Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - A Pooping Santa, Zombie Jesus & Violent Protest -12/6/14

Episode Date: December 6, 2014

Jeffy talks about the protests for Eric Garner and Mike Brown. He also discusses the Walking Dead mid-season finale, the welfare payout statistics across the country and the best Christmas commercial ever. All this and more on the Jeff Fisher Show!Jeff Fisher is live from 6am to 8am ET, Saturday. Listen for free on TheBlaze Radio Network.Follow Jeff at twitter.com/JeffyMRA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Blaze Radio on demand. The experiment was a success. Begin Life Force reboot program now. Stand clear. Signs stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network.

What do these have in common? robbing banks, urinating in public, drunk harassing children, kicking and fighting police during arrest, stalking children on the internet, attacking 74-year-old women with a 2-by-4, flashing people on the streets,

sexually harassing coworkers, breaking into corporate board meetings, to make a stand, accidentally abducting children, actually abducting children, brings presents then robs them for cash, getting arrested in front of crying children. What do all of those have in common? Except, you know, other than I get there, all crimes.

I got there, it's a crime that these human beings are doing crimes. Other than that, other than those petty little things called crimes. What do those all have in common? Yes, all people dress like Santa Claus. Merry Christmas. Welcome to the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. Merry, Merry Christmas. It is the Christmas season. The lights are lit. The main tree, I'm told, in New York is lit. Yes. No justice, no tree. Wrong. We lit it. Okay. Rock Center said, hey, we're lighting this thing. We brought this big-ass tree into the city. We're lighten it. Okay.

So you go ahead and walk the streets all you want. We're putting on a show and we're lighting it. And they did. So Merry Christmas. Just beware of those Santa Claus's. Just beware of those Santa Clauses. Okay? Yeah.

Now, you know the real story. I mean, everybody wants to know, you know, the Christmas story of every year that you get to hear. How much? How much? Would I have to pay for all the items if I bought them all on the 12 days of Christmas song? You know, you'd heard it already, right? You've been listening to Christmas music.

Everywhere I'd turn around. I'm hearing Christmas music now. Everywhere. Plus, the guy that I work for here in Dallas, you may have heard of him, Glenn Beck. He is playing Christmas music all through the Mercury Studios every day. and so I've asked I've said look

dude turn it off okay nobody wants to hear that crap he still leaves it on he still leaves it on so we got Christmas music he's blasting through the Mercury Studios which is actually it's really nice and it's Christmas music all the time

my wife plays it all year long I come in the house in the middle of July there's a Christmas song on so I mean it's Christmas season now baby it's time to play them every second of the day But if you heard the song 12 days of Christmas, you know, you have to know how much you'd spend on things, right? I know you're thinking to yourself, but I wouldn't buy those things.

Really? You wouldn't. You know you want. What do you want for Christmas? Yeah. Exactly. If someone brought you the 12 days of Christmas, what would you think? Thank you.

I love you. So if you bought every gift in the 12 days of Christmas, every time they were mentioned, okay? more than $116,000. I got to tell you that doesn't sound that bad. Right? It really doesn't. 12 gifts, mentioned in the song,

you pay more if you bought it online, buying some of the gifts online were, it costs more to buy it in person. So that's why you should shop online. Really? You should. Okay, so you got

A set of 12 gifts. Buying the same gifts online. You bought it each time it was mentioned, 364 in total, $160,273. It's only up over 1%. So things are fine. That's a fine. Now, prices for turtle doves, gold rings, swans, stayed the same. geese allaying

70% increase man that is not good geese is laying trying to find the maids of milking anyway it's going to cost you $116,000 the only reason I want you to know that is because when you go out to buy a gift for someone you think

I'm not spending $116,000 on you, pal okay here's what you get this is all you get for Christmas okay and be happy about it. All right. Now, I'm scanning the globe last night, you know, surfing the web,

and I find a commercial for a product that's a darn good product, I think, it appears to be good. It is for a product called Popery. Now, I started out by telling you what all these people creating crimes have in common, and that's Santa Claus, right? They're dressed up as Santa Claus. And who doesn't have a Santa Claus suit? Everyone. And although I can't find my little fake black boot things.

Anyway, I hope they're in one of my Christmas boxes. So this company, Pau-Pourri toilet spray. Now, they've got a few commercials all over. The other ones are, I'll tweet a link for the entire commercial because I'm going to play the commercial, because the video is really good too. And you'll get the gist of it. I'm going to play the audio from the video.

Fantastic. It makes me want to buy the product. Plus, it's also making, you know, it's another way. And I don't know that I like it. I mean, it's funny to me. I like it. I got it. It's funny.

But it is kind of like the, you know, humanizing of Santa Claus. I guess we've always done that. We've always kind of done it. But it's kind of the humanizing of Santa. However. The commercial is based on Santa Claus coming into the house and having to use the bathroom. Okay? And then getting caught by the family.

And it's pretty damn funny. By the bathroom. So this is Santa Claus on the Lou now. Father Christmas? Oh, uh, hi. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just trying to find the Lou. It wasn't you.

It's that. stench. I'm sorry, dearie. Just, go back to sleep. I was dreaming of sugar plums. Then along came the ghost of Christmas ass. Listen, just give me a second, okay? And I'll wrap this right up. What is that smell? Oh, jeez. Holy see, Nicholas. Please, girls, go back to bed.

He's dropping your logs down his chimney. Come on now, a little privacy would be great. I've been holding this thing since Dubai. The whole house smells like a gingerbread man slaughter. I'm sorry. It's the milk. cookies, okay? Every year destroys me. Well, now that you're here, dumping lumps of coal in our toilet, what did you get me for Christmas? Grimm.

I don't make a meal of it, okay? It's not that bad. Look what I found. Jesus, there's another one. Whoa, put that back. I was looking around for that horrible stench, and I found this under the tree. That's not for you. There are iPhones, hundreds of them.

Oh, for us. As soon as I'm done here, I'm going to get those gifts back, and you're all going on the naughty list. Oh, yeah? Then I ain't going to put it. You want Instagram hashtag busting. Do you know who I am? Think about it.

You have any idea? Put it in the cloud with a stinky thoughts. You can't blackmail Santa. Look, Kringle, you never should have pinched off a hot slice of fruit cake without using poo-per-ree. Poopery? Poopery. The gift that stops stinking. Since we're exchanging gifts, here's one for you.

Next time, sprints the bowl before you go and no one else will ever know. So you can keep sneaking without reeking. And your dingleberries will smell like. like jingle berries. Poo-pourri baby. Yeah, Santa. Hurry up. I really need to take a sh-

All right, all right. Now they go through their little jingle, a little pooperie jingle. Fantastic commercial, though. Fantastic. I'll tweet that out at Jeffrey MRA and I'll put that up on my Facebook page too, Jeffrey Fisher.

Tremendous. Santa Claus. Oh, Jesus. There's another one. You're listening to the Jeff Fisher Show. Radio Network. Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it.

888-90-033 is the phone number if you choose to use it. Coming up right after this broadcast, Michael Pelko with Piero Pellico on the Blaze Radio Network. You know, really, when you think about it, why do you even change the dial? And is there a dial anymore? Speaking of dials, why do you even change the internet link? Stay right here. because you got the Glenback weekend after that. Chris Salcedo live, Mike's later live,

Joe Pag's live, hello. That's your Saturday. And I know Michael Pelka, at Stunt Brain on Twitter just said, the good time to do your honey-do list? Yeah, no. It's a good time to listen. Sit back, drink some coffee, relax.

Honey-do list will wait. She'll do it. She'll do it later. So anyway, here in Dallas, where's that? Stupid story. I've got to find that stupid story now because that's all I can think about. I like that an idea. Dallas newspapers.

Mercury Studios, I almost fell. I almost crashed my chair. That would have been live radio right there had I fallen over. And you'd say, boy, I bet nobody's ever done that before. Well, yes, I have. But anyway, I almost fell over in the chair, which would have been really funny because it would have kicked the desk in the microphone and you would have heard it all and been a part of it with me.

Now you're saying to yourself, geez, why didn't you do that, Jeff? because I stupidly saved myself instead of thinking of you. I apologize. So the Dallas morning news, listen, newspapers are a dying breed. Okay, and they're just trying to hold on. I got it. I got it. So here in Dallas, there's a reviewer, Leslie Brenner,

and she goes out and reviews restaurants, right? Now there's restaurants that are, you know, all ticked, that she's out giving them bad reviews or good reviews or whatever, and so they don't want to serve her. And now they've decided. They've gotten together. They've got their little restaurateur cabal together. And they've said, look, to each other, look, we're not going to charge her.

Okay. When she comes in, we are not going to charge her. So then they're guessing and they're thinking, and I believe the newspaper with their, you know, some kind of journalistic whatever, say, well, if she's not paid, we can't, we can't review it. and it's not the same thing, and journalistic integrity. We can't, uh-huh. Okay.

Here you go. So she goes in and she wants to review a restaurant, and they see her, and they say, no, we're not going to charge you. You get what you want, whatever, but we're not going to charge you. D.M.N. There's a big sign that they hang up over the cash register in the restaurants. DMN doesn't pay here.

Dallas Morning News doesn't pay here. So apparently, now she, go, she went out and, you know, they're making their big thing. And this has been tried in other cities before, where restaurants have tried to get together and block reviewers. And really, I worked out that well. Because one guy will stand up to the crowd and say, no. And the rest of the restaurants will be like, well, you know, let her come in and we'll let

them come in and we'll feed them and let them review us and hopefully it'll be, you know, business. Now, the campaign against Leslie Brenner and her star system has already gone way farther than all the other places. He's got, they've got six or seven big restaurants in the Dallas area, and they're claiming that they're going to get more. Okay. Now, she is calling, I mean, it's kind of like the Dallas restaurant and the Dallas restaurant Food Critic War because she's using the she's using the Barack Obama Plan of Method

on the local radio station on local public radio program. She's calling the instigators a fringe group. Oh, a fringe group. Okay. Yeah, because there's eight million restaurants and only, you know, ten of them. But the ten of them are the big restaurants in the area, right? And they're the ten that people would actually you know, maybe look at the reviews, and that's her gig.

So now they're, you know, the newspaper saying they're having a hard time. She, you know, they can't get her out. They won't pay her. So she went out and dressed up and actually snuck into a restaurant and paid for it and then did a review. Okay. Well, here you go. Dallas Morning News. here's an idea for you.

Okay? There's an idea for you. And this is an idea that you all can use. And by the way, DMN, you're welcome on this, okay? This is from me. It's you. All right. Maybe save you a little bit.

Make you a little money and save you a little bit of time before your newspaper goes to hell. Okay. The food critic can dress up in the food. incognito and go to these restaurants, pay, and then review them. Now, you say, well, she did that and she doesn't want to do that. Yeah, okay, here's what you do. You film her getting made up and talking about what restaurant she's going to, okay? And what she plans to order, that kind of stuff.

And you put that on your website. Huh? Huh? And you make that part of the deal so that then she goes and she doesn't and you can film as much as you want. You can give her the glass cam, the hat cam, the butt cam, whatever cam you want to give her. Go into the restaurant, review, come back out and review. And then you'll have the article of the newspaper. She can write the article.

You can print it. You can roll the newspapers down the line with all the ink and wasted cut down trees. And you could all post it online so the people can go and watch the video of her getting ready of what she looks like, what she looks like going into the restaurant, how she's treated as the 80-year-old lady, how she's treated as the man, how she's treated. And you'll have those videos that people will go to your website and watch. They may even sell some newspapers because you could use that maybe on the, I don't know, maybe the bottom fold. and if you wanted to split a little bit once in a while when it's a slow news day, which I know aren't many, but when it's a slow news day, you put it on the top fold.

So there she is, and people will go, who's that? That's our food critic. And you make a big, so you go after the restaurants and fight back a little bit. Just fight it just a little bit, just a little bit. That's all you need to do. Okay. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Because I couldn't figure out why in the heck it was such a big deal. Okay, if you're a restaurant, do you want the reviewer to come in? Plus, apparently she has a review for all restaurants. It's the same thing. It doesn't matter, you know, you get the star system, and whether you're a barbecue place or whether you're a French cuisine restaurant,

you get the same star system. Now, you think to yourself, well, restaurants should be, you know, should be about service and presentation and the taste of the food, and that's it, right? Something like that. And price. But really, when you go, Go to a barbecue place.

Do you expect the same? You expect the food to taste good. You expect the service to be good. You expect the price to be comparable. You expect the accommodations to be okay. But you don't expect to have the service be different. The service is... You know what I'm talking about.

The service would be different experience. The experience itself is different. different at each different type of restaurant. So it should have some kind of, you know, variation on the rating system. However, that having been said, Dallas Morning News, just film are getting made up. Film are going into the restaurant. Let her do the review online. Let her post the article in the newspaper and sell some newspapers, sell some ads on your online newspaper

before the rest of the whole thing goes to hell. And you just have to shut it down. Okay? Yeah. DMN? You're welcome. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.

All right, welcome to it. Thanks for coming along for the ride of the Blaze Radio Network. And I just realized that I wanted to talk about something, but I can't talk about it until I have my soundtrack. You hit the mic and it falls over. Why isn't so low? All right. Midseason finale of the Walking Dead.

Pretty good. And it won the night. I mean, my gosh, we had it beat Sunday night football. Right? I think so. I think I saw where are my ratings. You know, if a person

who actually does a show and thinks about doing a show I don't know who would do such a thing but they would actually they might think about what they were going to talk about before they came back on the air but that would just be stupid

people don't do shows like that do they? Really? Seriously? All right, whatever. And now I can't find the ratings. They beat Sunday night football and and Alabama

Auburn beat Sunday night football and The Walking Dead won them all for last weekend. So tremendous. Tremendous weekend for The Walking Dead. Now, last Saturday, after the show, I get a

tweet saying, I'm sure you're aware of this, but I just wanted to let you know that the Walking Dead is and they sent me a link to a Craigslist post where it says, Because, hey, Walking Dead is casting people in Pennsylvania.

And I thought, what? Okay. Now, the original one that I saw, which is now down, didn't say anything about the companion series to the Walking Dead. It specifically talked about casting for the Walking Dead and wanted people from 14 to 65 and they were looking for possible characters and a side character, you know, guest shot appearances

and walkers and stuff. Okay, so I'm thinking, wait a second, I have been telling Walking Dead for how long I wanted to be a walker. I mean, that's all I want. I don't want to be a star in one of your companion series, you know, unless, of course, you ask. I don't want to be, show up and have, you know, have to put up with Rick, you know, unless you ask.

I just want to be a walker. So I just want to be able to look up and say, yeah, that's me. Because, I mean, how many times you look up and you see a walker in the herd and you go, that was me? Maybe you don't, what I do. That's me. That's me right there. Have I, oh, my family thinks I'm so funny.

They enjoy that line, too. So you can use it. You use it on your family, too. You see something like that until you just say, that was me. I did that the other day. Shout that the other day. They laugh. Oh, they laugh so hard.

So anyway, those of you that thought that they were casting in Pennsylvania, wrong. Wrong. All of them are down, most of them are down from the Craigslist. They're saying that not, no, walking dead is saying, no. Not happening. Now, apparently there's a talent agency. And I don't know if I was, the stories that I read were a little shaky on whether the talent agency was actually using talent, be able to get to the Walking Dead.

But they were charging people a bunch of money, which is a, you know, a lot of talent agencies do that. Come in, we'll take your picture. We'll do all this. Oh, you're beautiful. Pay us a thousand. And then after the thousand, we'll put you in front of one television producer and one movie producer and then pay us more money to get you in front of more people. stuff like that. So it's kind of, you know, I'm hesitant to say a rip-off because if you believe it'll work

and it has worked for some people, so it's just expensive. And it seems like there would be an easier, cheaper way to go about it. That's all. But here in America, it's capitalism. And if they can get you in without fraud and take your picture and take your money and put you in front of people that could actually put you on television or in the movies and that's what you want good for them but the casting for the walking dead is been a BS alert on craigslist so i apologize last sunday the mid-season finale of the walking dead

a we didn't find out about we didn't find out they weren't going anywhere uh i was wondering if we were going to lose more than one person of the of the main crowd from the walking dead uh no we did not It was a really intense scene when we lost her, although, you know, by the end it's like, you know, Goodridden, get out and over with. We're tired of her anyway. Now, I have, by the way, since Homeboy from the Walking Dead poohed my idea of how to end Walking Dead, my idea of how to end Walking Dead, I have come up with two new ways to end the Walking Dead series. one was you know my wife's idea

but she stole it from a movie which is actually not a bad idea though I told her that's a good idea and the other was mine I'm hesitant to tell you how what I think because the last time I did that on the air then everybody stole my idea and then you know Mr. Head of Walking Dead who can decide

all that stuff decided no we can't do that somebody else thought of it so I'm kind of hesitant But I may See, I was thinking, which is a frightening thought of itself anyway. Yeah, yeah. You know, plus the Walking Dead,

we gotta wait until February now. Man, come on. We couldn't have a Christmas special or something? We couldn't have created a Walking Dead Christmas special? I'm telling you, AMC, you had some big numbers. You would have had some tremendous numbers for a Christmas Walking Dead.

Come on. Come on. Make it happen. You still got time. Pull them out. Bring them in. Call them in. Let's go.

And take you a week, maybe a week and a half. Let's go. If you can't get it done in a week, shut that thing down. So my original idea was that Rick were to wake up in the hospital room, kind of like, you know, Wizard of Ozish. And, you know, the family would be all around because in the first episode he gets shot, right? It goes in the hospital. And that's what saves him because he's in the hospital and the world is all going to hell. So I thought that he would wake up and the whole family would be around him.

But see, my idea was that not so much the Wizard of Ozsh, but he would wake up and he would realize that it was all a dream. Except then you would look up at the television and you would see the world starting to go to hell. The beginning of it. I know, I know, tremendous. But they said no. Now, I would think that there was one way that you could end. It would be that at the end, they've all got to die, right?

You've got the spinoff series. And the spin-off series, we were told, are not going to be different and separate from the original. So you're probably not going to have any of the original people in it. So you're going to kill them off, right? I mean, you've got to, they've got to die. Go away. So the only way to tie them all together,

is at least one person, right? And Rick's kind of old and, you know, as far as four years to come down the line. So you still have the baby, right? And the baby, so at the end they could have the big battle and, you know, they all die. And then the baby's there left by itself. And then the final scene is someone just swooping up the baby and taking it away. Ah? The end.

so that you know that life continues. Now, my wife took that to the kind of like the World War Z kind of thing, where the baby is the cure and the answer, so that they find out, and we haven't really found out yet, because remember, Michone was fighting with the baby on her back, right, against the zombies. The baby hasn't been out with the walkers yet. So the baby is kind of like the World War Z kind of thing. So that if you have the baby in front of you,

the walkers just clear around you. Huh? Come on. So that could be the end too. Where the baby is the cure. When the baby is walking, the end is the baby. You know the baby is the cure going through a herd, the end, the Walking Dead.

Okay. You're welcome Walking Dead. It's out there now. It's out there. I gave it to you. I gave it to you for free. Now, I don't, all I want is in return. I want to be a walker in one of your shows.

In one of the original series shows. Not, I don't want to be a walker in a spin-off from a Dingleberry from Pennsylvania. No. I want to be a walker from the, my homeboys in Georgia. Okay? Okay. And now we found out last week too, right?

What's Her Face was, it started off in Dallas. So we know she came from. from Dallas, came across the south. So, I mean, they're starting to involve a little bit bigger, more of the country. I love it. And now, all I want is the Walking Dead Christmas special. My gosh, why don't we have that? It would have been so tremendous.

Why am I not? Oh, what the heck? It's been so tremendous. The Walking Dead Christmas Festival. You know, it would be tremendous. No, not that song. All right. All right.

Just break. I can't even find the Walking Dead music. What the heck? This is the Jeff Fisher show. On the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show. All right.

Now I want the Christmas special from The Walking Dead. Why is that not being, why is that not happening? Maybe I'll tell you what. AMC, listen. Seriously, I'm willing. I'm willing to be a consultant

for your show. I am. Call me. Call me. That's all. I'll be a consultant. Because now I'm telling you, The Walking Dead Christmas special, huge.

You could run AMC, you could run Walking Dead from here to Doomsday on Christmas Eve and Christmas. And so the people, everybody would tune in. You'd get sick of, you know, Santa needs a wife on Hallmark for the eighth time. So you'd flip over and catch a little Walking Dead. And Christmas night, new Walking Dead. Come on, Christmas special. Now you look at Twitter You can tweet me at Jeffie MRA

But they People want like Santa Walker I've heard from Some of the workers in New York Want the Jesus zombie I'm not that evil Okay I don't want the Jesus zombie But

The Christmas special Walking Dead where they at least try to grab on to what little bit they have of the past, because the new world is over. Now, Rick is already gone. He is surpassed. The past is gone, Jack. Don't, I mean, he doesn't, he's a killing machine, and he's a surviving machine now, which I'm not sure that he actually realizes, you know, the future.

He's, I'm not quite sure he's in that middle ground of we're just surviving. which kind of sucks. But at least if they had a little Christmas. You know, just a little something. A little something. It's Christmas. And what could remind them of Christmas is maybe a Santa Walker. And we kill a Santa Walker, and then all of a sudden it's, oh, that's right, it's Christmas.

And so we board up in a building, and we have a little Christmas, right? A little remembrance, a little Christmas. and maybe, you know, maybe one of the, one of the team says, I'm Jewish. All right. So put up, you know, here, go over there, light your candles. Whatever. But, I mean, you have a little Christmas.

It'd be tremendous. Come on. You know I'm right. You know you want the Walking Dead Christmas. AMC, make it happen. Make it happen. AMC, make it happen. Walking Dead Christmas.

And I don't want the Jesus zombie. I mean, I know Florida let the satanic temple put in their little display of burning flames and the angel over the flames. And come on. Come on. Florida. What are you doing? They're letting anyone in, which is kind of sad. Because you look down, and when you see that they actually have the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, stop it.

Florida. Stop it. Just pull everybody out. you know what, that's enough. We don't want to have any of it, okay? Because the Satanic Temple, Happy Christmas from the Satanic Temple at the Florida Capitol. D.

A little much. A little much. But, AMC, Walking Dead Christmas Special. On Christmas. Marathon. all the Walking Dead's a day or two in advance, build up to it, promo it. Then?

Yeah. Christmas night. 9 o'clock. Christmas special. Make it happen, AMC. Make it happen. I just wait until February. They don't even listen to me.

What am I talking about? I'm still laughing about some Santa sitting on the toilet because he forgot to spray some spray in it. Let me a break. All right. So we got so much more. get to on the Blaze Radio Network. Michael Pelka,

I'm sure he can't wait to come on after this show. I know if I was up next, I'd be happy. I'll tell you that. This is the Jeff Fisher show only on the Blaze Radio Network. It was a success.

Begin life force reboot programs. It's stable. It's alive. Set it loose. This is the Jeff Fisher show on the Blazger show. on the Blaze Radio Network. Hello.

Welcome to the Blaze Radio Network, the Jeff Fisher Show. Immediately following this broadcast, Mike O'Pelka, and his broadcast, Purelpelca. Then we do a little bit of Glenn Beck weekend. Rewind the week for you with Glenn. Chris Salcedo live, after that, Mike Slater, live, Joe Pags live, all your Saturday on the Blaze Radio Network. Now, okay.

Sure. We're still protesting Mike Brown. Okay, sure. We're protesting Eric Garner. Okay, sure. We've got ISIS going on still. All right, sure. We've got immigration reform coming on. Hey. Oh, yeah. You've got the Department of Justice coming out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. President Obama lied.

Yeah, I got to be lied. People are just now figuring out he lied about lying. Really? no kidding where have I heard that before I don't know but have you asked yourself when you watch the footage

of these humans protesting running down the streets throwing trash in the streets chanting all for Eric Garner Mike Brown

no justice no peace no justice no tree we want justice what do we want justice When do we want it now? Uh-huh. Ever ask yourself,

I wonder how they pay for that. Because I couldn't do that. I have too much to do. I have a family to take care of. I have mouths that I'm responsible for to feed with creating some kind of work that creates income to purchase goods and services to make sure that I and my family are as comfortable as we can possibly be.

But how do these people get away with all of that? Because I'm telling you, two things. One, block my way, shut down a highway. When I'm coming to work, I may slow down, but I'm going through. I'm not, I watch some of the footage of them holding. hands and the entire road is just stopped. No. No. I will slow down and do my very best not to turn you into a speed bump, but I'm going forward. Okay. I'm in an automobile. Get out of the road. I do not want to hurt anyone ever. Well, I want to get where I'm going. That's the whole point of not being able to, you know, block

traffic, commerce, that kind of thing. That's why we have emergency vehicles and rescue vehicles and police and fire so that when that happens, we can clear it out and keep people flowing and commerce happening. That's what America is. But I ask myself, how do these people survive? I mean, don't they have jobs? Well, apparently not. I'm looking at the welfare payout.

numbers. State by state. Welfare payout numbers. State by state. This is from the Cato Institute. How does your state rank? Now this is 13 states pay more than $15 an hour in welfare benefits. The highest welfare payout states pay more than $20 an hour. And welfare benefits pay out more than full-time minimum wage job in at least 35 states. Now that's for, you know, the family. I got it. Not just one person. Or it shouldn't be.

Probably as in most some places. Let's take a look. Okay. How does your state rank? What's number one? Hawaii. I got $60,000. Are you kidding me?

Let's take a look at the states that are protesting. New York. $43,000. Missouri. $22,000. That's only $10 an hour. That's almost $11 an hour. That's embarrassing.

No wonder they're pissed. Texas. Oh, Texas is only $12.5. $6 an hour. Idaho is $5.36 an hour. Woo! Idaho. Step up to the plate, baby.

$11,000. District of Columbia. $50,000. Massachusetts, $50,000. I got it. This is all pre-tax equivalent. I understand. I got it.

It's okay. Don't get me wrong. It's okay. I'm not putting the blame on anyone. Uh-huh. Maryland, 38,000. All of these are over $30,000. Oregon, California, Maryland, New Hampshire, Vermont.

Rhode Island, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, District of Columbia, Hawaii. Those are all above $30,000. And Massachusetts District of Columbia, 50,000, Hawaii, 60,000. Wow. Over 20,000, almost everybody's over 20,000, right? You got Nevada, Minnesota, Delaware, Washington, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, New Mexico, Montana, South Dakota, Kansas, Michigan, Alaska, Ohio, North Carolina, West Virginia, Alabama, Indiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, Louisiana, South Carolina, all of those, over $20,000. Arizona, well, it's all, everybody's over 10 grand.

Arizona's 15,000. And then Wisconsin, Virginia, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Georgia, 14. Utah, Maine, Illinois, Kentucky, 13, Florida, Texas, Arkansas. Tennessee, 12, Mississippi, Idaho, 11, $1,000. Yeah. I was a surprise. It is a surprise to me that so many people have dropped out of the workforce. I mean, why wouldn't you drop out of the workforce?

Why wouldn't you drop out of the workforce? That is amazing. I'll tweet the Cato Institute report from last year, 2013 with the numbers. It's amazing. It's really, really amazing into 2014. That's where the people have at the time. So you got no job, and it's free money. It's free money.

It's free money. but the people who are working to pay your free money, you shouldn't stop them from going to do that. Because if that makes them mad, then they're not going to be more upset about paying you to block them. And that's what you're doing. We're paying them to block our way to work. Huh?

It doesn't make any sense. Well, and I know a lot of people have talked about revolution, and they think, you know, it could be revolution. They want revolution. They just want to tear it down. The anarchist, you know, they want to tear it all down. They just want to tear it down. I really don't have a plan for building anything back up,

but they need to tear it down. Okay, well, that doesn't really work, does it? There's got to be something in the end. You can't just tear it all down. I mean, you can. You obviously can. and they want to and they're trying and they're doing

you know they're doing their best but when you talk about revolutions and you know they everybody a lot of people talk about the you know the Russian Revolution you know you know they were starving are we starving in the US yet I don't think so

a lot of fat people a lot of people even working out hard looking good eating what they want they're able to have choices go to the store and have choices of food I can eat good I can eat bad. I can eat sugar.

I can eat non-sugar. I can eat processed. I can eat non-processed. So there's still hope left in America. Still hope. Right? We still have all kinds of hope. Oh, my gosh.

The number one hope is the lottery. Never mind the number one hope of having a better future for your family and your children and hope that. your life will mean something. Hope is a lottery. Until you get people not wanting to win the lottery, hope is still there. People still want to win the lottery and go away from it all.

Yeah, I won two million. What are you going to get? A new car. You could probably get that before you won the two million. No. No, no, no, no. I can't get a new car unless I win millions of dollars from the lottery. Okay.

That doesn't make a lot. lot of sense to me, but I get it. Okay. If that's what you want, that's what you want. And I'll tell you when you start breaking things down, you know why we're not going to have a revolution here? Same reason they're having a tough time in Syria. You saw the story earlier in the week where the young French people want to come home now. They joined ISIS. They did. They joined ISIS. And then it's really cold here, mom. I'm fed up to the back teeth. My iPod doesn't work out here.

I've got to come home. Got to come home. All they want me to do is I'm sick of it. They make me do the washing. That's it. I've got to do the washing. I've cleaned weapons. I've moved bodies or killed fighters.

Winter is beginning. It's getting hard here in Syria, okay? Fighting for the Gion is hard. I want to come home so I can be in... my room with my iPad, please? That's not going to be a revolution. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. The Jeff Fisher Show is on.

Yes, it is. 888-90-33 is the phone number. Then Pure Opelka, Michael Pelka, at Stunt Brain on Twitter. Glenn Beck weekend, Chris Salcedo, Mike Slater, Joe Peggs, all on the Blaze Radio Network. then weekdays, of course, Doc and Skip, Glenn Beck, Buck Sexton, Jay Severin, Pat and Stu. My gosh.

My gosh, on Sundays, you've got David Barton and Bill Handel and gun talk and Hollywood talk and more money talk. I mean, there's no, why, there's no point. No pointed. Just lock the dial in. Lock that internet connection in. It doesn't work as well as lock the dial in. But lock it in. All right, look, I want to be clear.

I am not advocating running over protesters. I really am not. I see there's some funny tweets at Jeff E.MRA. Makes me kind of, you know, talking about running them down and get out of the way. And the local boat of cattle catchers, and they're talking about snow plow. One good idea, though, from James B. Ham, James in Alabama, loud air horns. No, not, well, it is an air horn, but it's a train horn. A friend of mine put a train horn on the bottom of his truck.

That thing is loud. That is a tremendous idea. And up close, it is deafening and a little scary. It catches you off guard. I love that thing so much. And he was, I mean, all right. So I laughed at this, okay, but I didn't really think it was funny

because it was scaring people, and I'm not for that at all. So don't think that I was laughing at people. We would go out and be driving around, and then you'd kind of go by a bus stop where people were sitting on the bench. Just as you make the turn in front of the bus stop, you hit that air horn.

Oh, my gosh. Let's just say people would jump. So that's a tremendous idea, James. Gotta get a train horn on the cars because they will move out of the way with those bad boys. No question. I was used borrowing his truck one day and I pulled up in front of my in-laws house in the street. You know, like in front of the driveway. And my kids were coming down the driveway and I hit that thing.

I thought Max was going to, I think Max did go to the sky. I think he just flew up into the sky and then immediately came back down. That kid turned white. That thing is loud, man. So that's a tremendous idea, a train horn. On the bottom of the year, oh my gosh, they will move with that bad boy. They will get out of the way. It'll scare that crap out of them.

That's a great idea. Now, other, but, you know, look, here's the deal. We saw, you know, the one guy that, you know, he tries to get out and they're blocking the way, and they beat him with the hammers. We saw a couple years ago, when was it? A guy tried to drive through a crowd like that and ended up driving over someone, but got out of there because they were beating on your car's car. Look, if someone gets hurt, if you're driving through a crowd like that and someone gets hurt,

my philosophy would be get out of there. It's just me. If you want to stop and get out and talk to them and try to make it right, go ahead. Good luck. But my philosophy would be that I'm getting out of there. I'm going to, I'm not getting out of my car and I'm not stopping. If I run over someone and that would be horrific in itself, I would find the closest police department and turn myself in and say, look, I was here.

There was a big crowd. They're beating out my car. I was scared for my life. I got out of there. I think I ran someone over. You probably, you know, you probably have video cameras everywhere. You can check it out. But I'm here.

I'm not trying to, you know, say I didn't do it. But I was scared for my life and I got out of there. And so, you know, you make it right. I'm not saying just plow through a crowd and go home. But what does the violence, the protest violence? in the blocking of commerce and what does it get you? I don't. I don't understand.

I really don't. I'm really confused. I don't understand what it gets you. Other than hardworking people disliking you. I told the story yesterday on radio about my mother-in-law in New York on a subway, the evening that Martin Luther King was assassinated. Now, she was fresh from Ecuador. But she, you know, looked white.

Looks like a, you know, your typical white. white woman on a subway. And a crowd of black people just beat the crap out of her almost to death. And another guy was stabbed trying to break it up. And what does that, what does that get? What does that get? That gets two people and maybe more, upset at, okay, so you don't want to blame all black people, right? All black people aren't bad.

No, they're not. Absolutely they're not. Just that crowd on the subway was bad. Okay? Who was that crowd? How do you recognize that crowd? What makes that crowd different? I don't know.

You tell me. You tell me what makes that crowd different. You tell me what that crowd did to win someone over. They won no one over. All they did was perpetuate the hate and perpetuate beliefs that People are out of control. And that's what's happening around the country right now.

And I'm all for the protesting. I get it. We need to make people aware of things. And sometimes it takes a bullhorn to make people aware of things. Sometimes it takes a train horn to make people aware of things. But the violence and the hurting of the people, that doesn't do anything, but just perpetuate the hate. I don't understand it. The Jeff Fisher Show.

The Blaze Radio Network. Jeff Fisher. Yes, I am. So when you're out and about walking on the streets and you see a little thing on the ground, a little oblong thing with a little cord sticking out in it, do you think to yourself, oh my God, that could be a bomb?

Or do you just kind of kick it and say, I wonder what that is. And you kind of kick it, move on, or you kick it to the curb, or you give it a little touch with your foot, you go, oh, I wonder what that is. You pick it up, you throw it away. Well, in San Diego,

a suspicious metal device. They locked it down. The federal courthouse. Lock it down. Calls in the bomb squad. They showed up. They got all dressed up. Walked up to the oblong egg-shaped aluminum piece of equipment with a cord coming out of it,

leading to a small plastic box that contained the battery. I'm not sure who. who the bomb squad detective was, but we'll say we'll call him Joe. Joe turned around and said, never mind. It's just a worry about it at all because it's just a sexual device. Don't worry about it. Ah, it's just a little sex toy. Get out of here.

Open this place back up again. Seriously, we call the bomb squad for the sex toy on the ground. It doesn't even look like it's a sex toy, really. No, blog, eggs, I mean, I get it. I got it. I got what it is. I got it, okay. And I know what.

If you're getting ready to go to jail and you're going to the federal courthouse, what more do you want? What the sexual toy in your pants? I got it. But it happens all the time. I guess we have to shut it down if people think it's if they're worried is the courthouse. I got it. But really, come on. If you're walking in a building and you're, you see something on the ground, first of all, doesn't even affect you.

I mean, maybe if it's moving a little bit, you go, I wonder what the heck that is. You give a little kick. Weird. You keep going. Or you give it a little kick and go, man, you think they could have thrown that thing away instead of just throwing it on the ground and keep going.

You don't call the bomb squad. Come on, you think somebody, somebody at the courthouse. One of the security guards at the courthouse looks at it and goes, what the hell and picks it up, and looks at it. And click gives it a little click. I just throw that thing away. That's somebody's sex toy.

That's my girlfriend's. We call the bomb squad. Come on. No, we don't. Then I see a story. I mean, they bust the people all the time. They shut down courthouses all the time for boxes of clothes and a suitcase of this and a bag.

They shut down, I remember once in Tampa, they shut down the courthouse because there was a bag, an unknown bag with something in it on the stairs. some homeless guy that had toothpaste and a beer in it. Stop it. Somebody, please. Some security, and I know that this, you know what?

I say this and then tomorrow some security guards. He thought it was just a bag full of toothpaste and beer. And when he picked it up, it blew up. I got it. It's a horrible thing. We got to be careful. I know. I know.

But the odds are with you. The odds are forever in your favor. Okay? That it's not a bomb. That it actually is just a second. toy somebody threw out that they didn't want to take through security. Okay? And they probably didn't throw it in the trash because they were hoping maybe when they came out

and they didn't have to go to jail going into the federal courthouse. They could bend down and pick it back up again, take it home and wash it off with a little soap and water and still have their sex toy. Okay? Instead, Bob Squad. Unbelievable. And so then I look at this story. Why is this story?

This story I'm going to tell you right now. Why is the story? This should have been my idea. It's not really a million-dollar idea, but it is a tremendous idea. So the female sex dolls, the real dolls. You know about them, right? Okay. If you don't, they're called real dolls.

Look them up. They're anywhere from $5,000 to $12,000. Okay, and you can get them in hair color, change it all in real dolls. And you can get male and female and whatever. And, you know, their cost upgrades, all this stuff. Look it up, the real doll. They've been around for a lot. a long time. Think how much money you could have saved with that real doll instead of getting married.

Anyway, the fashion photographer, Stacey Lee, 12 dolls, and she does a whole photo shoot with the real dolls. Why? I mean, they're just the real dial, she's going to have art gallery showings. You know she is. She's going to win awards for these stupid pictures. Should have been my idea. I mean, some of them look kind of weird, a little off, because, you know, they're not human. A little off. But for the most part, it's very fascinating.

You know, the poses that she's putting them all human-like, really kind of fascinating should have been my idea. That's all I'm saying. All I'm saying is it should have been my idea. Okay? So Stacey Lee, congratulations. You came up with a tremendous idea.

I don't know that's a million-dollar idea, but it's a good one. Now, how many times have you said to yourself, you know, I really want to change. I want to change. You want to change. You want to be something else.

Well, okay, Brian Little, psychologist at the University of Cambridge, just published a new book called Me, Myself, and Us. I started going through it the other day, but the main part of it is that he proposes that you are who you are by the age of 30, and you're not going to change. Now, by saying not going to change, he does leave. even out. He calls your personality plaster, and by 30, that plaster is set, and it's not going to be

soft enough to mold again. Now, he bases this research on this research that the psychologist studied these identical twins back in the 1800s. So I'm just now going through the book, and we'll see if there's anything other fascinating things in it. However, they say that even though your personality is set in. stone, you can act against your nature. But it's going to take a lot of energy, perseverance, to develop at what he calls new habits.

Wow. Oh, my gosh. That's exactly what, you know, okay, this is not a paid commercial. But I just found it funny that it's Dr. Anderson's habits of health, right? I mean, that's, you can't change. It just takes some work to change and make a habit. stick, right? Because, look, habits are what? Habits, what is a habit? Constant companion. Greatest helper or your heaviest burden. Push you onward or drag you down to failure.

Completely at your command. Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me. I'll tell you what. I'll read you. I'll read you the whole thing. And you tell me who I am. Okay. Who am I? Constant companion. Greatest help. helper or your heaviest burden. I'll push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me, and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed. You must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great men, and alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin. It makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will put the world at your feet. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you. Who am I? A habit! A habit. So you can change. You just have to work out a little bit. Maybe you pour a little water on that plaster and change just a little bit. And how do you pour a little water on that? Simple to lose.com. Simple. It's the number two-lose.com.

And it's just that simple. Here we go. This is the Jeff Fisher Show on the Blaze Radio Network. He's the Jeff Fisher Show. Welcome to it. 88-90-3-33 is the number. Michael Pelka. coming up right after this broadcast in mere moments from now.

Then we do a little Glenn Beck weekend. Chris Salcedo, Mike Slater, Joe Pags, all the rundown on Saturday of the Blaze Radio Network. Thank you for joining us. We appreciate it. Don't forget, hey, Christmas online, 1791.com, American Dreamlabs.com. Go to glenbeck.com slash store.

And, you know, we thank you very much, but there's some tremendous products on there. So if you're going to buy some stuff, hey, buy it from us. Buy it from us. then maybe I'll get my ghost drone for Christmas and, you know, I can deliver them to you. That's not going to happen really, but it sounds good because I really want a ghost drone for Christmas. It's all I want for Christmas. It's all I want.

Just want a ghost drone with cameras. It's all I want. That's all I want. It's my new song, too. It's not the Hillary song. Don't get me started on the Hillary country song. But it's all I want for Christmas is a ghost drone. Okay.

Now, I told you about the real doll picture shoot. Listen, that's capitalism right there. photographer comes up with an idea, takes the picture, she's going to make some money, right? puts it online, all of it. It has a big art gallery, show, everything. Now, the National Institute for Health, grant money.

You know why grant money is good? Grant money is good because grant money means you don't have to produce crap. If you get study money, study money, you actually have to come up with something. They give you money and you say, okay, here's money to go study if toenails will grow outside within the first 10 years of your life or whatever.

It's some stupid study. You have to produce something at the end of that and say, we studied 200 people's toenails outside in the rain, in the sun, you need to come up with something. You have to create something. Grant money. You don't have to create crap.

Grant money is free money. Here, go study this. Go study your toenail thing. Go ahead. And, you know, whatever happens happens, here's your money. So the National Institute of Health Grant, $466,642. They granted that to the Maggie Women's Research Institute. And I love the way this is worded, to study.

Okay, so this research institute can study the sexual habits of obese girls, including how often they have sex, why they are less likely to use protection when they do. Now, all right, the Institute of Health granted, grant money. We go to study that, but they really don't need to come up with anything. However, the obese girls consistently report having fewer dating and sexual experiences, but more sexual risk behaviors, i.e. condom non-use, once they are sexually active, money from the 2014 study, oh, this is a study. Oh, it's a study for them, but they got grant money from them.

Okay, so they have to produce some kind of paper. Money from the 2014 study will also be used to see how race plays into the sex lives of girls. Finally, by exploring how relationship experiences differ among African-American and white adolescent girls, our approach acknowledges that cultural differences in beauty norms exist and are important. The study will compare sexual relationships between obese girls and non-obese girls. The grant spent about $170,000 on a similar study last year that examined how being lesbian or gay affects a person's weight and health. Findings from the few studies examining weight disparities among adults

suggest that lesbian women are more likely to be overweight or obese compared to their heterosexual peers. Though less is known about gay men and bisexuals, the studies continue to go on. So I'm saying, just stop it. Our military, if you're not embarrassed, if you're not embarrassed by this government yet, you should be. I just looked at a couple of headlines and I immediately got pissed and that's why I try not to do these stories on this show. I try to have a little bit of fun and do some other stories because these stories pissed me off so much.

It's embarrassing. Okay, so if you're not pissed that we've nominated and voted in ambassadors to countries that don't speak the language, that know nothing about those countries, and we're going to send them there to represent the United States of America, if you're not pissed about that, because that's an embarrassment. And if I'm those countries, I'm pissed that you don't think enough of me to at least send a person from your country that has just a little bit of carry. about this country. A little bit. Their great-great-grandfather was born here. They've got a dirt in a bowl

that their grandma picked up on a vacation, something. And then we hear, oh, I heard the story that we went after one of the prisoners. We went after them, and we couldn't get them. They'd moved or whatever.

I thought, why are we announcing that? What the hell good does that do that we announce? Hey, we screwed up. Because that's our president's idea of, hey, I tried to do something, but it didn't work out. Our military sucks. Well, now we find out that the American journalist Luke Summers killed Friday during the desperate attempt of the U.S. Commandos to free him. So once again, our commandos screwed up and we're going to tell you about it.

We tried to get him. Hey, we couldn't get him so they killed him. Sorry. And now all we hear about is people in the military getting sexually assaulted. assaulted and they've dropped and they've gone up and we've got more and over 60,000 the thousands of people are saying they've been raped in the military.

Embarrassing. Embarrassing. I got to take a breath. Take a breath. Michael Pelka coming up next on the Blaze Radio Network. I'll try not to get upset. Relax. Take it easy. Take a breath.

I've got to go back to my last week and just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. Oh my gosh. I forgot to change clothes today, too. What am I doing? I'm not going to wear this all day.

embarrassing. This is the Jeff Fisher Show. Only on the Blaze Radio Network.