Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 136 | Fat Pile Friday with Nick Di Paolo

Episode Date: June 28, 2019

Jeff brings you the fat pile with a twist. Nick Di Paolo joins the show and don't forget to subscribe to Nick via NickDip.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friday Chewing the Fat. Welcome, a very special chewing the fat coming up. But first, let me tell you about what's happening this weekend through July 7th. Mercury Studios has been completely transformed for a special pop-up museum, 12 score and three years ago. The unfinished promise of unity. So it's starting tomorrow, which is the 29th of June 2019. If you're listening to this, whenever you're listening to this, and it's ending July 7th, 2019. You're going to learn more about past slavery and current slavery in our country and the world today.

I was walking through the atrium today, and it's filling in now there's more and more and more. Every day I come out there, there's more and more stuff. Glenn just keeps adding stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we need that. Yeah, we need that. I was out there yesterday afternoon, and I was walking around with them, and it was just like, and we were talking about this and talking about that and then somebody says, well, I'm thinking about

using this, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's put that right there, put that right there, and then they start moving it around. So go to Mercury1.org, get your tickets and come here now. Now, on Friday the 5th, you have an opportunity, yeah, I know the rest of the week. You've got tours with Glenn and tours with David Barton, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But you also have a tour, a special tour with Stu and myself. Now, what makes that even more special is, that we could barely be around each other. We don't like each other much. And they're kind of forcing us to do this tour. So you want to be able to take the tour with us because not only you're going to get the tour,

but you're going to get our little infighting. Because I do not want to do it with them. Yeah, I don't know what the whack-wack was for, but I don't want to do it with them. Are we eating ducks? Are we having a little morning show? Good morning. Good morning.

Welcome to it. So go to mercury one.org and get your tickets now and then come to Mercury Studios and enjoy the museum. Bring your family. There's a couple of experiences that you will never forget. And... Like what? You know what? I'll show you on a Facebook live tomorrow.

What time? Opening day. Tomorrow. I hate to give a time. I need a time. I need to. If you subscribe to my Facebook page, Jeff Fisher Radio,

if you subscribe to my Instagram, Jeff Fisher Radio. What are you doing on Facebook Live and an Instagram live? Ooh. You subscribe to my Twitter at Jeffrey JFR. And a Periscope? I'll let you know. You'll be alerted.

Are you doing Perkskov? You'll be alerted. We'll do a Facebook live on Jeff Fisher Radio. We'll do a Facebook live. We'll do a Facebook live. But I'll alert you on. on Instagram and Twitter, what time? I mean, late morning, early afternoon.

Is that what you're thinking? I'm thinking about 10-11-ish. That's awful. I guess that's late morning, but, ooh. Tenlish. Ten-lish? All right, 10-ish. All right, 10-ish, fine.

All right, fine. Look for it. And while you're subscribing to my social media accounts, you might as well subscribe to Chewining the Fat too. Just get on it. It's free. Looking at the camera and up. I want them to know how serious I have about them to subscribe.

Everybody got their thing in the hole. We're good. Hell yeah. Can I get some loob on this side of the... Yeah, just a second. What I do with it? Welcome to it, Fat Pile Friday. On Chewing the Fat.

Another special edition of Fat Pile Friday. joining me is Nick DePaulo, comedian, actor, entertainer extraordinaire, joining me on Fat Pile Friday, just to go over the headlines and give us his thoughts on some of the stories that we've missed during the week. Welcome to it. Nick, how are you? Good. How are you doing, John? I am so good. I am so good. I ran into you out in the hallway. I know you talked to Glenn earlier today. So what the heck are you doing in Dallas? What's going on? I'm doing, I had a show last night at Quixotic World. And then tonight I'm at the Beltonian Theater in Belton, Texas.

I love the Beltonian Theater. Have you ever been there? That place is one of my favorite places. Seriously? No, I've never been there. I was going to say, because every time I tell people they go, where the hell's that? I go, you're from Dallas? It's only two hours away.

Yeah. You guys ever leave your apartments for Christ's sake. We do leave, we do leave the house once in a while, but we go the other direction. Yeah. Where is it? anyway, seriously. I don't know direction-wise. I just know it's two hours and ten minutes.

It's two hours and ten minutes from here. That sounds like Oklahoma. Is it really? That's all right. This star for entertainment. I'll go anywhere. I'm a real war. So where are you at after that?

You're going back home to Georgia? Back home to Georgia, yes. And I don't know my next gig. You go to nickdip.com, but I have some time off, I know, which is good because I just moved into this house. There's a ton of stuff to do. But I will fill in. Don't you have due people for that?

What's that? Don't you have due people for? For that. You got to pretend that you care when you're married. Oh, okay. That city is the halfway point between here in Austin. Wow. Oh, there you go.

It's not. So that's not that stick country. No, it's an hour and a half. Hour and a half. And my oldest son lives in Austin. And I've driven down there. Get him out of there before he comes back as Diane. Quite a lot.

No, he won't come back as Diane. That's fine. It's a football player. Yeah, he won't come back. Oh, okay. He'll come back as Diane. as Buffy. Who was, well, who was the, remember the gay guy that got drafted a few years ago?

Yeah, my son played with them actually from the University of Missouri. You're kidding. Yeah, no, I swear to go. So he played at Missouri. So he's a serious football player. Yeah, my oldest son, my oldest son. Yeah, he played for the Patriots for, uh, for a year. What's his friend from?

Elvis Fisher. Yeah. Elvis Fisher. You have a black son? Yes. Yes, I do. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you get when you have a black wife. Why are you making something wrong with that?

Not always. Build the Blasher card right now, the black kids. Yes, thank you. I got to talk to my son about a Bill Belichick and how dangerous he could be to his. Yeah, so, I mean, it could happen. And they all knew, actually, before he came out nationally, I mean, everybody on the team knew that he was a hell of a ballplay. I can't think of his stupid name now, but you're right. Sam?

Yes. Sam something. Yes. Gosh, darn it. Look it up. Chris, that's your job. Christian knows? Sam Monelli.

Michael Sam? Michael Sam. Yes, she had the Sam, right? It was close. Michelle Sam, exactly. Yes. So when you go home, yeah. Is your wife happy to see you?

Or is like the truck driver wife that's like, you know, aren't she supposed to be back on the road again for a while? She is actually, I got a great wife. She's actually happy to see me. I don't know why because I contribute nothing. even in what she this is when I know she was way more efficient as a person

she planned our whole wedding over 200 people I did not I was so uninvolved of the planning she sent me an invitation and I was busy Be there Yeah be there

I said I'm gonna try I said I got a gig at Skid Marks in Buffalo the night before but so yeah no she doesn't like what I'm on the road she actually enjoys my company I don't understand

unless we're fighting and I get miserable when I'm not at when I'm not doing comedy. When I'm not, I do. You're all calmed up. Yeah. You get, yeah, it is like you're mentally constipated. And I, you know, and when you're a comic and if you're not doing comedy,

you're not doing much more. You're pretty close like a homeless guy. There's only so much yard work a man could do. Yeah. There's only so I used to think my dad loved yard work and then I realized after I got married, you just hated my mother. Right. He just wanted to get out of the house. He was raking leaves back on to our lawn in the fall. He just wanted to get back into the house. Did you

clean those gutters last night? Yeah, I did. And I'm going to clean them again, too. That's right. That's exactly right. All right. So one of the stories that I found out today was wonderful. And I talked about a little bit filling in for Pat Gray this morning on Pat Unleashed. We're all going to be rich. And I don't know if you know this, Nick.

But we have now found an asteroid that is headed toward Earth. NASA is going to send a probe out in 2022. Should get there by 2026. but it is worth 10,000 quadrillion dollars. Big time. Syke. How are we going to get ridge?

I'm going to tell you in just a moment. Syke 16, all right, is loaded with platinum, iron, nickel, and gold. Yeah, so is my breakfast cereal. I mean, a big fucking deal. I just want to remind you that this, Chewing the fat. Yeah.

Fat Pile Friday. Yeah. Just back it down a little. Is it terrestrial? No, well, it's just, just be nice. Let's blink that. Nobody told me. It's my ninth show and a...

I know that. I know. That's why I'm laying it up for you right now because we're going to do another podcast that I'm releasing tomorrow with you. Okay. That's completely uncensored. Okay.

That is completely unscensored and it's completely you and me just talking about events. On filter. Yes, it's Nick and Jeffrey. Well, a few fucking people told me. No, all right. You can drop them all you want. That's why I thought.

You could drop them all you want. No, I'm not going to. But I can temper my act. You can? So you're professional. Yeah, you're professional. I am a professional. Profess.

Anyway, Syke 16 is loaded with gold. And now they are saying that it's enough to, you know, cause havoc, havoc in the commodity prices. Haddock. I love that. I love it. I was a lot of the attic. It was a headache. It would be better than gold.

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. It's my favorite fish. Please. It's Hattuck. We're taking it. We're taking it. We're taking Hattuck.

It's going to be havoc with commodity prices. But I think it'd be separate, right? You'd have the regular Earth gold and then you'd have asteroid gold. So you'd have, that's a whole other thing. And that's maybe why Elon and Bezos. And what's his face? The other space guy. From Verizon.

He's going, yes. He's going to. They all want to get. to space they're going after asteroid gold i heard but uh but i heard they've given up on that uh no branson is going back up well it might have not have been branson one of them yesterday was in the news that they're like they might be uh given up on the uh space trips oh no yeah oh no yeah she's give faces and his girlfriend no longer can go to this yeah right he had to give the wife 37 billion now we're cutting back on the space can you imagine you're back on the space it must have been a real

piece of ass 37 man boy right no kidding no kidding plus I got to say, that was, it was awful nice of her because I was expecting her to get more. She should have gone for more. And she was really nice. No, not really. And she let him have still be the richest guy in the world. And she only took $37 billion.

And she's, you know, they played nice. He's going to have a poison, rat poison delivered to her house. Exactly what I said. In the form of Gouda. And I love the fact that she said, that she said she was going to donate her money. She joined the, she pledged her. She joined the pledge that, you know, all the. money would go to charity and stuff when she dies. And Jeff was like, that's nice of her.

I mean, he didn't say, oh, me too. He was like, no, he's nice. That's nice of her. I really appreciate it. He did not join the pledge crowd, man. It was great. But he's, but he knows and people know it's really his money. So that way he looks like in his eyes. Yeah. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Yeah. Really good. Yeah. Millions of Americans, millions of Americans are driving high, according to a new AAA report. Is that something new? That's not new. That's not new.

I'm sorry. It's a AAA report. Millions of Americans are getting behind the wheel after using marijuana according to a startling new report, startling new report from the American Automobile Association Foundation. The past 30 days an estimated 15 million drivers admitted to driving within an hour of using marijuana. How many?

Within a 15 million. 15 million drivers admitted to driving within an hour of using marijuana. them on the highway on the way here. 11 miles out on the left lane. Yeah, that's Dallas right there. Yeah, no kidding. Wait until you try to get to your club tonight. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes. You're leaving here drive time. Have fun. You have to go through Fort Worth and, oh, yeah. Have fun. Seriously? Yeah, I should get myself. Yeah, I have the WayZap, it tells you.

Oh, then you're good. Yeah. You're good. That's the same one I use, yeah. It's bad, huh? Yeah. Can you look at their websites, see what time the show is? I never know.

Honestly God, I check, you know. Do you just show up? Sometimes. I've done a show tonight. I've never been late to again. For those that we're not paying attention, where you're performing again? The Beltonian Theater in Belton, Texas. Didn't you type that in just a few moments ago?

Didn't it come up on your phone? No, I went to the map and put Belton. Okay. All right, whatever. Whatever what the problem is. Yeah, you're doing a 7.30 tonight, buddy. Oh. God, no.

That's an early show. That means it's two hours and ten minutes away. I'm leaving right at rush hour. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Rush hour here's starting to like three, four o'clock. 3.45. Yeah. 3.30, 3.45.

There's some construction zones. Wait a minute. Rush hour starts at 3.45. Yeah, between 3 and 3.45. If you get on the road before 3.30, you're usually pretty good. Yeah, especially if you're going the other way. Wait, hold on a second. What are you talking?

You guys. What do you mean? What should? When is rush hour? Huh? When is rush hour? Well, in most cities it's five o'clock. Yes, I know.

Yes. And you'll be in the thick of it at five o'clock. But it starts, you know, about 3.30. If you leave her by 2.30, you'll make it. Get out of this. You get out of this building before 3.30, you're okay. You're, you're busting my boss. No, no, no, no, no, seriously.

Because I'm about to go to Houston. The show's 730. You're telling me I have to leave by 3 o'clock? Yes. If you want to. Give myself four and a half hours. Yes. That would give you time.

to get there and relax. Please, you're busting my. No, I'm not. Because you've got to help you traffic, and then there's a couple of construction areas in there. Because I was in San Diego a couple months ago, and it did it. A two-hour ride from L.A. to San Diego is about two hours.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it took me, it was a Friday just like this, took me four and a half hours. Yeah, well, it shouldn't take you that long, unless there's an accident. But it shouldn't take you, it shouldn't take you that long. I'd say if you don't, I say leave 3.30 on the road, you'd be fine.

It'd be fine. You'd be fine. A man of your stature, a man of your stature, maybe, maybe you get an Uber, maybe Uber yourself a helicopter and you get there in plenty of time. Uber my left nut. I'm not going to do that. I took two obas of my life. One of my guy getting an accident.

I said, really? This is what everybody's breath. Seriously? Guy drifted into, into an on the highway. He was high as a kite's kid. Also, he's part of the, the AAA survey. He drifted in and bumped cars at 70 miles. Nice.

Luckily, the guy in the Mercedes was a flight. He didn't care. care, just kept going. That's because of the guy that were saying he was stolen. It was my second Uber ride. Oh, wow. And I gave the kid four stars. Well, he didn't kill you.

He didn't kill you. He got you there. He didn't get a bottle of water. I just said it's unbelievable. You collided and didn't lose the wheel. So I'm giving you four stars. What about a fifth star? I don't get it.

I don't even how it works. I've never rated anybody. I'm not going to fucking Uber. I mean, Uber. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you listening to chewing the fat today. to subscribe to Nick DePaolo's

What are we supposed to subscribe to for you? What are you got? Mondays are free. Yeah, Mondays are free. Go to Nick Dip.com. It's a Nick DePaolo show. We've added 50,000 YouTube subscribers in less than a year.

And it's really funny. How many subscribers do you have, Jeff? I don't recall, but you need to subscribe to chewing the fat. It's free. You know what? Mondays? I almost got the plug.

Tuesdays. Wednesdays. Let me think about this for a second. Thursday. Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. Instant. And Friday. and Saturday, all free on chewing the fat.

All free. Mine's Monday through Thursday. It's free on Monday. And then you go to Nicktip.com if you want to subscribe to the other three shows. And people are, since that special came out, I keep adding subs. And I have a presence on social media. You do? And I never did before.

Not as big as a chick from last night. Who? The chick that has $2 million. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Williamson, whatever. She'd be crazy broad. She sounded like a Manson follower.

We're going to win this thing with love. Tell that to ISIS as they lop your skull off. She was actually, she was kind of right. She was talking to her people. And who's that? Ted Bundy fans. Yes, yes. Her people on the stage, those are Ted Bundy people,

saying that they are not going to beat Trump with the policy talk. Yeah, you're going to beat him with love. well you might not beat him with love if that love starts from the waist down you get a chance you got a chance unless you're in Bergdorf

unless you're in Bergdorf said you know you're all right yeah that broad wasn't bad shit crazy was she no oh my gosh another one now she's a man absolutely amazing

but Williamson is a huge following right I mean she's helped Oprah she's helped Oprah and she's helped I think even Michelle Obama oh yeah she's done a great job with Oprah who's who's waking

goes up and down every other week. Wait, man, wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't start, don't start. Don't start fat shaming. Why? There's a little fat shaming is off-win-a-old. You're ripped. I don't want to hear.

I mean, you sure. The name of the show is chewing the fat. My face is on the steak for the logo, okay? So don't start fat-shaming. Don't do it? Don't you love a good steak? I had steak five times in the last two weeks. That's it?

Oh, I love it. What was the other times? Hot dogs? No. Hamburgs? Nah, I made, I made collard greens. Did you tell me kale? I'm not.

I made collard greens are good. Oh, my God. And I made him the way you make them in Savannah. It started with the smoked ham hawks and, oh, mother. Butter. I, you know, just tremendous, tremendous. Gave him to a homeless guy. He said they were great.

You should know. That's awful nice to you. You should know, Mr. Biden. That is really, really nice of you. Coming out of Cambridge, United Kingdom, They've done a study now, new research, that working just one day per week may be the answer to improve your mental health. Just may be the answer to improve your mental health. Is that Cambridge, England of Mass?

The England. St. Politics. A group of researchers at the universities said that they wanted to find the dosage of work most beneficial to employees' mental health. One day a week. According to their findings published in Science Daily, I mean, of course you. Yeah. They asked a guy laying in a park bench is what they asked. What's your name?

Science Daily. Working more than eight hours a week provided no additional boost to mental well-being. So the traditional model in which everyone works around 40 hours a week was never based on how much work was good for people. Our research suggests that micro jobs provide the same psychological benefits as full-time jobs. Micro jobs. That includes my right hand? Yes, it does. And while your mental health may be fine with one day a week, I don't think your bank health will be.

No, exactly. I don't think your mental health is going to go way downhill. When you look at your bank account, you're going to get filled with anxiety and stuff. That is the dumbest article ever. I wouldn't put that at the bottom of my parakeets cage. That's why it's Fat Pout Friday. That's why it made it to Fat Pound Friday. Can I ask where you find this stuff?

Seriously, I don't know where they find go be. Don't be looking at my What are we in competition We are since Mr. I've got 50,000 subscribers We did you get it there I don't know It's just on the internet

That's what it doesn't It's called having a good producer So just email me And I'm willing to Oh is that right? Is that what it's called Since this didn't come from you Is that what it's called?

It came from me It came from me I'll help you I'll give you some Nice websites Okay All right Oh isn't that special

What Isn't that special I'm just trying to get a freaking special. That's right. He has to put him out on YouTube now. He doesn't even have any place to, no place giving him a special.

How many subscribers do you have? I forget now, but you can subscribe for free to join that. How many people have seen my special one of a month and a half? Half a million. How many people have seen your special? Do you even have a special?

I need a drink of Coca-Cola zero. I'll tell you that. Boy, I see that heart problem really scared you. You got a picture of a steak on your mug, you're drinking Coke. What are you trying to end it tonight? That's not just Coke. Hold on.

What's it? What's it? Bacon fat and that? You're talking about this is Coca-Cola zero sugar. Yeah, zero health. Are you kidding me? What? There's a picture of Dick Cheney clutching his chest on the back of the can.

From Coca-Cola Zero? Are you kidding me? Please. This is what America thrives on. Ice cold Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. Do not. This guy had a heart attack. He's got a picture of a prime rib on his mug.

It was a hard event, by the way. Oh, a heart event? What did you have a heart attack? No, it was a hard attack. He was a hard attack. What were you doing, a balloon animals had to? It was an event. We had a clown, a French gun, a United States.

cycle and juggling. Yes. When you have an opportunity to see Nick DePalo in, where are you performing in some small town somewhere? Two hours from me. Two hours outside of DFW. So if you're somewhere in Texas. What if I left at six?

All the traffic's gone. Yeah, but you're not going to make it in time. No, no. Traffic does not end at six. The drive time doesn't end. Yeah, 7.30. Why would be at 7.30? Drive time doesn't end until about 7.

Oh, my God. This sounds like L.A. Pretty close. Yeah. How many of ladies? Not as many as L.A. No, but quite a few. And they all have three cars.

Everybody from L.A. is moving here, so. Boy, that's true. We have to stop that, man. We've got to stop the California occasion of Texas, man. Yes, they are. You know, one of the things that I find fascinating about that, too, is that we talk to people that, uh, who live in California and think about fleeing. And there's, California has set it up so they've made it even difficult for you to flee.

You know, so you think to yourself, well, you just sell your house and you get the hell out. It's what you do in America, right? The same thing you did. Yeah. You know, you were living up with the Northeast wanted to move down south. You moved to Georgia. Why you picked Georgia, I have no idea, but. Everybody keeps asking me that.

Have I been in Savannah? Yeah, I know, it's beautiful. I know, it's beautiful. We should have gone Atlanta and get shot in front of a titty bar? No, I said Georgia, period. I went to Florida. If you're reading Georgia, I must be just drive me to go to Florida. That's the state to live in.

It's Florida. But what's the difference? Florida's the most, you know, you got white trash, then you get Ocala, violent. Yeah, Ocala's great. Just go to Tampa. Go to Tampa. Yeah, Tampa Bay. Tampa where my friend was shot to death in Tampa.

Oh, no. Yeah, I played football with in college. You know, every once in a while something happens bad everywhere. That's true. I just like Savannah is such a sweet time. Savannah is really. But everybody's asking me that. I'm starting to wonder.

You don't want to, you know, you can't get abortions anymore. So. Yeah, Georgia. Oh. Maybe that's why they're asking you why. Yeah, Georgia. You can get abortions at any house that has a staircase, you can. So anyway, well, my point was, my point was in California is that people can't leave because

they've set it up so that you can't sell your home unless it's all upgraded, unless it's all upgraded. And under, you know, you have, oh, no, you can't sell your home. You've got to have, what, solar panels and stuff? You've got to have it all upgraded to sell. That's why that state is the worst in the union. I know. You have to have the cancer warning. Let me make sure that this house costs a cancer.

because everything California is labeled that. I know. Unbelievable. I lived in L.A. for four years. I went to dentists, and it said, warning, the fillings could cause. Yeah, I went to McDonald's in the drive-thru for the first time in California, and it says, warning, some items may give you cancer. I'm like, is this the same McDonald's as I like the other McDonald's in the rest of the country?

No, I know. I noticed that, too. This guy's telling me to floss. Meanwhile, he's putting stuff into me that if I get my wife pregnant, she's got to have a baby with three arms and four legs. It's like, oh, and you're worrying about my teeth at this point? Wonderful. All right, so let's go to, we haven't done any, we haven't done an update from Windsor Castle.

And we've had some news from Windsor Castle this week. So let's go to the Windsor Whisperer. All right, so what are we got? What's the latest from the Windsor? Because I saw a story where now Megan won't lose weight. She's saying she's not going to lose weight after the baby. And they're supposed to get back on shape. She has to.

I mean, she's got a hop-sing on it. According to Windsor, there are Windsor Whisper. She says she will not be hitting the gym. And she extending her maternity leave. What? Until the fall. When are they shipping off to Africa? That's when our chief would be one.

One. Okay. So they have nine months or so before they have to go to Africa. Yeah. So right now it's telling us that she will refuse to go to the gym. She says the best thing that she could do right now for her pregnancy is rest, relaxation, quality time with a boy. That's God. And that's it.

Yeah. Yeah. She got into it. They pulled the plug right there. She's fighting with Kate and with Kate and William again. Yep. She's fighting with Kay. She actually, him and Harry decided to cut ties with the foundation and they're going to start their own foundation.

She is so bad. The queen is so pissed that she. And the property. is being sold. Prince Harry's property. Oh, you're the Barbados vacation spot. There's where you should move. The three-decker house in Manchester.

Yeah, they have to sell that. Who gives a rat? Whoa, what do you mean? Who cares? This is what you're talking about. You're talking about the Royals. Kansas City Royals are more interesting. I just, you're an actor.

Did you ever get to me, Megan? Megan Kelly. No. I don't get the whole. No, I don't get the whole. You don't get it? I don't get why people give two rats. Those are the royals.

That's important. It isn't, though. They were irrelevant. We threw them off our backs. But here's the thing, though. Did you know, did you know, like, you know, what's the queen's husband's name? A Kevin.

Yes, Kevin. Yeah, Kevin O'Neill. Kevin O'Neill, yes. Yeah, Kevin O'Neill decided to tell Harry, uh, don't not married, maybe. Right? We told it, because the whole deal is that she is just a nightmare for the whole plan. And Jeffrey, who is she in the royal family?

She's the AOC. Oh, she is definitely the AOC of the royal family. Really bad. She's starting fights. She's coming in. She's trying to fix. She figured she was so happy about becoming a royal that she thought she was going to be the princess and rule and be with Harry. And we know that the queen said, nope.

No. The queen has actually come out. Well, what our insiders tells us that the queen has said, you know, you can have princesses and the queen can override that. But she told Harry she cannot use her jewelry. she cannot use anything royal and making her princess yeah that's not going to happen not going to happen at all yeah she's done man they're going to ship her off to africa they're going to take the kid and go you can go ahead and poo poo all you want over there nick but i'm telling you that when the fights start what fight the royals fighting

megan and the queen man megan and the queen in the octagon that you like this megan and the queen in the octagon they're going to drop them in fact that you're interested is You're a queen. That's what it tells me. What if I am? I mean, so? I'm just saying.

I love that. Nicky's getting all comfortable. Look at him. I know. I have to get out of here in 30 seconds. I'm putting my legs up. Yeah. You got to get to your show.

I got to leave. Apparently you have to leave in an hour to get to Belton. Because they put all headliners at, you know, dinner time. You're doing the dinner show? Yeah. Where are you performing tonight? other than Jenny Craig did you? I'm not performing there either.

He'll be in the meat aisle at Kroger's. Oh, I'm looking forward to that, actually. That's Sam's Club. Another queen joke. I'm sorry. I figured this guy out. That's cut, too. Just means we're done.

No, not cut. It just means we're breaking. We're going to go into another segment. I got to go. I got to go. Why? You just told me that I have to leave 10 minutes to get to my gig. I look nine hours from now.

Can I rent the rocket ship? Yes. Cal Bezos from budget. This is Texas, man. No problem. You got it. So, new app. Now, the headline calls it horrifying.

I don't know that it's horrifying. Deep nude? Yeah. Did you see that? Deep nude? You see it? Photo of any woman with a single click. $50 deep nude app dispenses with the idea that deep fakes for about anything but besides

claiming ownership. I'm telling you. I don't get it. What's the app to? So, for example, let's say you have a picture of a girl with clothes on. You put it in the app and it will take off the clothes and boom, she's naked. Doesn't matter. So instead of just envision that.

But it's not really her body. No, no, no, no. And that's what it's called. It's a deep fake. Yes. Yes. Yes. But it's called deep nude.

Well, yeah, it's not. It's not really her body. At first one I'd do was Michelle Obama. Yep. I know. Then maybe what, Whoopi Goldberg? And you'd see the Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah.

She's like a beanbag with dreads. I know. I didn't want to see it once. you know you would you know you'd look no Michelle I didn't want to do Michelle Obama and you take her clothes off and she'd look like a strong safety for the Pantha falcons no doubt about well her she got very strong shoulders that's what I'm saying she got big shoulders beautiful arms beautiful arms oh my gosh does that matter oh arms distract you from how much he hates white people who else yeah who else uh Rosie O'Donnell oh come on yeah you got to see that once

Megan McCain I'm all in Megan McCain Oh yeah what about your other girl Yeah Sarah Sarah's her face Sarah Suckabobahby I just gotta call her dad

And be like yo What's up And she'd be looking on her You're like Are you looking at me? You can't tell Yeah She should wear a patch

Like that Crenshaw guy does Crenshaw's even got an eye That goes in And he still wears the patch Why don't he does He does we're talking about On the early show He has a patch not

But there's no strap on it Yeah he's got just Oh yeah He's just a magnet. Yeah, it's just a sticky patch. It's like the kid patch. My son used to have to wear a patch

because he had a lazy eye. And he actually has an eyeball. And, uh, but it just sticks on the skull. Just like, you know, when you go to Congress, you get all the custom fit of stuff.

World class, yeah. Yeah, you have to be. Looks good. But he's got, he's got the eyeball. Put it in, dude. It has an eyeball with like the Navy seal. Like,

well, I'm sure that he could be able to get another eyeball. You could have a couple of them. Use the Navy seal as, you know, when he dresses up. And the other one with what? In other words, just day to day. Like a normal eyeball? Yeah, just day to day.

Yeah, just day to day. So when he's looking over here, the other eyes looking straight up? No, it's not a lazy eye. No, but he can't move. If he's a fake eyeball, it can't move with the other eye. So no matter where he's looking, the freaking eye, he's going to just look forward. So when he says, pick that up, like four or five people. Everybody's like, what am I picking up?

Also, we have the Pentagon. This is actually kind of cool. according to the Pentagon, everyone's heart is different. It's like a fingerprint or an eyeball, an iris. So you have a unique cardiac signature. And they can tell us apart from our cardiac signature. Well, yeah, you had a heart attack, so. So the new device developed, right, I know.

Yeah, you hardly will always not be the same as me as Nick. Me and Nick are healthy. A new device developed for the Pentagon after the U.S. Special Forces requested that can identify people without seeing their face. instead of detects their unique cardiac signature with the infrared laser. That's kind of cool. And maybe a little scary at the same time.

But this only works like a couple hundred yards away. Big deal. Well, we want to work even more. Then you have the move like Big Hero 6. But the TSA isn't going to do this. Now you're going through and they're going to give you a cold stethoscope on you. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. How about the fetus? Is this a six-week-old fetid? Oh, yeah. Did they have harpy? No. No, they do not. They do not.

No, they do not. They do not. They do not. Exactly. Yeah, no. You know, if you're a, if you're a fetus, you don't count. You don't count until maybe six months to a year after you're born. I said that.

I go, boarding nine months old. I go, what's the cutoff day? The kids are going to be looking over their shoulders at the senior prom? Absolutely. And they believe that, right? Even the one guy, the professor from Colorado, he was a big believer in up to like a six to eight years old. He was a big believer in saying, Isn't that just murder?

No, it's not murder because you're not, you're not a viable human being. And you don't really think about anything about contributing to life or what you're doing or what you're, what you're having to do. So he thinks, you know, get rid of them if you want. Come on, Nick, let a rip. I see you're shaking your head. It's not me. You let a rip. I was thinking, I'm not, look, I'm not, I'm a right wing, but I'm not like pro life because I'd be a hypocrite.

When I was young, I got a few girls pregnant. and I was happy there was a place to go. And, you know, but I mean, come on, nine months, you know, you're aborting babies that survived. That's not fair. They survived. They won the fight. That's like us waiting at the food court at Kennedy Airport and shooting out our soldiers

when they get back from Afghanistan. It's true. That's a great. Exactly what that is. Right. That's exactly what that is. And I said, and I totally disagree with if a woman is raped that she has to have the baby because, I mean, that kid is going to be a reminder for the rest of her life of her worst moment in her life.

That's like me, you know, me getting a tattoo of me and my wife on our wedding day. That's a reminder of the worst day of your life? She didn't leave you a note saying, hey, get the tattoo before the wedding. Yeah, exactly. So I thought you were saying how happy you were. What a wonderful thing it was. Do you have those sea turtle stories? Because I need to.

Oh, boy, keep me riveted. I got to get out of here. I need to get his opinion about the sea turtles. Yeah, delicious with garlic and lemon. Thank you. Thank you. That's all you need. You know, Chris is a big animal lover.

I am. I am. This Florida woman get arrested because she went, just decided to just go stomped into some sea turtles nest and just decided just to, you know what the hell. I'm going to smack the little baby sea turtles. Yeah, she should be smacked. Who was it? Kamala Harris? Who was it?

We want to know. Pelosi. Yeah, queen Lou. Oh, yeah, yeah, Queen Lou. Man, she is. Is that one word? Is she a queen named Lou? No, yeah, Quinn Lou.

Yeah, Queen Lou. Yeah. Or like how they found a dead... It's a cream that you have to rub on. They found a dead sea turtle with a spear through his head. Yeah. Wow. In Florida, too.

Yeah, I mean, Florida... And you want me to move there. Are you a sea turtle? Oh, and that's some... When I'm hung over, I have the same posture as a sea. I move like a sea turtle. have sea turtle, you know, pets that you'll be careful with. I don't want to live around people that kill sea turtles, is my point.

No kidding. I don't necessarily want to do that either. But they won't. She'll be in jail and you'll be fine. So I'm going to leave you with one story. I know you got to go. I know you got to do your big show or whatever it is in some small club where it is in Texas somewhere. I'm thinking of going.

Better leave now. And I just paycheck right with you. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's not going to happen. Wow, you wouldn't take them? You drive? That means you like your cars, your time.

Exactly. It's quiet time, man. I know. I'll drive you. I know. I live, it takes me about 40 minutes to get here. And everybody, you live so far away, I would move even farther away. Man, that time in the car is good time.

Yeah, it is. That's your time. When we, when I lived in, up in Northeast and we worked in Manhattan every day in and out, and I lived in Pennsylvania, I took the train in and out of the city every day. And that hour to an hour and a half train ride, well, there and back. But, man, that's your time. That's right. Headphones on.

I know you're in a tube with a lot of other people, but you're still, that's your time, man. And this is my time. You're going to get that a last story, Jeffrey? Wow. Yeah. I just want to leave you with research showing that. And this will probably change tomorrow. Yeah.

But chocolate cake for breakfast is good for the brain and the waistline. Yeah. So. That and working one day a week and it looked like you. And that right there alone. I mean, you look like me. I mean, you are welcome, my friend. You are welcome.

Jeff looks like the notification bell on a YouTube. That was a compliment. He doesn't even know what that is. Do you know what that is? What do you have to go? I'm trying to get kicked off the show and I did it. It worked. It worked.

Thanks, Dick. Where are you at tonight? going on nickdip.com. Nick Dip.com, the Beltonian Theater in Belton, Texas. Yeah, baby. And I'm going to be leaving very soon. You guys just scared the shit out of me. Sooner than you think.

Yes. I'm going to be hanging out in an Arby's parking lot two hours before the show in Belton. Oh, you know, did you see where Arby's has got the new, the carrot meats? The meats that looks like a carrot. So when you go to Arby's, you can check it out. It's made of turkey. It's just explained my private parts. Well, I mean, maybe that's why the wife wants you on the road.

Just saying. I know she tells you, oh, I love it when you're home, but... Did you see the lineup for the theater today? I'm doing more research on the theater today. So at 3.30, they're showing stage coach from 1939. And then that's 730s. Nick DePaul. Perfect.

So stage coach four hours long? It's a great movie. I guess it is. So the stage coach is... John Wang. Yeah? Yeah, it's a great movie. Actually, it's a good lead-in to my thing.

That is a good leading. Yeah. Plus, you saw the Playboy interview with John. Yes. Yes, he said to let it fly to you. Yeah, he did. And now they're judging him on today's standards. I know.

It's ridiculous. It really is ridiculous. They have lost their minds. Yes, they have. And let's end it right there because they most definitely have lost their mind. Thank you so much for having me. It was great to be. Seriously.

As you know, by listening to this podcast, the numbers for Ebola are climbing. And it's starting to be maybe a little concerning. Jacob Joseph from Ebola Outbreakmap.com has some new updates. For you, the Chewing the Fat listener. In Kenya, Africa, they have two new Ebola patients. They're bleeding from the eyes, mouth, and nose. And we posted that new story on our site. We got the link to that.

and it's in Kenya. So where are we at now with the virus? I mean, I thought at one point we were doing pretty good, and then now we've got more and more breakouts happening, right? Yeah, we've got a whole lot more. It's not really under control. What I've been researching is, when people get Ebola, they don't get treatment,

so they die, and then they bury them, and then more people get infected with it. And now that it's in Kenya, it's really gotten out to the point, Uganda, Kenya, and Congo. So there's three countries with Ebola now. And now we got Kentucky. The state of Kentucky actually issued a warning to the residents of Kentucky.

They're monitoring migrants in Kentucky for Ebola virus. It's ongoing, I guess, receding more migrants every month in Kentucky. And we got that situation in Kentucky. And we got a situation in Ohio where they're dealing Ebola virus study for a vaccine against Ebola virus in Ohio. Cincinnati, Ohio, Children's Hospital or doing a seven-month study how effective this Ebola virus

vaccine is on people there in Ohio. So what has become of the, no, let me rephrase, why has it started to spread again? I read a story somewhere and I don't know, I don't remember where it might even have been

your site. But I read a story somewhere where it talked about how it used to go from the country into the city, but now it's going from the city to the country, which they don't know how it's making it spread faster. Is that right? Am I saying that right? You're saying it right. It's spreading faster.

The research that I'm doing, I said spreading a lot faster inside the cities. So apparently they're not getting treatment for their disease. And one fellow in Africa, he refused treatment. They said, you need some treatment. He said, no, I don't need my treatment. He ran away. He said he was an Ebola survivor, but his Ebola was still testing in his bodily fluids.

So he said, I ain't going to get any more treatment. I'm just going to go to this big, huge metropolis in Congo here. And so what I have Ebola and my bodily fluids, it's okay. I don't need treatment. And if he's going to go to have, if he's going to intimate encounters, you know, he's going to spread the Ebola virus there. All right. So tell us again what your website is and what your name is. and then people can go there and find out the information, Joe.

It's the Ebola Outbreakmap.com. And what we do is keep track of news about Ebola. Anything about Ebola we put on the site. We had any emails we get we put on there with people's permission, news stories. We always link and cite them and sort them. And so by the way, they're confirmed. If it's not confirmed, we'll tell you that we just have a report. If they're not confirmed, we'll always reach, put it on there.

And the website is Ebola outbreak map, MAP, MAP.com. We're under the Twitter suspended. We were talking about migrants with possible Ebola, and Twitter actually suspended our account. So if you go on Twitter, everybody about what's going on, they don't want the message to get out. We sent an email to the CEO of Twitter, and he actually blocked our email address.

We couldn't write to him again. But we have a lot of social media ban, and nobody wants to talk about here about this on the social media platform. So we need help. If you can, any news, please send out email addresses, support at Ebola outbreak mAP.com. So support at Ebola outbreak map.com. And that's our email address.

Just contact us. And if you have any information or help at all, just send us any more reports. And just keep in Kentucky too. That's really amazing. Kentucky is actually monitoring migrants for Ebola virus. And that's not making news either. Away from eyes that bleed Don't lick vomit off the street

And I know you don't want to die So slowly back away from that infected guy Stay an Ebola free Stay an Ebola free Don't eat that raw meat and see will all be Ebola free Keep away from those

sweaty sheets Keep away from discharge That secrete sand If you want to call me your fear Put down that glass of diarrhea Stay an Ebola

free Stay an Ebola free Don't touch others poop and pee And we'll be Ebola free Just wash your hands and you will see We can be Ebola free