Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 3/18/17 Jeff Fisher Show Hr. 3: We're Gonna Color

Episode Date: March 18, 2017

Americans like sex, a new coloring book is raising eyebrows, Tomi Lahren appears on "The View" and a round of Is This Real?Follow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALike Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea, of governments for centuries. You need to speak to Gold Line right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding

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Stand clear. Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Attention. Welcome to the broadcast, my friends. Welcome to the broadcast.

888-903-33 is the phone number. If you wish to participate, Lawrence Jones is standing by to take over to the helm immediately following this broadcast. And then Mike Slater, Joe Paggs, all rounding out your Saturday on the Blaze Radio Network. Sundays, you get a little David Barton, Bill Handel, Jackie Daley. And then Monday through Friday, we're right back at it again for you.

Live. You know, for the most part. Hey, you know for the most. We're live Monday through Friday until we're not. And then we're live and then we're not again. So that's my lineup. You're welcome. You can follow me on Twitter at Jeff EMRA.

Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio, Instagram, at Jeff EMRA. And I have failed you by not going to see what my actual Snapchat is. But I believe it's Jeff EMRA. Hold on a second. Hold on. Hold on. I have to know. I know I have a Snapchat because my kids are constantly,

my children are constantly playing with a stupid thing with their filters. Look at this. We put horns coming out our butt. Can we take a picture of it? Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Ha, ha, ha. And there's flowers coming out of my ears. There it is, Snapchat.

Log in. How can I log in? I don't even know what it is. Username. Okay, let's try at Jeffie MRA. At Jeffie. I'd be able to type It'd be dangerous

FF You know I put on a Otter box Shield glass on my phone Which works great But when it gets cracked You know you have to replace it

Just letting you know The main crystal on your phone doesn't crack So it's good You keep the phone However You still have to replace the outer box When it gets cracked

Otherwise you can't type the way you normally would type. You have to pass. Okay, password. What would be my password? M. O-Z-Z-85-3. Amazingly, that's not the password.

It's got to be at Jeffrey. That's got to be it on my Snapchat. So you can Snapchat me there. I'll have my kids tell me what it is today. Come on, log me in, what is it? And then I'll have it, okay? So I'll have the filter for you then. So we are fascinated.

We cannot, and I say we, it's more me, really, but we in America are just fascinated with sex. We can't get enough. And I, most of the time in my life, I'm like, and? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I made money as a... I probably shouldn't tell that story.

When I was about the age of my youngest son now, I needed to have some sort of income. All right? Now, being an entrepreneur that I am, you know me, you think of Jeff Fisher, you think it would be entrepreneur. I know I think of manure, but I like to put something in front of it.

And there was a friend of mine used to deliver newspapers in the neighborhood, and he would pick up the newspapers behind this drugstore every day. Well, once a month, the drugstore would throw out outdated pornography magazines and outdated cigarettes. Okay? We lived like kings. We lived like kings. And, you know, I may have sold a few of those particular items. for some money so I had some spending cash?

I mean, you know, what are you going to? You're going to smoke all the cigarettes and look at all the porn? No. Well, you do look at the porn. Don't get me wrong. What do you don't? I mean, after a while, you're bored with that. So we're, I mean, we've been fascinated with sex forever here in America.

There's no question. There's no question. So when you read articles about if you want a promotion, have daily orgasms. New study reveals regular sex. sex makes you more productive, better at your job, and more likely to move up the ladder. Okay. Okay. New study.

Teens. Opting for porn. It's less risky than actually having sex. And then you want to tell me that the robot lady that wants to bury the robot is crazy? I think not. She's, we can't handle human touch anymore. No human touch. If you sleep naked tonight, it's what you need to do.

It's beautiful. The effect will have it on your body will be wonderful. Yeah, I'll be cold. Okay. I'll be cold. The key to better sex? Circumcision. Men who haven't gotten the snib should consider it if they want to improve their performance in bed.

Are you kidding me? as an adult male, no thank you. No, thank you. Millions of adult men are being urged to have circumcisions. You know what? No, thanks. I'm good. Now, I get the whole thing because you haven't done,

if you're circumcised, and I understand the process. And you do it as a little baby. It's a little painful. And the baby tends to, you know, scream and holler. Think about how you're going to scream and holler as an adult. As a baby, we overload. That's just a kid crying.

Let him cry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know we cut your thing. Sorry. I know we cut all that skin off and it's bleeding, but don't worry about it. Just cry it out. Your little baby, we don't care. And we like to be able to say, oh, yes, he just got circumcised, leave him be.

Oh, did he get the clip? Yeah. But as an adult, no, thank you. No. No. Now, according to the United Nations, and God love them, I mean, they just, we want to live by what they say. It's going to save lives. It's a health crisis.

So even though there is discomfort for the most sensitive regions of the body, severe pain is rare and it needs to be done. Pain is mild to moderate after. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right. Listen, what I'm going to do is I'm going to stick this knife right in your eye. Now, some people have said that they didn't even feel it.

Some people have said that. So, hey, you should be fine. No, thank you. No. No, if you are an adult. I mean, if you, look, if you want to, if you decide as an adult, you know, I got nothing to do this weekend. I should get circumcised. You know, bless you.

Bless you, my son. Bless you, my son. But if you ask me to decide, you know, Jeff, you'd be a lot better circumcised. I would say no. I would say no, no, you know what, you just, I'm good. I'm good. Because I know that, you know, if you have any work done, that whole area, it's a little bit more than moderate pain, moderate discomfort.

It's, it hurts. It hurts. And so when the doc comes to you and says, you know, a lot of men are really thinking about it. And they really, it's upping their sex game. I mean, forget the UN, right? I mean, that's what it's all about. You know, it's more sensitive. And you could really satisfy,

and you'll be able to satisfy and be satisfied better. Oh, really? Yes, it'd be great. And your ability to perform will be better. It'll be just be a wonderful thing. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I'm good. How about you keep that little snip-snip thing to yourself?

Because I felt bad enough about the baby. You know, I feel bad enough about the baby. I really do. And then you get some docs who I've seen, not that I've seen pictures, but you see some docs that don't do it right. And then you may have to go back and get it fixed later. Ugh.

I mean, what is that? Doc says I got to get it fixed. Nope, I'm fine with it just the way it is. Thanks. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher's Show. The Blaze Radio Network. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political

interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation in growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold. Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline.

And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases, so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out. of buying gold is right for you. Call Gold Line. 1-800-913-4653.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Get out. I know you've heard this before. Get out. I don't care. Leave it open. Leave it open. Oh, no, don't leave the door open.

I won't know what to do. I mean, first of all, coming up after this broadcast is Lawrence Jones. and his show is noon to 3 Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network. He gets here and he putses around and then he gets cocky and he starts thinking, oh, if I just talk a little bit more, it gets more promotion because Jeff will put me on his show. So people will know about my show. I tell them already, Lawrence, about your show.

There's no need to come in and try to horn in and get promotion and try to people. You know, we understand you're on the air after this broadcast. And doggone it, it's good, too, because, man, what you said last week was It was great. We all listened a lot. So one of the things that I haven't had a chance to get to that I'm looking forward to getting for the kids is the coloring book, Tony the Tampon.

Man, are we going to have some fun this weekend? I'm going to go out looking for it and the kids and I are going to get down and get the crans out and color together. It's the Tony the Tampon book that teaches, Hey, men get periods too. Oh, man. Don't they?

Now, originally, you say, well, no, they don't. No, they don't. Well, haven't you ever been told, yes, they do? Haven't you ever been, seriously? You know, you look at me like that like I'm crazy. Haven't you been with your girlfriend or your wife? And they tell you, oh, you're their time again. Their time.

See, I told you, you get one too. They've lived with each other long enough. I mean, really? You never had that happen? Now, I will say that I don't know that I want a coloring book teaching my kid that. First of all, I've got to find the actual coloring book here, Tony the Tampon. The Adventures, I'm sorry, the Adventures of Tony the Tampon, A Period Coloring Book. A lot of people are saying, hey, this is child abuse.

I say, no, come on now, stop. It's a coloring book. teaching children that even men or boys can have periods is scientific malpractice. Okay, Doc. Come on. Now, the adventures of Tony the Tampon is being marketed as a way to smash the taboo about periods through the eyes of a fictional character. 20 hand-drawn pages. Tony's adventures with friends.

And I bet you he's got some great friends. Tony the Tamp. Tony, they'll look, there's my friend. toilet oh boy come on oh look there's my no i don't even want to stop i got to stop i got to stop thinking about tony the tampon friends because they there's i haven't seen the actual coloring book yet but i can come up with some pretty good friends i want to do it now let's just talk about the person who created this clever if you know someone who looks like a man has monthly menstruation period. That person is really a woman.

Well, that would be a perfect description. Oh, what? Yes. She authored my parenting experience runs all over the map. I'm a mother of a birth daughter. I'm a mother of a

birth daughter. I have cared for several foster daughters, some of whom were pretty disturbed. But you're not disturbed at all, Tony the tampon coloring book. There's nothing to help explain anything.

There's a cleverer since you wanted to create an interactive and humorous way to normalize menstruation. Bright. And if there are nothing, normalizes menstruation like laying down on the floor and coloring with the kids. The Adventures of Tony the Tampon. Come on now. Are we really that far along? Really? Okay.

We have time for a couple. I've got a couple of you decides. I've got a couple of you decide whether what you think or not, all right? You decide what you think. First, there's a story about a girl who I believe the story cannot be true. This cannot be a true story. A pregnant 19-year-old Texas woman fatally struck by a train while having photos taken of her on the tracks trying to get her modeling career. I don't think it's real.

Okay, that can't be real. Can't be. She's 19. All right. She was standing between two sets of tracks. So she's getting her picture taken according to the story. She's standing between two sets of track. And she says, oh, here comes a train and steps to the other track. But another train was coming on those tracks.

And that's the train that hits her? That cannot be real. I mean, the photographer should be held for manslaughter. If that's actually, if that's a real story. Now she's 19, she's already got a kid. She's got a seven-year-old son. Right? I'm the father of a seven-year-old son.

Oh, no, that's not her. That's her fiancé. But she doesn't have the seven-year-old kid. I was thinking, she had a kid when she was 12? No, that's her fiancé. So the boyfriend, 25, is going to be a dad again because he's already got a seven-year-old. And congratulations to you.

But, I mean, I'm sad if this is actually a true story, but I don't it cannot be true. It can't be. The photographer or the person getting their picture taken isn't standing in two tracks going, oh, here comes a train, let me step out of the way, and then I'll step in front of another train. That's a cartoon, man.

That's not real. That's not real. And perhaps, perhaps if this is a true story, she said that she went to college, but she wanted to put her education, education on hold to begin modeling. Perhaps.

This is just me. She may have not wanted to put her education on hold. Because if that's a true story, she needed some more education. Okay. I mean, if it's true, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for the family's loss. And I'm sorry. But I just, I'm not buying it.

I do not buy that. It's true. Oh, look. Look out, here comes a train, and you step off that track into another oncoming train? That's a cartoon, man. That is not real. Stop it. That is not real.

How much time do we end? You decide. Well, leave a minute. I don't have time for my other, you decide. So I have another you decide we'll get to before the show ends. But that one right there, you decide whether it's real or not. I mean, if it's real, it just can't be. I won't buy it.

I won't believe that it's real. I won't. And if it's true, the photographer should be, the photographer, come on now. Look out, here comes a train. Oh, let me move out of the way. Oh, there's another train coming from the other direction. I can't be real. It just can't be.

I can't. Step this way. Step this way. The trains are coming. Trains, plural, are coming. Step this way. I'll just back off into another train. No, that's a cartoon.

Sorry. I don't buy it. I don't. I don't believe that it's real. I don't believe it. You know what I believe it was more real? Tony the Tampon. The Jeff Fisher Show.

The Blaze Radio Network. Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. I was just told a story about someone who sent in a resume for a job at a radio station and spelled disc jockey wrong. That tells me that the train story is probably real. all right and I now I might want to change my opinion on whether the train story is actually real.

I was also given in the break, Tony the Tampon coloring book. I thought, is it only these pages? Is it only these pages? The Tony the Tampon? There's more of them, right? There's like 12 or something like that? Yeah, okay.

So I've got only, I wasn't good enough for the entire coloring book. You just printed out the four pages. That's it? I mean, thank you. but why not all of them? I mean, why not do a complete job? Thanks for the help, though. Appreciate it.

We got one Tony, Tony the Tampon coloring book where Tony is the cowboy. Wanted is, I think that, what is that the uterus? So bad. And the next picture is Tony, the tampon

using the maxi pad at the skate park. That is outstanding. And then we have Tony the Tampon in space. This is so great.

I guess those are some sort of blood splats space blood splats. I guess. And then the last page that I got is hashtag period

FOMO at Tony the Tampon. Oh, well, to tweet at Tony. I might have to start following at Tony the tampon. Hey Tony. I'm having a party at my place. Want to come? Tony answers, I wish, but I can't. I'm on duty all week. Stop it. So what does Tony the tampon have to do with males having menstruation? I'm not quite sure. I understand.

But that, I guess, is just me. All right, so another you decide. We had the lady with the train. No problem. If you think it's real, it's real. And I'm sure if it is real, the family is going. Of course, it's real. We lost our daughter, you fat.

Why are you thinking that is why are you making fun of our daughter? Because I'm not making, actually, I'm saying that the person taking a picture of your daughter should be tried for manslaughter. Because if, hey, look out, here comes a train, and the photographer allows your daughter to back herself into another train, someone's at fault. I mean, I mean, I would, personally, I would say somebody's got to pay.

Somebody's got to pay, right? But that's just me. That is just me. So, Tommy Lear. on the Blaze Television Network was on the view

fascinating fascinating a fascinating show of the view let's give a listen you call yourself a conservative a conservative Republican and a constitutional conservative I can't

just a second I can't freaking take the show because these ladies are all of them are agonizing every single one of them and Joy Bejo Oh, I thought she quit for it. She went away. I thought she was going to go work on her comedy act or something.

She's like a hundred. Go ahead. But you also consider yourself pro-choice, which is interesting to me because 68% of conservative Republicans think that abortion should be legal across the board. No, I'm pro-choice, and here's why. I am a constitutional, you know, someone that loves the Constitution. I am someone that's for a limited government,

and so I can't sit here and be a hypocrite and say I'm for a limited government, but I think that the government should decide what women do with their bodies. I can sit here and say that as a Republican and I can say, you know what, I'm for limited government. So stay out of my guns and you can stay out of my body as well. So I think it's You need to go out and speak to women about that. I do. I do every day. And you know, I get a lot of attacks from conservative women as well. You know, I think it's an equal, equal hate from all sides for me. Well, you don't have any. You decide. You decide. That's all. I am, you decide. No, no, no, no, no.

Michael Savage. Michael Savage, radio host. You know him, you love him. God bless him. Wacked out of his crazy mind. He knows it. He knows he is. It's fine.

I listen to Michael from time to time, and he sucks me in, too. He sucks me in because he grabs me in. And then I realize, oh, this is why I like Michael Savage. And then I remember, oh, yeah. About 15 minutes in, I go, oh, that's right. That's right

It's Michael Savage But he got me Right That's what he does Well he was in a conference I'm very sorry to hear this I mean he got into a fight Some guy was

Attacked him outside of a restaurant You know how he always talks about Going down to his little Italian restaurant by himself With him and his little stupid dog And that's all he ever goes with His dog whatever the dog's name is I'm sure it's in the story here

Yeah Teddy He's Teddy Anyway And so he's out, so this guy's been stalking him, apparently, coming after him. And confronts him outside of a restaurant. They get into a fight, get into a scuffle. According to the story, Michael, you know, pushes him off and calls 911. Some guy from the restaurant comes out and tries to help and gets punched.

And they all stuck around to face the police because they're all pissed. That's your fault. He said, no, it's your fault. He said, no, it's your fault. And so apparently this guy has been around keeping Michael in his eyesight. That's unbelievable. You know, I mean, you wonder, the next time the man who runs this joint, Glenn Beck tells me how much money he spends on security,

I'm going to say good, except that I'm not going to say good because I really want to raise. But I'm going to say good, because that is insane. Now, if I saw Michael Savage on the street, first of all, I'd say, Michael, lose the dog, bro. Good to see him, I'll lose the dog. I love you, but dog's got to go. Second, he's like a hundred now, right? I mean, I love Michael, say, I really do, but he's like a hundred years old. You're going to attack Michael Savage?

Right? He lives and says he barely travels. He writes his books. He does his work. radio show. He's like a hundred. You can't walk to the restaurant with his stupid dog and have dinner and walk home without being accosted by some God stupid fan. That's agonizing. That's agonizing. You fans of radio people should know better. Stop it. Stop it. That having been said, I don't live in Dallas. I live in New Mexico. And so if you ever wanted to find me, you can find me in New Mexico.

Okay. And I don't come to the Mercury Studios in Irving, Texas every day. I come to Irving, Texas, New Mexico. And you can't find me there. Okay? There's no way that you can prove that I'm here. I mean, that's sad. Michael, I'm sorry.

I hope you're okay. Apparently he's okay. I did see in one story where immediately they were saying that he said he was okay. That's a bad move. that's a bad insurance move, man. You never want to say you're okay after an accident, after a fight like that. Because your first reaction is, hey, I'm fine, I'm fine. But no.

That should never be your first answer. Never. Because they always comes back to haunt you. Always. Because a year from now, Michael's like, oh man, you know, that fight I got in, I really hurt my neck. You said you were fine. Pay for it yourself.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network. This is the Jeff Fisher show. What did we learn today? Not a damn. Not one thing. We did learn. Okay, the girl on the train tracks.

They got hit. The pregnant girl. Bless her heart. That wanted to delay your education. Probably not the smartest of moves. We found out that it's probably, we know that it's probably real. Although I swear that it's not because it's almost, I mean, it's cartoonish, right? Hey, look out here.

comes a train, step back into another oncoming train. Come on now. Can't be real. Now, you know, people are, yes, it's probably real. People get killed on the tracks all the time, Jeff. That's why the railroad companies tell you, now don't take your pictures on the tracks. I got it. People are still, everybody wants shots of train tracks.

They're cool, okay? Everybody wants to be on the train tracks. I'm guessing that, you know, why don't they just put up like a, the railroad companies, they put up a track for photo ops. Photo op track next to the next to the thing, the crossing thing. So that at least you did, when you hear the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, here comes a train. And you step off into the other side of the photo op track.

Instead of, hey, here comes a train. Oh, okay, let me back up. Boom. And there's videos all over YouTube where you can watch trains hitting animals. Not that I've spent hours as they roll through after deer and moose. And there's a new one. I just hit my Twitter feed the other day from the snowstorm up north as the people are standing on the dock waiting for the train on the legend.

They're all behind the yellow line. They're all there behind the yellow line. But it's all full of snow. And the Amtrak train comes plowing through and plows them all over with the snow from the tracks. Really cool. I mean, I look, I took the train for a long time from Pennsylvania and New York every day. The 601 Express, baby. Trenton to Penn Station.

Three stops, baby. And I love the regular conductor we had was great, man, because he wanted to be there. He wanted to be on freaking time, man. Let's go. And he would get so pissed when if there was a little delay, their Amtrak tracks. in that northeast corridor, inside trail travel, in the northeast corridor. And so the Amtrak trains get the right away. So sometimes NGT, New Jersey Transit has to wait.

You're just so pissed. Apparently there's been a delay. We're going to have to wait here until the Amtrak passes. He would just be, you want to get into Penn Station, man. That's 601 Express. He was ready to rock and roll. Moving down those tracks. So we did.

I don't know what we're talking about here. We have some people quoting some friends of Tony the tampon. First of all, hashtag friends of Tony the tampon. It's Tony with an eye. Okay, it's Tony with an eye. Don't disparage Tony the tampon with that why. But it should be a why because is that where the tampon... Oh, never mind.

It is with an eye, right? It should be... I mean, the eye is. is usually a female, right? I mean, that's what it usually is. But it should be a why, actually. I mean, when you think about it, right? Where does Tony the tampon go when he's working?

Right? So with the help of friends of Tony the tampon, David the douchebag, Peggy, period, Molly menstruation, Gina Never mind I could go into it We can just do your own

Come up with your own jokes Okay Friends of Tony the Tampon Go with your own jokes Now I'm told That the actual The actual Coloring book is on the way

To the studios We are going to have A Facebook Live Coloring Extraordinaire Event with Tony the Tampon We may even You know what

These pages that I have in my hand right now, these four pages, I'm going to be coloring on Facebook live right after this broadcast. Brad and I are going to get together, and we're going to color Tony the Tampa. And I really, I don't know if I want the, I don't know if I want to color Tony riding the pad at the, at the, at the park,

or if I want to, hey Tony, I'm having a party at my place, want to come? I wish, but I can't. I'm on duty all week. Thank you.

Those of you wondering, you know, should I listen to the Jeff Fisher show on podcast? No, you know what you should listen to on podcast? Podcasts that make you think, what if? It's been a fairly quiet week on the farm. We still have a hugely pregnant pig. Every day, this pig just gets bigger and bigger. Ready for download now or later.

Meanwhile, the pig's getting bigger and we're down a couple of chickens. Yeah, oh yeah, that's the other news. We are down to three hens. And guess what? It's free. Check out 40 acres and a fool. Fan, fantastic. 40 acres and a fuel.

And Google play music. Full, fool. Yeah, 40 acres and a fool. I got it. 40 acres and a fool. This broadcast, what they're talking about, though, you're not going to hear anywhere else. It's been a fairly quiet week on the farm. We still have a hugely pregnant pig.

every day. This pig gets bigger and bigger. Ready for download now or later. Meanwhile, the pig's getting bigger and we're down a couple of chickens. Yeah, that's the other news. We are down to three hens. 40 acres and a mule.

That fool. I've got to get that right someday, right? Lawrence Jones is standing by to take over. Facebook Live will be coloring Tony the tampon in moments. I'll go to the Blaze Facebook page. Brad and I'll be coloring Tony the Tampon live. Huh?

Wonder what color will use. Wonder what color will use. This is the Jeff Fisher show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.