Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 3/4/17 Jeff Fisher Show Hr 3: Let's Talk About Sex

Episode Date: March 4, 2017

It's all about sex, real sex, boring sex, virtual sex, married sex and a man loses his penis for not looking at his wife. Colin Kaepernick giving up his kneeling protest now that he needs a job. Reggie Bush's wife just had a kid, and he knocked up a gold-digger who's not his wife and married to another man.Follow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALike Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of government, governments for centuries. You need to speak to Goldline right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold.

Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases. So buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Gold Line 1-800-913-4653. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program. Now.

Stand clear. Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Howdy, welcome to it. Oh, I started an open, man. I almost said.

I'm not even trying. Hi, how are you? How the hell are you? Good to see you. I'm not even trying. Thanks for coming along for the ride today. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network. You can follow me on Twitter at Jeff Emory.

Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio, and, of course, Instagram. Yeah, you heard me, Instagram. At Jeff E.M.R.A. Okay. Now, we have a segment here that I'd like to talk about. I was looking at these stories, and all of a sudden I realized that, hey, they're all about sex. Every single one of them.

I know I'm not talking about the special occult where you, you know, get drunk and have wild sex with ladies at the bathhouse. Although, it's pretty close. Sex is important, too. Okay. I mean, let's be clear. All jokes aside, right? You know I'm right.

And that's why we're going to run through some of these stories here just to let you know what's going on across America. Sexually. Teens and older adults in America are shifting to virtual sex, choosing pornography because it's less risky than actually having sex. Yeah. No kidding. In the study, the porn phenomenon.

And who didn't read that word for word? The only area of growth area why young and older men and women are turning to porn is because they believe a picture or a video is safer than the real thing. Now, while that is true, sooner or later you need a little human contact in your life, don't you? Come on now. I realize that's where we're headed. I know we are.

I know we're going to not have any children anymore. We're going to be dying for the robots to make us have kids. We're going to be dying for, oh my God, those are the people over there that touch other people. Ooh. Oh, we don't want to deal with those people. Go the other way.

Seriously, I know we're headed that way. And I kind of don't blame you. I mean, in virtual reality, everything happens perfectly, right? You don't, you don't get turned down. You don't get said, ooh, no, don't touch me. They're not now.

And ow! Oh, sorry. I mean, you don't get any of that, right? It's all perfect. And it all ends, happy, happy, and then you can go and eat your TV dinner. I mean, it's all good. And so I get it. But we do have to have a little human contact from time to time, don't you think? I think so. But then you have, this is why you have people like the Swedish politician who thinks that people would be happier with sex breaks at work? I could not agree more. However, that's not exactly what he's talking about. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, look, hey, I'm not him.

Now you think to yourself, oh, yeah, sex break at work. Oh, yeah. And I'm thinking about sex break at work with Millie from accounting. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's what you're thinking of. I know. But he's not. He's talking about going home.

He's talking about we don't spend enough time together as couples. So you take a break during the day, go home, have a sack, come back to work. Okay? While that sounds good, I'll grant you. A, what's going to happen is it's going to be Millie from accounting. Okay. Yeah, we went home. Or it's going to be.

Yeah, I went home and I'm having so much fun with my wife. I'm not coming back so you lose productivity. Or you get home and the wife says, yeah, not today. I had too much work to do. I stayed at work. Clean the house. It's a good way to get the house clean, though. You do that, not the wife.

Yep, I'm coming home, honey. Meet you there. Oh, honey, I'm here. Oh, man. You know what? I was on my way out the door and, My boss snagged me and I had a meeting and then I had to do this. I'm so sorry.

You're there? You might as well just clean the house, huh? I'd go over great, I think. All right, I think it would go over great. Why don't you just clean the house, honey? And of course that brings on, you know, everybody thinking that they have great reasons. The ultimate workout happens between the sheets.

Exercise. eyes. So you can read that on your own. I'm not going to go through these 657 reasons that under the between the sheets is great. I think you know most of them. And then you have churches like the North Carolina Church that has some different ways of thinking about sex and relationships. The word of faith fellowship members must follow strict and in this. And the story they consider it unusual rules or risk severe punishment. Yeah. You need permission from leader Jane Whaley and other ministers to get married, and that can

take months or even a year, before the newlyweds, are allowed to have sex. You need permission. and most relationships and marriages are arranged by Whaley and the ministers. So you don't get to choose. A, who you're going to get married and have sex with. B, once they pick Mary Beth, I think we all know what Mary Beth looks like. You can't even have sex with you can't even think, well, okay, well, whatever. I mean, I'm here.

She's here. All right, go ahead. You can't even do that. You got to wait for them to say, go ahead. So on their wedding night, couples are permitted only a godly peck on the cheek. When they get in bed together, they must roll over and go to sleep. Right. Did they check?

I bet you they check. I bet you the church of no sex. What is this called again? The Word of Faith. Word of Faith Fellowship. For all married couples, lovemaking is limited to 30 minutes. No foreplay. The lights must be turned off, and only the missionary position is sanctioned.

Come on now. I mean, I'm all for the lights being off. Trust me. But, come on now. Come on now. Word of, is her name again? Word of faith fellowship. Come on now.

You're killing me. You kill me. And we get this information from former members, big surprise. I'm sure membership is dwindling. Couples need permission from church leadership to have children. Leaders dole out condoms and make sure unapproved women don't get pregnant. That might not be so bad. That might not be so bad.

I mean, how many times have you said to yourself, they let that person have a child? I mean, for real. You walk through the story. You know, you're walking through the store, you're pushing the car, and you're going, holy crap, why did they have kids? I mean, I know they said about me. I know it gets said about me.

I guarantee it. You see me walking around, people are going, oh, my gosh. He has children. I know it's being said, so, I mean, that might not be a bad thing. The former followers said couples violating the rules can be publicly rebuked, subjected to violence

or forced to separate. Word of faith fellowship by messing around, man. We told you turn the light off, do a missionary style, and be done in 30 minutes. I mean, I'm almost okay with that now that I say it out loud like that. It's like, fine.

I don't even have to take 30 minutes. Just turn the lights off, we're done, I can roll over, go to sleep. I'm almost okay with it. But I want to get pregnant. Yeah, no, they said not you. I got to go to sleep. I don't know, whatever.

Is there, make sure when the coffee maker's on and my lunch is ready to go because I got to go to sleep and go to work tomorrow. I mean, I'm almost okay with it, right? No? Not right? Okay. What could happen, though, is, you know, it's possible.

Like a woman in Scottsdale, Arizona has been arrested because, uh, well, they were having sex and he would look at her. And since, I mean, dude, you should have looked. You should have looked at her. Now, I understand the philosophy behind not wanting to look at the girl's face. I mean, you're supposed to, you know, take out the trash.

You're doing stuff around the house, you're working on the car. You're supposed to be thinking about other things. Because then if you look in the eyes, you're done. I got that philosophy. It's over. I understand that philosophy. 100%. But when the female says, look at me, and you don't,

especially if you're this, you know the females that you're with. Okay, we've all been with the females that are with. are, you know, the Joni-Tonies of the world? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's right. Yeah.

The Marys and the Mays. Oh, no, that's not Mary. No, no, no, no. I'm Tony tonight. Yeah, I mean. So when Tony says, look at me, you should probably look. because you end up like when Shania Jones said, look at me, you should have.

You should have. Shanae. I mean, come on. First of all, name Shania Jones, you know. And you look at her, you know she,

I mean, split second, she's off. I have no idea who this woman is. Just looking at the picture. But she decided that you're not going to look at me. I'm getting my knife and I'm going to cut your penis off. Yay!

You wish you would have looked at her, do you? No, you ain't lying. Got up, grabbed a kitchen knife, sliced it up. So, fortunately, I guess, I guess, I guess they got it caught in time before he passed out. I mean, that's doing some serious rehab, though. I don't want to, you know, how's rehab coming?

Fine. Do we need it? No. I mean, come on. Well, thank you. And with Shania calls, I'm coming over. No, you're not. No, you're not.

It does make you wish you to look at her, though, does it? Yes, it does. Yes, it does. And then, of course, we have the reality show dating naked. Now, that's something, you know, we're always told about we should eat naked, right? So we should eat naked so you're actually, you see yourself in the mirror and you go, you know. I mean, first of all, clothes or no clothes.

Oh, I'm looking at me in the mirror. I got it. I understand. But naked, you should. supposed to be able to, you know, if you get naked and you sit at the table with a mirror, even if you don't have a mirror, I mean, you sit down naked at a table. I mean, ooh, right? I mean, you're barely going to, you're either going to finish it and say you didn't care.

Yep, that's me. Bring me another chicken. Or you're going to push it away, right? You're just like, no, thank you. I can't sit here to look like this. Because really, at some point in your life, we talked about this a little bit last week. At some point when you decide, yep, you know, I'm going to be 800 pounds. But really, there is a point when you know you're not going to be the 6, 7, 800 pound person.

But you do know as like it or not. Look, this is as good as it gets right here. You got a piece of this? So when you reach the point of, Look, this is as good as it gets. You're finishing the plate at the table, whether you're naked or not. Here we go. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network.

2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Gold Line right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold.

Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases, so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline, 1-800-913-4653.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Hey, sex is important segment still continues. One, I'll leave you with one final story here. Amanda and Chad both come from conservative religious families. The couple had been in a relationship for eight years. They married when Amanda was only 18 and Chad was 21. They have two sons. We went to the same church.

Our families were friends with each other, so we kind of had that small-town Americana love story, boy meets girl, they get married young, they have kids young. My family life was the definition of traditional. That all changed four years ago after they got married. Chad met a man named Jeremy. Both Chad and Jeremy worked at the church together, and they eventually became best friends.

Then Jeremy fell in love with Amanda. So not only did Chad become friends with Jeremy, so did Amanda. When I first realized I had feelings for my best friend's wife, I knew that it was just something that I had to deal with. the more time I spent with Amanda, the more I realized what an amazing person she is, and I just fell in love. Wanting to come clean to his best friend, Jeremy told Chad that he had feelings for his wife.

This is me now. Usually not a good idea. Okay? This is just me. I would, if you were to say, hey, Jeff, should I tell the wife, or should I tell the husband? I would say, no. but Jeremy would not have that Jeremy would not have that he's telling

Chad his best friend I did not expect what Jeremy it's had said to come out of his mouth said Chad he had no kidding duh he understood what Amanda and I were what our family was

he wanted to join that it did feel in a lot of ways that my entire foundation had been pulled out from underneath me you think however instead of lashing out, he found a deli to deal with it. With the new love triangle.

They formed a relationship that included all three. Falling in love with Jeremy was easy, said Amanda. And while it was and still is scary to fall in love with another man while still being legally married to my first husband, we three have been making it work for the last two years. Now, one of the ways that they've been making it work, and I find this fascinating. That's as if the rest of it isn't. Amanda is a paralegal for the government and the family's breadwinner.

How great is that? These two guys have figured out a way to be with the same woman, and she's the one foot in the bill. That is outstanding. Chad and Jeremy are stay-at-home dad. The relationship is not. not been without his challenges. Chad has his own fears of not being as important to Amanda as he once was, and now that Jeremy is in the picture.

But, hey, we both receive equal amount of time with Amanda. The trio began keeping a schedule one night Amanda sleeps with Chad, the next with Jeremy. On the third night, we all sleep together. They make a point of saying Amanda's in the middle. That would probably end soon. The first three months... I got to tell you. I mean, it's hard enough

getting a threesome. But if you got two guys that could be with one woman and she's foot in the bill, damn. That's genius. The Jeff Fisher Show. The Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show.

All right, so I'm in the break and I'm hearing What's Her Face, Doer Spot for a place for mom. What's your name? I remember her. Silly name. Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, London, Joan. Is that right, Joan London? Yeah. Joan Crawford's dead. And who knows, then the other Joan is, look at her what she says to have sex with her, okay? Because it's off. Having a problem, finding a place for mom. And what's the name of the place? Aplaceformom.com or whatever? I think that's the name of the place.

I think we create a place where Because I already look I already gave a great promotion Saying that I believe that the adult care facilities were actually better than they get the rap for I've already gotten one tweet telling me I'm full of crap That we've put my parents in and out of them and they're horrible Okay Well

Maybe I create a horrible place and just live with it right So you it's cheap Most people you know they don't want to spend the money The one guy's already in trouble. He's siphoning him money. He's lets his dad stay in his own house. He's paying his bills. He takes a couple bucks after paying the bills for hookers and blow,

and they're pissed at him? Come on now. Come on. Dad. There's TV dinners in the fridge. The house paid for. The power's on. Watch a little TV.

You go to the bathroom. You go to bed. I'm taking a little extra on the side here because I'm out of here for a weekend, okay? I'm going to the casino. We got hook. and blow. You're paying for it. Bye.

I mean, that can't be, come on now. So maybe we come up with, you know, like a hole for mom, right? Having a problem paying. You don't have no problem paying for a place for your parents to live. Stop worrying. A hole for mom. I think so. I think that's what I think we're going to create that.

I don't think anybody would be upset about it ever. I mean, this is a stupid morning show bit, right? A hole for mom. And there's, you can write your own jokes on top of it. Okay. I mean, you could just take it wherever you want to take it. I'm just telling you, I'm talking about it there, you know, a place for them to live. Is this thing over yet?

Because I've had just about it. That day is spent. I mean, we've got an earth-sized plans. I don't even know what to talk to you about anymore. Oh, you know, we can talk about a couple things. A, let's talk sports, but sports. sports but sports. Colin Kaepernick has decided

he's got his new manager. He's a free agent now in the NFL. I'm not going to play for the San Francisco 49ers. And he said, hey, his manager came out and said, look, Colin's going to stand during the National Anthem this year. Uh-huh. Too late, Colin. Too late.

I mean, I don't want you to be homeless, but you could stay at a hole for mom. Okay, you could stay there. That's about the best I want. for you. Way too late. Nobody's going to believe you. Good luck. God bless. Now there's probably going to be a team that takes you because that's the NFL. Good for them. They can do what they want. But for you to ever be the Colin Kaepernick that you once were is over, Colin. Don't try to get it back. You're done. Take your big Afro and your Black Lives Matter

girlfriend from New York and do your whole anti-America thing. Go ahead. And how oppressed you are, how oppressed you are that a family actually adopted you and raised you and got you in education good enough to play in the NFL and make millions of dollars. You tell us more and more how oppressed you are, okay? Because your days are done. Nobody believes you and nobody cares about you, except for maybe your Black Lives Matter girlfriend. And I'd be willing to bet that. that she probably doesn't care that much for you. But that's just me. And then I heard O'Pelke mentioned Reggie Bush.

Now, Reggie, you remember Reggie, he's in trouble here, but I remember Reggie he was in trouble at USC. I mean, what's his face left USC? The Seattle head coach left USC after Reggie Bush, because he was given his parents' houses and cars. Reggie was getting cash to play at you. I mean, he paid the bill. He got the Heism a trophy.

right? I mean, he was Reggie Bush. But I mean, that was why can I think of the head coach's name for Seattle? Who was USC's coach? And it doesn't matter. He's the head coach of Seattle Seahogs. And he was the head coach of USC.

And I'm sure that he left on his own. And there was never any kind of thing. I'm just reading between the lines and nothing ever really happened like that. Uh-huh. There's no way that he's. He would just up and leave USC without a better offer to go to the NFL, Seattle, leave. He just had enough.

It was time for him to move on. And it was just that was the time for the decision. Okay. So anyway, Reggie, his wife's pregnant now, but Reggie likes the women. Reggie Bush, he's Reggie Bush, right? I mean, he's been Reggie Bush for a long time. And when you're Reggie Bush, you likes the women. And the women like you.

So he's got the wifebreaker, but he's also now got a girlfriend. Or I should, you know, I call her a girlfriend. Really, it's just a sex mate that claims that she had a kid that is now Reggie's. All right. Now, Reggie gave her $3 million to shut up. Hey Reggie, I think I'm pregnant with your kid. This is Jeff Fisher. Call me.

You give me $3 million. I promise. I'll never talk to you again. Of course. So he gives her $3 million with the stipulation. Look, you don't talk about it and you get an abortion. She agrees. She doesn't have an abortion.

She has the kid and she starts talking about it. Come on now. come on that doesn't make reggie any less of a of a dirt bag i know but i mean he did at least try to deal you know he dealt with it and he's got the wife that's pregnant and i know that there's some kind of there's some kind of good Kardashian rumor with reggie too if i remember if i remember my e-news post newscast history and um and but this girl now this girl what's her name uh I can't think of her silly name. It's the one after Reggie, the girlfriend, or the sex mate.

She, she's married. All right. Now, she is one of the females on earth that say, ooh, a sports star, have sex with me. You know what, if I was a female, if I identified as a female at any time, I might be the same way. Today I identify as a female Hey male sports star

Have sex with me I could do that It's possible Possible But she now is going after Reggie saying you know What's money wants more money Uh

No How about that? How about no And then They're afraid that it's not even his kid by the way Because don't forget Our hey I'm a hot woman

I want to have sex with sports star Sexmate she's apparently had sex with a list of other sports stars. And apparently now that the word is getting out there, hubby is all wound up and wants, you know, they're having problems. I think that's, I don't think that's true. I bet you that's not true. I bet you that's a falsehood to try to make people feel bad for them.

Because if I'm hubby and I know that my wife is out taking care of the business with the sports guys, right? She got pregnant. She got three mill. A million bucks for this kid. I mean, I'm living large. I'm saying, hey, there's a basketball game in town. I'll see you next week.

You know, they're in town for a three-day, for a three-day series. Why don't you head out to the stadium? $3 million for that? Come on. I mean, you get a couple days off. The wife is gone. She comes back.

A few months later, there's a check in the mail for two or three minutes. That's a good life. That's a good life. So, I mean, it's almost baseball season. Don't you have to get out to spring training and make yourself known? Oh, man, it's getting late. Hello. Honey.

I mean, that's good living right there. So Reggie, I don't know what. I mean, he's just got a hard time. I'm the wife's pregnant. He's put some twos times. He's on the tail end of his career, and he was great. He really was. He was great.

You know, I know he wasn't, I guess, he really didn't pay off in the NFL too well, but he was pretty good at New Orleans. He was always fun to watch. But I feel, you know, you can't feel sorry for the guy. He's the one out messing around in his wife. But you do kind of feel sorry for him because he did own up to the fact,

okay, you told me you were pregnant with my kid. All right, so instead of saying, hey, prove it to me that it's my kid, he said, okay, so it's possible that it's my kid. Tell you what? I don't want to have it. I don't want you to be burdened with. it, have an abortion, and here's $3 million.

She said, okay. And now she's coming back on that deal and then expects Reggie to be all mushy, mushy, and say, okay, I'll take care of the kid. No. I got to tell you, no. And if it comes back to his kid, I bet he does. Whether court ordered or not, I bet he does. Because he obviously has, he's got other children, and he obviously paid the money up front that he didn't want the kid, but he has enough money. Trust me.

He's giving this chick three mill to go have an abortion. Hey, Reggie, by the way, did I mention? I'm pregnant with your child. So, call me. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network is the Jeff Fisher Show. I don't know why. I could go into a camping story now, and I was actually thinking about doing it,

But I just, one of the things I like about scout camps, just let me say this to you. One of the things that are one of my favorite things about scout camps. Not scout camp, but just the scout camps in themselves is that most of them, you get there and you go, hey, it's Bill Scout Camp, we're here, yay! And you turn in. And then you drive and the Tarvey Road that you were on stops being Tarvey. And you still have to drive for another 20 freaking minutes on gravel. And bumpy rows where the plows have come.

I love scout camps. Did I mention it? Oh, then you get back there all the way back there where the camp is so beautiful. Oh, man. Look at that. You go down a couple more hills around the point. And you don't want to pull too far off the side of the road because there's some bushes there that have some.

some tongs in them that would give you cut right through rubber, give you a flat tire, there's nothing, no place else. You want to change a flat tire than right there, the side of a mountain overlooking the beautiful lake, though. It's so beautiful. Anyway, so Tuesday night, President Trump spoke to the joint sessions of Congress and, you know, the country. And his ratings were, you know, I guess Trump will tell you,

his ratings were tremendous, but they, you know, they were pretty good. And he was fine. For Donald Trump, for the President of the United States, he was fine. He sounded great. He was found a presidential. I got it. But at the same time in Fort Worth, not a lot of people showed up. Huh.

I wonder why a lot of people didn't show up to the Fort Worth ISD Board of Trustees meeting. On a Tuesday night when the president is speaking. I don't know. I don't know. You figured out. They had a symbolic measure of welcoming and being inclusive for all students and all families, regardless of their immigration status. More than 53,000 Fort Worth students. That's pretty amazing.

More than 53,000 Fort Worth students identify as. Hispanic. That's pretty, that's a big number. That's 63% of the district students. I mean, that's a big number. Now, several people commented. One of my favorite was this man who made a point of how he felt. No matter where you come from, the color of your skin, every child deserves that education. Yeah, you know what? No. You know what? No, no, no. No, no, they don't. I mean, every child, you know, should have it available to them. They don't necessarily deserve it, though. They just don't give it to them.

And that my favorite. This lady could actually be turned into one of my new favorite people in the entire country, because she makes a point that is so, heartfelt and from the gut and tells you exactly how how we should feel and why we should feel that way. Children just in my neighborhood are potentially laying their heads down at night, worried about losing someone in their family to deportation. Wait.

What? What was that baby? Potentially laying... Children, just in my neighborhood, are potentially laying their heads down at night, worried about losing someone in their family to deportation. Maybe you didn't hear my gang story earlier in the name, but children in my neighborhood are potentially laying their heads down on their pillow

and not worried that they could potentially be murdered by illegal immigrants. But hey, This is the Jeff Fisher show Only on the Blaze Radio Network.