Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 132 | Jeffy is BACK & Tell's His Story

Episode Date: June 24, 2019

What happen on Father's Day... Jeffy tells it all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amazing how much happens in a week. Just amazing. And we'll get to it. I promise. We'll get to it all. Maybe not today, but we will get to it. But first, the story you've been asking for, the story you've wanted to hear about, I'll tell you what it was like to be standing in the middle of the tornado.

It's Father's Day weekend. Wife is gone for work to San Antonio. It's just going to be a regular Sunday. Drive my youngest son, Max, up to the scout camp for his week of work. Back home, a little pissed with all the scout camp dirt and mud all over my VW bug. But I'm, you know, I'll get over it. It's laundry day. I've got work.

We have show prep. I got Walking Dead Prep. Fear the Walking Dead Prep, by the way. And of course, and I know that I missed Fear podcast last week, that's already up today. So you should already have that. So I made good on it. But then the skies got dark. There is a mystery.

Illusive. Unpredictable. violent. It terrifies most scientists. But for a new breed, the challenge is saving lives. The research is deadly. The laboratory is nature itself. As I said, the skies got dark. Nothing unusual here this time of year in northern Texas with strong rain and lightning. My daughter came downstairs from the upper room of the trailer that we live in with, with, hey, you know, I don't like these bad storms. And I told her, don't worry about it, baby.

It's just a storm. There's not even severe thunderstorm warnings. It's just going to be a rainstorm. Don't worry about it. And so off she goes back upstairs. No sooner than she disappears, then I get the alert on my phone. Severe thunderstorm warning. Over your head.

And I thought, Okay, here we go I figure I'll leave her alone Don't say anything She'll have her headphones on She'll be fine Plus

This is gonna really clean That scout camp goo off my car So I'm kind of Kind of feeling good about the rainstorm Big lightning start going off Rain sounds like it's getting A little stronger around the house Then of course my daughter

Reappears Dad Yes Severe thunderstorm warnings have been issued. We'll be fine. It's okay. We're standing in the kitchen. Just made a little spaghetti for the day. Making the afternoon. So I'm done for the day. Getting the chores done. And that's when the rain really started coming down and the wind really started blowing. And we stood in the kitchen looking out the back door window. And I mean,

the door is mostly window. So it's, you're looking, you know, through. that glass. And she backs into me and I wrap my arms around her and I think to myself, okay, father-in-law was in the front bedroom napping. No one else is home. And that's when all hell broke loose. The rain, instead of falling straight down from the sky, starts blowing left. And I mean, the rain was just blowing left. And the wind picked up more noises,

more rain blowing against the home, only the rain was still blowing left. And I've heard the sound before. I mean, I've been in tropical storms and hurricane force storms before when I lived in Florida. But it was,

I don't know if I've told you that before. I don't know that I've, I know. I used to live in Florida. But I know it's been called a train noise. It wasn't really just a train noise. It was just loud from the rain and the speed of the wind. And as the rain kept blowing left, not any angle or anything like that, it picked up speed and noise.

I thought, this is a tornado. Now, mind you, there's no tornado warnings or watches posted, Obviously inside the severe thunderstorms, those are always readily available, I guess. But there's no sirens going off, nothing. And I see that the back fence is blown down now. And that's when the rain started blowing right. It went from left to right in a split second. And stuff from the point.

And the yards and the driveways, those kinds of things are flying around in the backyard. And then a big piece of what I know now is my roof lands in the backyard. I don't know that it's my roof. I know it's somebody's roof. And then the rain goes back left. Stuff still flying. Wind still loud. Daughter still pressed against me.

I'm backing towards the pantry now. as I'm thinking, I don't know how long this is going to last. What's going on? And now the rain is back left. And I'm thinking, now it'll be fine. Don't worry.

It'll be fine. The smoke alarms start going off. Whole fence sections are blown down. No sirens. This is where more fun started. I mean, I don't know if you have smoke alarms in your home. but if you have them that are built into your home,

they're all connected. So when one goes off, they all go off. And they are allowed. And they are all going off. So I don't know if there's a fire. I don't know what's going on. It's like,

go to check on my father-in-law. Because by now, I mean, and it's gone. It's gone, poof. It still, it's just a little raining outside now, but it's gone.

Poof, the fences are all down. I haven't gone outside. I go to check out my father-in-law. He's fine. But water is coming down in his room through one of the smoke alarms. Water is just, I mean, it's not cascading, but it's not just a drip either. It's coming through. And I, you know, okay, get up.

I got to look upstairs. No problem. Get your shoes on. Get your jacket. Get your cane. We got to get out of here. Don't you have another heart attack? I'm talking to him now, not me.

I didn't even think about me. Come to think of it. And I thought, I got to go upstairs. I got to go see what's going on upstairs. Water coming through another smoke alarm, but I smell no fire. Smoke alarm is still blasting. That's when one of the neighbors comes to the front door and bangs on the front door. I get downstairs to see, answer the door.

He's checking to see how am. I. He says, a large portion of your roof is blown off. Okay. Yep, that was the roof I saw drop in my backyard. So he's checking on us. It's nice. Still raining, not as hard, though, before the tornado. As I open up the front door to talk to my neighbor, he's telling me about the roof, and then he turns back to see in the front yard, and the tree that I have in my front yard is broken off about three and a half feet from the ground. The tree is in the neighbor's driveway, partially in the driveway, in the yard and the road. The whole tree. It didn't go into bits and pieces. It just cut it off, cut it off at the stump and went into his yard. The smoke alarms are still

blasting. Got to get my daughter and my father out of his house. I walk out to make sure that my car is still not under some sort of debris it's not it's fine so we come back in with the neighbor and we get the smoke alarms off water is still cascading through the smoke alarms but i finally the ones that didn't have water going through them we we disconnected the ones that had water going through them so then they all stopped and if you ever have you ever have that oh thank you when all that noise stops inside your house. Absolutely incredible how it's so much better without those smoke alarms going off.

Still, I smell no smoke, and I get everybody out of the house, get in the car, and I look up at the house, and you see the roof is gone. And I'm in the driveway, and the neighbors came up, and one of my neighbors is a roofer. We got some tarps.

got up on the roof, not me. Got the tarps on top of it. I mean, I guess it helped a little. I don't know what good the tarps have done now because as long as the tarps are up, there's no smoke alarms. I'm okay. Family's okay.

Take them to a hotel. Get them out of here. We're not going to stay in the house tonight. I come back the next day. The upstairs room, my youngest son's room, where it was one of the smoke alarms cascading through water through the ceiling has now collapsed all over that room. And there's still water from all of that dripping downstairs from,

and there's water dripping into another room next to that. And there's water that had dripped down through into the garage. And as you walk around the house, the outside of the house, when the wind was blowing, one of the fence posts slammed there. You can see on the house where these fence posts had all slammed into the side of the house. One of them actually pierced through the house and was stopped by our headboard of our bed. So now there's a big hole in our bedroom. You walk upstairs and look and you can see, you know, there's the sky and there's, you know, cascading through.

It's incredible. I mean, outside the tree, the metal fireplace that we had out on the backports that's blown out where. And partial part of my roof is in our backyard and another part of my roof is in my neighbor's backyard the back backyard one good thing we never lost power when you turn on the ceiling fan in my son's room there's no ceiling but that still works ceiling fans still going around working great we had uh I shut off the AC killed all the power and shut off the AC and we had the electrician come and had the AC guy come I took turn off all the power except for the refrigerator and the freezer.

I didn't turn those off. I figured if those start a fire, so be it. I'm not losing the food. Okay. You could quote me on that. I'm not losing the food. And the guy says, well, you know, the air conditioning, you could probably, you're probably okay. I see where it blew some stuff off, but that's to the furnace.

And you're not going to run the furnace, so you're probably fine. I didn't want to live with probably fine. So I left the AC off. So that was fun until we got that fixed. And they said, you probably could run the downstairs. Don't be running the upstairs. And by the way, you're going to be living in a hotel for a while. You can come in and out, but that's it.

So that's where we're at. Still starting to smell. Now we're dealing with the homeowner's insurance, the renter's insurance. living in hotels. I see where my automobile got scraped up. Something scraped across the hood of my car. And there's a little, looks like something punctured in my windshield. There's also a big window in my family room that is, I'm surprised, hasn't fallen out.

It's still up, still in the frame, but it's got about five or six running cracks all the way through it. And you can see where it's leaked through that window. That's about ready to come down. Another big storm comes through like last night and it'll come down. I'm expecting to walk into the house today and seeing that window down. And I'm also expecting to see more of more ceilings and more floors crashed through. Because the way that the tarps are on the house, the way the roof went off, there's still some on the front that can't be covered up. It can be covered up, but when the wind blows, the tarps blow up.

So the rain still comes in and you're still getting water damage and there could be some possible structural damage because one of the one of the beams looks like it came pushed apart up at the top I don't know how far down that pushed apart on the house We'll find out from an inspector on that I mean it's just incredible what 30 seconds to maybe a minute of wind and rain do and I'm not the worst there's I mean there's plenty of areas there's an entire swath of storms that came through last week and again last night as well that went through one area that there was one line uh my house was in that path uh it's I had my house was hit with an F1 there were F zeros and F2 and three's farther on but the one just came down down up god god have a nice day we're just going to hit

god uh incredible incredible had it been longer i would have been you know buried in the inside room because there would have been so much more damage um those larger tornadoes we joke around about the movie twister and those huge storms and those f3s f4s f f f fives but those Those are just nothing but destruction. And you do not want to be in their path. That is for sure. It is absolutely amazing. And so now, you know, we're living in, you know, hotels, going back and forth to the hotels.

I do want to talk a little bit about, I don't know if you ever had to live in hotels before. But whoever designs them needs to call me. Are you done? Now I'm talking about the hotel designs. I let you talk for like 30 minutes now. Like can we just get into some of the news, headlines? I know what I want to talk about hotel designs and structure. I let you talk about what happened to you.

Is it agonizing? What happened to you? People need to know. We just move on. Like the tornado. What is happening to me is these hotel rooms? Move on. No one needs to know.

Actually, you know why you have an Instagram, right? I do. Get in there. do a Facebook, no, do an Instagram story, they'll find out. That's actually a good idea. And you could give them a tour, you stupid hotel room. That's actually a good idea because whoever designed and engineers these hotel rooms. Yeah, you have to move on.

Just leave it for the Instagram story. Dude, I just told them. Have not lived in these hotel rooms. They haven't done it. They look pretty on paper. They look, they all looks good, but in real life, no. It does not. So maybe I will doing this.

Maybe I will, Mr. Sparty pants. And I don't think I didn't catch your little, your little, uh, your little shows that you did. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. I don't think I didn't hear that. No other thing I didn't hear your little. Oh, what was the, what was the Jeffrey impersonation? I don't know what you're talking about.

Actually, it got me an award, so I don't know what you got you. It got you an award? It got me an award. Really? Oh, yeah. What, what award did it get you? Oh, I'm sorry? What award did it get you?

Impersonating award. It was really good. I got calls. I got callbacks. A bunch of callbacks. Really? Yes. Really?

That might be a voiceover, you know. There's documentation of this? I do. You know what? I do. I'm going to play some music and I'm going to show the documentation. All right. There's the music.

Where's the awards? Really? You want to tell people about the award? How about you just grab some headlines? And go. Do your job last week. I don't think I need to do it again. Yeah, was that gum?

Yeah. Yeah, I was just taking some stuff out. I was taking some stuff out of the trash. I was taking some stuff out of the trash. I was still good. No, what is that? It was in the garbage. Nicotine gum, though it's still got some nicotine in it.

It's all good. Is that what is it green? Yeah. Still got a little nicotine in it. I've not smoked almost seven months now. Almost seven months. The tornado didn't even get you? No, the tornado.

It came close, though. I bet it did. Came close. Because my father-in-law still, you know. Ball malls. By the one. By the way, you missed one important part of that entire story. No, I didn't miss anything.

You did. No, not a thing did I miss. You didn't miss how I came by, check on you, and helped you get a hotel room, and I don't know, maybe took some of your food because I didn't want it to go to waste. I don't recall that. Did that happen? It did. I did. It just like the award.

It's like, you told me, hey, this happened. I got in the car. Boom. At your house. Huh I know You want to get up with the story So you want to play more music

I don't remember that I'm just waiting to see I'm seeing if you're going to come up With an award I do you have lied to me I did not lie to you What I'm saying is Personation Award

Do you want me just Just start playing the audio That you made me get And then just Have the audience Find out what that We're talking about next Yeah let's do that

Hey Twitter world This is yours truly Now coming soon to Twitter You'll get to Read all my thoughts And opinions So just about everything. I just want you to know,

I am so in love with the OJ Freakin' Simpson's Twitter account. You're not the only one. I love him. Go ahead. Now, this is the very first one. Very first tweet. I told you we missed so much news.

And I know it's, look, some of the stuff is going to be seen like it's old news. It's not even a week old. It's a week old. A little over a week old. It feels like it's like an ancient history now. Because things happen so fast. But I fell in love.

with OJ Simpson all over again with his Twitter account and this is his very first tweet Hey Twitter world This is yours truly Now coming soon to Twitter You'll get there I love him read all my thoughts and opinions

On just about everything Now there's a lot of fake OJ accounts out there So this one At the real OJ 32 is the only official one So this should be a lot of fun Where's his blue check mark by the way Twitter So God bless Take care

And we don't get blue with check marks for murder We'll get a little payback. So God bless. We'll give a little of that too. And he goes out, he talks a couple more, he goes on and talks that he's not. He didn't have an affair with, what's her face? Hey, tour the world. You know, for years, people have been able to say whatever they want to see about me.

With no accountability. But now I get to challenge a lot of that BS and set the record street. More importantly, I'll be able to talk about everything, especially sports fantasy football. And even politicians. Well, I'll go off topic. But for now, let me just say to my fellow fathers out there, happy Father's Day. And God bless.

God bless. So he is not one of the Kardashians' fathers. He did not have an affair with the mom. Chris? He did not have an affair with her. He said that. Same name as your producer, Chris, Chris, Jenner? Yeah, I know.

The mom. Chris. He hit them up. She has a name, Chris Jenner. Dude, you and I are. Is there an award yet? Is there proof of an award yet? Twitter world is me, yours truly.

You know, after last week, I got a lot of comments from football fans telling me juice. Come on. Fantasy, you got a draft, a running back first. And normally I would go along with that, except in the case of Patrick Mahomes. Now, there's only one quarterback within a hundred points. Now, let me ask you this question for you fantasy freaks out there. If OJ wanted a player, you'd already drafted him. Are you going to tell OJ you can't have it?

Yeah, you can't have it. No, you're not. No, you're not. Oh, do you get the jokes now? I notice you had posted, I don't get the sluggish jokes. I didn't. Someone explains me. He killed his girlfriend and his girlfriend's friend.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah, he was found innocent of that. He was found not guilty of that. I'm so if you about the glove because sometimes trying to be like Michael Jackson. He was found.

But Michael Jackson wore a white glove. He was wearing a black glove. You cannot be serious. What? You cannot be serious. I am serious. The glove was what he was supposed to be wearing when he murdered them.

Oh, well, that makes him more sense. Now, in the trial, they had him tried on it. It didn't fit. And that's where the line come from. And if it doesn't fit, you must have got to be kidding me. You cannot not know this. You cannot not know.

When was this? I don't know. A couple hundred years ago. It's ancient history now. I mean, when was this? 92, 93, 94, maybe something like that? 95. Oh, okay.

Was it 95? So, that's a trial. That's a trial, right? 95 was the trial? Yeah, January 25th, 95. Yeah, okay, so it was 94. Yeah, so it was 94. Yeah, June 12, 94 is when he murdered those two people.

No, he did allegedly. He was never. Yeah, he murdered Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Allegedly. He was found not guilty of that. And he read a book about if I did it. In a civil trial, he was found guilty, but that's just because they wanted money, which he's never paid a dime for.

I don't know. He may have paid a dime, actually, but I don't think he's paid very much more than that. And that's what got him in trouble in Vegas. Right? He got him in trouble in Vegas because he was side dealing. And this guy took some of his stuff and didn't give him his money. And he'd have been okay had he not gone to collect some of his money without a gun. He took a gun.

So once a criminal, you always a criminal. You. I need to step away from bad mouth and O.J. Simpson, man. Yeah, because you've been by mouth him, you're going to get threats. I mean, he threatens. And threats are such a hard word. He just wants to make people aware that. that he's not going to put up with.

He already told you in the first one, the only real OJ, the only real Twitter account is this one. He already told you that there's all those fake accounts out there, the fake websites. He's going to take them all down, man. So it makes me laugh so much, man. The guy is, I love O.J. Simpson, always did.

And there for a while, I did think he was innocent. Really? You know, I went with it. But he's such a, such a guy he's threatening a Twitter guy oh what was the what do you say

okay so I did see the one you know the where the guy was saying that OJ direct message him tell him to get rid of the parody account where he said the tweet was

yeah at real OJ 32 just sent me this scary ass DM treating me to delete my parody account and his parody account and the Twitter account is

at killer OJ Simpson OJ Simpson OJ you got to get over it bro you got to get out just let it go man let it go you could be just talk your fantasy football

we already got it square you're not the you're not the mom of the Kardashian I mean you're not the dad of the Kardashian in. You didn't have sex with the mom. We believe you. Let's move on.

You got to let the killer stuff go, man. If you let it go, we all will let it go. All right. So, anyway, that was last week, too. Plus, I've got, you know what I did? You know what we could do? Maybe we'll just do this today. We'll go through, I went through, uh, like, you know, we were at the hotel and stuff

and I see stories. So I send them to me to my email. Send them a story for the show. Send them story, story, story. And I've got like, I got all these stories I never got to last week because I was lazy and took it off

and I took a little heat for that too by the way from people you just had a tornado hit your hose why did you get to take time off just because because I felt like it like the other thing one of the great stories

I got a ton of stuff we'll get to for the rest of week I promise well I'll leave you with two of my favorite stories from last week one is Netflix says it won't make any more episodes of Good Omen's. Wait, I thought that was an Amazon Prime show.

Oh my gosh, it is. So the UK had a Christian petition signing for the show Good Omen's, which is actually a pretty good show. I enjoyed what I've seen of it. I've seen bits and pieces of about four or three or four episodes, something like that. And they got a petition together asking Netflix not to make good omens. And Netflix responded by saying, okay, we promise not to make anymore.

Netflix, UK and Ireland responded to the Guardian story, okay, we promise not to make anymore. What makes that funny is that it's an Amazon Prime show. So if you're going to protest something, know what you're protesting. I mean, that's just unbelievable. So Amazon responded to Netflix. Only Amazon responded to Netflix proper, not Netflix UK, which I find kind of strange. You think their social media account would know better.

But, hey, at Netflix, we'll cancel stranger things if you cancel good omens. Really funny. Really funny. And to those of you that don't know, Stranger Things is a Netflix show, not an Amazon Prime show. Next week. Next week for Stranger Things.

Back up. I know I've got, this week put me way behind on TV show watching too, man. I am so behind. There were some new shows that came out too. Anyway, I'll get back to it. Don't, don't.

Don't. What are new shows? Yellowstone. One of the top rated cable shows of their season two premiere. Oh, that's not new. It was just a new season. Then there was a story that I have on my list of things that I love is the lotto scam.

All right. So what people do, you go in. And we talked about this, in fact, I have a good way to scam people on lottery. It's why you got to keep track of your winnings. So when you go in and you say, hey, I think this is a winner. And you give it to the clerk and the clerk says, yep, you won five bucks and gave you the five. Right? And you go, okay, cool.

Cool. And walk away. Well, what was going out? as this clerk was saying, yep, here's you won five, giving you five and the ticket. And then they throw the ticket down. And the ticket was actually worth a hundred. So they cash it in later. Keep the 95.

Nice. That's a good profit. Except they got busted with the lottery police. That's a good gig, too. You know, I always wanted to be the Heinz police, but maybe the lottery police is a better job in today's world. Maybe I could do both. I could be a Heinz police officer and a lottery police officer, but that'd be fun. going in and checking and making sure you're selling

the right ticket. So a lottery official goes in with a winning ticket. He knows it's a winning ticket of $100 because he's the lottery police officer. Hello. And the girl says, oh yeah, you won five bucks and gives them five. And he walks out of the store, turns right back around. You're under arrest or shutting this place down. Have a nice day.

And I mean, it was a good deal while you did it, right? You just got to know when to, If it feels wrong, man, pay it out. When in doubt, pay it out. You can quote me on that, too. When in doubt, pay it out. All right. So a couple things before we wrap it up today.

Remember that we've got the museum starting 12 score and three years ago. The unfinished promise of unity. Happening right here at our Irving Studios, starting the 29th. What is that next Friday? geez, end of June already. Here at the Mercury Studios in Irving, Stu and I will be giving our tour on the 5th of July

at 2 p.m., I think, is our tour. So get on it. It's going to be the best tour. So what, Glenn Beck's given tours. So what, David Barton's given tours? Who are they? Are they Stu and Jeffie? No.

So get on it. Or just, you know, if you don't want to come on our tour, just come to the museum and look around and have fun. I'm looking forward to it. They've got the studios are, have been transformed.

They're almost 100% transformed now. And it's going to be amazing. So go to mercury one.org and get your tickets for a 12 score three years ago of the unfinished promise of unity. Where's the, the boat? You mean the boat? I've seen the boat yet.

It's backed out there. Oh, it is? Yeah, it's in the... I see the oval. It's in the lake. It's in the boat. We have to, so from here there's a bus to get to the lake. We're going to take him to the lake.

Yeah. What lake? The lake. You know, the lake that floods up and floods over at the park every day in Irving? Oh, yeah, next to the school. There'll be plenty. Yeah, there'll be plenty of water there for the boat. I don't know.

There's a big box back there. I think that's the boat. Does that look like a boat? We need to do more construction on dive. That's the boat. Looks like a, like you said, a box. Like a container box. Yeah, it's a box.

It's a shipping box. You can't just, the boat doesn't float here. It's got to be shipped here. Oh, so it's interesting. side. Wow. Sometimes, I mean,

you see what I'm working with. Subscribe to Chewing the Fat while you're at it. I need your subscriptions. I need your help. My God,

man. You heard of us like when I'm not here. The best show ever. Won an award. If you're, if you're, if you're,

if the best means different than what you think it means, then that's what it was. Yeah. Exactly what it was. So subscribe. to chewing the fat. And if you're,

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you can get chewing the fat. So, subscribe. And another thing that you can do, okay? Every device in your home. That's all I want. Every device in your home needs to be a subscriber to chewing the fat. I didn't even drink a Coke zero today during this thing, man.

I was sitting right here, I've got to take a sip. When it doubt, pay it out. 12 score and three years ago, the unfinished promise of unity is at Mercury Studios. You need to be here to see this. June 29th through July 7th, it's going to be incredible. and unlike any museum you've ever set foot in, we have augmented reality experiences. You'll see the artifacts actually come to life on your smartphones.

And we've got special tours from David Barton and Glenn Beck, but there's only a few spots on each of these tours left. For general admission and guided tours, go to Mercury1.org or call 972-499-4747 for more information. That's exactly why I mentioned it, why I told you about that earlier. You know why? Because that promo,

I'm kind of glab back on David Barton do tours. Does it mention, does it mention Stu and myself? No, it does not. I don't know who okayed this promo, but whoever it was, I want to talk to him. It wasn't me. I created that promo. That doesn't surprise me.