Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 124 | Kissing Rings & Breaking Protocols

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

Jeffy decides to break protocol like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Then Jeffy goes down the line and kisses the ring...  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm disappointed that I didn't realize this was going on in the world, but apparently, thanks to the HBO show Chernobyl, people are showing up at Chernobyl posting picks of themselves on Instagram and Twitter, and this one that they showed in the story is of a pretty, what seems to be good looking Eastern Bloc female with just underwear on I'm sorry, panties

and in a hazmat suit on zipped half off so tourism is way up thanks to Chernobyl but I mean tourism is going to go up even more if these pictures are being posted but Craig Mazen

is a Mazin M-A-Z-I-N-E-N-Z-I-N the guy that did Chernobyl and put it together. He tweeted, it's wonderful that hashtag Chernobyl HBO has inspired a wave of tourism to the zone of exclusion. But yes, I've seen the photos going around. If you visit,

please remember that a terrible tragedy occurred there. Comfort, I guess he spelled it wrong, but I'm just, you know, he's a verified Twitter account. He should spell correctly. Comfort yourselves.

with respect for all who suffered and sacrificed. Shut up, Craig. That's why I'm going to reply to that tweet. I'm going to find this Twitter. I'm just shut up. Shut up. Are you kidding me? Charan Noble, if you haven't seen the five episodes on HBO,

well worth the watch. And it's well worth the watch. Craig is just pissed that he had no idea he was making his limited series. that made people realize how bad communism was when he was trying to make it seem like it was Trump. You violated political. So let me go back to Craig Mason,

whining people up about these pictures. Shut up. Are you happy now? I forgot that we had the violation music. What the hell is he played? on this boy. I can't. I don't know why today, but I just can't. I just don't. I feel like I just can't today. It's a weird feeling. Welcome to Chewing the Fat. Thank you for coming along for the ride today. Really appreciate it. Um, please subscribe. We need your subscriptions. Listen, it's free.

I went out of my way. I went over. I walked over to the powers that be today. And I said, look, we need subscribers to chewing the fat. Please make it free. and they thought no Jeff no and I please just listen would just make the audio free just make the audio free and so they finally okay Jeff fine so the audio of chewing the fat where whatever podcast platform you get it from is free I don't know how long they're going to let me keep that but so subscribe now's the time to subscribe I will make sure that if you're subscribed prior to them charging for it, that you'll be grandfathered in.

It'll be free for you forever. You're welcome. So we talked a lot about the Bezos divorce and the big money. And that was kind of fun. And look, divorces are not fun. Either way. I tried to talk a little bit about that too with the Bezos. But the story now about the Robert De Niro voice or divorce is,

It brings it, puts a smile to my face. I know divorces. Divorces stink. If you ever been through one, you know it's not fun. If you haven't been through one, you don't want to go through one. I know there's an attorney commercial going on here in the Metroplex now that will make your divorce fun. Stop it. But good for him for at least trying to niche out a little extra cash in his pocket.

But apparently, DeNaro's worth like $500 million. I mean, that's not a bad. he's done a pretty good for himself. Now, the wife, or the ex-wife, they've been married a couple times. They got married and divorced, and then they got married again. They got divorced. And she signed a pre-up in 2004. But I think it may be the first time they were married for a couple of years.

And I don't know that there was a pre-up to that what marriage. But the original deal, according to Robert, limits her to a $6 million apartment. and $500,000 cash and a million dollars a year. I don't know how you can live on that. She obviously can't. You can't. Yeah, she obviously can't. She's struggling because she's saying,

I read the wording of this pre-up, my attorneys and I, and we believe that everything that you've made since 2004, half is mine. So that's what they've been going to court for. Remember the footage of De Niro running around with the newspaper? in front of his face outside the courthouse and stuff. That was from some of the divorce stuff. So he was pissed. And he was pissed in the courtroom too.

He even tried to get pissed in the courtroom. And the judge was like, whoa, whoa. Robert. Calm down. The judge even made a joke. Like, well, now his income is going to fall now that counsel Robert Mueller is out of the picture on Saturday Night Live. I mean, the judge has tried to light it up a little bit like,

Bob, take it easy, pal. Okay? So since 2004. De Niro has made $300 million. Since 2004, I'm trying to think of what I've made since 2004. Yeah, can you add them up? 2004, I'd have to tell me. Use my hands if you need.

Zero. I carry the one. It has not been three. Are you sure? Yeah. 2004, that's like like 14 years ago. Yeah, that's a long time ago. Since then, I'm under 300 million.

I know. I know. I know. So, I mean, that's not a bad amount of time. He's 35 businesses and 38 movies. 35. He's made him 300 million. Yeah, he's, uh, he has that bar, right? In a hotel?

Yes. He said in a restaurant that Trump is not allowed to go in. Yes, the no-bo sushi chain. Yes. Yes. And then he's also got his, uh, uh, uh, Greenwich Hotel. Yep. Yep.

And then he's got his, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, canal productions, which is, I don't know that all those movies he's in. Oh, May from, oh, okay, got it. And so that's not bad since 2004. No, that's not bad. But the act is like, you know, half of that's mine.

We've read, we've looked through the book. And you can pull that little pre-knop on me, but I cannot survive on the $6 million apartment. What is all she gets? She gets the $6 million apartment. She gets $500,000 cash. I mean, 100,000 cash. I mean, that's good for a year.

maybe, and then she gets a million dollars a year in alimony. I'm sorry, but what happened to our justice system? You cannot live up. A pre-up no longer is pre-upped? It is, but if... No, I'm sorry. I signed a pre-up, you're done. Understand.

And you said, yes, I want to sign a pre-up, and you sign it. But then when you go back and look at it and you go, well, the wording, I believe, says that I... No, I'm sorry, you sign a pre-up. I know, but I looked at it again. And the way it's worded. Our justice system is upside down. I get 50%. First you got a stripper hooker suing the president

because she opened her mouth. And then now you got this one saying preempts don't work. No, she accepted the prenupt. She's just saying that I think that, you know, I think your wording is wrong and I should get more money. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Good for her.

No. Yes. No. Yes. No. You sign a pre-up, you know what? Anybody else I believe, I'd say yes. Robert De Niro.

No, I mean it. Anyone else other than Robert De Niro? After all his bash Trump and F Trump and his whole thing. Violation. You're right. Damn her. She signed the pre-up and take your $6 million apartment. And go.

Your 500 million with 500,000 cash and a million a year. Go away. And shut up. I mean, Robert, if you're looking for somebody that you want to pay, you know, 500,000 cash in a million a year and just, you know, dump me in that dump of apartment that's only $6 million. I'm your man. I'm your man. I don't know that I could hang out with Robert, though. I don't know.

Careful. You're on the line. No, I'm just saying that, you know, just because I'm a fan. I'm a huge fan. I love a lot of his work. Like? Score. One of my favorite movies of all time.

One of my favorite. I love Robert. There's all kinds of De Niro movies that. Like, well, do not Google. What are you moving your mouse? Look at us. Don't need to move your mouse. What, what?

A lot of movies that I like. Like some of those 38 movies that his company, man, love him. Sharktail. Love them all. Love them all. Give me one more. I can't. Just gave me one.

I'm good fellas. There you have me. Okay. There. Although I don't really like. I don't think that's from 2004, though. I don't really like Goodfellas, but it's a mob movie, and it's a classic mob movie that everybody loves, but I'm not a big fan of it. What about Meet the Parents?

Yeah. Meet the fuckers. You know what? I did like the one where he played the ex-boss. Oh, okay. With What's Her Face? And then he was like her assistant. And he was, what's the name of that?

I can't go. You told me I can't Google. Let's say it was a stupid movie. I don't know. What's her face? So what's her face? And they were in the place. Yeah, I know.

They were in the place. I like the cat movie. I like the one he plays a cat. His body. Yeah, that's not him though. See, that's just voice. But it was him at first and then his body goes through a cat. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. That movie, that movie did not go over real well. Oh, no, it did. You were like the only person in the theater. Yes. Yeah. Yes, it was. I mean, I can't even bring myself.

I haven't seen that on the movie channels. That's how bad that is. I've never seen it even on the movie. It's not. Would you have a movie? that you release and it doesn't even make the movie channels, uh, good,

have a nice day. I mean, you could probably buy it. It's still for sale somewhere for probably like 1499. You could download it. There's no, there's no way that that, because they don't want people seeing it.

If they drop the price to that, then people might say, oh, it's worth four bucks. But if it's 15 bucks, you're not paying for it. I'm sorry. What's the name of that stupid movie?

We're really going to put it on, please hold thank you for listening to chewing the fat your listenership is very important to us please hold momentarily while we search for the answer

we were talking about please hold thank you for listening to chewing the fat your listenership is very important to us we'll take you off hold as soon as we find the answer

to the question we were talking about. When I say we, I mean, he. Oh, good Lord. Okay, thanks for holding. What is the deal? So I can't find a movie. They don't even have it listed.

I don't think it's... De Niro's just take it. Erased it. That's how bad that movie is. Oh, I don't think it was De Niro. It was Kevin Spacey. Aha! You're right. You're right.

Mr. Fuzzy Pants. Yes, you're right. It was. wasn't De Niro. That's how bad that movie was. They couldn't even get De Niro. And you're not going to get the Spacey movies. They don't even let you watch Spacey anymore. Once you watch Spacey, you get a pedophile, you know. Yeah. Hello?

Knock on the door. Hello? Yeah, yeah, we're at pedophile police. I just clicked on Mr. Fuzzy Pants. Yeah, we know. We'd like to come in and check the place out. We're just here to invest. Just let us in to look around. No, no, no. I know we don't have a war. We just want to come in to look around a little bit because you actually clicked on that movie.

And you clicked on it for longer than two. minutes. So we don't need to investigate. That's right. It was good. It wasn't even did narrow. Jesus, this show. So we did get some kind of cool news that they found a massive wolf's head, you know, kind of like the mastodon wolf's head. I know it's different animals, but just go with me because you know it's old and big and woolly, the woolly mammoth, huge wolf's head. And it's been encased in permafrost for 40,000 years with its fur and teeth still intact. Right?

Discovered in Russia. People are scavenging for ivory. Really, it's what? They're out there looking for ivory in Russia? I thought times were good over there. So it was preserved on the banks of the river there in Siberia. I should know the name of that. river but it's i don't i forgot the name of the river that it was in case in the locals

uh that took it to the academy of science in the russian republic of saka i got the river name and uh yes terracataka teyak the head is about 16 inches long which uh live science dot com says is roughly half the size of a modern's wolf and tires by do we have the picture yeah it's in there the picture of the of the wolf Look at it. The picture on the next page is David Ortiz. It's not the wolf. This is not the wolfhead.

This is not a wolfhead, by the way. This is David Ortiz who got shot. The baseball player that got shot. Yeah. By cops. What? No. They hired.

Yeah. Seriously? I didn't read the story about David getting shot. I just thought he was at a bar and he got caught up in a gunfire. Rumor is in Dominican Republic is that they hired some bad cops and decide to shoot Ortiz. So he was the, he was the intended victim?

Wow. He's lucky, more than lucky never to be alive then. Yes, he is. And they beat the crap out of the guy who he shot Ortiz. Good. Good. But, but still not the wolf family. Oh yeah, it's in your email.

It's in your email since you did. Somehow, Ortiz's head is a 40,000-year-old head, but it's in your email now. You know, I'm surprised that the wolf had lasted that long because we got news also today that humans, and this isn't going to be a surprise to you. You already, if you listen to this show, you know the horrors that plastic is to the planet

and now to humans. Humans are gobbling up about five grams. I was trying not to cry, but the music is going to make me cry. Humans are eating about five grams of microplastics each week. What is that in like a normal size? I don't know what grams are. Five grams of microplastics.

I mean, it's huge amount that you're eating weekly. Yeah, but like, can you compare to something that I would like, no? Like the wolf story explained like how that 40,000 year old wolf was... 16 inches. 16 inches. you know, double the size. So this is like what? This is like about the size of a credit card.

That's how horrible, horrible it is. That's how much plastic we're ingesting. I mean, we're discovered that most of the 2,000 particles adjusted every week came from regular drinking water. So what it is is that it's just part of the earth. Wait, what? It's just part of the earth. I'm not like eating.

bugs like you know how doctor says like every night you eat bugs no you're not that's i try not to believe that i try to make that not true okay i don't want to know about i don't want to know about bugs because we always hear stories about people getting you know bugs crawling in their ears or crawling in their mouth and i was watching this the one story on hbio uh the sisters brothers yeah we talked about it yeah yeah where the guy then the spider crawls into his mouth and then he No, no, thank you. Oh, no, thank you. Yeah.

But according to this, there's no question. We actually went in very deep detail about that movie. I know now that I started talking about it again. I realized that. But if you're going back to eating the plastic and the bugs, that's what died it in. There's no question that will eat several bugs a year in our sleep. Oh, no. Million of.

There is a question because no. Millions, if you include bugs that are smaller than 20 microns. Well, those aren't bugs. dust mites those aren't bugs and who I mean my house is so clean

you clean dust mites oh my gosh I am now I'm gonna bleach down every freaking wall man I want to live in a I want to live in a bleach house man yes

because I want to have to move the bookshelves out of the bedroom and everything that dust has got to go oh you got boole then isn't there like bookworms Arianna grande

performed a concert She performed a concert. It's so nice of her that she had her concert in Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, nice. What is she supporting over there? Atlanta, Georgia was so nice of her. She had a big concert. She's so great, Ariana.

I love her. How many donuts did she lick? She, well, she wasn't stone. She didn't do any meth, so she wasn't out licking donuts that night. That night, yes. But she wanted to do a concert in. Atlanta, Georgia. You keep saying that like it's supposed to mean something.

Yeah, because she is donating the money to Planned Parenthood. Yay! Yay! Her generosity comes at a critical time. Does it? Does it? Does it?

Because I'm pretty sure you're still cash in the check from the United States government that we give you yearly I'm pretty sure that Planned Parenthood has not stopped taking any money from the United States government from my tax dollars every year.

Violation, violation, violation. You know what it is? I drove around all day. I was in and out of here. I came in, I did Pat Unleashed this morning. How was that? It was fun, of course. I love.

Do you talk about the drumstick cereal? No, we did not. No, we did not. But if you missed it, we did, Pat and I did a quick little spoon segment on chewing the fat yesterday. And we did the General Mills drumstick cereal, so you can get the review on that as well. I was also thinking that perhaps we should create, why are you looking like that? Because I'm off topic now. I'm already shot down three stories down the road.

I'll get back to what I was talking about. I was thinking outside of that that we should do a Pat. to Jeffie's spoon segment on chewing the fat maybe once a week. Okay. Just make that a segment for just, you know, just a separate segment on chewing the fat, a spoons day.

You know, like hump day, spoons. You know, like Wednesday, spoons. I think I've got the Geico commercial in my head. So anyway, you know what it is back? Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike, Mike. What is it? What is it?

Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike. Hey, Mike, Mike, Mike. So, so funny. So anyway, I come in and do Pat. And then I left and I had to go running around. I had some errands, some family errands to take care of.

Because you're by yourself. And then I was driving around two and fro. And then I come back to the studios. Now, the whole time, and normally I listen to Glad and a little bit of some other shows, but I don't get rush. And I actually listened to Rush Limbaugh today for quite a bit. A couple hours of Rush today.

And so I've got this politics just blasted in my skull. And that said, and so I'm starting to relate things to everything to politics. And that's one of the things that I like about doing chewing the fat is that we don't have to talk about that because everyone else talks about that. You can watch the news and why it matters. You can listen to Glenn Beck or watch him. You can watch Rush or listen to Rush. Whatever you can listen to Pat and the. I wasn't done.

11. You can listen to any. Mark's in there too. Prouder. Yep. You're going to keep to go ahead. It's up to you. Allie.

Yep. Lauren. Yep. Andrew. Don't forget about Andrew. I will not forget about Andrew. Phil. Oh my gosh.

Yes. Of course, Phil. Dase? Steve Dase, yes. Yeah. That's about it. Oh, no. Maccibi.

Macciby, yes. Wilcow. Andrew Wilcow, yes. Yeah. All great. Every one of those people you mention. Tremend.

Tremendous. Tremendous. Tremendous. And they, you know, what, what road do they cover? Chad Preacher. Politics.

Graham Allen? Yes. I mean, politics, politics. Politics. So I want. Jackie Daly. 40 acres and a fool.

The rabbi. Oh my gosh. Oh, Dr. Sudi Jafar. The Irish man. Yes. Done. Now that guy's all about politics.

I think. I think he takes the political. All those names give you the politics that you need. John Miller? John Miller? Yes. White House brief. Or whatever hell it is.

Go back. Through the looms or what is it? No. White House brief. Yeah. Oh, I get the brief to the loom. Ooh, nice. She's.

So anyway. I will kiss the ring enough. Anyway. Oh my God, yeah, yes we have. My point is, is that I tried not to do the politics on chewing the fat. All right. The object is to get a way. Eric Bowling.

I cannot forget Eric Bowling. Oh, don't forget about Eric. I cannot forget about him. He will actually email me and say, why did you talk about me? What the hell? You mentioned everybody's it for me. Dude, I'm sorry. I forgot there's so many.

So while I'm wrapping up, go to the blazedTV.com and make sure we've covered all the bases. Seriously. I'm not joking about that. Go ahead. I don't want to put people on hold, but go to the blazedtiv.com and go down the list so we make sure that we get everyone. You don't have to do that because you have a phone, a smartphone. You go to the Blaze TV app and go to shows and you go, Eric Bolin, the America. Tremendous, yes.

Economic War. I never seen him. What's the economic war? This is the guy, Glenn Haddam, Kevin Freeman. He talks about economics in the United States. He's good. He's just way too much information about economics. I'm like, ooh, I need like a week.

and I'll come back to finish. And then you never do. No, I do. I do go back. Yeah, I go back. So what's his name? Kevin Freeman. Kevin Freeman.

And it's... Economic War Room. Economic War Room. Why do I? I don't know that I've ever heard that. Yeah. And then you got Dean, which she's great. Here's the deal with Dean.

Dean Borlautini. And she married a thing in Italian. He's pretty cool, too. Chad, Phil, Matt Keebby, Levin, Crowder. Yes. The news done right? Oh, I love those two guys. I don't know that I've seen that one either

the news done right Yes there's the the news done right takes on liberals And our PC culture with hilarious results They're funny oh wait They're really funny We don't want to talk about them Oh we don't they're funny yet no Pat Gray

P.I. With Lauren No we don't talk about Pat Gray either PI with Lauren or pseudo intellectual Rant isn't that the millennial Yeah well not anymore She's pseudo intellectual Okay but that wasn't Yes she was the roving millennial right

Graham Allen, Ali, Andrew, Steve. Oh, how can you forget about the Capitol Hill brief? Not only we have the White House brief, we have the Capitol Hill. I mean, we are covered in underwear of this joint. I'll tell you that, this WaddyCV.com. Who's the Capitol Hill? Nate, Matton. Come on.

Come on, really, Nate? Right, that's what I said. The Ferguson file. How can we forget about the Ferguson file? All right, Ben Ferguson. Plus, let me tell you something about Ben Ferguson. I had the Fisher file. You did.

A hundred years ago. That ticks me off with him trying to sneak in his little Ferguson file on Blaze TV. But I love Ben anyway. I want to apologize because we forgot Rick and Bubba. That's a... Rick and Bubba show every morning. Five guys giving you what you need. You know, every show, every big weekday, big laugh, big interviews, big doses.

Come on. And of course, the White House brief, the Wonderful World of Stu. That doesn't count the Wonderful World of Stew. That show's been canceled forever. They're lucky. That's lucky. I don't know if you can get episodes. That's just the title on the top.

No, you can. I got episode. That's so bad that show. Jesus, don't watch that show. And by the way, every night on the Blase TV, if you have like a linear TV comes on every night. Are we still airing that God awful show? Do not tell me that there's no shows because every night I watch it goes Pat and Stee.

We're still airing that God. What? It goes Pat and Stu too? And then he goes into. I mean, that's that's not. too but we're still airing pat and stew as well yes and it goes into wonderful will soon at night don't don't i mean to tell you the blaze tv is it's where you want to go no it's where you want to go yeah that's what i meant yeah that's what i'm going to go and on a shame with phil robinson oh phil rassel has

two shows and woke out we ended we did say wilk so we mentioned we mentioned almost everybody yeah we did we just forgot about the briefs and we got about the couple of the underwear shows and a couple of shows that have been canceled that were still milking the the content Like what? You know, like Pat and Stu. Pat Stude is out on the app, though. But it's on linear TV. Pat and Stu is on linear TV, not on the app.

How come the Wonderful World of Stu is on the app? Because you still have episodes on linear TV. So does Pat and Stu. What are you talking about? That doesn't count. Wonderful World of Stu isn't on linear, isn't new? Why is that up? Then how is it that every night I see episodes go out?

What? You don't understand what I'm at? How come he's on the app and Pat and Stu isn't? Because Pastor no longer here. Is Pat and Stu here? Yes. As a team? Is the wonderful world of Stu still here?

Yes. I see him every day. Play some music. All right. I know that we're supposed to, you know, we kiss the ring for blazedtv.com. So are we still supposed to kiss the ring for the cruise too? Because I've got some, you know, we've got great cruise stories. I've got the cruise ship running into the docks. I mean, they... Actually, I think we're allowed to do that.

I think we're allowed to do that. We don't have to kiss the ring for the cruise. So once we tell them to go to Come Sell Away with me. Or Come Sail Away. Is it Come Sail Away.com? Yeah, come sellaway.com. Right, because you think about the sticks song. Yeah.

Come sail away, yeah. So now we just kiss that ring. So now let's... But my point is, is that we've got the... we've got the cruise ship crashing into the docks with the other ship. We've got the flotilla blocking the giant cruise ship from coming into the bay. That was a beautiful sight. And now we've got a search for a missing passenger that apparently fell off the ship.

Now, I have another take on this, but we'll go with the cruise ship firm has offered his thoughts and prayers to the family of the passenger who went overboard. after the search for the missing woman was called off. Now, if you're out in the ocean and, uh, yeah, this is captain of the cruise Norwegian vessel, uh, we got a, we got a missing lady in pink pajamas. Uh, if you see her out there in the water, uh, floating around in the ways, uh, pick her up. Uh, she, she, we lost her. We lost her on our cruise ship. So you see her floating around out there.

If you see a pink thing bobbing around out there, that's, that's our passenger. So they claim that she, they claim that she, they claim that. that the lady with their pink pajamas fell off, and then they couldn't find her. And they alerted all kinds of other boats, all the ships in the area, everything. I mean, the captain really did. Yeah, this is the cruise Norwegian vessel.

We got a possible, we got a possible, right. They were all blowing their horns. Yeah, we got a lady with a pink, a little pink bob out in the water, jumping up and down, I mean, everything. So, now she, and so they didn't find her. I think. And they were looking at the cameras

because all those cruise ships now have cameras because people have fallen off and finally we see that footage all the time. So I think that she did not jump over. I think it's a ruse. Now she was going to, they were going to Spain from France. I think she was trying to get away from something.

So now, you know, when the boat docked in Spain, I think she just zipped off the ship. I know it's not a boat. It's a ship. When the ship docked in Spain, she just, you know, walked off the ship in something other than her pink pajamas. so nobody knew who she was.

And now she's just a, you know, a new person. That's just, you know, just my thoughts. But when they call off, I mean, you're pretty much doomed. If she did fall off, you're doomed in the water. I think the story said that she didn't know how to swim. That's a difficult thing when you're on a cruise ship and there's a problem in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, this is a cruise captain, the Norwegian cruise line captain.

We got a little problem. I was told that one of our passengers fell off the ship, and she's in pink pajamas, and she's popping around out there. If you see her, pick her up, and you might want to realize she doesn't know to swim. So seriously, get her out of the water as quick as you can. I mean, that's a problem.

So if, that's why I think, and nobody found her, right? So, I mean, were the pink pajamas made of cement? Did she sink? That's why I think so we've been had. That's what I think we've been had. If we haven't been had and she actually did fall off and drown and pass away, I'm sorry. Bless your heart.

Go with God. Okay. We've talked a lot about things happening around the world with diseases and all kinds of things happening as something is going on around the world. Well, now we have a lady, a story that thought she had a brain tumor. Things started affecting her. She was having nightmares, hallucinations, couldn't sleep. She was forgetting words.

She tried to call dead relatives. She started acting completely out of character. She was acting more and more bizarre every day. And she went to the emergency room more than once trying to figure out, hey, something is wrong with me. They finally said, hey, let's take an MRI scan of your brain. And they said, oh, you've got this marble-sized lesion in the side of your brain. And so, I mean, that's, think of that. You know, when you get an MRI and they come back and they show it to you, you've got this,

you've got this lesion in your brain is like you are, you're thinking that you're the pink lady that fell off the ship, right? You're dead. I mean, you've got this thing in your brain. You've got cancer or something's in your brain. You're gone, right? I mean, it's over. Good luck.

That's what you're thinking. Don't look at me like you're not thinking that. That's what you're thinking. So, and I mentioned how much we try to make this show fun, right? Anyway, the, uh, so, so they do, they do things. They say they're going to do surgery, and they take her into the hospital, and they do, they get, they lay her out and, you know, because she's breathing out and take a shot, you know, just count backwards, count from a hundred backwards, a hundred, they got, coop. And she passes out, and they're going to do surgery.

And so, you know, they open up the brain, they drill in, and they open it up, and the, they say, they pull. It says in the story, the doctor started jumping up and down for joy. Yay! Yay! Because it wasn't a tumor. No, it wasn't a tumor. It was just a little baby tapeworm

living in her brain. Oh, you guys, you guys joke around so much. Yeah, you're right. Thank you. How's your head feeling? Ouch. Thought you had a tumor.

but it was only a tapeworm. Ouch. Still ouch though, yeah, no matter what. Still ouch, a bigger ouch if it was actually a tapeworm. We were cheering and clapping. We were so happy that it was a tapeworm. We were like, yes. Okay.

I guess it's one of the rare situations where you see a parasite. Wow, this is great. We were so happy to see that it wasn't a tumor. Okay, great. So I guess this occurs when the pork tapeworm infects the central nervous system. Now, according to who? Who? Yeah, according to them.

Oh, but who? Yeah, that's who. That's who I'm factually talking about. The World Health Organization, duh. The condition... That is something to be in? I'm sorry. World Organization, duh.

Yes, the World Health Organization, duh. That's what the hood. So it's food? Hood. The condition is spread when an individual eats undercooked pork. Oh, how many times you done that? Or other, let me, I can't seriously count the times. Undercooked pork or other infected foods.

Well, I mean. Anything. Let me have that. It was infected all that. Well, I won't you. Drink water containing tapeworm eggs. I mean, we're concerned about plastic, but we're still, we're not concerned about drinking water that has tapeworm eggs.

or because of poor hygiene. So we don't know. Was this lady not bathing? Poor hygiene? Really? It's called neurosisitisisorosciscusis. Nailed it. Thank you.

Neurosystidicorosis. We need the computer name for this, please. Never mind. I got it. I remember saying it out loud earlier. Neurosista tisor. No, we need it. Neurosisis

DeSisercosis Neurosisthicis Sercosis Neurosiscercosis Neurosiscercosis Neurosisercosis Neurosis That's what I said, perfect. Thank you.

Wow. I thought I didn't get it, but I did. So in my point, we have that. And then we have the little boy who is in the stomach he's got a problem he's got some kind of stomach issues going on and they find out that it's infested with parasites his small bowel is infested with parasites away from eyes that bleed don't lick vomit off the street the stomach could begin to swell

I know you don't want to die No, no. Slowly back away from that infected guy. Wow. How many times did your small bowel have been dilated? Blocked by Don't eat that raw meat and sea. Bundles of live worms.

Mm-hmm. Keep away from those sweaty sheets. Keep away from this charge that secrete surgeons. If you want to call me your fear. Manually removed. The tangle. Stay an Ebola free. Of roundworms.

Stay an Ebola free. By milking an opening made in the intestine. Don't touch others poop and pee and will be Ebola free. Just wash your hands. Yes, hygiene. Very important, man. Hygiene and make sure the house is dusted. Let's go to the break room.

I seriously need a drink of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today, man. Desperately. Oh my gosh. That's so good. I don't know if I ever explained to you before in the past, but I am a fan of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. Seriously a fan. By the way,

tomorrow we'll be drinking the new Coke from Stranger Things. I just got a notification that I got delivered to my house. Nice. Tomorrow we'll be drinking the new Coke

and Stranger Things 1985 limited edition collectors. Yeah, that's great. All right, good. We'll have a taste test of the new Coke because I wasn't that big of a fan. I don't know if you know

this. I was actually alive in 1985. It's a big surprise. What? I know. I know a lot of, I know it comes as a surprise, but I was.

I'll be you back then? I don't even remember. No, seriously, 1985. I don't even remember. In 1985, I just don't remember. I was living in Florida then.

I don't know if I ever told you I lived in Florida. What? No. Did you already have a job? So anyway, we're in the break room. I mean, Win Dixie.

Sorry. Sorry. I was going to move on. I know. I know. I know. Win Dixie. Sorry.

I mean, we were the beef people. I know. America's supermarket. They made a move about you guys. Family. I mean, we were family owned and operated then, right? You still are.

No, they sold out though. Now, no, don't get me, don't. Don't get me started on the Winxie story. I want to just say, thankfully, my main man, the killer is out of the hospital. He had, he was in the hospital for, had a stroke a few months ago. Now he's back to, he's leaving the rehab center. Why are you looking at me like you don't know who the killer is? I don't know who it is.

I swear to God if you don't know who the killer is. We are not a fight. Like a killer, like kill people? Because I don't know why we're happy about a killer being out of the hospital. If it's a killer, he needs to go back to the chip. Stop talking. I mean, stop. Turn your mic off.

Stop talking. I'm talking about Jerry Lee Lewis. Who? The killer, Jerry Lee Lewis, is out of the hospital. hospital and he had a stroke. I just want you to know that he's recovering and thankfully he's recovering. Jerry Lewis, the killer.

My favorite line from Jerry Lee. They were doing a biography on him and they were talking about when he was first getting started and how he came to Nashville. And he was one of the first ones. That was during the time when Sun Records and everybody was playing guitar and Elvis and Johnny Cash and they were all playing guitars and he

played the piano. And he's sitting there talking in this biography and he's got his grand piano. He's got his grand piano. diamond ring on badass jerry lee and uh he's talking and they said how did you feel when you uh came into nashville and you were getting you know you were getting rejected at all these places and he was like i hitchhiked in i hitchhike out think about it that's why you like the killer jerry lee lewis his own man so if you want to make that an extra thousand bucks for a week

and it's probably going to happen like at the end of july since the The contest, who they're going to pick runs until the end of July. A company is going to pay you $1,000 to ditch your smartphone for a flip phone for one week. Think you could do it? Absolutely. I know I know I could. Now, the company is going to provide the participant with what they're calling a survival kit. You get a physical map.

Obviously, instead of Google Maps, you get. get a physical phone book. I don't even know if they have them anymore. I mean, I guess they'd show up at my house ever so often. They're really thin now. They used to be really big. We've talked about that before. And they're giving you a pen and a notebook and some CDs.

And they're saying they're going to give you some 90s era music. Okay. You got to give up the smartphone. It's frontier. And they're asking you to document the whole experience. It's going to be That's a job though How can you document this period

When you don't have a smartphone You have You have You're they're giving you a Notebook and a pen That's called Write it down I know I know

I know they're giving me that But how can I annotate it That I'm using a flip phone Right I know And they don't even And they I don't know how they're going to verify That you're not using

Your smartphone Outside of your Outside of your Outside of you know In the backyard You know, I'm not using the flip phone. Then you're back. They're going to push simply safe cameras around the house.

They probably will. But that's an awful lot for only a thousand bucks, right? That's a lot of work. That's a thousand bucks for one week just to walk around with a smartphone and then document it all. Okay, whatever. What are you documenting, though? It's the 30th anniversary of the flip phone. Okay.

And, I mean, we've all had flip phones before. I had the razor. Which one did you have? I guess it was. I don't remember. I've had more than one flip phone. What? Yeah, when I was first born, my parents got me a flip phone.

Anyway, there's more than 30,000 applicants. So that's, look, and if you go to the website, you've got to write a 200-word. I'm out. Why you're the right candidate. I'm out. Now, the good thing is with this, you have until July 1st. I'm out.

No, I'm out. Do you have until July 1st, 2019? No background check. no drug test I'm sorry no background check no drug test that has nothing to do with a phone

still got a shot I can still get a flip phone from AT&T without getting a background check or drug test like I don't understand but you wouldn't be documenting it

for Frontier you know what yes I should I will document it for Patreon mobile and you wouldn't be making a thousand bucks a week you know a Patreon mobile saves me a thousand dollars a year

that's PatriotMobil dot com promo code blaze. You know, I'll come there speaking of Patriot mobile. Today was her big day. Did you hear?

Big day. They made it to the big show. What do you talk about? Glenn is doing live reads for... Oh, yeah. That's he started doing that, though. Today was a big day for them. They've been on Glenn before?

No. Yes, they have. It's stew. Today was a... If you go to Patreonmole.com slash glend, you could get a special offer of a four.

first free months for free. And then Stu does it and he goes patreon mode.com slash blaze for also the first month being free. He's done other PatriotMobil's boss before. I've got my program. I've heard him do it. I don't know what you're talking about. But I'm just saying Patriot Mobile. He's done it before. So you can pretend like it was the first time all you want for your little Patriot Mobile kiss in the ring for them all of a sudden. Why are you? We're kissing rings too many today. Today is a serious. Yes. Today. That's a time. title of the show, Kissing Rings. That's all we're doing.

As long as we're kissing rings, I'd like to get a free Wendy's. I need a Frosty and a burger and some fries. Well, Frosts are 50 cents for the whole summer. Because this Wendy's employee in Milton, Florida. I know it's a surprise coming from Florida. They're all wound up because they videotaped... They videotaped him taking a bath in the sink. Come on.

That's a little funny. It's a little funny. He wears Jim shorts, so he wasn't completely naked. He gets in up to his neck. He washes like he's in a regular bath. His three co-workers laugh, and they encourage him to do his armpits and his toes, which he does, and they laugh. I mean, the place gets clean.

It's not like the Wendy's sink doesn't get cleaned every night, right? All right. I mean, their stupid point was posting it. They shouldn't ever post. That should have been just between them. And you had a good idea. And that's the stuff that you save, right? You save it.

And then three or four years from now, when you don't work at Wendy's anymore. Or when you own the Wendy's, you post it and say, look what we did. Ha, ha. Then it's viral again. It's viral again. And you're good to go. And, you know, the guy that is washing himself is still maybe at Wendy's and he gets in trouble. But you don't.

So did you see the Tom Hanks, Tim Allen video interview? Now, they're out Hawking Toy Story 4. That's all that, you know, why, by the way, why how come Tom Hanks and Tim Allen weren't on this program? After this interview, they should. And by there, I mean just Tim Allen. Any of them. I don't want to see Dush Hanks. Whoa.

Whoa. No, this whole interview pissed me off. It's kind of frustrating. They're being talking. Who is the guy that they're talking to? Do we know? I don't know. Some guy.

They're doing around, you know, and so they come in. I don't even know if it looks as though. So what they normally do on stuff like that is they set up like a hotel. And either the stars go from room to room to the different companies that are there to interview them or the stars stay in one room and the reporters come into the room. And they sit up and they come in and they say, hey, how are you doing? And you get five minutes and you talk to them about the movie. You get five minutes.

And then you got to get out. This was a blogzilla, aka the almighty Zilla Valentine. How in God's name is Chewing the Fat, not part of this? By the way, he's verified, and I think he only has like 10,000 followers. How in God's name is this chewing the fat, not part of this. But anyway, so that's what, you know, they're just hawking Toy Story 4 is all it is. And you see this all the time. Yeah.

We get clips from people all the time and they get in trouble because reporters try to get funny or reporters try to, everybody tries to make their difference, right? They want to make that special interview instead of just the, be nice, tell me about the movie. How is the movie? What was it like working as the toy again? For four movies straight. Did you guys ever see each other during the filming? Or did you just record it in a booth all by yourselves?

Is this the first time you two have even met and you've done all these movies together? I mean, it's just, that's what happens, right? So you want to try to set yourself apart. And here's this interview. And I search your name on you, too. The first thing that comes up is Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks. Okay. All right there.

So this is Blogzilla, right? This is the guy. So he's a black man. So he's trying to at least appease his audience, right? His main audience is going to be African American. And that's who listens to him. I'm guessing. I don't know that.

You're right. But so he's got to, that's his main audience. So he's got to come in with an angle. So do some research and try to tie it into his audience. We would have done. Yes. Yes. Every show is going to do that.

41 million views, huge posts. So I want to play a little of a game. If you have a black card, because I feel like you guys both have black cards. Let's go back to the beginning. I want to know what was 41 million views? When I search your name on YouTube, the first thing that comes up is Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks.

Oh, okay. All right. Stop. That's the Saturday Night Live bit. Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks. Yeah, that probably does have 41. And it was great. And it was funny.

I don't know if Logzilla knows this or not, but it was just it was a TV show. bit. What? Yeah. Yeah, it was a bit. It wasn't trying to make, it was just being funny.

But go ahead. 41 million views, huge posts. So I want to play a loaded game. This is if you have a black card. Because I feel like you guys both have black cards. You're playing space. Why do you feel,

don't shake your head to that I'm stopping these. But why is that? No, no, I'm shaking a history question. Why do you feel that they have black cards? Why? Yeah, why is that? Because of one Saturday Night Live bit.

That was by Tom Hanks. Not Tim Allen. Oh, come on. And this was how long ago? Years. A long time ago. And I believe this was when Tom Hanks became America's father. And he said done with America.

There you go. Okay. Your partner says he got four in the possible. The guys you've been playing with, they've been talking crap the whole game. What do you do? Do you bid nine or do you bid 10, go whales and go all out for it? 10. Go all out.

Okay, stop. 10. Go all out. All right. So he knows the game. Spade. That's the game we're talking about. He knows the game.

He knows the game Spade. All right. I'm talking to you and I'm looking right to the camera. You know the game Spade? You ever played that? You ever played that? You ever played Spade? There was another game that used to be played all the time when I was,

well, not crabs. X? Gosh, darn it. What was it called? I don't know what? It was called Wonk or something that we used to play 100 years ago. But it's not Uno or Uker or any of those games. I mean, I was raised on those silly card games.

But I never played Spades or Spade or whatever it's called. But Tom obviously did. So he's Mr. Cool guy. You go all in. And then, you know, of course, then we get to Tim Allen. In Vegas, 30 years, I don't gamble. There's not necessarily money involved in Spades. Okay, so Tom throws it tries, there's not necessarily money involved in Spades.

Like, it doesn't gamble. So Tom is going to continue it on. He doesn't get the hint that I don't want to talk about this stupid car. I don't know about it. I don't know about it. That's why I went to the gambling. I don't gamble. I don't know about it.

There's not necessarily money involved in the game. We played all the time. There's not necessarily money involved in space. I don't know. I throw deep, baby. I go deep. I don't know what you guys are talking about. I don't know.

Have any idea what you guys just said. So why right now? I don't have any idea what you said. Okay, so what? He doesn't know. He doesn't, he never played the game. He doesn't, he never played the game. He doesn't gamble.

He never played the game. Go ahead. I'm going to say I do just because I want to move. Now when I was in open. So that's funny, right? I'm going to say I do because I just want to move on. I don't want to talk about, I don't know how to play the game. It doesn't mean anything to me.

California, they all play whist. It's like you see the, and that was a, p. Pam. Should I get a cup of coffee or something? Boom. His kids were playing Wift, man. Okay. So Tom, again, continues to be cool,

pretending that he has his black card and talks about another game when he was living in Oakland. Tim, should I get a cup of coffee, let you guys talk about the card game? Because I don't know these card games, and I thought we were here to talk about the movie. Right? Okay, so that's where Tim's at.

Now, I get that, you know, you're going to talk about the card game. Fine. But at some point you're supposed to talk about the movie too. So should I get a cup of coffee? Will you guys talk about the card game? And then, you know, then we move on. And that should have been the end of it.

But of course, it's not, is it? No, it's not because Tim Allen is so visibly bothered by the black culture while Tom Hanks continues to be the goat. That is ridiculous that he was bothered by the black culture. He just didn't know the game. And which is why he said he didn't gamble. I don't know the game. And then Tom Haines continued it on because he's,

He wanted to play with this, continue with this black card and be cool that he continued on. And Tim was like, I don't know the game. You want me to go get a cup of coffee? You guys could talk about it. Go ahead. Also, they're saying that because Tim Allen did not know the spades, he's a racist. Oh, my God. That is unbelievable.

So I wonder why. I wonder why. So Tim Allen, it isn't. It isn't, hey, look at Tom Hanks trying to pretend that he's part of the black card people. Why privilege? He's Mr. Movie Star worth probably $600,000, maybe even a billionaire. And he's trying to be cool because he played a card game in Oakland 40 years ago when he was broke. So he's trying to pretend he's got a black card.

Look at Tom making a fool of himself trying to be black. No, it's not that. It's we're going to attack Tim Allen because he didn't know a card game. And by the way, how is that card game 100% black? Why is that a black card game? Is there white card games? I thought card games were just card games that people play or don't play. I wonder why.

I wonder how that gets turned around on Tim Allen. I wonder why. Let's think about that for just a second. Tim Allen, what's different between Tom Hanks and Tim Allen? What is different between Tom Hanks and Tim Allen? What could it be? What could it be? Could it be that Tom Hanks, I'm pretty sure, doesn't like our president, Donald Trump?

And Tim Allen, I think, does like our president, Donald Trump. So we're trying to find a way. I'm just saying that that's a difference. And while I'm getting the damn music for political, why don't I just say, did you happen to see that NBC announced who their moderators are going to be for their stupid democratic debates? My main man,

Lester Hold. And then, of course, Rachel Maddow and Savannah about through Chuck Todd and Barterman. So I told you, I was just busy politics all day. I'm sorry. So not only we were kissing rings, we just violating rules,

left and right. Violating rules. We are violating rules. rules. And since this show believes that we could violate rules, I'm going to turn you to cross the pond. Once again, Prince Harry and Megan Markle. Oh, we have to, yes, thank you.

We got to talk. This is amazing. Just, just amazing. We've said, you know on this show that we're pretend really fans of the Royal Family, but we really don't like the royal family, but we like to talk about them because it's fun. And we also know that you also know

that the queen is so angry that she gave Harry the okay to marry Megan. She is so pissed. And she has been for quite some time now. And Megan just continues to twist the knife into the queen. I mean, she is like, and I said it last time, I mean this too. She is the AOC of the Windsor Castle. I'm sorry?

She is AOC of the Windsor Castle. You know how AOC is taken over? You know, and don't play the political music. I got to stop now before we play the political music. Go ahead. Tell us what happened. So you know the big Instagram, kissing rings and violent rules.

You know how their Instagram, the Duchess and Duke's Instagram, highlights every month some kind of cost. Right. And we talked about that before when they first. got their Instagram, how they made their specific Instagram, which they stole, by the way, with the Sussington.

They did. He just took it from that person and Instagram said, yeah, it's yours. Don't worry about the working class guy that had it forever. Just take it. Don't worry about that. I wonder what June cost will be. June cost June.

What happens in June? What happens in June? Hurricane season started. Hurricane season, absolutely. So we got to care about people being prepared and preparedness for the hurricane season. the devastation that could come from those storms? Pride.

What else is it? Oh! Pride. No, really? That's a surprise. June is Pride. So the Dutch and Duchess, right? No.

Is Windsor Castle, have they started flying the rainbow flag for the queen? Oof. Have they started flying then? Is that happening? No. Because heaven forbid our president says, oh, we're going to start playing music again. Never mind. So the Duke and the Duchess posted a.

Coast saying continue with our tradition fly the flag goes up to rotate the accounts we follow based on causes and social issues that matter to us. For the month of June, we proudly shine a light on pride. This month we pay tribute to the accounts supporting LGBTQ community, the young and old, their family and friends, accounts that reflect on the past and are hopeful for a diversively inclusive future. We stand with you and support you because it is very simple, Jeffrey. Love is love. Love is love. And of course, does it say at the end there, we speak for the queen too. Well, here's a problem.

This post violates royal family protocol. This post violates royal family protocol. At least we're not the only one violating rules today. But I don't want to be on their boat because the protocol by the royal family states members cannot endorse political opinions or groups of any kind. Right. I mean, that's what we ship them off around the world to promote little kids and sicknesses and health and we're doing all kinds of goodwill.

Humanitarian issues. Yes, humanitarian, not goodwill. Because they are accountable to no voting block whatsoever. So when they posted that, we have some different posts from around people saying, For example, one Instagram user says, what happened to the royal family doesn't endorse political belief? There's a little reminder.

Hey, hey, hey, Harry, Megan, what up? Another one says Diana supported HIV patients, not LGBTQ. Stop using her for promoting your agenda. Thank you. And the last one, which I feel like this is like the best one, you have no respect for the monarchy. It's protocol and traditions. That actually was from the queen.

The queen was in the... I want to post something on my Instagram account. Here, type this into my Instagram account. Oh, type this to my account. You have no respect for the monarchy. Do you want to say anything else? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Comma, it's protocol and traditions.

So let me read this back to you, Queen. Make sure I have this right. You wanted us to type. I want this on Harry's and Megan's account. Because it's not your account. No, no, no. I just go anonymous one through three, four. And there's a clear violation of the Royal Family's stated protocol.

So please write, you have no respect for the monarchy, comma. It's protocol and traditions. I mean, there's no doubt. Dude, they are so dead right now. They are so dead. And we all know that Megan would like to, you know, bring the baby as gender fluid because her exact words are she planned to raise the kid with fluid approach to gender

and they won't be imposing any stereotypes. They. They. Who is they, Jeffrey? I wonder who they. Who is they is? Yeah. They is the people who is going to kick your ass out of the castle

which we already have. They are the people that are going to kick you out to the little shack still on the property. They are the people that are going to decide, oh, you know what? That's not even far enough. We're going to move you to another building over there. They are the people that are going to accidentally then say, oh, yeah, by the way, to the press, they're living over there. Go bother them over there.

Don't bother us here anymore. I guess doomed. Man, the queen has got nothing to do with her. By the way, I believe if the queen dies, it will be making. fall. Well, she's starting to push the, she's pushing. She's pushing. She's getting the queen a little upset on the day to day. Yes. The queen doesn't need to be putting up with this. No. No. That's very frustrating. And I'm getting aggravated. Now I'm seeking up for the queen. Yes. We need to stop. Yes. Absolutely. If you're going to do all this, do it after she's gone. We all know the

king. Thank you. Might. Might. But we all know the queen said you better not do anything. Oh, man. You don't you dare even look at her. She is so pissed. right now that she gave Harry the go ahead to marry this half breed from the United States. Oh man. I just if she could do that a couple times

and just spin around in a circle and make her disappear, she would. Oh,