Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 10 | Deer Season, Jeffy Reads Podcast Reviews, & Jeffy Doesn't Know How To Recycle

Episode Date: October 12, 2018

Deer Season, Jeffy Reads Podcast Reviews, & Jeffy Doesn't Know How To Recycle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Blaze Radio Network On Demand Hello Welcome to it, happy Friday. How in the world are you? As I was getting ready and I'm looking through Welcome to chewing the fat

with myself, Jeff Fisher. And I appreciate you coming along for the ride. Monday through Friday podcast, you know that already. You know that you need to first you need to listen and then you need to rate review and share. It's fine.

You can do all that. You know all that. And we're going to get to some of your reviews in a little bit on the podcast because some of you have been, well, I tell you that how to review and, you know, you can review any way you want. I'm not a slave driver, but some of you aren't getting it quite right. And as I'm sitting here, I see another story come across that us talking about a former Texas teacher has, guilty to having an improper relationship with a 17-year-old student. Sarah Madden, Folks, 28 submitted a plea agreement to a Caldwell County judge on Thursday. Fox was arrested last year and suspended from her teaching position at Lockhart High School,

some 30 miles south of Austin. Before her arrest, police interviewed the 17-year-old who she had an improper relationship with and concluded that she had engaged in sexual contact with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of the student. I have a question. Is there a way that you can have sexual content without the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of whoever you're with?

Now, the plea deal, you don't have to answer, I know. The plea deal would give her four years probation, suspend her from her teaching license, and require a fine. Now, a judge hasn't okayed this yet, but that's a pretty good plea deal. And now you ask yourself, wait, how come she's not going to jail? Well, you know, I haven't read the intricacies of this story, but I'm guessing because she was 28 and he was 17. Still a student, Jeff, I know.

And another reason would be that she is a really not a bad-looking teacher, shall we say. And we've seen in the past, using, you know, predicting the future from the past, we've seen in the past that that tends to play a role in what happens to the teacher. Good looking? Nah, get out of here. Old, overweight, not good looking? Ooh, you should not be having sexual contact with the intent to arouse. Period. Period. Now, I filled in, I did the morning blaze.

This morning, it was the last one, the morning blaze here on the Blaze Radio Network, because Pat Gray from Pat Unleashed in the afternoons on the Blaze Radio Network is now starting on Monday. Monday the 15th, I think, is going to be doing the morning show, 7 to 9 Eastern, 6 to 8. Central. And so we did the last show of the, you know, the last morning show called the Morning Blaze this morning. And I started out with this story and I cannot get it out of my head. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. But I got a letter from now where my trailer is located used to be in one city here in the metroplex. And then the city of Fort Worth, who is about the size of the state of Rhode Island, decided, hey, we want to be.

we want to add another state to our to our city so we're going to uh just you know what we're going to just wiggle this area and you now fort worth it used to be that city but nope not anymore we just we're going to put an arm around you you're fort worth now oh oh okay so um i got a i got a letter a letter from the postal service mailed to my trailer in fort worth Texas from the Code Compliance Department Solid Waste Services Division. I love the Code Complacement. I mean the Code Compliance Department, Solid Waste Services Division. Love them.

Love them. Now, I remember last week my wife saying, I thought someone was out poking around the trash cans, but it made me nervous. Whatever. Well, yep, that's right. They sent one of their, you know, my trash can was audited.

And this letter says, on Monday, your recycling cart contains some items not accepted in the city of Fort Worth's recycling program. Okay. What did I put in that was so terrible? The non-program I've been found in your cart include plastic bags.

When is plastic bags? Not recyclable. I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. And they threaten me. You know, placing items not accepted in the city of Fort Worth program and your recycling cart could result in the removal of your recycle cart and the replacement of your current garbage cart with the next larger size. Oh.

Okay. Because I believe that, if I remember right, we got the size of the garbage can and the size of the recycling can. bin for a cheaper price because we got the recycling bin. Okay? So now they're saying, hey, we'll just give you the larger trash can, which I'm actually kind of fine with, so I can just throw it away. I don't have to freak and worry about what I need to recycle and what I don't want to. But, you know, again, they'll charge me more money for that.

But they sent me the list, of course, of what you can recycle. Oh, I can recycle metal and plastic lids, catalog magazine. telephone books, newspapers, office school paper, cardboard boxes, soda bottles, food and juice cans, junk mail, glass bottles and jars, pizza boxes, milk or juice cartons, soda cans, paper board, cereal boxes, water and milk jugs, detergent bottles, empty plastic containers. I can, uh, leaves and twigs, extension cords. Okay, leaves and twigs and extension cords, I can't put in there. Okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. Everything I read before that was things I can put in there. When did the plastic bag that says recycle on it? Can't go in the recycling. I can't believe it.

I really, I seriously cannot believe it. I think this is a cabal to kill the plastic bag industry. And they're trying. They're trying. They want the plastic bag industry gone. and America won't stand for it. I don't want to remember to have to bring in my carry bag. I don't want to remember that every time.

Now there's one grocery store in H.E.B. That I think maybe has one in the Metroplex, but I know when I go visit my son in Austin, that's the big chain in Austin is the HB stores. And they don't have plastic bags. but what they do is you can bring your own bag in and you can bring, but they sell

the H-E-B recycle bags that you can just keep bringing back to fill up with groceries. Now if you don't have any bags, you can carry all your groceries out in your arms or we'll sell you our bags. Yes. So

like every house in Austin, Texas has probably 25 or 30 or more H-E-B bags in their pantry because every time you run in there you buy a bag, I just give me a bag. I mean, HGB's got to be making a fortune. That's what it is. It's a cabal by the cities and the grocery chains

to kill plastic bags and start selling their own recycle bags to put more money in their pocket. I hate capitalism. Well, man, do I hate capitalism. The small European nation of Estonian has started embedding microchips into their citizens that are used as national ID cards.

Yay! Since the turn of the 21st century, Estonia has offered each citizen a government-issued digital identity, including a chip-embedded national ID card, and you can use it for Social Security, Health Insurance, Voter Registration, banking, and a whole lot more. It also now offers E-residency for people around the world who want to be part of the digital rights.

Revolution, allowing them to register a business in Estonia, which is part of the European Union, by the way. Estonian President Kirstie K-A-J-U-L-J-U-L-A-D said last week that Estonia is the first digital society and has its own state. All Estonian digital developments operate as a single society. Yay! Now, I know everybody is all worried about the more. microchipping and the mark of the beast. It's, and, you know, we used to, years ago, we did a jingle on the, you know, when we were doing, when I was with the Glenn Beck radio program every day, we did the jingle of a digital

angel. You know, it's not the mark of the beast. And, but it is. A lot of people believe that it is. The digital angel and the, and the chip is the mark of the beast. I'm ready for it. I know that comes as a social. surprised that I'm ready for the mark of the beast, but I don't believe that it is the mark of the beast.

And I really do. I just want, just chip me. I'm sick of having to carry everything with me. I'm really tired of it. Just chip me, please. Just put the chip in me so I can, boop. That's all. Oh, were you going to, did you want to eat? Boop. Oh, man, I got to get some gas. Boop. I'm a member of this place. Do you have your card with you, sir? No, I don't, but boop. Just hit me. I'm ready for it. Really?

Just, I know, I know, look, we're all giving up our privacy for convenience. Okay. Okay. What is going on? I know we can, we joke around about, uh, um, the walking dead and shows that are turning people into zombies and what could be the start of the walking dead. And we've talked about that on, on this podcast, um, things it could be. But now we've got stories of the distemper virus, the zombie raccoons in New York and around the country that are got this distemper virus.

Okay? And you watch videos of those and they are zombie raccoons. Okay? Yeah. And now we've got hunters in Michigan who are being warned about the infectious disease of the deer that they're killing because it's deer season. or it will be soon. I don't remember when the actual first day of deer season is. I haven't lived in Michigan in a long time.

But, you know, deer is a big commodity in Michigan. Now they've got some kind of infectious disease. What is going on? We talked about the zombie ants. We've talked about now. We've got zombie raccoons. We've got zombie deer. What the heck is going on?

If this is a cabal to get me to eat vegetables, Oh, we are going to have to figure out something. We are going to have to figure out something other than vegetables. But it can't be a peanut butter and mayo sandwich. I know I've been seeing this around ever so often that's driving me crazy. Why would you want a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich? Oh. Now, apparently it's a real thing.

It's been making all the rounds This is what I've been seeing is driving me crazy. I guess they have Jiff peanut butter has a recipe for peanut butter BLT sandwiches. You know, peanut butter, lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and mayonnaise. No, no, thank you. I love peanut butter. And in fact, when my mom used to make

grilled peanut butter sandwiches, just like you make grilled cheese when you just put peanut butter instead of cheese it was tremendous as a kid but according to this one kid in this story my mom had a sandwich with peanut butter and mayo when I was a kid and she gave me a bite and I've loved it since

no no I'm sorry no you were forced to eat it and now you're pretending that you like it that is not a real thing peanut butter and mayo no I say no stop right there I know we have, you know, specialty restaurants that, you know, are making, you know, bug ice cream for Halloween and pig blood ice cream for Halloween.

Okay. Okay. That's fine. As long as, as you tell me that peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich is a special little, special little breed of sandwich for your new little restaurant. Okay. I'm all for that. No problem. No problem.

Just don't try to make it a regular thing. Don't. Well, we're on our way to the water cooler. Let me tell you about real estate agents, I trust.com. You ever try to sell a house? If you have, you know what a pain in the rear it is. I mean, you've, people on call, and you want to keep coming in and out all the time,

and they want you to bake bread, they want you to hang balloons, they want you to paint the window, they want to do everything. No, no, no, no, no. Those days are over, okay? Those days are over. If you want to sell your house or buy one, real estate agents.

I trust.com. Real estate agents, I trust.com. We've got agents all over the country that are willing to help you, and they're smart. And they realize how to sell and buy homes in today's world, not old school. Now, you don't want your, you don't want your cousin's friend of a friend who's going to pull up and say, yeah, we'll put up a sign and we'll wait for the customers. No, it doesn't work that way anymore. Go to real estate agents, I trust.com. Real estate agents, I trust.

Dot com. All right, I need a drink badly. One of the things I saw that fascinates me is they really, ever so often they really want you to believe in exercise. And they keep pushing that hard on everybody all the time. Exercise, exercise, exercise. So now, um, we have to do that exercise. So now we have a study that walking fosters creativity.

Stanford researchers confirm what philosophers and writers have always known. Have they? That walking fosters creativity. Well, good for them. Good for them. I'm just letting you know. I'm not going to go deep into the study. I'm sure they found that, you know, someone who walked,

who was someone who was feeling stifled walked two miles and then wrote the best novel However. Okay, thank you. I'm sure I absolutely know that's in that story, and I haven't read it. Just know that whatever works for you works for you. You can quote me on that. As a matter of fact, whatever works for you, works for you. Like, did you realize that, you know, I joke around about plastic surgery, and I can see myself doing a little plastic surgery. I can kind of see myself doing some plastic surgery. And, but I, I, I, you know my theory, three cuts to clown face. And that, that's a, I mean, I believe that. I believe that wholeheartedly. Three cuts to clown face. And I'm not, I'm not saying I couldn't, I wouldn't turn into that because, you know,

you get the first one and the first one works great. The first one looks tremendous. And then you think, oh, I could do it again. And the second one doesn't quite match up to the first one. So you got to do another one just to kind of cover up that, whatever was wrong with. the second one. And then the third one, and then the next thing you know, clown face. So I can see how it could happen.

Well, now men are spending all kinds of money to grow at least three inches. And I say at least because really I should say only three inches. They cut, they put this thing on your legs.

All right? They break the bones, place the pins, within them and slowly pull the bone segments apart, allowing bone tissue to regrow within the gap and lengthening the leg by one millimeter per day. No, thank you. That's a heck of a lot of pain. Yes, yes it is. But now, there you go.

Now we have the internal lengthening implant. called the Precise Nail. Which revolutionized limb lengthening surgery? Did it? Did it revolutionize limb lengthening surgery? Because I'm sure

it was in hot demand. Now you can get it, if you go to Syria, you can get it for 15,000. If you go to Florida, that's 300 grand. You may probably be better off pay the 300 grand in Florida,

than the 15 grand in Syria. But, you know, do what you want. Do what you want. Now, this guy, you get three inches. All right, and it takes months, months, with the pen, the internal lengthening implant, the precise nail. After four days, once the surgery goes in and the nail goes in, the lengthening process begins. The patient is given a magnetic device that communicates with tiny gears inside the precise nail, that slowly lengthens the rod, averaging one inch a month.

One inch a month. Wow. And you get three inches in the end. Now, to justify the days in a wheelchair and weeks on crutches to curious co-workers, most patients lie and explain they had to get some work done on their knee. We usually get people up and walking on assisted after about four months. No, think. I had surgery on my knee. I'm trying to get a little taller.

You know. Now, maybe if your height impaired, maybe, maybe you struggled with it all your life, I don't know. I don't know. It just seems like that's a lot of pain and suffering to go to for three inches. How many times you said that in your life? All right, this is chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. You knew that. You're listening, right?

and you know that I've asked you to, well, listen, of course, but I know that, well, when you're done listening, to subscribe, rate, review, and share. Now, the first week, I just asked you to subscribe, rate, and review. And now I'm asking, if it's your first week, subscribing to the podcast, you don't need to share. You just need to rate and review. After your first week, then you need to add share.

So subscribe, rate, review, share. And I tried to assist you in your rating and your reviewing by asking that, you know, you just rate it 20 stars and that you review it best podcast ever. Some of you have taken that to another level. And I can appreciate that. I can, you know, you're not getting over on me. I get it. But I wanted to take some of the reviews, and let's just hear what other people are writing on the reviews. Five stars.

Jeffie is king. More, Jeffie is exactly what the doctor ordered. Now, again, that isn't best podcast ever. Chewing the fat. Sometimes you just need to put your mind in neutral and listen to a lovable, lulcherous old man provide all sorts of useful information on the best forms of debauchery and diabetes. If you ever decide to start a criminal empire, I will owe a debt of gravity to Jeffie. See, I highly recommend 20 slash 10.

It's cute, you know, it's not best podcast ever. What is this? I mean, see, I'm trying to save you some time. 20 stars, best podcast ever. You don't need to write a story. A review. I mean, come on. Jeff, Jeffrey Fisher, aka fashion, is quite possible the worst person to have ever lived.

He has contracted every disease known to man. That's true on this network. Runs a vast drug network, as well as curates a number of pornography sites, and has lived in the range for 300 to 700 to 80 years. This podcast is, however, where he gets to unwind. Touches on current events of the day, but spend most of the time on stories that sane and upstanding people don't even know how to find. If you are a law-abiding, generally good person, this is a wonderful way to look into the mind of a psychopath and experience my daily dose of the truly insane. See, that isn't a best podcast ever either.

That seems like we could have been done with just best podcast ever. I heard chewing the fat on the Pat Gray Show and wanted more. Checked and Jeff had a podcast about Walking Dead, which I don't watch, so disappointed. That's your problem, not mine. So happy to, so happy because I'd been, so happy because I'd been Jonesing for Jeffie. I mean, really, that should be my new motto,

Jones and for Jeffrey. I wish Jeff all the success he deserves and he does. Oh my gosh, that's so nice. Thank you. but again, that is not, it's just you and me talking here, best podcast ever. See, the next ones are like, there's stories. This is so funny. All you got to do is put 20 stars and, right, best podcast ever, you're done.

I appreciate the time you're putting in. Like this one's actually, you know, close. close the review looks like five stars and then it starts out 18 out of 18 ha ha ha

I get it this particular dumpster fire goes great with milk LOL love the show Jeffie thank you very much I appreciate it those are very kind words although it's not best podcast ever

we'll do these last two which are stories because they broke away from the mold All they had to do was five stars and write best podcast ever. 20 starts if I could. Okay. Seriously, this is the best podcast ever. You could have stopped right there.

That was it. You could have gone back to your kitchen. But no, you continued to write. One day, studies will be done that will dispassionably prove in an unbiased fashion that this podcast is amazing. Wait, what? Children will be taught morality lessons. from these episodes. The National Archives will be tasked with memorializing these recordings.

It is simply that good. So when you're out there, walking around, doing whatever it is you do, you will tell someone you don't know about this podcast. You'll have improved planet by setting in motion of potential of world praise. This is somebody that actually has been listening for a while. Because, you know, when I used to do the Fisher Files, a hundred years ago now in Tampa on 970 WFLA

I can remember I used to I used to at the end of the show tell people that you know when you're out there walking around doing whatever it is you do during the day and you see somebody you don't know you give them the finger from me

all right And so one day, then I said that, and my board operator, he looks up and gives me the finger through the glass. And so I'm like, no, not me. You don't give me the finger. You don't know the finger. And that started being the end of it every week. When you're out there doing whatever it is you do, you see somebody you don't know, you give the finger for me, all right? no you don't you don't give me the finger you get somebody you don't know and I used to see people all the time you'd be out and about and people would come up and jeffy they'd give you the finger so funny so good had so much fun with it

all right one last one and thank you so much for listening to chewing the fat I really appreciate it and I'd appreciate it you know even more when you subscribe rate and review and share this one uh 18 great podcast from a wise man of an undisclosed age who first came over to America on the Santa Maria with Columbus. Jeff, he's been through it all, and his contracted every disease known to man over centuries. He can count to 18 and thinks milk goes with 96.3% of foods. From what I heard, a crane is required to get him in and out of the studios. However, I'm unable to corroborate this claim.

No one has ever seen his feet, and legend has it. He was born with shoes on. Anyway, I highly recommend this for any or any podcast from the blaze. Okay, right there. I don't mind you listening. Just don't put it on my reviews. F.

I don't put any boozy sauce on his meals. It's explode. That's very funny. And there's another person that has listened a long time to the network and to the shows. And I thank you so much. Really funny. Really, really funny. I was not boring with my shoes on, but you don't need to be messing with the feet.

Okay. I know, you know, we can get to news and we can get to some of the things. top stories and we've got Kanye with Trump and we've got Saudi Arabia, you know, they let the guy go. They still want to do business with us. They want to be friends. We're still trying to find out, you know, who killed

who and what embassy that he get dragged out of and who has the suitcases in and out. And we're worried about the gas prices and we're worried about the tariffs. I got it. I do. But it's Friday. It's Friday. It's been a long week. It's been a long week for any of us.

And we've got the weekend coming up. I've got my weekend podcast. Don't forget Saturday, you'll have the podcast that gives you the story of hippopotamus is in America and camels. And it's just a quick story. It's actually a story about the two guys that fought to bring camels here. Hipoponimus is here. And it's fascinating. I could have read the whole thing, and it would have been, you know, an hour and a half long.

I didn't want to do that. So I'll put the link up to the story. and the link up to the camel stories and you can read the whole thing if you want or just listen to the podcast. I mean, I gave you the Reader's Digest version, the redacted, edited version. And it's a fascinating story.

So you look for that on Friday or on Saturday and that you can listen to that any time over the weekend. And then don't forget Monday you'll get two. You'll have the talking, walking dead, Monday morning and then, of course, chewing the fat in the afternoon. You can disregard talking walking dead, or you can disregard chewing the fat

and just listen to Talking Walking Dead. You have to listen to one of them. I'm saying you don't have to listen to both of them. You have to listen to one of them. I mean, that's, I'm pretty sure that's podcast law. And nobody has given me a complete list of all the podcast laws, but I'm pretty sure that's podcast law.

All right, so while you're out this weekend, and your wife says, You haven't been home all week. Why's you got to walk the dog? It's your turn to walk that damn dog. Just remember this, and you can tell her this for me. People who walk and talk to pets are smarter than those who don't. So go out for that walk and be more creative because we found out that walking makes you more creative.

And talk to your dogs, walk with your dogs. You're smarter than those who don't. Huh? kind of amazing, right? There's all kinds of people. There's all kinds of people that talk to their animals and you know you're one of them. If you have a dog, if you have had a dog

in your house, you absolutely talk to that stupid animal. Absolutely you do. And most of the time, if the animal is a loving animal that's been with your family that lives in your house, while as a human, you

know it doesn't fully understand it does, understand. You know that that animal understands what the gist of what you're talking about. It gets the vibes from you, right? I mean, you do. You feel it from the animal, which leads me into the next story about dogs becoming depressed when overuse of smartphones by their owners happen. I know. I know. You think dogs get depressed when their owners overuse the smartphones? That's what the study says. Now, the study really doesn't say that. What the study says is shows dogs may become more anxious and possibly suffer from depression when their owners overuse the smartphones. Okay,

so the Philadelphia veterinarian Dr. Alexander Collada said he's seen the effects of smartphone usage on pets. Dogs are very good at reading our subtle cues. Yes, I know. Doc, I just talked about that. So you don't like people using cell phones in your office, and you don't like using your cell phone. So now you've decided that you know what? That's right. Dogs may become more anxious and possibly suffer from depression

when their owners overuse their smartphones. Come on now. That's like a little kid. they want your attention. They're not getting depressed. They just want attention. Just like, well, just like the wife,

just like the husband, just like the kids. Everybody wants attention. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants that. You know what? I just want to be on my cell phone over here for a little bit.

I'll read a couple stories. I want to play a little game. I want to do whatever I want to do on my phone. Leave me alone. But I may get depressed if you on your phone for a period of time longer than, you know, a minute or so. So? I know, but possibly, possibly I could be suffering from depression if you just stay on your cell phone like that. Oh, no, we wouldn't want that.

Don't get depressed. So keep your animals up this weekend. keep your husbands up this weekend keep your wives up this weekend keep your kids up and smiling and not depressed by staying off your phones you know after you listen to the podcast

after that all good and in fact if you don't want to listen to it on your cell phone and you've got a newer car you can listen to it on Spotify now I know you're welcome okay what's that I said thank you

thank you you you can listen on Spotify You can listen on whatever whatever download app you want to listen to it on. You can listen to it on. We're here for you. But I just noticed that we're up on Spotify too.

So, I mean, that just plugs right into the kid. You don't have to worry about the phone, right? Why get the dog and the kids and the wife and the husband depressed looking at the phone just punch it up on Spotify and you're good? Right? Have a good weekend. Thanks for listening. We'll see you.

Be safe.