CheapShow - Ep 497: Snip Snip

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

With Special Guest: Ethan Lawrence He’s back again, the cheeky chap who likes to take time out from his telly shows to join Cheapshow for more cheap thrills! Paul & Eli are joined by actor Ethan Lawrence (Horrible Histories) for a good, old fashioned edition on the economy comedy podcast. Thankfully, he’s also curated his own Price of Shite for the hosts to battle over. He’s got five charity shop items and ready to hand out p’twings! And oh boy howdy, has Ethan bought some crap for Paul & Eli to price up. Elsewhere in the podcast, it’s time to warm up your taste buds as the terrible trio taste a range of “crispy chicken skins” and a Pepsi drink that is PACKED with caffeine. However, what with Ethan being in charge for a good chunk of this episode, this allows for a bit more argy-bargy between the two main hosts. When Paul doesn’t like what he hears, he’s going to start editing this episode more severely! What a child! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-497-snip-snip GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Right, Ethan, welcome back. But because you've been on the show a few times now, you're no longer classed, strictly speaking, as a special guest. What am I now then? Just an other. A house pet. Yeah. An incontinent dog.

Yeah, we haven't had a pet on the show. You want to be a dog. You want to be my dog. You like to be my dog. No, I'm not talking. Are you talking to him but looking at me? I'm looking. Or are you talking to me, but you're talking about him?

I'm looking at you and I'm talking to you. And you're saying, I'll be a dog. You suggested you be my, by fish dog. By fish dog. My fish dog. My fish. dog. My fish dog.

Half fish, half dog. My fish dog. Before we get a guest, with this denigrating of everyone. I'm not denigrating. I'm saying he's part of the family now. I'm an incontinent dog. Yeah.

I'm saying he's part of the family now. Bok, bach, bach, he said. Yeah. Little Ethan or cuddly little scrappy pup pops. I have a suggestion. You know what I like about dogs. What, they're assholes. They're big assholes that you like to lick out.

And then you put shaman. You just, you went straight to. You put cham on, you know, chum on, you know. You wipe your knob. Go on, chum. And then you put little treats up your crack, can you get a dog to fucking do you? Probably, like, there's a whole thing called yes and.

Yes, and you fuck dogs. Oh, it's like second sitting here. I thought we'd roll with the idea of pretending. He was no longer special, because, you know, he's always on the show. I know, but... I don't want to big up his guest, so just, you know, keep him in check and just more relaxed. But no, you just went, oh, yeah, Paul,

you fucking lick a dog's dirty asshole. Oh, Rof-Rof. Isn't that funny? Hey, I was pointing out, poor Ethan. It's one of these ideas of yours. It comes all this way. It's one of these ideas of yours that you don't go with?

Okay. Because you're creatively belligerent. Let's start again then. Okay, right, from the top. Right. Well, no, it's not the same. No, just do it one more time and we'll see how it's like when I play along 100%. Okay, here we go.

So, Ethan, like you've been here before. You're no longer a special guest. You're just part of the furniture now. Like a pet, like a dog. Yeah, like a dog. Yeah, like an incontinent dog. Yeah. Yeah, Ethan.

Welcome to the family, mate. No, you know what? Just say dog fucking. Exactly. No, I have one thing. I have one more things for the cold open. Yeah. Hello, Ethan.

Hello. You'll always be a special guest for me. Why? Just because he's fun. He's a fun guy. No, he's a fun guy. I'm not saying he's not. I'm a mushroom now.

Is that what the stink is? Outstanding in its field. Yes. You don't even need the fucking buildup for those jokes. Oh, oh, oh. New joke for my mate. New joke for my mate. Here we go.

I warned everyone. going to start a podcast. Nobody listened. Yeah, but you know what that is. That's pretty good, isn't it? You know what that is though? It's a kind of pissed poor Bob Monkhouse. Which is what? When I told, when I was growing up, I told everyone I was going to be comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a variation. It's a play. It's a great. It's a great. I'll do a riff on it. I'll do a riff on then. I'll do. I'm gone. That was a riff. I've got to think of a profession that works

within the structure of that joke. He's not going to be able to think of something. He's not going to be able to think of something in time because it is actually quite hard. When I told people I wouldn't be a toilet attendant, they laughed at me. Well, now I take the piss or something. Oh, no, who takes the piss now? Who's taking the piss now? Oh, when I grew up, I told people when I grew up, I wanted to be a urine removal van driver. Well, who's taking the piss now?

A sewage. Yeah, we got there. Can I just say one other thing? No, that's the third or the one other thing. No, because the first. one other thing. I just had that joke was the second other thing and now this is back to the first other thing. I lost interest in your things. Just get off the

I would like to hear your thing. How many times? This is one of those unanswerable questions, right? Yeah. And it just made me think about the infinitude of possibility in this world of ours, mainly through language. I thought to myself of the two word phrase, penis onion today, right? Yeah, good choice. Penice onion. Yeah.

How many times you think in the English-speaking world like this morning, anyone has uttered those words apart from me to myself? I mean, the odds are low. Yeah, but not zero. The odds aren't zero, but there's no way of possibly ever knowing that. Let's ask everyone. I mean, the only way I could fath of it was if someone was making a posh breakfast, a cook breakfast, right?

And someone went, oh, pass me the egg, it's between the onion. And someone would go, penis onion? And then they would go, oh, that's confused. I didn't say that, did I? Do you know what actually was the inspiration for me? You looked at your penis and thought it looks like an onion. No, I was chopping a bunch of spring onions, then I had to go take a wee.

Basically. And I thought, will the smell of the onion get on my wee-wee? Or what the smell of Piscuit on your onions? That's the worst question. Anyway, I washed my hand several times between every event I just described. Good to know.

Right, see you after the music. I'll tell you what, Ethan, you do the intro. Go on. Welcome to Cheap Show, hosted by Paul Gannon and Eli Silverman. Hello. So joined by Pet Dog, special guest, Pinoce, Ethan Lawrence.

Yay. First, I'd like to issue an apology, first of all. Oh, go on. Last time I was on a Cheap Show adjacent project was the live stream that we did in this very room. Oh, yeah, a year or so ago now, yeah. And I'd like to apologise to everyone and listen to that because me and Tom Mayhew were making annoying noises.

And I know that's not why you listen to Cheap Show. I'm sorry about that. People annoyed at their behaviour. I know, I didn't understand it. I didn't understand. No, I don't think anyone did. Not even us. It was all thrown together because we got turfed out of a studio that didn't have into that.

We were delirious. Yes. You were absolutely delirious. Now, here's the other thing. I did a bit of a bit of digging. Yeah. And we didn't plan this. I promise you we didn't plan this because you gave me several dates that we could do this on.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This episode. That we're recording today. We're recording right now. On the, what is it, 18th today? Yep. 20th.

The first time I was ever on Cheap Show was exactly 250 episodes ago. Well, blow my holes out. That's fascinating. Episode 247, What Dreams, might come. God, yeah, you've been banging around for that long now. Yeah, I've been half the life of cheap show essentially. It is crazy. Because he was at the live show for the hundreds, so that makes sense he was here before. That is crazy business.

Then it lined up that well. Well, to celebrate, we've asked you to do Price of Shite this week, haven't we? You have, and I have done that. I will get on to that a little bit later in the show. However, Eli, do you have any business? Oh, hang on. Welcome to the Economy Comedy Podcast. I Paul, God. That's Eli, that's Ethan. That's Ethan. Yeah. He did say that. I know, but I'm just saying it's just saying it. the economy company company podcast where we look through charities of the barcum

and dollar, dollar, dollars, et cetera, yeah, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, riff-a-l-a-l-d-do.

Ruffles, de buffles, mong, goffles. Yeah, that's right. Mouth garbage. Hot, hot off the press. Hot off the moth. Off off the press. Hoth, off the press.

Kit, take me to garbage town. Thank you, Michael. Wait, are you doing some spoof on Night Rider? The Hoff, we said. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Thank you, Kit.

How did he used to talk? Anyway. It was more like, hello, Michael. Who did the voice of Kit? It was an actor who's in everything. He played the teacher in Boy Meets World and all this stuff. He was. Still knocking about.

Yeah, well, I don't know if he was, but he, oh, wait, was he, I might be wrong. Was he Higgins in Magnum? Higgins from Magnum. Yeah. Isn't that the same voice? That seems to make sense to me, yes. Yeah. And apparently, get this.

I mean, I might be confusing a lot of actors right now, but the guy you played Higgins in Magnum, you know, with the whole British voice, Magnum. I can't believe it. From Texas. Texas. He's good at accents, that man. Good at accents.

Are you good at accents, Paul? No. No. Do you good at accents, you're cheeky bastard. Yes. Better than it, no. Do Jordy. Do Jordy.

Oh, why I pet? Ay, oh. Here's the thing, right? Two days ago, I got punched in the face by a Jordy, right? Good. Yeah, I saw it from both angles. And this was wrestling. It's fine.

But I think the reason why I agreed to it is because I didn't fully understand what he said to me before we went out. Hey, me, do you mind your face? Near enough. He's like, you know, if I tug you like? Tag you're like, yes, of course. I wouldn't mind that at all. That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much.

Yeah. And I got tagged. All right. Okay. Now do Welsh. Oh, Wales. Wales isn't too bad, is it? Wales isn't too bad.

Not really. Yeah, so, yeah. I played Naibaven, you know. That's right. It's lovely, you've got a... It's a lovely sing-songy tones. Lelting. Lelting.

Lelting. Lelting. Now that's kind of northern Ireland, that one. Neal. I can't do accents, sorry. Do Northern Irish. I've had a big fight. No.

Sorry. We've all had to try. Lovely stuff. No, I've got a tales from the underground stroke transport system. Apparently it's all you. It's all me. It's not one of those, oh, a dirty man did a fart next to me. Or, you know.

This one, you are the dirty man who did a dirty fart. That's what I suspected, I suspect it has you letting off. I'm just going to tell it. Or putting your knob in a granny's face or something. Oh, don't spoil it, mate. Fuck it out. That was in 10. I would even ruin it for everyone.

I would never do that. Gertrude was well rude. Right, here we go. I went to film League of Extraordie Board Games. I lost my glasses, right? In between losing them and getting a new pair, I had to wear a pair of glasses that I've not worn since 1999. I got them in an L.A., and they were expensive,

but I hate wearing them because when I put them on, I'm not exaggerating, they made me look like a sex offender. It's got this kind of tiny, rimmed, little speedy-eyed look to it. But they're the only glasses, and I need them to see so I can do my job. Right. So I take them to work and I wear them and I'm apologising

and people are laughing because they make me look like a weirdo. They literally look at you and they think that you look like a sex model. I was like explaining and I'm sorry. I haven't got me around. Don't you tree me. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, it was a hot day. So outside of wearing these glasses, I was wearing me lovely tight shorts. Me lovely shorts that, you know, come up to there but they're a little bit tight. The gene ones, you know, the ones that you don't like me wearing, but I like wearing them.

Oh, your jolts. My little tight denim shorts. They're not as bad as the capri pants. which now you can't wear ever again. I've seen you've had... Capre son. Right, anyway, what was that? But you didn't...

That was a non-sequitur you did. On your own story. That's what you always does. But it's an edit point. That's what it is. All right, I say. I'm sorry, Paul. I have much to learn from you.

Sorry, that was a tangent, and I'm sorry. Please continue. I'm wearing me tight jeans shorts, which I shouldn't have worn, but I had no other pairs of jeans, right? Of shorts, you mean? Yes. Of cool trousers. To wear on a hot day.

It was hot day. So anyway, this is. is all background to say that while I was getting the tube home at 10.30 at night, back from work, sitting on the tube, I'm reading my phone, and I've got me beady little nasty sex offender glasses on, and I'm reading. And a woman across from me is staring at me with disgust. And every time I make eye contact with her, she just moves her head and, like, it's disgusted like that. I see her lip curl up. And I'm like, all right, that's a bit weird. And she gets off the train. And then another woman there, she looks at me all dodgy. And then she moves into an

other carriage. I'm like, what's going on? And then it appears, and then the truth comes out. And this is where the cascade of problems began. Because the glasses set the scene. What ruined it was the fact that my jeans, short, because they were so tight,

the zip opened, right? Oh, oh, Paul. And then opened revealing my underwear. But the underwear I was wearing, unfortunately, because I had no clean underwear, was my Ghostbusters logo, Ghostbusters underwear. So outside of my fly,

there's a little winking face. Look at everyone. And I think they thought, I was a dirty old man on the tube. I think they, and they were right to think it. I mean, you're like little winking mugly

coming out of my pants. You did nothing to mitigate this. No. You're there and you... And when I looked down, I saw his little winking face looking at me. You saw it?

Yeah, I was like, oh, fuck, there you go. Oh, God. Terrible. Terrible. I felt it very embarrassed. It didn't help that I could see the outline

of your nipple rings as well. Well, yes. Or you had that t-shirt that you sometimes wear. I'm a massive non. It's Dutch. I mean, it's wrong.

Right, that's my tales from the underground or something. Good one. Good one. A little bit of self-deprecation then. Yeah, well, you know, I live to demean myself on a regular basis. Have you got any news, you? I've been on a tour. Oh, boy, histories. I've been on a tour all around the country. I've seen everywhere.

I've been to Liverpool. Did you play one character or several? I played many. How many characters did you have to play over the course? Over the course of one show, I guess. I think eight in the end. Oh, wow. And jumping around.

Like quick costume changes. the 8th. That's one. Yeah. I've got a tattoo of that now. Have you? Yeah.

I'm a re-eighth. I'm at every 8th I'm at. Bloody 8 on my arm. Oh, yeah. Nice tat. Thank you. Because I was kind of worried he had a big corpulent

ugly, fucking monocon of everything head. You don't want to get an actual picture. The guy with a shit mop. You don't want to get a photo real picture of fucking Henry 8. Two heads of these whites.

Do you remember that Moog version of Henry the 8th I've got? Yes. That's a person weird, isn't it? Anyway, so, Henry 8th. Yep. Cromwell.

No. No Cromwell in this. Oh, none of the Cromwells. Not fun at all. Because there were two Cromwells, isn't there? There's the Reformation one. Oh, he's Thomas Cromwell and Oliver. Thomas and Oliver, yeah.

Yeah, so none of the Cromwells. That sounds like a... Sir Walter Churchill. No Churchill. What's that? Sir Walter Raleigh. No, no, no, but... Yeah.

Someone related to that period of time I did play. The guy... Bacon. Yeah, the bike guy. Yeah, the bike guy. No. Bacon? No, no.

Think on the opposing side. The opposing side from Riley. Riley was the queen with the queen's little fellow. I'm thinking of Blackadder now. Yeah, we're just thinking of Blackadder. To be fair, it helps. On the other, who was oppositional to, oh, the other guy who was oppositional to Riley was Blackadder.

Well, yeah, but now he was a real. That's not history. I can't think. Tell me. You're thinking of Melchford. Melchard. What's his name? Melchitt.

Melchitt. Stephen Fry. They're the Frye character. Please sell us. King Philip the second of Spain. Ah, they had a war. Yes, the Alamada. Okay.

All right. That's another accent. That is the period. I read this book, The Wager, about this boat, the wager that was shipwrecked. Yes. That's around that war, isn't it?

Yeah, I was either slightly after maybe, but yeah, yeah, it's a fascinating period of history. That is crazy. I'm going to do one more, Pol Pot. The horrible histories have a wacky song about Pol Pot. We don't have a wacky song about Pol Pot, but, you know, give it time.

I don't have a wacky song about Pol Pot, There might be a blue tour you have to do. You know what I mean? There might be horror histories after dark. Yeah, what's a good idea, really? That snack that was really popular in Cambodia, Pol Pot Noodle. Oh, dear.

I got that out there. I got it quick. I was told it cleanly and I got it out there. It's more, you know, I don't know. I feel hollow. You have to appreciate the speed. For you, it was pretty quick. Like, tell us your characters and then we can move on.

Okay, right. So, in order. Henry the 8th. Cool. Charles the second's backup dancer Right, fair King Philip the second of Spain Right

We can't do repeats really Can we? Because it's Henry the 8th again Then Viking Oh generic You're thinking of the order Which yeah no I get it I'm trying to remember my track now So then it's Viking

Then back to Henry the 8th for a bit Right Then stage manager Oh a bit meta Yeah I've run across the stage Being chased by Dick Turpin Oh cool That's fun in it

With a bit of yakety sacks in the background That's what we want Yeah That's what we want Very nice Lovely bit of these days I played a Circus Strongman.

Cool. For the P.T. Barnum section. Oh, what a monster that man was. Yes. Yes. Yeah, because you could only sugar coke so much, I guess, of P.T. Barnum. I mean, we did a parody of the Greatest Showman.

Oh, okay. And, like, we included the fact that he, like, sell a tape to fish a half onto someone and, like, pretended that was a mermaid. And that's the least offensive things. He had blames. He had literal sperm whales in tanks in his basement. It's awful, isn't it? All for the fun of the fair.

But, having listened to them. He finished his characters. is that it? Kelt. All right, only asked you. And then Henry of the 8th game. Maybe it was just 7. It felt like more because I had to go in and have Henry

a lot of the time. That's an intense, yeah. I thought you're going to say you played Henry eight times on stage. It felt like it. I bet that's not fun to get in and out of, what were the beard and whatnot. I guess you got out of it.

I kept the beard for the whole thing, so that was good. And the costume itself was amazing. It was like, it was one piece. So I just whack the coat on. And it's like six fast things and we're done, which is helpful because I had, I think. And tight?

Yeah, tight stayed on the whole time. So that's it. You never had to change the tights at all. No, I just had to put stuff on top of it. But my quickest change into Henry was like 57 seconds. Wow. Which is not long. No, it's not.

But it's like one piece that zips up. You just literally whack it on, fast and fast and fast and fast. Like a wansi? I've just come off of King Philip the Second of Spain, so I've been doing all Spanish and that. And then I've got less than a minute to change into Henry and come back on, hey, it's me. Fuck crazy is! That's the other thing, isn't it, right? You're doing, hello, I am Prince of Spain.

And then you go off scene, you come back, I am Henry. Did you do him with a cockney or posh voice? Sort of loud RP. Loud RAPE. Yeah, yeah. Yes, it's me. Henry the 8th. Brian bless it sort of style.

Yeah, Roth, Roth. Roth. What I'm saying is, I think he was inspired by your performance of a... A lot of people are, Paul. In many ways, I credit so much of what I have done to cheap stuff. I think, I think so. I think that's only fair you blame your career on us. I think so.

Look, look, I'm not unhappy to get sentimental, right? Oh, no. The first episode of Cheap Show I ever listened to was when I was driving to my audition for afterlife. Why did you listen to Cheap Show? Because you asked me to. Oh. I went on Twitter now X.

That sounds like a desperate. And I was like, oh, I'm looking for podcasts. Oh, that's right. And you're like, give us a go. And I was like, I will. I'll bloody will, mate. And I did. That is actually quite moving.

And now here we are, episode 497, 250 ap tense It is, yeah It's 497 in it Yeah Fuck sake And I haven't timed this out Because 500 now happens

In five weeks But I've built that There's a reason why we built it in Shush shush shush shush Shush shush Can I just go back to Philip The Second of Spain Momentarily

Yeah Is he the one Ethan Is he the one Where there's a very famous painting Showing him With a horribly Horribly

Like deformed Like deformed Like long long face because of all the imbreeding. That's the Hapsburgs. That came after, I think. But they were in Spain as well, right? They were everywhere.

They were like the Medici's. Because obviously, everyone was marrying each other all the roles at the time. Because it's all convenience and politics. A little bit of politics. Yeah, a little bit of politics. It's all, what is it, Doweries and shit. All that.

And then it's just a bunch of the same family fucking each other and getting big chins. Big old chin. As we like it in this country. We like to know where we come from. And then... Germany, mainly. Germany, mostly.

Then the Habsbirds were actually a lot of people don't know this. Not a lot of people know this. Ancestors of Jimmy Hill and Bruce Forsyth. And with that awkward silence, we will now go to the sound effect. Sorry, everybody. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheese, cheese. That was a man. What a soundscape.

You know what? Sometimes I spoil your ears. Honestly, you know, they're there, right? I've been on the pod a few times, but I listen regularly. And it's so good to be in the room where it happens. With the magic happens. With the magic blossoms. Yeah.

It is cheap eats where we eat cheap things. This comes from Tom, who sent us some stuff last week. Oh, can I, oh, that I remember what I wanted to say now. Yeah, go on. Following on from last week's Price's Shite, where we had the little deal. BOT is it called? Tomi Dingbot. The tommy Dingbot.

Did you know that was used by the set designers in Alien as the little controller thing, like an upside down? Wait, but Alien was like 77? No, it came out in like 80s. Alien was 79. It was 1980, 79. All right, but that toy still didn't come out till 84. Maybe aliens.

Maybe aliens. Maybe aliens. Or maybe it was used in another sci-fi film. No, it was aliens. No, maybe it might have been another side of the film. Yeah, well, it doesn't matter if you saw it. I thought that would be a good night. thing that would be a nice thing to say instead of you attacking me. And you've ruined it again.

Fine. You are a waste of my time. All the years I've invested in you. Brand the Eli. And this is it, you know, after 11 years of investment of cheap. Oh my God. Give it a rest. Let's get, let's get. I feel like Cliff Richards manager. They were having it. Yeah. They were having sexes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. He's broken. Anyway, Tom gave us a lovely price of shite last week. And the, the, Also in the box a selection of cheap eats and a little drinkie-woo. So we're going to go ahead and do these this week. Oh, and also, you won't want this, but Stuart Ashen gave you these, Eli.

But I don't think you'll want to either. But when I saw him, you won't give these to Eli, because I don't want them. Well, he did get in touch with me, actually. Okay. About this. Yeah, I don't know what. I don't understand that. This is some kind of white label.

I think it is a dance record. Yusuf versus Ian Brown. Ian Brown of. I don't know. Stone roses. That's too old for me. It's a bit old for me. And this is on foot fetish records.

All heavens. Yeah. But I don't know. And there's a pair of feet on the label. Yeah. And this is Fetish Zero, 08, it's the index. Yeah.

I think this is a dance thing. I was interested. He did text me and said, are you interested in any of these? And I said, no, no. This one, I said, yeah, that looks interesting. That's interesting. There was no mention of this copy of atmosphere by Russ Abbott.

Look at the B-side. Look at the child. Thoughts of a child. We've been here before. I know. I know. I don't like it. The thoughts of a child.

I'd like a... Chocolate bar, please, Daddy. Give me Wauwi, Paul. Is it my bedtime yet? I hope it isn't. Poopoos. I've done pooh-poo's. I've done poohs, Dad.

It's been a while since he's been around a child, isn't it? There's a legal reason for that. I'm only joking. I don't know why keeps coming up. No, isn't that funny, though? You got your knob out on the tube. I didn't know. I got me Mugli out.

It's a subtle difference. Oh, sorry. How dare you, sir? I'm sure that will play well in the court. Shut up everyone in this room, but it's time for Paul to speak. So do you want to start with the drink? Yeah, I got out of the fridge.

So this was part of the bag Tom gave us. It is a Pepsi drink. Le Pepsi. It's from China, I believe. It's called Refresh Shot. And when I did a translation, it just says, high caffeine, high energy Pepsi. It's an energy, Pepsi.

Yeah, I don't know how high energy it is. I couldn't find that out. Oh, there is a thing on the side, nutritional information, whatnot, but I can't seem to find. the caffeine limit. No. It will probably have a similar amount

to a Red Bull which is probably about 80mG. So I'm just going to open it now, Simples, and we'll have a little dash each. I've got a glass for everyone. Yours is behind you, Elo. There is a Vimto energy drink. You know that?

There's a Vimto energy drink. They sell it in monster size cans. Bloody lovely. Yeah? I mean, this just smells a Pepsi so far. I think it's just going to taste like your standard Pepsi, mate. Well, yeah, that's what I'm thinking, really.

I find it interesting, though, that Pepsi have done this, But Coke refuses to dilute the brand by having an energy version of Coca-Cola. I mean, I'm sure they own some energy drink brands. I sure they brought out. They never did. They never did.

Well, we'll find that out in the gap between this segment and the next. Right, so here we go. Have a little snuffed. Oh, he's gone straight at him. This smells exactly like Pepsi. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, to have a go. Do you know what?

I take better than normal Pepsi. Yes, I was about to say, do you know, why? Because the caffeine has that astringent sort of, that sort of acidy. So it's closer to Coca-Cola, isn't it? because it's more close to coli. I think in a blind taste test against this and Coca-Cola, it'd be hard-pressed to find the difference. It's because it's, do you know what I'm getting at?

You know what the problem is, though? It's got that sharpness of coke, and it's less syrupy than normal Pepsi. Yeah. You know, if it wasn't for the fact that it was so high energy and so high caffeine, I could slam a few of them, I reckon. That's not a problem, though, isn't it? It's like, because it does taste nice than Pepsi,

I would rather drink that than Pepsi, but then if that's high caffeine, it's like not good for me. Yeah, it's a smaller can, though. It's a little energy drink size cans. That's why you get smaller cans. Listen, there's an acceptable amount of caffeine to drink every day. And recent survey studies have shown that people have better help. Have you got notes for that? Have you got back?

Have you got links for that? I can cite this, yes. I mean, that's not what we do on this podcast. I mean, just saying in post-true theory. Do your own research. Do your own research. There studies recently have shown that people that drink between three and five cups of coffee a day have good health outcomes. heart and stuff in later life.

It's actually healthy to drink three to five cups of coffee a day. So that's making me think, is it the caffeine that is giving that health benefit, in which case there's an acceptable amount of energy drinks to drink per day as well. Do you see what I'm getting at? I mean, I would also argue that maybe you've done the research that backs up your own worries about drinking too much energy drinks and you looked online specifically. No, no, no. There's a man I watch...

There's a man I watch who's very scientific on YouTube called James Hoffman. and people know he does a lot of serious work about coffee. So, Paul, don't try to demean me. Do you mean don't try to me? All this fucking podcast is, isn't he doing that? On this one thing, don't try to do. Paul, please don't do the format of this show. Don't accuse me of cherry picking some study.

I came across this study by chance. I'm not saying that. I was just making a point. It might be all right to drink some fucking, you know, fuck sake. Dothbertest too much. Go on, Ethan. Doff protest, what? I like the Pepsi.

Yeah, I like it. I thought that was very, very nice indeed, actually. I'm going to go on to my actual energy drink. I was, you know when... You got an energy drink chaser then? Go on. Because I'm thinking back to some of the shit you've made me eat over the course of this.

And I always go back, do you remember when we had that testicle jerky? Yeah. Yeah. The high ureic tang of the thing. And that, it was just nice, and I appreciate that. Well, I thought urea tank was a 17 product.

You write a heap. Yeah. Sorry, I keep doing that to you I keep deflating the joke Yeah Wanker Ureik tang Yes

Do you like kidneys Like in a Would you have a kidney cassero I've had a staking kidney pie I've not had a kidney sort of Devil kidney I've never had a devil kidney You try it that

I'd try to give it I'd say that has quite a nice ureic tang So I'm saying I'm sure it can work I'm not sure it can work But I'm not saying all ureic tangs have to be bad But the high ureic tang there was bad A particular urea tank.

Unique tank. It was a unique experience. It was horrendous. So thank you for giving me something that is not going to make me physically sick. Well, let's see what the next few things are. We just don't know. I spoke too soon!

These are all crispy things. Different flavors of one particular brand of something. So I'm going to throw out in each direction. Oh, I know what they are. I've seen these in shops. I'll tell you what, you just... Chicken skins. Deep-fried chicken skins.

Oh, I do love a bit of chicken. skin. How are they are? Yeah, lovely. Krispy chicken skin. It's like pork scratchings there basically for chicken. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We've got three flavors. I like pork scratchings. You like, you like pork scratchings? I do. Even when they got a hair in it? Poor.

I don't like the hairs. Depends on the day. Get me in the right mood. It depends how many cans deep you are. Yeah. Oh, that's not a good thing to eat one. You've been drinking a lot of booze, is it? Well, no.

That's why they sell it in pubs, isn't it? Yeah. That's the trick. That's a trick. Throat tickler. Are you junk enough to say you actually want it? Really, poor. Throat tickler.

You happy with that? You happy with yourself? I'm never happy. That's the problem with this fucking show. Go on. Plucked? I've just thought of chicken, so I thought plucked. But it wasn't the word that was actually written on the packet.

I just hope it's plucked. I don't want my mouth full of feathers. I think it's, what was it say? Packed. You can see my confusing. It's in lower case. Yeah, packed and plucked. Yeah, I get it with protein.

Not plucked with protein. I put it with passion or something, you know. You could plug my protein any day. Yeah, you can pile out my stem. It was the way you did the shush-da-s-s-nois that made that funny. Excuse me, darling. Would you shook the chap from my stem? Now, chik-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chichron.

Lay a little egg for me. Come on. Chikaron, crispy chicken skin. And we've got three flavors, starting with Korean barbecue. Nice. That would be nice. Tom Yum. Ooh. No, I know what you're getting at.

We're all thinking man's come. Let's just move on. Come of some young guy, yeah? Cream of some young man. And original. So just plain. Should we taste the plane first? Of course.

You have to have a baseline, don't you? I'm looking forward to this. I've done chicken skin in the oven before. Wow, nice. It's one of those things, those diet things where they say, take the skin off the chicken and then cook the chicken. It's like, I don't want to do that ever. that's anti-food.

It's not, though, because it's like a crouton, essentially. Well, the skin, no, I'm talking about when they tell you to take the skin off to be healthier. Oh, so you don't touch the skin at all. I may. I love the skin of chickens. It's one of my favourite foods in the world. Oh, we can't eat these,

because it says not for you, not for EU. Oh, so da Daisy! Oh, no, okay. Well, when he, you know what, though? He makes that face and then we'll go on to absolutely adore these snacks. I mean it, though. Really? What have you got?

What are we going with here? You know the smell of pork scratchings? Yeah. Imagine that, but then imagine a sort of barnyard afterthought swelling up. I'll give it a half of. Have the width. I'm not getting that. What are you getting?

Chicken skin, to be honest with it. Yeah, really? Fair enough. You'll hate it, Paul. There is something of the farm about it, but I mean, it's not an air of the farm. But it's not so bad. No, no, it's just pork. Pick one out while you're there.

Pick one out while you're there. Oh, pick one out when I'm there. And then you can have some. Oh, it's really wrinkled. That's a chunk one. That is a really wrinkled crinkler. Again, this smells like my dad's bait box. Yeah, that's what I mean, yeah.

It's like slightly raw dead animals. Yeah, that's what I'm getting. Dad's bait box. No, I've pulled one out. My dad's bait box are pouring by Paul Gannon, age nine. Grunchy. I mean, that just kind of just tastes like pork scratching kind of really. Yeah, not really getting any chickens for it.

No, I'm quite bland, actually. Paul don't like it. No, I'm not, put it one way. I'm just not in the move for a hole. One of those, I still can have a nibble, Jesus. That's really, really bland. Bland. Very bland, very kind of, like, packing boxy.

Are they salted at all? Is it really, there is some salt? It's a real distinct lack of seasoning, I'd say. Yes, underseason, definitely. There's very little salt, which I guess is good, I guess. You want something. I mean, it's good for the arteries, but not for the mouth taste. I think they're sort of mark.

marketing this as a sort of gym food because it says 17 grams of protein. Oh, right, yeah. It's not for the pleasure. Right, I'm opening the Tom Yom. Hopefully the seasoning mix will help with the Tom Yom. So what are you expecting for Tom Yon then? Tom Yom is sour,

spicy and sweet. It's a Thai dish. Okay. And the whole basic flavour of all Thai food is essentially sweet and chili because Thai chili sweet. This smells like home base. Okay.

Oh, Paul. your imaginative analogies for smells. Well, all right, have a sniff of that and tell me you just walked into the paint department. Oh, I see what you mean. You know? Yeah. Yeah, it's really kind of like...

It's quite a... Just a light, Tom Yum. You're picking up on the lemon notes. Maybe, but it's still really like paint-like. I can't explain it, but it's... No, I'm with you. I'm with you. It smells like a recently decorated room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not an unpleasant. I quite like that, isn't. It's not unpleasant, but it's also not Tom Yum. And not food, I... I don't spend very much not food. The plate is really weird. It's taste this Tommy Yum one.

More than anything, I'm reminded of roast chicken-favored crisps. Yeah. There's no Tommy Yum there at all. It was a little sour on the bag. A little bit of lime, yeah, a bit of that. They're better, though. They're more interesting than the plane. Well, because it actually fucking tastes of something.

Yeah, and they're salterier as well, aren't they? Yeah. Oh, actually, you know what? You know, those Walker's sensations. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Thai chili ones. But it's like really, like, it's almost homeopathic.

That's much better than the plane for. me. That's got much more going on. It's much more pleasant. Like this whole lack of salt, 17 grams of protein. It's like, well, there's no worry that kind of sells the flavour. It kind of feels like all of that is there in lieu of taste. Now, I think of chicken skin as

delicious, and I wouldn't say either of these were delicious, though. You know what I mean? Not at all. Something about the process. It's, in addition to that, like, texturally, they're not great because they're just sort of shatter into shards. And then it doesn't seem like anything actually breaks down, eventually. It's just smaller and smaller pieces of, unbreakable.

just dry matter. There's nothing really to it. Well, I'm going to open the last one now, which is Korean Barbecue. I mean, I had high hopes initially, but now I'm sort of like, also this one, curry and barbecue. Get your fucking priorities, right? What's going on? What is

curry and barbecue? No one eats curry and Barbecue. Oh, sorry. Well, this one smells at the last back. Normally I'd agree with you, but I can't hear properly. Hello. Hello. Curry, hello. Sorry, everyone. I just went on a mini rant and thanks for stopping me there. I didn't realise what had happened until

it was far too late. I've cut this out. I have and I've left it. I always do. Smells the same. Smells fake and powder. I might as well take one. All right, I'm going to have a nibble. Thank you very much. Korean barbecue. Again, recently decorated room flavour. Yeah, it has the same painty thing.

It's not. Okay, right, let's taste it. Korean has sweet and chili as well, so it can't be garlicky, I guess. There's no flavour here. I'm getting it a bit of soy sauce. maybe. Initially there was something a bit sweet like a barbecue walkers. Well that's Korean barbecue is very sweet. These are just, all of them are on the flavour.

In fact, the most flavoured on us are probably the original because it tastes like chicken still. I mean, this is I'd argue this is the best of the three, but that's like, that's a very, very low bar to clear. I would say I prefer the, um, the tom yum actually to that one. Actually, that one's repeating on me a bit. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of... It's so dry. It's just there's nothing to it. Powdery. Can I mention a happy food.

story. Hang on. Before we, let's close the book on these, which is the best one out of these three? I think the Tom Yam has

the most... I might agree with you. I'm going with Tom Yam only because I thought it was this but then I feel like I'm going to throw out. That's a good reason to look down votes on it.

So then what? Original or that? Or what or what? The original was just nothing. I would put the original in second place though. The Korean one is unpleasant. Yeah.

That's it. I almost feel like I can't even rank the original one because it was just nothing. But I'd rather have just nothing than bad flavor. They're all hovering around about 1.3 for me

and I'm quite disappointed because I love a pork scratching. Yeah. I love chicken skin as already mentioned and you know. Yeah, I'm disappointed. I'm frankly very disappointed. I'd like to see there other sort of maybe higher markets, higher market position products in a similar vein that were better, you know?

And I wonder if it just doesn't travel like that like you know, having to seal it in a bag. It just removes an essence. It feels like, yeah, it feels like they've put some kind of chemical to emulsify all and harden all the fat and it's changed the actual constituents. Because the best part of skin is the fat. Yes, it's the gloopiness sort of almost of it.

But this is so dry, it's just got nothing. The best fried chicken. Not one hair. Not a feather. The best fried chicken, skin experience, it's got the skin, but it's got the crisp and the gloop. Do you see what I mean? Yes, absolutely. It's a combination in your mouth of those textures.

And that doesn't have it. It just is all crisp. You see what I mean. Just dry and back. Chicken on. Oh, shit is what we're saying. It's a fucking bird to say. It's a fucking bird to say.

It's a fucking bird shan. That's right. That's fun of all one of the most Wow. Experimental. Sometimes you just need to push the boat out, man. It's going through your psych phase. Yeah.

Tradge. Tradge. Trage. That's all the genre of music. Trash. That could be a genre of music. Like prog and like sad, sad. Sad prog.

Sad prog. Sad prog. Trash. This is trage. Nice. Yeah, I like it. Anyway, we are doing the price of shite, but we are not doing the price of shite. Ethan's in charge.

So go on. And this is, again, a nice mirror to my first appearance where I also did a price of shite for you guys. Yeah. I thought this is... That was the first appearance of the smaller wooden man. But you then subsequently got another project. The little dancing wooden man thing. Dancing wooden man.

Or the thing, the magic trick. When we went to came to the same thing. Yeah, the smaller wooden man. I still think of that regularly. It's all right. We're at that point now where 11 years in. You're not doing that, mate. I'm doing it because I force a habit.

11 years in we do repeat ourselves every once in a while So what's the problem with a little Japanese wooden dancing magic doll Every now in there, hey? The smaller wooden man. Between friends. What's a little Japanese dancing doll mean? It was exactly the same item with the weird English Yeah.

It still makes me so happy. But I've bloody done it again, lads. Have you? Yeah, I've been around, so my hometown of Morden and Essex, I've been around all charity shops looking for items. And I have found five. Right, they're not great. Fine.

Because it turns out a provincial rural charity shop. Yeah. There's not much going on. No, there would be no will there. But it's all right, because I'd done it. You've done it. And you've got five items. Right.

And I'm telling you for now, there are two things at play. I don't know if you want to explain the rules first. Right, well, points are like this. If you get a price spot on, you're going to get two per twing. So being exactly on the right price. However, we have a margin of error. And if you're right within 25p, the actual price, whether that's higher or lower, you'll just get the one between, but a valued between it that.

However, my next question seems to be, or will be, is there a quid's gambit? Oh, Paul, there is. There is a quid's gambit in play. Which means, if you decide that the item you feel is a quid, you must knock in a quid's gambit. No, no, no, no. Yes, but you're explaining it the wrong way round. I don't care, because...

Can I just do... One pound items are quite common, so we thought to take the edge off, we use the quid's gambit, so you have to only commit. one pound to one price, one item. Paul. You know what, explain it now, because out of spite, I'm going to cut out whatever you say. Wow.

Wow. Go on, explain it. And I'll go snip, snip, snip, baby. It was just a suggestion, Paul. Snip, snip, snip. It's a way to explain. Wow. Snip, wow.

Spend all the time you want talking, mate. Stop. Stop, wow. Stop, snip, baby. Stop. It's a tough business, in it. Wow. It's a tough business.

Whanker. One of the items is a pound. That's what you failed to say the whole way through there. One item is a pound. If the quid's gambit is play, one of the items is a pound. Stop banging on the table, you stupid fucking shit weasel. All right, calm down. I've cut that bit out.

So now... What bit? That bit... Should we do it again if you've cut it out? No. What's the quid? Some items are just a quid, so if you know which one that is. Not some one item.

No, some items are a quid that we've bought in the past. No, but if the quid gambit... But within this game, there is only one. Historically... In this game, there's only one! Historically, prices of items are a pound. Which is the background to the invention of the quids gambit game. The quids gambit game as it's played means one of the items selected is a pound.

But one. And to play the quid's gambit, you decide which of your guess is. Because historically, the pound comes up a lot. Yes, but that's the reason why it was invented. And that's what I started with. How many points you get? But then you jump straight for the bit where I said I've missed the rules out, but I haven't even gotten to that bit yet. Oh, my God.

So once again. How many points do you get if you get four? Two for me and spot on an extra two. Jesus Christ. claiming it is the price, the quids going. Oh my God. Hey? Snip, snip.

What you're saying? Snip, snip, snip. Wow. I haven't been snipped, by the way. No, not much to snip, though, is that? Well, there is a foreskin. Yeah, but that's what it's sniffed. That's all it is.

It's all dough and no meat. It's just a big, empty pillow case of soft skin. It's a very much like those snacks we just had, Paul. It is. Your cock looks like chicken skins. An absolute horrendous mess of a state they are. Oh, it looks like a dog has splashed its diarrhea up an abattoir-fucking bin. Snip, snip, snip, Mr. Silver.

Yes. Wow. Right. Anyway, that's the scoring. I hope we've made it clear. No, it was not made clear. It doesn't matter. How disrespectful.

I've done this nearly 500 times I don't give a fuck no more. Carry on. Okay, so there are five items from four charity shots. One of them's a quid, right? And one, one is a quid. And if you go to that one... Very good call. Now, for people listening at home,

who are fully aware that Paul Gannon is a mischievous little rascal, even though he's keeping his own score, I will be keeping the actual score It's just psychologically nice and good. Yeah, well, I'm making sure... And if you come near my score sheet, I will slice you with my fingernails.

He's got as he thinks he is. He's got glass fingernails, he told me. I'm the man who likes roll and when I'm here, there'll be no fucking funny business from you, Paul Gannon. I mean, there isn't any funny business for me on a weekly basis anyway.

That's true. You're spent. You're so spent. You're done. Ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm shit. Retire. Do you want a badge that says Paul Gannon, shit? I would actually. You're a lame duck.

Snip, snip, snip. You're a hanging chat. Snip, snip, snip. That's like his fake news when he says, Snips, sniff, isn't it? I've got out your opinions. Right, come on, first item. It's just nothing but success with Paul Gannon

throughout all of this. Okay, right, first item. All the failures, snip, step, stim. I'm just rooting for my bag, right. Five items, item number one. First item is, we're going on a bear hunt memory card game. Oh. It contains 53 cards, which have been gloriously illustrated, I understand.

I have not opened it yet. But I understand there's some really pretty pictures on there. Let me show you the box. I would like to read the back of it which says a bright and colourful memory card game featuring the beautiful illustrations from the new animated adaptation of the best-selling children's classic book.

Game includes 53 jumbo-sized cards and instructions. What is there a TV series? We're going on a bear hunt? Is it some kind of like deep South American thing? I think not because there's that song that was from like the scouts. Like we're all going on a bear hunt. Okay.

We're not scared because we're from and then all of the scalp groups would shout out where they're from. Yeah, that's exactly that. So some of these cards seem to depict a little girl in a blue dress with a pink rucksack dancing around. And this one, she's got a magnifying glass looking for porpoens. And she's looking at the paw print. And there's a little boy in yellow shorts with a purple jumper and a crooked stick. Also seems to be frolicing somewhat.

And there's a doggy. There's a little doggy. He's got a red bandana. You like that, Paul. I do, yeah. Oh, there's another girl. Perhaps that's her sister. What?

Perhaps that's her sister. Are you right? Snip, snib. Wow. Wow. So, look, it's a doggie. These are quite cool. Is this a match-em-up game where you've got to match cards up?

Or is it like you have to build a story or something? I think you're right, Paul, because there seems to be a pair of the same card here. I think that's it. It's like a memory game. You put them face down. Yeah, okay. There's similar things that are online as Mar-Zong.

Mar-Zong. Isn't that Mar-Zong? You match the tiles. You remember where they are. I don't remember. I don't remember. But I'm not familiar with this being a TV. show and I'm not sure what the exact date on this is.

I mean, this looks like at least early 2000s, maybe late 90s, but it's hard to say. I found the rules card. Oh, yes. And we were all right. Yeah, stick him on the ground. Just leave this one sentence to explain. Objective. Each player tries to collect as many matching pairs as possible.

So it's that game. Yeah, nice and easy. Simples. I like the illustrations. I think they're quite pretty. Nice kind of, like kind of pastily, almost kind of, you know, almost Raymond Briggs. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if they were pulled from like If there was a children's book adaptation of this

And they've just scanned it over No, I think that's what it's suggesting it is It was based on a book that was turned to an animated series Which is now this game So I guess they just scanned it over But I like it, I think the animation starts quite nice Right, now I know something about the universe I know that one of these cards

Will have on it a bear shitting in the woods Do you want to take the time to go Each and every one of a children's death of cards to see Does it does a bear shit in the woods pool I mean, where else would it go? Exactly. So there is one in this car And there's the Pope.

Catholic? Yeah. Yeah. And does... Does the Pope shit in the woods? Does the Pope... Is a bear Catholic? Yeah, well, they are

because they always pull out, don't they? Cold as a... Do they? Yeah. Always pull out last minute. From experience is this. And then spread on your back.

My joke was too... My joke was too easy. Oh, yeah. Oh, because it's a... It's a gay thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a bear.

You are more bear. We're a pair of bears. Yeah. You're a pair of bears. I think I'm a stote. Are you? I think it's more stote or, like, weasel.

What's a stowa weasel? A vole, maybe. An otter. Yeah. You, well, in your younger days, you're a bit of a twink, mate. Yeah, no. Oh, I'd wish I were a twink. But now you've gone to seed, you know, like a capybara now.

Yeah. Oh, they're lovely capybara. They're not lovely. They're not lovely. They eat your dick in your sleep, man. Do you know what a capy borer is? Yeah, come and eat your dick in your sleep. I think you're thinking of the tubercarbara. You've got put special oils on your dick before bed.

How often do I have to worry about roaming tubercarbara's? Not tuberacabras. capy baras. That's confusing now. Tupercarbara. Let's call the whole thing off. Let's rub some oil on my dick before I sleep. Smelly, smelly, smelly.

Onion oil. Tupacapa, parrabapapapha, Phil Aladocious, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you'll always have a go. Tupacababha, yabapapapapit, son. Right. Anyway, how much do you think the bear hunt cards are? I'm going to go with Quids Gambit out the gate.

Quid's gambit straight away. We will, of course, revisit this. We will revisit this. Just to remind everyone, that means Paul thinks this is the single one pound item. Did I tell you that... There are no more items in this list, that will be a quid. I'm so sorry, did I tell you the ceiling? No.

11 pounds. So all of the items come to exactly 11 pounds. Over 5 quid. Is there any rule regarding the multiples by which the prices are at? So, for example, you know, is it to the nearest 10, 5? I'm not going to tell you. No, okay, fine. I'm just wondering, because last week it was 50p.

Yeah, I know. Increments of 50p and that led to all sorts of problems. Yeah. And there was much petwingage to be, anyway. What do you want? And there was more, it meant more petuanage. Petwant. Do you want to pick a...

11 pound ceiling. 11 pound ceiling. I want to ask the runner of the game, which isn't you, Paul. Even though you're holding the paper in your hand. It just gives me something psychologically to do. Otherwise, you're checked out. Yeah. I'll give you something.

I'll go out. I'll give you something psychologically to do. Go on. Why don't you fucking psychologically be present in this endeavour that we're, doing now? I'm a dog. I'm a pet dog. No. I thought you said I'm a gog. No, I would not say that. No, he's not a gog. Snip, snip, snip. How much? Wow. How much? No, I want to ask my temporary boss. You've already asked him, he said, in the increments, in the increments. I know, I've got another question. Ethan. Yeah, hello. Hi there. Will we have a chance to review our prices at the end? Okay, I'm just double checking.

Talk about me. I'm just double checking. You talk about me not being present. You don't listen when he stated that earlier. I'm going to go to quid's gamut as well. He's got a deaf ear. Well, that's true. I've got my deaf ear to him.

I've got to look about old men, haven't you? Got to be careful. Yeah, I've got to look after you is. You might have a fool. When you call him a prick, you just got to come around this side of the room. Right, let's move. Have you picked a price? I'd say, if you were listening.

I wasn't because I was getting angry about you, not listening. Yeah, I mean. And now we're recursively eroding the nature of this fucking concept. Come on. How much? I'm going for the quids gambit as well Oh Very exciting

I did say that Right on to the next item I should say that That bear hunt thing And this next item came from mind On the Morden High Street All right Love a bit of mind

This next item Is The Hound of the Baskervilles By Sir Arthur Conan Doyle On tape Read by Hugh Burden Oh I had this It might have been a different version

Because I believe My version was read by Dennis Norton Dennis Norden. You know Dennis Norton? What, the price? No, that's happened on the night kind of guy. He's not the price of... You're one of those people.

Horden. Dennis Horden. He's a Shakespearean actor. You're gesturing at me. I've got no idea. You're an actor. I don't know every actor. That's so racist.

You meant to know actors. You're an actor? Yeah. Well, Horden was my neighbour for several years. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is he the guy who did the voice for Paddington? Yeah. That one.

Yes. Who was also the voice of Sherlock Holmes in young Sherlock Holmes. That's right. He worked a lot. I think he was a lot. Like, must have been a Rada, Shakespearean. Oh, yeah, but he got about. He got a ball.

Great voice. Yes. And I believe I had a version read by him. Because I was going through the character shops, and I could not find a single vinyl. But they had loads of tapes for some reason. I don't know what's going on in Morda. People have given tapes away. The problem is most of it is just fucking classical music.

You know what I mean? Like no one's going to go on a album when you can listen to it on the radio right now. Or get a better, you know, a better version. Yes, you're right. On Spotify. But I remember, like, when I was, when I was young, like, this was sort of the back end of tapes going into CDs and we had like storytelling tapes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was just something a bit nostalgic about it that I like. I like it. I agree. I'm just trying to get the sleeve off here so we can have a look at the cassettes inside. But it's a very simple illustration. It's made by a company called Listen for Pleasure. Music for Pleasure is a big 60s British record label. Do you think perhaps there's a subsidiary of... Maybe. I mean, it's weird that they would have the similar names and there'd not be some kind of

litigation. Yeah, MFP did put out some really great stuff but that's what he looks like Hugh Burden if you're interested that's the man he looks like I recognize him we have Dennis Horton as well there's something Anthony had about him yeah a little bit this is a picture of him from Doctor Who spearhead from space

the Orton story with the third doctor Did he do a lot of voice stuff Hugh Burden When you look at his name you can't help think of Huge Burden His full name is Hugh Archibald Nen Nen Bairn Nen Nen I'm a huge burden

Nen Hey man Hey Nen What movies did he do before he died? He did one of our dinosaurs missing, if you remember that Disney film. That classic. The House in Nightmare Park, blood from the mummy's tomb, funeral in Berlin. Is that Harry Palmer one?

Funeral in Berlin, Eli. Is that Harry Palmer? Yes, that's the second of the Harry Palmer's after. The Ipricus files. That's decent. I mean, it's not great, but it's like a decent little spy thriller set in Germany. He seems to be decently odd, you know, joby. Who was in that, was he?

What was he in that? In what? Night in Berlin or whatever. Oh, I've gone past it now, but I think it was just Bobby Joe Smith third. He's got one of those, it's sort of back in the day when, like, you know, actors like that, character actors that would just work and work and work and work and work. Yeah, yeah. They'd crop up in everything. They'd be in background of TV shows, Zed cars, you know, they'd be there.

And every time they'd appear on screen, you'd be like, oh, it's him from that. Oh, yeah, it's in from that. It's like when you watch a midsummer murder, it's like, that is just like camp, for actors. It's like everyone gets called up at some point to do it. Still waiting on my cool midsummer. Well, mate, odds are good.

It's been running for fucking 25 years. They're still making it. Yeah. Still going. It's still hugely popular. Because they do it in like, instead of like hour long ones, they do like features now.

Like they're like 90 minute amps. So they release like six two hour movies a year kind of thing. But I'm quite fond of midsum of murder. I don't mind it. Like it's cozy. It's like putting on radiator pants. It is.

But it's also demented. Like sometimes you're watching go, if this was a bit more gory, This would be like any other slasher film of the 80s because it's the exact same structure of small village someone comes in, starts offing people left right and centre and then it's always the vicar because 18 years ago he contracted syphilis.

It's same as hot fuzz, isn't it? Yeah, well, I mean, it's all built on that same idea. Template, yeah, small. You know what I love about this, how in the Basqueville's audiobook, is the little silhouette of Sherlock Holmes. Isn't that cool? I think it's a nice design.

And like, it's going to be abridged. Well, actually, it might not be. It's not that long a book, not. It's a short story. It's a novella. That's a thing. It's a novella. That's not. It's a full novel. Oh, is it? Yeah, it came out after he'd already killed the character off. So, uh, once he fell to his doom.

Yeah, Mario Arzi. People were pissed off. So he decided to write a novel, which became House of the Basketball, which was happened before. Right. So it's one of the only full length story. How many full length novels were there? Well, it depends because like some are run for a couple of pages, but like sign of four and Houndler Baskervilles

and one other I like, no, I like much bigger novels. Like, I think it's sign of four that takes like a four chapter diversion

to follow the greening of the desert in America. But this one's interesting because Hound of the Baskervilles is primarily a Watson story because basically Holmes at the beginning goes, why don't you fuck off and deal with this?

I'll stay here and Watson's like, really? And then you realise actually he's been hiding on the balls the whole time. He's been an old lady, pretend he'd be an old lady.

Oh man. Oh, it's an old man, yeah. Yeah, I like it. And it also flirts with the possibility of the supernatural, which is what's interesting about it. Because it deals with a curse and a killer dog and all these kinds of things. It's a phantom dog it's meant to be, isn't it? Yeah, but it's just a normal dog with phosphorus on.

Phosphorus, yeah. Glowing the dark stuff. It's a good one. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good one. And, you know, I would definitely say the hammer version is probably my favourite. It's a hammer version with Rathbone. No, I think it's Christopher Lee's in it,

but he doesn't play Holmes. He plays Baskerville, the Lord of the Manor who lives in danger. That's more his... Maybe it's Cushing who plays home. It must be. It must be Cushing. Let's find out.

Yeah, I'm interested. I went to see Dracula AD 72. I was. It's terrible. But it has that scene where he's the descendant of Van Helsing, Peter Cushing in it. There's a guy called Alicard. Yeah, it's really clever because it's backwards.

Yeah, but he has a whole scene where he's like, connecting the letters. Do you know what I mean? Because my God! He coughs up some alphabeti spaghetti spaghetti. Yeah, fuck so. 1959, Hammerfilm. Christopher Lee plays Sir Henry Baskerville and Peter Cushing is home.

Yeah. Makes perfect sense. Anyway, how much is price of this cassette? Eli, you go first this time. I think they're really cheap these days. I know. This might be my other second guest. Quince Gambit.

I'm going to say 75P. I was going to save 75P as well, but I'm going to move up. I'm going to go up the other direction. I'm going to go ahead and say 150. We got three items to get up to 11 quid. I know. So we've got a lot of work to do. Yeah, let's have a...

Right, so 75p for Eli and £1.50 for Paul. It is. Lovely bit of business. Item two. Ont to the next. Item three. Oh, I. Are you already forgotten about the bear, huh?

Yeah. Oh, I think about as a bear hunts. Right. Okay, this next item is from... Let me just check this to make sure I got this right. This is from Bernardoes. Banados. Benados.

And it is a polychromic recursive cup. Now, this is Eli's shit. You know, have a look at that. Like a ceramic. Yeah. It's a lovely thing. It's a colour that's a colour that's set out. to me. It's like sort of burnished

metal or something. It's like that whole puddle with oil in. Yes. Which is known as iridescent. Iridescent. Iridescent. Iridivode. It's a... It's very lovely, actually. It's a nice sort of thing. It's one of those ones where sort of like the handle runs all the way through it. So I guess it's you get a little bit more liquid in there. But I thought it's kind of

small for a cup. It's like a little vase. It's like a little vase. A flower, isn't it? It's one of those. A mini-vars with a fluted, I think it's what they're called with a handle. It looks a little bit like a trombot. Not trombone. It's got a little bit of that too. It's not like a Klein bottle. Do you know about a Klein bottle?

Tell me more. It's basically... The volume bigger on the... No, it's an object that only has one surface in the same way that a Mobius strip only has one surface. And in fact, if you get a Klein bottle and you cut it down the middle all around,

it turns into two interlinked Mobia strips. It's topography, yes. Do that at home, everyone. Do you research. The thing is, with... Wikipedia. A climb bottle works like that in mathematics, but in reality you have to have the handle going through,

so you can't actually build a mathematically perfect climb bottle in real life of yours. It's an impossible shape. It's impossible, I believe. It's been made in England because there was a stamp on the bottom that says England, and then a K. There's a K on there. I don't know if that means anything. It's worth a thousand pounds.

It's your guess first here, Paul. Well. For the iridescent miniature vase. I'm going to go ahead and say two pounds on the bonds for that. Two pounds. Honestly, a lovely little thing. I liked it. It was a nice little find.

Yeah. Made in England, you said, yeah? That's actually a decent thing. Yeah, no, it's lovely. Someone's put a little K in metal writing on it. Did you say that? Sorry. Can you sign a logically?

No. You have a fucking present, baby. You can have me in a room. A horrible, rancid, cunt. Oh. Oh. What? Snips, wow.

Snip. Wow. Snip. I'm going to go £3.25. 3.25. Big boy on campus. Item four. R-S-P-C-A, find this one.

Oh, we can't go wrong with the RSPCA. You can. Oh. Because I am presenting to you two horrible little dolls from Holland. Oh, dear. I love this. Too disgusting little dolls in traditional Holland dress. Yeah, that's bad shit, man.

One of these horrible, cheap plastic. Yeah, boxes. It's really nasty. Has Holland in. Samuel? On our romantic trip to Holland, how should we remember the occasion at the moment? Well, darling, I've got just the thing. Hands that over.

Ah, I see we are breaking up today. Two children wearing traditional... Clogs. Dutch garb, including clogs. Clogs. They both have exactly the same clogs on. So I assume this must be specific to the region of Holland, because there's always that thing now. It's the Netherlands, isn't it?

But Holland is just a region of it. Right. So I'm guessing that must be some region. But they're really nasty. I mean... I like them because they are very retro. They look like they were manufactured. No...

It's like 60s, 70s vibe that. That's the vibe I'm getting as well. It's got that kind of cheap, Cindy doll thing going on. Yeah. The mould is that really old-fashioned. He's a military garb, isn't he? Isn't that military garb? No, it's just...

I think it's just sort of dancing when someone gets married garb sort of thing. Well, I don't like where she's got here and... No, and if you actually look at the back, it's like... Look at that. She's going around the front. He's going around the back.

Double reach around. He's like, yes. Would you like the old Holland twist? And she's like, yes, I take it. I take it. I'm like, I rub it there. Now I smell some good in my hand. You smell the poop.

And then I rub it on the clita. We call it the Holland sandwich. He called it Dutch sandwich. Hey, darling. You want to do a Dutch sandwich? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I enjoy techno. I take no shit

That's good Well done Paul I suck off a guy You know what This is horrible I like it I put it on my shelf Yeah of course you are

You're more than market to him Because I think my house is haunted Can I just say so far None of this should come to 11 quid It's only one more item mate Yeah I know So unless that item is seven pounds

I don't know I'd be Is it big? No I'm not saying anything I am going to say, I'm going to say 250. I don't know why. I wanted to say that. I wanted to say that.

You still can. There's never been a rule where we can't get to say that. Okay, I will say that. I will say that. 2.50 for the rules. That's cheating. 250 for me as well. All right.

250 in the bank, which means we're going into our last item. Last item. Go on. So this is from Little Haven, which is a local ethics charity's children's hospice. Oh, nice. And given that it's a children's hospice, I had to bring along something with a bit of play. element,

didn't I? A bit of fun. A ludic element, Paul. A ludic? Yeah. All right. Yeah, here we go. It's called twerk pong.

Oh, God. Yes, dude. Twerk pong. Twerk pong. Twerk pong. It's too... It's twerk pong. It's a smell that happens in the toilet

after you've been twirking for too long and you take your pen to pinch one off. So it's like two little cardboard boxes that you tie around your waist with ribbon, put ping pong balls in there and then you have to twerk them out. Yeah. I thought it might be fun. for you guys to have a go. I'm going to have a goat.

Let's have a go. Here, let me hand you that. So you've got to build the box first and then put the cobb, put the... Put the balls in. I'll handle your balls at them. I'll handle your balls at you.

I don't you worry about that. Oh, do we need a belt, though? There's ribbons in here for that. Oh, there's ribbons. This is fucking terrible thing. It's so bad, isn't it? If you're at a party and they need to play this

to get it going, you know what I mean? You might as well just call it a day. Oh, this is something you definitely got to prepare in advance for it, This would drive me to overdrink. And a ribbon for you, Paul. We have to thread the ribbon. God, it's like an IKEA thing.

I can't be asked with this, shit. Well, you must. You must be asked with this. This is close enough. Twerk pong. Twerk pong. You're my twerk pong. If you want it, my jeans, you will see I've got some slops.

I've got a big schlong. Tom Jones, Tom Jones. He is Tom Shong. He wears a nappy now. There's a constructing the box instruction thing if you want to read that. We're going to long past well. We're going past constructing a box, mate. I can't do it.

Can you do mine? No, because I'm having trouble fucking doing this one. I'm going to cut all this out. Snip, snip, snip, Paul. Where does the ribbon go? Somewhere out. You've got to kind of thread it. Oh, Jesus Christ, it's not working.

I mean, you wouldn't want to just get this out at a party. You'd have to prepare it whilst you did. Then you won't have time for the volvantes. Right. I've got it on. Do you want me to pull you up? Put some balls in. It's not fair.

You have to wait for me. There you go. You've pulled up. It's not fair. You have to wait for me. I don't know what I'm going to say. I haven't put shit in. I can't do it.

Sorry. Very hot in here. So how's that dexterity test you've always wanted? It's not dexterity. I won the dexterity test when we played that thing with a sock and you had to pull the object out of the sock. Yeah, but we've also done all these other games where I've beaten you in those things. So it's like, At best.

Yeah, very good, well done naming a few of those. Well, like Scooball Scramble, I've slaughtered you on numerous times, for example. And you can't do magic tricks at all, which requires some dexterity. And you're a cunt. Snip, snip, snip. Wow. Thank you, Paul. What's the skill of, what do we have to do?

Get the balls from one box or the other? You've got to get all the balls out by twerking. Where do they come out of the hole? Yeah, 18 days later. See? It's not that easy. Is it then? It's not, here's the thing.

It's easy. I just wanted you to do it. Right. I've got the twerk pouch on and we've got balls in now. You didn't do them properly. Well, at least I did them as opposed to you. You fat sausage thing. Come on.

Hurry up. Can you tie the knot as well? Well, your trotters getting in the way of that. Right, let me load you up. We're now being loaded up with balls and I think we've got to do twerking. Right, okay. I'll commentate. All right.

So the aim of the game is to twerk as hard as he can. to get five ping pong balls out of your little twerk pouches. All right, here we go. All right, three, two, one, twirking. All right, so that's one out from Paul. This is incredible. The movement. Jump up and down, our neighbour would be very cross.

I've just got images of two men who are farting one. Oh, Eli's last one. Wait. I went. I'm just bored of doing it. That was fun, though. Snip, snip, Mr. Silverman. But to be fair, I did get a sweat on just doing that.

Oh, he's put the ping pong balls behind his glasses, and now I'm a boogly-eyed man. He's a very strong look. Whose guess is it first on this item? Eli, I believe. £3.50. £3.50. $3.30.

It was new, brand new. Hang on. Five. I'm going to go five. Five. Yeah. Paul, what do you reckon? I'm going to go with £4.50. Can I look at my answers from your page, seeing as you did it. Okay. So, if I just quickly add these.

We're going to do the evaluation now, thank you. Are we happy with the scores, Eli? Are you happy with your points? You're over, Paul. I know. But you're happy with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine with what we've got.

Are you still thinking? I'm over as well. Yeah, but I tend to mind going over. Going under, I tend to find that. I don't feel as confident. I'm over by £1.50. I'm going to bring the twerk game down to £4, please. Yep, no worries.

Okay, and that's it. I'm done. All right. Cool. All right, we are locked in, gentlemen. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, jim, jim, jim, jim. Okay, so, right, bear hunt cards. Yeah.

You both said quid's gambit. Yeah. It was £2.50. That's a lot of money for that load of shit. The tape is definitely the quid's gambit. I'm going to get a fucking point here. Right. For the tape, all you said £1.50.

Yeah. It was £1.50. That is two per twings for all. Oh my God. The opposite of what I thought was going to happen. but worse happen. My favourite type of reality. Shit.

Yeah. It's looking for you rock. Oh no, I'm going to donut out. Right. For the cup. Yeah. Paul, you said two pound. I did.

You said three pounds, 25. He did. It was three pounds. That's one between three. Oh. Oh, it's all kicking off, boys. Nice.

I didn't think, oh. It's been balanced to the floor. See my ceramics knowledge there, helping. That's helping you out. Yeah. We get to the dolls. Oh, I. You both said,

$2.50 for this. Yeah. That was the quids gambit's gambit, gentlemen. Yes Yeah that was my thought After the tapes were Yeah So that was your thought

After the tape And after the tape You got the dog We've gone down the list Just two white tits Right Yeah it was 50-50 After that

So yeah And finally Twerk Pong Yeah I said 450 I said 480 or 4 No 450 It's just a way

I've done the 5 Either way It doesn't matter It's 3 quid So yeah So I win by one point Yeah For me

I am King of Ethan's Price of Scheid Everyone say Well done, Paul Well done Paul I was genuinely shocked by some of those prices

Like I could not believe The disparity The only one I was genuinely shocked That was the card game The 250, 250 is like I mean they're nicely illustrated But not £2.50 nicely

You know it's like How much with the tapes? Tape was 150 That's a lot I guess 75p per tape But still I mean the thing is I've seen a lot of these

Double cassette things Going for about £1 £1 £150 so I just threw it in with that. And the other one, the dolls, yeah, I can see that being... A quid. No one wants them. You reacted really... You hated those dolls, didn't you?

I do not like them. No. I like them. It was in a... Terrifying. It was in what I'm going to... I have to use this phrase. It was in what I would call an ethnic display.

Oh, God. It was just loads of figurines from different countries, little dolls and things like that. I like that kind of thing. It's a small world, but with shit. I once found a little doll from Mao's China, communist China.

a little doll. It's really cool. Did you get it? Yeah, I gave it to someone who then later turned out to be a cunt. And so the cycle of abuse continues. Snips, snip, sniff, everyone. Slip-knit.

Well, Ethan, very well done. That was a textbook price of shine. I don't do any other kind. Yeah, I know. I'm a fan of this show. I know how it worked. I just wish you, you know. Congratulations, Paul.

Stretch your limbs a little bit. Stretch your horizons of some of the things you could get. You know, like maybe next time, think in advance, stock up over the year will bring you back. If you let us down a third time, trouble. Sorry, are you saying that I let you down the first time as well?

Yeah. With the introduction of the smaller wooden man. Yeah. That was a letdown for you. And what about the little cup? Yeah. What of the cup, Paul? Paul!

There's a letdown. Eli, what did you think? He's a let down too. I want to do a podcast with you for 11 years. Paul makes me feel unwell in my head. Only joking. No, it was good. This is all the podcast has been an 11-year version of misery.

No, it was great. Ethan, great to see you. Great thanks for coming back. Can I go now here? I'm going to go out there. I'm going to calm down. I'm going to go out there. You are weirdly overstimulated.

You're saying all that red bull. Stop touching the microphone. I will fucking cut your hands off. I just want to move in near closer to my mouth to be good for you, boy. That's what heads are next are for. I'm going to rate Ethan's price of shite items out of 10. I'm going to give him a seven. Yeah.

Because, you know, textbook items, solid stuff. Good items. A seven is a letdown in Pools, mind. It is. You must do better. Very good. Only 10 and above.

Ten and above. Get my gold star. Right. Okay, that's it. Let's wrap this show up. Right, it's time to wrap up Cheap Show for yet another week. Ethan, thank you very much for joining us.

Thank you for having me back. Always a pleasure never at sure. When's your podcast doubt and stuff? It's out every Thursday. Shut up and answer the question. You can catch us. We've been going for not 11 years, but 10 years less than that. That's good, though.

Only a year. Yeah. For a year in a bit now. You appeared on Cheap Show. Was that last year? That was last year. That's when you just started. Yeah, it was around springtime, I think.

Yeah. So, you know, Stolwart. Yeah. He's a Stolwart. It's sort of weird, actually, because I've only ever been, outside of the 250 episodes ago, I'm always on special apps.

You always saved me for the special Xx. This is a special ep. The Walker... But this one was nice because it's like a straight Tetris block. Yeah, though. This is a meat potato's episode. Yeah, nice.

Nice. You were the first one we had as a guest on a walk about. about. Yes. Which is nice. We haven't had lots, and many guests. That was a quest in the epic photos. It was a golden quest.

I think about that day often. It was a really lovely day. It was a lovely day, apart from all those scary teenagers who were judging us with their eyes and thoughts. Yeah. And the mosquitoes. Yeah.

There's a lot of mosquitoes. I tell you what, there may have been a lot of mosquitoes then, but when we went up to fucking rice-slip-lidio the other day, I've never been attacked more veris- foris-snip-snip-snip-ep. EDIP you both to say.

Visciferously. Verific. Vip... Vesiferously. Yes, Siferously. Wow. I've never been

attacked more vociferously by mosquitoes in my life. Jupacara, Bacacacara. Oh, mate. I've got a message

from someone and delete this. It's going to be one of those ones, mate. It's not. It's just a... Just a... Just block this person.

I don't know this number. It's a new one. I just block it everything. Hang on. You can get the AI to fucking... Shut up. You can get AI on your phones. He's been getting

loads of these, man. Yeah, I've got a load of these all from different numbers. I'm not going to, don't need to go to business. When did this start? A couple of weeks ago, just out of the blue. It was unprompted. I just started getting offensive messages, threatening me and him, mostly me.

And threatening us with, like, I got an email the other day, say, if you go ahead with 500, don't expect to live through it, all this kind of weird shit. Hang on, here's another one. I'm going to give you frackers when you order a Chinese mere one, then you're going to eat, and you're allergic to fish, your throat's going to close up, and you're going to die. And then Eli's going to die because he's going to be sad. Well, he included me there. Yeah.

So whoever it is. knows me though, it knows I've got an allergy to Yeah, it's... So it's someone close, I'd imagine. Do you mean the amount? No, you're right, it could be anyone. But didn't you say, sorry, the email said that it was, that don't go to 500?

Yeah, I've been threatening us by saying if the show goes ahead, it'll kill us or whatever. Well, it might be time to pull it then. No, no, I'm not fucking pulling it. It's cost me so much money. There's been tickets sold and I've got the live stream sorted out and we got all the guests. You can probably get insured for that. No, because this is a threat.

No, this is an active threat. We don't give in to terrorists on this podcast. There's this toxicity around it, Paul. This is just someone having a fucking joke, though? You need to nip it in the butt. It's not very funny joke, is it? It's not that funny, no. It's not funny at all.

He said I was going to die. Third story window. Prong crackers. I don't know how I'm meant to die if you eat prawn crackers, though. It's just like, what is it? You were sad, apparently. Yeah. It's like a broken heart.

Well, you know, like it's like an old couple. You're like an old couple. And the husband dies first and the wife hangs around for a week, and then she goes, what's the point? It's like that, I think. You then that would happen with me? Yeah, after I pop off, you're like, well, that's a fucking point.

And then just chug fucking castrol GTX to you die. Castoral GTX. You see, No one has ever committed suicide but drinking motor oil. Well, we don't know that. But it's because you wanted to say castor oil, didn't you? No, I wanted to say castor GTX. Why?

Because then it could go, No one's killed themselves that way, and no one until today said penis onion, so we've learnt something. Oh, blooming penis. Anion. Remember bloomin' onion penis? Blume an onion penis. Now that'd be. A big purple top.

I would highly suggest you don't do episode 500 live now. No. I'm thinking maybe not, Paul. I'm thinking maybe not. This is just nonsense though. I'm not going to cancel a live show. Well, we need to go to the police at least. Lose a hack. Prick. Look, if there's multiple numbers, this is a professional operation. I know.

You should contact at least contact EE, whoever you're with, see if they can do something. They have done it. But they can only can't block a number of that. getting for the first time. Well, then report it to the police. Oh, whatever. It's fine. I just ignore it.

It's fine. Can you just not tell me about it? It gives me anxiety. I refuse to believe there's any ramifications from these death threats. That's all I'm saying. On your head be it. Yeah. And on that spicy note, it's time to end the podcast.

Look, our one-stop shop is our podcast. The Cheap Show.com. No, website. The website is our website. The One-Sop shop would be the website. It said podcast. Snip, snip, snip, snip. Snip, snip, everyone.

Wow, wow. Our website is the one-stop shop that you need to go to, the CheapShore.com. at UK, there's a page there for every episode, and links to all sorts of gubernages and cheap shop videos and tickets for our live show and all those lovely things and also a link to our Patreon. So if you want to help support us, Patreon.com forward slash cheap show,

give what you can, but only if you can't. Review us, rate us, all that stuff. And that is the admin. Well. Scrabble, scrabble, scrabble, scrabble. Ethan, thank you for coming, mate. Thank you for having me, back. Please be careful for the love of God.

I enjoy these. I like listening to it. I like being on it. I don't want anything to happen to use guys. Nothing's going to happen though. All right. Can't down. If you're sure.

I am sure. Wow. Snip snip. Panacea blemange. As in something no one said today. Yeah. I can keep going. I bet you can't think of one poor.

Existential jellyfish. Oh! Somehow that's cheesier than what I come up with, though, isn't it? Yeah. It's derivative. Yeah. How was it derivative to me does it existential? Existential jellyfish.

It sounds like something the Bouch would do. Oh, yes. Yes. No, they would just use the word badger. No, it would. No, it would. Yes, I think you're onto something. The word existential is the kind of word someone reaches for when trying to find a word that sounds random.

It's cutesy, Paul. Sorry, Paul. Don't look at me with genuine hatred like that. Blamonge placenta. I thought I said. He's already said Blamange. I don't believe he said that. Oh, sniff, sniff, sniff.

See you next week, everyone. Bye. I'm