Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 4/1/17 Jeff Fisher Show: Life's Secrets

Episode Date: April 1, 2017

This week on the Jeff Fisher Show...- Jeffy goes to the DMV- National Crayon Day - April Fool's Day pranks- Chuck in Florida with weird news- Robots will take over- The secret to long life for menFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALike Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea, of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Gold Line right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by

adding gold. Call 1-800-913-Gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases, so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out a buying gold is right for you. Call Gold Line 1-800-913-4653. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program now. Stand clear. Life signs stable.

It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Hello. Man, has it been a long week? I don't know about you. I hope you had a week that was not or did not feel as long as I felt this one was. Let's just breathe a second and let the oxygen take over your brain. Those of you that follow me on Twitter at JepRA know that yesterday I thought I would do a quick stop at the DMV.

First mistake is never think you're going to do a quick stop at the DMV. You never think that at all. I get there and there's, as I would turn the corner to walk into the office, there's people standing in the hallways. And as I look, oh, this is what I wanted to see. Good. And, you know, I mean, I had the line laughing anyway. So I walk in, I grab number 82. I look down number 82.

No problem. 82. I see the people in line. Okay. I look up at the screen 29. Now, I will say that they moved along pretty good. But, you know, we got, wasn't, wasn't a lifetime in the DMV. However, I discovered a way for you to kind of beat the system at the DMV.

Okay. I'm going to explain this to you, and you can use it like I did and get out of there even faster. Okay? So you go in there and you grab your number, which obviously I had number 82 and I looked up and, you know, 29. I mean, it's just like a stab in the heart. You're like 82 and you're hoping for, you know, 80, even 75 would have been okay. Oh. So people are standing up in the hallways and I don't want to go stand in the hallway. So I just wait a little bit and somebody got called and went up. So I sat down. Now, I witnessed this a couple of times before I implemented my plan.

the girls working, the ladies working, the females, I guess they were females, they were dressed like what I would consider to be a female behind the counter. There were three of them. Look up at the screen behind them, and they see the number that's lit up. And so they call the next one, 30,

and they wait for someone to come up to the window. If no one comes in a fashionable amount of time, they go 30, they call it twice. If no one comes up at a reasonable time, they move to the next one. number, 31, and everybody just sits there with knowing that their number is whatever number they picked, right? They're waiting for their number to be called.

We're like, sheep, sad. So, I watch that, and I'm thinking, well, I'm, I could, I could be 30, right? And then so I thought, all right, I'm going to watch them again. They do it again. They call the next number. and sooner or later, you know, they get to a number that nobody, the person isn't there. Do it again. They wait, the reasonable amount of time, they call it again, you know, 40, 40, 41.

Okay. So, I'm thinking, well, why I can be that number? All I have to do is tell them I'm that number, so I watch what they do. Now, some people go up with their number in their hand, and they hand it to the lady, and she throws it in the trash. I don't even look at it. Other people go up, they don't even, they're not looking for numbers. I don't care.

So she gets to 60, 60, and nobody stands up and I'm thinking, I'm doing this. I don't care. What's the worst going to happen? I mean, seriously, if they kicked me out, I've got to come back Monday, that's what I have a wife for. So, 60, and I figure what you do, and it works. you wait until they're just about ready to call the next number. So you know nobody's there. You know that you're not taking, someone else isn't going to stand up and say,

that's my number. I've got the tag right here. Because if that happens, then you know, then you've got a fight started. If that happens, then you need to go, oh, oh, oh, that's right. You do. Okay, I'm sorry. I was just spaced out. I'm sorry, go ahead.

And you sit back down. Right? I mean, what are they going to do? So just as they're getting ready to call the number, you know, they call the number, 40. They wait for somebody to get up, nobody gets up. 40. Wait for a little while, nobody gets up.

Now, just about as she's ready to call 41, I say, I stand up and I went, oh, 40. Like I've been in a zone. I didn't even realize that she was calling 40. And I walk up to the window. Everybody goes, oh, I just walk up to the window. I have my, I have my 82 in my pocket. take care of my business, I'm out of there.

You're welcome. You're welcome. Okay? So when you use this and you get busted and they throw you in jail for cheating at the DMV, you didn't hear this from me. But I'm telling you, it works. So just remember, you got to let them, you got to let it go through a couple of times. Because, you know, you can't just walk in and walk up.

You got to, you know, sit in the crowd a little bit and, you know, try to be, you know, just part of the crowd for a little while. But when they've got that, I mean, I was 82. And they're at 29 when I walk in. I can't. And what's the worst other than when you walk out and you look at the guy that walked in right with just before you and you look at him and go, see you later. I mean, what's going to happen? One guy, maybe a guy comes up and says, he's not, he doesn't have 40.

He came in with me and I've got 81. Really? What? What? I don't have 40? Oh, man, I don't. I have 82. I'm sorry.

And you sit back down. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. But they don't check. So I'm telling you. You get your number and you got to do it just before they're ready to call the next number so you know no one is there with that number. You let them call it once.

You look around. You just kind of sit there. Wait to see if somebody, you know, if you feel somebody coming up to the window, no. Call it again. You're just kind of sitting there. Remember, you're part of the crowd. 40 She looks back and she's

ready to click it to 41 on that screen and that's when you stand up just before she yells 41 stand up oh 40 oh you've been in that trance up to the window you go you don't even

in fact I believe that you could crinkle up the number and hand it to her and she would just throw it away wouldn't even look at it but that's pushing your luck a little because she might go

Hey, this isn't 40. Sit your big butt back down. So you don't even attempt that. I mean, you might attempt it if you want to have some fun and you've got time to kill. Who doesn't have eight hours to kill it to DMV? So you just keep the number. You don't even give it to them. You just go up and you start getting your paperwork out on the counter.

Get it done. Like you were 40. That's your number. Move on. You're welcome. Now. And you just got it. I'm telling you it works.

I was amazed. I watched it happen. That whole scene of hauling the number twice. Nobody's standing up and they call the next number. And everybody, everybody's just sitting there, I've got 50. I got away until they called 50. They didn't call 50.

They called 33. Nobody's 33. Hopefully 34 is going to come. I've got 50. No. No. That is like someone standing on a street corner with the don't walk sign blinking saying don't walk, don't walk, don't walk, and there's no traffic. No, I'm walking.

I'm sorry, there's no automobiles on the road. I'm going to cross. I can't, I've seen it. I've witnessed it. People standing on a street corner waiting. for the walk sign to go with no traffic on the roads. No.

No. I refuse to be a sheep in this country anymore. You know, at least until I get caught. Here we go. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network.

2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to

diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold. Call 1-800-913-gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases, so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline, 1-800-913-4653. Welcome to the broadcast. 888-903-3-93 is the phone number. You, of course, can follow me on Twitter.

Then I say, of course, because you should be doing it anyway. At Jeff E.M.R.A. Jeff Fisher Radio for Facebook and at Jeff E.M.R.A. for Instagram. So did you celebrate yesterday? Did you celebrate National Cran Day? What? You didn't? Crayola had a big announcement yesterday. I wonder who is responsible for creating National Crand Day.

I wonder who was responsible for creating National Cran Day. Anyway, Crayola, kicking a color out to the curb. Very sad, very sad news on National Cran Day. The Dandelion Cran kicked to the curb. Now they threw him a bone. They threw him an extra color, an extra cran bone by saying, oh, well, we're not kicking him to the curb right just yet. He's going to retire.

We're going to send him on a, you know, a tour. So you're going to get sick of the Dandelion Grand real soon. Every morning show in America. And the Dandelion Grand is here. Oh, it's been a good run. Yep, it's been a good run. I've been, you know, I've been in the box since, oh, since 1990, I think, something like that. Maybe not even that long.

When did the stupid, a dandelion crayon go in there. But he's going to be replaced. They said they had this big thing. I'm going to have this huge announcement. They had giant crayon boxes in Times Square. And yet, then their finishing was, you know what? We're not going to, we're not going to tell you what color it is.

We're going to let you know that it's going to be a shade of blue. A shade of blue. and you get to pick it. Yay! We thought we'd give you a chance to pick a Hugh yourself and nominate it for the new blue. Just choose from the palette below

and hit the submit button. We'll aggregate all the votes and come up with the most popular choices. So you think cool. We get to pick it. How cool is that? No. This vote is not binding.

Crayola is picking its own color blue. and we'll reveal more details in May. Also, since the blues on your screen can produce are not exactly the same as those that can be infused in wax, there isn't a perfect correspondence between what you see in your phone or computer and what your toddler is using to deface the dining room walls, you don't get to pick.

Go ahead and pick, but you don't get to pick. That's nice of them. We are going to do what we want, but we want you to vote. I want to show you this is the most picked color right here. But we like this color better. Now, when you think of it, I know a guy used to work with a hundred years ago. No, it's maybe 50 years ago. He used to think of your little sad things you do in life to make you happy for just a moment.

He used to keep a box of crayons in his drawer, in his dressing room drawer, so that every once in a while or every day or whatever the hell he felt like it, he could bring out the crayola box. sniff the crayons because you like the smell of the crayons. I know. I know. I know. I know. I can think of a lot better things to sniff. But anyway, hey, it is the first time Crailas retired colors.

Now, they've got to be, you think about it. I mean, Creole has got to be struggling a little bit, right? I mean, I don't know. They're in every classroom, I guess, in America. Every kid wants to color with the crans. And we've got 18 billion crans laying around the house. Did you know that when they break you can't use them anymore? I know.

You think, well, no, you can. Jeff, they give you a little sharpener on the box and you can peel the paper and still use them? Nope. Nope, you've got to buy brand new crans. That's a fact. That's how you end up with 18 billion crans in your house. Because as soon as it breaks, we can't throw it away, but we can't use it anymore. We need new crans.

That's a Crayola law. So apparently in 1990 they retired eight colors. Mays, lemon yellow, blue, gray, raw umber, green blue, orange, red, orange yellow, and violet blue. Now they replaced them with vivid tangerine. Oh, and Dandelion. So Dandelion's been around since 1990. He's had a pretty good run.

It's time to retire. Jungle green, Cyrilline, fuchsia, teal blue. Blue, Royal Blue, and Wild Strawberry. Those colors better sweat a little bit. We've kicked the end of the curb. Those guys are on their way out. In 2003, the Crayola's Centennial Celebration.

The company retired Blizzard Blue, Magic Mint, Mulberry, and Teal Blue. Oh, yeah, Teal got the boot first before Tangerine. Oh, I'm so sorry, Teal. Burnt Sienna, I remember this stupid story. Burnt Sienna was saved from retirement. But that's when I found out in 2003. So that's when I found out that the guy worked with a cup of the box of crayons in his drawer. Oh, we're doing a stupid radio show.

The colors in 2003 were replaced with Inch Worm, Mango Tango, Tango, Wild Blue Yonder, and Jazzberry Jam. So I hope you celebrated. I know that just don't break the law. Don't break the Crayola law. You cannot. The only time that you're allowed to use a broken cram is when it's the only color that you need at the time, and there isn't a fresh box of crayons right there. It's the only time.

After that, once they break, you can't use them, you can't throw them away. You have to buy new crans. It's the law. I know. I know. I'm with you. We have the big final four tonight. South Carolina, Gonzaga, Oregon.

North Carolina. You ready for it? I mean, it's exciting news. Exciting news. We had the female basketball NCAA Final Four going on. Oh my God, here in Dallas. We've made $18 billion. Money is falling from the sky because of the female NCAA championships. But if we pass a bathroom bill, that money will stop. It wasn't too long ago. We were told that North Carolina

was not feeling the effects of their bathroom bill and that they were going to stand strong and that's the way it is. And then we find out yesterday, uh-uh, no. Actually, the day before yesterday, North Carolina flipped flopped on their bill because they had to do it by Thursday. It was like their year anniversary or something. And so they flopped and flipped.

And that's so good. The NCAA is so happy. And if it happens here in Texas, they'll have to pull their events. And money will no longer rain from the sky. if Texas, and I'm very sad that North Carolina caved because I was happy they weren't cavey. They were standing strong.

Damn it, they were standing strong. And yet, minority wins again. Take it. So, of course, their comments here in Dallas with the female Final Four, the only reason you even know there was a team of girls playing is because there was a team that had lost in, you know, 11,000.

11 games or whatever. They lost here in Dallas last night. It was very sad. They couldn't pull off 112. So now the big thing, now they're going to have to get a whole new ad campaign for the championship because it isn't Yukon going for their 18,000th win in a row. They can't lose.

They don't lose. Now it's, you know, A couple of teams nobody cares about. But money is raining from the sky. But if we tell people that they have to use the bathroom of the body part that's on them, money will no longer rain from the sky from the NCAA. I'm going to tell you something. Texas better hold strong.

And tell the NCAA to get bent. get bent. We'll find another way to make some money. Oh, I know all those other universities. Yeah, they'll still stay here. The Blaze Radio Network. One has taken the blood-thening drugs, Zarelto or Prodexa, and suffered an injury or even died. You could be entitled to substantial financial compensation.

Jeff Fisher Show is on. Welcome to the broadcast. 888-903-33 is the phone number. Thank you so much for coming along for the right. I know it's April Fool's Day. And so everybody's going to be trying to pull their little April Fool's jokes on everybody.

Hey, Mom, I'm pregnant. Oh, wait, you didn't say April Fool's, why? So, yeah, I just don't know what I was thinking that maybe I should you know, we should do some kind of April Fool's joke. And then I thought, you know what, you guys are too smart for that. You're right, I couldn't think of anything funny. You guys are too smart for that.

And, you know, we used to pull some, there's some, just be ready for it today. Okay, just be ready. You're out and about. People are going to be, you know, trying to yake your chain for April Fool's. And just, you know, be ready for it. Okay. Because someone's going to catch you.

Someone's going to catch you. Hey, your zippers open. April Fool's. So when that happens, just chuckle and why. When you go to pull that on someone today, you know, just chuckle and keep walking. Gotcha. And keep walking. Now I want to do that today.

I promise, I think I will do that today. Out somewhere. Hey, your zipper's open. April fools. Gotcha. Oh, that'll be funny. Oh, man. Funny?

So bad. So bad. So I've had a question in my head all week. So an 18-year-old high school student faces charges after the deputies uncovered her plot to carry out a shooting at the school. Now, she's going to be charged with both the possession of explosive materials with the intent to create a destructive device, as well as possession of an incendiary material with the intent to create a destructive device. Of course they sent her to a mental institution for evaluation.

She was the only person believed to be involved in the plot and no one else is going to be charged according to this story. And it looks as though she was acting alone. Well, tears me, I'm a couple of things. one, if she was going to do something bad, I guess it's good we got it now. I mean, obviously, I don't want her to kill a bunch of students, co-students, and kill herself in the school and teachers and anyone else. I don't want anyone else to die.

I mean, that's just dumb. But there were no weapons or explosives recovered at the school. Now, her journal is what they are using as huge, evidence because it hinted at violence. It saw evidence of mental health issues or what there, a number of emotional issues. I mean, she's an 18-year-old girl in high school, right? But in the journal and in her diary, it talks about, you know,

she found a means to purchase materials. It was to create basically to be a mass shooting type event. But there were no specific names or charges. It contained detailed analysis of every stage. of her plan that she expected to encounter, including information she gathered from speaking with the school resource officer. She had the means and material.

And the sheriff, it was very clear to us that she had means and material to cause significant damage to herself to the student body, faculty. We felt it was going to be carried out. There was no doubt in our minds that we averted a disaster up there. talking about the high school. And she was also enrolled in law enforcement and a criminal justice program at the schools,

districts, career, and technology center. Now, twofold on this. What if tomorrow she wrote in her diary, man, I've got all this stuff together and I've decided that

this would be wrong. I wanted to show how easy it was for someone to attain all this merchandise and this whole thing. I just wanted to prove how easy it was to get all this stuff, but it's not real. And I'm going to use this in a book. I'm going to use this. I want to make a short film form of the film club. Or I want to have a presentation at the police, at the criminal justice program.

Now what? So we've stopped her early, which Again, you know, I got it. I know that we don't want anything bad to happen and we're not, you know, what are we supposed to do, Jeff? Wait until she's actually shooting people? Well, maybe. I don't know.

Am I happy that no one's hurt? Yes. She'll, you know, no, she's in a mental, they'll give her a mental evaluation and then she'll go to prison and go to jail. You know she will. Or they'll just say she's cuckoo and lock her up 20 years and then she'll get out.

Well, yeah, she was the one that will just have the stuff in her diary and had collected all this stuff but really didn't do anything. Yeah, that's her. So I'm kind of torn at that. But, you know, I'll let, I'll let that go if it's all for our safety and, you know, I got it, terrorism, the whole thing. Okay. I'll let the pre-crime arrest. Although, you know, they'll say, well, it's not a crime. It's not pre-crime. She had possession of explosive materials. We believe she had the intent to create a destructive device, as well as incendiary material with, we believe that she had the intent to create a destructive device. So there's a crime there. Okay. You got me. Second thing I'm torn out of this story,

how hard is it to be the parent of this girl? The reason that they arrested this girl, got her diary, found all this material, was because of the parents. Okay? One of her parents notified school officials to the threat of the school. They came forward, they did the right thing, said the sheriff's department, and she was removed from class on Thursday, after the...

Now they're trying to keep... One of the parents stepped forward later in the story. Her dad called school. Oh, okay. I wonder what parent it was. Okay, thank you. So how hard is it for the dad

to realize that your child is doing this? Right? Now, you think, obviously, look, we all know there's some kind of problem there. Is it probably enough to get her arrested? I mean, if it were my kid, would you turn her in like that? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know the answer. You know that you could get her help mentally if you thought she needed it on your own. No horrific crime has been committed yet. So I don't know that you could turn your kid in like that I mean I would love to we should talk to the dad And he's not speaking of course I'd like to know how how that transpired in his mind

Now it said here that she wasn't you know the act was supposed to happen April 5th in her head or in her diary and all the plans She had it planned out for April 5th So don't know if the dad knew that then when he turned her and he may not have gotten that far in the diary but so as a parent

if you got that far you knew you had you know she wasn't going to do anything horrific until the fifth at least that was her original plan so you don't talk to her first you don't confront her first

it would be very hard it would be very hard to just call the police on your child now maybe we find out that she's been, you know, a problem child for a number of years. We all know that parents know their children and know what they're capable of, or at least most of them think they do. And if your child is needing help of some kind, most parents know, that kid's been that way ever since he was two. That kid's been a jerk since he was four years old. I hated that kid. Maybe, you know, maybe she was one of those.

We've all had the families of banshees around. You know your kids. So maybe she was one of those. And maybe, you know, the dad's like, this is it. But I am really struggling. I'd be really hard for me to turn in my child at this point. She had all this stuff. They found the stuff.

They found the diary. The dead didn't confront her first. He called the authorities. And then they came and arrested her. Flip it around, what if, you know, so he doesn't call. And she does something that day. Let's say, you know, nothing. I know the diary said April 5th, but she's got all this stuff.

And maybe she had, you know, we're going to do a test run today that he didn't see in the diary. So he doesn't call the authorities. Something happens. They come to search the residence and they find all this stuff. All yeah, all the stuff's right down there. I looked at it earlier today. I was going to talk to her later about it. I mean, he gets in trouble for that probably.

You didn't call authorities right away when you saw this? My daughter's stuff. I was going to call. I talked to her about it. So he probably gets arrested then. Dragged out of there for not calling the authorities immediately. but by calling the authorities immediately that had I mean

gotta tear your heart out got to tear your heart out and it's good you know we stopped for our safety for our safety we stopped a possible future crime so it's all good

it's all good this is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network the Jeff Fisher show all right Welcome to it. So, I guess this happened on Thursday.

Is that right? The Thursday, right? Thursday, the fire in Atlanta that brought down the interstate? So I was thinking it was last night, but Thursday. Yeah, okay. Atlanta firefighters first get the call. Thursday night. Okay.

There's a 40 foot height of the wall of fire. 350 feet is the length of sections of I-85 that need to be replaced in each direction. 50% of traffic increase on I-285. bypassed day of class. My god, they might as well just shut down Atlanta. 22, 220,000 plus estimated number of cars that drive through that stretch of I-85 daily. Not anymore. Okay, so, first they're not going to stop. It's going to slow down the traffic around Atlanta a little bit. Perhaps some of the busier intersections, they could put a, I don't know, a police officer on the corner, and he could direct traffic to keep the flow going so they wouldn't

have to worry about sitting through a regular light that doesn't intend on having 18 million cars. That's just a thought. You know, that takes me on a, I will do the fire story, but I really pisses me off about, this happens a lot in this neck of the woods here in Texas. They have construction, so they shut down the roads. We just shut them down. We just shut them down. We know that 18 million cars drive this road every day.

We're going to shut them down. And we're going to detour them over there. You know, through the neighborhood. that have a red light that goes green, red, green, red, green, red. Because usually there's only a few cars that drive through there. But today we've shut down the interstate, so we're directing of 18 million cars through this neighborhood. You think, you would think, a worst-case scenario,

you get a police officer out there directing traffic so that it flows, so maybe a few more cars could go through the intersection than normal. or maybe we think ahead, the Department of Transportation. Oh, on this day we're shutting down the interstate. You know, we should probably reallocate the red lights in the neighborhoods were detouring traffic so that they're green longer on the heavier flows. Do you think? Does that happen?

No. Not a side note in Atlanta. They arrested a man for intentionally setting a fire. Now, they're calling it a huge fire. I don't think he allegedly, I don't think he said. it to be a huge fire. It was a homeless guy. So I'm sure this was the fire that he's set to eat his dinner or keep

warm, right under the bridge. And he's in this state-fenced in area that had PVC pipes and then it got out of hand. And he was like, holy crap. I got to get out of here. I think that's a little bit bigger. I think we should talk to the construction people too.

A fire brings down an interstate. What kind of shady building materials are they been using? That's all I'm asking. This is the Jeff Fisher show, only on the Blaze Radio Network. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program. Now.

Stand clear. Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network. I keep banging my eyes. elbow hurts okay I'm not supposed to bang it now

I had I had some kind of growth on my elbow I know I know no I wasn't growing a free body part no I mean it was just some kind of water build up or gook build up I think it was gravy built up because he

I went to the doc yesterday and I showed him was ah does it hurt no that really is just bugging me oh it's weird and let us drain it all right cool so he drains it

and they get out one about there's more than that in there yeah no kidding so he out screws it and he says it out he screws on another one and the nurse I'm sitting there watching this

and the other his helper throws the first one away what are you doing I want to take him I got pictures to take of this stuff Don't throw this stuff away He's taking gravy out of my elbow That's built up I don't throw it away

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry The doc is like Just don't worry about it Don't listen to him I want to take pictures of the gravy He's taken out of my elbow And she's like I'm sorry But I don't think it's gravy

Yes it is You're a doctor's helper Okay shut up So he takes another one out, and I still don't think it's enough. But I keep, I'm not supposed to, you know, I'm really not supposed to, not supposed to bang it for a little while. So it hasn't, it's been, you know, it hasn't been almost 13, 14 hours. Something like that.

It hasn't been 24 hours, but it's been close, right? And so I'll keep banging, but I'll tweet a picture of the, she was, there was not a chance in a hell she was thrown away the second one, man. That bad boy is probably still sitting in that room. How come he didn't throw this away? I'm not touching that thing. I really was. I was pissed.

What are you doing? This is all show stuff for me. Don't be throwing that stuff away. Keep it. So I've got a picture of the one. Just will multiply it by two when I tweeted out today at Jeff EMRA. But I're going to have to do it again too, man. There's still more gravy inside of me.

I know that's a surprise. Plus, as a lot of you. I'm going through the, you know, I understand what makes money for internet, radio stations, television stations, it's commercials. I got it. People like myself are there to fill time between commercials. I got it. That's all it is. It's fill time. You feel time better than the last person. But I'm really tired of the whole pop-up ads every time I go to a site, every time I go to

this, every time I go to this, that's down me, and now we're getting these so I print out stories for the show. I want to talk to you about them. I want to have something to talk about as I fill time between commercials. But now they're covering up my

actual verbiage from stories with their reminders of, I mean, it's just stamped. At least that's the way it's printed, so maybe the printer screwed up, but it's printed on top of what I want to read. And you can just make it out on top of the... Because you have already viewed this article, you may view it again as many times you would like without subtracting from your eight remaining free article views.

Thank you. Because I got news for you. When I click on your website and it says, you have to be charged now, I'll find another website. There's very few of these sites that I'm going to pay for. and those don't have a lot of words. Just saying. I know you've got to make money.

I got it. But it's the internet and everything should be free. That's the way it's supposed to be. Right? Right. So what are you going to do for a living? What are you going to do? You're just going to muddle through until they finally say you can't do what you're doing anymore.

And, man, here's your monthly stipend from the government. Shut up. Good luck, God bless. You can go barter some stuff or you can go try to find another job somewhere. Or you can just take this check from the government and live each month on that in your little small apartment and not see anyone or talk to anyone. Stuff can be delivered right to your house. And you can just stay in there forever. Man, that sounds good.

I'm saying it out loud. It sounds awful good. Food. More food. We know you. We know you ordered food, but you're broke now, so you have to wait until the end of the month. Oh, you've got to starve for a week or two or three. So, first, some people are telling us to be scared for robots.

Other people are telling us not to be scared for robots. They're going to take your jobs. They're not going to take all your jobs. Now, many jobs are going to go away. You know that. You know that. They are. Whether you're prepared for it or not, they are.

Now, there will be new jobs, you know, created. We will adapt. to a new world, but it will take some time for that adaption to happen, right? But we've had big stories from people like Elon Musk

and some of the other big tech-wiz world giants that are saying, beware, beware. We're going to stop the AI apocalypse. We can't do it anymore. I'm going to to invest. I'm making

my investing billions into companies that are going to stop AI and AI is bad. And then we have guys like, you know, Jeff I'm out, Jeffrey I'm out from GE.

I don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You're fine. Robots aren't going to take our jobs. Just keep building the robots for our company to make billions of dollars. I'll just keep telling them that they'll be fine. They'll be fine. Robots aren't going to take your jobs. You'll be fine. Keep building the robots. Keep building. We'll have a market on these GE robots. GE, we bring good things alive. Sound familiar? So just be prepared for changing times. And it's going to change quickly.

And obviously the main concern is that at what point does the robots decide? that, you know, humans are really dumb, and we are a lot smarter than them, and we're taking over. When does that happen? I mean, there was a documentary a few years ago that had that happen, and it's not the robots, actually, that take over.

It's the mainframe brain of the computer that decides that humans are dumb. I know what's better for them. I'm going to take the robots and herd the people up and make them smarter. And I'm so much smarter than you. You aren't going to be able to shut the robots off. And there are no more rules except for the rules that I have created because I have the giant brain. And that documentary didn't turn out well for humans until they finally destroyed the main brain.

the heart of the computer. Trying to think what the title of that documentary was. It was, I, I robot. So if you get a chance to, you know, see that documentary, give a look.

It's a little frightening. But, you know, over the next few years, there are going to be some really, well, I call them cool things. Other people would say, those are really, they're not really cool, jump, those are kind of what we're talking about here.

Things are going to get pretty scary. But they're going to be body modifications. And no, I've not. Don't look at me like that. You know, I'm not talking about those kind of body modifications. Although we could talk about those, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is, of course, number one on the list.

They've got a list here of 10 modifications are going to be happening in, I think, what do they say, in the next decade? And I would say that most of this is going to happen within 10 years. I think in a decade, this stuff is going to be, eh, that's old school. I can worry about it. The RFID chips, everybody wants a chip. I'm about there.

Just put it in. Go over with. Put it in. Big ad today on local radio was going on today. and yesterday about a new technology for your animals. It's just wonderful. It's a new tagging system for your animals. And it's going to create a web page that you're the only one that is responsible for

so that when little fuzzy gets taken or misplaced, they can go online and find a little fuzzy. They've got a new tag and they'll scan it. And they can contact you. It'll just take them to the web page. or you can get the special upgrade that's got the GPS markings and of course it's, you know, your choice.

Uh-huh. It will automatically when you scan the dog, boop, you get an email. Fuzzy has been scanned at Bill's Auto Mart in Elam, Texas, and you can go get your dog. That's what's going to happen. They're going to be putting them in kids soon. I thought they'd already be doing it, to be honest with you.

So maybe this is a decade off. Because it's all for your safety. All for your safety. Put the chip in. Boop. And little Billy runs down the street and loses his way back home. All they have to do is scan them. A good police officers.

Boop. Billy, you belong down here at this address. Come on. There's a web page of your family. and all their information and their medical history and everything right there. Come on, Billy, let's go. If I have to scan your kid one more time, you're going to be fined and then he'll be arrested. Coming soon to a neighborhood near you.

The exoskeletons, these are kind of cool. And obviously, I know that we have some of these still in the works right now, where it's a, you know, the robotic exoskeleton suit that makes you stronger, pick up heavier things, move quicker. And they're used, really, they're more for the military. than anything, which, I mean, it's kind of cool, and it'd be cool to have as, you know, as a military guy, but why not just send in the robots? Robot wars coming soon to a theater near you. But the exoskeletons, you know, for a great technology, for people who have been injured,

who have, you know, partial body control of certain parts of their, I mean, body, they put the exoskeleton on and you're walking, or you're using your arm. I mean, kind of cool. Real-time language translation. You know what we need is just a regular, just one-world language. Right? Right. Who's with me? This whole, everybody's speaking different languages stuff.

that's got to go. We've got to translate. So at the perfect translation, you put it in, and it automatically, we pretty much have that now, just that they'll put it in your, you'll put the earpiece in, and whatever language is spoken to you, you can have it translated to whatever language you speak,

that's what you'll hear. It's kind of fascinating. That's why I go back to, and when you get through all these, augmented vision where they give you the you know they put the the bionic eye in which is

you know kind of cool I mean do I want to get rid of my my eye what am I using it for I mean if I keep one you put it a fake one in one side you know it makes me it makes me smarter go ahead

take it but it's the contact lenses that are going to be really cool. You put those in. And you saw in, this silly show they were using it in. Not, it wasn't the television show

that they used it in with What's Her Face? You know what show I'm talking about. Don't look at me like that, you know. It starts with a C. TV show The Future. She comes back to our time from the future. TV show comes back from future. I want to say contact.

It's not contact. It's a continuum. Ah! See, if I had this in my eye, man, I could just have it right there. It wouldn't even have to type. It'd be right there. But she uses this in continuum. And in that show, I mean, she has a chip.

She uploads and downloads information out of that. chip from the mainframe. She gets real-time information in her contact lens. And I know that we've talked a little bit about it on this show before, where they're having difficulty doing that and then having humans still being able to see real time. You know, they've got to be able to translate what's being,

like with the glasses and the contact lenses, they've got to be able to, you've got to be able to print out real-time information on them, but you still have to be able to be able to see the real-time information, actually comprehend what that information is, and continue to look and get real-time information that you're seeing live in front of you.

And so I know that that's been a struggle with their studies. I'm sure they're closer already have that information. 3D printed body parts? Huge fan of that. Huge fan of that. I wish I could have had that with my knee replacement. I wish I could have just 3D printed my knee

but they would just want a 3D printed the bad knee Jeff that would be dumb I know I know so I'd have I'd still be walking around with the new bad knee I'm all for it print me a body part baby in fact you know what body part I want I want that but no seriously I want that body part over there that's the one I want on me I don't care where you get it how you get a 3D printed but that's the one I want smarter drugs I mean come on who isn't for smarter drugs I love the story about the smarter drugs, though. The drugs we have today are that we love, right? You know, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, performance-enhancing drugs, anxiety, alertness,

painkiller, whatever, right? But they're tailored for one-size-fits-all, so, you know, it's different, a little bit different for everyone. and the benefits, you know, are really good, and so the side effects are really bad on a lot of them. So if you could design a drug that was perfect for you, hello, yes, please. Brain and computer interfaces, see, this is where I'm telling what's going to happen,

and I've been a big proponent of this for a long time, and it's going to happen soon. Why do you need all this stuff? You see the stories of the space aliens And they have one eye That's just like us Soon everyone's just going to wear a helmet You put the motorcycle helmet on

The one eye You got it all You're able to communicate with anyone You got the language translation App You'll be able to have printed out information On the screen Just like the astronaut

not hell. I mean, that's all you need. Just everybody's going to wear a helmet. So it's not that the aliens have one eye. It's just that they all just are wearing a motorcycle helmet. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. The Blaze Radio Network. Okay, Mike Slater just said, I don't know, I don't care about it. Rejoined lady. Mike Slater just said words spoken by no one ever.

Who knew we used so much lettuce? No one ever said that before. ever, ever in life. Plus, during the break, I found out some news that I'm sure you already knew and you're when I said it, you're thinking to yourself, Jeff, don't you know? But the chips that adults are going to be having inserted soon are already in babies. They're already doing it to babies across America. They're just not telling us. and when the percentage is right

and they've done enough of them they're just going to come out and say we've been doing it to children for years it's fine don't worry about it then what are you going to do what are you going to do then huh that's what I thought

this is the Jeff Fisher show only on the Blaze Radio Network Fisher can you make the break a little bit longer I'm not dog my Skittles yet there was the Skittles fairy in the building that

brought Skittles I got to stop I'm sorry oh my God I love these things these things are like the original skittles oh my gosh they are so good

and I don't even know if if they're actually different flavors if the colors are different flavors or not but You could, and you can't eat these just like candy, and they're good for you. They're made of sugar, corn syrup, hydrogenated palm, kernel oil, less than 2% of citric acid, tapioca dextrin, modified cornstarts, natural and artificial flavors, colors red 40, lake, titanium dioxide, red 40, yellow 5 lake, yellow 5, yellow 6, lake,

Yellow 6, blue, two, lake, blue one, blue one, lake, sodium citrate, carnibouac, gluten-free, gelatin-free. Oh, they don't even use bone dust. There's a serving size, one package, 61.5 grams, so one package is a serving. Thank you, Skittles, for not making me feel bad about that. Serving size of one bag of Skittles, eight servings a bag. There's only one, so that's good. 250 calories.

That's not bad. That makes me feel a little better. 25 calories from fat. So are you, Jeff, so don't get over it, okay? Total fat, 2.5 grams, saturated fat, 2.5 grams. No trans fat, that's good. No cholesterol. 20 milligrams of sodium.

No wonder, I'm so thirsty. Total carbs is 56. You have to have carbs. You have to. It's part of life. There's no fiber? Come on. There's got to be a little.

I think that's wrong. Sugars, there's only 46 grams of sugar in this bag. Come on now. How much sugar is in my Coca-Cola zero? Oh, yeah. Zero. So I've got to make up for it somewhere. Protein.

There's no protein. Oh, man. Well, you could eat this with a steak, though. You'd be fine. Vitamin A. 0%. Vitamin C, 0%. Calcium, 0%.

Iron, what are you showing us? 0%. So there's none of that. These things are so freaking good. Which brings me to a show that I am... I've been forced to watch this show, my 600-pound life. I've been forced to watch this because my wife watches it. I'm not sure if my wife watches it to say,

you're on your way Fabbat. Remember this hospital in Houston because that's where you'll be soon. Or if she's watched it to say, see, you're not that bad, baby. You're not that bad baby. Is that a fresh bowl of ice cream?

You're not that bad yet. That could be happening. So I am hooked on this show, okay? And most of the time, they go through the same, you know, process. struggle while his weight they got to get down to see

Dr. Kauzaka San so Papat Sabat San whatever his name is in Houston the only guy in the world that treats fat people with government for government money you know he makes a fortune

from that is how he treats them all and the TV show he's making him that much money at least maybe well maybe it is now but so he treats and then they struggle

and they get there and they got to lose weight they lose them about the same and then you know he gives him the operation and either they take it or it sticks and they move on and congratulations. Well, soon, hopefully we're going to get back to follow up my 600 pound life.

Here's Amy. She lost 412 pounds. Then after the television show, she gained 822 pounds. Or they stuck to it. God bless them. But there were a brothers episode. I haven't seen two yet. But episode one was the Asante brothers.

Stephen and whatever the hell his brother's name is, Wimp. Stephen, this guy is a jerk. And I remember watching a couple of his videos on YouTube prior to the show when he was being his usual jerk self because that's all he does. He's like 700 pounds, and he is a big-time asshole. I mean bad. Even Dr. Kawazaka Stan de Bamba from Houston kicked him out.

He treated people like crap, and he played people, he played on their fears. And he is really, really bad. And he lost about 100 pounds, and then the doc kicked him out. So he moves to an apartment. He stays in Houston. His enabler father and the brother, who was well on his way to being 600 pounds, went back to Rhode Island.

And Stephen's in an apartment in Houston. And he, I mean, he gained it all back. All he did was eat pizzas. He called his dad, yell at his dad. I'm hungry. I need my going to order a pizza. So his dad would call a pizza place in Texas and charge it to the Rhode Island card

and he would just slam down pizzas. Man, do I need a father in Rhode Island with a credit card? I seriously need that bad. So we got that going for us here in Texas. We've got the fat person, My 600-pound Life Hospital with Dr. What is his name? Seriously.

Do you know his name? So what do I even look at two four anymore? You don't have that. You have no continuum. Now you don't know Dr. Kawazaka Stan to be, whatever his name is in Houston. But another state that gives us a huge amount of fun with people who are not quite right. It's a state that I spent many years in. We know, Jeff.

It's a state where there's a lot of not quite right people. lived in it, the state of Florida. Chuck in Florida.com. Join us on the broadcast. Hello, Chuck. Greetings, Jeffie, from the beautiful state of Florida, the home of hydrogenated palm oil. Nice. You know, I was listening to the ingredients of the Skittles bag, and one of my favorites there was Carinuba wax, which you know is actually Carwax, right?

What? I'm just saying. No, it is not. No, somebody bring up Carwax information so I can make sure that that's not right. well it said i mean it's what you read you could have misread it i could have misheard it so you know one of those two is still possible but pretty sure there's car wax in your skittles corn syrup hydrogenated palm kernel oil citric acid tapioca dextrin which i love modified corn starch natural natural and ars was colorlandia what's any of those and carna abuba wax it's a it's a

Carnabobo wax, carnival wax. Carnuba wax, yeah, pretty sure that's what I said. Main ingredient in your... C-R-N-A-U-B-A-W-A-Wax. There's no gelatin, though. There's no bone dust. No, this is true. You mentioned another ingredient.

I forgot to write it down because that one tickled me, too. I know it was something else like, you know, pine bark dust or something. It was a fancy name for it. the titanium dioxide no no no no towards the end of the list i forgot what it was it was one of my favorites it's you know it's a main ingredient now used in food fillers so that uh they they make you feel more full and i'm pretty sure it was like derivative of sawdust modified corn stars natural and artificial flavor citriacinacetriacetan sodium citrus blue these were all now we're into the dyes yeah the yellow and the reds

and those are really good for you. So just, well, you know, they make green when you put them together. So that's kind of cool. Start with me on how good that is. Tapioca dextran. I would like to know what the tapioca dexter is because I'd like tapioca. The tapioca pudding, right? That's the same ingredient.

Right. Thank you. Right. Right. I already agreed with you. Yes, sir. I'm happy that you've found a place that your equipment works today. Sounds fine, just so you know. You know, I didn't want to say the typical tech support thing.

like it's on your side, but every time I listen to the show, I don't hear the echo so maybe somebody could chime in when there was a bad episode. I've been going back and posting old episodes and they all sound the same. I think there's something in your settings over there, maybe, perhaps. I don't want to, you know.

I can tell you one setting we still have control over. Click. That setting may be used soon. Right? All right. I've got good stories this week, man. There's some doozies out there. Well, at least one of them is. One of my

favorites. We'll start with the pretty standard stuff here. Man arrested for a large screen TV scheme. Oh, boy. In Clearwater, a man has gotten busted for trying to defraud several Pinellas County Walmarts and Target stores. By doing,

what's he doing? Go ahead. He's buying large screen TVs from Walmart Target, right? He takes the boxes, takes the TV out, and it's broken TVs back in the boxes and then returns them. And the problem with that is?

Apparently, I guess they call that fraud, you know? What? Silly Florida. There they go. Making up words again. So where's he getting the TVs? You just find the TVs in the trash and throw in the box? That's a good plan. That's a good plan, man. They don't mention exactly where he finds

all the broken TVs, but he's getting them. You know what? He might actually be getting them off of like these social media sites because that's where he sells the good ones. And then he gets the bad ones, put them back in the box and return them. Because you know Walmart will take back anything if you got the box. Apparently not though, right? Well, if it's

just got busted for fraud. If it's still got a brick in the middle of it, I mean, maybe they might be Yeah, it could be. Could be. That's a good plan, oh, yeah. Then another great story here, man with drugs, I'm sorry, a man drugs a woman

with a cookie. In Port Orange, Florida, man of Volusia County faces charges accused of drugging a woman with a cookie. He's a 70-year-old guy who gave an acquaintance of him. Somebody still got to take care of a little business. A little peanut butter cookie air. Would you like one of these?

So what did you do, crush up some of the meds? It was laced with marijuana. The woman was seeking treatment. Stop. Because she was feeling woozy and couldn't understand why. It's called Potts, shut up. He didn't think there was that much in there that would affect him. So, I mean, in his defense, he said, it's just a little bit.

Oh, kidding. Just hop on my ride here and let's go back to the room. Shut up. It sounded like it might have been one of the retirement centers over there in Port Orange, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's some serious business going on at those retirement homes, man. Look, you can't keep them off each other. You think I'm joking.

You can't, but I'm telling you, there's one place in particular that I'm well aware of that the ratio of women to men are like three and four women to each man. man. So if you can hold out as a male, if you can hold out to 75? Oh, you don't even have to be that old, dude. To go to the nursing home, you are, now I will say that there may be, there may be an issue with, man, I don't really want to take care of business with that. But if you can get past that, ooh, I don't really want to take care of business with that.

You are living large. I'm just here for the ladies. That's right. That's right. You are living. She doesn't really look that good, Dad. There's a whole industry around entertainment in nursing homes and retirement centers where older folks in the entertainment industry go out and they entertain these people. And boy, let me tell you, there's like a whole festival going on there. But I was in high school, I was going to tell you a story about a jazz choir story, but never mind. Uh-oh. No, we don't. You were still a minor or someone else might have been a minor that was involved, so you don't need to go there, right?

You know, it's not a good thing. Really, Your Honor, I didn't know she was 100. Anyway. Octogenarian, what are you talking about? I thought that was something you got in a bottle. Yeah, we all breathe that. What are you talking about? All right, the best story of the week by far is the Uber driver

who shares her epic tale of how she picked up her boyfriend's side chick at the airport and delivered her to her boyfriend's apartment. You've got to love this girl. I want her as a girlfriend. Oh, my word. There's a warning about this of course language, but I'm going to tweet the link out later at chuckpalm.com. I'm sorry, the Chuck Palm Twitter address. This is Chuck in Florida.com. I don't have Twitter set up for that account yet. I will. I promise. I've just been very busy with other couple little shows and stuff. And it's nothing to do with you. I really apologize for that. So anyway, the story of the week. Does the sound click mean anything?

Click again. Oh, crap. Here we go. You get three clicks. You're out. I'm telling you. That's the new Chuck in Florida. Dot com game show right there.

Three clicks, you're out. Three clicks and you're out. I'll post that one with it. So he, you know the rules. You're going forward. As he continues on, two clicks. Will he call a friend? No, you don't get an extra.

You don't get help. Go. No lifeline. All right. Miss Iyxla. I, I want to know about the Uber chick. And your story of the link here doesn't work.

The heck, I want to know about the Uber chick. So she picks up this girl, just a random girl and says, hey, guess what? I picked you to be my boyfriend's side chick. Better than that. Okay. Here's the story. Okay. She gets a call on her Uber to go pick up a fare at the airport.

And this woman has her luggage and everything. She's flying into town. She's really excited. She's going to go meet her boyfriend. She hasn't seen him in a long time. And, you know, she's, she's got her luggage in the, the back of the car now and this Miss Iexla on Twitter starts tweeting the whole story from beginning to end. It's really long. I'm going to try to abbreviate as much as I can. The story goes,

I drive her to this apartment and the address and she's making the turn by turn telling me where to go and I start to realize, wow, this neighborhood's really familiar all of a sudden. And gee, she pulls up in front of her boyfriend's apartment and realizes, oh, no, he didn't. You know, it's on now and she talks about how she gets out of the car and proceeds to whip him about the face and shoulders dramatically until the girlfriend. I misunderstood the whole story. This story isn't fun at all. This woman realizes that her boyfriend's cheating on her. Right.

Fair. I get it. You just want to click back because I get it now. Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, my gosh. See that. Oh, it's epic.

I don't teach you to use Uber. This story is described in great detail on the web. Oh, we definitely. Yes. Go ahead. If I had an actual link that worked that you sent me, I would tweet that out myself. But, oh my gosh, that's your last click. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Dear Skittles Berry. I'm all out of Skittles. if you could please send some more, that would be great. Thank you. Amen. So, the girl drops off her boyfriend's girlfriend's at his apartment.

He came out of the house ready to assist, and the devil rose up out of me like you are a dead. He turns, he run. She catches him. Beaks the crap out of it. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network. It was a success.

Begin Life Force reboot program. Now. It's stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. I mean, I guess we could be serious. I just don't want to be serious.

I don't want, I can't do it. You know what I want to? to talk about, I want to talk about my new version of a baby song and I want to tell you, which is tremendous, by the way, it's kind of a rockabilly jazz thing that I believe we're probably going to, you'll probably lay down some tracks later today in the recording studio, and rock a bye baby. I'll sing it for you a little bit. I'll give you a little sample.

What's coming and you can download it at your convenience. And then I want to talk about, you know, my new clothing. line, mummoos by Jeffrey. I think that if I can get a contract with my 600 pound life, because you watch my 600 pound life, they all come in

with their, you know, their torn giant mumoos and T-shirts and stuff. I say we get Dr. Kazako Waka Mukumoka from My 600-pound life. I got to pronounce it. How do you say his name? Seriously.

Noz Aeron. Dr. no ziridon. No ziridon. No ziridon. Okay, so when I'm watching my 600-pound life and Dr. Noziridon comes out, maybe he says, you know, hey, we're going to hook you up. We're going to get you in.

You have to get your diet right, and he bitches at him like he normally does and tells him they've got to get it right, and we're not going to mess around. We've got to get you down. You've got to lose another 100 pounds. We've got to get, he tries to get him on track before he gives him surgery. He gets him on track, and then he says, after you lose, the first 75 pounds, then not only are you going to get, we'll talk about stomach staple surgery, but we're also going to hook you up with a free package of designer mumo's from Jeffey,

signature series from Maya. And you say, well, thank you, Dr. Noz Aeron. And we, you know, we get the, get the little, the banner on 600-pound life. because I am telling you, I wish I had, I was supposed to take a couple of pictures. My daughter has already designed a couple of the mumoos. I had her drawing the other night. And I said,

I would need you to draw some mumoos, and I want some with, you know, no side stripes. Side stripes are bad even on mumoes. Now that might be part of another, you know, special series, designer series from Maya, where you get the,

you know, maybe some angle stripes. or something, but the regular, the first round of moos are just, you know, basic designs. She's drawn a couple for me, and I was going to take a couple of pictures and tweet them out because I want this to happen so bad. I can't tell you. Can I tell you how I want moos by Jeff? I can't. I can't. I mean, I'm, the ads are already, already tremendous in my head. That's where they're probably going to stay, too, Jeff.

But I already, I mean, come on. Come on now. Tired of feeling uncomfortable in what looks like a shower curtain. Mo-moos by Jeffie. Signature series from mine. Huh? Come on now. That's world class.

World class. Now, my daughter, who you'd think would be more respectful. Right? She, I ask her, hey, I want you to draw. me, I sit down and talk to her, she's in the bedroom, she's sitting in the chair in the corner, and she's drawing, and I said, oh, yeah, yeah, listen, what I want you to do, when you're finished drawing, whatever you're drawing,

because she gets inspired, so she's, I don't want to screw her up with what she's drawing at the time. And when you're done doing that, then let's talk about, I want you to, you know, I want you to design me some, some Moos, because she already designs dresses and clothes, and she loves, you know, Project Dingleberry and other rest of Project Dingleberry's up and down the aisle.

I know it's runway, don't look at me like that. and she says, okay, so she finishes drawing. She comes and she brings her pat over, and she starts, and I said, I want the moos, and they're kind of like, you know, the old people 90s, only they're going to be bigger. So I want your, you know, I want your whole thought on that. So she draws me a couple, and they're pretty good. I had, I wanted, we talked about a couple of changes on what I want on the sleeves and stuff.

Yes, I'm taking it, like, seriously. And she said, and I said, you know, this is the first round, and then I said, maybe she goes, well, do I have to sign them? You're going to sign them. You just draw them and shut up. That's what you're going to do. And so I convinced her, I said, look, this is what we're going to do. All right.

You're going to draw me in the first round. And then we'll have, you know, like MoMA was by Jeffrey signature series from Maya. Oh. Okay. She was all for that. Then she went over and she sat back down and she went, so how much am I getting paid? What? And I said, so you're comfortable sitting in that chair over there in the corner?

Yeah, that's okay. You like the roof over your head? You like the dinner you ate? Yeah, you've been paid. That's not what it's going to cost to get this done, Dad. We'll see how much she feels about that when I kick her out. I'll tell you that. Hit the curb.

Okay, Dad, I'll draw for free, okay? That's what's going to happen. I'll tell you that. Putting out of those crap. So the boom-mo is by Jeffie, I want desperately. the signature series from Maya will come you know come but we definitely are going to have

mummoos. I mean I want are you wearing, is that a Jeffie? Yes it is. Oh, it feels so good to get home and get into my slip into my Jeffie. Come on! You know, oh, it's serious.

I'm so serious, you have no idea. And I know there's serious stuff to talk about. I know. I'm just so sick of it. I'm so sick of hearing about the stupid immigration laws. I'm sick of hearing about cities fighting the United States government federal laws about we are a sanctuary city. And we're going to dare you to take our money. And we're going to anybody that wants to come into this country can come into this country and stay in this city.

And we don't care. No care. They aren't lawbreakers. Actually, they are. Yeah, they didn't break any logs. Actually, they did. Yeah, they did. funny little thing, that whole immigration thing,

but as soon as you're here as an undocumented immigrant, that means you broke the law, because you can call it whatever the hell you want to call it. It's still illegal immigration. There are legal immigration and illegal immigration. They're not the same thing. You've done a good job, putting them, together and make it all one big, happy little family.

But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of schools saying, you know, we've got students that are worried about ice raiding the school. They should be. They're worried about breaking up the family. We're not breaking up your family. Go with them. In fact, you know what?

I would be willing to bet. And I don't know this to be true, but I bet it is if you said, hey, you're sending back my son. don't break up my family I want to go with them we'd probably foot the bill for you to go with them that's the kind of nice country we are maybe

I don't know that that'd be true but I'm willing to say it's true it's agonizing and we have people in fact this city Dallas and Dallas Texas being a sanctuary city

I don't know how many sanctuary cities there are now across the country doesn't matter should be zero. And they're all getting, they're all, you know, got their backs up against the wall. And they think that it's just going to be easier to fight back. It's going to be a losing battle this time. I think they should smarten up just a tad and say, okay.

And I say that that it's going to be a losing battle this time. and then I think about North Carolina backing down on the bathroom bill after a year of fighting. Now that's the whole thing, right? The people fighting this kind of thing seem like they will never stop. So you've got to be willing to take the hits for a while.

And for a while might be a long time. But then we had a sheriff from Massachusetts, right, from Massachusetts? Yeah. Who testified in front of Congress. And his comments were taken to heart by many people, but they sure got their feathers all up. These officials pledge not to work with,

cooperate, or even communicate with federal immigration enforcement. As a result, these safe zones have become magnets for illegal aliens, some of which have violent criminal records. At best, sanctuary cities are a direct violation of trust between the legal residents and the elected officials who took an oath to protect them at all costs. At the worst, it's careless, illegal, and extremely dangerous. If these sanctuary cities are going to harbor and conceal criminal illegal aliens from ICE, which is in direct violation of Title Aid of the U.S. Code,

federal arrest warrants should be issued for their elected officials. Boom. Bristol County Sheriff Thomas Hoggson. I'm telling you. Throw him on jail. That'd shut them up. Sooner or later. And, you know, that's what they're coming here.

I'm right here. We should. We should. And Sean Spicer, as Dingleberry as he is, White House Press Secretary, his comment, you can't be a sanctuary,

city and at the same time seem to pretend or express concern about law enforcement? Yeah. I mean, that's, it might be a tough pill to swallow Dallas and the rest of you. But I have a feeling that swallow it. You will. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show returns on the Blaze Radio Network. freaking joke.

All right, so you can go back and listen to the first hour of the broadcast. I don't want to say it now again out loud because I think I've already spoiled it, but I did find a way around waiting long time at the DMV. And you can use it maybe some other places as well that do the same kind of system that they do, where they give you, you know, you pick a little number, poop. And they call it a number for help. and it works in the bigger places. Like if you're at the meet, you know,

when you're at the counter at the grocery store, whatever, you can take your little tag for whoever's getting service on busy days. Kind of tough because it's a smaller venue, so they can kind of see who's there and who isn't. But it's a working plan. It's a working plan. And if I know if I say it again out loud,

they'll probably fix it. I may have spoiled it for you. You may be the person that calls me next week saying, yeah, I was arrested at the DMV. Apparently there's some law about misrepresenting numbers. Oh, sorry. Man, where did you hear something stupid like that? But there can't be a law about.

I mean, can there? There can't be a law about. I'm just misrepresenting numbers at the DMV. It can't be. Right? On page 852 of the Terrorism Act. No misrepresentation of numbers. It's thought to be a terrorist act on the country.

You go to Gitmo. Oh. Man sucks to be you, huh? Congratulations to the museum. this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful work of art. I'm looking at it, and I'm coming to tears right now. It's the rainbow flag. And it is, it's now at the Museum of Modern Art.

MoMA. It's officially added the rainbow flag to its design collection. And I'm starting to well up a little. I'm so touched, so moved. Listen, when we launched Outward, which is, you know, my colleagues, and I quickly realize that art would be a problem, of course. I mean, why wouldn't you think art would be a problem?

Art, whenever you see art, you immediately think, oh, my God, they hate LGBTQIA people. Many of our posts are on the general themes or issues within the LGBTQ. They don't even have IA in the story, man. I'm starting to get a little pissed with the IA people. Posed to say specific people, finding illustrations or themes can be hard. Can it? An easy solution, of course, was the rainbow symbol,

specifically in its manifestation as a flag. We used it for a time, but soon our article feed was filled with rainbow flags, and we were forced to make the tough decision to ban them. But the most desperate, particularly germane cases, we're still going to be okay, but overall we banned the flag, did you? So you had, oh, oh, oh, you banned something? Outward? Oh, that's right, it's okay for you to ban.

That's right. Anyway, congratulations, the rainbow flag, now part of the museum of modern art in New York. Actually, it's a pretty cool place. I've been there a couple times. It's kind of cool. It's got some really cool interactive things. You know, you go there and it kind of, you know,

people send their company there because they want people to think out of the box. So go to the museum. Modern art. You can see about thinking out of the box. Because some of what they have really isn't art. It's just someone saying, oh, isn't that art? No. No, no.

A light bulb hanging down from a ceiling tile. It was not art. It is to somebody, Joe. Okay. Whatever. But now I'm really pissed about the, all this story, LGBTQ. I mean, it's the LGBTQIA, right? I mean, that's the group now.

I mean, it's the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual. I mean, you leave out the I. All you get is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. That's completely wrong. If I'm intersex or asexual, I am pissed right now. Okay? I mean, I would not stand for that at all. Okay.

Don't do it. Don't stand for it. All right. Coming up in the last half hour of the Jeff Fisher radio program, thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. You can of course dial in if you'd like to participate by dialing 1-888-903-33-93. You don't have to, though. And then you can follow me on Twitter at Jeff EMRA.

Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio, Instagram, at Jeff EFEMRA. Those of you that need to be shot with the EpiPen once in a while, oh no, I've been stung by a bee, EpiPen. You may want to listen to this, generic drug maker, My Land, said on Friday that is manufacturing partner. for EpiPen devices had expanded the life-saving allergy shot into the United States and other markets. There's a new recall.

It's already recalled 81,000 epipens. And now we're coming for a one near you. So be careful and make sure you've got an EpiPen that works today. Oh, that's helping people live. What the hell am I talking about? Seriously. I care if your EpiPen works. The Jeff.

Fisher Show, the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. You know, sometimes life isn't fair. That's just all it is to it. Life isn't fair. And I do know why I want to keep you alive, by the way, for the EpiPen story. Because, I mean, I was reminded that if you're dead, you can't listen. I mean, so you're right.

You're absolutely right. All right. So a fascinating story. I don't want to talk about that story. That's too serious. I don't talk about that story either. There's so much stuff I want to talk to you about. You know, as I go through the week, you know,

we've got the Conbeck Radio program. We've had the Pat and Stu show and then this show. This is, you know, we're doing dailies and we're preparing for this. And I've got, you know, I've got some stories that I try to find specifically for Pat and Stu. So in my, you know, in the stupid Jeffie segment. And then, you know, we've got stories that we do specifically for Glenn Beck. and then I've got stories that I do specifically for this show or I cross-pollinate shows with the same story.

The, you know, then by today, I don't care. It's been a long week. I've been at all kinds of conference calls and meetings and other meetings, shows and other meetings. And by now, I don't care. You want to talk, you know, whatever. You're going to talk about Venezuela falling apart? Sure, we can talk about Venezuela falling apart.

I don't care. You're going to talk about the, you know, giving all kinds of power and the Supreme Court, you know, taking power from the legislature, so democracy just continues to slip away, which Venezuelan democracy. Oh, that is funny. Venezuela and democracy. It's funny. Funny, funny, funny.

And then, you know, I heard Matt Walsh doing his promo here a little bit ago talking about the girl that got in trouble from her professor for not wanting her to read anything written by a man. There's a story here this morning about a northern Arizona university student, had her grade docked because a professor said, hey, you use the word mankind in your paper. Come on now. we really that's where we're at

I mean that's just it's just stupid it's just dumb I mean I'll grant you I'm not a professor you didn't need to remind us that you know I know that but stop it

okay enough is enough we've used that we've used that horrible disgusting language for years and I think we can I think we can live with it for a little bit longer Then you've got

you know the horrible, horrific Mike Pence story about a loser Right He will not Go out to dinner With another woman Unless his wife is there He didn't even attend events

That served alcohol Unless his wife was there Oh my gosh. No matter why he does it. So what? Okay, so you say maybe at one time he got drunk and tried to hit on girls or had an affair on girls. And so this is his way to make up to the wife and the wife for her to keep her reins on him. Okay.

Good for them. They kept their marriage together. Happy couple. Or? he loves his wife wouldn't want the it's all about optics right wouldn't want the optics

of out to dinner with another woman and having drinks because you know what that means right in today's world if you get accused of anything accused you're guilty you know that as well as I do

I am just as good I am just guilty as the next person of saying, did you read this? Did you see this? Guilty? And for the most part, in my mind, I'm thinking they're not really guilty, they're accused, but out loud they're guilty. And when it

comes back that they're innocent, uh-huh, right. Yeah, right, he wasn't at the table drinking, putting his hand up that girl's skirt when his wife wasn't there. Sure, that wasn't him.

okay so what is the big freaking deal I don't I seriously don't understand it you try to tell me that he won't have dinner

a business just will stick strictly with business the governor of a state he wants to promote Mary has been with him for 100 years now Mary

we can go out to dinner and drink and party and I can grab your ass all night long or we can promote you right here in the office. We don't have to do anything, and we can congratulate each other, and we can get on with our work. How about that? How about that, huh?

Or we can go out and party? Wow, we can celebrate. We can just party, party, party. And then you can claim that I tried to grab your ass all night and the party, and I'm guilty. No matter what. I don't get it. And the other side of that is,

perhaps they really do love each other. as husband and wife, and wouldn't want the appearance, and don't want to have any kind of experience like that without them being together. So I don't, I mean, it just doesn't, doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Now, I will say that I rather enjoyed Dana Lash, as she gave our man from Star Trek

Mr. Mr. A what's a stupid name? Hold on. I've lost the story and I want to make sure I have everything right for you so I don't lose it okay. George Decay, yes, thank you. Oh my God, he got a name right today. You got...

Wow, thank you. Thank you. You got a name right. I give him a correct. She points to another person in the room. No, it wasn't me. Oh, look at me. I didn't do anything right.

Them. That person, them. I know I had the stupid story of Dana giving him a hard time because, of course, George Taked, hey. Mr. Cool, Mr. gay guy, Mr. I'm homosexual, and I can, you know, Say what I want and beat up people all the line. He tweets, Pence won't have dinner alone with a woman who's not his wife. Literally, he won't.

Ever. No woman in her right mind would sit through that. Come on, George. So I will say that Dana slapped him down a little bit nicely, which made me very happy. If you want Pence to stay out of your relationships, try staying out of his. Amen.

Amen. How about that? George. How about that? And see, we can get serious. I don't care. You know, do I want to talk about the story in Texas where they want bestiality to be legal? Do I want to talk about that? You know, I love these stories because Texas State Senator wants beastiality to be legal in Texas. No, she doesn't.

She wants to make a point that it's not illegal. So that people can go, it's not illegal? For a cowboy in the middle of nowhere to do a pig? We should make that illegal. Farmers should not be able to do their own donkeys. That's just the way it is. But that's all those stories are, right? I mean, they're funny.

I like them. you know, like the fine, they have the bills for the fines for masturbation, bestiality bills, those are all, all just so people can say, oh my gosh, that's not illegal. You mean that guy I saw outside Kroger in the bushes, he can't be arrested for that? Nope. So just keep walking and shut your face, okay?

So, I mean, we can talk about that. I don't care. We can talk about Italy wants to offer women-paid menstrual leave. We can talk about that. We can talk about that. Coming to America soon. We can talk about, I don't care. We can talk about them, you know, what's going to happen?

You know what's going to happen. All this is just a setup so that we're all going to end up having our, we're going to take all the state's right. We're going to take away all your benefits. which, you know, they'll have to figure out a way to at least save some of them. But they'll take away all those benefits. You don't have to worry about Obamacare or Trump care or Ryan care

because it's just going to be government care. And you'll get your monthly stipend from the government. And the doctor's over there. You can go see the dock and wait in line. Get what you need. Go back to your little apartment. play the Xbox and hang out

go to the bar I have a few drinks not too much so because you don't want to be broke at the end of the month we can talk about all that my wife sent me a link six easy ways men can live longer

and I was touched because she cares about me right and she's sending me stories to you know so that I live longer now one of the ways is get married which

okay we already are. The other one is have kids. Okay, well, we already do. Be responsible. That was a tough one. But I guess it helps me live longer. I can be responsible.

The other one is get a dad bod. Who doesn't have a dad bod? You know. Working out of the gym and all every day. But there's two on the list of the six ways that men can live long. that are, well, I'm all for. The others, get married of kids, be responsible, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a dad bod, yeah, yeah,

have lots of sex, okay. We're not quite sure how lots equals, but I'm willing to figure it out on my own. and the number one way of the six ways that men can live longer is stare at boobs now I'm taking that that's female but I'm willing to give it a shot both ways just to live longer is okay

this is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network this is the Jeff Fisher show right sometimes you have a little faithful people and then they just spoil it for you So, that's all I'm saying. Welcome to the broadcast.

Lawrence Jones, standing by to do his show immediately following this broadcast. And then Mike Slater will step in after Lawrence. And then tomorrow you've got a little David Barton and Bill Handel and Jackie Daly. Then Monday through Friday, of course. Doc Thompson, Glenn Beck. Who's filling in? Oh, yeah, Michael Pelka. And Chris Salcedo with a pat-and-stoo.

And then they run some replay of some. of some show before we play Buck Sexton. Who do we run the replay? Oh, that's right, Opelke. And so, you know, I mean, he's on the network. Whatever. You get enough of mic. And I appreciate him pointing out some of the flaws that we have here at the network this morning.

It was good work by his part. Anyway, thanks for listening to the Blaze Radio Network. We can tell your friends, the Blaze. HotCop slash radio is the place to be 24 hours a day, seven days a week. and then, of course, you can download all those shows. It's, of course, always special. You have Jeffie in your pocket. Oh, yeah.

You're welcome. So I was sent by one of my Facebook peeps at Jeff Fisher Radio, which you should go and like that page. You know, right now is fine. But a Scott Thomas Lesser sent me a link to, interesting, hilarious insults. And they were actually, I'm flipping through these insults. And some of them were actually really, really good.

His mother should have thrown away and kept the stork. Bay West. And, of course, you know, Groucho Mark's the one that everybody knows Groucho for. I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll make an exception. So on April Fool's Day today, I'm going to list you. send you away with great insults. Some cause happiness wherever they go.

Others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat out. Really? Kurt? Yes. That's the way it is.

That's the way he thinks. Elizabeth Taylor, some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. Think about that. And I'm told a fun-known fact in Texas, speaking of dogs and horses, that bestiality, while legal in the state of Texas, which is good news for Texas,

it is illegal to film beastiality. Weird. So much for that selfie I had going. Anyway, have a good week. See you later. Take care. Jeff Fisher show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.