CheapShow - Ep 59: HoP 7 Reddit or Not

Episode Date: November 23, 2017

Crisps! The final frontier. These are the continuing discussions of the USS CheapShow. It's ongoing mission to explore new snack ranking memes, to seek out potato based products and to boldly drone on where no pod has droned on before... As well as all that, CheapShow dabbles in some terrible role play as Paul tries to seduce Eli in order for the House of Pickles to get a proper wash down. They also tackle their brand new(ish) Reddit page and wade through the comments, critiques and many many Noodle questions that pollute those pages. Warning: Contains Noodles! And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US!

What? Hello there, lovely listeners. Welcome again into my room of aroma. Yes, it's the Copa de House de Pickles. And I'm Eli Silverman. It's a little mini-sode of the Cheap Show. I won't be smacking my lips. And here is Paul Gannon, everybody.

Here he is. Here he is, everybody. Here's Paul Gannon. Here he is, everyone. Hello, boys's Paul Gannon, here he is everyone Hello boys and girls, aren't you lucky it's another episode of Cheap Show why not sit down right now and listen to us don't do anything else, it's time for the show

I hate you and your fucking noodle posse People love noodles, alright? It's a fact of cheap show, you're gonna have to fucking reset. Noodle time. Tales from the dance floor. How's the big guy? The price of the site? It's a tour gun and take a look. Eli Silver.

Welcome to the show. I'm not going and I nuzzle Lip smacker I'm not smacking my lips I'm going to get a bloody Like a syndrome now about this aren't I Just don't think about it I just don't know what it is

But for some reason recently You started smacking your lips before you talk And once or twice is not too much of a problem but when you're editing the fucking podcast and every five seconds you go uh oh so give me an example give me an example so i just have like that yeah like that you know it's just it's just that it's that kind of verbal tick that people have that's similar to ums and ahs. It's just that for some reason you started doing this whole lip smacky thing, which is just awful, mate.

Okay, okay. Instead, what I want you to do when you need to think of a word is don't go and don't go uh and don't go um. I want you to go. Yeah. to go yeah like like you know what all of a sudden

I take that back it's a bad idea anyway hello welcome to Cheap Shit the economy comedy podcast for your ears this is one of our house of pickle episodes

where we just shit shit no I mean shoot the shit what I just take a shit do I now is that what this has come to Paul I just take a shit do I now Is that what this has come to Paul I just take a shit and rub it all around

No why do you have to go rub it all around You know what I could eat it I don't want you to eat poo What are you trying to tell me to do I don't want you to do anything I merely was meant to say shoot the shit And unfortunately I got my words all wrong

So I shit and then I shoot it with what? A Nerf gun? It's a turn of phrase I could get some chunks coming off it With a Nerf gun couldn't I? It's a turn of phrase I don't know what else you want from me It's a turn of phrase like

I'm cock a hoop Or chew the cud Or Smack my bitch up. Smack my bitch up, take my picture. Yeah, all of those things. It's one of those. Josh my knob off.

Is that really what you say? Is that what you say? Is that what you say? Is that what you say? Oh, I'm just going to... Have a wank. Yeah, that's what I say. Yeah, you don't say Josh your knob off?

No. I go, I would like a flat white Have a wank. Yeah, that's what I say. Yeah, you don't say josh your knob off? No. I go, I would like a flat white and please stamp my book and I'm going to josh my knob off. In Costa Coffee.

What are we discussing in the House of Pickles? Could I just say I've got a new tagline for the House of Pickles? Go on, hit it. Cultivate the smell. Oh, fuck off

with your variations on something to do with your ghastly aroma i've got so i've got a question for you paul yes yeah yeah does is your bedroom so fucking cool and unique that it has its own title no okay so when you when you have a title for your living space because it's that fucking cool, then come back to me. Then you can fucking come back to me, and you can insult me, and you can tell me to josh my knob off, or take a shit in my mouth in my room,

whatever you're trying to tell me to do. Can I ask you a question, Mr Silverman? Yes, go ahead, please. Please do. Go ahead. Do you have a room that's so rancid and fetid and unpleasant to be in that it's been given a moniker to kind of quantify just how horrible a place it is to be? Yes, but it's also cool. It's not cool.

I know this is pulling back the curtain somewhat, but please, please give your room a wipe. Just give it a wipe, because, you know what, the House of Pickles, it's all very charming. But let's just say one night you're DJing, and it all goes very well, and she asks for a request, and it's a request you like. And then you get to sit down with her, and afterwards you have a few drinks, and she's like, oh, you're definitely charming, and not at all rancid to look at and talk to i will definitely want to come back to your place you can't can you because your place looks like an illustrated suicide note i'll show you how to do that i'll deal with that

paul all right so you okay all right i'll be the lady you play the girl okay And you just So we We're having a few drinks I've had a lovely night With you Mr Silverman You're so That's very good And charming And Thank you

Not hung Like a mayfly You are Absolutely Adorable Mr Silverman Oh good So what's happening now love

Eh Well What's going on What's going on now I'm feeling I'm feeling a little bit... I'm all a quiver, Mr Silverman. I'm slightly damp in the gusset area.

Oh, yeah. I'm wondering if there's anywhere we could go back to for a bit of... How's your father? No, love. I've got... I've got people staying at mine So it'll have to be the street Or yours

The street? The street? I can't believe your second option Was the street It was like you didn't go Let's go back to your place Or there's a room upstairs in this venue We could highlight to

Your instant reaction was let's fuck in the street like dogs. Yeah, why not, man? You know. Oh, Mr. Silverman I'd like to come back to you. But I'm only in London

for the weekend so maybe I can stay at yours tonight just for the night, Mr. Silverman. Yeah, alright. As long as you don't mind the smell, Mr. Silverman? Yeah, all right. As long as you don't mind the smell of shit.

Because it is a bit smelly. I'll put you on the sofa, love. You don't have to see my room. That's a good point. You could just take her to the sofa, couldn't you? Yeah, treacle. She doesn't need to know. What do you mean, she?

Apple of my eye. Who's she? Oh, you mean she doesn't need to know about your room? Okay, got it. So, all right. You are she. All right, okay. Who's she? Oh, you mean she doesn't need to know about your room? Okay, got it. So, all right, now... You are she. All right, okay, so now we get back to your place. And, ooh, ooh, Eli.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. What should we do now? Can I have just a little peek in your room? Well, that's not my room. This isn't my house. Where are we? Yeah. Well, my uncle, he's a smelly tramp. That's his room. I'm looking after my house. Where are we? Yeah. Well,

my uncle, he's a smelly trap. That's his room. I'm looking after his house. Well, let me have a look in. Oh, yes.

Whoever lives in here must have really low self-esteem and cleanliness issues and hatred and misery deep dark down in his soul. I couldn't possibly

have sex with that. Yeah, right. No, well, luckily that's my uncle, not me. Now, let's... Is your uncle called Eli? Because he has

a lot of your stuff in this room, apparently. Stop looking through the stuff, darling. You're putting me off. I'm losing my erection. Oh, so... Let's sit down on the couch. Why don't you put your hand on my leg? Alright, so... Let's sit down on the couch. Why don't you put your hand on my leg? All right, so let's draw a curtain over this scene now. Mr Silverman!

Mr Silverman, what are you doing to me? I've never been touched like this before. Yeah. Oh, God. oh god Paul getting into character mate oh Mr Silverman

Paul you've lost your voice you've lost the voice yeah oh god oh I'm sleepy now. Right, that was great. Yeah. See, I think...

So there would be ways. There would be ways. I think what we've demonstrated there is there are ways. There are ways around it, yeah. So, all right, going on. Someone sent me on Facebook another one of the crisp rankings things. You know, we covered this a while ago. So, all right, going on. Someone sent me on Facebook another one of the crisp rankings things. You know, we covered this a while ago.

Well, Dave, the British TV network, that is basically the BBC, that does a lot of comedy programs and repeats of Top Gear, did a bit of, well, they did one of their, you know, meme-y kind of fucking click-baity Facebook posts, and it was crisp ranking. And I think it's only fair we go through this because I think it's utter fucking bullshit and I want to have a word with Dave and we need to fix this

okay so straight to landfill what does that mean these are the worst these are the worst of the worst yeah they say Sharwood's poppadoms at the bottom I mean that's if you can include those as crisps they're not even crisps man they's Poppadoms at the bottom. I mean, if you can include those as crisps, they're not even crisps, man. They're Poppadoms.

Yeah. Apparently, for a joke, they said Susan from HR ranked these crisps. So I don't think that's true. McCoy's cheddar and onion flavour crisps and the Beef Hula Hoops. They're on the bottom tier. Beef Hula Hoops are nowhere near the worst kind of crisp ever. They are right up there. They're not maybe the best beef flavour snack,

but they're certainly not the worst snack at all. They're not the worst. So low level is the next now. And they have ranked Twiglets. Again, not a crisp. You need to be consistent with your ranking. Do you know what I mean? It's a snack.

Are they talking about crisps? Or are they talking about every kind of bar with your ranking. Do you know what I mean? It's a snack. Are they talking about crisps? Or are they talking about every kind of bar snack known to man? You know what I mean? In which case, Twiglets aren't near the bottom of that either. No. It's fucking bullshit. It's quite the high-level snack in many respects. If you go to a club and you see Twiglets in bowls,

you know you're in a classy place. Is that what you think? Well, it's got a class indicator for you. Yeah. Everywhere I go, if I see Twiglets in bowls, you know you're in a classy place. Is that what you think? Well, it's got a class indicator for you. Yeah. Everywhere I go, if I see Twiglets in bowls, I know I've gone to somewhere that respects and values its customers. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You like a little finger bowl of Twiglets, do you? I like a knobbly Marmite finger. It reassures you about the credentials of the place, doesn't it? It does. Now, next on this low level is Fiery Hot Doritos. Again, not a crisp. Well, I mean, come on, they're crisps. I mean, they are crisps.

They're corn chips. They're crisps. See, crisps to me say potato. Specifically potato. That's why I... Yes. That's why Doritos, you know, they were chips. I would argue they were chips, but they're not crisps.

But Paul, if we're going to be extremely stringent on our definition of what is a crisp, only potatoes, then where does our beloved Monster Munch fall? Do you know what I mean? On that point, you've got me over a barrel, mate, and I don't have a response to that. I'm sorry. I've got you over a barrel.

I'm spanking you. Oh, Mr. Silvermananking you Oh Oh Mr Silverman Oh Oh Oh Mr Silverman Oh not you again Listen love I gave you bus fare home

Oh Fuck's sake Oh I came back Oh I want your barrel You came back for the house of pickles Didn't you Yeah

Once you pop You can't stop Oh Yeah Anyway Next on the low level And you're not gonna Once you smell the pickle

You want more of a tickle Yeah Come on, shit rides itself Yeah it does Right, next on the low level And this made me actually angry Quavers What?

You've got no clue These people haven't even thought about it They just made it up. They're just hurrah. They're like the type of people who could afford to get an internship, you know, because daddy paid. And they have never eaten crisps in their life. They just eat

fucking a pheasant in a duck or whatever. Do you know what I mean? That's what they have. They're the kind of pricks who go while everyone's getting bar snacks and they get chopped carrots and hummus. Yeah. You know? Because they're watching, they're on a diet.

They're watching their figure or they're on a low-cal diet, vegan, sugar-free, fucking pointless existence trip. They don't know. They don't know crisps. They don't know crisps. They have no clue. They haven't been working their way through crisps like I have my whole life. They haven't made up a mythology as a child about what happens to the sentient hula hoops

when you eat them and they return to the bottom of the packet like some kind of weird Logan's Run type thing. They haven't melted a whole packet of Quavers, every single one one on their tongue to get the total tinglys on. And like your tongue goes all bubbly by the end. Mate, I can only say your qualifications in crisps is unchallenged. You know, I'm not here to debate that. I was there. I was there. I remember the days of Golden Wonder.

Do you remember the days of Golden Wonder, Paul? I do remember the days of Golden Wonder. I do. They were a major brand. They were a lovely brand. They gave us the spot noodle initially. And their cheese and onion ones used to be so shoddy that you'd get green ones. And I used to think the green

ones were oniony. But it turns out they were just poisonlessly unripe potatoes. Oh, is that what that is? Because they were my favourite ones as well. Remember, Crisp used to have the odd green one. You never see that these days, do you? No.

No. No. No. Well, anyway, going... Carrying on. So, mid-tier. French fries. See, I would rank them lower, but only because, for me, they're a lower...

They're not a common snack. You know, once you get to mid-tier, you should be dealing with the creme de la creme of snacks at this point. Yeah. Chipsticks are on the mid-tier as well. Salt and vinegar. You see, I'd put Quaver's way above chipsticks. Definitely.

Definitely, definitely. You know? Knick-knacks. And I'd also put knick-knacks. Where are knick-knacks? On mid-level. They're nice and spicy flavour. That's a top crisp, man.

Is that a top crisp? I would keep that where it is, frankly. I'm not a big knick-knack man. No, I love a knick-knack. I love a knobbly knick-knack. I fucking love one. And I like the old-school Cheetos, which used to be cheesy knick-knacks, essentially, didn't they?

They were cheesy knick-knacks, but now, now, an empty didn't they they were cheesy knickknacks but now now an empty shell of what they were then now they're just all different fucking shapes of what's it aren't they

yeah okay so top level what's it's oh bollocks frazzles and cheese and onion flavoured squares

these people are dicks. See, I like all of them. They're a nice, solid snack. But Wotsits, the drawback there is it makes you feel like your fingers have been up your arsehole the whole time after eating them. Because very pungent smell. Frazzles ain't what they used to be. And to be honest, squares are a really satisfying, crunchy, flavoursome snack. I might leave them there. What about discos?

I like discos. Discos are not ranked on this at all. Discos are... Exactly. So they just leave out a very important group of crisps, totally. Square ones I like. What about Walker's Salt and Shake? Smith's Salt and Shake? They're good. I like those. Well, they're not

ranked because they involve hard work. And the cunt who made this apparently doesn't shirks fucking hard work for the sake of just going what did mummy make me

in my packy lunch lunch I don't know why he sounds like you by the way okay so the god level is the top level of these crisps and

monster munch beef right fair enough well yeah we can't argue with that that's probably the only right placement maybe you know And Monster Munch, beef, right? Fair enough. Well, yeah. We can't argue with that. That's probably the only right placement, maybe.

You know? Pringles? Sour cream Pringles. Sour cream and chive. Yeah, that's not... They're not true. Pringles are nasty, man. Pringles are fine.

But out of all the flavours of Pringles, I would not put sour cream and chive on them. It's the most anemic flavour of Pringles, you would not put sour cream and chive on them. It's the most anemic flavour of Pringles you can imagine. And then get this. Sea salt kettle chips. God level. I ask you.

I ask you. My arse. My arse. My beharied arse. Your dirty, hairy botty bot no no my clean but behairied bum

they're see it's their snobbishness coming in there you know they're trying to pretend that

they've actually had experience of all these crisps these wankers but no in fact they're just like

oh kettle chips they're good I get those from my overpriced fucking delicatessen round the corner for two pounds a pack. And then I pay through the nose for some kind of fucking kale bum infusion. We're on the same page. Another crisp ranking that we on Cheap Show will have to correct at some point.

At some point, me and you will have to sit down, knock our heads together and come up with the... The definitive Cheap Show crisp ranking, yeah? It'll have to be done. I don't like their levels. I think we should have some kind of league system maybe. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely a league system. What's God level? That's bullshit.

God level just means, oh, it's so holy and delectable. It's a holy level. Listen, I believe in the separation of church and crisps. You know what I mean? I don't want any kind of deistic ideas infiltrating my enjoyment of fucking potato snacks. Do you know what I mean? There needs to be a separation of crisp and snack and bar food and nut. And then what we can do is rank them by league.

And then via the league, we can rank them in terms of overall quality. You know what I mean? So don't worry, Cheap Show listener, Eli and I have got your back, and at some point in the future, we will be doing the definitive crisp ranking. The Cheap Show crisp ranking project.

I think we have to have a rule that whatever crisp we rank have to be current crisp, so we can't say, oh, do you remember Bits of Pizza from the 80s? We can't have anything that doesn't get made anymore. That doesn't exist anymore, does it? It doesn't. I used to fucking love those as well. They're quite nice, quite tangy, as I remember.

Very tangy. Had a sort of oregano tang, didn't they? Yes, obviously, because they were pizzerie. And I believe the little logo character was a little dragon. Ah, yeah, I seem to remember those. I might be wrong. Paul, this is actually a great idea for a segment of the show where we get a different crisp every week

or every three episodes or so, and then we put it into the league system. We enter it. We enter it into our ranking system. Just a little five-minute bit, you know? I think in the lead-up to the overall countdown, I think we should do it we should you know bring them in i'm just going to drop in an advert for walkers do a by

walkers bits of pizza and they had oh what flavors did they have oh mate i'm getting a real chub on now for these crisps i think that they've they they were discontinued yeah i never see those anymore they were discontinued but but I'm looking now. But I can't quite make out the flavour because the low-res pictures don't do the detail justice. So I think one is tomato and cheese and the other one is a green packet. Pepperoni?

Maybe, maybe. Either way, we will... Look, to backtrack a little bit we will go into this at a later date alright I'm in pieces for bits of pizza. You'll love the real taste of pizza in Walker's Bits of Pizza. If criminal is eating up the ground of my face, he's in pieces for bits of pizza. If I don't get walkers, I'm a hard-boiled head case.

Walker's Bits of Pizza. You'll love them to bits. I thought what we'd do for the rest of this episode is talk about our Reddit page. Because we've had adit page built for a while if you want to go to it it is reddit.com forward slash r forward slash cheap show or if you just go to reddit you can just look for cheap show one word and then join become become part of the reddit family where all reddit all the cheapskates as we like to call them are getting together talking about talking about the show now the reason why I bring it up for two reasons is, one, I think it's about time we highlight the Reddit page

and get listeners to listen. But also, there's a few things in there that I don't think you've read. I don't know if you have been to the page, have you? I don't understand Reddit. It's all these weird lines around everything. It's just a forum. I mean, Reddit was designed purposely to put off new people. So, you know what I mean?

It's designed to look kind of 90s and old saying that though the person who designed our cheap show reddit page and i'm sorry that i i don't know who that person is because they have given me the link but um if it is you make yourself aware on twitter and we'll give you all the credit in a future episode but whoever did it did a cracking job of putting it all together it looks pretty the cheap show logo they designed is frankly fucking awesome. Yeah, I love that logo. I did see that because you've used it on the Twitter, haven't you? Yeah, nice.

But I thought we'd just go through a few of the threads because there are a few things I think you will want to talk about. I'll address these. I'm ready to address these issues. So I'm just going to... I mean, we won't have time to do all of it because some people mostly have been in touch to talk about noodles there's one here

because there's a subreddit in Cheap Show about noodles and they're often waiting for you to ask for your advice on these things but... Okay, I'll give a few little pointers now if we've got time. This page is just called Noodle Tip

no sauce, no oil, no worry. Just add the fucker yourself. On the most basic of levels, a splash of sesame seed oil and a few glugs of soy sauce should add that extra edge alongside your dry noodle mix. But for true fucking amplitude, hashtag, you've got to step up your pimp game. Now, this is what they're saying, okay?

Keep your eyes peeled for fish and oyster sauce. Waitrose brand overpriced shit can get kicked in the cunt. Their words, not ours. Get down to the nearest Chinese supermarket and check their Thai or Filipino selection of sauces. They tend to be slightly cheaper than some of the Chinese, Korean, and Japanese brands. Rice wine your shit for extra ricey rice flavour. Tastes like shit drinking it as is, but a few glugs of the Shaoxing red rice

wine in your noodle will give it that extra rice undertone. Get a bottle of the cheaper stuff. Sesame seed oil. There are two main types. 70% sesame and 70% soy. Experiment with both on how strong, subtle you want your nutty oil flavours to be. And finally

want extra fleshiness? Add lemon or lime juice to the mix. Even better, squeeze the actual fruit straight into the saucepan. But watch out for those seeds. So what do you think of that? That was from a person called Trampcum Squeegee. Well, I'll tell you what, Trampcum Squeegee knows their stuff. There's some heavy pimping attitude coming through there.

You know, there's some... That Tramp Squeegee walks with a strut down the noodle aisle and knows what they're talking about. Also, another one is there's this Japanese stuff called mirin. Mirin's very good, yeah. Which is like a... Yeah. That will also just add a lot of just mouthfeel to your noodle

if you just stick a bit in. You know, they're right. You can just pimp a dry noodle just with some sesame oil and some soy sauce, but I don't want to. I want to explore flavours of the world. I want a pack. I'm not happy without an oil pack. You know what I mean?

So you want it all as is. You want it like a pot furnished flat Yeah I want it provided for me By those nice people who made the noodle I don't want to have to pimp it My pimp game is strong Also On sesame oil

I was in the shop the other day There's black sesame oil And then there's not black sesame oil And then there's black sesame oil and then there's not not black sesame oil it's just normal normal sesame oil and then you've got the black sesame oil which i believe is like almost burnt and has a much stronger more sort of acrid burnt you would only need a very small amount of that uh the problem with sesame oil is if you don't use it sparingly you know you just it's overpowering. It's a very strong flavour. Interesting. And by interesting, I mean

I wasn't really listening. Do you know what else I saw? What? Do you know what else I saw that might interest you, Paul? In the Chinese supermarket. Fruits of the Forest Oreos. Oh! Dirty little. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Silverman.

Oh, Mr. Silverman. Oh, Mr. Silverman. No, shut up. Listen, I made you cum 50 times. Now leave, please. I feel lighter for having cum buckets earlier. So, thank you. Yes. You need to keep hydrated, Don.

Thank you. God, I sound so bad. Anyway. you god i god i sound so bad anyway uh listen i just want to tell everyone it's not misogyny if it's against paul because he doesn't count as a real woman now interestingly someone on reddit sent a link to a website called oriental mart and put us in touch with the samyang hot chicken flavor ramen two times spicy now they don't know what's coming now we are going to address this aren't we i mean this is going to happen we've done the one time spicy as it were and no spoilers we have coming up our own spicy noodle adventure don't we

we indeed we do we uh i believe in episode 60 we are going to have a little taste test of a couple of noodles. The chili and lime manuchan one, which has been hanging around for a few months now. But we give that a taste. And also the one time spicy. Now, these noodles have been blowing up all over the place. I was in Chinatown the other day. And yeah, they're very popular. These Samyang chicken flavoured

spicy noodles. Extremely popular now. They've really caught the imagination of the noodle buying public I think. So is Samyang a good brand? Oh yeah. You ate the noodle mate. Come on that was top class. It was god level wasn't it? We're not going to talk about it because you know spoilers

but it was an interesting noodle. You'll find out when we visit Eli's Noodle Kitchen. So I've got two decks of the two-time spicy. Just waiting for us to go there, mate. Let's go there. Two-time spicy. Okay, so that's something to look forward to. Now, moving on.

Another thing on Reddit. This is for you, Eli, by the way. Okay, I'm here. The comment says, I love the show but i have one request this is from r201 uk or sorry r2001 uk please can eli not scream into the mic at random i listen to the show while working so it's coming through my earphones and the random loudness is a bit of a fucking pain at least normalize the volume or something i know i seem a bit of a fucking pain. At least normalise the volume or something. I know I seem a bit whiny, but it generally hurts,

and I'd rather not just stop listening, as I really enjoy what you guys do. What do you have to say to that, Mr Silverman? I will say a bunch of people underneath wrote in this order, Shut the bed, jacket, amplitude, and whoopsie gravy. All your catchphrases. I'm sorry about the shouting. Chat the bed, jacket, amplitude, and whoopsie gravy. Or we all catch phrases.

I'm sorry about the shouting, you know, I mean... To be honest, it's something I should catch in the edit. You know, it's difficult. The technical set-up here, I'm talking into a big silver bollock, you know, I can barely hear you. It's difficult, you know. I like being in the same room. I like to be able to see the white of your eyes I like being in close intimate interaction

with you as well Oh Mr Silverman No I told you darling I love your crispy duvet Shake out the crispy duvet It's snowing Let it rain all over my it's a white christmas mr

silverman flakes flakes of my dried semen raining down it's it's it's raining they melt on contact with saliva i can't believe I'm saying this. Anyway. We're going to try and make it so that your violent outbursts are not quite as jarring. All right? We're going to do that. Sorry. Yeah, I know.

I know that must be bad. And I'm sorry that sometimes I shout. Sometimes I let my emotions bubble over. You know? You're a very emotional person. Like a rising tide of darkness encroaching on my mind stem.

Also on Reddit, a few people have been pointed to your Office Party Rescue videos on YouTube, which were directed by your friend Ben, who went on to do Clankabang with you, I seem to believe. Is that correct? That's correct, Paul. They talk about the fax machine episode and someone says, that fax machine episode and someone

says that fax machine is a lucky get yeah i do i i yeah i i have sex with a fax machine someone said who's it matthew 1905 says the sight of eli fucking a fax machine is something you'd want to see on a christmas card you should start selling them with that on the front and have a frothy christmas written on the inside yeah well there is i don't want to get on a Christmas card. You should start selling them with that on the front and have a frothy Christmas written on the inside. Yeah. Well, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but there is talk of a

Office Party Rescue feature. Oh. What, the movie? Yeah. Office Party Rescue, the movie. Oh, they've made a gif of it. They've made the gif of you fucking a fax machine. Have you seen it when I fuck the fax machine? It's one of my finest moments, Paul.

I call it a cheap Japanese import. Mate, I'm watching it now. When you bite the paper, it... Seriously. Oh, Mr. Silverman. I wish I was that fax machine. Oh, you're giving it some. Oh mate, fucking get the beans in.

You're doing alright there, mate. Oh god. I'm so confused by this episode. Just admit it. I've got a visceral sexual zest and it's smeared all over the walls. Yeah.

What else, what else, what else walls. Yeah. What else? What else? What else? What else? What else? Oh, most important flavour on Twitter. Let's have a look at this one. Oh, cock flavour.

Oh, cock flavoured soup. Oh, blah, blah, blah. If someone produced a jar that said human jism pellets or something like that, then I'd laugh. Or if it said powdered shit or something like that, then I'd laugh. Or if it said, powdered shit, or something like that. Really? If they had a product that said, powdered shit with cum in it, or something like that, you know, in English, then I'd laugh.

There's those ones that are clichéd. It's cock soup is clichéd, and also that stuff, that African stuff, shitto, or whatever it's called. You've seen that. Oh, yeah. Shitto this, Shito that. Shito that. And then there's that Turkish dip, isn't there?

Seamen. With a C. It's spelled with a C. Seamen. You know that stuff? Oh, yeah. I remember going to Amsterdam and seeing window cleaner called fart. I'm thinking it was hilarious.

Yeah, but it's not, is it? It's just different language. It's just a different language. It doesn't mean it. I'd like to see toothpaste called filthy shit squirt or something. Really? Really? Colgate filthy shit squirt.

Yeah. Vomit flan. Vomit. Wow, you're really doing quite well. Noodle tip. Fresh brock. What does that mean? Okay, someone says, oh, it's tramp come again.

Says, Fucking hell, this guy. He's hardcore. Tramp Come is hardcore, isn't he? He's taking pimping to a whole new level. What I would say on that, though, is if he's used spring onions, yes. new level what i would say on that though is that if he's used spring onions yes i mean they are the number one pimping item you can't

you can't be a noodle pimp without spring onions you know or scallions whatever you want to call it you know what i mean you you should have a packet of spring onions on you everywhere you go basically there's nothing that spring onions won't improve. In the apocalypse. I would eat a pickled egg and an orange lollipop at the same time. Why? Just because I'm like that. Someone's got into... God, it's... You know what?

I've realised on Cheap Show Reddit page, the person who puts the most talk about noodles is whoever Trampcum underscore squeegee is. Yeah. Because there's a thread he started here called Let's Talk Noodles, and it says, one, what's your favourite noodle dish? Two, how do you pimp that bitch? Three, preferred boiling method.

Four, is Paul vaginophobic? I love this guy, Tramp. I love this guy, mate. He should be on the show. We should get him on the show. You can have a rest, Paul. You can just produce it. No. And then you can get this Tramp guy. I'm here for sex mate. He should be on the show. We should get him on the show. You can have a rest, Paul. You can just produce it.

No. And then you can get this tramp guy. I'm here for sex appeal. All right. You should read the thread. It's actually quite interesting. People talk about their favourite ones, like Tom Yum Shrimp is someone's favourite, adding a bit of black pepper.

What else? People putting eggs in. Well, that's quite a controversial noodle in my circle, Paul. Is it? If I could just stop you there. Yes because you've got the Mama do two types of shrimp tom yum. They do shrimp tom yum

and they also do creamy shrimp tom yum. Oh I like the creamy because they've added some coconut milk, desiccated coconut milk essentially to the powder mix and it makes it creamy. But my mate Mark who is, if you want to hear some of Mark's desiccated coconut milk essentially to the powder mix and it makes it creamy but my mate mark who is if you want to hear some of mark's uh sterling review work again you'll have to tune into episode

60 where we do read one of his reviews for the samyang we do chicken ramen spicy chicken ramen noodle um he insists on getting the just the shrimp tom young, and then he, in an admirable bit of pimping, has a block of solid coconut milk which he grates in. Oh, cheeky. Like a boss. Yeah, I mean, come on. Well, we've always said when it comes to Mark Noodles, he lives on the absolute fringe of that society.

He kneels before no man. He lives on the absolute fringe of that society. He is... He kneels before no man. He's a maverick. He's a maverick. He's on the outer edges. He put fried egg in his shit. Mate, he's crazy. He puts cashews.

He puts cashews. I mean, come on. The pimping, the level of pimping going on is, like, ridiculous, man. Would a pistachio do well in a noodle, do you think, as a nut? Well, I have never seen it, Paul, and do you know what? I'm not a big fan

of nuts in food. I mean, I know they are food, but I'm not a big fan. Yeah. I'm not a huge fan of nuts in savoury. You know, I like a nut, but I like it isolated from other foods. I like a salty peanut, you know, just by itself, or a cashew. I mean,

a nuts and raisins is fucking abominable. Can I, I would just like to now move away from noodles, because after about half an hour of talking about it. You'll never get away from noodles, as long as this show as long as this show is going, Paul. I know. You know what? I've accepted. If you hate noodles so much,

why not get Tramp Tramp wanker what's he called underscore squeegee squeegee come tramp boy and uh get him on here and we and you could just shut up and we could talk about noodles to the cows why don't you start your own little fucking noodle podcast with them then hey why don't you just fuck off and do your own little podcast noodle pod. Eh? Go on. I fucking might. Don't tempt me. Go on then. Right, how are we ending?

We've been doing... This House of Pickles Minnesota is now 42 minutes long. Can I just say that? It's alright. I'm going to be cutting a lot of the noodle shit out. I just want to end with one more point. So, someone... Oh, I was going to say someone, but it's just fucking Tramp Cum Squeegee again.

But he's joined the anti-Noel Edmonds brigade. And so, I'm not going to go into every single post, but since Cheep Cheep Cheep has been relegated to the dustbin fire of history, there are a few

Noel Edmonds-based threads on Reddit. I'm not going to go into every one, but I will read out the titles to you, such as He's Watching You Sleep Tonight, Blank Eyes of Bitter Hatred, Throttling His Crinkly Bottom, No Will Cut You, Requiem for a Stranglewang,

which is all of these songs, all these titles are going to become title tracks of our forthcoming Cheap Show album I think I'd just like to know what William Hill would offer me for if I wanted

a bet on who is going to be revealed as a sexual misconduct person next are you putting

money on Noel I'd just like to see the odds Paul you know I'd like to see what the odds William Hill would give me

alright I'd like to know if they even take a bet. On who? On Edmonds, yeah. What are the odds on Edmonds? Do you want me to have a look? See if I can find it online? Yeah.

So, I did a search for Noel Edmonds' odds of being a sex offender. And unfortunately, what came up first was Noel Edmonds reveals he recorded goodbye messages for his daughter before he tried to kill himself in devon home oh no oh mate we are the immoral the uh the humanity of it man man. Right. Should we wrap this up, Paul? We might need to wrap this up because I don't think I don't think going down the Noel Edmonds rabbit hole

is a very good idea. No, it's not. We can all agree that we won the battle of the Noel. You know, when it came to Cheap Cheap Cheap versus Cheap Show. We might not have his numbers. We might not havell, you know, when it came to Cheep Cheep Cheep versus Cheep Show we might not have his numbers we might not have his, you know money

we might not have his talent but what we do have is a special little show that a quarter of a million people have downloaded called Cheep Show and we thank you for listening. Thank you so much for listening

yeah, well his Cheap Cheap Cheap didn't last as long as Cheap Show did it? No in terms of fact? No in terms of raw fucking gumption Cheap Show's gonna keep on rocking while Cheap Cheap Cheap falls asleep in the corner of an old

people's home and gently drifts off into the great hereafter without a single person noticing it was ever there in the corner of an old people's home and gently drifts off into the great hereafter without a single person noticing it was ever there in the first place. Yeah, I know. It's going to be one of those Mandela effect ones. People are going to be like, I don't remember that. I don't remember Cheap Show. Well, no, I don't remember Cheap Cheap Cheap.

I don't remember Cheap Cheap Cheap. Cheap Cheap Cheap. Right, so that's it it thanks for listening to this episode yeah thank you everybody and look forward to some great stuff yeah we've got some good stuff coming up for the end of the year and Christmas don't we certainly do

thank you again for supporting Cheap Show if you want to help us out go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show and you can donate anything you like and we'll give you little rewards for doing so. So thank you to everyone who keeps on donating and we really appreciate it. Follow us on Twitter at thecheapshowpod. Our website, thecheapshow.co.uk, where you can go and see pictures and videos and all kinds of stuff that accompany each of the major episodes.

I'm on Twitter at PaulGannonShow. Eli, where can they find you on Twitter? Eli Snowed. Excellent. I'm on Twitter at PaulGannonShow. Eli, where can they find you on Twitter? Eli Snoid. Excellent. And also, we have a Facebook page as well. You can go there and get involved and be chatty. We're a chatty podcast. We like to say hello.

And that's it. Another little House of Pickles episode out of the way. We hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn't, how about you just keep it to your fucking self? Yeah. Do you have anything else to add? That's all I have. I've got nothing.

I really, I'm sorry. I'll take it.