CheapShow - Ep 498: Everything Must Go!

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

It’s eyes down for the forthcoming 500th episode! Paul is clearing out the CheapShow cupboards and aiming to craft a nice blank slate for the future. This week on the podcast, the Cheap Chaps are going to be opening up a couple of PO Boxes to see what’s inside, hoping to clean the decks before the live show. As a result, Paul & Eli are going to tear through, in real time (kinda) TWO Price of Shite challenges and a quick bevy of unusual sodas! How much CheapShow can they cram into ONE hour? Why not listen and find out? It’s a bukkake of toys, books, records, snacks, gadgets and stupid bloody trivia games. And yes, CheapShow is still getting bizarre and increasingly unhinged death threats… Where will it all end? See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-498-everything-must-go GET TICKETS FOR Ep 500 LIVE Cambridge Junction (J2) August 23rd @ 4pm https://www.junction.co.uk/events/cheapshow-podcast-live/ www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Ding, ding, ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong. Everything must go on Cheap Show this week. Roll up, roll up as we clear out our stock as we head towards 500. Ding dong, ding, dong, ding, dong. You heard the guy? Come on, come on, come all. Buy some straw and then go round the side because we got all sorts of things coming up on Cheap Show.

Oh, baby doll, we got a lot of stuff coming up on Cheap Show. We got slashing prizes in hair. We got segments. We got cheap. It ain't 4999. 9999. We've got to take it down to 999.99. That's what we're doing today. Take it down 40099999.

We're still with 59999. As the man said, we've got to go to 999. They don't do they. Oh, I'm shouting sorry. When they do adverts, they don't do that, do they don't say 499. They say 499. They never say 499, do they? They say 499.

It's only 499. I got her. No, well. Do you know how I feel actually now? What, do you know how I feel now? Oh, let me just look for my fucking violin. Do you like I actually. You could put something, put a sound effect in.

Bing bong. No. Oh, do you mean like a real one? We could do the noise of a violin while I'd explain what I feel. All right. Yeah. I feel like I've got all loads of pressure in my head, my sinuses, my ears still blocked from last week. I feel really bleh.

It's hot. I feel low energy. I can't produce the magic anymore. I just saw a video of myself. My beard was lush and brown, brown, very dark. A dark brown. Not no more. Not no more.

Eli is closer to the grave than he was yesterday and then tomorrow he's going to be a bit closer to. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to cheer you all with a little gannon wink and a smile, a little pep and a whip to the words that I say. Shut up. I've got a little bit of upty-do. And I was your father because Eli is like, oh, pity Eli. I'm like, ding-a-ling-ling, it's party town in my pads.

Come on, baby, it's cheap show-tow. And this week on Cheap Show, it's alive. That's what I was going to ask. Well, it's not alive. It's all, it's not live. But it's a real-time episode again, because Gannon's banging out the episodes as we lead up to 500.

We're on the lead up to 500, everybody. We're doing something quite, not special, but we're doing something fun next week. It's a walkabout, but it's going to be a more meaningful walkabout to some extent, isn't it? I hope it's not going to be too exhausting in this unseasonable or, you know, the new normal. Yeah, the new norms.

Up and 30 degrees. Yeah, so we're going to be doing that. But this week, it is a real-time episode. We're going through the stock, We've got two boxes behind me of cheap show stuff, which means we're going to be cramming into 60 minutes, two prices of shites, a froth shop, and candy stuff, candies.

Drinks, soda jerk. The throff is the... I don't know about your nomenclature. I don't get it no more. Your nomenclature has gone out of the window. It's coming. We're wiping the decks clean. We're going to reassert the norms from 500 on.

Tabula rossa. Tabula rasa is the correct phrase. Tabula. roster everyone. Going in as a blank slate from 501. I got nothing. What we're doing instead is we're rocka-tinga-tikig-a-tick-on. Rocka-tick-tik-a-ong today. Is this enough for the... Don't complain. Don't you complain.

All right. Just don't complain. I'm feeling a bit unhinged, Paul. Well, good, because unhinges is what we want today. It's not too hot. It's not. It's not. It's not. You're a liar. Right. So, I'm going to start the music. Do I have to do anything? Yeah, be in the episode with Paulie Wu. Because of my ear, I can't tell how tall and tall I'm talking. How tall you're talking.

How loud I'm talking. You're always too loud. Let's just go with that. You've got horrible mic technique. You have for 11 years. And now you're going, oh, you're becoming self-aware. It's because I've got blocked ear. You've had a block ear for the last couple of weeks, mate.

Honestly, I think it's tumor. Just going to say, I think it's... You'll be sorry if it is. You'll be such... Goblins come out. The goblins come out. You just need to get your ear wax seen or put some drippage in. You know, you need to put a bit of drippage in, don't you?

Oh, yes, I need to get my ear wax seen. I'm going to go to the doctor. Please, I'd like my ear wax seen. And after that, drippage. Dripage, please, surgeon. I would like... I know how to name things. I'm Paul Gannon.

Master of nomicature. Froth shop. What the fuck is that? No one fucking knows. I think you called it that, to be fair. No, it was the order of the frothers or whatever. Remember that? No.

No, I don't remember that. We covered some record or something. It was called the Order of the Froffers. You were just like, whangy, wank, wank, wank. It was when he used to say wank more and sproff off and stuff like that. Have I lost my touch? Yeah, you're just a nasty goblin hoping I get cancer of the ear now. Well, only little bit.

That was the best bit you've done so far as well, and it was the most nasty. It's still better than anything you've done in the... Eleven years. It's going to say... Five minutes since we started this episode. I know. It used to be good. You are good.

Should we go back to that. You're good. You are good man. No, now he's going to pull the rug on this. I'm not. I'm not going to pull the rug. He's going to pull the rug. There's no pull back and reveal here, ladies and gentlemen. Eli is a good man.

Not a good man. No, he's not a good man. What, he's a good man. You know what I mean? He's a good man. No, I'm a silver man. He's the silver man. So we've got lots of stuff to cram into the hour.

We've got way too much. Are we going to keep to the hour? Yes, I am going to put the credit music in, the full whack one. And then, once we're out of that, bit, bip, bip. I've got a timer ready to go. Have you? You're going to use the timer on your phone? Yeah.

So we're ready to go. I'll time it. I'll time it better than you. I'll time it as well. I'll time it better than you. Well, I don't care. I don't care if you care. Time is subjective.

Time is. Oh, we're coming to the end of my hour. Oh, thank you, Paul. Thank you. Check's in the mail. Thanks, Paul. I'm leaving now. Thank you.

It's good doing it. It's a bit. I got all the between. Is this a bit? Yes. It's my own personal hour. It's come to an end. We're at the end, aren't we?

Who am I? I don't know. I'm moving the chair. I wouldn't be against you leaving. You couldn't keep it up for an hour. I'd lose me mind. I can't play Price of Shite by myself. Exactly.

It'd be a terrible thing. Oh, I'm going to make a prediction on the price of shites. You're going to wipe the floor with me. Ptwazzle. Petwizzle Wazzle. I mean, like so I pachal him. Well, you're a horrible man. I've gone against what I said earlier.

You're not a goodman. You're a horrible man. Here comes the rug. Right. So are you ready for you. for one hour of full-on cheap show, everything must go. Can you turn your phone off, by the way? What do you mean off?

Hang on, let me check, let me check. Okay. Let me check. Oh. It's another one. It's another one. I knew it was going to be one of these fucking weird ones again. It's just another one of these messages.

Do you want to hear it? No. It's from the blank number. Here, oh, here we go. I'm going to do a sort of human centre aid with you and Eli, except for instead of ass to mouth, it's going to be, I'm going to stick your asses together. It's not very nice, is it.

It's not very nice, is it? I'm beginning to get, like, really upset by these messages. Oh, Paul, just someone had got your number. He's just playing a brand. Just change my number. I might have to change my number. You might have to. No, but we've got to do the live show.

Despite the threats and the emails and the weird AI pictures that have been sent of me doing horrible things to other things. I'm not even going to get into what I've been sent. Anyway, I made a couple of quid off them. Are you ready to go then? Oh, we've ruined the atmosphere. I had a lonely load of buildup. I am ready to go.

I want some petwanage. This is the word you were grasping for. This is the ultimate. I will petwone you. You will betwang. And I would like some soda from the soda jerk. We got lots to go. Are there any sweeties?

We've got lots to do. For the ding-a-ling throp shop. Yeah, we got lots to do. We got lots to do. Throp shop. This is the... Get a... Press the credit.

We need to get going. Press them. Oh, you fucking tell me. Well, don't then. I won't then. I mean, I will. Duck season. Rabbit season.

It's the fucking credit. Pusses and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. I'm job. I hate you. I got a fucking moosey. And we're on the clock. And we're off.

We're off 59 minutes. Welcome to Cheap Show. Cheap Show is a comedy, economy podcast for your ears. Myself, Eli. Silverman, and that's Paul Gallon. We go up and down the country, sometimes abroad, looking for the cheapness that we find amongst the trash that is the treasure as well in that trash amongst it. It could be charity shops, it could be poundlands, it could be bargain bins, it could be thrift doors, dollar trees, it could even be an old-fashioned bizarre or jumble sale.

Orchinsites, all of them. It could be any of them. Orchins sites. Orchard sites. Orchard sites. Orchins sites. That's it in the seabed. See it, it's called E-boy. You go on, you go on boy and you buy an urchin. That's how I got our urchin back in the day. Ah. Uh, backstory lore. Open this box, mate. So, we are a podcast.

Hello, welcome to it. And here we go. So we play a game called the Price of Shite where people send us items and we have to value them for... Oh, we're going straight in with the... Mate, we've only got an hour. We've got two... We've got so much to get through.

We've got two prices of shites. Did we need writing down for this one? Is there a letter? Can I read the letter for once, please? Oh, my new specs. I can wear my new specs? Actually, can you read the second letter? Because there's things in this one I need to skip for surprises.

But, uh... Okay. We are both playing against each other, though. Yeah. There's a sealed... I haven't seen anything. There's a sealed price list. I only opened these boxes a little while ago.

P. Um, for those of you who may have forgotten, the price of shite is the game we play a lot here on cheap show. I would argue too much these days, but go on. It's the price guessing game. Um, usually the rules are as follows. If you guess the price exactly right, you get two betwiings.

Two betwiings on the nose. Two pet wings, meaning two points. You say two pounds, it is two pounds. That's two per twings. That's two betwiings. But if you are 25P either way wrong of the actual price, that's only one between. That's only one.

How dare you? So you basically get one between for getting quite close. Now, that margin, the 25p margin either side of the price, that sometimes is extended to 50p. Can you? We won't be doing that today, though. There is also stock. Oh, you're going to mention the quid gambit.

I might as well just expand it out to because this one will be of note in this game. It has a quidgambi. Okay. There is also an extra rule. An extra rule. Because so many items over the years were one pound. One pound. The quids gambit came into play.

So if one of the items, in the selection of items, usually chosen by you, are lovely listenership, if one of those is a quid and we guess it as a quid. Yeah, we sniff it out. You get double per twinge. So you get the two pet wings for being exactly on the nose. And the two bonus per twings for getting the quid's gambit right. Four per twings, just for that. All together.

Now, you can only use the quid's gambit once. That's a rule we don't often mention, but it is a rule that we've should. Yes. I was getting confused last week whether we can only use it once or if there's only one item. See, that's one item. That is a quid. But also, it's immaterial. No, but you can't put a quid's gambit on five items, for example.

You have to commit to one. You could guarantee four petings there, couldn't you? Which is a lot more than, I didn't see that loophole. I know, but you still have to say. Do you see that devious loophole? Because that's what I'm saying you shouldn't do. He's just closed it, but it was there before. Yeah, but it was open. It was gaping open.

No one's even done that. It was wet and warm. It was gaping open and I walked past it and it went right tight, closed. Oh, like a Triffid. Just like a Triffid or. A fanny, yes. A lady's front garden. I'm getting excited by this record I can see.

Let's shut up. Here we go. Right. Hi there, cheap show, lads. This one comes from Lisa and David in Norwich. Hello, Lisa and David. Just wanted to send you some goodies. Me and my husband have carefully selected some items for a price of shite from a selection of charity shops here in Norwich.

Norwich. There's them pickings at the moment, but we did our best. That's been a kind of rule of thumb for a lot of charity shops at the moment. Slim Pickings. It feels to me, Paul, like the whole of the world economy is teetering on the edge

of a huge sort of depression. Hey, I've got a question. There's a singer called Slim Pickings, isn't there? A country Western guy called Slim Pickens. Or an actor called Slim Pickens. But there's a phrase called, oh, that's Slim Pickens.

What came first? Did he call himself Slim Pickens after your idea? His parents came first, conceived him. And then used the well-established phrase, Slim Pickings. So the real name was Pickens. It was Mr. Mrs. Pickens.

It's like hard cheese. He was another actor. There's no actor called Hard Cheese. Oh, he's called Hard Cheese. That's not even funny, like, conceptually. It's just, no, Slim, it's a pun because Slim is a nickname a lot of people. Like Fats or Slim or, you know, it's one of those American nicknames. Or Chubs.

Chubby. Chubs. McGrue. Yeah. Right. So there is a quid, gambit in the mix, and all the items came to a total of 10 pound. We've got a ceiling, 10 pound, tops, 10 pound. I don't know.

Did they add anything about how they like the show or anything like that at the bottom, please? Eli is the best one in Cheap Show. Is that all right? Yes. Right, here the prices. I literally have opened this box just now, so I haven't seen them. They're going over. It looks pretty legit, everyone.

Put it under the bust of your head looking like Ben Mendelsso. Maltzzi's having a rest today. So I'm going to... Put it under the... No, I'm actually going to put it behind Bully. Okay. A 3D printed bronze bully. It's right there.

Shiva's up there as well. Getting a bit religious there. Mostly for Jostics. So, bullies looking after it and it was confirmed that that bronze bully was for the charity throw game.

It was a rubber bully that you got as a contestant. So that's the one like Eric Bristair would win the charity throw of the season and then take it on tour with them as a kind of charity raising kind of thing.

Right. So that would be with that. And that's one of them? Yeah. Even though it's 3D printed? Yeah. Okay. That's what it is.

It's meant to be a bronze bully, the charity throw. Right. Item number one then. I'll just get out the way record Eli describe it I won't be playing

anything from this so it's all going to be a compilation on arcade records very similar to KTel one of these absolute landfill

advertised on TV cheap record labels of the 70s MFP these are more these are more a bit later

like into the 70s music for pleasure is right through the 50s and 60s yeah this is like KTel so who owns arcade

I'm not sure of interest because usually there's a big daddy company behind these kind of things they see it's distributed by William Levine Limited, Wilsden Lane it's British

there was loads of them like charisma which some of the the Monty Python LPs came out on yes that was a similar like bargain bin record label

that used to exist for compilations and best of arcade they're always compilations and this one's called what black music right

on the most original hits because when this came out seen on TV so they're That's the thing. It's like it's been advertised. Yes.

That's it. So when this was released, I'm pretty sure black music was becoming more and more of a thing in the, not generic, but you know, the general. Crossing over. Yeah, crossing over. This is from, it doesn't say when this. It's going to be 70s, though, like mid to late 70s. It must be mid to late 70s. I would say 78.

The playlist very quickly. Yeah, go for it. And see if you know any of these. You see, it's still very much tokeny. I know for the first track. It's condescending just to call it black music. Do you know what I mean? It is because that's a campaign.

match all for soul, it's almost meaningless. It's like... Reggae. It's whatever. The whole of your fucking so-called rock and roll pop scene, white establishment,

is based on black music, so to speak, anyway. The blues, baby. The fuck's sake. The Dan Aykroyd musical career. It's just... What are the tracks we got on it, quick.

We've got... Side one, Carl Douglas, Kung Fu fighting. That's a novelty track more than anything else, though, but because it was a huge hit, you stick it on the album. Yeah, it's... As a novelty song,

fucking rocks though, doesn't it? It's all right. I don't find it's one of those songs I like to listen to, even ironically. If you want to hear a really good Carl Douglas tune, which finder general of the LP. That is a good one.

We've done that on the poll, I'm sure we are. So good. Go on quick. Then we've got Love Unlimited, love's theme, Love Unlimited, with a group that Barry White used for his references.

You're going to have to skip through the good stuff because otherwise this is going to take up like 50 minutes and we have two prices of shit. We've got the driftsers, kissing in the back row of the movies. See, that's that goes back to like the 60s, isn't it? OJ's love trains.

Staplesoners, if you're ready. All of these are really well-known. Sweet sensation, sad, sweet dreamer. Although, weirdly, they were the crossover hits. So, yeah. You've got something that it seems a bit reggae adjacent, Rupy Edwards, eyrie feelings, scounda. Iry feelings, yeah.

I don't know that. It's all right. Let's have a little look. I won't have a little look. Summer Breezed by the Isley Brothers, an absolute stone cold classic. You know that's a cover version? Yes.

The Times, you little trust maker, harv and Melvin in the blue tones. Oh yeah, there's an Isley brothers. Yeah, it's, you know, it's an introductory. And also it suffers from. If you take out the actual vinyl, look at it. Look how many they've shoved on. The sound quality is going to be terrible,

and there's just a certain level of amplification. You're not going to be able to get it past without totally distorting. Yeah. All the music here is from 1969, 73 and 74. They're the, uh, yeah. Seventy-four, 772. You do, you would. It's not a great way to enjoy any of that music, even if you're into it.

Mr. Silverman. In a charity shop in Norwich In a 10 quid top 10 quid topper Yeah so record It's gonna be Hmm

What It's gonna be between 50 and a quid I'd say So a quid You're gonna say a quid For now Is that a quid's gambit That's gonna be the quid's gambit

Right You see I was also gonna play the quid's Gambit But I kind of want to mix this up So I can't have another look at the end Can we I'm gonna say 150 Oh my God it's so hot in here

It's not hot in here I'm perfectly fine I feel great I'm sweating my arse off. Item two, Eli. Explain. It's real time. We've got an hour of this.

Can we have a little breeze then? No, no, no. Get on with it. What we've given you out. It's our Willie. I'll get my Willie out unless you open the window. Get our Willie out.

Just get some breeze, please. It's fucking 30 degrees. I won't. I won't. Stomping around like a bell. Not stomping around. Thank you. It's not going to make that much of a difference.

There's no. It's called... I'm holding... Oh, that is nice. At last, humanity returns. Orio, fucking out. People going by outside, listen to this shit. How embarrassing for us.

Goblin Paul, Goblin Paul. I'm moving on. This is a book called Ower Willey. Ower Willey. Which is a series of comic strips. I presume that became popular in Scottish newspapers at first and then crossed the border. Nationally, yep.

But effectively, it is the kind of Scottish Dennis de Menace. Is that his deal? Yes. That's very generalistic. He's naughty. He's a naughty. boy. He's a wee naughty Scottish laddie called Ur-Willie. And like they stick him on everything, don't they? Like we've had the iron brew candy that had R.

Willie candy. Was he published by D.C. Thompson who published the B. No, this says Sunday post and I couldn't tell you any more than that without looking on Instagram, which, you know, Wikipedia, which are you guys. Eli's right, D.C. Thomas. This is from 1998 and it's a collection of Ur-a-Willi cartoon. D.C. Thompson. D.C. Thompson, yeah. Paul. Reading comics, late at night, nay wonder, waltz no feeling right, right.

Yeah. It's like a little kind of, what I don't even want to call that, a couple of lines of stands of poetry. There's little poetry to sum up the little story. Oh, that's unusual, isn't it? He wants to be in Willie's gang. He thinks he does, but not for lang.

He's been up all night smoking the smack, and then in the morning he's fucking punctured his sack with a straw blowing into it. Like some people do to get off. Oh! I didn't listen to that. He gave me a weird look. With a shot.

Cats off to him. Go on do a funny one involving drugs. Do a funny one. I could be wrong for a bit of frotting, but references are mostly train spotting. Thank you. It's not very funny, but it works. It's your go to guess first.

We could be here for 20 minutes if you read out all of those. You just read one of these two out of the Scottish accent. I want to hear it. Go on, what's what I want to do. I want to hear that. I can't do a Scottish accent. I know that's why I want you to do it.

With the window open for strangers going by. It seems to be your chores she got. There's something wall is my mouth. forgot. A gruesome sight. What can it be? What is it that he can see? I've took me knob out.

Here we go. I've spunked. With my cock, I felt quite silly. I stuck it up, that poor old, Willie. How, yes. All right, this is, this is... This, uh, Willie, I'm going to say is £2. pound. I'm going to say 150.

Let's move it on. 150. Move it on. We've only got an hour. 150. We've got way less than an hour now. Two pound for me. Right. We've got I'm not, I need to check. We've got 47 minutes left on the clock. Okay. Right. Next one.

No, for fuck's sake. He's handing it to me. What is it? Oh, we were talking about key chain things, weren't we? We're going to do a video about. This is Hasbro Gaming. Monopoly, Real Mini, game inside.

Yeah. It's like a little mini... Oh, an actual miniature board game. It isn't, it isn't. It is a tiny key ring version of Monopoly, right? However, it's not really monopoly. It's like you don't get banknotes and you don't get cards and houses. And it's like...

You don't. But it says here mini-sized original gameplay. Yeah, it's original gameplay, which means it's original to this model of gameplay. It's not the original gameplay. It's not the original game... Hasbro. Because I've got a Cludeau one of this. Yeah.

And it's almost the game Cludo. But what makes it different is you have less cards and there's different kind of ways of gathering crews. But they couldn't miniaturize no, because think about it, the tiny little houses

you'd have to put in this and like the bank notes it wouldn't work so you can see with this if you look at it it's all pop out cards and like little mini dice and like it's not quite,

it's not quite monopoly as you'd play it. Dinky little item. Yeah, it's a nice little thing. It's like it's about the size of a, I don't know, a box of grapes. Two pounds, 25.

Yeah. It's not the size of a box of grape. Raisins, sorry, which are grapes, but when they're babies. Grapes are baby rabies. Anyway. Raisins are baby grapes? I'm going to say. Is that what you believe?

Yeah. Raisins are old grapes. They're old. And grapes are baby raisins. Grapes are baby raisins. Grapes are baby raisins. Yeah. I'm going to say, hmm.

Oh, I'm going to say, I'm going to say two quid again. Two quid. What did I say? 225. Yeah, yeah. It's going to be around there, isn't it? I don't think we're going high enough of any of this, because we've got to get up to 10. What I've got so far?

I've got 5.50. No, we've got... Two items. Next one is... Oh, yeah, there's three items, actually. Okay. The next item is Stephen Mulhern's astonishing magic box of tricks, 25 amazing tricks anyone can do, provide you eight and above.

Should I know who Stephen Mulhern is? Yeah, look at him. Is that conto's on every single ITV show who isn't Anton deck? You know, he did catchphrase for a bit. He usually started out as like a kid's TV presenter on CITV. But he doesn't do magic? Yes, he does. He started out as a magician.

That was his like as a child. But he doesn't do it anymore. No, he does a lot of magic stuff. I can imagine mostly for corporate events and things like that. Just the look in his eyes, the sort of dead look in his eyes, has given me the fucking fear. Yeah. He's like a corporate.

Yeah. And this is one of those magic sets you get that's not that expensive and, you know, everyone gets them. Look at his fucking stupid, mugging face. face with his stupid black polo neck on. Oh my word. Because you know what I don't like about magicians, how they dress? It's like there's always this sense of I must dress mysteriously or like a carnival barker.

Some of them must. I mean, Penantella, like just to go for the suits. Yeah, but Penitone were always the exception that proves the rule, right? You know, my friend went when he was in, because he works in Vegas. Yeah. During the... Did he go see Pen and Teller? Yeah.

And was it good? Oh, dear. Same, apparently, just basically the same trick where they force something again and again and again. Okay. And a bit low energy. And they're all both in their 70s. Yeah, no, they're old folk.

They've been doing that show for 30 years or something, haven't they? Yeah, blast off, all that magic stuff and they're catching a bullet trick. And they used to, apparently, they used to have like elephants and stuff. They used to do that type of illusion. Like come out of elephants, bum old. No, with animals. And he said, there's none of that now. It's just them sort of sitting around table going to choose a card.

Choose a card. You know what I mean? Because they're ancient. Yeah. Oh, well. Anyway, this is Stephen Mulhern, who's got a box of magic. Fuck him. I object to his.

face. Do you know what I mean? It's got a wand. How did he get big? Well, I don't know. I'm threatening. He's safe. He wouldn't be safe around me. He started out in kids TV.

He could turn me. Okay, I didn't see that coming. Right. So, it comes with a wand. It comes with a couple of magic tricks. It comes with one of those boxes, like the drawer. You know, one of those ones where it's like... Oh, I'm so bored.

Oh, look, it's empty, Eli. I don't care. But if what, look, but now it's got a thumb in. It's got a little fake thumb in and a blanket. They can pull off the thumb? Yeah, you know, to do the magic trick. Why not been that? You could because it is small and tiny.

And small and tiny. And narrow and tiny and narrow and tiny and small. And macro... Micro, phallas. Is that what you want me to say? I don't have that. No. That's a real...

It's a real condition that people suffer from. Yes, it is. It's not funny unless it is. Right. So you've got that. But how much Eli is the magic set? That's going to be like around... Oh, no.

It's my turn to guess first, isn't it? Yes. So I would say... I like this because you're... I might need to change my prices here. Yeah, but you're better on this kind of thing because it's more your wheelhats. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, mate.

That's what I was thinking. Yeah, go on. That's what I was thinking. Well, you know... 275. 275 says are you like. Right, next one is... Oh, it's a little silly thing.

It's a little silly dinosaur. There's a dinosaur like this. This can live at my house. Can it live at my house? Can I have this dinosaur? You've got to name it. Gerard. No.

Right. Dino. No, you call it. anything you want, love. But it's a little T-Rex type thing, isn't it? Gerard. Gerard, the T-Rex. Gerard, the fake plastic green dinosaur. He's cool.

You know, he's not anatomically correct. Okay. Compared to what people think they had now. I'm saying 75P. Do you know what is missing? Do you know what that's missing? Cock. Big fucking dangling.

Do you know what dinosaurs? And dinosaurs, they've found all of them were that they don't, this doesn't portray. What? Feathers. Oh, yeah, of course, the feathers. And a cock. You've got for some nice orange. You never see cock in Jurassic Park, do you?

You don't see Vaj in Jurassic Park either, Paul. And that's what I think is what brings that film down, isn't it? It'll be called Jurassic Park, Park Your Cock in My Vaj. Otherwise. Jurassic pork. We're just doing that thing where we try to think of porn. Pretty shitty gang bang. There we go, we got it.

Pretty shitty gang bang. How much for the dinosaur? Is that your gag? No. Who do you nick that off? I don't know. I heard it when I was like 15. I don't know.

Look, it looks like he's swimming. Yeah, how much? How much? Oh, I would say. You've got 40 minutes left, how much? Come on, we've got another box as well. You're not letting me speak. Go on.

Two pounds. Two. I said 75P. Fine item. I think you might like this one. All right. Eli, explain what this is. 150, I want to revise that.

What's this? It's a pack of cards. Yeah, but what to say on the front? The crooked pack. Why do you think it's crooked before you open it? What makes it crooked? Why is it a crooked pack of cards? Hey, what do you think?

It's probably, a visual gag and the actual cards are at a slant in some way or the design is... Have a look. Have a look then. Oh, I've got itchy balls.

Yeah. It's going to be like, oh, this is a crooked. Look, I can see it on the back. I'll open it up. It's the design. I know, well done. You saw the outside.

Now open it up and reveal the cards and then tell everyone their magic of what it is. Just tap it out. Pop it, tap, tap. Tap, tap. Come on. 39 minutes, go.

Fuck sake. Come on, tap, tip. They're not coming out easily, Paul. I know in a handle cart. I know how to open a fucking box of cards. I'll close this window in a minute if you keep expostulating. All right, carry on.

They're crooked. They're crooked. They're all little wiggles zigzag. Can I have these at my house? Yes, you can have those. Keep those at my house. You like cards, don't you? Yeah.

You can add them to your next cheap shot video where you talk about your next batch of uninteresting fucking cards. Can I keep these at my house? It's a pure novelty nonsense. Yeah. You don't need them other than the fact that they're wonky. It's a, yeah. A pun on crooked.

Because when people talk about crooked cards, of course, they talk about Mark Decks. Like Sengali sets and stuff like that. What's the Svengali set? A type of card magicians use that are slightly thinner at one area in the top. So when you split them and split them, you can feel the difference in the... Someone trained, such as a card mechanic, they call them, yes.

So how much, though, for the cards, Eli Silverman? How much for those cards? Oh, these are good. These are good. I'm going to go one, five, one... I'm going to go two pounds on this. All right. Two pounds, I want to...

So I'm going to say 50p for those. But go on. Right. for the record you said the quid, oh, I didn't play a quid's gambit at all. Oh! You know what I'm going to do for just shits and giggles. I'm going to say the monopoly thing was the quid's gambit.

Okay. Quid's gambit. Right, so the record you said, let's just get straight into it. Unless you want to change any price. I didn't want to change price. All right, so you said quid's gambit for the record. You said,

our willie was £1.50. The monopoly game was $225. The magic was $2.75. The dino was two quid. and the cards were two quid. So you've gone over by at least like a quid or two. I just want to go. I want to go.

Dinosaur, one pound 25. One. Twenty-five for the dinosaur, yeah. Is that it? And the cards, £1.50 for the cards. Right, I shall go over to Bully. They're going to get Bully. I don't need Bully.

I picked up Bully. I didn't get the question, did I? Silly rabbit. Right. You can read them then, so you. you don't accuse me of fucking cheating. Right. Here we go.

He's opening up the Price of Shite letters now. Here we go. Lisa and Dave's prices. Yeah, Lisa and Dave from Norwich. Thank you. A great selection. A great selection. Everything must go.

This is going to be bad for both of us, isn't it? Yeah, I've just seen. All right, go on. So we're going to start with the black music compilation. Which is funny how we did start. So, yeah, I said 150. You said quid gambit. 50p.

50p. Ooh. Oh, dear. Miniopoly. Oh, Miniopoly. Mini Monopoly, yeah. I didn't see that. Does that what it says on it? No. No. It says Monopoly, right?

It just says real mini-game. This is a little joke they've put in, the price of it. And a good one, thank you. Oh, they misspelled Monopoly, no? No. That's it. They've disverted our expectation. Miniopoly, Miniopoly, key chain.

So I said quids gambit, you said 225. Three pounds. Yeah, we fuck this. Right next. Dinosaur toy. Dinosaur, you said 125. I said 75. It is £1.50.

So you get a betwing? I do get between. There you go. Bidding. Nothing for me. Next is what? The magic said. Okay, you said 275. I said three.

It was $2.50. Another between for me. Oh, another between for him. And then finally the cards. No. We've got the woolly book. Oh yeah, willy book. 150 say you.

Two pounds, say I. One pound. Neither. That was the quid scamb bit. Oh, yeah, of course. And then finally the cards. And the crooked cards. And they were...

Well, what I said? You said 150. I said 50. What? 150. Really? Two per twings for me. There you go.

Totally ran. And I shat the bed all over the place. But everything must go. My prediction coming true. Everything must go. There's still one more to go. But until we come there... Well played. Can we have some a drink?

A little drinky to put. That's what we're going to do now. Because where are we? We're at 35 minutes, right? So, do you want to do the candy first and then the drinks? I don't mind. candy and then I'll bring the drinks in. Oh, we've got the drinks in the fridge, yeah.

I'll tell you what, yeah, I'll save those for a thing. He doesn't want to give me all the candy. I'm giving you all the candy and you can explain to them what's in this bag while I go get the drinks. Is that acceptable? That's acceptable, yes. He's handed me a little bag. You explain.

It's a real-time episode, so you can't fanny around and do nothing. I'm not fine. We've done these before. There are some things we've done before in this bag. There are two packets of, camel balls These, Finney is the manufacturer These are camel balls

It has a Camel's ass pictured on this suite And I believe it's some kind of gum A fruit flavoured gum And we did before, of course Because it's the type of thing we do On this podcast

Then also by Finney Now this is more interesting What is it? A mini burger gum ketchup Like liquid filled, it says. Why did it say that? Ketchup, like liquid filled.

Like liquid filled. It's ketchup like filled. It's filled with ketchup. Ketchup like filled gummy. No, it's filled with ketchup like liquid. It's confusing, isn't it? Well, I'll be eating that and see. I've brought in the drinks in the fridge. Is it going to have a savory tank?

I don't know. We'll find out. How many of you do with these? I'm almost there, bro. Oh, come on. Click clock. Have you come back with the drinks, have you? Yes, I'm right there.

And I'm ready to go and Paul is still giving all the energy while Elii dragged his intellectual feet here today so go on. See, the goblin. The goblin's back, everyone. Tango Blue Raspberry Shockers, this is a chew. So Tango, the soft drink company, likes to make it's candies, here is that. A blue raspberry one. And what's the other one? Blue Raspberry

is shaking over the world of flavour, as we know. It has been for several years. It's been a cherry. Cherry baby. And lastly, an apple shocker. It's hot here, isn't it? Yes, Paul, it is. And it's hard to work in this heat, actually. It's not for me, though. I just, I was

You're saying it was hot. No. I didn't say anything. See, little chink of weakness. He's taking his trousers off. I wasn't expecting that. I've got shorts on, but he's now in his undies, which is... All right, Paul, that was...

I'm not going to... It's fine. I'm going to pull my shirt down. Fine, Paul. Don't just don't get a wrecky. Right. Can't promise. Hey all.

What drinks did you have? Can you catch the fish? Can you stop? Can you stop? Catch the minnow. Catch the minnow. This is enough. Catch the minnow.

Stop saying catch the minnow. Paul. Oh, God, quite, face. It's good. He feels, it barely... Shouldn't have done this one. Right. Go on.

Right, it's heat the wind. It's got another heat waves. Yeah. Tell them about the drinks because they go on from the tango. Rosa Mary, what they call? Lisa and David sends. something from the froth shop. Lisa and David.

We taste the tango sour drink to the day, refreshing in this apocalyptic heat. Cool. Best served chilled. I've just poured them out the fridge. And then there are some sweets in there you find interesting. Tango chews, camel balls,

liquid ketchup centre burgers. We have those because we have to spit them out because they're... Keep up the good work, guys. You are the highlight of our week and we always eagerly away to the pod every Friday. Much love for all the last you've given us over the years. Thank you, David and Lisa.

Thank you very much, David and Lisa, and thanks for listening for all these years. Let's do... Tango Tango Tango, Tango, Tango, Tango. Oscar Tango. And then Camel Boles. Oscar Tango, Tango Charlie. Asca Tonga Charlie. That's a racist film from the past we don't talk about.

Right. We'll do Tango Chew, Tango Drink. Tango Chew Tango Chew Tango Drink. Okay, let's start then, because these are sours. What are the flavours of sours we've got? Oh yeah, Tango souras. It's got watermelon sugar-free and tropical sugar-free. things are both going to be horrible.

I'm going to open the watermelon just to keep the speed of this episode. We don't like that. I'm opening the blue rars shocker chew. Yeah. Pleasing smell. Yeah. That's a... Smell that.

It's pleasing. It's like a real candy. It's a really candy flossy smell. I'll say what. Bite off the top and then I'll bite off the other end. And then what do I do with the chew? You shall float me till my birthday. Right.

I'm going to pour some of this watermelon. Oh, it's very true. I'm not going to be out of that. Action for at least 30 seconds now. Don't have a big bite. I took it too big a bite. Hang on. That's all right for what it is, but it's unremarkable.

Yeah, I ate too much. Which are these... It's just what it is, isn't it? It's a very sour, not that sour, but sour forward. Like a wambi. Wham was I was thinking that. Right, this is watermelon tango sour drink. Ooh.

Smells all right to the nose, a bit creamy. But other than that, it sounds all right. I'm going to go in. That's all right. That's all right, actually. Oh, I like that. Are these just a limited edition? Couldn't tell you.

That's nice. That's presumed so. That's nice. Really sweet. Yeah. And the sour just, it's, it kind of masks the as far too. Yeah. Don't you agree?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very nice. Right, next I'm going to go with tango shocker cherry. The watermelon works there. Do you know what I mean? I'm not getting any of the unpleasantness of the watermelon. No. Oh.

Oh. No, you're right, it's kind of weaknesses. I haven't spotted those. I haven't spotted those near me because they usually get everything. Which of the shockers is this? It's a pink, it literally is fresh-colored. Looks like he's shopping down on a very flat willy. It almost smells of almonds.

Yes, cherry and almond have a lot of overlap as flavours, don't they, if you think about it? Yeah? That's Marzipan. That flavour is very cherry, isn't it? I guess. I've never really noticed it, but yeah, there's a correlation there. It's like that vomit taste back of the throat. and parmesan.

That was all right, but I think I preferred the other one. That one's a bit more subtle in its kind of flavor profile. It's not that cherry. It's not that sour. No, I'll give it it. Not working. Not working. So no for that.

Right. Go for the other sour now. So now we've got tropical sugar-free tango-souers. Turn up the tang, it says on the outside. Oi, you, recycle me. It also says on the sticky label. Don't say, oy. Oe, gov.

Well. It's tropical, is it? Tropical, yeah. You see, on the nose, it's like, typical. When you think of tropical soda, this is what I smell in my head. There aren't many tropical sodas out there, though, that are all tropical. We had Lilt. Lilt was discontinued and then became Fanta Tropical, right? You don't see Fanta tropical a lot.

There's not that many. Ryo, would you call that a tropical? Yeah, I would actually. And who's the other one that isn't Tango? Because I'm sure Tango do a tropical drink, and then there's another brand. That's what Lilt. Lantor. Fanta.

Anyway, I'm going to drink this. Fanta Tropical. That's what Lilt became. Not as successful as the water. I never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer the watermelon. That one 10 is like almost lemony. Yeah. It's almost too lemony.

It's okay. I wouldn't say I hate it. I like that sour. That sour is doing something else for me. It's doing a lot of work to lift it off from the fake sugar flavor. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But it sort of works better for the watermelon, would you say? Yeah, because this has left a little kind of, like soapy,

it's not as good. It's not as good. The watermelon better, definitely. I never thought I'd see the day where I, Paul Gannon, extolled the virtues of. watermelon-flavored things. Yes. Now, are you ready for ketchup-like liquid to spill into your mouth? You've got little mini burgers here, buy Finney.

Oh, they've got a hard shell. Oh, they do. Do you feel that sort of glossy hard shell? Yeah, like a can of a... And it's going to splop. Like an M&M. It's going to splop right into your gob onto your tongue. Oh, it's got like a little jam donut.

It's got a little bit of gummy in. Yeah. Is it chewy gum? It's gum. That's the barber. It's not ketchup like. It's... I don't like this.

Just cheap bubblegum Why don't you like it It's got like a yeasty nose It's got some kind of weird I'm not getting a yeasty note It's got a marsy panny No It's cherry flavoured

It's cherry flavoured It's chery flavoured, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, fucking horrible Alright that's just going in there And that's just going in there Ugh Give me your camel balls

Oh we've done those before Years ago Do you remember No, that's why That's may as well do it You want to do it You've got 26 minutes Come on

And we've got another price Of shite to go There's your camel ball So what's a cannon Camin balls then Oh it's bull Gum again. Chickle, it's extra sour. Right. Oh, God, it looks like

a, well, yeah, it looks like a camel's ball. I'm going to not do it, Paul, if you don't mind. Because it's going to be more gum in my mouth. What does it taste like? Does it have a scented thing? No, it's just a big bludge of brown, and it doesn't taste of anything other than... Cheap too, bubble gum. Yeah. Hmm, no.

That's what it is. I get a marsy pan note to that, I don't like. It's a show of marsy pan, this... Hey, I put my gum in that, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I can't... I'll just keep true. That's the whole point. That's why I put it in the cup

so I can just... Ugh, no. And now we can end with the tango apple, I guess. Do you want to? Oh, we forgot that. It's just going to taste like a tango. You just skip it. Let's get to the next price of shite.

Come on. Right. I completely... How many petrines did I get there? Now, imagine if this was the other way round. Wouldn't that be funny? Wouldn't it be funny if this was the other way around now? You saw that, everyone.

4-0. All right. So E and P. And then I don't know how many items there are, because I haven't really looked in this box properly yet, but let's fucking do it. Right, okay. Yeah, it takes smells of apple, don't it?

Right. Item number one. Those are the answers. Don't look at them. I did know what... Close it, close it! That's the letter as well. I don't think it is.

The letter's there as well. I don't know where the letter. It is a letter. I read this letter. Yeah, you go for it. Right. You ready? Yeah, go for it.

I'm going to move the mic close to me. Yeah, fine. I'm just going to hide. I'm put these prices over here by Bulley again. Okay. I spotted some numbers there. I know, so did I. But I didn't put them next to it.

I can't relate to anything. Let's see what the letter says, Paul. Let's do that. Hey, Paul and Eli. Hello. Oh, God, I feel quite sick after a while. I present to you a price of shite. My willie's out.

I've been meaning to send this for about... Actually, my will... No one really cares. It was just... It was a great moment. The lips of it were just... Pop it out of the slop at the front for a... You are disrespecting our listener who sent this box into us, Paul.

I've just got to get all my junk in one place. With all this... I'm talking in. Right, don't look. Stop looking at me. I'm not looking at me. I see your eyes, looking me up and down, like meat. Makes me sick.

I'm not looking at you. Why, is it because I'm dressed like this? It's my fault, is it? Oh, my God. The fucking narcissism of the man. You know, yeah, it's fine. Can I read the letter? Yeah.

That someone has sent to us. Go on. That you're disrespecting. Sorry. Just to put a... How long have we got? Underline that. She's wasting time.

Hey, Paul and Eli. 23 minutes. Hey, Paul and Eli. Hey. I present to you a shot... Oh, dear. I present to you a price of shite. Good.

I've been meaning to send this for about five years. See, important. And now we're tossing it off. Sorry. Stop. Go on. And it even moved house with me. Blimey.

That's commitment. It's an array of fun stuff, i.e. No glass sweets. Right. How do you remember that? Yes. That's one of the earliest things you fell in love with on this podcast.

I bought it at the car boot sale. Is that right? I think I did. Yeah. You were like underwhelmed. But look, it's, it's, it's, Last in a legacy. I think I don't have it anymore.

Oh. Just like a full beard. Shut up, mate. Go on. Read the letter. No glass, sweet. Sorry. Shouted with the window.

Come on. Including some things to look through and play with. Oh, good. Tell Eli, well, I am Eli and you can tell me. You can read, say it directly too. Lee. The name is Lee. Yeah, E. Lee.

Tell Eli, I'll be sending some records down at some point when I sought through my collection. Oh, thanks very much, Lee. Oh, that's good, isn't it? Cheers, Lee. P.S. Whatever happened to that canvas print of Eli, dressed as Mario gave you as a present. And I think Digi Live, question mark.

I don't think I ever saw that, did I? Is it the... I got that, yeah. Because you dressed as that for a Digi Live and so if you did a canvas. You have? Yeah, I gave that away. Don't say it like that, you horrible cunt. Sorry, Lee.

You horrible cunt, Eli. Right, item number one. P.S. Whatever. That's what he said. Yeah, that's what you said. There is... Listen, Lee has done a proper fucking... What? List of little rules the way we're going to run this game. Okay, Paul. You ready?

You're ready? Explain them already. So what's he adding? Seven items. Yeah. Yeah? Seven items. 20 minutes.

Standard rules apply. Good. We know what those are. Yes. Established. There is a quid. Good. One of these items is a quid.

Good. That's what that means. Yes. Established that. Sealing level for all these is £9.80. Also almost similar to the last round. So plenty of potential for high per twingage. Cool.

Thank you, Lee. Right. I'm sorry. I've got limited space in the House of Pickles, Lee. and that, you know, I don't have much use for a large canvas print of a photograph of me dressed as Marrier. Sorry.

Item number one is this. It is a book. I think we've actually covered us on the show before. TV Cream Toys. TV cream is a website that dedicated itself to, you know, TV from the past UK shows, you know, 60s, 80s, early 90s,

nostalgia website. Well written, great writers who wrote for it, and this is a book of all the toys that they wanted to talk. about in a way. So look, there's game and watch and they review it and talk about it. And then Cludeau.

I love that. Electric Cludo. Oh, I never seen that before. I've never seen it. Although it's called Electronic Detective. It's not Cludeau, but I have seen us on eBay. It's quite costly.

It's sort of described as an electronic clueless type. Dungeons and Dragons and that little cabri's chocolate mini bank thing. I used to love one. Buckaroo. He used to want one of those as a kid. Yeah. All of the stuff, isn't it?

All the stuff. Who's going to guess first then? Oh, it's a Tardis? You used to get a TARDIS It's just Doctor Who in general, right? No, this is a TARDIS. A toy? Yeah.

When I was a kid, a tent, you know, one of those plastic tents that was in shape of the TARDIS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet that goes for a pretty penny. Nah, it's trashed. Little professor. Oh, yeah, the calculator. Texas Instruments.

They were cool Texas instruments. I wonder if they're still going. I don't know. It's been a long time to have ever had to use a calculator, so fuck knows. Scalette tricks, you know, it's all there, but how much Eli? Am I guessing first here?

I may as well, yeah, go on. Squirmals, pipe cleaners. So it's 950 altogether. Oh, that's what those things were called. Squirmals. Oh, yeah, the little wiggly worms. Their pipe cleaners with personality, Paul. That's what I've heard, yeah.

You know what? What? You've put one in your metas. Is that it? I'm going to go backdoor, actually. Oh, back door. How about up the bumole? Squirmals up the back door.

That's not the way anatomy works for. Well, I think you'll find it is. There's a tube right from your ass out of the top of your penis. Well, no, there's one that comes from your mouth, right down the bottom of your penis. to a little kind of fork in the road. One goes up your ass, one goes out of your penis. And it's up to the brain.

No, you are right. It's up to the brain to decide which way it comes out. You're right. Yeah, I thought so. Absolutely right. Now, I'll say, go on. Oh, man, he's ripped it off,

but I don't think that's going to give it away. It's probably one of many price tag that's been stuck on that. So, I'm going to say £9. I'm going to say £2. I'm going to say £1.000. I'm going to say £1.5. He's going to have to pull to win overall. twinage, he's going to have to score at least five betwings here.

Without me scoring another one in return. That's the only way he can win on overall betwiens. Oh, it's a little toy car, US mail. Matchbox. Little Jeep, I like this. Yeah, it's a little matchbox car, I think. Yes, I can take pictures. Can it live with me in my house?

It can live in Eli's dirty dungeon, yes. It's a blue, navy blue, I'd call that. US mail Jeep type thing. Matchbox one with a white chassis underneath. Yeah. They probably had like a plastic kind of thing at the back, which is falling off, you know, that has kind of a chassis kind of roof thing. It looks like there might have been a...

It looks like there are holes for a little roof type thing. A roof canopy thing. Yeah, what's the word I'm looking for? Like shell? Like a convertible? Yeah, something like that. The chassis's underneath. No, but what's the thing that's like the top of the car? The roll cage type area. Yeah. No, the bonnet's at the front. The ceiling of the car, the roof. I don't drive. I don't drive, but we can know words, can't we? There's no, it's a roof. That's what it is. Anyway, it looks like... You don't have a roof, but they have like that kind of... This is wasting time. How much is the car? How much is the car? I'm going to say 50p.

It's you first. I'm saying 50p. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to go Quid's Gambit. Quid Gambit. You can change these afterwards, yeah? Have we got enough time? Yeah.

Well, we've only got 17 minutes left. Next. Oh, it's an annual. Paul likes these. Looking annual TV, 1986. So, looking was a magazine. It was like a TV Times for Kids, but also had comic strips in and articles and quizzes.

This is an annual. They would come out once a year, and it would be like, Oh, here's the best of looking that year. So on the front we've got Mr. T and Wham and I don't know who that is, but it's someone from Gernardin. She looks happy. And then there's Super Gran.

And Roland Rat and Met Dempsey and Make Piece. Oh. And on the inside cover, you've got Knight Rider being filmed with Hasselhoff. Let's have a quick look through. Rolling Rat. Yeah, can't go wrong. Grange. I know, this is the making of SuperGran or something.

SuperGran was around for a while, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. I am Super Grand But that was an actual live action thing Whereas Super Ted Was a cartoon And so was Banana Man Yes

Well observed I never watched You used to watch Super Grand Didn't have an excellent theme song Yes It was by Billy Conley That was excellent Stand back Superman

Iceman Spider Man Batman Batman a Robin too You don't want to cause a fracas For B.A. Barrackas Because that's what you gotta do Something like that That was excellent

Wasn't it And I had one of the best lines Ever written by anyone She makes them look like a bunch of theories. She's got more bottle than United Dairies, which is a pretty fucking good liar. Anyway, quizzes, Mr. T,

motorbikes, Andy Ruffle, who's a good BMX guy. I don't remember him. Yeah, because BMX was coming through. There's a Dick Turpin comic strip. The kids love Dick Turpin. Why? Because he just went up a hill and said, oh, I'll look at that. Oh, no, Dick Turpin was the Highwoman. Yeah, stand

and deliver. Who's the guy? Dick Whittington, I get confused with those. They're both dicks. They're both dicks. It's a very different way. But how more dick in each hand? Is the looking annual? Tugging down two dicks at once. Right, looking.

Oh, I'm going to say... I go first. I go first this time. No. Oh, do you? Yes. Looking annual. It's a nice condition.

He's a 50p member for the car's first. Right, okay. Fuck's sake, man. All right, go on. How much do you think the looking annual is in? Nick? £1.75. One pound 75.

I might have to revise some of these. I might go with two quid. All right. Right, next. He wants to get some betwiings, the boy. He's lost his trousers, hopefully all gain some betwiings. Oh, it's questions.

80s, 90s, and 2010s through the decades trivia. Travel through the decade with this nostalgia-inducing quiz. And it's what you think it is. It's just a bunch of fucking questions. God, these turn up in cherry shops a lot. A lot. A lot. I kind of resent these kind of things.

These are at least five years out of date as well. Yeah. It's never been opened. If Lee wasn't... It's all 80s, oh, their questions are from those decades. That's how they get read. These kind of things in existence in general. They're just like...

A lot of trivia things, aren't there? No, I start about trivia so much as like, It's just a waste of resources. Well, where do you start with that, you know? Toilet. All the stuff in your phone is comes from like, you know. No, yeah, but I also... A really bad place.

A for a packaged box of card. That does shitty questions. Wow, there's a lot of packaging there as well, just for some cards. This is from the 80s. They're slim. These are 80s questions. Yeah, quick. Where are the answers?

Where are the answers? Must be another set of cards. Oh, I can't. They're on here. This is the 80s. Eli, quick. Who was the lead singer of the police? Sting.

Who was director of Beetlejuice? At Tim Burton. Which British band sang Too Shy in 1983? Quick. Tick-Tock, Tick-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-C-Goo-C-C-Goo-C-C-G-G. In what year did the first episode of The Simpsons Air? 89. 89.

Is it correct. Which electronic data storage device developed by Sony and Phillips was released in 1982, commercially? Data storage device. Yeah. The PDF? No. CDs. Oh, fuck-off.

And finally, an easy one for you. That's not a device. That's a cut. I'm just reading what it's there. Right. I finally read that one that you just put to the back. Well, no,

because that one was just going to be dead easy. I can do it for if you want. No. What is the object of this, what does this object's abbreviation, VHS, stand for? I don't know that.

Oh, I thought yeah, that was an easy one. Video. Yeah. High death. No. Video home system. Home. There you go.

How much is the decades, I might save these for another thing to be fairly on down the line for a laugh. Through the decades, game. How much are you like? How much town we got? Two fifty. We've got twelve minutes. I know. What else we got though? It's just this. All right, come on.

Quick, guess it. Two fifty. Just it. Two fifty says Eli. I hope I don't lose all my betwiings back to him over this. Two, three, four. I hope you're with me guys. I'm going to say three quid for this. Three quid. All right, let's have another item. It's a little soft toy. It's a frog. Fredo, it's a little Fredo. Can this, can he live with me?

Yeah, Fredo. Oh, I'm gone. It's a little Fredo, promotional Fredo. Fredo. It's a Cadbury's based chocolate bar. Yeah, and it's a mascot is a little frog called Fredo. And he has purple trousers. Back in the day. Why does purple always go with green in everywhere?

I think it's a contrasting colour that brings out. It must be just that simple, right? And also the Hulk's trousers used. That's a good point, but he doesn't hook out, although he is green. He's a Fredo. He's like a Latinae. Also, think about it this way. Cabri's brand is kind of that purple, isn't it, as a colour?

He can live with my big bird. on the couch with all of Rogan's cuddly toys. Yeah, he can. You can have Fredo and take him home, and just every time you think of him, you can go, oh, I remember when they cost 5p, but now Fredo's a 50p. It's that kind of thing, yeah. Are they 50? It's still pretty cheap. I mean, because it's just like a tiny slab of chocolate that looks like a fucking frog. Oh, it looks like...

Fredo is a frog. Fredo the frog. He's Fredo. Fredo the cabrie hoaring frog. It's Fredo, because his real name is Frederick Orbach. Yeah. Frederick Orbach. What does that mean? Orbach.

It doesn't mean it's just a surname. Is it funny? Did I find that funny? No, well then let's move on. How much is Fredo? No, it's you to get us the price first. Fuck sake. Never remembers.

What's he looking around for now? I don't know. I think we've got a problem. Why? Hang on. You've got no item left. No, there's no item. There should be another one.

One, two, three, four. This is the five. Yeah, there's five items. Six. They said six. They said seven. Yeah, we're still down two items then, aren't we? You must have lost it.

Well, I haven't opened the box since I got it. He must have lost it over the years. Something must have got in there. Oh, there they are. Two badges. Wait, but that's one of my badges. Why are your badges in there? Why are your badges in there?

You've been truffling around in your sleep or something. Don't you look at my bum because I've got me on the door? I'm not. I'm not looking at him. There's nothing else in the box. We're going to have to just go on the items we've done, mate. I mean, we're under 10 minutes. We're hitting the 10 minute mark now.

I'm looking under the flaps, mate. There's nothing in there. Can't help you. It must have either been lost. It did say seven items, didn't it, on the letter? I mean, you read it. You said seven, didn't it? Go get the letter.

You've got it. That's a different letter, isn't it? That'll check the letter. Thank you. Why did you say seven? I didn't. You've said seven. It says seven.

Right, so at best we've got, what? Six. Five. No, because those badges. Are the badges on the list? Well, one's mine. Also, one's not mine. That must be it.

Rocky's modern life. Oh, that's going to stay here, isn't it? Yeah, because I've got a space now. I'm a board because I've got space there. Because I moved stuff around and took things off. It's looking very dense. Pushed it. I densed it up because there's lots of gaps between the pins.

Pinboard news from the House of Pickles. Yeah. I managed to rehang my board. Did I give you a drop-down pinball thing? I've got that as well. Using both that and a pinboard. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I've got a load of lovely pins on there.

Have you see my new Basil, the Great Mouse Detective one? Yes, I have. That one, yeah. And then I put the theme park ones on from when we went to Thought Park a few weeks ago. That's all there. So, can we move on? How much is the frog? How much did you say you want the frog to be?

Oh. I'm going to say quid's gambit on this, just because I haven't. But there might have been one of these items that we don't have. I know, I know. We're in shit creek here. Can I say quid? Can I guess quid? No, you've always done quid.

Yeah, but I can guess quid, but it's not, if it's not the quids. No, you can't do that. That's the whole point of the quid's gambit, isn't it? I didn't think, I don't think that is the point. No, that is the point of the quid's gambit. That is literally the point, so you can't call everything a quid? A point you've made yourself.

Can I say this one's also quid? Seven minutes left. But I only get the two points because I said the other one is the quid's gambit. You won't. I apportioned the quid. We're not doing that. The token of quidbitts.

No, no, no. But that's the whole point. Otherwise, you may just call everything a quid. You are inconsistent, my friend. You are inconsistent. It's only way you want to win. You are inconsistent. One pound 50.

One fitty. Fuck. And then the badgers, my Paul Gannon and Spirit Squad pin badge. That's good because you had one nixed in LA, remember? I did. Maybe he nicked it. Have you thought about that? Is it Ian who nicked it? Lee, his name is...

He might have nicked it. I don't fucking know, even. Lee is the man who wrote the letter, though. Rocko's Modern Life pin, which I like. That's nice. I like that. I like that. Rockos...

Was it that Nickelodeon? Yeah. And was it fun? Yeah. I never used to watch it. I was too old at the time. I caught bit of it when I used to work for Nickelodeon back of the day, so... It's a nice looking badge, though.

But how much that would be a quid's gambit, couldn't it, those two? when you think about it, two pins. Are they together? Are they even on that list over there? I'm just going to say... I'll be reading them out, everyone. I'm going to say 150 for the pins. I'm going to split the difference and say they're like 75 pH or something like that. No, 175.

I'm going 170. I'm not going to win this. 175. Eli, what do you want for the pins? Quick, we've got six minutes left. Three. I've got admin to do. Three.

Three. Right. Okay. Now, we're item down unless that's item five and that's item six. Six and seven. In which case, that'll count as one 50 each for them. Yeah, I guess. We can split the difference, I agree.

What did you say for both? 175. Can't quite split the difference on that, though. Well, we'll go, yes, but we'll get to the nearest penny on that. I'm a bit concerned that counts as two items. If it comes down to it, that doesn't matter. We just split it. It doesn't matter, no.

I won't, I'll forgive you half a penny if you're out by that much, okay? Yeah, but what it? Oh, my God. We'll get to that bridge when we cross it, okay? I'm going to say 180, so I can split it, you know, I invite. Fine, I'll allow that. 80. Right.

Okay, have you got the prices? Yes, the answers. Here we go. I have the answers. Five minutes, quick. You read it in the order that it's on the page, and I'll just cross it off. Fredo Toy. Fredo Toy.

You said? Quidd Gambit, you said, 150. It was two pounds, Paul. We're going to get zero, so I'm going to go. Doesn't matter. You're still there. I'm loving how much I'm going to do this. I can tell you now, the pins are two separate prices.

What are we going to do? We would just split it. We said we would. All right. Okay, so go on. Fight them. TV cream toys book. Yes.

book. You said two quid. I said 150. It is 150 on the nose. Well done. Oh, two per twings. That's good in it. And then nothing for Eli there. All right. Well done. Next is what? Through the decades game. Okay, yeah. So I said three. You said 250. It was two.

So nothing either. There. U.S. mail truck. Yes. Now that's the one you played the quid's Gambit on and I said was 50p. It's a quid, mate. There we go. Loving it. Moving. That's four for the... It's four for me. What did you say? 50p so nothing for me

I was going to do quids gamut on that but I was honestly I'm loving it go on so next one was what you look in annual right you said 1 75 I said 2 quid fucking hell he's come right back at me is it another 2 and I get between there for 1 7 5

yeah you do so all together so far you've got 8 9 and then I've got well I've only got 4 that's still better than nothing right and then the final all these are the badges aren't they now we've got the badges yeah so the Rocco pin yeah 50p Right. So what did you say?

Well, I said one's 80. 1.80, so half of 180 is 90. It's 90. So that doesn't count then as a twing. And neither is, what depends on what they? Do you get petwing for the ghost pin, though. How much was that? 80p.

80p. So you're within 25p there. So I get one between there. And you said three quits. So the 150 I'm out on both of those. So I, so Eli gets nine overall. Huge for twings. And I get five, which, you know, is still good in one game to get five.

Per twinge. So I'm not upset about that at all. So over two games. How many did I get 13 per twings? So between the, two rounds you got four and a half each right to make nine altogether four and a half betwiings split across two games on average here we go look he's doing and i got five in this one round so that means i win this one and you win the last one i got over two victory for four gallon 13 betwiings everyone

come on you didn't get 30 you get nine i've counted it up but in the other game plus the other game the other game four unanswered betwings i got in the other game or add the four for the quid's gambit which is eight no in the other price of shite game we played Four in that one. Yes. Plus the nine here. No, you got five in this round. You got four for the quid's gambit and then you got one for the looking.

Okay, five. And then five add to four is nine and I got five in this one round altogether. Oh yeah. All right. So I win this round. No, you didn't win this round. Yeah, because you got four and a half across two games on average. You didn't win either game.

You didn't win either game. It's just real good to win one. We drew this. I won this one. We drew this. Good items all the same. How many? I don't even understand.

You've completely. muddied the water like... You think he said this pin back to me as a laugh? Like a Trump. No, he bought it. But then he's giving it back to me. It's weird. I don't know what to do with this.

I want to know how many betwiings are actually scored in that game. In that one game you got five. But across the two games, it's four point five each. Shut up. Shut up. So that's on average. So I'm saying on my average is stronger. So your average is not stronger.

I got more? No, you didn't. So let's just awkwardly move on. I'm going to add this pin, this prize winning pin. This Paul's won. What? I'm checking this again. Why?

Because you're cheated. I can't, I don't want. You still win. I won't have it. I do win. There you go. So while Eli tries desperately to improve his win for no other reason to make himself feel good, because his life on a micro level is unrewarding and morally hollow.

On a micro level. On a micro level. The, the mechanics of what's going on. Listen, mate, when I get it in my hand, it's a macro level. And I've been checking you out. But turn this off an hour. Yeah. I'm fucking.

No. Oh, God! Sit down. Thank God the windows open. How many minutes we got, mate? Is that it? Is that? One minute 33.

Oh, I love you guys. So, where can people go if they want more of this sort of thing? The Cheap Show.com. UK is your one-stop shop for all things Cheap Show. Go there and everything else we do on the internet, whether that's YouTube or podcasts or live streams or whatever, or ticket information. It's all on our website.

Also, you can join us on patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show. to if you would like to support this podcast, do so, and then get loads of extra podcasts and videos and behind the scenes stuff when we get it and early access to tickets and all those kinds of lovely things that is patreon.com forward slash cheap show. And look, this is episode 498. Next week is 499,

and then we're going to take a kind of weird hiatus until 500 because of the timing of where 500 is. So bear with us. We're not going anywhere, and it gives us time to plan 500 because it's going to be a completely epic show. And again, You can get your tickets on our website, or you can go to the Cambridgejunction.com.com.

You look for Cheap Show there and get your tickets. 15 pound, 23rd of August Sunday. Come and join us. It's going to be a special show. Me and Eli with Ash. Oh, Stuart Ash and not Ash, Frith. That fucking pricks not coming now. Louis King, Nick Helm, Paul Putner, and an array of surprises and things to enjoy.

So come and celebrate Cheap Show's decades-long existence in 500 episode. It's going to be a once in a like. Time, opportunity for true show fun and see me in my life. Thank you guys, bye.

And playing us out, shut up. That's it, that's over now. It's stupid. I know, but don't you go then? I'm playing us out in memory of the goodies. We're going to say goodbye

with this track from Bill Oddy. All right, P. And he said, Sunday evenings so sings as a song sing as a song, sing as a song,

I said Sunday evening so sing as a song sing as a song. Sing as a song. Oh, I sing you were a song about below the boat above, a load above.

I thought I'd sing you were sung about the things you love I said you were saying you were sung So the man sang loud the people heard They came from miles around There were people on table, people on chairs People line on the ground The people bought whiskey, the people bought chip But they didn't drink a thing

When they heard the man shout, grab your hand Everybody wanted to sing and they sang Sunday he hits, Sing us a song, sing us and song Sing us a song Say it's a song Baby a little bit Sing us a song

Sing us a song And everyone here now Sing us that song Sing us a song