Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 130 | Jeffy is a Fat LIAR!

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

Kris Cruz takes the podcast and explains why is Jeffy a FAT LIAR. Find out about what's happening with your food and who's delivering it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's show goes out to all the parents that named their kids weird names like, I don't know, let me just pick a name out of my head. Marijuana Pepsi Van Dyke. Marijuana Pepsi Van Dyke is a 46 year old female out of Michigan, I believe, if this story is correct. And it's not because she's not from Michigan. She's from Wisconsin. Anyways, what her name, Marijuana Pepsi Van Dyke, is. a name that she's been embracing her entire life.

Even though she's gotten backlash, she's proven to overcome her name differences because now you may call her Dr. Marijuana Pepsi Van Dyke. Yep, you heard me right. That is Dr. Marijuana Pepsi Van Dyke. The mother of one is not officially a doctor. after earning her PhD in higher education leadership in Wisconsin. Congratulations, Doctor. You know what, whatever your name is, Dr. Marijuana, Dr. Pepsi, Dr. Van Dyke.

So now, out of all those names, if you're this female and you have not changed your name, what do you go by? Do you go by Dr. Marijuana or do you go by Dr. Van Dyke? I will go by Dr. Marijuana and just cash in. That is just me. But hey, congratulations. She is fascinating. Dr. Van Dyck who left in a stable home when she was 15, graduated high school and went on to earn her college and master's degree.

Now she has a doctorate. She will be going by Dr. Marijuana Pepsi. I like that. I really like that. Well, congratulations. And if you have a weird name, don't use that as an excuse because obviously here she was giving a very horrible name, Marijuana, Pepsi, Van Dyke. And even Ron, the one that's not supposed to talk during the Steve Day Show. Say, why did she just name her Mary Jane?

I like that. You know, there's a first name in the middle name. You're right. What's not name her? Mary Jane. But hey, maybe that was a push that she needed to become a doctor, Dr. Marijuana. I just love it. That is very cool.

I named my son Milo after Milo notice. So there's nothing there important. I wonder why did the parent named her marijuana Pepsi Van Dyck? So was she having a puff of marijuana and drinking a Pepsi when the girl was conceived? Like, this is very interesting. I have so many questions.

I am going to try to reach out to Dr. Van Dyke. I mean, Dr. Marijuana Pepsi. Because I am just curious. because I really would like to know one, why didn't she change your name? Oh, but was my parents' name? They gave it to me.

Shut up. Two, did the name really make her, I don't know, push through the clutter of the bullying and the name calling and the pushback and to be a doctor

to like prove them around. Look, I'm Dr. Marijuana Pepsi now. But it's very interesting. She says despite her name, she has never smoked to marijuana. Right. No, I believe her. I believe her. And she does not drink Pepsi. Well, there she goes. Pepsi will not be sponsoring your doctor office now. It's kind of cool, though. She has a doctor. Let's say Dr. Marijuana Pepsi opens her own practice. Will be she serving

Pepsi or Coke at the machines? I don't know. That was a cheap shot. It's just, just, I know. I'm trying. And I got big news. Jeffrey is a liar. I have. The biggest news that Jeffrey is a liar. I'm going to do a couple more stories, a couple more stories, and tell you why Jeffie is a liar. And I have so many stories for FAPA Friday. So we're supposed to do FAPA Friday tomorrow. And he texts me saying, you know what? No, I'm not going to do that because we have an emergency.

We have an emergency in the Philippines. I'm not kidding. Sound the alarms because we have. an emergency at the Philippines Ron did you know what happened in the Philippines you did not well get ready buddy because the Philippines is overflowing with a surplus of mangoes people do not know what to do with the mangoes so Sunday alarms we got mangoes I could tell you could do some mango smoothies you use some mango sherbur oh oh that's so good mango cake oh so good well it is official

The Philippines is overflowing with excess of mangoes after unusual weather conditions caused a surplus of fruit. So is this climate change or is this global warming? Which one is it? Which one is it? It's very interesting because the wind patterns that occur every two to seven years called El Niño caused the excessive crop after it heated up in the Pacific Ocean sent a warm, dry weather to the Philippines. Philippines causing the country's agriculture secretary to say that we have a massive increase in flowering and fruiting this season. Isn't that a good thing?

Hey, Philippines, here's the thing. I don't know, maybe sell those mangoes and get your country better? I don't know. Philippines, you kind of like, I remember, I'm going to pull a Jeffrey. I remember one of, when I was in the military, one of the, I don't know, where you, airmen. Yeah, we call them official airmen. well his name was last name was robles and for you know that was used to be my old last name robles

and they go airman robles and i look up and this other guy look up like you two are brothers i'm like no i'm from puerto rico and he's like i'm from the philippines come to find out i have some robles family in the philippines i did not know that thanks to airman roblas he told me that um there's some robles is on there is very interesting um the government here in the philippines not here the United States in the Philippines is hosting a mango cooking classes to get rid of the, oh, come on, really. See, this is why you don't need government, because if the government is hosting a mango cooking class and a mango festival right now in June, right now in June, to get rid of the extra food,

how about you just sell that damn mangoes? I bet you the export will grow and I don't become the mango country. or island is Ron is Philippines an island or a country it's a country all right there we go these are country I just say that they have a surplus of about two million kilos Ron what is that in American it's a lot so two million kilos is a lot and um this is very interesting the problem is that the axis um it's negatively affecting the farmers how is that affecting the farmers how is that affecting the Do they not know how to throw a farmers market? Seriously, there's one in Roanoke by where I live.

Every Saturday at 8 a.m. And I keep forgetting because I keep oversleeping. And it's fascinating to see all those fruits. Oh, it's so good. Philippines, just throw a farmer's market. I'm telling you, the country will know. It's an island. Oh, thank you, Ron.

That's why you're not supposed to speak during the Seastasia. Because you don't know to give me the right information. And if you're in Texas, and I don't think this is only for Texas, but anyways, if you are a Kalashi fan, if you are, Ron, are you a Kalashy fan? No. No. Well, then this is not for you. If you are a foodie and love Kalashis, which somehow Texas has become the mother of the Kalashis, because they're like at every corner. And they got the simplest names.

They sell Kalashis at these donut shops, and the donut shops are called donuts. They're so, and the and they're owned by like Koreans. It's fascinating. The first time went to the donut shop here in Texas. I was so surprised. This Korean couple owned them. Oh, that's so cute. I went to another one, Korean couple.

Oh, that is so cute. Went to another one, Korean couple. I was like, oh, I see a pattern here of them. But anyways, if you love Kalashiri, the Kalashiri factory is giving away free Kalashis for a year. Well, what? Yes. It starts now. This is the second annual creates a new Kalashi contest. Customers would share their idea for a new Kalachi that could end up in the Kalashi Olympics.

Oh my gosh. Where's Jeffrey? This should be me and Jeffie. There should be a Kalashie chewing the fat here. But he's not here. Oh, he's such a liar. He said who's going to be here today to record something for us today and tomorrow. But he's not here. But anyways, we're going to try when he comes back. back on Monday, probably. We're going to try this because I want to be part of the Kalashi Olympics on July 9. This is fascinating. So anyone 18 and older can enter the contest by naming their Kalachi and their ingredients in the Kalashi Factory's website. So all you have to do is submit your recipe, submit the name, and wait.

The Kalashi Olympic will choose five finalists. No, I'll take that back. The Kalashy Factory will choose five. finalists that will attend the Kalashi Olympics where the grand prize winner will be selected last year the contest was hailed from Katie Texas just around the quarter and her winning was mac and cheese please oh that is so big I can kill it oh and it will be in the menu again this August along with a new winner for Kalashji so if you are a foodie and you want to go and make it

into like the bragging status you go to Kalashie factory's website, submit your recipe, submit your name, and I'm telling you, you will get it because I don't see a lot of people submitting for this, except for like, if me and Jeffey submit one, you already lost. So might as well not enter this contest, okay? Okay, I'm not going to spend that much time on these stories because, one, I could get in trouble, even more trouble by doing a podcast that I'm not authorized to co-host. So I'm going to give you two quick headlines and we're just going to do the headlines you come with the story and once I tell you the two headlines when I say you come with the stories you will lie you

would die laughing first out of Nebraska Lincoln Nebraska here's the headline Nebraska men arrested masturbating while walking towards Arbys let it sink in you got it now second headline Uber eats driver Caught masturbating Just after delivery You got that You got it

And you know what I've noticed that A lot of our Headlines like this Have to do with food I don't want someone like that Handling my food That's just weird

And finally I have one more Let me see how many headlines Do I have I have two headlines And one of them is I like entertainment. I like to do entertainment news. I like to do B&D pop culture area.

And there's another one. Yeah, there's another headline that I really like that headline too. But anyways, have you ever had a crush on somebody? I have. I had a crush on when I started working here and a co-worker, she no longer works here. So then I had a second crush, someone that worked in this company and that I married her.

So, hey. Maybe this is what you need for it to push if you have a crotch of someone that you're working with. You guys remember a couple of months ago, we talked about Apple TV Plus and their new subscription, whether they have TV shows, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, we talked about how Jennifer Aniston and Steve Corral and the other cute girl, oh my God, what's your name? Reese Witherspoon will have a TV show called, the morning news, I believe, or the news, oh my gosh, what it was going to be, it's going to be called

the morning show. Okay, here we go. The morning show. It was going to be Steve Corral, Jennifer Anderson, and Reese Witherspoon. Now, I believe me and Jeffrey thought that they were going to do a morning show like The View. To my understanding after reading this article, they're doing like a sitcom about a morning show get it so it's like a comedy you know it's like a sitcom of something like the view called the morning show well Jennifer Anderson was at the talk you know with the other ladies that like to talk you know they're

almost as close as to the view because they still have the black girl and they still have you know the crazy talking girl and Sharon Sharon Osborne is there I love Sharon Osbourne she's one of my closest, I think one of the closest crush I had that I really would like leave my wife for Sharon Asbourne. Not because of her money. It's because of her red hair. Anyways, but speaking of her crushes, Jennifer Anderson admits to the ladies at the talk that she had a crush on Steve Corral.

And she calls him a silver fox. and the picture that they used at the, when Jennifer Anderson was at the talk, and he used to Steele Crowell, I looked at the picture, I was like, now I have a crush in Steve Correll. Now, Steve Corral, you don't know him, if you do know him, he's from the office,

and he's also from other movies like, yeah, that movie that he did at where he was, you know, he was a guy from the Bible, and he was a representative and God call him to Bill and R. The Noah's Ark movie is part of the series of the Bruce Almighty. So he was Evan Almighty.

Boom. There it is. Great movie. Funny movie. He's a very, very funny guy. And I was looking at him and I was like, yes,

I could see why would you have a crush on him? Why would you put a picture of him? Like, what? Right. So I'm going to play some music because Rodney sees the mic. So I'm going to play some music. And then we're going to finish up with two stories that I really want to know

your opinion about. Okay, the last two headlines I have. One of them is about guns and the other one is about the FDA. Now, I have guns, I have a couple of handguns. I got about four handguns, a couple of rifles and a couple of shotguns. And I'm in the process of buying another handgun because, I don't know, it's America, damn it. and we have a manufacturer

is asking for you to name their next weapon and right now we have a tie between Yeat Canon or SOTG So would you buy a Yit Canon and I know probably if Mordecai

was in this room he'll be like correcting me because this is kind of like I think is that that guy um run who says yee kanya thank you ron so we have they have 7800 us uh entries for these high point a weapon and you have yee cannon we like shooting problem solver or student of the gun So out of all those, if you're, because I know you guys are a gun owner, you show me your guns on the internet, you send me pictures, and I see New York Cruz, you should buy this one when I posted a couple of my pictures. Because I was in Cabela, I was trying to buy a gun a couple weeks ago. Would you buy a gun with a name Yeet, knowing that it comes from, you know,

that guy that Ron just mentioned what was his name, Ron? Kanye, yes. Yes, thank you. So we got Yeet Cannon. We like shooting, problem solver. or student of the gun. Now they have the acronyms, like the Yee Cannon will be the Y-C-9, we like shooting will be W-L-S-9,

the problem-solver will be PS-9, and the student of the gun will be S-O-T-G. Oh, they don't have a nine on that one? Hmm, okay. Let me know. Would you buy a gun that says Y, you know, knowing that that comes from, Ron, what's that guy's name again? Yeah, Kanye, thank you.

So, you know, and according to dictionary.com, yeat, is an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all around energy, often as issued when doing a dance move or throwing something. Yes, yeat is an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, or all around energy often as issued when doing a dance move or throwing something. Well, if you're interested, just got to go to the Mansfield-based gun manufactured. And you can just follow them on Instagram, the high point firearms. I looked them up. They got some nice guns.

I will buy the Yeat if, if, it's at a decent price. Only because it has, if it becomes the Yeat, like the, if it becomes the Yeat Canyon or the YC9, if it has that name, I will buy it. And this will probably be a little bit of Glenn Beck kind of robbing on me. Because it'll be like at that time and that time period of culture, we thought Yeat was cool enough to be named after a gun. It was kind of cool. And maybe I don't know.

In a couple years when Kanye's president, I sell it to Glenn and be like, here's eat. Dude, there's my... And last one, we're going to close out this show. Before we close out the show, I'm going to tell why Jeff is a liar. Jeff is a liar because he came on yesterday, interrupted me recording a podcast that I'm not even supposed to be doing. I'm not even authorized to record a podcast and just obviously just give it up and put it on

his channel without his permission, all my bosses permission. And he said, I'm a bit in, you know, I'll be in for Friday leftovers. Nope, not Friday leftovers. He's going to get so mad if I say Braddock on the Saturday. I'm going to be for the Friday. Fat Pout Friday. I'm going to be there for the Fat Pout Friday. So Chris, can you schedule time for us to be at the studios on Friday to record?

He texts me today, say, hey, can we push it to like 1230 on Friday to record? I'm like, yeah, that's fine. I'll let the boss know that we could record on Friday at 1230. You know, usually that's when we record on a different studio. So I just have to move a couple of things around. So that's fine. Okay. So I come into studio checking on the calendar to see, hey, man, come we do four o'clock to five o'clock age on Friday to record the Friday leftovers.

I'm like, no, I have plans. It's Friday. Who is at work at five o'clock on a Friday? No. So Jeffrey is a liar. Did you know the San Francisco Board of Supervisors on Tuesday? I voted to ban the sale of e-cigarettes in city limits if they're not approved by the FDA. A.

Wow. That is big for San Francisco. Not really, you know, because you have poop on the streets. So instead of voting for something that will clean you poop on the streets, you decided to do something on, you know, banning e-cigrants. I know. I know. I know.

I'm not, you know. It's just weirdly enough that, you know, you're focusing on e-secrets. You're not. focusing on, I don't know, the homeless population and I don't know, the poop on the street, and I don't know veterans dying, I don't know, but since Jeffrey said he's not going to be here on Friday, this is how I am going to punish him. I'm going to release on Saturday morning at 5 a.m. 6 a.m. Eastern, I'm going to release an interview that I did with 10B. Locke. Tembi Lock is a fantastic woman, an amazing actor or actress.

She is, has a fascinating story about her and her husband. He got diagnosed with cancer in 2002, died of that rare bone cancer in 2012. And, you know, what do you do when you lose a person that you love? And he was a chef out of Italy, you know, and what do you do when you lose that person that you love, right? You just go under the covers and you just cry yourself to. sleep at night, you drink a bunch of wine and you just give up on life. No, she didn't do that. He actually started giving to people. She started caring for those people that care for her.

And we talked about the SWAT team care team, you know, the CAREWAT team that she talks about. She talks about her cooking and how she cooks and how she created this community of grief and counseling and pushing each other to do better. I'm telling you, this lady will make you look like crap in a good way because it will motivate you want to give to others to think of others and to start thinking about what you want to do with your life if someone that you love like a spouse or a kid or a parent or someone that's close to you that passes away what are you going to do to carry on their legacy he was a chef she was an actress well she's still an actress what are you going to do she had big shoes to fill and i think after you listen to the interview

go download her audiobook and start cooking i'm telling you you're going to find purpose as well and hopefully jeffy comes back on monday you know i i want to apologize as ctf you know as a ctf staff member here i want to apologize because you were supposed to get a boop from jeffy tomorrow and you're not we're supposed to record tomorrow at 1230 he canceled you're going to to 4, 5.30, I can't make it because no one is at work at 5 o'clock. And if you're at work at 5 o'clock, you're going to find yourself a better job. So what we're going to do here, we're just powered down. You're listening right now. I know you are because it's 530 Central, 630 Eastern. And we're almost, we're almost done. I actually can see the count clock counting

down to me for me to stop talking. So what we're going to do, you're listening. As you are listening to me. You're going to open whatever app you have, whatever app you have, you're listening on this program. So I'm going to open because I'm actually listening. As I'm speaking to you guys, I'm listening to a podcast as well. Isn't that weird? So you're going to click. If you have an iPhone, sorry, that's all I have. So I'm going to walk you through it on how to share this podcast because we're going to do it together. So I'm going to give you some time. You're driving, right? So pull over. I'm going to wait. You're pulling over because you You're making everybody wait.

So, so pull over. Karen, I told you to pull over. Bill, pull over. John, pull over. Kathy, stop working out. Get off the treadmill. Pick up your phone. There you go, Kathy.

$1.3. You guys pulled over? Okay, good. If you're an iPhone user, walk with me. You're going to open the app. It's a true bit of you open, okay? You already clicked on today's show. You already clicked on it because you listen to it.

You're going to click on the little dots that have, you know, the little three dots are the bottom right. Bottom right, if you're sitting on iPhone, three little dots, bottom right. It says, add to library, save podcast, play next, share episode, Mark has played. you're going to go share episode it's going to come up with it on the menu it's going to say email message Instagram Twitter Facebook is what you're going to do

you go to mail share it there you can do it again messages share it there you're going to put it on your Instagram share it there you can put it on your Twitter

you're going to share it there you're going to put on your Facebook you share it there now John I think it was John Yeah, John, you're at the airport right now. I know you're at the airport. So what you're going to do, you're going to make sure that your AirDrop is on. Again, this is for iPhone users. John, you're at the airport.

Turn on your AirDrop. I'm waiting. Okay. Now what you're going to do is on the same area, you can click the little three buttons on the right. You're going to go to Share episode. And right on the top, it says AirDrop. And boom, oh my gosh, Lindsay. You don't know who she is.

but Lindsay came up on your AirDrop you're going to click on Lindsay you're going to send it to her and I'm telling you that's how you share a podcast that you love this is Chris Cruz

you can follow me at Real Chris Cruz that's Real K-R-I-S C-R-U-Z and you can find me on Twitter you can find me on Instagram by Real K-R-I-S-C-R-U-Z You can find me on Facebook

producer Chris Cruz producer k r i s c r uz or you can also hashtag chune the fat you find jeffy jeffy jf rio or jeffesher radio on instagram and facebook you know we're done i will see you guys on monday