Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 5/13/17 Jeff Fisher Show Hour 3: Robots Continue Their Domination Plans

Episode Date: May 13, 2017

-Robots continue their eventual domination of the human race- Workplaces looking to enhance pleasure for employees- Jeffy's Guide to Parenting- Bald men are better men- Ebola update- Best man on the street requestsFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALike Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Blaze Radio Network On Demand. 2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies. Several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician

and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now, and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding gold. Call 1-800-913-gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-4653. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases,

so buy with confidence. Read Goldline's important risk information and find out a buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline, 1-800-913-4653. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program. Now. Stand clear. Life signs stable.

It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. I wouldn't want my computer to work. I know I opened up the link of Sweet Brown. It could have been it. Why is it not working? We work for an internet company.

Okay. I'm sorry. Welcome to the broadcast. Hi. How are you? If you'd like to participate, 888-9033-93 is the phone number. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride. You can follow me, you know, on Twitter.

At Jeff EMRA. Facebook is Jeff Fisher Radio, and Instagram is at Jeff EMRA as well. You know today we've covered a lot of ground. We've taken some requests, and we've studied a little bit. I was just looking up some things on the Internet that I wanted to help share with you,

you know, this hour, as we wrap up the program today, before Lawrence Jones takes the helm, and he's standing by outside waiting to take over his show. Noon to 3, Eastern on the Blaze Radio Network. but when I move my mouse on the on the internet

for on my laptop it won't work breathe so we'll take your request at 888 900-3033 93 for the top TV news clips

and not we want the TV man or woman on the street clips or I should say just person on the street clips I don't know what those people identify as. I don't want to, you know, throw them off curve. Now, we have a several. We have a man from Las Vegas. We have Antoine Dobson. We have Linda Hopkins. And we have Kimberly, sweet brown Wilkins, but I believe it's now my new favorite human being on Earth. And that's a, I mean, Kimberly Sweet Brown, I'm sorry, Kimberly Sweet Brown Wilkins. You know, that story's, you know, that story's

been around for a while too. So hopefully she's, you know, gotten better from her Brockitis that smoke brought up. So if you have, and now, and again, we had a request for Hank Johnson, and that request was denied. And it was denied because that's, you know, that's a news clip. That's a sound bite from an actual happening thing in the news. These reports that I'm talking about are comments about. an actual news story. Live men on the street, they all do it. Every local news station does it.

It's okay. I mean, that's how they make their living. That's how Joe becomes a reporter, and then someday he'll be at the anchor spot. I went out and I interviewed people all over the city, and now it's my turn to sit at the desk on the weekends and tell people, let's go to Bill Johns, who's out in Las Vegas talking to people

about what would they do with the eight-day-old? billion dollar lottery winnings if they win. Can I ask you if you want all the money, what would you do with it? Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Oh, okay, that's not good. We want to look for a different answer. That's probably not the answer that we're looking for. Oh, yes, it is.

And she damn well knows it. She darn well knows it. However, that's what you get, right? Good for them. And then now we've got Antoine Dobson in Oklahoma City, a person on the street. because, hey, you've got these crimes going on to your neighborhood. What do you think about it? Well, obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park.

He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching your people up trying to rape them so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and had your hugs because they're raping anybody out here. See? Those are a person on the street interviews that are tremendous. And then we have one of my all-time favorites from Providence, Rhode Island, Linda Hopkins.

who was a person on the street. The newscast went out and they were talking about the potato band. I'll never forget the potato bandit. Never. Linda has seared the potato bandit in my head. And excuse me, ma'am. Have you heard about the potato bandit here in the neighborhood? I heard it on the news.

And I said it was ridiculous, man. That's it. Yeah, this is Billy Bob reporting live from downtown fire It looks like there's a building fire At the fourth and third

We have a person Now looking that has just come out of the building The standing on this side of the street Excuse me ma'am Are you familiar with the building that's burning? Well, I woke up to go Give me a cold pop Then I thought somebody was barbecue

I said, oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire Then I ran out I didn't grab no shoes or nothing Jesus, I ran for my life. And then the smoke got me. I got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that. Number one.

Right now, Kimberly, sweet Brown Wilkins is at the top of the list. Linda Hopkins, I love you. I do. Although I might break them into categories because Kimberly tells the story. Linda is just reacting to knowing about the story. because she I heard it on the news and I said it was ridiculous man

that's it I have news for you those two Linda Hopkins and Kimberly Sweet Brown Wilkins will never get old I don't care if right now you're driving

you're listening you're sitting there drinking your coffee at home you're chuckling to yourself going Jeff has played those enough no those clips can never if you've played enough. Jody in Utah, you have a request for the All-Request weekend on the Jeff Fisher Radio program?

Yes, it's, I think it's out of Atlanta, Georgia, and Peaches is relating the story of Boo Got Shot to the camera crew. It is hysterical. Really? Yes.

I don't know that I remember Peaches in Atlanta. All right, we'll find it out. Thanks for calling, Jody. I appreciate it. We'll try to get it on for you. Do we have peaches? No? Okay. Because I, man, I do not remember peaches. I hope peaches is good, but we'll try to get it on for you. All right. So, as I was getting into the hour, I'm trying to think, what am I going to be talking to you guys about? And there's really, I would love to be able to talk to you a little bit about some of the robot stories that I have. I've got some tremendous robot stories. And a couple of them I have in front of me.

and a couple of them I have on the internet that won't work. Now, while I've read the stories, I don't have the exact specifics, so I don't want to share them with you, but just know that the story is, look, the robots are already here, all right? Yes, they can learn from each other. Yes, they're building, but there is no crisis. and those of you that are concerned about the robots being here and taking over our jobs, they're already here.

And it goes down a list of what the robots are handling already. And we had a man on the Glenbeck radio program, Yvald Noah Harare, wrote a book called Homodews, a brief history of tomorrow. And in that book, he talks about the future. He spends a lot of time talking about the past and how we got here, but he also talks, talks about the future. And while we talk to him, he was fascinating. I've been meeting, I've been told by, you know, the guy that runs this joint,

whatever his name is, you know, Glenn, back, whatever his name is. He's been after me to, you know, all of us to read this book. And so I may have to do that for vacation because I really want to, after we interviewed him, I really do want to read it. But he talked about, we're teaching our children all wrong. The education system is set up to have our children, young adult children, and really young children fail. We need to teach them to be, it isn't all about find a job and work at it forever, or plan on finding a job and then moving on to another job.

It's also reinventing yourself to do different things and be ready to change and adapt. And we need to rethink the way that we are educating our children. And I don't disagree. And if I could, get out of the internet! I'd share you some of the things that the robots are already here, but that's okay. Because I want you to know that those of you that are still in the workplace, very, very cool things are happening in the workplace. And what you say is happening in the workplace.

Okay, I'll tell you. You ready? Nobody's having sex anymore. That's what's happening. Okay. During the week, during your work week, nobody is having sex anymore. Very sad. Research shows that weekends are the prime time for between the sheets action, particularly

Sunday. Hey, that's tomorrow. Tomorrow's Mother's Day. Yeah, something to look forward to. Sunday is very popular day for buying condoms and a British study of 2,000 people. I found that Sunday morning was the most popular time during the week to get frisky. Followed by Saturday coming in at number two, Saturday.

Whether you're doing it on the weekends and during the week, however, may have to do it with whether you're in a relationship single women were most likely to have sex on Monday and Thursday. Now, I don't know what you read into that, but what I read into that is, that's when they're having an affair with the married guy. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. And maybe, you know, look, it could be men, too, men with women as well.

And I'm not just saying men have affairs. But if you're in a relationship and you're only having sex on the weekends because that's when you have to be together, right? But during the week, you're both at work. You're with the girlfriend or boyfriend. I'm not sure that was in the data that was compiled, but I'm telling you that's the Jeff Fisher study. And that's the truth. And those of you that are at work saying, well, I'm single and I'm not cheating. with anyone

or I'm married and I'm not cheating with anyone I'm just tired and I wouldn't mind getting frisky during the week but I'm just so tired and I don't know what to do. Aha. Well fortunately psychologists

believe they've found a great way to combat the stress of your job. Yes, they do. Psychologists say self-love should just just be conducted in your bedroom at night.

Instead, doing it while at work could provide an escape route from stressful days. So, instead of keeping the self-love strictly to your bedroom on lonely nights, you should think about doing it while you're at work. So be prepared for your workplace to have those self-love rooms. I know I am. While using such a pastime as an escape, perhaps from your boss who is constantly breathing down your neck, would provide similar benefits. A psychology lecturer at Nottingham Trent University, Mark Sargent, made the controversy suggestion in a piece for Metro this year. He told the website that it would be very effective at work and considered it to be a great way to relieve tension.

And, get this, his claim is. were backed up by a life coach. So you've got a psychology lecturer from Trent University who did a piece in a website piece, Metro, and his claims about

self-love and work. We're backed up by a life coach from Wales. So, so, I would expect, fact, a masturbation policy, to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling.

Certainly taking a break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus. But he did have concerns for those who take longer to have the ending, as this could cause them to be frustrated. Breaks over! You done yet? I mean, that's going to be tough. Ah, she's always in there. She never comes out of that place.

You never get any work done around here. She's always in the self-love room. They've found that 94% of men admit to self-love as to 85% of women. And that is something even babies do from time to time. No, babies are just exploring there. babies are just exploring. They're, what's what you're doing. You're just exploring.

Uh-huh. But despite its proven benefits, old rumors that it can leave people blind or infertile, often scares people from self-pleasure. Wait. It makes you go blind? I have these glasses on. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blaze Radio Network.

2017 is going to be a volatile economic year. We may see politicians throughout the world attempting to control central bank policies, several renowned financial analysts have warned that political interference in central bank policies may mean our economic misses of inflation and growth targets. Gold is an international currency that can't be issued or controlled by governments. If you don't have the only hard currency that has outlasted every politician and every failed idea of governments for centuries, you need to speak to Goldline right now and learn how easy it is to add gold to your portfolio or IRA. Now is the time to diversify your financial portfolio by adding

gold. Call 1-800-913 gold. Buying real gold is easy and fast at Goldline. And you're going to be happy that you finally made the call. 1-800-913-46-53. Goldline also offers price protection against short-term market fluctuations on qualifying purchases. So buy with confidence.

Read Goldline's important risk information and find out of buying gold is right for you. Call Goldline 1-800-913-4653. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Oh. Yes, that's what I wanted to talk about. Okay, so I'm in Kroger. And they're doing well, by the way.

I mean, you looked at it. I've got a ton of stories talking about how choppers are abandoning whole foods and Kroger's is growing, how Kroger's is now going to give you go up against one of the sponsors on this network, Blue Apron. They'll never win that. but they're going to, you know, so you have the meals already prepared. And there's several Kroger's in this neck of the woods that, I mean, they're the biggest chain. And they're growing, I mean, some of the Kroger's are, some of them are old.

They're just a grocery store. Others have everything. Others are like Kroger Mart. And, you know, so they're nice. And, you know, my daughter can go there and get her little pink drink from Starbucks or her passion tea. And you do some shopping, it's fine. Love them. They're very happy with Kroger's.

However, the other day I'm in Kroger, if you are a parent and you have a child, that you allow to sit up on the window ledge in front of where everybody is checking out and put his foot up on the little quarter horse ride, the little horse that you can ride up front, and shake it and push his feet out of like crazy and sit there. and, hey, mom, over here, mom over here, I'm out here. You know, and also remind them that they can be seen. There is no invisible cloak.

They can be seen. So, and this is going to turn into a health tip. It's going to turn into a friendly health tip from me. This is a reason why, when you go to grocery stores, you want to hose down the shopping carts. Remind the children. that when they scratch themselves in there behind, as they're sitting up on this window ledge,

as he puts his hand down the back of his pants, scratches for about 10 seconds, and then pulls his hand out and nonchalantly slides his hand up to smell his fingers, like he thinks no one can see him. I did. Maybe I have my ultrasonic vision on. Maybe I didn't spend enough time in the self-love room.

but I'm not blind. If I catch one of my children, this is just me. This is kind of a health tip for my children. I just bring this home and play it for them. You know, posterity. If I catch one of my children, scraping their butt,

smelling it, and then touching shopping carts and other things at the grocery store, they will have to live life without a hand. Go ahead. Call the Housing Authority. Call the Children's Port Authority. I don't know.

Whoever the hell you call, call them. But that's going to happen. That's going to happen. What happened to you? I was picking my butt and then I smelled it and touched some stuff in a shopping cart until my dad cut my hand off. Oh, okay. Go ahead.

Get out of here. Stop complaining. I was everything I had not to say something. I wanted to say something so bad. And the problem is that I go with my wife, and she keeps me in mind. It tells me I can't say stuff. Not fun.

The Jeff Fisher Show, a blaze radio network. The Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 888-903-33 is the phone number. I cannot believe that the show is in the final 30 minutes already. Amazing. amazing to me. I know some of you may be sitting back at your coffee table going,

it's not amazing to us, thank God. You didn't think it would ever end. But for me, it was fast. I appreciate it very much that you came along for the ride today. Thank you so much. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter at Jeff EMRA, Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio, Instagram at Jeff EMRA.

So I have one story here that talks about a new study that revealing bald men are stronger, smarter, sexier. Now, for years, I shaved my head. Now, does that mean since I can't shave my head anymore? When I say can't, I mean I've been ordered by someone who believes that they're in charge of me called. What is she called again? What is she called again? Oh, yeah, my wife and mother.

Happy Mother's Day, by the way. I already got her a Mother's Day presence. to start with me. You know, look at me like that. Okay. Okay, so I have to go out and take the kids out and get something quick today from them. But I already took care of it. And so that I made her buy it herself

because she really wanted it. So, happy freaking Mother's Day. Okay? Anyway, I love you, baby. I think she bought that? I, uh, and so she, you know,

when she met me, I was practically, bald. I was shaving my head. Now she claims she doesn't like me bald like that. So I would shave my head in a heartbeat. I love it. It's so much easier to care for. And now it proves that it made me so much smarter. Just the opposite of

some of the stories you might hear where take away people's hair and they're dumber. They remind those Indian stories. What do they know? But I will say that I may have to shave my head. just do it again. We have to revisit that argument. Because, you know, for a while, I was on, I'm feeling kind of good. I'm on the, I'm on this hardcore simpletloose.com weight loss plan, lifestyle change. I've been doing it for seven days, eight days now. And, uh, I'm down about 15

pounds. I know it's a bucket of water out of the ocean. I got it, but, uh, I love it. simple to lose.com is not necessarily a sponsor of this network however they're kind of a they've been a sponsor of me since i first uh used the program i lost you know about 120 pounds and then uh gained about 8000 back that's only what it felt like and uh so i'm using the dr anderson uh you know take shape for life uh simple to lose dot com i think they're called something else that's what they're going to get mad at me he'll call me he's not to for life anymore. We did.

Okay. No problem, Doc. Settled down. Go back to the beach in Florida, okay? But I love it. And it's feeling good. Looking good, too, Lewis. Another quote from an old movie

that hopefully somebody will remember. Feeling good, Lewis. I just watch that stupid movie. trading places for those of you that don't. Those of you that don't. Anyway. So I'm, I don't,

my producer just mentioned coming to America in my ear. One of the best movies of all time. I mean, if you don't think coming to America is one of the best movies of all time, you're wrong. It's simple. You're wrong. You're wrong.

it's Eddie Murphy. They were all at their best. At their best. And the reason that my, speaking of my wife, Happy Mother's Day, my wife hates that movie. Now she doesn't hate the movie.

What she hates is that for years, my oldest son and me would do nothing but quote that movie. That's what she hates. When she sees the movie, she's reminded of us just quoting the movie and that's I mean that's all we

my son works I mean just for everything it doesn't matter there's not a scene in your own personal life that there isn't a scene from coming to America that will fit your rents do

yeah are you conscious as he rolls down I mean good stuff you boys from Africa you used to that Got a little bit of an insect problem. You boys from Africa used to that. Come on. I mean, there's nothing in that movie that doesn't fit someone's life.

It's fantastic. Right. Come on, Louis Anderson. It's good stuff. And next, the assistant manager. fries. That's good stuff.

The rich guy's soul glow. The rich people, oh, come on. It's just so, Eddie Murphy, every character in that movie plays the part. perfectly. It's great. I mean, I always thought you had sex with your bathers. I know I do.

I mean, it's perfect. Come on. And then they ended with the, with the barbershop, with the scenes from the bicycle. There's just no better movie. That's why Eddie Murphy is actually retired. He did those stupid animal movies,

and Sherry made a little money with that. And he did those stupid, Beverly Hills cop movies. I made a little money with that. I was all just to make some money for the kids. The Coming to America movie was the quintessential movie on life. And I, you know, I might actually make this case. It would be a good case to make.

The quintessential movie on life and just go through coming to America. Because you got a bowl of a suit from a waiter. I said, a waiter. Something wrong with the suit. Waiter says, what's wrong with the suit? I said, try to suit. What does it says, what's wrong with the soup? I said, try the soup.

Waiter says, what's wrong with the soup? I said, try the soup. Where's the spoon? Aha. What do you know from funny, you bastards? See, that's what my wife hates. It's that we do nothing but spend the day. Quoting coming to America.

There's not, I mean, well, we're going to clean up these flowers there. There's just nothing. And there's not a scene. I repeat the entire movie. Repeat the entire movie. And I can almost do that with Trading Space is another great movie. But that's not as good as coming to America. Anyway, that's what my wife hates.

My youngest son is dying to actually watch it. And we will. But it's got to be at a time of my choosing to kind of bypass the anger of another human in the house. Because once he sees it, he's going to be, who's going to clean up these flowers in? And he's going to be the same what they did to that dog.

He'll be quoting the movie. You're a little insect problem. Your boys from Africa are you used to that. And so, you know, life. Life is. Life is.

Coming to America. Bark like a dog. Oh, oh. Ah, you're getting along. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. On the Blaze Radio Network is the Jeff Fisher Show. All right, welcome to it. We've taken your request.

We've got top news clips. So far, I may turn this into a, we've got to create some sort of award show for this and make it happen. But first, one of the things that has happened this week that is, well, it's kind of disheartening, actually. There's been another Ebola outbreak. I don't know if you know this. In the Congo, which could be coming to the United States,

kills at least one in the Congo. Who says? I don't know. Who says? What's up first? No, who? I know who. The World Health Organization.

An outbreak of Ebola in the Democratic Republic, Republic of the Congo. It began in April. And there's been one death. So Ebola could be coming across the ocean again. So because of that, and you know, I care about you and your health. And that's why we tell you about recalls and we tell you about the safety of cleaning shopping carts and grocery stores.

I want you to be able to be safe and be Ebola-free once it comes across the ocean again. Don't lick vomit off the street and I know you don't want to die. So slowly back away from that infected guy. Stay an Ebola free. Stay an Ebola free. Don't eat that raw meat and see we'll all be Ebola free. Keep away from those. Sweary sheets

Keep away from discharge that secrete sand If you want to call me your fear Put down that glass of diarrhea Stay an Ebola free Stay an Ebola free Don't touch others poop and pee And will be Ebola free Just wash your hands and you will see we can be Ebola-free.

While you're singing that this afternoon, you'll know that I helped you. It's a health purpose. It keeps you Ebola-free. All right. So now we have, we've had some requests for the top TV news clips. Something is going on with the internet here at Mercury Studios, but I know my phone all of a sudden just started playing audio now. Oh, I can't find a website on the internet on my laptop.

Why would that be the case? But my phone, hey, let's just start playing audio. I know you're on mute. I know there's no audio sound coming through, but hey, we'll just start playing audio. Okay? Thank you. Can't wait for the robots to run this joint. So we have Linda Hopkins.

We have Sweet Brown, Kimberly Sweet Brown, Wilkins. We have the, we have the Antoine Dobson. We have the man from Las Vegas. We now have a request. We had a request come in for Atlanta boo. And we haven't played Atlanta boo yet. So let's put Atlanta boo into the can. Uh-huh.

She was taking real bad news. Pictures, they got shot. They got shot. I said, hoo-hoo. She said, boo got shot. I said, oh, my God. Oh, my God. We just saw it.

My sister had called somebody. She called my cousin, Pankin, they called her. And Pankin told her that she was on the phone with Pauline. And Chi-Chi, she had left out. And she went down her car. bed out and when she left out then when I heard gunshot again when I heard the gunshot and I seen some boy had running the bill no bet that way he ran that bill and I seen that cause flew off and then I sent a long gun a big old gun in the car

Atlanta boo we got to put in Atlanta boo that's where we need categories because Atlanta boo goes into the same category as Sweet Brown they tell the story of what's happening it's not the hey how do you feel about this going on it's the hey what happened and you get the entire story. So Atlanta boo is not bad. It loses some in the end. It's almost like, okay, enough. You've already said pimp and you've already made us laugh.

Stop telling us the news report. The news guy should have cut her off. Thank you for coming. Bye. So we have, let's go to the man from Las Vegas is next. Because Atlanta boo, we'll probably move her up to, you know, she's probably ahead of this guy. Maybe.

Can I ask, what would you do with it? Bunch of hookers and cocaine. Oh, okay, that's not good. We were hoping for a different answer. That's the problem. Were you hoping for a different answer? Ha ha ha ha. But you didn't get one.

And then we had Anton, Anton Dopsin, in Oklahoma City when I asked about, hey, there's all these crimes going on in your neighborhood. Hey, Antoine. Well, obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's clam. in your windows, he snatching your people up, trying to rape them so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and had your hugs because they're raping anybody out here.

And then we have Linda Dobson, who, I mean, is my favorite. I heard it on the news. That's all right. Let Linda go. Linda can go anytime she wants. She's, I love her. I heard it on the news. And I said it was ridiculous, man.

That's it. See, that's that's it. Linda, what? I mean, it's about the potato. Bandit. It's in Providence. It's great. And then we have Kimberly Sweet Brown. Well, I woke up to go give me a cold pop. Then I thought somebody was barbecue. I said, Oh, Lord, Jesus, it's a fart. Then I ran out. I didn't grab no shoes or nothing, Jesus. I ran for my life. And then the smoke got me. I got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Absolutely the winner. Sweet Brown, Kimberly. We love you. We love you. We love you. you. Fantastic. And trust me, when I can say, honestly, that we are with you. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Okay? Especially if you got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that? Thank you. Welcome to the broadcast. Lawrence Jones standing by. He's actually, he's champing at the bit

trying to get in here to do his show today. I don't know. I must have something to talk about unlike the other shows he does. So listen in and continue because it's probably something he wants to talk about with you today on the Blaz,

Radio Network, noon to three. And then Joe Pags, or Mike Slater, coming up after Lawrence, and then Joe Pags. So you've got Lawrence coming up here. You'll yap at you for two or three hours. And then Mike Slater, he'll tell you something, too. You know, who knows? And then Joe Pags. And then I'll see you back on Monday on the Glenn Beck program at night a.m.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.