I love it. It's really nice, actually. It's very pleasant to look at and hold, honestly. It's very satisfying weight to it. You know, it is what it is. I'm going to go, however, for this Egbert and friends, I'm going to go

2 pound 25 Oh okay 225 Eli what about you 175 175 oh it's thrilling I think that's all of it also I like the fact that the little pamphlet

comes with member benefits Like you're going to join the Eggbert and Friends gang And you get a special piece And what I want best is The Quarterly magazine Eggbert's World What the fuck is going into that magazine Every three months

I don't understand Are you getting cartoons recipes. Well that actually was it started as Eggbert's world but also it had to, you know when they merged these magazines. So that actually used to be Eggbert's quarterly and

Eggbert after dark Do you want me to interrupt you and stop this? No, that was good. That worked that worked as a bit. Did it? Yes it did. Fine. This reminds me, the members thing, because they used to do that with all sorts of toys and collectibles, didn't they? You could join a club.

And it reminds me I went to see a screening of Hammer Horrors Dracula AD 72. Oh, it's a great one. Yeah, yeah, yes. And did you know they had a... Because that film was Hammer Horror trying to jump on the Satanism fad that was in horror at the time, right?

And it's loosely based on the high gay vampire story. I love that story. But there was a little short film that they'd show before screenings of Dracula 72, which was like a member's thing. come and join the Satan's Club. Really? Yes. In the UK?

Yeah, it was a little short film like to get people like get the teenagers to join the Satan club or what? No, you had to say the oath. It was like a blood oath you repeated after him. On screen. Yeah, he was like a Dracula kind of guy got out and went, join Satan's club, ah, or something.

I saw it. He had to, the guy who was showing that, doing the screening of the film, he had to actually recreate it. So he recreated it with puppets because it's hard to get hold of the original footage. Yeah, short film.

There you go. Just what I'd mention that. It's incredible. So all the prices are now in. Now, do you want to review? Should we go through the items in order and then review the price? Well. Okay.

Yeah? So we're going to do run down the prices we've done so far. This is your opportunity to change them. Okay. So the first thing, we're not going to go by the order we did it in because I've just written it down as they are here. So the skull, Marcus said 375. Eli said 150.

Are you happy with those prices? I'm happy. Yeah. You're locking them in. I'm going to take it down to 3 even. Three even. The binoculars, Eli, you said 150. Marcus said 125.

Are you happy with those prices? I'm happy. Yeah? I'm going to kick it down to an even pound because I know I'm over here. That's what you said first. That's what you said first. I have to take everything down a bit.

Just as an aside, Eli, really hope he beat you. I just really, really hope he beat you and beat you good. Okay. In a way that makes you feel bad about even taking part in this tonight. Like in a way that shames you. I can leave now, Paul. I mean, I can just go. I mean, we could have had this discussion 11 years ago.

Right, next one. Egbert. Marcus said 225. Eli said 175. Are you happy with those prices, guys? I am. Yeah, I'm actually going to stick with that. I read a little bit of the Egbert pamphlet that came from.

This is such, like, so fucking British. Like, why do you always, like, there's people from all walks of life have been charmed by Egbert's cheeky humor and slightly correct? Like, why do you always have to tell me it's funny? You always have to tell me, I can't just see you know you're supposed to laugh at this. It's cheeky. It's what we call chummy. copy, right? When we see things

that like milk or, you know, the basics and it's like, here's a cheeky bit of milk to cheer up your Dave thundsters and you think it's your fucking milk. It's a real thing

with British food products fucking chummy copy all sorts of trying to be funny chummy copy. Right, right. Light Bright. Marcus said 350. Eli said three pound

are you locking those in? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a, that's a, yeah. I'm taking down to 250. Oh, he's going down to 250.

And then finally, The Carney book, Eli said 230, Marcus said 250. I'm sticking there with my price there. I'm going to take it down to two. Oh, two on the nose. Right, here's where I offer up for twins. There we go. Okay.

And I've got the receipts here as well, the little sticky receipts to prove that it's real. All right, just so you know. Although we shouldn't because he cheats all the time. I absolutely cheat most weeks. So none of this matters. All of this, none of this matters. It's great. So no one needs to go home angry, although I'd like you to go home angry.

Right. The school. Marcus said three. Eli said 150. The price was two pounds. Two pounds. So no petwings there at all. Sorry, moving on.

The binoculars. Marcus, one pound, Eli, one pound 50. The binoculars were one pound 50. Eli gets two betwiens there, which is very disappointing to hear to me. But it is what it is. This is how the cookie grumbles. It's just experience. Egbert.

225, says Marcus. 175 says Eli. Egbert. It cost $250. So a point. A betwing for Marcus is first. Yeah. He's off the board.

He's got a betwiang. No double donuts today at least. I've got to stop headbutting this microphone. Right. The light bright. Marcus said 350. Eli said 250. The light bright was three pounds on the nose.

Nobody. So no one. No one. You're both wider than Mark. There finally going down to the book. Marcus said 250. Eli said to pound. The book was 50p.

It was the cheapest thing of all. Wow. Because people don't like books in this country anymore, so we're burning them or giving them away. All right. But hey, I'm just happy that I got one. I'm happy I got on the board. You will be surprised how many people who have played this

who haven't even had that. And the fact is, you know, he did 50% better than you, which is still good odds, I think. I don't know. No, it's 100%. You're doing an RFK Junior now. It's 100%. It's double.

If I say it confidently enough, he's really bad in maths. He's really bad. It's not math and maths. It's numbers. That's the difference. It's fantastic. Right. Next, what else in the box?

Let's get in this. Oh, go on. Records. Some records for you. Now, open it up. See what's in there. Tell me which one you want to get started with. Yeah, there's quite a broad selection there, really.

Yeah. Oh, my. Okay. So it's Orville, Keith Harris, and Orville doing white Christmas. And what I wish for Christmas, it's got a horrible bird. Yeah, that's awful. Can I guess before I hear what the singing is going to sound like? I was literally going to ask you what you think that bird sounds like.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Something like that. Similar. But can I just say, what you? you're about to hear is far more traumatic than that. This bird haunts our collective childhood hauntology. It's close to being like a slender manny kind of thing in the UK at this point. Your impression was too close to Donald.

Yeah, yeah. But definitely in the register. In the register. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm Christmas. Perhaps you'll leave and let me stay Christmas. It's always... That's enough.

That's enough. You've heard it all. I wasn't that far off. Yeah. It's fucking God awful. They were... Oval was huge in our childhood. Huge.

It was effectively a kid's thing, but he got a primetime Saturday night BBC One show with songs and dance. and sketches and guests. But it was fucking awful. Like, not funny, not creative, bad ventriloquism. Because basically his whole schick was, Keith Harris would hold the bird,

and the bird would go, I can't fly! You can't fly! I can't fly! I can't fly! Why can't you fly? I can't fly! It's recursive.

He's needy. He's an emotional vampire of a bird. It's a needy little, little fucker. And also, another thing that makes him unpleasant, I'm sorry. I know, you know, he's a baby. He has a nappy on.

Yeah. He has a nappy and that's where Keith's hand goes. That's basically, yeah. So, but he harrisy duck. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm seen it. It does have a, oh, it's got a gigantic safety pin on it. Yeah.

Yeah. And the nappy in place. So is Orville specifically a Christmas themed bird? No. No. The problem is, in the UK, there was a habit, a curse of like entertainers trying to release novelty hits. And unfortunately, Orville had a huge hit around about Christmas.

With his song, I wish I could fly. Which is him going, I wish I could fly right up to the sky, but I can't. You can. I can. And that's the fucking song. And British people took it to their chest and their hearts and made it number one, I think, or at least it top ten. Well, I can also say, y'all are fucking suckers for Christmas.

Yes. Even more than we are. Like, man, y'all love a Christmas special. The Christmas number one in the UK for at least until recently has been a big deal. Like if you made the number one in Christmas in the UK, that was it. You were cemented in your legacy as a pop artist. Yeah, going all the way back to like Slade, right? Oh, yeah.

And the interesting thing about that track was it was originally a B-side. It wasn't meant to be an A, but it got played by the radio stations, as is the way things used to go back then. And that's how it got its notoriety and then became a huge fucking it and has paid for their houses ever since, I'd imagine. It's actually quite a good, the way he does the sort of John Lennon-star, thing there. Who you're talking to?

Are you talking about? Slade. Oh, I think about awful, the bird. No. I was like, what do you mean, John Lennon? We've moved on to Slade's huge Christmas hit. I wish it could be Christmas every day.

It's Christmas. No, that is. What's Wizards one? Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day, yeah. But no, have Merry Christmas. Oh, that's stating, oh, they're all fucking... On the, uh, what is it? The music podcast that I do, uh,

no dogs in space, we're doing, we're working on New York Dolls right now. Oh, really? their big glam band and we were getting into the British glam scene because they tried breaking New York dolls in like 72 or 73 just as like glam was starting to come up

and I did fall into this rabbit hole of like why did so many fucking glam bands do Christmas songs but I guess it was just every it just happened to be like if you were a British artist you took a stab getting that Christmas hit I guess everyone tried it and also it was very commercial

it was very corporate and manufactured the whole of the glam scene in Britain. There was one or two producers who were behind, producer songwriters who were behind so many of these individual acts. You know, like they did with sort of pop music later on, you had these Svangali figures and they just put out a group. Yeah. In that style of manufacturing.

That's when that really started to kick in with that era. The most famous glamour is my friend and yours, Gary Glitter. That's a whole different discussion that you've got time for right now. Yeah. I'm sure you've got a three-part series about that coming up in a few years. Well, I mean, we did just a few months ago do our Jimmy Saville series. Yes. I heard it, Marcus.

I have to say, it was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Generally brilliant. Oh, thank you. I was shocked and I heard facts that I'd never even... Just the way you put it all together was brilliant. Can I just use this moment as a perfect segue to absolutely. to ask you to look at the thing

there's a single in there called Clunk Click if that rings a bell for you right now. Oh, fuck me. God damn it. You can't escape. We've lived with this beast for our whole lives, right? This hangs over our country. And I like to throw it back every now and then across the pond.

Jesus fucking Christ, here it is. It's the next one up. Clunk Click by Abby Road featuring John S. Wood. Now all you need to know about this is, effectively this doesn't exist because yes it was released yes there's an album and the guy called John S. Wood

however John S. Wood doesn't exist was a pseudonym for whatever person they got in to sing this. It is raised for charity to obviously support the clunk-click thing but if you listen to it, what do you think the song's going to sound like before you even hear it? Clunk-click, Abby Rogue featuring St. John Wood,

973. I'm guessing, well I know, I'm familiar with Jimmy Saville's other works like jingle-dangle-dial jewelry like dingo dangle dungo d'ry. It's very abrasive. Extremely, most of his music is very abrasive. You heard Ahab or Arab. Yeah, Ahab's A-Hab was another one.

I'm guessing if it's called Abbey Road, yeah, we're probably looking at mid-period Beatles. Like kind of a... I'm guessing it's going to be closer to Sergeant Pepper than it is to Abbey Road. Find out. I'll hope that I like you Clunk click every trip

That's what I'll do Clunk it every morning Click it every night And when I finish Clunking and clicking I know it'll be alright That's why I clunk Click every trip

I'm to do that I love you My alarm goes off at seven I climb down from my bank Wash my teeth Come in my hair And then it's time to clunk Oh yes Oh, yeah's all clunk

Click every trip Oh Clunk click Every trip That's what I'll do That's there I mean I don't see It's okay

So it's octopuses garden They just fucking ripped off Octopus's Garden And made a song About fucking seatbelts Yeah And threw a bit of no coward in there To make it sound educated

That kind of Vordaville The megaphone Microphone It is just the whole. No, but I've got my theory about why he's called John S. Wood. Because Abbey Road Studios is in St. John's Wood. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

So I think that's a play on that. It's the neighbourhood. But what was interesting is that this isn't the only clunk-click track. There is another one that I sent you. That isn't a vinyl, but is an MP3 that I sent, called Clunk-Click, the Buxton Boys, 1973, if you want to have a little quick listen to that. Sure. Actually, I like this.

This is pretty good. Yeah. It's a little bit Sesame Street, isn't it? Yeah, it is a little bit of Sesame Street. Yeah, I can groove it. I can groove to that a little bit. All right. Yeah, that's, actually, that one's better.

I like that. Yeah. The problem is, the problem is this. I did a bit of research on this Buxton's track, and once again, it's another bunch of no-bonds really been given any proper credit, apart from the producer here. It's a studio. So we don't know who sang it.

However, it was meant to be part of the clunk click exercise about seatbelting cars. Yes, we know all this. However, this particular tracks, difference. Because when I looked at the label for it to see, you know, who had made this, this came up on it, which really threw me. So it says, clunk click, all artist's royalties from this record to be donated to the Stoke, Mandeville Hospital Caravan Fund. Right? Oh, my God. The Caravan Fund.

Caravan fund. There was never, based on all the research I could do. That's him. You know, that's, Jimmy. That's Saville. He goes to him. Because the end, it's caravan outside. So it was money raising him to what, keep his caravan outside the hospital. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Yeah. And then, just to put the triumbrance of Jimmy Saville out there and move on, right? There's one audio clip I want you to listen to. It's called Clunk Click with Maximilian and Jimmy Saville. And what you're about to listen to now is an advert from the 70s with Jimmy Saville. Saville and he interviews a guy who did not wear his seatbelt and had a severe accident.

And I want you to listen to this. We'll listen to the whole thing because it's only about a minute tops. And just listen to the choice of words Jimmy Saville uses to speak to a man in a wheelchair and go, yes, you are divorced from reality. So go on, listen to that clip. Clunk, click. What does it mean? Yeah.

Clunk the car door. Click the seatbelt. Do it every time you get in your car. it can save you a lot of pain and misery, but you don't have to take my word for it, take the word of someone who found out the hard way. Well, Maximilian, old fruit, you will not be in any discothex for a little while, will you?

No. What is it that brings you into a chair this way? Well, my girlfriend was giving me a lift home one night. We'd only gone about 200 yards down the road when we had this accident, and I broke my neck. You broke your neck? Yes. And not wearing a seatbelt at the time?

No. Now, you broke your neck. What does that add up to physically? It means I've lost the use of my hands and my legs are paralysed. So, ladies and gentlemen, it's clunk, click, every trip. Clunk the car door, click the seatbelt. And if only everybody would do that, every trip, even though it's only a couple of hundred yards, then it would say 15,000 of you being killed or seriously injured every year. So it's clunk, click, every trip.

Clunk, click, every trip. It's so weird to hear and speak to someone in a wheelchair and say, you're not going to any discothex any time soon. He has literally zero empathy in his voice. There is zero. I'm pretty sure. None.

Jimmy Saville tuned out of that guy's plight the minute he said his hands didn't work. Just because he goes, well, you can't help me out then. Yeah. It's Jimmy Saville, it's, it's so incredible how much he was able to get away with that. We were talking about the, what do you call it, chummy copy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, that was his entire fucking gig. Yeah. Was that sort of like, you know, I'm irreverent, you know, I can go in and I can say these horrible things. But I, everyone's fine with it. Everyone's cool with it because there's no way he can actually be that horrible in real life. Exactly. God damn he wants. But that goes on to this very day.

Some of the stuff in your series about Prince Charles, that has never, that has never filtered to us. And that is still being covered up by the media here. This is what I was going to say. For sure. Because when you tackle Jimmy Saville, it's interesting to. hear it from an American perspective, because from a UK perspective, it was almost like the joke was out in the open because he was so weird that he couldn't possibly be that weird, if that makes sense. It was always like, we always saw him as a joke. I know like he was popular and famous

and had power and pull and all these kind of things. But ultimately, I think the most of this country saw him as a joke and an ineffectual joke. And maybe that's the trick he pulled off. It is that. But it's also the network. It's the network with the police, high-level police. it's like big time conspiracy. It's just funny here in an American perspective on this because we lived with a version of Jimmy Saville that was successful but pathetic like we both looked up and down to him.

And then when he had his burial, it was almost like the Queen's fucking funeral where people were like, oh my God. But then it was a matter of months before. They fucking smashed his fucking gravestone up. Well, when you have literally countless incidences, I mean, it's going to become, I still think the most shocking thing

and I think that sums him up and I think again you said this at the end of your series was that when they found him dead and he had his fingers crossed it's like you know exactly what that says about him and his legacy so he was betting on it yeah like he was completely betting on it's like

oh gap I hope I can just say I'm sorry at the end and they'll let me through it yeah it's fucking yeah well it's crazy because I'd never I'd never heard of him until I actually was with a woman and like lived

third everything from Bradford. Right. For, you know, we were together for years. And she would tell me all about Jimmy Saville. And it was just insane that there was this character that nobody in America knew about. Nobody in America knew who the fuck Jimmy said. Unless maybe if you were, you know, just a massive Anglophile, you might know who Jimmy Saville is. But, you know, he was never known here at all in any capacity.

Probably for the best. In fact, it's sad that more people know now because of this than anything else. It's like that's the legacy. And that's just, again, we can't get into this because obviously we've got lots of the mood to do and New York Times. But like we just look at our whole U-Tree, Operation U-Tree thing that happened in the UK

where they were pulling out presenters and DJs and TV stars left right and centre. Stuart Hall is another completely vile human being who ran in similar lanes to... You mentioned Rolf Harris. And Harris. Yeah. Rolf Harris, you mentioned he was like the...

Pymie Kangaroo dance for it. I think he said the Fred West of Australia. The fact was he was a huge star in Britain. He moved over here in the early 60s. So he was here. And he had Christmas specials. And I have a good friend of mine who went and met him and recalls to this day this look that Rolf Harris gave him,

this kind of dead-eyed psychopathic look. Like the mask dropped. Because again, he was a guy who worked with kids a lot, but then proclaimed to not really like kids and only did it for the education or whatever. He used to present cartoons. I love cartoons. It's the only time I got to see cartoons.

Tom and Jerry in the like. So anyway, that's Britain. Right, we've got one more record in there and then I think we're closer wrapping up. So let's have a look at that last record. This is a really quick one we can get through. Last record, coast to coast. Let's jump the broomstick.

And roller coaster rock. I got this for two reasons. One, it's called Coast to Coast. And I thought, how cute there's a band that has the same name as the radio station and the show, you know, and all that kind of stuff. And also the songs called Let's Jump the Broom Stick. What do you think the music star was like before you listen to it then?

Well, I know let's jump the, jump in the broomstick was an old tradition amongst enslaved people in America. Yeah. And, you know, when they would get married, they would jump over a broomstick. Oh, I never knew that. Yeah. So I would imagine. This is British, though. It is.

It's a British band. That's the thing. It's a British band. And it's, yeah, okay, and it's Polydor from 1981. With the plastic molded label, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's always a sign of that terrible quality that they did that. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Think of the waste of plastic. You have to make a sort of mold for the actual label as well. Oh, yeah, true, true, true, yeah. Okay.

It's produced by a man named Harold Carter, written by a man named Robbins. The other side that's written, Roller Coaster Rock is written by a dynamite team called Dappen and Snoot. Dapin and snoot Do you know them? No I was going to say I do know coast to coast I played when I DJed the other night

I played a coast to coast record A disco mix Oh really? Yes All right Well then let's let Marcus Listen to a little bit of this then This is coast to coast

That's about what I expected That'll do you I think All right Yep That's about what I expected Yeah Because they've Sort of like 50s type style

But also like glamy But also punky Yeah 50s revival in Britain British pop music going from the 70s right into the early ages. Shawaddy Wadi. He had a guy called Shakin Stevens, essentially an Elvis impersonator. From Wales.

Yeah, that sort of falls into that kind of category, doesn't it? Yeah, it's a little punkier because when we had those, because we also, was Sean on our, would they British or American? American. They were American. They didn't travel. They were American. They were too much, I don't think.

Were they only ones on the Woodstock? Who all come on and they go, oh, they're on the Woodstock. Yeah, that's all. Yeah, they're shot on now. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, we did it. The only Elvis revivals we had in America were more country-based. Oh.

And more like Orion. You should check out. Oh, yes. I saw the documentary. That is a great story. Documentary is fantastic. But yeah, it was more on the country side of things when it came to that. Those records are fantastic.

Thank you very much. No worries. This is the only real hit they had. And it was came out in June 1981. Apparently, they had another track called the Hucklebook. But it goes high as five. Huckleback, again, is another reference to a sort of Americana sort of a dance. I like American things.

I like American things. I like Hapscatch. I like hoopla. I like rugby. I like scrimidst. I like American things like gun violence. I love it. I love it.

Bit of politics. A little bit of politics ladies. I'm a little. That's very nice. No, every time I hear a British person doing an American accident, it always just sounds like, hello, I would like a ham. I would like a hamburger, please. I work for the CIA.

Right, cool. I think we're on to the last little bits in the box now. And there's not much too to get into, but I think these are all kind of just for you to enjoy. What we got there. Oh, the unexplained. So you know about the unexplained? I love these.

Yeah, the unexplained, yeah, volume 13. Yeah, there's obviously tons of these. They're all built up from magazines, aren't they? And then compiled into these huge tomes. Well, in, I actually have a full set of these. Oh. Because I'm, now that, because it looks like, I've never actually seen like one of these before,

but the style, like the font style, the way it's set up, I'm pretty sure in America these were released as man, myth and magic. Oh, okay. So yeah, just copy and paste it over, given a different name. I remember getting those as a child, and I had the first few issues.

The first one, I believe, had that, what's the really famous Yeti footage? Oh, the one where the type of this? It's now been debunked, Yeah, the Patterson Gimley. Yeah, that's it. Close it off. Yeah, close enough.

They've all come out and said, we've all come out and said, we've faked it now, haven't they, with that one? I don't know. Yeah, I believe so. I got rid of my cryptid newsletter a long time ago because it all got really political, so I don't know what the moves and shakers are. I was thinking when you said favourite cryptid,

are the men in black? Does that they count as a cryptid? Debatable? Debatable, yeah, I would agree. Some people actually do debate as to whether the men in black do count as cryptids or not. But most say they're more extraterrestrial than than cryptid, although I have heard the cryptid argument.

I see. I can understand that because of their overall shapelessness. I personally find them the most creepy and weird. Yeah. I like those men in black stories. They're really weird. Give me brain. Out of Bender stories.

Yeah. So much fun. It's so psychedelic and weird. Yeah. Well, there was a story in there that I wish we had time to get into, but the reason why I gave you this book and sent you it's because, you know when you think you look at the landscape of the paranormal and the supernatural and it's something that I spent five years as a professional ghost hunter and it's it led to a really

strange part and time of my life so I've been fascinated but my love of it all comes from these kind of books right you think you know the lay of the land but then there's always I why have I never heard that story before why is it like if I look up that story it's not online but it is in a book like this you know there's like a great story in there and I can't remember the guy exactly but it's a guy called Adamski Scottish guy. There is an author called Adamski

as well who researched UFOs but this is like I think Victor there was also a pop act Adamski Zigmund

and Seal Zigmund Jan Adamski 56 this happened in the in 1980 June basically what happened was he went missing and then five days later

turned up on the top of a trash heap with his wallet his shirt and his shoes missing but still his jacket and his trousers he had weird marks

on his body and even though he'd been missing for five days he only had one day's worth of hair growth. And so he also didn't look like he can't. Is that a scientific measure? Yeah, it's a new story.

I mean, what I'm saying is they still couldn't figure out how this guy died and got to the top of this heap because it didn't look like he climbed up it either. Oh, he was dead as well. So he was just on it. Whether he was dropped on it, we don't know. But then that led to the story of maybe he was abducted by aliens. And then they dropped them there after kicking him out the UFO. In 1956?

Yeah. So that's in there. No, I've got it open right now. Oh, okay. Yeah. You'd mark that. Yeah. And it also follows it up in another.

chapter a little bit later on with us a little bit more the kind of TV background stuff. It's incredible. It's a, it sort of reminds me of the Elisa Lam story. Yeah, it's like that. It's like I didn't know that story existed. I only found out about it in this book. Yeah. No, these are, these are incredible. These books, we've gotten so many great ideas from just flipping through these types of books and just kind of starting with one story and then it goes off into another place. Have you heard of these? I've got this here. It is the Usborne Book of the Paranormal. No, I didn't know Usborn was actually a real name outside of peep show. No, no, it's a real thing because they made educational things like science and maths and geography,

but they also made paranormal. And this one's like legendary. I remember getting this from the library. This shat me up. This, that actual book. Yeah, it's got all the classics in, you know, it's got the... Hawley Manor is that? Bawley Manor.

Bawley Manor, yeah. Oh, I love Boreley. That was such a good story. And then the village with the most ghosts in the world, which is... That's the most haunted village of all time. Which we visited recently for a podcast We went to the nearby Screaming Woods to investigate the screaming woods for a bit.

Nothing happened that a bunch of Yocles threatened us. I mean, and also there were no shops. Screaming Woods? Yeah, they're called the screaming wood, Dering Woods or the screaming woods. Yeah, Pliggly. Apparently the most haunted village in the whole of the world, apparently.

They did have a very strange acoustic in the woods. Yeah. The interesting about this is not just the stories, but it was the artwork that grabbed us. It was like, oh look, I remember seeing that vivid, one-eyed, one-fucking thing or whatever. It's incredible. Because you've got to get hold of a copy of these.

They, I mean, if you haven't seen them. Or this one. The Osborne. This is the Osborne guide to the supernatural world. Yeah, they had ghosts. They had a UFO one. And they had like, what was the,

Vampires, myths, creatures. And this is a compendium of all those ones made into one book with drawings and facts. And so this was like. Vampires, ghosts and mysterious powers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all of this, right, so it's the drawings, it's a story.

But also, we had things like this, the Hamley book of ghosts. And like this is Pac-with stories. I've never heard anywhere else, but apparently with all the rage in the late 70s. And one of my favorite things in this, if I can find it, is Harry Price has a little, there's a little chapter about Harry Price in this. I just need to find if I can find him. Is Harry Price one of the Investor Ghost investigators?

He's like the, in the UK, certainly. He is the prominent OG ghost hunter. But he's not the Warrens. The Warrens were someone else, right? Yeah, Warrens are American. Yeah, the Warrens were probably the most significant. successful con artists in the paranormal world. Price, however, he, I like Price.

Yeah, no, Harry Price was like a stalwart. He was, because I heard just your take on the Bally Rectory, right? And that whole story. And it does seem like towards the end of his life, he was drumming up a bit more salacious entertainment from that because he needed the money and it was all a bit. Basically, I think he threw away his goodwill and respect on Boree Rectory towards end of his life.

But in this book, it has a little breakdown of his life, but in this little box here, it's got the Harry Price guide to ghost hunting what you need as a ghost hunter according to Harry Price. And I love this. Because it is so analog. Because these days you got, you know, Zach Baggins with all the fucking toys and things that don't work and don't do anything. Whereas Harry Price says, bring with you soft, felt undershoes used for creeping. So you don't make any noises, right? Bring steel measuring tape for testing the thickness of walls surgical tape for sealing windows Oh yeah, that has other uses. Yes. We're not getting into that. A set of tools, don't know what that means. Then if it means a kill kit bag, just a set of tools.

Yeah. A reflex camera with flash bulbs for indoor and outdoor photography, obviously. A small portable telephone for communicating with an assistant. I mean, how much would that cost back then? But back then, a lot of money. If you're going to fit up... A field telephone. phone. And he's, when he says small, when he says small, he means,

fucking massive phone. That takes like a literal punch to fucking dial. Yeah. A notebook with red, blue and black pencils. A bowl of mercury for detecting tremors. You don't want to be handling that. And it doesn't say, no. No, wonder he thought there were ghosts everywhere.

He went mercury mad. Yeah, he got Mad Hatter's syndrome. A film camera with remote control. A packet of graphite for. developing fingerprints, a sensible ball of string, not a crazy ball of string, a sensible ball of string. It's a much. If it was crazy string, you could just have it in a can. In a can and it was spray, yeah, but that was 100 years later.

And the reason why he said sensible is because someone once brought an unreasonable amount of string to a ghost hunt. And so he's like, no, I have to say it's a sensible amount. It's not regulation for ghost hunting. It's a nebulous science at best. Bandages, IOD and a flask of brandy in case anyone faints. And he took it very seriously. That was Harry Price, according to this book, the Hamley Book of Ghosts.

And then finally, that's incredible. I'm just showing off my little collection. This one, Hans Holzer, who is a fascinating character when it comes to the paranormal. Yeah, I know Hans Holzer. He basically had the Ghost Whisperer for the paranormal before the Warrens and things like that. He married science, but also the psychosocialological elements of the paranormal. So what it meant for culture and society, rather than just the ghost story itself. But most of this is bollocks.

But anyway, outside of that. Of course, yeah. It's good reading it. This is what we grew up in books like that. That's fantastic. But the other book that y'all gave me is this looks incredible. Man Bites Man, the scrapbook of an English eccentric. This looks so fucking cool.

This book, I had to buy myself again because I couldn't bear to part with it, but I wanted you to have it. But once I sent it to, I just bought another copy online because I love this book. We touched on this briefly before in the podcast, but effectively it's compiled by a guy called George Ives, who in the mid-1800 was a gay man who was advocating for gay rights. He was a bit of a layabout. He did odd jobs and hung about with the aristocracy, so he had inns. But effectively, he was a note-taker, a diary-taker, a press cutter.

And so that book is like all the press cuttings of interesting stories from around the world in the end of the 1800s beginning of 19-early, 1990s. And it's crazy. Dentist robs women of teeth to satisfy a craving. Yes. You see what I mean? It's like when people say Florida Man, it's like, hey, do you want to go back in time? Because, hey, the Florida Man ain't got shit on the dentist who steals women's teeth.

This one just says, fed son like a bird. That's it. I can see. I can picture that. Does that mean like they chewed it and spat it into their mouth? No, he's in a massive cage and he gets little seeds. Exactly what it is. Yeah.

A mother's devotion to her 17-year-old son who had never spoken since birth and for whom she masticated food so that she could feed him like a bird. I see. Was described at Hull's coroner's court. It's all sex stuff, but. basically. It's not all. The inquest was on John William Bibby.

His name was Johnny Bibby. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it? Who could hate a Bibby? Little Birdboy Bibby. Yeah, little bird boy Bibby. That's how he was known

from forever more in London at that point. So it's a book full of that. I didn't want to go through it again because we have covered it on the podcast before, but I did think it was worth your time and you might love that book. I will absolutely chair. This is incredible.

This is just the exact type of stuff that I love. Yeah. This is so cool. Thank you. No, our pleasure. As I say, spending the time with us today to do this podcast, because me and Eli have been huge fans of the last podcast network in general. I was listening way back with the round table.

So I was... Oh, shit. Just like from a personal point of view to see you build this from a small dive bar under a comedy club in New York to where you are now with everything. Netflix and the Netflix and the station. It's just, from our point of view, it's like an independent podcast production that have been doing it.

It is just us. When you see Cheap Show, you're seeing all of it. right now. And we've been going for 11 years and, you know, 500 episodes and crazy shit over the last 10 years. And part of it is because of the example you set with this network without trying to sound too daft about it. Hey, no, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. And honestly, like it was, um, we were popular like roundtable and last podcast. Everything got popular in England first. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. We, we, we, we had our biggest earliest, our biggest early fans that were like really into everything that we did.

They were almost all British. They were very few American fans. So yeah, y'all were the ones who gave us the, y'all gave us the juice to keep going. Because y'all were the ones that noticed first what we were doing. So it was very cool. No, I have to say, it's our pleasure. So thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. It does mean a lot to us.

I'm just glad we hope you've had a good time with us today. I've had a great time. This has been really fun. Thank you so much. This has been a really fun day. Thank you. And now I've got all this British shit to eat. It's amazing.

I know. We apologise if we put you into anaphylactic shock from the back of this. I believe it's all still in date, so you will be fine with that. Diabetic shock. What did I say? Anaphylactic. What's that? That's when you have an allergy to a nut say.

Yeah, if I'm allergic. Oh. Just, it's fine, Paul. Well, now I feel stupid. You said some was quite a strong end. It wasn't strong. It was never strong. It's never strong.

And then, like, like, always, Eli comes in, rolls his pants down very slowly, wait until my mouth is at the most open. And then takes a big. metaphorical shit all I put in. Oh, well, I'm glad it was a shit and not the other. Anyway, Marcus, great to meet you. Great to meet you all too. Thank you.

Thank you again. And, yeah, I don't know how to end. Say goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. See you. Thanks.