CheapShow - Ep 93: The Car Boot Sale Challenge 2

Episode Date: September 14, 2018

It's been a long time coming, but CheapShow is finally returning to a much loved format, and hoping not to cock it up a second time! The cheapshow chaps are escaping the confines of the House of Pickles and venturing out into the "real world" to take on a brand new Car Boot Challenge! This time, Paul & Eli are joined by fairweather co-host Ash Frith and his "associate" to see what treasure they can find amongst the trash. The Destination: Trumpington Park & Ride Car Boot Sale, just outside Cambridge. The Challenge: Find 3 "quality" items with a budget of only £10. The Game: It's Ash vs Eli with Paul judging the outcome! What will happen in this ALL BETS ARE OFF edition of the economy comedy podcast? Warning: May Contain the word JUMBLE And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow @elisnoid & @Ashfrith If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US!

Hello, this is Cheap Show, the Car Boot Challenge 2. I'm Paul Gannon and with me is Eli Silverman. Hello, here I am. And not only that, but guess what ladies and gentlemen, it's only Ash Frith joining us too. Hello there, my little cockney knees ups. So, let's see how we got on at the car boot sale good morning cheap show listener this is paul gannon and it is a 10 o'clock on a sunday morning in cambridge and uh we're heading to do our next calm down our next car boot challenge but what's going on well you'll find out because currently, right now, in a car heading from London to Cambridge today,

Eli Silverman and Ash Frith with the boy. They are driving, in fact. They are driving right now into town. I'm going to meet them at the car boot that I've picked today. And it's in Trumpington, just outside of Cambridge. So, new challenges budget fun and games await I'm sure

as we go on our second cheap show car boot sale challenge why don't you join us come on it'll be a lot of fun I hate you and your fucking noodle posse.

People love noodles, alright? It's a fact of cheap show, you're going to have to fucking reset. Noodle time. Tales from the dance floor. How's the dick going? The price of the shite! This is Troy Gannon saying hello. Eli Silver. Welcome to Cheap Show. And I'll go and I'll nuzzle. God almighty, I will say this for Cambridge. The bus service is bloody awful.

There, I've got it off me chest. I shouldn't have to walk two miles to get a bus that will take me the last mile. Anyway, I'm waiting get a bus that will take me the last mile. Anyway I'm waiting for a bus now. I'm errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr noticed on one of my many journeys into London on the National Express that it passes by Trumpington Park and Ride and on Sundays they have a massive car boot sale. So the one we went to in Archway in London last time was fine, a little bit pokey, a little bit crowded. Hopefully today we're going to have a lot more variety on offer, a lot more things to explore so it's going to be a lot of fun, I hope. I haven't really thought of the rules yet, though.

I know it's going to be Eli versus Ash. I haven't really thought that far ahead. Maybe what I'll do is, I'll ask them to present me with all six items. Because I'll have to buy three each for under a tenner. And then, I will rank them from worst to best. And then, yeah, what about then? Each one gets a point. So if it's one point, you're in sixth place. Two points for fifth place, so on and so forth

until you get to first place and you get six points. So that could work, right? I mean, that's a plan. Eli's not allowed to buy fucking vinyl this time, I say that for a fact, I'm not letting him do that, and I don't buy Ghostbusters stuff, so, we'll see. God, I've got to kill seven minutes, don't worry, I'm not going to talk for seven minutes while I wait for a frigging bus, that'll cost a lot of money, because here's the other thing, buses are really expensive in Cambridge, even though they take you two

stops. I'm having a bit of a Cambridge rant. You know I'm leaving Cambridge. Oh, this will be... That's another thing as well. This will be my last Cambridge broadcast of Cheap Show. So... Oh... But the times, they are a-changing.

I'm moving on. I'm moving up. I'm moving out. And... Oh, I'm going back to fucking London. London. I thought I escaped, but it's pulled me back in. So there you go. Right, I'm going to wait for this freaking bus. I wonder how the boys are

getting on in the car. Just recording again, Paul. You can edit this bit out. We're recording again. That bit that we just lost was total magic. magic it seems to be working okay now okay so here here we are oh lost the will to talk just recorded about 20 minutes of gold on the journey that disappears disappeared. Thank you Samsung. So yeah here we are It's Eli here, I'm in the car with Ash. We are on our way up to Cambridge for this bargain... bargain hunt Bargain hunt. It's a rip-off of bargain hunt. I'm gonna make the same thing. I'm gonna say the same thing again Are we sure it's okay to name the thing you're ripping off? Well I don't think we've we've been going on about Noel Edmonds for God's sake. We're not ripping him off but...

If not why not? Yeah. It flows so well. Mr Blobby items, what are your thoughts on those? Well if I see a Mr Blobby item I reckon, would that invoke a bad reaction from Paul? Because last time we recorded you kind of did a run through of what it was we were actually doing. So what we're doing everybody is we're on our way up to a boot sale up in Cambridge, or Caneborough, and we are going to compete to buy some tats and impress Paul with the tat. He will be judging our competition and we've made a truce between ourselves to be the boys of Ghostbusters related items to one item, one Ghostbusters related items to one item.

One Ghostbusters item at least is allowed. Yeah, and I have to thank Eli for that because it hadn't even occurred to me that it was just going to be to please Paul's particular peccadilloes. I thought I would just get the best items. Now I'm very much going to be Paul-centric with my finds. Yeah, it's not about the best items, it's about the best items for Paul. And Ghostbusters is an obvious advantage there. And what else are his interests? Ghostbusters?

He likes enamel. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but it's good for having a level playing field. He really likes enamel pin badges. Does he? He didn't strike me as the kind. Any enamel pin badge whatsoever is going to win affection. But he's not covered in pin badges on a daily basis. I've never even seen him with an enamel pin. When I first got to Noonpool he had a really annoying Ghostbusters pin bash with his ukulele yeah, he told me about his ukulele he had a ukulele

hi, I'm Paul Gannon digga digga dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig look at me, look at me pin bash, digga dig dig he said that he stopped playing his ukulele at gigs stand up gigs when he turned up and four of the five other acts had a ukulele. There was a period like that. There really was.

On the comedy scene. So, we're on our way. I've just realised we didn't get the footage of how we nearly killed someone. The last time we recorded a motorcyclist and his friend were racing and cut behind me then in front of me and I nearly killed them both so it could have been some real drama but hopefully we're gonna... the drama will be on the car park the drama will be the fierce competition brewing like a malignant fart a malignant fart between us here Ash.

It's a level playing field, you know the enamel pin badges are a thing, ghostbusters are a thing. I'm just trying to think of anything else that would... I imagine, what if there's like an enamel ghostbusters pin badge? Basically you've hit the jackpot there, I mean I would spend all of the money on it. And just have one item. Yes. Fair. The other thing we should mention is we both are cashless, so we're not going to be distracted

from the intense heat of the competition. I think that is important to say, that Paul is going to give us pocket money, we are not using our own money, and we will not be distracted by Nintendo Retro Tech. Although Retro Tech is the area I'm probably going to look in. I fancy some kind of vintage microphone. Oh, that would be very nice. I mean, I don't know what the budget's going to be, but that's going to be over that kind of budget, isn't it? Well, you never know, because you can always get a deal.

Are you going to be haggling? Well it's a technique that is allowed isn't it? I cannot do that. I'm pleased for you to do it. Right now I know. I will pay it over. I'll pay double if they accidentally say double. I'll just pay it. Now the problem is it won't do me any good to haggle because we're not competing on a kind of price basis it's simply just look at this port oh I like that I hate you Eli good well done Ash, I don't know why I'm doing it actually you're obviously gonna win. Why? Well because just because of his feelings towards you. Yes, his, conflicted feelings towards me.

Oh, yeah. It's been brewing, hasn't it? Yes. Like a malignant fart. So let's get that in there again. And good. We're on our way. I have a flask of coffee.

We're making a bit of a day of it. I should have brought sandwiches. Yeah. I'm going to need to eat at some stage and do all sorts of other stuff to involve my bodily survival. So, this is Eli signing off. See you on the other side. This just in, I've revealed that this will be the second boot sale I've bid to in my life. I cannot believe that.

I thought it was intrinsic in your life, in your life blood. I thought it was like that film Crank. You have to go to a boot sale every weekend otherwise your heart dips, blows, levels and you explode. No, you're confusing boot sales with charity shops. Yeah, but

I thought they were, like I said, I thought they were intrinsically linked with you. No, boot sales are a bit more suburban, dare I say, suburban or rural thing. Well, I thought there was a boot sale season, because around our way, where we live by Southend, they run from March till maybe October, and then you have a break for a few months. Well, that's because it's an outdoor. Is this not outdoor that we're going to? I think it's outdoor, yeah,

but it could be in a covered market. Yeah. Couldn't it? What's the difference between a boot sale and a faint? I think that's the difference. Oh. It's a faint if it's roofed. What's a...

What's a... You've got a faint of bizarre? What's a bizarre? I like a bizarre. What's the difference between a bizarre and a faint? You know what to fight a bazaar? What's a bazaar? I like a bazaar. What's the difference between a bazaar and a... You know what you don't see anymore these days? Go on. Jumbo sails.

What's the difference? There's not any, but they don't call them jumbo sails. I want to call it a jumbo sail. I like jumbo sails. What do you think of when you think of a jumbo sail? I think of all jumpers. That's so funny. That's so funny.

Big, red, knitted jumpers. That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. And jam. I think that's why um yes so i think as your mood seems to have improved since you've heard that i've only been to two yeah oh god i'm fired up i'm ready for this okay so i shouldn't have leveled the playing field before by telling you what absolutely leveled for playing. I really am. You put a little dip at one end. I've dented my field. I've got all sorts of experience. I go to terrible bootstops all the time. I end up just buying a Wii game for a pound.

Nice. Okay, now that's the other thing. Computer games is Paul's sort of passion. So if you see a good... You're going to have an advantage over me here, because I don't know what's a nice retro game. I think you do. I kind of do,

I guess. I bought a Nintendo Wii and all the controllers and stuff for a pound from a boot sale once. A pound. Brilliant. Imagine if I bought

a poor Wii for a pound. I'd like a Wii. Would you? Yeah. It's quite a long journey, isn't it? Right. So I think that's a natural point for me to I'd like a wee would you yeah it's quite a long journey isn't it wee right

so I think that's a natural point for me to stop this recording if I have any updates we're just

still toddling along on our way to the sale where we'll rendezvous with Paul and he'll

give us the lowdown on the actual brawls we're going to get an amount of money each and a time limit and then with Paul and he'll give us the lowdown on the actual rules. We're going to get an amount of money each and a time limit and then reconvene with our booty bags. Loot booty. I wish you hadn't said booty bags. And then the judgment will fall.

So talk to everyone soon. Hello. We have just arrived arrived very exciting moment here parking for boots out this way we're parking for the boot sale i can see some boot sale action going on i've got a tingling all all up inside my legs and i can see there's some stalls there we're just gonna we're just gonna park up're here. There's a lot of people leaving. It's on. I need to locate the cafe thing.

I hope they take credit cards. I bet they don't. There's meats. You can buy meats here. Boot sale meat. Boot sale meat. That'll be fine, won't it? All right, so here we are.

There's people looking in Sports Direct bags. That's a short sign of quality. You can get a bus here as well which is good. This is the park and ride. Cambridge Park and Ride. I feel like I'm parking too far away. I don't think we need to be this far away. That's all right. Get the legs stretched. Okay so here we are. We've arrived. Paul isn't here. He's made some excuse Paul isn't here he's made some excuse about a bus but he's gonna be 50 longer to get here than it is how far he lives away yes so it's gonna take him 15 minutes he says in the meantime I'm trying to find a cash point to eat and worryingly it looks like everyone is packing up their stalls and so it could be a real non-event today here you can see lots of tables being folded

and stuff stowed and uh what are your thoughts ash i'm worried i'm concerned that the ghost buster stall might already have packed up and gone. So just hoping that we can find some bits and pieces. There's still plenty here. It's just we've not come at peak time. I don't think. Okay. Hopefully there'll be a few stalls remaining by the time we actually start the competition, which should be soon, but the meantime we're going to Sainsbury's. Sorry Waitroseress right finally on the bus it took forever and then i get a phone call the minute i get on the bus from eli nash saying they're already there so now i'm the one who looks like a massive big dickhead i'm letting

the side down i'm late i'm blaming the buses in cambridge because they're once every eight years and they cost £20,000. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. I got a bus. A return ticket to Trumpington and back and I guarantee you it's less than a six, seven minute journey. £4.50 for a turn. £4.50!

It's a bloody rip-off. Anyway, I'm not going to... I mean, I am complaining but, oh, mate, so far I'm late going to... I mean, I am complaining, but... Oh, mate. And so far, I'm late. I've paid more than I expected for a bus journey. It's not going well for Paul. I've got to get my shit together. Means Eli and Ash have the upper hand now.

Anyway, Eli's going to get something to eat. That's exciting. So, I guess... I guess we'll be meeting up soon. So, yeah yeah it's exciting I wonder what will happen oh they're here

I thought I was recording it I didn't double press it and I had a nice little chat with the driver and it's all gone now well me and Eli have both

also just done the same thing we recorded for about 10 minutes and that was all gone as well so you haven't got anything no we've got loads but we

there was a whole section where we nearly killed a man on a motorbike and that disappeared so well probably for the best in terms of evidence it was his fault it was his fault but yeah no we're here we're ready we're excited we're pumped um i was just saying i know that you'll set down the rules but um eli very much scored a bit of an own goal by saying we've limited ourselves to only one ghostbusters item per per team yeah so that uh you can't just easily be impressed well maybe i'll dock you for getting a ghostbusters item because i think it's playing to the crowd so i didn't even think about that i knew i was just going to buy the best items i found i wasn't thinking with you specifically in mind but i've completely changed my i do have rules they will be set in place once we get going but until then you need to all just relax and calm down and soak up the environment and the

ambience of trumpington park and ride car boot sale and here comes the little yeti himself are you are you better now no i will be soon so did you as, as I told you, it's all off. What is off? They're all packing up. Well, they don't close till three, so I don't know why they're all packing up now. Because that's just something they put on a piece of paper to make people come here. Well, then we're going to have a very short... It's got to be safe in a car park in Cambridge. Well, I'm going to be very... Oh, come off the road. Car, car, car.

Can you explain the rules? No, do you want to eat your burger first before I explain the rules? I can listen to you whilst eating. I don't know why you've got so combative. I don't know who is buying boot sale meat and munching it down and not expecting some recriminations. That's true. That looks lethal. It's a lovely burger. You've got cheese all in your beard.

What a great start. Let's have the rules. Oh, you want the rules, do you? In that case, here's how we're playing the car boot challenge today. Right. I'm going to give you both a tenner, right? Yes. A tenner. Yeah? Yeah.

Pig. And with that tenner, you can buy anything you want for any price. Obviously, you've only got a tenner. You have to buy three items. Okay, three items. Just three or three or more? Three items, no more, no less. Three items, right?

And then at the end you'll present them to me blind so I won't know who bought what, right? So what I'm going to do... That's good, that's good. You happy with that? I'm good with that, yeah. And then I'm going to try and do two things. One is separate them into who bought what. Lovely.

The more accurate I am, the more points you get. The second thing is I'm going to rank them from awful to best item. So if it's the sixth worst thing, you get one point all the way up to the top, which is the first best, which gets six points. Okay. All right? Happy? Really good.

Really, really good. I like it a lot. And then I will be Judicator. I'll be popping in as you explore and asking, you know, seeing how you're going and seeing how it is and what you've been buying and what you're mulling over. But ultimately, I don't want to know what you bought. You can't show me even after the item's been...

Well, we've got bags. You have bags. Do you have a bag? Yes. Yes. It's really hot. Eli's eating a really hot burger. He is.

Is it a hot burger? I'd give it 5 out of 10 6 out of 10 I've already decided I'm going to waitrose post boot sailing I need to boot sail on an empty stomach so that I've got the hunger for the boot sail and actual hunger

ok then should we wait until you've eaten before we start the clock? yeah give me three minutes Eli's got indigestion three minutes let's take a little break while Eli eats some more

diarrhoea just pure diarrhoea well not pure diarrhoea but you know it's the active agent in his bowels yeah an E.coli burger I think that's what

they're selling it as E.coli burger yep it got a bigger response than I thought it got more than I thought yeah alright well Ecoli Burger. I think that's what they're selling it as. Eco Eli Burger. Yep. It got a bigger response than I thought. It got more than I thought, yeah. All right, well, it's a little bit... There's an ice cream van here. Can I just buy £10 worth of ice cream?

I mean, you could, but then you wouldn't win. And then you'd have £10 worth of ice creams to eat. I don't eat ice cream because I'm a vegan. I just remembered. You're useless. Even your spiteful things are useless. So, yeah, explore. I mean, it's usually bigger than this.

Unfortunately, like a typical cheap show stall, we pick it on a... There's one stall that's over in the third car park. Yeah. They're going to be... Oh, no, there's a couple over there, I just realised. Sorry, I thought there was one just all on his own over there. Go on. I don't want to worry you guys, but it does look like everyone's leaving.

We really do need to maybe hurry up eating a burger and get on with it yeah maybe do that I'm sorry oh for fuck's sake

the thing worse than hearing that was seeing his mouth full of masticated food and a beard covered in cheese drippings it's mustard your honour

it's mustard yeah alright well let's take a little break while you finish eating and then we'll start the quiz proper. Right, let's begin the car boot sale challenge. Oh, it's going to be exciting. Are you recording now? Yeah, I'm recording now. Look, I bought a flask of coffee. Look at this. I'm like, proper.

I mean, to be fair, he's right. Eli's just come for a picnic. He has, he's come for a burger, he's got his coffee, it's a big day out for Eli. Ooh that's really hot. I think we need to start on the opposite side. Woo there was a wasp on a child's face. Already exciting times, dangerous times happening on TGP. That's an omen that I'm going to win, yes.

Alright, it's an omen that I'm going to win, yes. All right, it's an omen. Right, okay. So, did I explain the rules already? I can't remember if I told them off mic or on mic. You're going to give us a tenner. I'm going to give you a tenner each. Let's just start from scratch. You get a tenner each.

In fact, here we go. Here's a tenner for you. Here's a tenner for you. Thank you. You can't go over that. You can go under, obviously, but that's your prerogative you buy three items each

I want to be in the dark about what those items are okay yeah and that's it we'll come back in an hour we'll meet at the ice cream van

in an hour yeah record as you go chat banter give us your thoughts I'll meet up with you every once in a while

see how things are going it's all up to you I might even while I'm here buy a few things for Cheap Show for another episode. All right? Good luck. Good luck, E.R.

Good luck to you. I think we should shake hands, Paul. Yeah, they're shaking hands. Good luck. Good luck to you. I like this. It is 10 to 12 now. We'll be back here in an hour's time.

That's 10 to 1. Good? Good luck. Happy hunting. Yeah. Good luck to all three of us. Good. Go. Bye. Bye. Remember our thing about the Ghostbusters, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Happy hunting. Yeah, good luck to all three of us. Good, go. Bye.

Bye. Remember our thing about the Ghostbusters, yeah? Yeah, yeah. All right. I will just say now, the Ghostbusters thing might be a fool's errand. I might dock your points for trying to appeal to the crowd. Listen, mate. Listen, because you didn't fill in what's going on with that.

We've got some ground rules that we've agreed as gentlemen amongst ourselves, and we've limited ourselves to one Ghostbusters item each if any fine alright well then go is that fine? yeah go on go enjoy yourself the game's afoot and they're off I just realised that I'd left my recording equipment in the car so Eli is at the peripheral of the boot sale and he's getting an

extra cheeky look at some of the goodies before we started schoolboy era for me really so I've walked away from the others I've gone in a different direction to Eli completely eli completely um i did see this as we walked in um there's a film a movie called hulk hogan the ultimate weapon which i just think is very very funny yeah well if he's the ultimate weapon then why has he got a gun that's also very true yes um excuse me how much is this? 50p. 50p, I'm going to have that please. Oh yeah, definitely going to have that. Sorry, is that... That's great. So, Hulk Hogan, the ultimate weapon, has been purchased.

And also his gun. The ultimate weapon and his gun. That's my first purchase on the first stall that I've come across. That's good. I think we've done really well there. So we've come over from one section. Shall we go down that end? We have come across to the... The famous burger stand.

Yeah, the Eli Burger Stand. That is the voice of my son, Greg. Say hello, Greg. Hello, my name is Gregory. I'm going to be giving him a name different name throughout he's going to be my assistant so we do have a little one over on eli to be fair because there is two of us but we're in the main section now looking at some canvas prints from scarface oh this looks like it could be a good one have a little look there have a little look

there's um so we've got three items i've already made one purchase the uh the hulk hogan ultimate weapon and his gun yeah i like this that's really nice that's a bowl from the game bowls championship bowl no do you not think do you not think you'd be impressed by that? It's a good stall. Sorry. Oh, hello. There's Paul. I bumped into him accidentally. I'm looking for things myself.

I can show you because it doesn't really matter. But look, I'm getting this. That's really good. Tales of the Macabre comic. That's a really good comic. Where did that come from? Oh, this one. Yeah.

Anyway, I'll leave you to it. I'll leave you to it. Thank you. We've already made one purchase. We are very excited by it. I was disappointed that box got packed away because it had a lot of stuff i thought you might like in it oh well yeah timing is everything unfortunately because we got here at midday it's all closing down yeah that's crazy right well good luck we'll see you see you shortly just i've spotted paul over there and uh i'm gonna do a wanker sign at him. It's making me

giggle I'm just standing here looking at him doing a wanker sign and he's looking at some tat over there. I bought an ice axe which I think he might just be a sucker for as it is 18 magic tricks in a box and it's all there mint on card practically and you've got the little booklet with it and it's a step up from the one of those uh poundland magic set which uh come in on the show and this is from next to clothing manufacturers but it's 18 magic tricks perform incredible tricks all day you can do them all day paul i think you're going to really love that i'm feeling confident and buoyed i've made my first purchase and i've almost got 40 minutes left here and i'm just going to go and gloat i think i'm going to go up to paul and gloat i'm just trying to get around some cars here there are a lot of people packing up, so at least I've got one item in.

And there's Paul over there. He's looking at some tapes and stuff. And, er... How are things going for you? I bought a comic. I just spoke to Ash. Oh, I want that. Yeah, well, I'm having it. You can't have it, can you? Tell you what, I'll give you ten. Just give me that and I win, yeah?

And I'll just give it to you, and come on. Yeah, but you've you've got to get three items mate and he's already seen me with it now do you know what i've got an item already i'm gonna love it you are absolutely you are good ticking the pull box and it's not it's not i'm ticking your tinkle and uh it's not ghostbusters either all right that's exciting i'll leave you to it i'm looking for some retro tech that's exciting, I'll leave you to it. I'm looking for some retro tech. I came out for some retro tech. I saw a Sudoku machine. Have you seen those? I guess it's just a Sudoku LCD. It looks like, yeah, but it's a flip.

It's like a clamshell design. Oh. Yeah, no. It's fancy. I don't like Sudoku though. No, I don't either. That's because you're shit at thinking. Numbers, yeah, you're right.

Alright Paul, I'll leave you to it. Alright. Who's presenting this segment? Me or you? That's what I want to say. Okay, I'll leave you to it. Alright. Who's presenting this? Zagman? Me or you? That's what I want to say. Okay. I'll leave you to it.

I've got two things that's got arms in there. Look at that. Oh, look at that. Penknife. Oh, there's lots of them. There's a few here. But I like that. Look at that.

Oh, it's an enamel pin badge. I'm going to have to look here to buy something. Alright. I'll leave you to it. Just leave me to it, okay? Well, that was interesting. I was just absconded by an old man who was wondering who I was talking to

and what I was recording interviews for. And I told him what a podcast was and he didn't know. And that's upsetting because he had to extend and explain what a download is. Oh, I've seen Ash. I'm going to walk in the other direction so he doesn't see me. and that's upsetting, because he had to extend and explain what a download is, oh, I've seen Ash,

I'm going to walk in the other direction so he doesn't see me, but yeah, and then he goes, well, you know that old man is behind me, and I was like, no, because I didn't, and he's old, well, he's very famous, the man said, and if you're willing to pay, I could have an interview with him, and I was like, I'm not paying for an interview with an old man I don't know who he is honestly so I'm just gonna uh carry on looking I've already picked a few things up it's exciting uh the cheap show didn't tell Eli what and how much they were but uh yeah that's where we stand so far I was accosted by an old man who tried to make me interview another older man I want some enamel badges that's what I stand so far. I was accosted by an old man who tried to make me interview another older man. I want some enamel badges.

That's what I want. But everyone's packing up. Everyone's packing up. And yet there could be so many more treasures. There could be so many more treasures and we're just missing out. This might be finished a lot earlier. This might be a very short edition of Carboot Challenge on Cheap Show. Let's see see let's see where we go on the next visit oh there's another little section here i'm going to check it out i'm going to check it out ash and eli they're both on the way they both got

an item each so this is exciting let's see where we go so i picked up a child's cutlery set very old-fashioned like um in sheffield still made in sheffield it's original in its box it's absolutely beautiful piece of kit looks like it's from maybe the 30s or 40s absolutely lovely very good purchase i think um he'll be very impressed by that i think that could be a could be one of the best items at that entire boot sale let alone uh for this game but we press on so we've got two items now we've got the ultimate weapon and and his gun in hulk hogan and we've now got the child's cutlery set in box mint in box um and that was three pound fifty so we have now got £6 left to spend. There comes Paul Gannon now. He's run away, he's run away.

I feel like we've done really well and I feel like we have only been here for a few minutes so we press on. So I bought another item it is a a glass sweet a boiled sweet fashioned in glass and i also just overheard the lady at that shop talking to her friend saying that people leaving earlier so we really at the uh at the tail end of this everyone's packing up I've been walking up and down I've just spotted another little island across the car park where there might be something else but otherwise I'm going to have to get a wriggle on and really get a third item now I'm not sure if I'm going to actually make this my third item but we'll see

We'll see. I'm just going to have to scoot out onto the road here. It's lovely this little glass suite. It's something that looks like something, but isn't actually the thing. But it has no point apart from looking like a thing. So a real multi-faceted object, glass suites, I think it's gonna be one of my items and we'll see what's over here now, I'm just going to have a separate little stall and see what that has got not much there a few bits of bric-a-brac and a table selling uh nothing but empty cots and child baby clothes and things which is depressing because it just makes me feel like there's a sad story behind the fact of a woman with a lonely desk selling nothing, nothing but clothes for a child that will never be worn again.

So, let's have a look at the clock, what we've got so far. It's ten past twelve. There's still plenty of time, but what will close first? This place, or our chances to buy anything bloody hellfire I mean seriously everyone's closing down I appreciate we could have gotten here earlier but I was surprised that by midday everything's closing down so we're looking now at a stall that's got some vintage stuff and there's a vintage little flight bag with some japanese writing

did you say china because on the other side it actually said china oh did it if you read i didn't read that's why you're here mate that's nice china airlines perfect yeah no we're just uh we're recording a podcast and we've been given a challenge to buy some good items so i think that's really nice nice little object what do you reckon yeah it's pretty nice i think it's going to be right up each street as well okay i think so i think that's perfect okay we're going to get it it was it was five pounds yeah nice perfect We're going to get it. So that's it. We've got our three items. We've got the cutlery set.

Yeah, we've got the Hulk Hogan, the ultimate weapon and his gun. Yeah. And we've got the flight bag from China Airways. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by saying it might have been Japanese writing, but I couldn't tell the difference. It took an 11-year-old to work out what it was. And we're kind of liaising now with Paul Gannon, he's walking towards us, he's walking away from us, he has not seen us, I've not seen us, I'm talking louder. Don't bother, I'm ignoring it, how are things going? We've got our three items. Already? Yeah, yeah. I don't know how Eli's getting on. I haven't

seen Eli. He just keeps popping up. There he is, Is that the beast? That's the beast. Oh, look at him. Look, he looks dashing. We've got our three items. That's great. We're happy with them. Oh, okay. And...

I'm not sure happy is the word. I'm not sure happy is the word either. You know what? I'm a bit disappointed by how quickly everyone's closed up today. It is really closed up. It kind of feels like we've not had a proper chance to breathe and soak up the atmosphere. I think if we'd have got here at seven, we might have been in business. Yeah, we weren't doing that.

Right, I've just turned up there. Paul was there. It's like he's following me around. And the problem is, everyone's packing up, so there really isn't that much to look at anymore. But I've got two items at least, so I'm feeling pretty confident it's going to light the box of magic but of course it is a blind it's a blind judgment so I'm just going to see if there's anything there's this still I've already visited but I'll just see because basically there isn't much else going on here I'll have a little look at this again and then make a decision on my third item

because really the rain seems to be coming in now and everyone's packing in and we'll see. There's some pots, there's a little motorbike, there's a USB cable, always handy. I want a big ticket item, I've only spent 3 quid. Let's see here, 3 for a quid cars here there's some animals here really starting to panic the penknife is going to be the best thing and I can see them they're all looking at me and I'm going to go there all over there so I can see if I can gauge how well Ash has done and see his level of confidence and see if I maybe need the penknife because everyone's packing up and it's a bit of a disaster.

It's a disaster! Is it a disaster? Is it a disaster? How are we doing at this point because apparently Ash, Team Ash has got all his items. All three I thought so and the grin, the little grin? Because apparently Ash Team Ash has got all his items All three I thought so And the grin The little grin on his face Team Ash

How are you doing, Eli? Oh, I'm floundering Everyone's going home Have you got anything yet? Yeah Oh, good Yeah I got some things as well

That comic you got was delicious Yes, they're good They're good, they're good Yeah, what's that? A ghoul comic? It's just some kind of Anthology of horror comic It's not like EC

It's like that But it's not that. EC style, yeah. Yeah, that's exciting. Right, I'm going to go get another item then. Go on then. How many have you got to get?

One. Alright, go for it. I've got something on mind. Yeah? Boo! You've got to get there before they close. The pressure is severely on.

I know, everyone's going and I overheard someone saying, I know I've got this on one of my little bits that I recorded, but it bears saying again, you should have done your research, Paul.

Should have done your research. I did did and no one's going to get here before midday anyway so imagine if we'd gotten here at one like originally agreed we'd just be standing in a car park right now that has its benefits that is that is trademark cheap show you do yeah i do it's nice good luck anyway good luck time is on your side or on anyone's side right now no there's only been one good stall this guy came up to me i've already recorded this but this guy comes up to me and goes what radio station are you from and i was like oh no mate it's for a podcast he went 78 i don't know what a podcast is i was like it's like a radio show for your phone you download it he goes down radio i was like all right over there dude what did he say we went to the stall over there and he said uh because i was recording my little section and You download it. And he goes, down radio. And I was like, all right. Over there, what did he say?

We went to the stall over there, and he said, because I was recording my little section, and he said something like, oh, is this for trading standards or something like that? Yeah, because they're all thinking of the tax dodge. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I said, no, no, no, we're doing a podcast. And he went, oh, right. Lost interest. Yeah, I've got no interest.

As long as I'm in the clear, I'll be all right. Yeah. Anyway, now on for the podcast, tax avoidance. Well, it's cheap. Yeah. So that's great. You be all right yeah anyway now on for the podcast tax avoidance well it's cheap yeah so uh that's great there was one item the key item i couldn't buy that i would have loved to get did you see the old-fashioned phone with the receiver and the you held the uh too costly yeah it was 15 so yeah no yeah too much fair enough fair enough oh showing off your switch carts even though I can't afford a Switch yet. Well, we couldn't get any of those at the Boots, unfortunately. I am saddened by the number of tables that have toys on

that all look like they've been found in a skip outside of a burnt-out house of a family that didn't survive it. Yeah, take whatever you want for these, Matt, I just found them. But anyway, that old man, he goes to me, you know, sitting behind me, and I look behind me and there's this old man sitting in a chair, and he goes, it's very just found them. But anyway, that old man, he goes to me, do you know who's sitting behind me? And I look behind and there's this old man sitting in a chair and he goes,

it's very famous. And I was like, yeah? And he goes, how much do you pay for interviews? And I'm like, I'm not paying an interview

to have a random chat with an old man. Cambridge celebrity. That's weird, isn't it? Because he knows about old celebrities in actual people form

but he didn't know about podcasts. So it's like two worlds collided. Yeah. But anyway, the point is that he can fuck off. Anyway, I'm going to have a little look around, see if I can grab anything. We'll see in a minute.

We're going to just sort of gleefully wander around. Gleefully wander around. Now, I will say this. Our point of return, our base point, has driven off. So the ice cream van is not there anymore. It could be left alone, just in the car park. Yeah. I mean, everything is gone.

The things that I saw when I was walking into the place, I thought, oh, I'll have good luck there because Paul will like that kind of thing. They all closed first. Gone. But I think that's because they made money. Maybe, but not much. Anyway, let's see what we can get in the last dregs of this typically cheap show-esque

deflated show. Dear, we're now down to maybe five or six stands not much left at all very upsetting. So here's a tip for you if you're planning on going to a car boot sale in your local area get there early because apparently everyone wants to go home at midday bit depressing but there you go okay I didn't go well I just bumped into them they're all standing there mocking me looking at me mocking me and they all and Ash said oh how many items have you

got and then he stuck three fingers very petulantly in the air and they're standing there just congratulating each other whilst I'm desperately trying to find something. I've bought three items but I'm just going to jazz it up. I need something to jazz this up. I'm desperate. I think some of the sellers can see the desperation in my eyes. I just gonna buy three of those cars because i like them and that's that so here we go i just uh heard eli has got his third item he didn't seem that confident i've got to be honest i feel like we might have this just based on um based on body language alone but he's blind a blind test but ah i do think we've got... What do you think... Chris, what do you think our best item is?

I, Thomas, think that the kids' cutlery is just old. It's nice, though, isn't it? I don't know. Oh, okay. That's rocked my confidence slightly. There's a dog there screaming. You might appreciate that it's old. Yeah, I think so.

It's in a very nice package. Feeling confident and we'll go on to the final Inquisitor in a moment. And then we just get to keep some random items at our house some old tat yeah went okay yeah i'm just uh here interviewing my uh rivals how do you feel it went for you it went okay how do you feel it went for you i think we got one really well there's one actually really nice thing but one of the items i think is the best is my best item best item ever i think it's just a again a really nice thing i think i might have bought for you more than paul

though okay well i'm liking this with one item we can come to an arrangement because i've still got five pounds left over i think there's scores for frugality oh dear i didn't manage to spend much at all did you see the old antique phone over there? That was my... I didn't see that. It was £15. Anyway, I'm not liking the whole sort of jolly, confident air about you. I feel happy.

I've got a good item. Well, remember, it's a blind one. So he won't know. It won't be any favouritism. No, I accept that. And this is Eli signing out. Is there a special item? I've bought four items.

You're going to have to pick three. I know. It's a tough one, isn't it? Yes. What about if you bought, let's say, let's just say, for example, you bought three things because they were three for a quid and they wouldn't, they wouldn't, they wouldn't... At the point of sale, they wouldn't break them down into their separate components, but in fact it's three objects. Are they three of the same-ish kind of objects?

Yes, absolutely the same. I would count it as one lot. You'll accept that as one item? I will accept that as one item, is that alright? Well, I'm glad there's some sanity around here. Oh dear. I'm going to go buy a bottle of water. Go buy a bottle of water Oh dear. I'm going to go buy a bottle of water. Go buy a bottle of water, dear.

So it looks like we're wrapping up a lot earlier again, due to the fact that everyone's fucking off. It's a typically cheap show, isn't it? We make all the effort to get to a car boot sale and what happens? It's closing down the minute we get here. It's almost as if they knew we were coming. You know, I reckon it's the most donated

or certainly available to buy in a charity shop or car boot sale album artist of all time is... Matt Devaney? James Last? I mean, you know, that would be a good ask. James Last. No, I was going to say Barbara Streisand. Oh, yes. The number. And do you know that album when she's sort of in an embrace with the guy out of the Bee Gees? Chris Christopherson. No, I was going to say Barbara Streisand. Oh, yes. The number. And do you know that album when she's sort of in an embrace

with the guy out of the Bee Gees? Chris Christopherson. No. There's one where she's in an embrace with the guy out of the Bee Gees. Yeah. Some pug on beagle action going on over there. So, it's actually that one, what's he called? Robin Gibb.

The only one, the one surviving Bee Gee. The surviving B... G. It's that one where she's snogging him and the one with Christopherson. Yeah, they always turn up. Barry Manlow, James Last. They're all there. Come here with the recording device.

I'm coming. That's the old standard, yeah. That seed, Paul, it's got a nice sticker on it. It's a Christmas, WH Smith Christmas toy price sticker. You're right. And where do you think that dates from? Could be as old as the 90s. No.

You think it's more recent? I would say it may be 80s even. Really? Could be. Could be. Could be. Well, that's a mystery we're going to have to leave hanging. We didn't need an hour, either of us, to...

Stop pointing. Well, that was when it was made, yeah. Oh, that's when it was patented, Ash. Come on, man.

Come on. You've got no chance. Come on, mate. Oh, no, I think I... You've dated all your items wrong,

haven't you? I genuinely think I might have done with one of them. Really? Yeah, okay. So, shall we,

therefore, retire to the studio, the Ashmobile, and when we get there, we can do the get there we can do the test and we can sum this up. It's been a great day, Paul. Thanks for having me.

Wow, that is completely, completely drenched in fucking sarcasm. No, it wasn't. No, I'm not sarcastic. I'm not. I'm never sarcastic. No. Bastard. Well, what a typically cheap show day out this has been. If it starts to rain then that'll be the little whopper on the top. The little gold crust.

Right, so Ash and Eli now are preparing their goods. They've bought three things each, a total of six items and I'll be trying to rank them from worst to best. If it's the sixth worst item it'll get one point, fifth worth two points so on and so forth until we get to the top best and that gets six points. It's exciting stuff. So they're arranging that now in the back of the thrift mobile. I've been told to walk away so I don't see what's going on so I'm now randomly pacing the car park like a creepy old man but I'm not I'm not god how long does it take them to just fucking line up six items so Trumpenden Park and Ride uh car boot sale every Sunday just outside of Cambridge um by all means go to it but if you're going to get there get there early because apparently it's all happening at six o'clock in the morning. We weren't ever going to get here at six in the fucking morning.

So I don't know what that was going to be about, but I guess the ones in London open a little bit longer with them being a little bit more urban. You know when you do sequels to popular things, you kind of wonder if the sequel's going to be good enough. I think this will be about on par. On par with our first one. I bought some interesting items, but I'll keep those a secret

until our next Cheap Show episode. Because what I bought today will be the items I present to Eli in a future Price of Shite. My God, they're still debating what order to put things in. Have you finished yet? Hold my horses. All right. So we're in the boot of the car. We've got them we're gonna... Should we talk about each other's items? Yeah I mean that's what's happening here.

got and we're gonna so we talk about each other's items yeah i mean that's that's what's happening here you're gonna show me yours yeah show me your first item my first item this is really bought because i thought it was funny more than anything okay let's see it this is oh yeah oh that's cool yeah the ultimate weapon that's excellent he's got a nice gun. There, let's see. What's... Merceries Ben Cutter, Hulk Hogan, Vince Dean, Carl Marott, who... assigned a mission to destroy a cache of stolen US military arms in a daring raid on a heavily armed encampment. The IRA terrorist leader, Dylan McBride...

Dylan McBride. ...demands revenge and kidnaps Cutter's daughter, Mary Kate. Ooh. So it's a taken sort of thing. After stealing a computer chip that contains access to codes to ira worldwide bank accounts whoa mary kate managed to escape mcbride's clutches what not even so hulk doesn't rescue her a deadly game of cat and mouse i always love a deadly game of cat and mouse i just think no one thought about calling it the ultimate weapon might mean that you think he's an ultimate weapon.

Then ensues, culminating in an exciting hand-to-hand combat between Cutter and McBride. That looks very poor. Come on then, do you want to do one? I'll do one. Or shall I do all three? You do all three, come on. Okay, so then this I just think is a beautiful item. Oh, I saw that.

I had my eye on that. There we go. The child's cutlery set. It's a child's cutlery set. Oh, it's complete. I didn't look inside. Oh, that is a very nice item, isn't it? It looks like it's unused.

It's got the back card there. Lovely printed back card. It's got that lovely 1940s colouration. Yeah, I thought 1940s. That's when I panicked when you said what you said about the... The age range. Do we think... no that looks original to me. I need to pick the sticker off. Pick the sticker off because that will just distract him. Well that was the actual price. Yes. Oh no! That's ok. And it was made in Trefford. And then my last one. The shape of your two items so far very rectangular. Oh and again. Oh. Oh. The bag. I like that. Yeah I thought that's the one I said I bought for you really. That I really like. It's a China Airlines. What kind of

bag do you call that? I'm glad you said that. A flight bag apparently. It's a flight bag apparently. It's a flight bag, China Airlines. So you could pack a good kilo of uncut. I wondered whether it was Japanese and then Steve there said that it says something outside China. Steve saw that and yeah, good. Good on you, Steve. And look, I'm just modelling that now. What do you think? That's nice. That's really nice.

It's a really nice object. It's very nice nice so you've done well and i think you're in it with a very good chance of winning yeah i'm going to turn it over that way because that one you haven't pandered to paul's taste and i cynically went for something that i just thought paul it's right up his street basically and here it is my first item it's 18 magic tricks that's really nice look it's all in there got bits of string got the magic wand because he's he's obsessed and look there's a little booklet you get in the back the booklet's still in there that's slip you don't get packaging like that when's that from i don't think it's 2000 the year 2000 but that's nice that's, that's a nice object, congratulations. And I think

that's in with a good chance of being the top item. Good packaging, just based on packaging alone, you've picked up a hair, I'll take that out. Please take the hair out. Okay, so all of yours are rectangular, and all of them that we've seen so far are rectangular. I'm going to break the mould here. It's a nice little pen knife. This was an issue to someone, probably as a gift when they worked with Western Trading Gloucester Limited. So hopefully they weren't a bad company. It's a little fishing knife or something isn't it? It is. Try not to injure myself. You've got a blade, a little 3 inch blade there. It's very simple. And what's the other thing?

A bottle opener and a screwdriver. A screwdriver, bottle opener, pre-Philips screwdriver. You only get Philips screwdriver heads on these things now. Really? On the pendants? It's a bit grimy but it's a nice little thing. I think that's a really nice one. I reckon that's a really nice, I reckon that's quite old. Eh? Yeah.

You can probably find out by gambling. Now, I need, I know you're the enemy and everything but I need, I've got, I've got two third items I don't know what to go with. Just hang on. I've got a set which I've already passed this with Paul. No! Look away! Look away! Look away!

Hold your horses! It's not all about you! Tell them they can see your items. It's not about you! Right. We're in a car by the way. This is... So, three vehicles,

and you get three for a pound. An aerodyne. An aerodyne van. And a hovercraft. Nice. And also, that looks like a... A and a hovercraft nice and also that looks like a fire department hovercraft it's a fire hovercraft what are they going out a boat oh yeah yeah thank you the water right so and then your little a little racing car there with a nice sort of it looks like a sort of japanese style of it but i don't it but I don't like it. It's made in China. It could still be a Japanese style. So I've got those three or nice metal you don't get so much proper metal but plastic

underneath. The other thing is a boiled sweet made out of glass. I mean it's the boiled sweet made out of glass. I've seen that. I mean they're nice, don't get me wrong, but the ball swim hair glasses. That's what I thought. Okay, so let's mix these up. We don't want them all to be sitting next to each other. But we want... That's nice. I mean it's nice for what it is.

I don't want it. I want the bag though. You can have the bag. Oh thanks mate. Alright, so the cars are going back in the pocket what do you think who do you think

is going to win honestly I think this might swing it the bag I think is really nice the styling of the bag is really really nice

it's a lovely style the DVD from me was just a joke really that is going to be a very poor film and it might produce some more content

because we might watch it and do it in a later podcast. I'm happy to be on that one. The Charles Cutlery set I think is probably the nicest item. I just think it's a really, really nice design. This little glass suite is... It's interesting, isn't it? It's really nice.

And the craftsmanship to actually make that. And it's so pointless. That's what gets me about these things. The magic tricks. I think this... And and i like it i love the packaging it's probably something you see before maybe yeah it's a bit too a bit too brown it's clearly a little come on isn't it yeah um and the knife is really nice as well i think the knife might be quite old i think the bag i think the bag's gonna swing it for you? I think I've got the two best items. Okay, so you reckon you're going to get six and five with those items?

I think these two will probably, the sweet and the knife will come in third and fourth. That's what I think. So that's seven and then, yeah. Oh! Okay, so he's feeling very confident. I'm not sure. What do you think? I think he probably will. I always lose these things. And if I have a bit of bravado, it just makes it worse.

What's your favourite two items? My favourite two items? It could be these two, to be fair. My favourite two items are the bag and the sweet, I think. The sweet is really nice. I like the penknife as well. The penknife. I reckon the penknife could genuinely be... And did you even see anything that was Ghostbusters themed?

No, we didn't see anything. There was some Moshi Monsters. Yeah. What are Moshi Monsters? What do you do with those? Collect them, I think. I think there was maybe a TV programme. We told you!

It's all right! Come over! It's ready! We're ready! What happens next? What happens next in the Cheap Show Car Boot Challenge? Well, you would have found out had I not lost the audio footage. I did a blunder.

I don't know what happened. We recorded it. I pressed save. I saw it recording. I have to completely back you here. And I know that's unfashionable on this podcast, but I saw it recording. I have to completely back you here. And I know that's unfashionable on this podcast, but I saw it recording. I absolutely saw it. Well, Ash, I have to take a contrary position.

Oh, of course you do. Of course he fucking does. You fucked it in some way, didn't you, Paul? You did. I mean, there you go. I mean, there's no denying that. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened.

I can't explain it. Yeah, you can't explain it. You fucked it. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. I can't explain it. Yeah, you can't explain it. You fucked it. I'll explain it for you. Yeah. Look, you fucked it up. There. That's an explanation.

I feel like Eli is really letting go, because he didn't swear at all at the car boot sale, did he? No, not at all. Look at him go. He's unleashing hell on you. Piss. Ash, do you know what I think happened honestly do you know because of the outcome

no spoilers quite yet but you know because of the outcome I reckon someone wanted that footage gone I'm saying there might have been sabotage involved because my bag was open for a while and because Eli is a petty horrible little man,

I think he reached into my bag. And even though he plays this out, now how to use a computer, I reckon he secretly fucking knows the business. And he got in and he deleted it. And then it was like, He secretly knows the business. It's gloves off, is it, Paul?

It's gloves off, is it? I'm just saying. It's gloves off, is it, Paul? Is it, yeah? It's gloves off, is it? I'm just saying. It's gloves off, is it? No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, if you want to throw theories around about what happened to the footage, that's mine.

Right, no, you're right. You're right. You got me. You're right. You know what I did? Yeah? I pissed a little bit onto your recorder. Did you?

Yes. Aw. Why would you? That would have deleted all the files on the thing, wouldn't it? No, it wouldn't, because I was very discreet with my dribblets. You pissed on a very particular part Yes. Aww. Why would you... That would have deleted all the files on the thing, wouldn't it? No, because I was very discreet with my dribblets.

You pissed on a very particular part of my memory card, wiping that one... As you said, I know the business. He does know the business. I know the business, and I know the business of pissing on SD cards. You don't know piss business. You just don't know it. Pisky business. Pisky... There The Tom Cruise film.

It's great to remind us that you're a stand-up comedian, Ash. Sometimes with gold like that. Golden showers like that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so what we thought we'd do, dear Cheap Show listener, is kind of recount how it went. A kind of blow-by-blow commentary of what happened

when we got to the back of uh ash's car and we had a nice fiddle about in his boot do you want to have obviously no spoilers yet but before we get into it ash eli do you have any thoughts comments reflections of the on the day i was robbed and you're a cunt do you know what i said you know you know ash didn't know well do you know when i said uh no spoilers and then you go, I was robbed. Everyone's picked up on it by now, haven't they? With your gloating with gloat voice.

I love the way that you're thinking that the official adjudicator who is above the law and above reproach is in some way gleeful that whatever the outcome was, that he's gleeful that whatever the outcome was that he's gleeful that it was such an absolute landslide yes

yeah it's my birthday isn't it I wanted a birthday treat and I got one Paul all I'm saying is you might not have consciously cheated and made me come last in the worst possible way but I think subconsciously,

you kind of knew. You knew what I'd picked, basically. You knew the objects that I'd picked. Because they were all shit. And then decided, again, maybe subconsciously, that they would be in the last three places. Spoilers alert. Mate.

Let's just get into it. Come on, I'm sick of it. I like the way you said you were robbed when you were given cash in your hand by someone. I was robbed. And you had the exact same time. It was a spiritual blow. Like a succubus.

Yes. Paul is very much like a succubus. What? You know what a succubus is? Do you know what that is? I do know what a succubus is. Yes, I do, Paul. Go on, tell me.

It's a mad, crazy, mythical lady beast who sucks the soul out of men. And there's lots of sex involved. Loads of sex. Sucks the cum out of men and then the soul through the cum or something. I don't know. What about these results then, Paul? Right, so let's get on. I'm going to explain now to the dear listener what items were bought for me.

And again, if you go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk, you can see these items. They're on the webpage for this very episode. Episode 92, is it? Yeah, but, no, it's 93, but. Oh, right. But Paul, haven't we already previously in this episode with the live footage described what we were buying? Yeah, but remember dipshit, when I got to the back of the boot, I hadn't seen him before. Okay. So I'm going through that

experience and to recap, alright, to recap. Here are the six items that were bought for me. So when I saw the back of Ash's car, I looked inside and from left to right, there was an attractive, was it China Airlines carry bag?

Yeah, a look-alike bag, yeah. White, blue, red design, beautiful thing. Yes. A strap. And then next to it was, what was it? It was a shitty, awful, almost useless pen knife thing, you know, like a Swiss Army knife, but budget. Swiss Army nice, as you just

said. Swiss Army nice, yeah. It was a lovely silver pen knife with a blade, a screwdriver, bottle opener combo. That's it. But Paul, you had an opinion on it because of something you'd bought previously in the day, didn't you?

Yeah, because I bumped into him earlier on, and I went, look at all these lovely pen knives. And I bought a really, really nice one. Yeah. And then I tried to go back, Paul, and get one of those. So you would have had two of those. But he was closing up, as we know. Everyone was closing up. And I said, where are the pen knives?

And he went in there. And that's the only one I could see I wanted to get one of those so could we rejig maybe as if I had the really good one? No, we have to remember as we go through this you shat the bed when it came to this competition

I have to say I thought the knife was the nice I thought the knife Swiss Army knife knife I thought it was really nice that was the next thing Nice, yeah. It's not as easy as... Swiss Army nice. Nice. Nice. I think that was really nice. That was the next thing. Then item number three was what I, on reflection,

I might call the piece de resistance, was the Hulk Hogan movie on DVD, The Ultimate Weapon. And his gun. Your son's very astute point that, yeah, why would The Ultimate Weapon have a gun? Well, it's because it's like a package, isn't it? The whole package is the weapon. You know, guns only...

Oh, I see. The gun's only as effective as the person operating it, Paul. Ash, Eli brings up a very good point. How do you counter that? What if Hulk Hogan had taken that gun, shoved it up his arse, and blown his racist head off? Then he wouldn't be the ultimate weapon. He'd just be a dead

ex-professional wrestler. Fair point. Fair point well made. It'd be a hell of a way to go out. Honestly, when I think of Hulk Hogan, the first thing I think of isn't even wrestling anymore. It's that horrible, horrible, horrible sex video. Sex tape. Yeah. Did you watch it, Ash?

Oh, I've seen bits of it. I can't tell you. What happened? I didn't make it all the way through. There's a thing about seafood, isn't there? Halfway through sex, he goes, I wish I hadn't eaten all that seafood. Oh, no.

That is truly grotesque. Never mention seafood in a romantic environment. No, unless you're specifically asked to do so by your loved one. I shouldn't have had all those crab sticks. Oh, God.

Oh, dear. I should have said no to that fifth fish cake. Winkles. Oh God, mate. Oh, barnits. Oh, it's really repeating on me. Who wants to smell fish? Someone didn't clean the barnacles.

And then he blows his prawny load all over its head. All over her hairy crown oh dear oh one star Tartar sauce right I won't listen I won't have tartar sauce

dumped down here or put down because it contains diced gherkins. But anyway, that was item number three, the Hulk Hogan DVD and it's inspired us to maybe watch it one day in a very blatantly obviously ripped off Red Letter Media's best of the worst

episodes that we all do on Cheap Show with its own interesting Cheap Show tang. I can't wait. Would you like to be in that episode, Ash? Yeah, I can't wait. I have to be on that episode, I think. Well, you're not gonna. Yeah. Should Eli, actually, Eli makes all decisions

like that when it comes to guests. Eli? Yes, absolutely, Ash, yes. Alright, you're in. Wasn't expecting that, thank you. Alright, item number four was an interesting gift, well, choice, I suppose. It was 18 magic tricks previously on sale in Next.

Lovely item. You see, you know what I will say? I have investigated these items since the recording. And for your money, but 18 magic tricks, not bad value. There's some good things in there. And Eli, had I been, you know, armed with that knowledge, maybe the scores would be different. Really?

Yeah. I told you. So are you saying that they weren't, it wasn't like a load of card tricks. There were actually quite a few to do with the actual props. Yeah. Little props and things like that. Cause you were saying sometimes,

don't you get it where sometimes there's like six tricks and then it says, go online and here are some other things you can do if you're a magic. Like those Marvin magic sets do a lot of that. Here's a fucking barcode. Go to the internet, you cunt. Okay. So anyway, that was the next one. I will bear that in mind,

but I will stay true to the original findings of the recording. Fair enough. Item number five was perhaps the most pathetic choice of the evening. Boiled sweet made of glass. See, I don't think you gave this enough credit at the time.

No, I gave it more than enough. I know that you think it was rubbish, but the workmanship in it was beautiful. No, I disagree again. I think it looks like gash. It does not look like gash. What kind of gash have you been looking at? Ones that look like a glass-boiled sweet.

Right. Like no gash I've ever seen. I would argue that maybe time has been cruel to it, you know? And maybe a lot of the paint in its luster has gone. Yeah. But the one you offered to me was just pathetic. Right. And then finally, we had an interesting choice,

a slightly scary choice on reflection, child cutlery. Oh. A box featuring a fork, a spoon, and a knife, and then a lovely little poem behind said knife and fork. And spoon. And spoon, which were, I think, cheap metal painted silver or painted with metal. Yeah, very cheap.

Very cheap, nasty thing. The kind of thing where once your kid's had a bowl of porridge, it looks like she's been eating out fucking unicorns. It's just metal all over her teeth. I shouldn't have described a kid eating out a unicorn. Are we allowed to mention that I looked up on eBay and it is actually worth triple what was paid for it?

Did you? Yeah. How much was it worth? We'll get to that maybe on the reveal, but the poem on the back, hidden behind the knives and forks and spoons, was Each summer night, when the moon is bright, and the elves and the wood folk play, they form a

ring, and dance, and the woodfolk play. They form a ring and dance and sing until the break of day. Now eat your fucking porridge and shut up. Shut your fucking mouth, you. Or else the goblins will come and eat your fucking feet in the night. How do you like that then, you cunt kid? Yeah, woodfolk with their fucking hollow

faces coming at you. Yeah, coming at you with their gnome-like fucking visages. The insect wings of the tinkerbell wasp or the toothy tooth into the little child's I'm sorry I was just sitting back enjoying the blade the blade

yeah and so on so that was the final item the ever so slightly creepy vintage knife and fork set. From the 30s, from the 30s no less. It was very not in condition, I will say that. I will say this at this point, you did

buy a fourth item, didn't you? You bought those little toy cars. Three toy cars for a quid. I wish you'd put them instead of the... I think I talked you out of them. Was that for the knife you were going to replace with or the glass suite? The glass suite. I did, I talked you out of them. Was that for the knife you were going to replace with or the glass suite? The glass suite. I did. I talked you out of it. I hate to

talk you out of it. I have to say one of the cars was a truck, an Araldite truck and the other one was a hovercraft. A fire rescue. A hovercraft. And then Ash said why would you

why would you need that if you're on the water no I didn't talk like that I didn't have an injury we've got an impression for Ash now what is all that about dude and I explained to him

it was if a boat was on fire very salient point. A fire rescue hovercraft with no discernible fire putting out equipment on board. Yeah. So, there are the six items

and here's how I rank them. I believe I started with the worst item, which was the boiled sweet, which I thought was absolutely bloody, awful, shit, pathetic. And it belonged to... Me. It was my one, yeah.

And you paid, what was it, a pound? 50p. 50p. I still think you wasted that money. Well, it was a very nice thing, and I'm into Paul just because you don't have taste. It's not my issue.

No, Tastemate is not buying one glass boiled sweet. If it was a bowl of glass boiled sweets, that's exciting. Why? Because there's a different pattern. More is more, is it, for you? That's just how crude

you are. If I had a shit, if I bought a shit, More is more, is it, for you? There's more variety. That's just how crude you are. Oh, fuck. If I had a shit... This is why we can't go on bargain on stuff. If I bought a shit, yeah? If I bought a snow globe with a shit in it... Yeah? And you said, oh, that's not very good,

and then I bought a whole truck of them... Then that's better. I'd rather have a load... No, it's not better. It's much worse. No, I'd love to have a load of snow globes where the central motif was a curled up traditional poop. I'd like to see that, actually, having just thought of it.

See? There we go. I'd like the colour of the snow. Would it still be white or would it be a poopy? No, yellow. Yellow. All right, okay. We'll work on it in our next production meeting. I think the merch, that could work as merch. The cheap show bangers and mash globe. I agree. Anyway, that was the as merch. The cheap show bangers and mash globe. I agree.

Anyway, that was the worst one and you pay 50p. Then the next one I chose as a most next shit was the pen knife. I just didn't like it. I wasn't impressed. It was basic. It was boring. It lacked finesse. Very, very harsh.

Very harsh. I think it almost reflects the person who bought it that's just my opinion of course you're trying to goad me so I say you're a cunt Paul or whatever but you know what you are, you don't need me

they don't need me to say it do say it I like hearing it though well I can't summon it, I can't get my Rage Hard on here. I'm tired. Every time you call me a bad word, I get a full-on wacky chub-chub. It feeds my Frankenstein.

Paul, have you got... Sorry, Ash, have you got anything to say here? Oh, is that you? I liked it. I really liked the penknife. I thought the engraving on it was nice.

It looked classy. It was a bit grubby. Don't get me wrong. It was a bit grubby.

Very grubby. I really liked it. Well, I said it was £2. How much did you pay? £2.

Yeah, it was £2. And I knew it was £2 because all the penknives were £2. And the really good one that I got was £2 because all the pen knives were £2 and I bought the best pen knife

and the really good one that I got was £2 turns out Paul's got a voice as well does Ash sound like a British Scooby Doo yeah Yeah. Rice roll ragi? Yeah. It's great. Thanks for having me on the podcast, guys. It's our pleasure.

Paul, could you just do your Scooby-Doo impression, but as if he's getting, like, fellated. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on. Ro hang on hang on yoinks yoinks that's not no

that's the other guy Shaggy's watching Shaggy's watching they do everything together they do they fucking do as well don't they so yeah

the next thing the third thing, the third thing was the magic set. And I put that in third place. I would say now in retrospect, a little bit erroneously. I think on reflection, I might have swapped that round.

Well, Paul, you didn't have time to inspect it fully, did you? You just assumed it was going to be of a lower quality than it was. And I think it was chosen because cynically, I've been talking about my love of magic sets on the show and I just presumed it was a low, it was a cheap shot

to just go for that part, you know? That part of my body. So you're the judge and we're not allowed to get things that you would like? No, because I'm objective. I'm thinking about how wisely you spent your money. I kept forgetting to pander to Paul. That was probably I thought my biggest weakness, but it turned out

to be my biggest strength. Yeah, I'd agree. I'd agree. Because I would say I would probably swap that now if I was going to again with the knife and fork set. So that would have put that... I mean, you still would have lost, Eli. Let me stress that. I would have got

another one point basically, wouldn't I? Yeah, but you would have been ever so slightly less of a horrible failure. But just to confirm, you aren't doing that in retrospect? No, I'm not. I'm keeping to the original score. So strike all of that, listener, from the record. Yeah, it is not to be considered during the final analysis. Okay.

Right, so then we went on to the next three. Obviously, now we can all agree they're all Ashes, and I believe Ash almost knocked it out of the park. I think what I put in fourth place was the Child's Cutlery. I didn't like it much, but it was a certainly interesting buy. Ash, what drew you to it? I just thought the packaging was brilliant. I like the fact it was still in very good nick.

Not bad, yeah. And I love the terrifying sort of little child's face on the front. I really enjoyed that. It's just like this sort of dead-eyed, soulless child. She's screeching, isn't she? It looks like she's in some kind of rickety. She's going... Yeah.

Yeah. Eat your greens. I think I also really enjoy the cheapness of it, because it was from Sheffield. You'd think they'd have just made it out of steel. Yeah, stainless steel. That was old Sheffield, wasn't it? What is the connection between cutlery and fairy folk?

Answer me that. No, I think it's more of a children's thing. Back in the day when that was made, fairy tales and stuff were still cool with kids, you know? If you want kids to eat food, stick something on their cutlery. These days, you put a Peppa Pig on it or something. Yeah, Rastamouse.

Or a Thomas the Tank Engine. It's not so much Rastamouse. It should be Rastamouse. I don't know if he's as popular as he was. Anyway, so I gave that It's fourth place position The next one I chose as the second

The second most top best Was Hulk Hogan the ultimate weapon But maybe I was just giddy with the idea Of sitting down and watching a good old fashioned American action movie starring The Hulk Hogan himself What's his real name? Barry Skidmarks.

No wonder he changed his name. It's not. It's Gary Skidmarks. Perhaps it's Henry Fish. Chad. No. His name is Terry Jean

Boella. Oh, really? Terry Gene Bolea. Oh, really? Terry Gene Bolea. Or Bolea. B-O-L-E-A. Bolea? Yes. That sounds like a disease. That sounds like a disease, doesn't it? He sounds like, oh, I've got a horrible case of Bolea the other day. Should have eaten all those crab sticks.

The fish has made my belia go right off He's an American Semi-retired professional wrestler Actor Television personality Entrepreneur And musician And many regard him as the greatest professional wrestler of all time

Hang on Musician That's what it says Yeah he had some singles didn't he Yeah I shouldn't have eaten the'm gonna, I shouldn't have eaten the fish. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't have eaten the fish. Oh, I'm gonna blow my load all over

your belly. Shouldn't have eaten the fish. Who was filming that video? It's complicated, but I don't know all the details, but basically it was kind of like a set-up. The woman he was banging was the husband of the guy whose house it was who set that camera up. It's very complicated, but it's something like that.

It was a honey trap sort of thing. I think so. But then it all got out of hand and, you know, the whole Gawker trial. And because they released that footage and it all got leaked. And, oh, dear. It's a complicated story, ladies and gentlemen. Oh dear. It's a complicated story,

ladies and gentlemen. So, all you need to know is that the best film ever made is No Hold Barred with Hulk Hogan because you'll never see anything fucking like it in your life.

So, the final piece, the number one winner of it was the China Airlines bag. It was just a great find,

a great price, a little bit grubby, I grant you. I bet it's not grubby anymore. It was just a great find, a great price, a little bit grubby, I grant you. I bet it's not grubby anymore though. It was the most expensive. It's still grubby, it's just sitting in my room in a heap of shit. Great. If it's got the bold sweet in it and my penknife. Yeah, it's like

the victory holding your failure inside. Eli demanded it as soon as he saw it, but to be honest, I bought it with Eli in mind. And then as soon as he saw it... The other thing, Ash, you were very prescient. You were very prescient, Ash, weren't you? Because you said, I think

that Paul is going to give this the top honour. And he did. And also, the other interesting thing is it was the most expensive item, wasn't it? Yeah. It was £5, was it? Yeah, it was £5 was it? Yeah, £5, yeah. Worth it. Worth it. It's a lovely thing.

Maybe you could have haggled him down to I reckon at least £4. I mean I couldn't have haggled him down because I cannot communicate with people in any kind of level so it would have been far too difficult for me to have said, excuse me, would you take £4? But your son was there.

Your son was there. You could have gone... Got him to do it? Cry? Go, come on, son. Cry for daddy. The guy I sold it to me also accused me of being with the tax office because we were recording.

You've got that kind of vibe, mate. Yeah, he was like, are we some sort of tax inspector or something like that? And I went, no, recording a podcast. So he looked at me like, what are you talking about? So that's how it was in the end. Ash won outright. He won, what, with six, five, eleven

points. Fifteen points altogether. Well done. Fourteen. And then Eli got six. Yeah. Yeah? I got 1, 2, then 2, and then 3. 6, yeah. Yeah, and he got

4, and then 5, and then 6, which is 15. Again, so, Ash, how did it feel to win your first car boot challenge? I was really excited, but I have to say, Eli was a great sport. He gave me so much information.

No, he wasn't. On the way there. He did, actually. I will be fair. He was a bit giving. A bit too giving, maybe. I just think it's about the entertainment value at the end of the day.

And, Paul, your pettiness and your subconscious hatred for me. You're inbred. Almost, you know. He's not inbred. I'm not inbred. No, it's an innate hatred for me. You're inbred. Almost, you know. He's not inbred. I'm not inbred. No, it's an innate hatred for me.

Your unconscious bias came out here. Maybe it's the fact that I knew Ash would make an effort, because he always likes to try and do good on this show. And you just turn up and go, I'm Eli Sheldon. I do whatever the fuck I want. Everyone will love me. You're great.

Oh, and Eli's got a voice as well, it turns out. Oh, Eli's got a voice as well. Eli's got a voice as well. So, Paul, can I make a request here? Can I make a request? Can I be the judge next time, please? Yeah, of course. I definitely think that's fair. Can I make a request

that, what? Can we get there, can I be on it A and B, can we get there like more than 20 minutes before it's closing? Mate, I was so disappointed about that though. Yeah. Because, okay, it started at 6. Well, I didn't expect them to fucking close up around midday though. It said till 3, but that's just what they put on the

docket, mate. You know what I mean? It's like these people are the kind of perverse people who, on a Sunday, will get up at five in the morning and then drive an hour somewhere and sell shit out of their boot. They're not hanging around in the afternoon. I once did a car,

well, whatever they call it, a car boot sale in America, and we got there at five in the morning. We had this big van full of stuff we were going to put out in front of our stall. The minute the door opened up up four other competing tables jumped into the back of our trucks was like torch lights and it looked like the fbi were raiding us they're all going oh what have you got here what have you got there oh my god i'll give you ten dollars for that so they could then sell it for 20 on their stall two tables down you know it's yeah they're fucking animals

it's like that scene in aliens you know where know, where it's like, they're underneath us, man. They're coming through the walls. All that shit. That's what they're like. They're all... Right, we're raggy. That wasn't me, listener. That was Paul.

So, Ash, congratulations. You earned your win. And, Eli, I know, you know, you did think you tried your best and that's important i love the sweet right good well obviously you sound like you're in quite a lot of uh pain right now so i think it's time to wrap up this edition of the cheap show so thank you again ash and eli for joining me on this adventure at Trumpington Park and Ride car boot sale. Possibly the most anticlimactic car boot sale

I've ever been to in my life. I loved it. I climaxed. Well, in front of your son. It's a very close bond you have. We went to a Waitrose. Right, well then, let's just wrap this up. www.thecheapshow.co.uk for pictures and videos to accompany this episode.

We're on Twitter, at The Cheap Show Pod. I'm at Paul Gannon Show. Eli is... Eli Snowid, spelled E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. And Ash is... At Ash Frith. And he also has a pod. What is it called?

It's the Pranks and Firth Podcast. You can find it everywhere. Yes, and in terms of our patrons thank you also very very much if you'd like to give and you don't already go to patreon.com

forward slash cheap show give a little or give a lot whatever you do we hopefully will repay you in kind and what do you mean we're on twitter do you mean section

I'm going to wang how do we repay them in kind Paul like give the money back what does that mean? I don't know what that means. We repay you by just paying it back to ourselves. We'll send it back in a couple of years. We'll just send it back to everyone.

Because there is a fee, isn't there? There's a processing fee. So ultimately, you're going to make a huge loss. Depending on a very specific set of circumstances, I will wank them off. Come on. Why are you going there?

Why? Well, you have a Nuzzleman thing. I've got nothing, so I'll be the wankerer. You've got nothing. I'll be the wankerer. Horrible. Horrible Patreon. I won't wank you off.

It's a horrible tier on Patreon. No, I won't wank him off. I'll go to the house ofank him off. I'll just, I'll go to the house of that chosen patron and I'll just knock on the window and they open the curtains and I'll just do the wanker sign on their face

and then run off. That's not as good as the nuzzle, man. Well, sometimes I might use both hands. What's the nuzzle? What's the nuzzle? I will be full of rep rubbing my Johnny Tum Tum.

It was a very special tear, Ash, where I would oil my beard up, go around the patron's house and just leave a little mark so they know that the nuzzle man cometh and the nuzzle man... How much did they have to pay? A lot.

It's a secret. It's a secret. It's a specific amount. But we don't tell them what it is. Oh, okay. But I will give wanks to anyone who donates money. I will just randomly pull your name out of a hat and I will leave my mark on your doorstep or door handle,

depending on how I'm feeling and how good my aim is. So that's it, I think. This is another cheap show. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for listening spread the word if you can if you're on iTunes why not leave a review

that helps but if you don't share and enjoy I've been Paul Gannon and my co-host has been Eli Silverman that's me here Eli Silverman

Ash Frith I've really enjoyed the fact that when we recorded this live Eli then piped up how angry he was that I was named as a host of the show he's still angry about it as a host of the show.

He's still angry about it as well. Yeah, that was terrible. It said, Cheap Show is hosted by comedians Paul Gannon and Ash Frith. And also Eli Silverman pops along occasionally. Yeah. Brilliant. I kind of wish I'd written that specifically, but no, no, no. It was too good. It's like when Pat Sharp called you Ellie.

It was beautiful. I'm trying to finish the fucking episode. I know, but it's for you that I'm remembering this. Also, the latest episode of the Cheap Show magazine is out, and there's an exclusive Warts and All interview with me in it. It's not out yet, but yeah, it will be with you in it. For the patrons. You did our first nude photo shoot, didn't you? Yeah shoot yeah yeah well god if anyone's listened to our podcast that's that that's happened we had a

fan drew me and justin pants having sex it was awful it's i i expect to see that in the post on my birthday post haste so i could jolly my roger and spaff my load can i be one of the first to say paul for in a couple of hours, happy birthday. Welcome to being 40. Thank you. Thank you. And, Ash, would you like to say happy birthday to me? No, I think birthdays are just arbitrary nonsense.

You're fucking dead to me, mate. You're fucking dead to me. Happy birthday. All right, mate. Bye-bye. I'm Ash Griff. And I'm Paul Gannon. Fucking hell,

this show's got an attitude problem. Bye. I love you both.