Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - 6/24/17 Jeff Fisher Show Hour 3: Oreos And Cheaters

Episode Date: June 24, 2017

- Wilderness survival- Alex Jones named White House press secretary- Jeffy tastes the Jelly Donut Oreo- Professionals most likely to cheat- Grizzly Bears being pulled off endangered species list- Congrats to Rhode IslandFollow Jeffy on Twitter: @JeffyMRALike Jeffy on Facebook: www.facebook.com/JeffFisherRadioFollow Jeffy on Instagram: @jeffymra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Blaze Radio Network On Demand. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program. Now. Stand clear. Signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Welcome to it. 33-93 is the phone number. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. Coming up on this broadcast, I've got some other stories for you. You don't care about this broadcast. I want to tell you about what's coming up on the network.

All right. So immediately following this particular show is a show hosted by Lawrence Jones. Now, Lawrence, apparently, has better things to do. he doesn't care about you. But he does care enough to get someone worthy of you coming in for this broadcast. So co-hosting, I shouldn't say,

we'll just say stepping in, because Lawrence isn't going to be here. So he's not co-hosting with Lawrence. He's going to be filling in. Brad Staggs. Brad Staggs doing the Lawrence Jones. So you won't even be able to tell the difference. You don't even be able to tell it.

If you're listening, you say, I thought Jeffie said that Brad was filling in. And then I'm told that Brad is going to have a co-host as well. I don't know why. He's going to be joined by Brandon Morse from the Blaze today on the Blaze Radio Network. And then Mike Slater, Joe Pags, that's your Saturday lineup on the Blaze Radio Network. Sundays, a brand new lineup on the Blaze Radio Network, starting at 6 a.m., Jackie Daly. Then 8 a.m.

David Barton, Wall Builders. Then 10 a.m. Bill Handle on the law. And then, actually, I got to redo that. I got to think about,

do that Eastern times, right? 6 to 8, Jackie, 8 to 11. David Barton, wall builders, 11 to 2, Bill Handel, 2 to 4,

Yarn Brooks. I mean, is there a reason for you to listen to something else? No? No. The Blaze Radio Network. And Monday through Friday, Doc Thompson, Glenn Beck. Who's after, see, there's Doc, there's Glenn, and then there's Doc and there's Glenn,

and then there's, see, Monday through Friday on the Blaze Radio Network, and there's Doc, there's Glenn, and then before Doc in the morning is a replay of the podcast, Pat and Stu show from the day before. And then before that is a replay of the Glenn Beck program from the day before. And then there's Doc. There's Glenn. And then there's, and then before the replay of Glenn Beck at midnight is, there's a,

there's the Buck Sexton. No, there's a replay of another show. Buck Sexton is on the evening, 7 to 10 on the Blaze Radio Network. Then there's a show of something, Chris. Oh, Chris Alcato. Duh. Chris Lacedo 2 to 4 on the Blaze Radio Network

and then 4 to 6 is Pat and Stu and then Buck Sexton Buck Sexton. Buck Sexton and then there's a replay of a show after that before Glenn's replay

of a show that airs right after Glenn. What is that show? Is there a lineup? I could go. Oh yeah, the blaze.com slash radio. You'd go to and get the lineup. That, I'm sure, has that person's name.

Can I remember? Yes, I am. I'm having a stroke right now, and I can't remember Michael Pelka's name. It's a good excuse. Hi, guys. You got Doc Thompson, Gledbeck, Michael Pelke, Chris Seltato, Pat and Stu, Buck, Sexton, Monday through Friday on the Blaze Radio Network. You're happy now?

You happy? Good. I hope so. So what would you do for a million bucks? Really? You would do that? Wow. Now a lot of people would say, I don't know.

I wouldn't do too much. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do this. I mean, there's a lot of things that people would say, I don't want to do anything. I wouldn't do that for a million dollars. Just wouldn't do it. And that's good for you.

You could say no to anything. But there's an old guy that, buried treasure, a million dollars in the mountains. And he's dying now. And he's left a treasure map. And people are going out and about trying to find the treasure. Now, there are some people who have gone to find the treasure and lost their lives. It was very sad.

He's not forcing people to look for the treasure. He's just saying, hey, I buried the treasure out there. Here's a map. Here's some, well, he gave clues. He didn't give a map. He was giving clues as to where he's, buried the money and see if you can go find it and now people are losing their lives now he claims that he could still go out there he's actually old and dying and laying in his

bed so if he were able to actually go out into the wilderness he could find it again thanks to his very own clues well good for him good for him now would you go out and search for someone who said, hey, there's a million dollars. Here's some clues. It's the red stone with the shadow of the sun and a pine tree to the west. I mean, I'm not sure what the clues what the clues are but it seems I don't know

it might be worth it right it might be worth it for a million bucks just to you know go out and I mean it might be worth it to send oh I don't know let's say let's say you have a 15 year old son and you have a wife

who loves to go out into the wilderness and camp and you know they've got the camping equipment. They've got the wilderness survival equipment. I mean,

wouldn't you think about any way sending them out and saying, hey, why don't you go camping and here's some clues, see if you can find this particular item? Because we used to go out and do, it was a letterboxing. It's called letterboxing, where you know, you have the clues. and you try to find the letterbox, right?

And you find the box and it's out in the woods, buried or it's buried underneath the tree or it's over here underneath a rock. And you find it, and you stamp. You take the ink and you make the stamp and you leave your mark in the letterbox and then you put it back where it is. So then someone else will come along and find the clues.

So I think I'm setting my son. And, you know, if there were, if you were like some people in America. and you had a son that's almost an eagle scout and a wife who loves to go camping and survive in the wilderness. And you would think about, here's some clues that you could, you know, go find the million dollars. Do you think you could do it? I don't know. I would.

I think if those of you that are trying to reach my wife in the next week, she'll be gone. And so will my son. News that I thought would be tremendous news that was sent to me earlier this week. And it's obviously fake news. I know this is fake news. I'm reporting fake news. But is such good fake news. that I want it to be true.

So bad. Confirming the widespread rumors that Sean Spicer would be departing the office in short order, President Donald Trump has chosen InfoWorse Chief and Renowned Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones as the new press secretary. Come on now. I want it. The fiery Jones wasted no time getting in front of the cameras,

holding his inaugural press conference shortly after the announcement. I am the new press secretary. Occasionally taking a hand. handkerchief out of his pocket to dab perspiration from his red face. Ah! Beating his chest like a gorilla. Press sec... We're coming for you, globalists.

1776 will commence, you wicked wicked devils. He added before mumbling something about gay frogs. Press Secretary Jones concluded the conference early, dismissing every person in the room after announcing that only Info Wars and Brightboat reporters would be allowed to attend press events from this point forward. Go ahead. Tell me. Tell me you don't want that to be true.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the police radio network. Individuals and businesses with tax problems, listen carefully. If you owe over $10,000 in back taxes or have unfiled tax returns, we can help you take back control. The IRS is the largest and most aggressive collection agency in the world, and they can seize your bank account, garnish your paycheck, close your business, and file criminal charges. Take control of your tax problems now by calling the experts at tax mediation services. At 800, 600, 8192.

That's 800, 600, 8192, 800, 680192. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. How in the world are you? Good. Glad to hear it. You can follow me on Twitter at Jeff EMRA, Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio, Instagram at Jeff EMRA.

You know, what I just tasted. I'm going to tell you a little inside baseball because we'll probably have a spoon segment on the Pat and Stew Show next week. But I just tasted the Oreo jelly donut cookies. Now, of course, I mean, it's Saturday morning. You have to have donuts. Now, I'm not joking when I say

they would be so much better with milk. Oh, man. It would be so good with milk. But Nabisco and Oreo. You guys are hitting the ball out of the park. These are really, really good. And the thin mint Oreos are tremendous. The idea of even thinning down the cookie part and the middle section, tremendous.

Because I thought it was going to be, you know, the thick cookie with the thin. No, the entire thing is thin. I mean, it, I don't know that it crushes the Girl Scout thin mint, but it's really close. They are really good. The jelly donut kind of leaves that jelly donut cookie aftertaste a little bit. No, Jeff, that's because you've eaten 20 of them. Oh, okay.

So one or two is fine? That's correct. What's the serving size on Oreos? Serving size two cookies. Well, I've had that. 150 calories. What? Like 75 calories a cookie?

No trans fat. Zero grams of trans fat, so I'm good. Thumbs up to that. Zero milligrams of cholesterol. Tell me it's not heart healthy. Tell me. 80 milligrams of sodium, 10 milligrams of potassium. The sodium, 80 milligrams is only 3% of the daily value recommended.

So you still got some going out there. The total carbs are 21 grams, which is 7% of the recommended daily value. Dietary fiber, you're not getting any fiber. You are getting some sugars, though, just 12 grams of sugar. Only 12 grams of sugar in one cookie? That's not bad. So the 150 calories are per serving, two cookies. Calories from fat, 60 of the 150 are from fat.

So even less than half, less than half of the calories per serving of an Oreo cookie. It's coming from fat. So these, I mean, really, these are good for you. I'm going to stick with that. You know, I used to work for Oreo. I was thinking about this. I told the story earlier today, often. because I was remembering working for Oreo and I would know all Nabisco and I worked for

Nabisco and it was there you know you'd go into the store and you'd see what the store needs 18 boxes of saltines 22 Oreos we need a new Oreo display built up front and because we've got new jelly donut Oreos coming in we want to have a display with those okay so we did that and I did that for a little while. I had a friend who, when I was out of work, gave me a, you know, got me a job working for them. And I did that for a while.

Now, I will say that it's unbelievable the amount of damaged packages that come when you're delivering Nabisco goods. I know. Weird. Right? Because you think, hey, this is a big company. They know how to ship products. But I know.

I mean, this is a few years ago, so maybe they've gotten better. I mean, I hope so. And you can't leave, look, you know, if they're damaged bad enough, you can leave them for maybe the driver to pick them up. But the driver doesn't have time to pick up that stuff. So you just put it in your car. You don't want to leave. The driver's delivering the goods.

He doesn't need to be picking up. up stuff like that. He's throwing your car. Drop them off back at the offices. But you worked from home. You never went into the office. Yeah, you know, we get there. I was actually going to start working for them full time.

That was kind of a part-time. You know, you worked on commission and what the stores did. And they gave you so many stores to take care of. And you serviced them. That's what you did. You drove around the stores, made you their rights, set up the displays, that kind of stuff. And you went there. you know, once or twice a week or whatever, you know,

needed to be done for those stores. And I was all ready to become, they wanted me to come, become full time for Nabisco. And I remember going to a meeting with the powers that be, they had, you know, the new salespeople or whatever they wanted to call us.

And we were there and they were going over, you know, the Nabisco doctrines. And it was all ready to pick up my equipment for my in-home, you know, service. They had the, you know, the facts. machines and everything that they were providing for their salespeople out on the out on the road and uh i remember telling a couple of jokes at this meeting

and getting nothing for me a couple of people a couple of salespeople but nobody in the misco management was laughing those guys were like you know the white shirts and the ties i mean i like to chuckle so we're get done with the day. And are you ready to pick up your equipment, funny man? Yeah. Sure. You're here to pick up my, you know.

Okay. And are you going to have heard jokes for us? And I, you know, I say something that I think is remotely funny. Nothing. So I took the equipment. I put it in my car. I remember driving home thinking, I know, you know, yes, I can't work for these people.

and I got home I remember I still remember the house my wife my first wife was cooking dinner I'll never forget walking in the house

and you go oh how to go and I was like that was great I got the equipment in the car and oh good good

yeah I'm not gonna be working for these people I know I'm out of work and I'm a slug and you know I'll find another radio job but I'm not working for these people

okay they got the sense of humor as a as a toad. Somehow dinner wasn't as good as it was going to be. Weird. Huh. Uh, yeah. Well, honey, I mean, I'll find another job.

Don't worry. I know this is a full-time job with benefits and everything, but look, I'll find another job. I'll get radio. I'll get another part-time job and radio. I know. That's the problem. This is the Jeff Fisher show.

Only on the Blaze. Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. How in the world are you? How in the world are you? So I see this story earlier this week that talks about I had an affair and now I'm stuck with the woman that I had an affair with and I don't want to be.

I want to be with my wife. I want to be with my wife. I don't want to be with the woman I had an affair with, then why did, I mean, okay. Obviously, the first question is, why did you cheat then? If you love your wife so much, why did you cheat? Everyone knows the answer to that.

Everyone knows the answer to why you cheat. Okay. And most of the time, and you're going to, I'll be on tour with Bill Cosby next week. Most of the time, it's because you just, you know, you still love your spouse, but at the time, at the time, this person is better. Just for a short period of time.

You know, 10, 30 seconds. That's just, this is the way it is. You know it and I know. Now, obviously, the answer is don't cheat. stick to your commitment. Love the spouse that you're with. Very simple. Very simple.

You and I both know that. But there are some particular people who are more prone to cheating. And I found this list from late last year. It's a dating site. And it's now the dating site is Victoria Milan. It's geared towards those who are married and attached. And they did a survey of over 5,000 of their female users on their dating and cheating habits.

Okay. So what job types the cheating women say are most likely to cheat on their spouses. IT workers on the list. Online cheating on the rise, social media, dating apps.

IT spends a lot of time online. They're on the list. Another person on the list who, you know, might be a profession that might be more likely to cheat on their partners, a stay-at-home mom. Being a mother can be stressful.

Perhaps this is what leads to the infidelity or it could be the fact that she is at home without her spouse for most of the time, leading to more opportunity to cheat. The assistant, I'm not sure what that means, the assistant. We've all heard the cliche of the secretary having an affair with his or her boss. Turns out there's some truth behind it. Fireman. Really?

The divorce rate for fireman is a surprising three-time. higher than any other profession. Maybe it's because of the sometimes dramatic work they do. Right, that's it. Maybe it's the weird hours. Right. So the firemen make the list. Professions that might be more likely to cheat on their partners.

Real estate agents. I think we all know why real estate agents are on the list. Plenty O places to have an affair. For free. I mean, that's why you become a real estate agent, right? Right? Educators on the list. Teachers have one of the highest infidelity rates.

We've all heard of the student teacher scandals. Unfortunately, these teachers are giving one of the most respectful professions a bad name. Yeah, I don't think it's the infidelity teachers that are giving the teachers a bad name. I'm just saying, I don't think it's them. We could do a couple more stories on all the teachers that are having affairs with their students. Those might be the teachers that are giving this. Educators a bad name. Uh-oh, we had firemen.

Of course, you have to have the police. Copsie a lot of traumatizing things like firemen do, which we can only imagine leads to stress and exhaustion. Another thing, you've heard of badge bunnies. Really? Come on now. They are willing to seek out married policemen to have affairs. I got to get a badge.

I got to get a badge. Are you a police officer? Yes. Can you get in trouble for that? Is that impersonating a police officer? I mean, that doesn't count as impersonating a police officer if I'm not trying to make an arrest, right? Right? All right, the top ten.

the top 10 most likely that cheat professions. You thought we were done? No way. Communications. I'm in the top 10. I'll tell my wife. The first group gets a nod from

Victoria Milan on communication professionals, journalists, PR reps, communication specialists. Oh, that's not me. It makes sense that this group might have a propensity for cheating as journalists tend to travel a lot, which can put a strain on a relationship. These people also tend to work in corporate settings and high-stress positions. As we will see, that can be a huge contributing factor to infidelity.

Ooh. Look out. The legal. Those damn legal people. Legal includes lawyers, legal secretaries, prosecutors, and judges. The legal field, like many others on the list, is filled with long hours, late nights, and high stress. it's hard not to see why sparks might begin to fly in the courtroom. Oh, nightlife and hospitality.

Come on now. You know that's, I mean, that goes without saying. Right. Although we're saying it. I can only assume because the nightlife tends to be a young people's game, so fewer bartenders, dancers, and DJs have spouses to cheat on there. That's why this is so far not farther down on the list. It's possible.

According to the Washington Post, bartenders and dancers are most likely to get divorced from their spouses, which suggests to something about the service industry lifestyle maybe at odds with maintaining a relationship. People who work in bars, clubs, and restaurants tend to be drunk around their colleagues a lot. And yes, that leads to a good amount of partying. Hookups.

And if you manage to stay married, cheating. You know, I was watching an old Rodney Dangerfield comedy bit on the Tonight Show and man there's some stuff that he could not do today which reminded me of which reminded me you know when they talk about getting drunk and having

in today's world oh my gosh you're having sex with a woman and she was drunk I mean that's damn near rape and I mean Rodney Dangerfield did nothing but talk about getting girls drunk and that's how he had sex

it's the only reason Anyway, though it's the doctor. I told the doctor I had VD. He gave himself a shot. Anyway, the artist. The artist, oh yeah, artist, sports, yes. Huh, yes. Most likely the cheap profession edition, business people.

Oh, yes. Those nasty business people. Healthcare people. Oh, doctors, nurses. Yeah. Doctors tend to make a lot of money. And according to this, blog about lying on your profile, men who make more money or say they make more money

are way more likely to get messaged on the site. So when you go to the site, one personality you need to be as a rich guy, the other personality you need to be as a policeman. You're looking for badge bunnies and doctor bunnies. Aviation. Oh, of course. Hello. Pilots and stewardesses are almost never home, so they imagine stewardesses.

This is a 2016 story. What are they me? Flight attendants, you mean? Are almost never home. So I'd imagine that it'd be hard to maintain a marriage. Also according to a study by Tinder and who doesn't believe their studies. Being a pilot is the sexiest job a man can have, the one that will get him the most right swipes.

Oh, and then they mentioned flight attendant later. And flight attendant makes the list at 13 for women, as the sexiest things, is the most right swipes for Tinder. Wow. That's interesting. I wonder what number one is for Tinder, the right swipes.

If you're going to be a Tinder ho, and what's number one? Tinder hoes, man. I'll stop now. Financial sector, number one. So you've got pilots and stewardesses of those flight attendants. And the financial, of course,

finance tops the list of the most likely profession to cheat to big, cultural stereotype, but according to Victoria Milan, it holds. Sorry if that hurts your feelings, finance people. But apparently something about the culture of the finance industry promotes adultery, and it's not surprising, consider some of the financial and gender-based trends we've already discussed. So, if you're asking yourself, I married

I had an affair and now I'm with my now I'm with the woman I had an affair with I'm stuck with that woman and not my wife and you're asking yourself why well maybe you can use that as an excuse oh it was my profession if only I wasn't a

unsuccessful business person oh I had that affair damn it Damn it So anyway, good luck with that. Have fun with it. You know what the answer is. Don't cheat.

This is the Jeff Fisher Show On the Blaze Radio Network. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. You're ready to close to wrapping up this broadcast already on the Blaze Radio Network. Some would say it went by fast. Others would say not fast enough. coming up right after this show is Lawrence Jones,

although Lawrence, he apparently has better things to do than talk to you. I don't know. I don't know where he is. I don't know. All I know is that Brad Staggs is sitting in for Lawrence Jones. And then there's some guy named Brandon Morris who works for the place. It's going to hang out with him.

That's all I know. That's it. So Brad will be here taking over for Lawrence Jones. You won't, but you can, and you're not going to be able to tell the difference. You're going to think, hey, wait, I thought Jeff said that Brad's tags was going to be filling in. It sounds just like Lawrence. I know.

I know. But that's the case. And then Mike Slater comes in after that, Joe Pags, that's your Saturday lineup. And Sunday we've got Jackie Daly at 6 a.m. Wall Builders at 8. Right? 8 to 11, 11 to 2. Bill Handel, 2 to 4, Yarn Brooks, the new show, all on the Blaze Radio Network.

All right. So good news from the government. Who says Trump isn't doing anything? Okay? Yeah. Grizzly bears, once on the endangered species, being taken off the endangered species. So the Endangered Species Act protection is going to be lifted on the grizzlies in the Yellowstone National Park.

What does that mean? We're hunting grizzlies. Oh yeah We're going grizzly bear hunting That'll be fun It'll be fun Bear hunting is fun And you get yourself your own little bear

Stuffed Stuffed up one of them big old bears I have a cousin I'm kind of an uncle cousin That's been big game hunting all over the world And he has his game room And it's really It's surreal

Because you have stuffed bears he's got a black bear and a brown bear no polar bear couldn't get the polar bear over the border he's still working him and the buddy are still working to get the polar bear back and I mean he's got

he's got cantalope antelope oh any animal you can think of you ever seen the galloping cantaloupe I know not many people have he's got one on the wall and congratulations to Rhode Island they're going to authorize highway camera systems to start finding uninsured motorists.

Don't worry about it. Oh, look, there's some license plates. We'll scan the license plates. Oh, he doesn't have insurance. Fine. I think that's nice of them. And I wrote, Alan, I want to thank you for that. Because heaven forbid, I don't want to forget to pay my insurance.

I don't want to be on the road without insurance. I want you to just bill me for it. And by the way, those cameras. A, not all of them work properly. And B, the one that caught my wife running the red light, I think that was broken. I think that particular light was broken. Because I know the picture was there and there was the car and she was in it

and there was the whole thing in the middle of the intersection with the red light, but I think it was wrong. I think it was wrong. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio. Radio Network.