Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 114 | Fat Pile Friday: Jeffy's Missed Million Dollar Ideas, Toe Wrestling, & Florida's Ban On Chum,

Episode Date: May 31, 2019

Jeffy is a little mad as he has recently seen not one, but two million dollar ideas slip through his fingers as he asks himself, "How did I not come up with that?" We also explore the world of Toe Wrestling and seek out alternatives to fishing bait as Florida's ban on chumming makes things a little difficult.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fat Pile Friday on Chewing the Fat. Thanks for coming along for the ride today. I appreciate it. Let's start out with the way things are here in America today. Let's say you are the owner of a life-size replica of what you believe is a life-size replica of Noah's Ark. And you built this in northern Kentucky. And you have called it the Ark Encounter. The Ark Encounter.

What was the ark built for? What was the ark built for? Anybody? Raise your hands. Raise your hands. What was there? Oh, I know, because it was going to rain a lot. And there was going to be all kinds of water.

And then the arc would float. Right? So in 2016, they unveiled the 510 foot long model of Noah's Ark, the Ark encounter. again, how things are here in the world today. The owners of Arc Encounter, the life-size replica of Noah's Ark are now suing their insurance company for rain damage.

Let that sink in for just a second. The people who built the Ark are suing for rain damage. For some reason, I get a rim shot on that. I like it. What about the business, future business here in America,

where things are headed? We see that, we know that, you know, if you built an arc, you could sue now for rain damage. It's unbelievable to me. But are you familiar with Dyson vacuum cleaners?

You know, I mean, the world's best vacuum cleaner, according to Mr. Dyson. And, you know, they're expensive. And, of course, you know, like my father always said,

Only cost a nickel more to go first class. Always want to buy the best. He always want to be the best. He has now come on board. He's tired of people bug on him and looking at the electrical industry saying, you know what, I've created this vacuum cleaner. It's a beautiful thing. It picks up dirt.

Like every other vacuum cleaner on the planet, except this one works. It works great and it doesn't have a lot of noise in it. It's flexible. It turns around, does things that other vacuum cleaners can't do. You know, I ever tell you, I used to sell, well, I never sold vacuum cleaners. I sold compact cleaning systems. Because what do you have in a vacuum?

Nothing, of course, duh. So what are you picking up with a vacuum? Nothing. But with the compact cleaning system, we can get this house immaculate. Trade this old vacuum, man. Let me show you how good it works. Anyway, the, so he believes now that he's going to create an electric. vehicle. He's going after Tesla.

He's going after all of them. We're going to be driving the Dyson. I mean, better sweep up my garage at the same time. I'll tell you that. Good luck for him. I mean, look at the guy's a billionaire from vacuum cleaners. Bless his heart. If he wants to start making electric cars, go for it. He is walking

into a this car sucks mentality for everybody. I don't get a rimsh, I mean, don't give yourself a room shit? Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, don't steal my lines. because I was just about to say that. Wow. I was just about to say,

wow, he's walking into that car sucks mentality forever. Sorry, you don't get one. No. Sorry. This is my show. I want a rim shot. Original jokes only. Rim shot.

You tell you about this is an idea, another idea that we should have come up with. I'm so mad at my wife right now, I cannot tell you. And not because I have to buy a new car. And she told about the other one. But this Michael di Agostino, has now started an idea that is, why did my wife start this? It's an Airbnb of camping.

My wife is, you know, scouts, she camps all the time. She's going camping. That's what we had to unload the stupid car with because of the accident because you had it full of camping crap. I was forced to camp as a child. I refuse. I refuse.

I have not, level two star. Anything, two star or below, that's camping. Okay. And I don't even want to do that. I'm like three star and up is where I'm staying. But if I have to stay at a tour below, I consider it camping. Yes, we're camping. So this guy has now got his, he camps and he gets mad. He and his wife a few years ago.

He camps and he gets mad because he and his wife are camping and some wikins are out there doing their beautiful witch dances. And naked witches are running around crazy. And he gets all wound up and decides, well, I can't even come camping anymore. Parks are just so, okay, Mr. Snorty-Snoit. Okay. So naked witches are bothering you. I got it.

So he says, you know, campground system hasn't changed months since the Civil War, which he's right. And, you know, it's largely, he's run by the government, you know, no technology. And he thinks, what a great idea to start his camping business. I mean, and he's now 35 states. He has campsites in 35 states. 550 signature sites. They feature canvas wall-tended platform with a queen-sized cot or bunk bed, sun shower, camp, toilet, wood stove, as well as a grill, add around-dock chairs, a fire pit, a picnic table. They have 90 back country sites, which require campers to bring their own tents.

He's the Uber of camping, tenter, T-E-N-T-R-R. Why did that my wife think of this idea? Do you swipe left or right on the site? On Tenter? Yeah, you swipe left. Do you meet up in the woods? Is that what Tintr is? Ooh.

I like that idea, though. That makes me like this even more. I mean, I think I'm even more mad at my wife right now for not thinking of this idea. Holy cow. Now, there's a lady in Florida, as long as we're on people making business ideas that I should have had,

that are a million-dollar ideas. There's a lady in Florida that her Tweetin' dog, daughter, I call her tween daughter, apparently has big feet. I'm not making fun of the kid. Don't look at me like that. Like I'm making fun of this lady's daughter having big feet. But she had a tough time finding her daughter's shoes. Her 11-year-old daughter had, you know, big feet.

And they couldn't find shoes that were, you know, kid shoes, you know, footwear that's modern or looks good. It was all just functional, you know, big woman shoes. She couldn't find anything that were worth, you know, for the kids. kids want it. So she comes up and starts making her own. And now, I mean, seriously, I am like the, I'm one of the few people in America. This is a fast thing about this today, this morning. Well, I've been, I've been doing Pat's show with Pat the last couple days and tomorrow's the last day for a while. And I, I love working with Pat. But I was thinking about this. I'm probably

the only person in America broadcasting. A network. That it's okay to call fat. I mean, okay, so sure, I call myself fat, and the show is chewing the fat. My face is on a steak. Okay, and by the way, why isn't Omaha Steaks a sponsor of this program?

My face is on one of your steaks. It should be a sponsor of this broadcast. They're sponsoring this network. Omaha Steaks, I hear them on Buck Sexton on Premier. I hear him on Glenn Beck on Premiere. Okay, so maybe they're advertising on Premiere. Maybe that's the kick. But they should be advertising on chewing the fat.

You just don't have enough subscribers. I'm sorry. Chris isn't here. Did I mention that? And sometimes the new people just think they can chime in or anything when they want to say things. So just no. No, that that's not the case anymore. So I know that's why.

I got it. Thank you. I appreciate the reminder. But I would do the self. I would sell for them hard, man. They, I would go all out for Omaha stakes. I was looking at some of their deals today. I may be ordering some soon.

It looks well worth the deal. And you can use offer code Beck. By the way, get you another percentage off. Is that just a commercial for them? Anyway, so this lady comes up with an idea for, you know, the big kids shoes, million dollar idea, fat kid's shoes. Are you kidding me? Why isn't this?

That's a million dollar idea. Fat kid shoes. I mean, she's not really calling them fat kids shoes. kids shoes. Ugly big feet shoes. She's not calling them that. She's just calling them Hannah's shoebox. But that's what it is.

It's a big feet, big kid, fat kid, a million dollar idea. It's going to be huge. Going to be huge. She's partnering up with all these other people. She's out of Tampa Bay. I mean, good for her. Congratulations.

Congratulations are in order as well. As a matter of fact. This isn't a business, although I guess you could turn it into one if you could get sponsors. I didn't realize that this was an actual sport, but I missed, because I missed the championship. They had the 16th, 16th world championship of toe wrestling. I know, I know. Alan Nasty Nash was crowned the toe wrestling world champion in Wet in England, taking home his 16th title.

He's the guy. He's the guy. I mean, that's amazing. The World Championships, they began in 76. This is his 16th. Wow. Amazing.

Now, according to Alan Nasty Nash, some of his competitors are going up against him with their toenails removed. He's wrestling. I don't think that should be illegal. The toe wrestlers are removing their, their toenails. And when you look at them fight, there's video of it,

and I could show it to you, but, you know, there's no place for you to see it. And I say that just because there's no place where to see it. I look at the camera every day. I stay here. There's the cameras in this room. I look right at you directly when I want you to know something directly coming from me, and

you don't see it. But I know that I did it to you, so I feel better about myself. It looks more like a foot wrestling than a toe wrestling, because they put you inside a little designated area and you lock up your toes with the person that you're going up against and you try to get the other person over to the other side of the space so that their foot hits the wall of the other side of the space.

And so it's more like kind of more like more foot rustic, but I guess you can only do it. You probably can't lift your heel. I was watching them. You can't lift your heel. So you just got to use the top of your foot. I'm not doing that. I got this thing with...

Just leave it at that. I got this thing. But congratulations to Alan. Nasty Nash. So how is that configured? Is there like a box with two glory holes on either side of it? And you just put your foot in there and guess? Don't give me that.

Look at the real question. No, it's sitting on a board. You're outside. And it's sitting on what looks to be a mini surfboard. put a picture in your head I'm sure it's not a surfboard but it just looks up here like a mini surfboard

with two little walls in the middle so your feet would go in between these two walls and I'm pretty sure and I look I could be wrong I'm pretty sure the toe wrestling federation doesn't call them glory holes but so and then you

have your feet in between that do they have like walk-up music are we still on the toe wrestling because I'm ready to move on from the toe wrestling and I just I mean My bad. You know what?

No, listen, I'm going to play the video for you. All right. You made me bad now. I want to play the video. Here, I'll play it for you. Those of you at home, look at your cameras. Hope you go in an ad first. Oh, good.

Yeah. Oh, no. All right, so there's no audio on the clip. And I just looked at, I just looked at a couple more clips and it's just reporters reporting the same thing that I told you how it's played. Because apparently you don't want to hear what toe wrestlers have to say in the reports. So if I find a riveting interview over the weekend on toe wrestling, I'll play for you next week.

Cross my heart. Hope to die. Okay. So let's talk a little bit about the Me Too movement that we're involved in the world today. And I know you think to yourself, no, we're not still a Me Too movement has moved on. No, it hasn't. It's still out there lingering around. Like when you have someone who's still trying to be relevant in Hollywood, like let's say

Saturday night live along Chris Katten, who still trying to be relevant when he's interviewed, says that Lauren Michaels once pressured him to have sex with a director so she would stay attached to the 1990s comedy film a night at the Roxbury. So when you say to yourself, oh, really? Okay, cool. And then you read the story, and it really isn't that. It really isn't that. I mean, he did say that, but the way the story gets told is it's more like, hey, I don't want her to go anywhere.

Why don't you go out with her and be nice to her so she stays on the movie? I'm not saying you have to her, but it wouldn't hurt, Michaels allegedly said. So then Katten says, well, it didn't happen. and so it says it didn't happen. Now, let's move on. Caten says, well, ultimately, we did have consensual sexual encounter on the couch in her office. So that's Lauren Michael's fault? Are you kidding me?

We are doomed. And Caton should be sent away. for trying to be relevant over that. That is agonizing. I'm sorry. That is too much for me to have. Go away. I understand that you want to be relevant in Hollywood these days.

I get it. I get it that times are tough for you. And nobody really knows. You know, we see your face in a picture and we go, oh yeah, that's him. There's that guy. And so when somebody sees you at the truck stop, filling your gas, and they go, hey, didn't I?

That guy looks familiar, man. And you say, oh, yeah, my name is Chris Kat. and I used to be on Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Yeah. No idea. So even your Me Too trying to stay alive relevant, it's not working at all, Chris. All right, let's go to the break room.

I need a drink of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar desperately on this Friday end. Fresh, sizzling cold. Anybody ever call cold sizzling? Coca-Cola Zero Shale. Oh my gosh. That is probably at the perfect temperature, too. want to say thank you because what's keeping my Coca-Cola zero sugar the perfect temperature is my Coca-Cola zero-sugar little refrigerator that I got as a gift from a listener.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I use it. Every day. I love it. And it was the perfect gift. Those of you other subscribers to chewing the fat, if you want to send gifts, I mean, okay. Thank you.

I'm more than happy to accept them. You can send them to the studios or Mercury Studios here in Irving, Texas. And I'll tell you the address in just a second. Wait, you don't know the address at the top of your head? I don't know the stupid address of this place. How long have you been here? It's on Riverside Drive in Irving.

Building 1, 76. What's the, what's the Jenny Jenny? 76. Jenny, who can I turn to? 7.5.309. Yeah, because it's 75309 is the Jenny-Genny number, but our zip code is 75039. So whenever I hear it's 750339,

I think of the Jenny Jenny. Anyway, 6301, Riverside Drive, Building 1, Irving, Texas, 75039, chewing the fat, care of Jeff Fisher. Any gifts you want to send. You don't have to. I'm not saying you have to, but, you know, if you want to thank me for the work I'm doing, providing for you every single day.

I mean, even on Sundays usually when I don't give you a new podcast. I mean, I'm still working for you. Please. So, you know, if you want to send something, that's great. You can email me at Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com and say, hey, hey, Jeffie, love the show, gift on the way. And so I have something to look forward to, even if you didn't send a gift. It's something to look forward to. So I could email you back in about a month going, didn't get a thing.

those postal workers. Anyway, I'm happy to accept gifts and the Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Refrigerator was perfect. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. So just remember to subscribe to chewing the fat. All that for a subscription to Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com. Just chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher, subscribe.

And then if you're an Apple or iTunes user, you can leave a, make sure you leave a comment and rate and review it. So you can just do it 20 stars, best podcast ever. It's all good. Other people find the podcast. subscribe. Share it with your friends and let other people know about the show. And I'm looking right at the camera right now. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. One in four parents wake up to check their phones at least once per night. How about you? 61% of parents and 70% of teens

checked their phones in the half hour before bed. In 2011, when phones were still dumb, in 2011, they were still dumb in 2011? They were dumbish. But, I mean, we weren't using them like we use them now, but we were using them in 2011, similar to now, similar. $63 billion in lost productivity annually in the U.S.

per the America Insomnia Survey. Boy, I didn't get an opportunity to dive into the America Insomnia Survey, but maybe I should one night when I can't sleep. Oh. Thank you. So now, I mean, so I find myself, you know, they've always told you that it's a bad thing to do. You shouldn't be looking at your phone before you get back because it's like a jolt of espresso, right? I mean, it wakes you up when you're looking at your phone.

Although it works the opposite for me. If I'm tired, I, you know, you have maybe a silly game you play or something. I mean, the phones are so much now that I think that we're not using it like we used to use it. So now you're either, if you're reading something or you're looking for text messages, if you're looking at Twitter or any of your social accounts like say at Jeff EJFR, my Twitter account or Jeff Fisher Radio, which is my Facebook or Instagram account, if you're looking at those, then you're doing something that you're looking for that fix, right? But your phones are so much more than that now.

Games and, you know, music and whatever that will assist you in sleeping. And they're your alarm clocks. I mean, who has an alarm clock in their house anymore? I mean, I actually, I have one sitting at my nightstand. I haven't used it and I cannot tell you how long. In fact, it is unplugged now. It's still there because I feel like, oh, that's my alarm clock. It's been with me for all this time.

I don't want to get rid of it. But I use my phone. You don't have it as a backup or anything? Not anymore. Not anymore because I get up. I mean, now, I mean, it's been so long since I know how to train my body to get up. I know when to get up. I really, I hate, I hate so much.

And I mean it, I hate it. I don't just like it. I don't just kind of not like something. I hate being woke up out of my sleep by an alarm. I despise it. Sometimes you have to. If you're overtired and you're using it and you have to get up early, like I get up at like 3.30 in the morning.

to come in and do Pat's show. When you're doing the morning show, you're up at 3.30. But for years, I did the morning show. I may have talked about this before. But for years, I did a morning show where it started at 5 a.m. So I was up at 2 every morning, every day. I did that for a long time. And I trade myself to get up.

So when I go to bed at night, and I'd go to bed, you know, I'd come home in the afternoon and take a quick nap with the kid. That's when the kids were real little and they wanted to take naps. Let's go take a nap. You don't get those days back. And then, you know, you get up and you work for a while and you hang out, do whatever you got to do in the evening. And then you're in bed by, you know, 8 o'clock. You got to get at least six to five hours of sleep.

And if you can't live on five hours of sleep, p. That a puss. But I trained myself how to lay down in bed and think of what time it is now. And I watch a clock in my head go to the time I want to get up. stop it and tell my body that's when I want to get up and then I get up at that time. So you're telling me you don't have an alarm at all. It's my inner alarm clock.

No, I still have one. I still set one out from my phone. I use my phone as an alarm because now I have other issues. You know, I had a heart event at the first of the year, six months ago. And that's been six months already. Six months without a cigarette. Anyway, I had this heart event, and it's this medication that they have me on, and so, you know, that throws the whole body clock completely off. I mean, you take this medicine and when you're gone.

So, I mean, that kind of throws me off. I need the alarm to get up and get going. But when I don't have to, if I have to get up, I mean, I still try. Like, I hate hearing it so much. I still attempt it, even with the medications. I mean, I despise it. I'd rather just like when I wake up It's time to get up

If I beat the alarm Oh Thank you Jesus I was still in the break room So we might as well do some sports Right You're about Brony James LeBron James kid

Uh he finally His dad said that he could get On Instagram when he was I think 14 Right Air to the throne Brony James

Whatever But it's kind of a cool story Because dad said when he was 14 that he could break into social media. So he pops on Instagram, million followers. Less than a day. Brony James, a million followers. I mean, it's pretty amazing. Good for him.

I mean, he's, look, it's set up for him, right? I mean, he's living up. I don't want to break his heart, but it's not just all because of him. You know, he's got dad, you're riding on dad's coattails, but you might as well ride it. Those are the coattails you got, man. Good for you. Uh, more sports.

Johnny Mansell. In the news again. Why? Well, it's not Johnny that's in the news, really. It's the ex-wife. They, uh, you know, they've had a big, they were problems here in, uh, Dallas and Fort Worth, in the Metroplex, they had big problems. He had some fight in an apartment and this, he'd been battling the,

well, you know, that still, that case may even still be going on, uh, here. But, uh, she had a big divorce party this last weekend in Miami. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She loves. I loved Johnny so much that we're having a big divorce party in Miami. And I want people to know that I am happy to have him out of my life. I deleted it all. He is gone.

Ouch. You ain't lying. Ouch. Have a nice freaking day. That's enough sports. So I'm looking at this study from Match.com. You know, who doesn't believe in studies from Match.com. They asked over 5,000 single people, I guess 5,000 people who claimed they were single on Match.com.

Don't know if they were actually single or not. In the U.S., what their biggest dating turnoffs were, and personal hygiene came to the top of the list. 96% of women and 91% of men seeing it as the most important factor. I would say, I don't know what about the people who don't see that as the most important factor. I mean, personal how you don't want, would you like to go out on a date? I mean, there's nothing I enjoy more than B.O. No, thank you. I wouldn't say it's the most important since you can't possibly know that by seeing a photo.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. If you're just doing it from swipe right or left or match.com, fill this out and take a look and talk on the phone. It'd be like that guy smells. That's what we need. He looks like he has some BO. Yeah, there's some people that you can tell. You can just tell.

It's in the photo. Some hue right next to them. You can just tell. You just know. You just, no, no, thanks. No, that there smells. Have you ever? I don't want to talk about it.

I almost went down a story. I don't want to talk about it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Are you single? Taylor? No, I'm married. Are you really? I'm married.

Three years. Does she, she's happy about this? Yeah, she's happy. Yeah, it was a couple. It wasn't scheduled decision. It wasn't scheduled or anything with the... It wasn't arranged by parents. Yeah.

Well, congratulations. So, you have any kids yet or anything? No kids. Not for a little while. You don't. Whatever you do, don't. Just don't. Just don't.

I'm hearing that a lot more now. Yeah, just don't. I mean, did I say that out loud? No, kids are great. The kids are great and they're so much fun and they bring so much joy to your life. There's just nothing like it. There's nothing like it. like it so of course you should you should have as many and you should have as many as you can

right now when you're young because there's some people fools had children when they you know were older in life so a body odor is a no-no uh they also will go down the list of a makeup that masks your features yeah it's you know the big thick makeup stamped on eyebrows i mean i know several females uh that actually had like eyebrow surgery You know, so they had their real eyebrows, which I guess they weren't ever happy with them. We're done picking them all the time. So they had new eyebrows, you know, stained down almost like a tattoo, you know, a tattoo eyebrow. So you said stamped.

I literally thought somebody just got a stamp and just. That's maybe why they put it on. They may have put that out like, okay, we're going to knock you out here for just a second. Okay, we're good. Get out. It's very possible. That's the way they did it. Like a purple bruise around you tie.

You got to come back once a month. Get the stamp. Last time you guys didn't hit the right spot, I had my eyebrow like crooked on my forehead. Oh, I know. Sometimes that happens. You move your head just as I'm getting ready to stamp. Sorry.

I'll try harder next time. Oh, there you go. That's pretty close. Get out. Obvious fake tan on the list. Yeah. I mean, obvious fake tan. Although, I will say that there are several humans.

that I see on television with tans that have to be fake that are not too bad to look at. That's just me. Just me. Bold lipstick and sticky lip gloss. I don't know if I, I don't know if I agree with that because look how many females we have now that are shooting up their lips, making them, you know, big and fat.

I watched a video the other day where they showed this wonderful, girl going through the process of the lip fattener. I call it lip fattener. But she was going through the putting Botox in and the tightening. And no thank you. I mean, I've had needles put in me in every place you can think of. I know. But yes, the answer is yes.

Ouch. But I don't want that. I never have and when you say everywhere I should apologize because it's not everywhere I don't ever remember having shots in my face like that I mean they're tightening up around the noses and maybe you should fat man make you know get rid of some of that

fat on your face I know I'm with you and I'm not a point if you want to do it do it God bless you just remember my theory you start doing plastic surgery three cuts to calm face you're there you know that that's that's the theory it's been proven true

It's fact now. Three cuts to clown face. But I'm questioning, I've got to rethink some of the thoughts because there's so much work being done on humans, on the faces that technically aren't plastic surgery. You know, they're the skin fillers, the skin fillers on the tighteners and the fat lippers. What do they call that?

Okay, lip fillers, fat transfer, lip implant. Oh, so lip implants would be plastic surgery. They can be utilized to transform aging. Yeah, no kidding. And we got what it does. In the smooth, plump, youthful-looking lips. No. No, they don't give you youthful plump-looking lips.

Most of the lip fillers do not help. I'm sorry? They just don't. if you usually go too far. Stained teeth on the list? Oh yeah. Big turn off. Yeah, big turn off.

Big turn off. 67% of men said they judge someone for their teeth. 81% of women. Yeah, that's a big one. Big one. Makeup at the gym. You know, I usually wear my makeup at the gym. Because you're getting ready for the day.

You don't want to have to put it on after you're done working out. It's such a, you know, you're there working out. You got to go. If the male or the female is wearing makeup at the gym, they're there for other reasons. All right? They're not there to work out. They don't have an intention of showering afterwards.

Well, they may have an intention of showering, but afterwards, but it ain't at the gym. Okay. That's someone else's house. It's back here. Thank you. Hard hair is a problem. That was on the list.

Try hard. You know, people trying to make their hair put product in and try to have their hair all done. Yeah, nasty. Nasty. I can understand that. But that's probably low on the list because there's plenty of females that do extensions now. So I don't know that that counts as hard hair.

Just a few things that singles are looking out there thanks to Match.com. the fat and I've got tremendous tremendous animal stories today we've got the Florida banning I don't know did I mention that Florida I think I did mention that Florida is banning chumming for sharks

so if I want to go to Florida and fish for sharks I can't just throw guts and blood fish in the water to get the sharks to come up I mean how am I supposed to catch sharks? That's just wrong I got these impossible baits now that are completely plant-based I'm completely joking.

Stop it. That's a million-dollar idea, though, because the fishermen are going to be looking for something. If we catch one shark with this stuff, we'll sell a million-dollar idea. There we go. All we have to do is get a plant-based chum. So it's not blood and oil and pieces of ground-up fish. So it's plant-based.

But we call it, you know, impossible chum. I like that impossible chum. That's a million dollar idea. You are welcome, America. Yeah, forget the fat shoes. This is even better. Yes, it is. All we have to do is take it down to Florida, man, and catch one shark.

We are good for every bait shop from here to the keys will be hawking an impossible chum. Going shark fishing? Use that. You can't throw real fish guts in the water anymore, but I got some of this impossible chum for you. Yes. That's a tremendous idea. Who needs Chris Cruz, man? Seriously, that's a tremendous idea.

I freaking love it. So there's also another, this is not of Florida too. Most of this stuff, you know, it's funny how these animal stories all come from Florida. But a man was at a golf club and he saw an alligator coming right at him. And the gator grabbed his leg and started pulling him down into the water. So he just started clubbing him. the hell out of this gator with this putter. That's what you got to do.

You should have done that long before that got close to him grabbing you, man. That gator starts coming at you. If you're unable to run away, and gators can run pretty fast. And, you know, if you don't know about gators, you should go to Gatorland. I've promoted them before in this broadcast. I am a huge Gatorland fan in Kissimmee, Florida. It's right on the Orlando-Kasimi line. It is a tremendous place to go.

and have some fun. You catch the the jumper roo at Gatorland. So what they do is they have chickens that they tie to a rope and they string the rope

is across the pond and they just slide the chicken across the pond and the gators, you know, they go down to, they use their tail to push themselves out of the water. So they jump up,

thus the name jumperoo, and they jump up and grab the chickens off the string. It is tremendous. And some of the Gatorland workers will stand down the edge and hold the chicken up out of the air, you know, and the gator jumps out of the water to get the chicken.

I mean, I love it. And they eat hot dogs. I cannot promote Gatorland enough. I want to go there again so bad. I haven't been there. It's so long. I told you before. You just go and you buy a bunch of hot dogs.

You can buy them from Gaterland, which is, you know, it's up to you. If you want to give Gatorland the money, you go right ahead. But they do charge more than what you could get a giant package of hot dogs from Sam's Club or Walmart and go, because you're going to want to throw more. You just continue to throw more. You just continue to want to throw more into the river. It's so fun.

Anyway, the guy beats the gator and that's the story. But more of the story is go to Gatorland. In Texas, a large rat snake discovered hiding in shopping carts. I mean to tell you, now we have to not only worry about germs in the shopping carts. I mean, you go to those stores like the, you know, the super centers, the Walmart super centers of Sam clubs and Costco's. I mean, they have got, I mean, when my son was real little, we were driving along beside a Sam's Club. And they had all the carts rode up along the side of Sam's Club.

And we've said this line since he said it. He's just a real little kid, Maximus, who you've heard of do the podcast with me before on Talking Dead, Talking Walking Dead. He was driving by it. He looked and he was like, whoa. that's a lot of cards I mean that is it's been you go buy those stores now and all I can think of is whoa

that's a lot of cards so that doesn't surprise me that more animals especially like snakes don't wind up in those carts and so just keep an eye out keep an eye because they had you know they called in the specialists of course

can't have just a worker walk up there and club the snake in today's world back when I was working at the stores something like that showed up a shopping cart, you just say, let me have it. And you'd be good with it. There you go. Here's your cart. Get out of here. Go shopping.

I'm right. In Texas, you should be able to, oh, there's a snake. Go ahead and shopping. I get it. I'll sweep it up. You've got to use the cart. I mean, it's just that easy. Right? It should be that easy in any state. But for sure, the great state of Texas. Oh, is that a snake? Yeah, go ahead and use the cart. Thanks for shopping at Sam's. Really?

Some sad news. Some sad animal news, too, as well today. The last male Samatran rhino in Malaysia died. I know. I know. Look, I know there's other rhinoceruses on the planet. And so this isn't like the last rhino because there's other rhinos on the planet. But this is a particular kind.

And the last. male died. Now there's more females of this particular kind of some odd trained rhino around, but since there's not a male anymore, I mean, what are you going to get? A raccoon rhino?

We can just have the females just identify as a male and we're good. And we're good to go. And again, I quote the documentary Jurassic Park, life will find a way. I mean, it will. It could happen. It could happen. And you could also end up with, you know,

The raccoon rhino or is it the rhino raccoon? I don't know. Because we got, I saw a story out of England that has the raccoon dogs. They're all over this village and people are terrorizing this village. They don't know what to do. Now when I first saw the story, I think, so, wow, raccoons and dogs are mating. And now we have this Frankenstein breed of the raccoon dog. that are out terrorizing neighborhoods now.

And that could happen. I mean, there's raccoons everywhere right there. I mean, raccoons are mean, raccoons are mean. I mean, actually, the dog might actually make the raccoon. If there was an actual dog and a raccoon that bred, it might calm them down a little because raccoons are mean. But if you get a mean dog and a raccoon,

you've got a monster on your hands. So I'm thinking that, but actually it's a raccoon dog. It's not a dog. You know, a German Shepherd didn't go, hey, you with the mask. Do you back up over here? That didn't happen. It's a dog that kind of looks like a raccoon.

So it's just a raccoon dog that's terrorizing this neighbor. If this was Texas, is that a raccoon dog? Yeah, we got it. No problem. It's not terrorizing this town anymore. No problem. Stop it. I'll come here, a little doggy.

We don't have to worry about them anymore. It's fine. Are you serious? We're going to worry about these dogs terrorizing neighbors? We don't know what to do. The people are scared and it's going through the trash and they're driving people crazy. I'd know. Is that the raccoon dog got out by the trash?

And we're good. Neighborhood's good. Go tell your aunt she can take the trash out. I mean, stop it. Well, I don't understand. I really, I really, I don't, I don't, I don't understand. When it's just that simple. It just doesn't make any sense to me as all.

You know,