Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 138 | Ants on a Plane, Jeffy's Dream Home & Gators Behaving Badly

Episode Date: July 1, 2019

Jeffy discusses the sequel to 'Snakes on a Plane' that nobody wanted to see, the Kennedy estate currently up for sale for a cool $65 Million, and some animal stories that you don't want to miss. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is going on? The CDC has issued a warning on crypto. What is crypto, you ask? Why, crypto is a fecal parasite that can be transmitted via swimming pools, via swimming pools. And it's on the rise. The parasite's full name is Cryptosuporidium. I should get the computer to pronounce that for you. but and it causes cryptosporidiosis.

I should get the computer to say that for you. As a matter of fact, that's what we're going to do. The parasite's full name is cryptosporidium. And it causes cryptosporidiosis. That's right. Thank you. It can leave healthy adults suffering from profuse, watery diarrhea for as long as three weeks and it could be worse on children, pregnant women,

and those with compromised immune systems. The number of treated recreational water-associated outbreaks caused by... Cryptosporidium. Drives the summer seasonal peak in both waterborne... Cryptosporidiosis. Outbreaks. And, of course...

Cryptosporidosis. Outbreaks overall. So, I mean, be careful out there. I don't know what's going on, but be careful out there. Welcome to it. What is to it? Chewing the Fat with yours truly. Jeff Fisher, thank you for coming along for the ride today.

Happy, happy, happy Monday. July 1st, 2019. Amazing, it's already in July. It just seemed like I was, it seemed like I was just in the hospital with a heart event. Now it's July 1st. Amazing. So where are we at it in the world?

world, you ask yourself. And I'm sure you ask yourself that. A man is accused of forging a police report to back up his bogus story that he used as an excuse to his boss. What? Okay, so the guy's late for work. And he gets into work and the boss says, hey, how come you're late? Got stopped by the police, man.

They gave me a warning about my expired car registration. It kept me there forever. I'm sorry. So the boss gets suspicious. Well, tell the boss to take a hike, first of all. I told you, all right? That's why I was late. Get over yourself, boss.

But no, the boss gets suspicious and says, hey, you got any proof of the, can I take a look at the warning? So the guy gets a warning and he writes it all up and shows the boss. and then the boss calls the police department I mean why do they just fire him the boss should have just fired him right then just said look you don't need to work here so the guy must not he and the boss are not

on good terms clearly so now the guy is charged with forgery because he forged the police report the police warning and since the boss called the police and said you know hey is this true what happened

and the police said no we don't have any record of that that's not real. Now he's being charged with forgery. Now this is in the United Kingdom. And it is possible. No, this story is not in the United. This story is in America. I'm even more angry now than ever.

I thought this was in the United Kingdom. This is in New Hampshire. Live free or die or whatever the hell their phrase is. You can't even tell your boss, lie to your boss with a piece of paper. you got a police warning? And now he's going to be charged with forgery? We have to follow the story.

I want to know what happens to this guy. Because if he goes to jail for this, it's un-American. It should be in the United Kingdom and not in America. That ticks me off. Honestly, I thought this was in the United Kingdom. Holy cow. I am really mad. Did we talk about the lady that, the new lady on an Air Canada flight,

that claimed she got left on the plane. I don't remember if we talked about it here. If I talked about it filling in for Pat. We did talk about it here, right? We already covered that. We talked about her getting caught because this one is she was handicapped. And they all said, hey, I'll be right back.

And they're coming to bring you your wheelchair and everybody left and there she sits. It's not funny. I'm not laughing. There she sits. And she's waiting for someone to bring her wheelchair. It doesn't. happen. And this lady claims I was scared because I have all these health issues. I didn't have a

cell phone to call for help. It was the scariest time of my life. Was it? Was it the scariest time of your life? You got, they left you on an airplane by accident and you know, you think you were going to be there forever? You think no one was ever going to come back on this plane ever again. No one is ever going to see me again? Really? Okay. I find that hard to believe. Now she sat there and this is, she sat there for an hour. Ouch. Was it out for an hour? I think not. No, no, it was not two outches. Do not play that out of out of outage again. It was not two outches. No way. At least the other lady who claimed to

be stuck on a plane was there for hours. It was dark, man. The plane was parked, stopped, dark. This lady was just, you know, an hour later, they said, oh crap, we got, made us worker come out of the plane. Oh, somebody forget you, I'll take care of it. And they take care of it. Wow.

That's a, times are tough for Air Canada. They're trying to make good at it, though. They're trying to make good at it. I know. I know, I know, I know. And then we have more airline news.

Passengers at Newark International Airport, which is a beautiful airport. I don't have you ever been to Newark, but it's gorgeous. It's another huge airport. I remember once going to Newark. the story

the first time we went to Israel I flew from Tampa to Newark I was meeting Glenn in Newark and then we were going to fly to Israel and this is before we were flying private we had to actually fly with you know on LL which is nice but it was

domestic. You know, regular flights and so I fly into Newark and I've got to go to the international terminal and I asked the lady, hey, where's the international terminal? And she says, well, it's the next one over. And I said, she goes, you know, you could just hop the train and go to the terminal, but the train is broken.

So you've got to go down this particular train that was right by where I was. She said, you've got to go down to the end of this terminal, hop on another train that takes you there. So I would have had to go out to the end of this terminal I was in and then ride that all the way through this terminal into the other. terminal, which I should have done, by the way. But no, I thought, you know what? I'll just walk.

Dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. I walked. I'm pulling, I'm pulling luggage. I've got equipment. And the terminal, it's not like, it's, you know, when they say, well, it's just the next terminal. It's just, and that's like saying, well, it's just the next city over. I ended up, when I got to the terminal, I'm sweating.

I'm refusing to trying to get out of this plane. That's all, I mean, that I could, that, that, I could, that, that, I could, that, whole story is at least a half hour long and I won't bore you with it. I'm just saying that Newark is an agonizing airport in my life. So in Newark, they're on a plane. They're getting ready to fly and a lady notices an ant crawl over her arm. And then she notices an ant crawl over her television screen. And then she notices another ant crawl over her television screen.

her pillow and she says she gets up and tells the crew excuse me uh excuse me i have a have a complaint uh a little problem with some smants and they said oh no problem we'll get with you please just hold your complaints until we get up in the air uh that's the whole point i don't want to be up in the air as we as we have uh ants on a plane okay so apparently uh a crew member eventually had her, leave her seat to wipe it down and found another ant in the window well and another passenger

asked the crew to check the overhead bins. And as they were checking the overhead bins, ants were running everywhere, as ants do. And one crew member asked, should I take the passenger statement? If they had a protocol for insects on the plane, to which a crew,

they never happened before. We don't know, we don't know what happened. So they called an exterminator and they notified the customs and agriculture personnel. But apparently there was some carry-out bags up in there that was full of ants. And as they moved the carry-ons, it just spewed ants all over. Ouch. Oh, man.

I don't know if you've ever had an ant problem, but it's not fun. It's not fun at all. And I can tell you, and I'm not talking about an ant. ant problem on your body, but just an ant problem in your home. I had one of those. Only lasted about two years. Christian Bustler, joining us on the podcast today. First of July, welcome.

Glad to be here, Jeffrey. When I first moved to Florida, Florida is, I usually don't talk about it, but I used to live in Florida. If you didn't know, if you don't know, Florida is a peninsula. and it is doesn't sink because ants keep it afloat. I don't know if you know that about Florida,

but that's how it stays afloat ants. There is ants, there are ants everywhere. The only way you win the battle of ants in Florida is you keep them out of where you live. There can be everywhere else, man, but you just put a barrier around where you are, where your dwelling is and you're, that's fine.

you're good with it. You're good with it. Ants and roaches. Palmetto bugs in Florida, man. Just create a barrier. Create a barrier. But I've never had ants on a plane. So apparently this person was,

I don't think the person on the plane knew that the bag was full of ants. But you have a feeling that I don't know if they were trying to smuggle ants, trying to take ants away. Not sure it was a flight from then. to New York and I'm not real sure they never specified

what illegal activity was taking place with these ants running all over the place on this plane but I'm glad it wasn't me of this plane. And as long as we're on trouble with mass transit or planes and trains

and automobiles a train in Nevada carrying grenades and bombs derailed. I don't know how the heck that happens out in the desert of Nevada, but it does. A public safety alert from the Elko City and County Public Safety Department.

I think Elko City is beautiful this time of year. So the train derailed about 10, 20 a.m. On Wednesday, last Wednesday, 22 cars derailed in the incident, and no hazardous materials were involved and no one was injured. the only material spilled was vegetable oil. Now the cars that were carrying bombs, ammonium nitrate, and grenades, they were located at the other end of the train.

There's nothing to worry about, duh. Don't worry about it. Now, the people who got there first said everything was covered in this white kind of dust everywhere. And they were told, don't worry about it. This white powdery substance,

you know, it's a little bit of oxide. That only causes, that only causes some kind of brain damage. Thank you. Thank you. Speaking of Walking Dead, don't forget fear the Walking Dead was up today. We do that each Monday, myself, Jason Butchell and my son Maximus, do Fear of the Walking Dead podcast every Monday.

You can listen or not listen, but it's up under the Chewing the Fat headline. So if you subscribe to Chewing the Fat, you're getting two alerts today. You're getting the Fear alert and you're getting the chewing alert. Now I'd prefer it if you downloaded Fear. Then you don't have to listen to it, but just download it anyway. Well, you don't have to. I know if you don't like the show or you don't want to, or you don't want to, have us spoil it for you.

I get it. No, listen. You know, I just, I do it because I like the show and we have fun with it. So, you know, A, you're welcome. And B, okay, you know, I'm a little sorry. All right, but not much. All right, let's go to the break room. I need a Coca-Cola zero desperately.

Oh, my. gosh. So good. So good. Hey, thanks to all the people that came to the museum this weekend. Had a great time meeting you. It was fun going through the tour. I was here Saturday and Sunday.

Met a lot of you. It was very nice of you to come. It was great. There's still time for you to catch the museum. The fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh. the museum will be back open it's dark for you because you can't get in to see it

but all the I mean it's really cool still everything is all up here at the studios it's really cool walking through it again every day because now it's up you know for the past two or three weeks they've been busy building it and now it's built and it's up and everything's there

it's really cool and there's some really really great sites and I have Facebook live the beginning this weekend as you go into the replica of the slave ship. It's one of my favorite parts. I know it's a slave ship. I know, and it's the whole thing,

but it's one of my favorite parts of the museum. There's a couple other really cool parts. And then on July, a couple other cool parts. The rest of it's garbage. There's the beginning. There's a couple other, and then the rest of it just, just walk through those areas fast.

And then on July 4th, the museum's going to be open, and we're having it. little party that you can come to a 4th of July party at the Texican restaurant in Irving. So come and have a hamburger, hot dog. If you think I'm not going to be there for some kind of barbecue going on on the 4th of July, you are sadly mistaken, my friend, sadly. So come and watch the fireworks.

Irving usually puts on a really good fireworks show. It'll be fun. You can hang out at the hotel. It's been a while since I've been to an actual, you know, Fourth of July party like that. we used to have them every year for forever. Heck, I couldn't remember one of the first times we had a Fourth of July party in St. Petersburg, Glenn and myself and still we were doing the afternoon show.

970 WFLA, news radio, 970 WFLA, the mothership, the flagship. Anyway, we had a big barbecue and get together down on the beach St. Petersburg, whether we were right underneath the fireworks, it was spectacular. So come join us on July 4th. Go to Mercury1.org. Get your tickets for the museum. You probably can, I haven't looked today, but you probably can get your tickets to the 4th of July event so you can come and have some barbecue and watch the fireworks with us as well. So Mercury 1.org.

Sometimes it's difficult to decide whether you want to move. I'm thinking about moving. I'm pretty close to moving out of the house that I'm in now. I, you know, a part of the roof is gone and that's being fixed. And we've been going back and forth. And you know the whole story there. But one of the things that happened was that, and I talked about it in the story, is the tree out front broke off, you know, and ended up in the neighbors.

So all this left out there is the stump in front of my house. I hate my house without that tree in front. It's facing west. So this afternoon sun blast the front of my house. and without that tree there it blasts the front of my house it doesn't blast the tree it blast the front of my house

it turns my doorknob to my front door into a burning I've got a tattoo on the inner part of my hand now there's just my doorknob you could you write your own jokes with that and I was just agonizing

so I'm thinking it's time to move and then I see it was almost like a sign from above Jackie Kennedy's Martha's Vineyard's estate is for sale. And I think, I mean, okay. All right, fine. And you figure they're going to want a couple bucks for that.

They're lying. It goes to open a couple of those bad boys. $65 million. Ouch. The famed Kennedy compound. Might be in Hyannisport, but the mainland of Cape Cod for the last 40 years has had the more discreet Kennedy estate, Martha's Vineyard, originally purchased by Jackie Kennedy at

1979. 340 acre estate, slowly renovating buildings, improving the land. Now Carolyn Kennedy is listing the Red Gate Farm Compound for $65 million. Why does Carol want to sell that, man? I don't want to keep that in the family. She must she spend the rest of the money? Can't keep it up. It looks beautiful.

340 acres up there. Oh, my gosh. Just gorgeous. And the good thing about those kind of places is it doesn't cost much to keep them up. You spend the $65 million, you're done. I don't have to worry about keeping up the upkeep of 340 acres. And the upkeep of the homes and the houses and the guest houses and the garages and all the equipment that you need to keep it going. I mean, you have a full staff of just yard people.

And then you may or may not have a full staff. of house people, but, I mean, you need at least one or two house people. I mean, you can't, how could you survive without at least one or two house people? I mean, that's, that's just,

it's just silly. Good news if you wanted to go to school, though, and you can't decide what you want to, what you want to go to school as. And those you that still want to go to college, silly, go ahead. But in Australia and university, now is offering a PhD scholarship

in heavy metal. Nice. I like it. The University of Newcastle in Australia has announced a scholarship for a PhD student to study heavy metal geographies. Yeah.

Think about it. The scholarship is worth about, you know, well, 27,596 Australian dollars. 15,256 EU dollars. It doesn't say American dollars. Apparently they don't want any Americans coming to Australia to study

heavy metal geography. What? The social geography of the heavy metal culture? The scholarship is open to two domestic and one international students. So you could get one. We could get one, but they're literally looking for someone two from Australia

and one from the United Kingdom with the way this story is written. So good luck. Good luck and God bless. I hope you make it out. If you saw this weekend, I think it was this weekend, that they had the big Glastonbury Music Festival in England, and Janet Jackson showed up.

And the reports about Janet Jackson is that what she was, I don't know, what's the words I'm looking for, completely unrecognizable. It looked like she had a little bit of work done. And by a little bit of work, a whole bunch of work. so if you're looking to yourself I didn't go to TMZ to see if there was any real shots of Janet

walking down the streets but it appears that she's undergone a significant transformation it's a much smaller nose her nasal she's been reduced she's got the face or the forehead and around her eyes but I guess the performance was great

but some of the people who pointed out on social media were dubbing her plastic princess Ouch. One of the sections was labeled Freaky New Face and they speculated that Janet would be following

in the footsteps of a brother Michael. So let's hope not. Let's hope not. We don't need that happen. And of course, Kali, Kali Minogue, Kali Minok. Kali Minnok.

Kali Minnok. I think it's Kali Minogue. Kali Minogue. That's what I said. That's exactly how I pronounced it. I don't know why I was so concerned. It's exactly how I pronounced it. She had put on a great show and was good to be back there

And after her cancer scare And did a great show at the Glastonbury performance. There was also, as long as we're on music news, They made this big deal about the heart doc Or the cardiologist That has to be on call and, you know, backstage during the Stones tour. Of course. I mean, Mick just had surgery.

He's fighting back like a. champ he's a you know he's a hundred years old was like 75 or 76 now he just had heart surgery but he's in great shape but insurance reasons and everything else man he's on stage singing around bouncing around for three hours um you know they're going to have uh they're going to have doctors there the insurance is like you know um the shows are at these particular uh event and you're going to go ahead and just be there if something happens we want you on site We don't want the ambulance, and we want all the things that you would need to fix the problem, but you need to be there as well.

We don't want to look around for you. We don't want you stuck in traffic. We don't want you coming across town. We want you there. I don't see why that's such a big deal. But apparently it is. And I will leave you with, I was all fired up because in Norway, they had a town and area that their island was going. going to become the first time-free zone.

And I thought, it's kind of weird to think that. But there's a part of the year where it's dark, and then they're in this time of year now where it's light 24, like 24-7. But if they were time-free zone, you wouldn't be able to say 24-7. It would just be light. It's just light now.

And so I didn't quite know how that was going to work, but it was just a silly publicity stunt. heard the news stories about it. They've got to be time free zone and they voted on it. It was just the city going, hey, look over here at us. We're going to be a time free zone. Not really. And why don't you come here and visit?

Because it's Norway and we really want tourists and we want you to come here and remember us and know about us. And we really are going to be a time free zone. Not really. All right. I can't get over the Onassis property on Nantucket. All right. I just can't get over it.

I know I got it. You know, it's a huge, it's a huge piece of property. 340 acre estate. They want 65 million for it. And they'll probably get it. But the property, the ground floor has a variety of recreation areas. The listing uses at least four euphonisms for seating area, drawing room, family room, den, library, and living room.

Plus a formal dining room, chef's kitchen. There are four insuade bedroom. upstairs and a smaller bedroom downstairs that Christy's politely suggest would be ideal for guests or staff. Views from the house are expansive from most of the windows that can look across the Squibnocket pond to the thin

strip of sand that separates it from the Atlantic Ocean. Nearby is the two-story guest house that has another four bedrooms, three-bass living room and kitchen. The grounds include a tennis court, pool, two ponds, a three-bedroom caretakers cottage, a barn, two garages, the property's original home,

hunting cabin and a boat house. The listing also knows that there is a fairy tree house, which Onassis commissioned for her grandchildren. I love this place I wanted. If someone could just buy it for me, it'd be nice of you. I would appreciate it more than you know. I love the idea that it isn't,

Onassis had the caretaker build the fairy princess tree house. No, Onesis had that commission for her grandchildren. And they only have one caretaker house. I mean, the rest of the staff is part-time. They're not staying on the property. The caretaker stays on property 24-7, 365, and he makes sure everything runs right.

But the rest of the crews that come in to take care of stuff, he oversees that. I don't want to be bothered with that in the main house. I'll come and visit you. Once a week, we'll go over what needs to be done, what hasn't happened, what's going to happen, how you're dealing with it, and then I'm going to leave your little caretakers cottage

and go back up to the main house, but I don't want to be bothered with anything else. And make sure, I'm not freaking kidding either, you make sure those people coming in to trim the trees and stuff, use that back gate. I don't want them coming through the front gate. All right, so I'm amazed at how many whale stories I'm getting in my feed now. And go ahead and make your fat jokes.

I got it. Ha, ha, ha. But the last couple days, I'm like, Why am I seeing all these whale stories? I mean, I see the story of the mysterious ball that appeared in the ocean. Fishermen have had an unexpected encounter off the coast of Australia. A gigantic spherical object was floating on the water. Only later did the fisherman realize how dangerous the situation was.

The unknown floating object. They didn't know what it was. At first they thought it was a boat that must have capsized or a hot air balloon crash. as they came closer. They realized. What was floating in the water was not a man-made construction

but an organic object. It became clear. The ball was in fact the carcass of a humpback whale. Gases had formed inside the carcass during its decomposition, calling it to float to the surface.

The danger was, that bad boy is going to explode pretty freaking soon. You do not want to be right there when that thing explodes. I'll tell you that. We'll talk about an explosion of nastiness. That's going to be it. That's what it is.

It's an explosion of nastiness. So then I see the story. Then I see another story. Another story like right to boom boom. Like boboombo. Holland America cruise ships close contact with humpback whales under investigation. I mean, ships have got to come. I got to see whales all the time, right?

So apparently this cruise liner is under investigation by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association after the vessel may have made contact. May, may have made contact with a pot of humpback whales off the coast of Alaska. Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. Right, they're just floating around in the water. They're already guilty.

So apparently, there's video that says that they came right up next to the whales. And if you don't know it, there's law. for these cruise ships. Like they're supposed to like, oh, there's a pot of whales. Slow down. Go get far away from them.

Get out of what you're doing. Do not get by the whales. I mean, amazing, right? So there's guidelines to avoid excessive speed, sudden changes, direction. Whales, dolphins, and porpoises. I got to worry about all of that. Plus keeping the happy shippers are happy.

So, the Alaska, they're under investigation and the captain is like, oh, you know, the video is a bad angle, and you could see the pot of whales, but we are exactly what we did what we were supposed to do when we slowed down and you can see on the video that we did exactly like we were supposed to do. I did see the whales, and I knew exactly what was going on,

and I had everything under control. So, so I, again, I'm like, why am I seeing all these stupid whale stories? in my feet. I'm like, what's going on? And then, and then I see this. Under the heading, Breaking News. Boy, you can tell. I mean, Christian is just, it's just, you want to sound or happy, man. Breaking news. Tonight, whaling ships leave Japan for first commercial hunting decades. That's all it is. They're pissed. The activists are pissed. that the Japanese are hunting whales again.

So they're going to make it known how beautiful whales are. And gosh darn it, we can't have Japan hunting whales anymore. And so that's all it is. All it is. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not minding the whale stories because sadly you saw I read them. But it's amazing to me why I was seeing him. Just didn't make any sense why all of a sudden that was coming up.

And then, of course, of course, of course, it all makes sense now. You know, I love Gators. Big fan of Gators, love Gatorland in Florida. I actually saw a story this weekend that was talking about the great things about Orlando. And it was going on, I know, one of my nephews posted a story on his social media about good things about Orlando or something. or bad things about Orlando or whatever, because that's where he lives. And so I was going through it.

And yes, they mentioned Gator Land of the story. Big fan. Love it. Gator Land, they need to be mentioned at all times. Now, technically, they're not in Orlando. They're in Kissimmee. But they're right there on the Orlando Gissimi line. And a big fan. However, what happens in Florida sometimes is that

Gator is they're pretty big and strong. and you don't want to you don't want to piss them off so they found this they found this gator well actually let's back it up before they found the gator they found the body of a human

who had been partially eaten by a gator and was floating in a canal and in Polk County, Florida and then they found the gator and they've of course you know taken the gator and killed them You ain't lying.

I don't know if they used that many bullets, but they did end the life of the gator. And they found the hand in the foot inside the gator's stomach. And they knew that this was the correct gator. Now, what we don't know is if, you know, he fell in to the pond, the gator pulled him into the pond, or if someone actually ended him, his life another human being

ended his life tossed him into the pond and the gator was like this guy's already here might as well have a little dinner he's already did I don't like humans I don't like chasing him but the guy's floating here what am I going to do leave him alone

no I'm a gator so will that investigation is still continuing All right I'll leave you with this I told the story on Pat Unleashed this morning. And it's still weighing in my mind. So Friday, I get this email from the powers that be here at Blaze Media that it's come to our attention that some people at Blaze Media have received fake emails that have

spoofed or impersonated someone in a position of leadership. If you receive a suspicious email asking for money transfers, purchasing equipment, or some other unusual requests, purchasing gift cards, please reach out separately to confirm and also look at the email address on the header. the email to determine if it's an authentic email. And I thought, well, okay, whatever. I don't ever get any of these stupid things. And then I get an email, boop.

Hello. This is what the email would sound like if it spoke. Hello. Warmest greetings to you. I hope life has been good with you. And this email finds you well. I want to ask you about something I need help with. I need to get $300,

now in parentheses, $100 in three pieces. Amazon gift card for three church friends because today is their birthday, but I don't, but I won't be able to get it for them as I am in the middle of something. Will you be able to pick it up at any store around you?

When you get the cards, scratch them to get the pin, take a photo of the pin, attach the photo as a file, and mail it to me. Suggest a way you will like me to pay back on tomorrow morning. We'll check be fine. Kindly get back soon.

I'm just guessing this did not come from an English-speaking human at this building. No way. No way. I am, so, you know, of course I didn't open the email. I didn't respond, although I wanted too bad. I wanted to suggest a way you will like me to pay back on tomorrow morning. That's what I wanted to do. But I didn't.

And I was happy that they wished me warmest greetings to you. No one in this building has ever said warmest greetings to you, although I may start now. I hope life has been good with you. and this email finds you well. No one is sending an email with this company. Will you be able to pick up at a store around you at your local store? Just bad. So be on the lookout.

If you're at work at home or wherever emails are delivered to you, be on the lookout because you too could be getting emails asking you to pick up, gift cards in three pieces for church friends. And then they'll be able to figure out a way and you could suggest a way you will like them to pay back on tomorrow morning.