Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 4/15/17 Jeff Fisher Show Hour 3: The Horror of United Airlines and Aaron Hernandez

Episode Date: April 15, 2017

- United Airlines horror story- Tax day falls on Titanic Day- Aaron Hernandez gets a shocking verdict- Eli Manning scandal- Children's book on Communism coming outFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALik...e Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The Blaze Radio Network On Demand. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that is outlawed,
Starting point is 00:00:30 at every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold. Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases.
Starting point is 00:00:58 so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline, 1-800-913-4653. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program now. Stand clear. Life signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network.
Starting point is 00:01:33 over two a month I get paid for Tell them You tell them I'm not kidding Welcome to the broadcast This is the Jeff Fisher show On the Blaze Radio Network 888-9093033
Starting point is 00:01:54 You caught me in the middle of a conversation But I'm just telling you This is how I treat people, okay? You tell them You tell them You tell them I don't care Yes or no
Starting point is 00:02:05 You tell them So We also the United Airlines story is absolutely agonizing. Okay? Let's talk a little bit about that. Just a tad. Now there's some more news that has come out about Dr. Dingleberry.
Starting point is 00:02:27 He now has an attorney, you know, and they are saying that, you know, look, oh, man, we're just going to, he's got a broken nose, a concussion, two knocked-out teeth, sinus problems, may require reconstructive surgery. Shut up. Now, I'm torn on this story so much because I want to hate the airlines with every ounce of my being. I want to.
Starting point is 00:02:58 I want to hate the airlines. But every time I turn around in this story, I'm for the airlines and against this guy. Dr. Tao or Dow, or whatever his silly name is. Dr. David Dow, I got it. Relax. The video that we all saw, the horror of him being dragged off the plane
Starting point is 00:03:25 and being pulled out of his seat and then smashing his face into the side of the seat across the aisle and bloodied and dragged out of the plane. The horror. Do I want that to happen? No, I don't want that to happen. But you knew there was more
Starting point is 00:03:40 to then just that part. Right? And there it is. We see the video. now out where he was sitting there pretty much calmly. I know they reported that he was being, you know, angry and yelling and stuff, but the video I saw, he wasn't a, I mean, he wasn't hollering at all. He was saying, I'm not going.
Starting point is 00:03:59 You're going to have to drag me out. I'm not going. I have to, you know, he's on the phone. I'm talking, I'm not going. He was delayed. I mean, he was being like, I'm not going. I don't care what you tell me. Which makes me want to be on his side.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Right? I mean, you want, come on, now he paid the ticket, he's on the plane, and you want him to leave. Then you go down the other thing, nobody took the money. They offered money to replace the seats. Nobody took the money. And you say, well, why didn't they go up higher and higher on the money? Federal regulations won't let them. Huh.
Starting point is 00:04:35 A federal regulation. There's a surprise. Now I'm back on, you know, now I'm back on the airlines, maybe until the guys side a little bit. the people that really pissed me off on the other people on the plane all those people that oh what are you doing oh my god what are you doing it's so horrific if you're so pissed that they're dragging this guy off the plane where were you the last 10 minutes when he was sitting there calmly saying I'm a doctor I don't have I'm not going to get off the plane I'm not going
Starting point is 00:05:06 I don't I got paid my ticket I've been delayed I'm not going if that's so horrific to you why didn't you stand up why didn't you take this place why weren't you, you know what, why weren't you just like, you know what? I'll get off. No problem. Doc, you get home, I'll get off. You know what, I'll get off. We're done.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Nobody did that. Not one person. So get over your high horse on the rest of the air people over it. All the rest of you people on the airplane flying. I understand. Trust me, I do. I wouldn't get off either. However, in the end,
Starting point is 00:05:45 when you're at the point of no return and you take your bet, look, we're going to, you get the random pick, and if nobody else is going to go, we're going to do it randomly by the computer. There's so many, and I forget what their deal is, how they pick the amount of people for the randomness, but, you know, it isn't everyone on the plane, but it's most of them or a third of them, gets thrown into a hat and you get picked.
Starting point is 00:06:14 But you know the deal. So at that point, when you get to that point, your number comes up, you're like, that freaking sucks. And you grab your bag and you walk off the plane, right? And you go up to the counter and you go, this is bull crap. Give me my $1,300 and give me my hotel. And, you know, I'll wait to get another flight. Oh, I'm sorry, sir, we're so sorry. You're so sorry.
Starting point is 00:06:44 How about you stick that sorry up? And you move on from there. Right? I mean, that's where you're at. and the old doctor now would not do that. So within their rights, you know, the airport security, airline security, whatever the heck they were, Chicago Aviation Authority Police, drag him off. Now they've said now they're going to stop doing that. How are you going to get people off the plane then?
Starting point is 00:07:09 If they won't get off the plane, how are you going to get people off the plane? Shoot them? We didn't drag him. Didn't drag him. Just put him. He's shot a hit bullet in his head carried him off. How are you going to get him off to play?
Starting point is 00:07:25 I mean, if I know that the end game that you're not going to drag me off, I'm not getting off. What are you going to do? You can't, you know, you can't drag me off. You're not going to shoot me. You can't drag me off.
Starting point is 00:07:42 What are you going to do? Now, the only thing that goes there is that then the airline just cancels the entire flight, right? No problem. Everybody off the plane. And now you've got, out of, you know, 350 people looking at you.
Starting point is 00:07:57 The aviation authority may not be dragging you off, but 350 other people will be dragging your ass down the airline all way. So I'm really torn. I'm torn on the story so bad, I can't tell you. I want to hate the airline so bad. And United has kind of paid a price. They dealt with it horrifically. Their CEO should be fired over this.
Starting point is 00:08:20 He's dealt with it horrifically. He's the CEO of an. airline. He should be able to respond and react to something like this better than he has. And now United is ripe for the picking, right? I saw a story last night where somebody claims that they were stung by a scorpion on a United flight, and it dropped down. They were eating. It was on his head, fell on his food, stung them, whatever the deal was. I mean, they're ripe for the picking. If you're flying United, and I can't believe that, look, it hasn't hurt them that much. It really hasn't. When we looked at the stock prices the other day,
Starting point is 00:08:53 they were down the stock prices were back up to like a dollar below what it was before the drag off and it dropped down like 10 bucks or something after the drag off but it was still higher than what it was a year ago so it hasn't hurt them that much okay they're not they're not bad plus if you're flying be honest don't look at me like that just be honest you walk up to the counter and you say i need a flight to Atlanta and they go, well, I've got one on, I got one here on American for $1,800. I've got one here on Southwest, but you've got to go to a different airport to get that flight. You can get that one for $250.
Starting point is 00:09:38 All right, get you on this United one that's leaving in about 15 minutes for $450. Which one you pick it? Well, United has been in the news lately. Give me the $1,800 ticket, please. No, sorry, not going to happen. and you know it's not going to happen. You're flying United. And you know, in today's world, you can't even get out a plane and look cross-eyed.
Starting point is 00:10:02 If you look cross-eyed at them and they don't like you, they kick you off the plane. You're done. They shut it down. So this doctor fighting for his, I'm not getting off, I mean, I understand it. I do. I do. I understand it. Had he, I don't know what could have been.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I think every, you know, the whole thing is just a cluster. The whole thing is just a cluster. But it just seems like, you know, everything is dealt with wrong. And the airlines all do it because they know what are you going to do? They always will be in the right, no matter what. And I wish I could tell you that when I was angry at them that I got thrown in jail so that I could tell you that experience. But my experience is my wife saved me from getting thrown in jail.
Starting point is 00:10:55 because she put her hand as I would have been in jail and I understand a little bit of what the doctor kind of feels like when I had that airside door shut in my face I still can't get over that and that was three years ago now I just looked at the trip
Starting point is 00:11:16 Facebook posted a memory picture in Boise, Idaho and that was the trip where the American airline I ran to the airside to get there on time to catch the flight she looks right at me Loses the door.
Starting point is 00:11:33 She is fortunate that my wife, we celebrated our 15th anniversary this week, my loving wife was there to put her hand on me and say, don't. Otherwise, American Airlines would have been hiring because they would have been one less employee alive. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network.
Starting point is 00:11:57 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now. learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold. Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases. So buy with confidence. Read goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline. 3-4653. The Jeff Fisher Show returns on the Blaze Radio Network.
Starting point is 00:13:27 That it does. I'm reminded during the break that the Delta now says that they're going to be offering more money for it to get people off the plane to make the deals, which I'm all for. At some point it becomes viable, right? No matter what. Even on this plate, when you reach a point, everybody says no, no, no, no, no, they've been on. You've been delayed. You want to get home. You're finally on a plane. And you just keep going.
Starting point is 00:13:48 At some point, the money becomes viable, right? You reach a point where it's like $600. No, but it's not worth it. I've got to get home. It's not worth $600. It doesn't do anything for me. $1,200, $1,500, $1,200, $2,022. At some point you reach where, you know what,
Starting point is 00:14:09 I'm feeling sick and don't have to be to work tomorrow. I'll have to be there on Tuesday. I'll take that $2,500 and I'm off, right? At some point you reach that, which would have happened. The people that ticked me off on this plane United, the Dr. Dow flight was, you know, the people that, oh my God, look it. Look at it. They're filming on their phone.
Starting point is 00:14:29 But they weren't getting their ass out of their seat. They didn't give it up for him the five minutes or ten minutes before when he was sitting there saying, I'm not going to go. You're just going to have to take me. I'm not getting off the plane. I want to get home. Right? So I'm torn because I want to be for him. I hate the airlines.
Starting point is 00:14:48 But the airline, you know, the deal was the deal. and then I'm reminded of him being the jerk of running back onto the plane. I mean, he's lucky he didn't get shot. He's talking about getting dragged off the plane and getting a broken nose and having a tooth knocked out. He's like he's not pulling a bullet out of his skull. They walking him off the plane and then he runs back on the plane?
Starting point is 00:15:10 Why don't they just shoot him right then? And you know what happened. He's walking off the plane. They're taking him down the runway, the little thing that hooks onto the plane. And they got probably toward the end, and he relaxed, and they relaxed. It was over, right? We're done with it.
Starting point is 00:15:26 You know you're getting off the plane now. We've got you off. We'll get you some help for your face. We'll get the blood off your face. You know, we'll take care of it. Sorry about that. That was an accident. Everybody knows it was an accident.
Starting point is 00:15:37 We get you taken care of. And everybody let their guard down a little. And he turns around and runs back out of mine. I mean, shoot him, right? At that point, he's lucky he didn't get shot. that's why I think he's got, I mean, the only reason he's got any kind of case at all because he, you know, you see him getting dragged out of the seat.
Starting point is 00:16:00 But the rest of the story around it is all for the airlines, man. Good for them. Do it. But you should be able to go up to whatever price they want because the airlines may using, they're, look, to pay you $10,000 to get off that plane and give you a hotel room until they get you another flight out.
Starting point is 00:16:23 They still, that's saving them hundreds of thousands of dollars because the pilots have to get to a flight that's full of people that they're waiting on to get out, right? I mean, that's why they're kicking people off so these pilots can get to that destination and hop on another plane
Starting point is 00:16:38 that's full of people and fly that out, right? So the domino effect happens. So your $10,000 has well spent. So, you know, they should be doing that. But the guy, Doc, I mean, Doc, what are you doing? Okay? What are you doing? So I haven't mentioned today, April 15th, the usual tax day here in America.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yay! Yay! Oh, man, do I love taxes in the IRS? We are like, wow. We are like butter as to bread, me and the IRS. I love them, and they love me. It's also actually not tax day This year
Starting point is 00:17:25 Monday the 17th is the official tax day this year Because of the 15th landing on the weekend So they spread it gave you a couple more days To make sure you've got your paperwork filled out right That's so nice of them And it's also The anniversary of Titanic You don't even have to say Titanic sinking
Starting point is 00:17:49 You just know Titanic and you know it sunk over. Now, this is the 105th anniversary of Titanic, and really the 106. I mean, it was launched a year earlier. It put out to sea and sunk on April 15th. So, you know, I mean, it was a year older than what it was. But today is the anniversary of the sinking 105 years ago. Wow, amazing, right? early morning, April 15th, 1912.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And what's kept it alive, really, is the movie, right? I mean, the blockbuster, Titanic, right? Kept it alive, kept the story alive, and it was so great with it. And you're reminded of how the unsinkable, the unsinkable Titanic. is going to sick. This is bad. Water, 14 feet above the keel in 10 minutes. In the 4 peak, in all three holes, and in border room 6.
Starting point is 00:19:10 That's right, sir. When can we get underway, damn it? That's five compartments. Damn it! She can stay afloat. Act, The first four compartments breach, but not five. Let's get underway.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Not five. As she goes down by the head, the water will spill over. the tops of the bulkhead. At E-deck from one to the next, back and back. There's no stopping it. The pump. We open the door.
Starting point is 00:19:34 The pumps by your time, but minutes only. Minutes. From this moment, no matter what we do, Titanic will founder. But these ship can't see. She's made of iron, sir. I assure you, she can. And she will.
Starting point is 00:19:51 It is a mathematical certainty. Think about it. I just realized that both documentaries that I've shared with you so far today, legally blonde documentary and the Titanic documentary. Both have the same actor in them. Victor Garber. That's fantastic.
Starting point is 00:20:09 I mean, this guy is great. I didn't realize that until actually. I was sitting here going, that's the same stupid guy. Victor Garber. I mean, some have been in some of the most memorable, I'll just read his IMDB page right here for you. Victor Garber has been in some of the most memorable projects
Starting point is 00:20:27 of the past four decades. Now they imagine he's currently appearing in the slap. The Flash, okay, motive and web therapy will soon star and grow. This is all his new stuff, so what? Nobody cares about your new stuff. Your new stuff blows. Oh, except for the Flash. My son loves the Flash.
Starting point is 00:20:46 But, I mean, he's got a lot of good stuff. But those two, I mean, those two documentaries alone set him apart from most actors. Legally blonde and Titanic. I mean, those two, you could pretty much set the world straight with those two documentaries. If you were to study those two documentaries, your life would be fine and the world would be okay. It's very simple. So anyway, Titanic 105 years old.
Starting point is 00:21:10 And I'm looking at, oh, they brought Oliver back. Oh, no, that's just the picture of the thing. They've stopped the live stream. What? The Baby Giraff. Stream has been stopped. What are they doing to that giraffe? What's going on? Because the last time I checked, Oliver the dad was out of his little square prison cell, and mom was in there all by herself with the child with the one fat lady in the corner that was watching the giraffe.
Starting point is 00:21:39 I don't know who she is. Must be the zoo lady. But anyway, the baby looked safe and fine and is up walking around, stumbling around. So, yay, it was real. They weren't lying to us. The Jeff Fisher Show, the Blaze Radio Network. on the Blaze Radio Network. That it is. Welcome to it. 888-90-303-33 is the phone number. Interesting that Aaron Hernandez, Aaron Hernandez,
Starting point is 00:22:30 from the formerly of the New England Patriots, was on track to be maybe Hall of Fame material. In fact, when he was at Florida, I believe the quote was when they drafted him, he's either going to be in the Hall of Fame or in prison. And so that was a pretty good call. Pretty good call. I'm not sure who to give that quote to, but that was the story, and I believe that they were 100% correct since he is serving a life term. He was still on the Patriots when my son played for the Patriots, and he was
Starting point is 00:23:07 there. It was surprising. My son talked about him. He was always the last guy at the facilities, and he was always on his cell phone, and this was when this was all going down. So he was really trying to get things short up. And so he's already serving a life sentence for the 2013 murder. But yesterday, the NFL former NFL star was found not guilty. And everybody, you know, oh, he's guilty, guilty, guilty. He was found not guilty.
Starting point is 00:23:44 two counts of murder, and he faced eight counts in all, including two murder, three of armed assault, and also faced a charge of witness intimidation, where Leslie's shooting his former friend in the face. He'd an attempt to silence him. I mean, that's what you do, right? You want to silence somebody, you shoot him in the face, clearly. Or you just hit him in the top of the head. So the jury comes back. and they went on, I could play the whole thing for you, the whole court case.
Starting point is 00:24:21 I'm fascinated by how courtrooms work, and I really, I mean, I should have been an attorney. I love the way the courtrooms work. But it's for most people and for most humans, it's absolutely boring, which is why attorneys who are not boring in the courtroom are the big time paid off attorneys that make all kinds of cash. Because the rest of the attorneys are like, I have a court. question this concerning case number 0.0200, 00, A, B, X, 2,500.
Starting point is 00:24:53 We have submitted, Your Honor, the particular point of evidence was submitted yesterday under B, A, D, D, D, 2, TFC. Yes, Your Honor. I would like to ask the client, I mean, it's just agonizing. Just agonizing. So, I can't take it. And then when they go through to read the charges,
Starting point is 00:25:16 I don't know if you've ever been on a jury, but the jury that I was once on, you know, you have to, you stand there and you're the foreman, and you have to go, they go through the whole list of charges and you have to respond to each charge. And I get it. That's, you know, that's part of the deal of the courtroom. But it's kind of boring. So after they get done reading, you know, charge number one of, you know, how does the jury find guilty or not guilty? Not guilty. We hear that. a bunch and then he got they did throw in the illegal weapons charge so after we heard
Starting point is 00:25:55 not guilty after we heard that and then you kept they went through some more cases and we heard that one more time not guilty she's that's why she was on a jury man it's just slow
Starting point is 00:26:12 you can't sometimes you can't find good help and they reached the illegal weapons charged because heaven for me oh my god we've charged you with all this crime but let's not forget to charge you with illegally having a weapon so of course we have to come back with a guilty of the offense is charged yeah we got one guilty charge for that so they threw in another five or six years on top of his life sentence
Starting point is 00:26:36 but you that one hurt you're in prison for life and five years we're not even letting you leave this prison until you go to jail for when you die five more years But it was a shocking look on many of the people's faces when they first heard the... Not guilty. Whoa. They were, and they were shocked. And then they heard it again?
Starting point is 00:27:01 Not guilty. A little bit more shocked. And then they heard it again? A little bit more shocked. Yeah, oh, man. So, and when it came down to the weapons charge and they got to hear... Guilty of the offense is charged. They were like, oh.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I mean, they were, finally, something. They're grabbing onto something. So, I mean, there you go, Aaron Hernandez, not guilty. I'm sorry, Aaron Hernandez. Guilty of the offense is charged. Just one, though. I mean, just one, though. The rest of him, he was.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Not guilty. Thank you. Another NFL star, who was still an NFL star, not a former NFL star, Eli Madding, about huge trouble over something that we don't even know if it's true or not. I mean, Eli is in trouble because they claim he's using false memorabilia. So he sends out this email earlier this month to his equipment manager. And it says he asked for two helmets that can pass as game used.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Okay, so why doesn't Eli? Okay, so let's just think about this for a second. You get a helmet signed by Eli Manning or Manning, whatever you want to call him. You get a helmet by Eli, and it's signed. And it says, Eli Manning, you know, whatever the heck his number is for the Giants, 10, I think it is, whatever the hell the stupid number is for the Giants. And, you know, whatever the thing is. It was worn in, you know, game two, the game that I, you know, we won 40 to 40, whatever.
Starting point is 00:28:55 If Eli said it was worn in the game, it was worn in the game, right? So now they're saying, well, he can pass it. Game warning, he was lying. That's fraud. Okay, so if he stands on the field, let's say he stands on the field, goes out, stand on the field, and he has 10 helmets, right? and it's just before the start of the third quarter and he's got ten helmets and he puts one on
Starting point is 00:29:23 and he catches a ball and he throws a ball. He takes it off, puts another one on, catches a ball and throws a ball, takes one off, catches a ball and throws a ball. He does that ten times. Those are now game-worn helmets, right? Are you serious you're going to invest this guy for fraud for that? Stop it. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:29:45 On top of which, I mean, It was all part of some kind of deal that he had with his, you know, I don't know how many millions he makes for this, but it's, I mean, it's laziness on his part not to do, not to take 10 helmets out and throw the pass with the helmet on so that he can say that it's game worn, right? I mean, seriously. Date it. Date the inside of it so you know this is the game that it was worn on and send it back into the locker room. I mean, it's just laziness on his part, not doing that. But I'm sure that's the way. No, no worry about it, Eli.
Starting point is 00:30:17 I'll get you some of the helmets. They're game war. Don't worry about it. Just remind me, send me an email. And now he's going to get a dick for that. That's too bad. And Governor Christie, you can take a hike too. Mr. He should have been guilty for your little bridge gate and the rest of your crimes.
Starting point is 00:30:33 No wonder you're one of the lowest ranked governors that the people like in the country, today's world. He gets on the radio and starts blasting Eli. Well, first of all, he lives in New Jersey. Why not? He makes all kinds of money from the Giants in New Jersey, but heaven forbid he liked the team. Comes down here and plays butt buddy with Jerry Jones for the Dallas Cowboys, agonizing. But he, Chris Christie, ripped Manning and the Giants on WFAN,
Starting point is 00:31:00 calling Manning a liar. I call him a liar. He got caught, Christy said. He got caught. And then he said, Could you ever imagine Peyton, his big brother, involved in this? No, definitely not. Peyton's smarter than that. Shut up, Chris.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Shut up. I mean, I can't take it. I can't take it. So I realize that it's fraud. I got it. It's fraud. But is it really? Is it?
Starting point is 00:31:44 I question that. I question that. There's not much difference, and I'll give you that the fraud is, you know, that's what the crime is, it's the fine line. But there's, you know, not much difference from Eli actually just touching a helmet and saying, yep, I wore this here, and here you go, than him putting it on for 10 seconds and throwing a football and saying, yep, I wore it during this game and signing it.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I mean, those 10 seconds are going to cost him millions. Come on now. Come on. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. And we also have great news. Great news for the children. The children, because of MIT, the MIT press,
Starting point is 00:32:28 the prestigious MIT press, has now published a book aimed at children. And it's titled Communism for Kids. Boy, you want to have some good, some nice. Nighttime reading with you and the kids. There's nothing like sitting down and reading about communism. Don't tell you that. Once upon a time, once upon a time people yearned to be free of the misery of capitalism.
Starting point is 00:33:04 How could their dreams come true? This little book proposes a different kind of communism, one that is true to its ideals and free from authoritarianism. offering relief for many who have been numbed by Marxists. Yeah, man, there is nothing I want more than to snuggle up with the kids. Come on, kids, it's time to go to bed. Time to read a little bit more of your communism for kids' book. Oh, man, you just will never get those times back.
Starting point is 00:33:41 You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show, the Blaze Radio Network. is the Jeff Fisher Show. That it is. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. Lawrence Jones standing by. He's ready to take over the helm here on the Blaze Radio Network and then Mike Slater immediately after him. Happy Easter. For those of you that will be out giving thanks this weekend, be safe with your families and enjoy each other. And once you're done and you're sitting around the dining room table and you have the whole family there, it's always nice to have a couple of jokes to tell. So I'm going to tell you a little couple of family jokes, just to, you know, ease a little bit of the family pressures,
Starting point is 00:34:42 because sometimes, you know, all families don't really know what to say to each other. So one, I don't want to call them an Easter joke, but we'll just say one weekend joke that you could tell around the dining room table is a woman stops by on an ounce at her son's house and she knocks on the door and walks in. She's shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch totally naked. Soft music is playing, candles are lit, and the aroma, perfume, fills the room. What are you doing? I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work. But you're naked. This is my love dress. The daughter-in-law answers. Love dress, but you're naked.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Jeff loves me and wants me to wear this dress. It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and can't get enough of me. The mother-in-law leaves inspired. When the mother-in-law gets home, she undresses showers, puts on her best perfume, dibs the lights, put on a romantic CD and lays on the couch, expecting waiting her husband. Finally, husband comes home. He walks in, sees her lying there provocatively. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:35:46 This is my love dress. Needs ironing. What's for dinner? He never heard the gunshot. All right? So I'll tell you, here's another one you can share as, similar to that for your Easter dinner, after dinner, tales for the family.
Starting point is 00:36:05 couple is together. They've been together for a long, long time, and the wife is in the bedroom, standing in front of the full-length mirror, naked, husband laying on the bed. The wife is looking in the mirror, and she saw my arms are starting to get flabby. My breasts are starting to sag. Look at this, look at my, my butt is starting to sag. I've got wrinkles on my arms.
Starting point is 00:36:37 my stomach is coming together like this a little bit more. I'm really starting to feel bad about myself, and she turns to ask her husband, look, and I really say something nice about me. I need you to say something nice about me. Still got your eyesight. You use that tomorrow on me. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:37:01 You're welcome. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the family. Bless you. And if no one has told you that you look good today, you do. You in particular look great. I mean that. You look good.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Don't let anybody tell you different. All right? You look great. I wouldn't necessarily wear that all day, though. You're not going to necessarily wear that out, are you? Because, whoof, you're planning on wearing that out. You might think twice. Have a good Easter.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Happy Easter. Thanks for coming along for the ride today. I'll see you later. Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.