Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 149 | Let's Get a Blizz & A Dog, Who's John Lennon?, & Being a Paleoscatologist

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

In today's show we find out that Jeffy loves to get blizz and a dog. Then Kris Cruz doesn't know who is John Lennon. Finally we end with Viking poop Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, how are you? Welcome to chewing the fat with yours truly, Jeff Fisher. Nice to have you along for the ride today. You look great. I'm sure you spent most of your day thinking to yourself, should I have worn this shirt today? Should I have this dress make me look frumpy? No.

No, it doesn't. You look great. You look fantastic. today. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. There were plenty of social media posts over the weekend. My favorite came from Monica Lewinsky. She replied to a tweet from Adam Grant. Adam asked, what's the worst career advice you've ever received?

And he listed three that he received. One was don't waste time helping others. Two was drop 90% of your projects because you can only do one at a time. And the third one was don't write a book. Monica replied to his tweet, asking the question, what's the worst career advice you've ever received? An internship at the White House will be amazing on your resume. Wait, she doesn't even get a rim shot for that?

She replied, an intern ship, but I can't even speak now. there was no rim shot. I was screwed up. An internship at the White House will be amazing on your resume. A little late, but it was there. Sad, so this is sad. The whole damn thing is sad. Welcome to it.

Happy Prime Day. Today and tomorrow, yeah, two of the two-day parade of epic deals from Amazon Prime. You're listening, of course, on July 15th and 16th of 2019. You're listening on another day. It's not Prime Day. move on your life. You know, are you, I mean, prime memberships have gone up like seven to ten percent already this year.

So, I mean, that's huge for them. Now, I know they're already talking about, we talk about app fatigue, but they're already talking about HBO, starting to, you know, get a little concerned, people pulling the plug after Game of Thrones. I think that's doubtful. HBO is still creating some really good content. Euphoria. You have to watch it, I'm telling you.

Big little lies. Chernobyl. Those spookies? What was the Captain Jack We'll get you high tonight? What was the... Captain Jack will get you high tonight. What was the one that created the one with the first lesbian chick that was...

Oh my God. Oh, yes. Yes. Gentleman, yes, yes. Gentleman Jack? The gentleman Jack. Oh my gosh, that shut. This is the same thing.

After Jack will get you high tonight. What are you talking about? I actually was the one to tell you about that TV show. Yes. Actually, no, you weren't, but that's okay. Go ahead. Why do you do that? You know, I talked to you about the gentleman.

Just because you talked about it with me does not mean that you were the one that told me about the show or you were the, I wasn't watching it by the time you and I talked about it. You weren't the, yes. That's why we talked about it. Don't give yourself credit for these things that is not true. Are you Glenn Beck now? Oh, wait. Did I say that all that?

Oh, stop. Stop. Just a joke. Just a joke. All right. We can edit that out. I have a little concern for people, though. I didn't realize this was an issue.

But scientists in Canada are looking for men. suffering from chronic scrodle pain. Right? Now, I know that there are things that we deal with from time to time. We as males deal with from time to time that create pain in that area. That, you know, you say you, you know, at a time, sometimes in your life you end up having, using your thing too much on too many different. people. That's a problem.

That's called an SDI. That's a problem. But apparently, according to Dr. Ryan Flanagan, assistant professor of the director at the male infertility and sexual medicine research program at the University of British Columbia.

That is a long business card. Who does it? I'm sorry, so what's his title again? It's Dr. Ryan Flanagan, assistant professor and director of the male infertility and sexual medicine research program at the University of British Columbia. But he gets a flyer every time he

me somebody. He said in a statement that between 75 to 100 men complaining of scrodle pain have visited him in the past six months. Well, he's the assistant professor and director of the male infertility and sexual medicine research program at the University of British Columbia. If you were a person who had scroital pain, if you were suffering from scroital pain, that's where you would go, right? So it's not a surprise that as assistant professor and director of the male infertility and sexual medicine research program at the University of British Columbia, that men would come to him complaining about scruital pain. Ouch.

Right. You'd be saying more than ouch, bro. I mean, that's just the beginning. In many cases, it's very depilitating, you think? Before you go, have you ever been kicked on the down area or punched? Yes. I've played male sports before. It's happened.

Oh, by accident, though, not like, I'm talking about, like, you play, and then, you know, who can kick the hardest? Have you played that game? No, I grew up in America where we knew that we didn't need to do that. Okay, okay. I'm not sure how they played that thing in the islands. What we played in the islands is, you know, where it falls or loses. That's just dumb.

Is it? That's just dumb. How is that dumb? You're... I'm sorry you white privilege, okay, that you were raised in this ivory tower while I was playing, kick the nuts. That's just dumb. It is not dumb. It was fun.

It was fun. Yeah. Turn your mic off. Just seriously stop talking. It was fun. Don't knock until you try it. I'm just saying. Okay.

I promise I won't knock it anymore until I try it. You know, I wish I could be one of those guys that could just say, hey, let's play, kick me in the balls. What? Can we say that on TV?

Because I'm looking right at the camera that's not here. and so I'll be sure we can say that on TV. Yeah, they took them all out. Yeah. Thanks a surprise. So some men find their symptoms go away if they rest, stop wearing tight-fitting underwear.

Would you do that anyway? Yeah, boxers. That's your first course of action. Yeah, my own, they're too tight. Okay, let me get boxers. No, I mean, if you're having pain there. You go command, though. You do anything you can to stop that pay.

And you start taking relief factor. Whatever, yeah. I mean, others try physiotherapy, antidepressants, anti-inflammatories. I don't know what antidepressants have to do with it. Antidepressants, they kill your winky and it does not work anymore. Oh, there you go, yeah. So there you go, yeah. Medications that regulate neurons.

Okay. Surgery can involve spermatic cord blocks. Ouch. Yeah, big and time. Where anesthesia is administered to the area, the variochalectomy. The varia coloselectomy. Oh, we need the computer for this. Okay.

So, if you get spermatic cord blocks, where anesthesia is administered to the area, the where in large scrotal veins are removed or the Epidioxmectomy which sees the tube holding sperm removed and the

mesovacotomy to reverse a vasectomy ooh it's a tough one I mean any one of those does not sound fun does not sound like something you want to go through Ouch.

You aren't kidding. Ouch, man. If you were to get the... Veracus elect on me. Epidiochmectomy. Or the... Meso vasatomy. Ouch.

Multiple times. Ouch. Ouch. Now, chronic scrotal pain, if you're not aware, is characterized by constant or on and off pain in the area for at least three months. Which prevents a man. from going about his daily life. It is most common in men in their mid to late 30s and their 20s,

but teenagers and older people can also experience it. It's unclear why men of this age are affected, but he's got some new goo that he wants to try out on men. Ouch. He's hoping to ease the ouchiness with this new goo. So you can, I mean, is there a number in this story I have, is there a number? Oh, yeah, there's a number.

I have a website, just a website, email, and a number. Really? Yeah. So if you're someone that suffers from... Veracosillectomy. Or... Epidioxmectomy.

You think you need that, or you think you're going to need... Any of those. You can get a hold of Dr. Flanagan, who's the assistant professor and director of the male infertility and sexual medicine research program

at the University of British Columbia. 604-875-5675. 604-875-5675. or email j.m. at prostate center.com. Email j.m. at prostate cancer at prostate center.com. Or visit Vancouver ProstateCenter.com. Visit Vancouver ProstateCenter.com. Where you will likely reach an assistant to Dr. Ryan Flanagan, the assistant professor

and director of the male infertility and sexual medicine research program at the University of British Columbia. That's 604-875-5675. 604-875-5675. Ouch. If I Erica selected me. You do not want that, man. So I'm reading on Friday, I take my father-in-law to a doctor's appointment.

And so I guarantee you that no one, no one is talking. to the doctor about this particular story than me. So we go into the, we go into the, the room, you know, the, we didn't get that, no, please, no, we didn't do that. But we're sitting there, we're waiting for the doctor to come in. And I start reading the story about this piece

of fossilized Viking poop. So I'm reading about it, I'm like, what do you, we have this Viking poop? that's been so well preserved. So there's poop from Vikings. And this one, and in the story, one paleo-scatologist. Ooh, those are fun.

It's called it as precious as the crown jewels. And they've got the picture here of it. And? I mean, it's. And? But I was wondering, that we have, we have,

we have all kinds of people studying all kinds of stuff. What did you do in your life that at one point you said to yourself, I'm going to be a paleo-scatologist? I mean, you were scooping up horse poop. Now, we know that the human who deposited this now renowned seven-inch specimen had a diet of meat and bread. Unfortunately, for that poor long-dead soul,

they also had a handful of intestinal issues. the scat was scattered with whipworm and mowworm eggs, which would have caused stomach aches and other unfortunate gastrointestinal symptoms. Ouch. Yeah, you're in line. I don't know if you ever, I mean, you talk about... Me so vast out of me. You need more than that when you have the mowworm eggs and whipworms coming out, man.

And you're starting... So get this, though. In 2003, a visitor group dropped the specimen. It is nothing sacred anymore. It broke into three pieces. I hope that those people have been in prison since they dropped it. But now they've repaired it and they've got it back together. How?

They repaired it. They used poop glue, Viking poop glue. And they put it back together. And it's at the Jorovic Viking Center. I'm sorry? At the Jorovic Viking Center. I mean, who doesn't? go there, it's huge.

And first, how? And why? It was discovered in 1972. A huge find. And it really is a huge find, right? I mean, it's a great find. It's poop.

I'm sorry. It's Viking poop. Do we know that he's really Viking poop? Yeah. And it's that Johnny's poop that he left in the, you know, freezing, wherever they were. It was dated. How was it dated? Back to the 9th century when what's now York was

ruled by Norse warrior kings. Okay. So archaeologists have dated it. So that's the way it is. It's fossilized Viking poop. Don't, don't, don't doubt it, don't. Now the paleo-scatologist, I can't. Who's a paleo-scatologist?

I actually started looking at up, which is what made me start talking to the doctor about it. Are you talking about the doctor? I'm talking to the doc about a paleo-scatologist. You know what he was? and her assistant. I got them all laughing about Viking poop. But did he know what it was? She.

What a male. Oh my gosh. Never did I say a male dog. I said a doctor. And you just immediately. Yes. It's a male. Yeah.

It's a male. Wow. Stop. You are not welcome on this show for a few minutes. Just to think about the hatred that you just threw out on this. Mike. I can't. So I start looking up.

Who are the paleo-scale? scatologists, but there's none. Like they're all, it shows up under, so it never came up about the paleo-schatologist while I was in the doctor's office. And so I couldn't figure out for the life of me who these people were, but now apparently we do have,

I did a little bit more, a little bit more research on scatology, study of feces. and do I want to do I want to be to have a doctorate in that right now you have no idea what do you do what do you do do they do there I study I study feces oh okay well that's good talk nice meeting you take care but I love the fact that I actually will get back to the Viking group I just came I it's hard for me to believe that it was dropped in 2003 it's not that long ago right they had they found it in 72. They've got it on display. Now it's on display in a glass case and stuff. So did they just have it out?

It was just sitting there on a piece of plastic at the Viking Museum. Yep, there it is. Big old 7-inch piece of Viking poop. Go ahead, take a look at it. And some kid drops it? Oh, how bad do you feel then? All right, let's go to our crime section for the day, shall we? Jeffrey Epstein, in the news everywhere. all over. They're looking to get him in bail today. Bail looks like it's going to be postponed. They don't know what they're going to do for Jeffrey, but now we've got other accusers coming up. They're reporting on what they found in his safe.

What's he supposed to have in his safe? Oh, he had food recipes and he had grandma's knitted socks that she gave him when he was two years old. No. He had diamonds and cash and a passport. Although it was a fake passport. But don't worry about that. Of course.

I'm sorry? They had diamonds, they had some cash, you had a passport. It was fake. You know, just stuff like that. You keep saying something after a passport. It was fake. It was fake. It was just a fake passport.

And you don't have a problem with that. What is he supposed to have in the safe? A real passport? Well, they took the real ones. So you don't have no passports then? Well, he does have one. He had one in the safe. That was fake.

Look, the guys, look, we talked about it. Did we talk about it? I don't know if I remember if I talked about it on the air or not. But whatever the bail is is going to be paid. And I guarantee that anybody on his list in the black book is already ponied up cash. Get him out. There was a rumor over the weekend that someone flipped. And who's going to be? Is it going to be his lady, his girl? She wants to stay alive. So that doesn't surprise me. Right? I mean, she. And he can't go to Jill, he's not going to survive.

She's concerned about her life, her, his helper. And if they turn her, man, the world is upside down. Good luck. And I would be, man, I would be very careful about her. I'll be very careful if I'm him. I also read where he's a couple cells down from my main man El Chapo. What? Where they're keeping him.

That's what the story said. The story said he was. Joaquin, Chivaldo? He was three doors down from Joaquin. He was three doors down from Joaquin. Joaquin, Achiaardo Guzman Loera. That's what I said. He was three doors down from El Chapo.

So, you know, have fun. Jeff, have fun. Such a dirt bag. Well, as long as we're in crime, we're saying, I've got some great crime stories for you today. This particular crime story is you're going to feel sorry for the guy, but then you're going to think, oh, I mean, should he have done it? So a Philadelphia father chases down a carjacker.

Did you see the video? Police say the man's girlfriend stopped by a pizza parlor. He worked at, left her three young children and a seven-month-old, at a one-year-old and a five-year-old inside the running vehicle, which, why would you do that to begin with? Everybody does that. No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't.

While she was inside, 54-year-old man jumps in the car and speeds away. The woman's boyfriend, the father of two of the children. I'm sorry, but you say, father of two of the children, there's three in the car. He was the father of two of them. Doesn't say which two. Let's say which two.

The two youngest. The two youngest, you probably, yeah, it's the two youngest. All right, we'll go with that. It can't be the other way. Don't say it can't be. He can't be the other way. I'm sorry, but he cannot be the other way. Maybe the oldest and the youngest.

So you took a break? Yeah. The middle one, you know. You know what happens. Everybody does it. Yeah. So the car thief drove about half a block before he became stuck in traffic. The father pulls the thief from the car.

Come on, man. Who begins to attack him. Other bystanders join in. And kick in. Wow. You see the video? So, police, yes. Fascinating.

So when police arrived, they found the suspected thief bloodied and unconscious. Now, see, that's where you go, good. Ouch. He was more than ouch, right? More than ouch. Now, I mean, he's, maybe he was ouch then. But the prior, post-outch was, Life gone.

Yeah. No kidding. So now the man and the girlfriend are both taken into custody. Why not some of the other people that helped jumped in? I watched the press conference for this. The cop was saying, please turn yourself in. It's easier for you if you just come to us instead of us coming to you.

Because we have video and we know who you are. That sounds good. Oh, yeah, it sounded pretty good. But, Jeffrey, you're in that role. What do you do? Well, you can't get, you can't be a part of mob rule. You know, as the father, you got to do that. But the mob.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about the, I'm not talking about the father of the two kids. What do you do? You know, I go, I'm sorry, but I'm going until I can't know more. You got to trace them down. Now, I'm not, now personally, I'm not running. Well, then what do you do? I'll say, hey, catch up to that guy for me, with you?

You Uber to the guy? I'll be there in a second. I'll be there in a second, but I'm not going to run. What about the kids? Yeah, I'm not going to run. Anyway. But of course you have to, right? You're doing everything you can to save the lives of your children.

They better not charge the father. Now, the mob, in the other hand, I don't care about them. But the father, he did good. That's the father what's supposed to do. It's nature. It's absolute nature. Right. I mean, the car and the children,

never mind the car, but I mean, he's taking the vehicle with the children in it. You know, two of those are his. That we think they're his. Two of those we think are his. Well, didn't necessarily say they're his? That's what the story said. Oh, so now we're questioning that too? Oh, my gosh.

We're just questioning everything. So maybe one of those kids is his. Maybe none of them are his. She keeps telling him that those are your kids. Yes, he believes her. He loves her. So whatever the case is, he's paying for the kids. Anyway, we've all been there.

Anyway, the, uh, wait, what? Everybody. And no, they don't. Yes, they do. No, you know, Chris. No. They don't. You don't.

You just don't. Sorry. Okay, so this story is such a weird story about the baker. It's not really, you know, the baker who screwed up the birthday cake. The order was for the, uh, Buanna. She asked Atlanta Georgia bakery staff to decorate it with images of the Hawaiian princess. But they thought,

she said marijuana. And so she got a cake, said happy 21st birthday, Kensley, with a marijuana leaf. And my little pony, just kind of blowing out a little bit of smoke. Red eyes and a puff of smoke. It was not really funny, really funny, okay?

Really funny. So they go to pick up the cake and look at it And she says that's not what I ordered And they apologize and say oh sorry Can we get you another cake? And she says no no no it's fine And they love it The mom and the daughter love it

They have the birthday party They have the cake, they laugh about it, it's funny You know that they got the accident The accents that they had They got misrepresented They thought it was marijuana They took pictures of it. They posted on social media.

Funny. Right. Maybe because they all were. It's just a funny cake, man. It's got the pot leave for my little pony. So funny, dude. So the manager who originally, so the lady is working at dairy queen. The lady is working at dairy queen.

She gets the order and she asks the manager. You know, they want me to make this marijuana. a cake. Yeah, go ahead. So, I mean, you have to in today's world. Whatever, you know, really you have to, right? So she does. So the one manager, that manager, after the, it was a screw up, fires her. What? The customer wasn't upset. None of that. It was just, oh, you're fired. So the lady was all concerned because she's got two kids and she's, I mean, she's working a Dairy Queen for the love of Pete trying to make a living, trying to, you know,

tried to put food on her table for her kids. And she said she'd worked there for about a year. And the manager stood behind me why I pulled the images off the internet. She walked by as I decorated the cake. I boxed the cake up. She was the one who walked up in front of it. So that manager fires her. Okay.

And later, another manager, I guess the night manager or the day manager or the swing shift manager or how the hell ever dairy manager does it, calls her and says, yeah, no, you get your job back. We're not firing you. You get your job back. So I know that Georgia is an employment at Will State, which is a good thing in most cases. But she's got two daughters, nine and 14. She's not going to lose.

She doesn't can't lose her job. He's been working at Dairy Queen, which is why. She asked the stupid manager, should I make this? I mean, we're good, right? Yeah, we're good. No problem. That's what the customer wants. That's what the customer gets.

And the customer wasn't upset. The customer wasn't crying about anything. It wasn't anything terrible. It was just a common mistake. Common mistake. Well, okay. Uncommon mistake. An uncharacteristic mistake from Dairy Queen in Georgia.

Plus, it makes me want. to go to Dairy Queen now. Which is, you know, a good thing for Dairy Queen, I think. Right? You know, you just start doing this. We should probably just get kind of hungry. Or kind of the munchies. We ought to just head up to Dairy Queen.

Let's go to DQ, man. I could get, uh, I could use a DQ burger. Maybe a, maybe a, what's that thing? The blizzard? Yeah, I need a blizzard, bro. I need a blizzard. Let's go. Yeah, let's get it.

dog in a blizz, bro. All right, let's go to the break room. I need a Coca-Cola zero sugar as it is, man, it's Monday. You can't live without Coca-Cola zero sugar. I'll tell you that. Oh my gosh.

That is so good. Okay. So a couple things, as long as we're in the break room, Mountain Dew has apologized and they did it in such a great way. All right, so they screwed up. And how they screwed up is beyond I mean, you want to talk about the dumbing down of America or whoever does their marketing campaign,

uh, Mountain Dew certainly plays into that. So Mountain Dew, uh, tweets out, due United States, okay? And they've got, uh, they've got a, uh, picture of the United States in due colors. And each state is a different design. Okay. And it's due, united. states

empty and do and it's from their Twitter account and it says you know there it is now the upper peninsula of Michigan if you're if you if you know you won't know this Chris because you

you're probably the person who built this for Mountain Dew because you have no idea of where states are but the upper peninsula of Michigan is if you look take your hand like this there's Michigan and then it has the upper peninsula and the next state over is Wisconsin what the design of Mountain Dew did was give Wisconsin the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Okay. Is that wrong? Yes, it is. So the Upper Peninsula Twitter account, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan's Twitter account says, Dear at Mountain Dew, I am not Wisconsin. Fix this or send a free case to all my wrong. residents, your call America's Peninsula. Mountain Dew replies, hey, Upper Peninsula, we hear you, and we're sorry for misplacing

you on our due-nighted map. Give us a chance to write our wrong. Help us fill this special addition label by telling us all the things you love about the Upper Peninsula. Note to, then in parentheses it said, note to self. Located in. Michigan. That's fantastic. That is really, really good. They handled that really great. Now there's going to be a course Mountain Dew asked for the account to help them tell all the things that make the UP great. And, you know, you get the pasties and you get the pictured rocks and you get the Tequamon Falls, the Mackinac Bridge, the Sioux locks. And of course, of course, do you know what, Chris, do you know what you call people from the Upper Peninsula

of Michigan? Why? There you go. I hear them hollering behind you now. Uper's. Call them Uper's. You don't want to be a Uper. If you've ever met anybody

that's from Upper Peninsula, you know that they're from the Upper Peninsula. Man, it gets cold up there too, bro. No doubt about that. So the mistake across the, promotion involves an ongoing contest of rewards winners with a $100 prepaid gift card if they collect bottles of all 50 states.

So that'd be interesting if you have Mountain Dew bottle with the Wisconsin with the Upper Peninsula connected. Anyway, so Mountain Dew handled it great, even though they screwed up. It's because of people like you working in positions of marketing Chris Cruz that this kind of stuff happens. Is this because of the question I asked you earlier?

Yes, it is. And we're going to get to that momentarily. In fact, let's do that now, shall we? All right. So I want to tie this time. I'm going to tie what Chris Cruz asked me into this story. So over the weekend, amazing. And we talked about Paul McCartney performing here in Dallas, Fort Worth,

in Arlington at the Ranger Stadium. And I think we talked about it on Pat Unleashed. And how cool it was. I mean, McCartney's on tour. I mean, he's one of the last iconic individuals, you know, that can work. walk on stage now. I mean, he's from the Beatles, man, is Paul McCartney. So in L.A., Ringo Star, the other surviving member of the Beatles, shows up on stage with McCartney at the end

of the show. Nice. Huge. I mean, the crowd, the crowd went crazy. He was at Dodger Stadium. It was, you know, people went crazy. One tweet said, so tonight at the Paul McCartney show at Dodger Stadium, this happened, and there's, you know, Ringo Star. And Paul McCartney and Ringo star on stage together tonight, blown away. Ringo just turned 79. So Paul, I mean, it would have been so cool. You knew it had to happen. You do it had to happen.

It may happen again, too. You know, maybe the final show or something Ringo will show up and play a couple songs on drums with Paul. It'll be amazing. You all, Paul McCartney really brought out Ringo Star, the only other living beetle to play Sergeant Pepper and Helter Skelcher and Dodger State. I love my life.

And there's pictures of it. I mean, amazing, amazing night. That would have been fun to see. So as we're going through some of the stories we're going to talk about today on the show, there's a story about all this stuff that's being sold. You know, like there's one story that talks about Princess Diana's used workout shirt selling for $53,000. Come on, man.

Now, it's more for the charity that they're selling it for, but you're buying Princess Diana's workout shirt. Come on. Maybe the sweat still smells like her. But I don't know. It doesn't say. It doesn't say. But they talk about some other things that people are.

selling and it goes down a list of you can buy a Nirvana set list on a paper plate that sold for 22,000. Madonna's dress snagged 53,000. You could probably get her to give you a dress for less than 53,000. Anyway, Prince's guitar got 89,000. And there's, you know, in Olivia Newton-John's black leather duds from Greece. Bert Reynolds' automobile. Fonce's motorcycle and leather jacket from Happy Days.

Right. And, you know, we can get, there's stuff that also from John Lennon. And, I mean, you all know who John Lennon is. I don't. I ask who this John Lennon is because they're selling his tooth. Yeah, his tooth. And I need to know who this John Lennon is. His tooth.

Right. So he's dead. There's another member of a group that he was a part of that's dead. His name is George Harrison. Okay, George Harrison, John Lennon. The other two that are still living are Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. Oh, the Beatles. That's correct.

John Lennon was one of the Beatles. And I still don't believe that you asked me that with your serious voice. And if you were in this room with me, you would be just as amazed as I was. I couldn't believe that you're asking me this question that you don't know who the freak John Lange. Well, I did want to know because it sold for $31,000 and the dentist who bought it said, most people think it's a waste of money,

but it has his DNA and some people think there may be illegitimate children of Lenin at some point, I'll compare the DNA sequence for percentage of the states. I like the idea. That's kind of cute of getting the tooth. That's not the point of my story, though, is it? But, you know, he could have bought Shaquille Neal's tooth,

but he said, I spent too much money on the Lennon. My wife would have killed me if I bought Shaquille's Tooth. Now, if you bought Shaquette Neal's Tooth, I could tell you who I know who Shaquil Neal is. You know, he's a basketball player. Former, retired. He wants your basketball player, you're a basketball player for your whole life. Former retired.

But no, I'm not afraid to say that didn't know who John Lennon was. By the way, it says John Lennon's molar, and his decay has a hole, as a big old cavity in the back. Very disgusting. In other news, which I don't believe is true. This story cannot be true. It's just a cute little story. For some reason, I'm sure that it's on paper.

I'm sure that it's all everybody says is true, but I don't believe it actually happened. In St. Louis, on the 11th of July, just four days ago, if you're listening live, If you're listening live to this podcast, chewing the fat. Not possible because it's pre-recorded. No, but I mean, you're listening live. Nope. If you're listening live on the 15th of July 2019, a baby was born on the 7th of July, 7-Eleven,

weighing 7-Eouncees at 7-Eleven. Come on, man. No. The only thing that would make this story even better is if they, named it slurpy or Savine Levin uh you know something something like that

Oh they named 711? Yeah well Sevinna Levin They will pronounce it different Only spell it 711 A little 7. Come here, get over here But they named it Jamin Brown Jamee Brown

Come on now Tell me that. It needs the opportunity. Right. Thank you. If you got the triphecta. You could have that kid free slurpees for the rest of your life.

If you have the trifecta, you got it. Born at 7.11. Weighing seven pounds and 11. Come on. You have to name him 7. You have to. 711.

That's the kid's name. 711. And then 711 Brown. 711. 711 Brown. First name 7. Middle name 11. Last name Brown or whatever last name you want to use.

You have to do that. They completely miss it. vote. Why is this such a big story that I see all the time that Starbucks is not selling, you know, we're, stop telling newspapers at Starbucks. Stop selling the newspapers at Starbucks. Nobody was buying them. That's why they stopped selling them.

Speak for yourself. That's right. Nobody was buying them. That's the hell. Yeah, my coffee latte. I noticed that's not in their story. They stopped selling newspapers, really. They stopped selling them a long time.

because nobody was buying them. They were just allowing them to show up every day in the building. They're just taking up space now. Collected dust. And I'm sorry, they were too expensive to buy. They're like five bucks per edition. That's a lot of money. Seriously?

Yeah. Really? Yes. They were like expensive. I'm sorry, what happens to be? The Starbucks newspaper? What was it? Like the New York Times or?

Yeah. USA Today or something? USA Today. New York, all the times, like the Washington or stuff. September 7th, New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, or the USA Today. Okay, all right, I got you. They were expensive. What happened to the $25?

And the $1.25. That's it. Well, most of the papers are about a buck a day, right? That's what I'm saying, yeah. And the Sunday edition, fine. I'll give you the Sunday edition because I used to work for the paper company in Puerto Rico, the newspaper company. Fine.

I get it. Okay, stop for just a moment. Pause for just one moment, please. Yes, I used to work for a new day. and La Prima Oroda. Most people who deliver newspapers don't consider themselves working for the newspaper,

but, you know, if you consider... I did. I did. I worked for a newspaper company. It's because you rode your bike around the island and tossed newspapers on people's porches.

Doesn't count it. I was selling newspapers. I was a boy in the corner selling the newspaper. Oh, so you were out of hawking on the corner. Yes. I was working for the newspaper. And what you did that.

Give me the holler. The holler? The holler. Give me the pitch for selling newspapers. It depends on the high lines. Huh? It depends on the house. under headlines.

All right, John Lennon died. It's in Spanish. I can't. What? I will say in Spanish. Let's have it. Give me your pitch. You put me in the spot.

Give me your pitch. If you can't give me your pitch, you're lying to me. You keep him in this spot. You're lying to me. If you can't give me a pitch for a newspaper that you were trying to sell on a street corner, that you were telling us you worked for, if you can't. You can't do that. You're out lying to us.

I was a new day, and then at la Prima hour. Actually, the first hour, I was focused more on the models, like when Puerto Rico was big for their newspaper. Okay. Give me your pitch. I got to think of a model. Hold on.

You're a kid on the corner trying to sell a newspaper. I can't do you remember my spot. That's because it's a lie. We're moving on. All right. Before we leave the break room, congratulations are in order, though, for an Iowa woman who set a new world record.

Congratulations to. Jennifer Smith. She is the new world record holder for the heaviest female to complete the marathon. Congratulations. No, applause.

What are you talking about? There's no stunning headlines sound for, I mean, there's congratulations. Jennifer Smith weighs 346 pounds. No, don't be laughing at her. Don't fat shame her. She's congratulations or an order. 346 pounds.

Broke. Seriously, don't, you're going to piss me off laughing at her like that. Don't do it. They're fat-shaving people, man. So the previous world record holder was held by, I mean, anorexic 288-pound woman. Would you stop with the laughing on the fat chick? She set the goal of finishing the 26-mile race in 12 hours. She finished it in 11 hours and 50 minutes.

Oh, there's the clap. Okay, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Now get this. You started doing, seriously, I don't want to hear the laugh. I'm joking. I'm freaking serious, man.

She started running after she nearly lost her leg in an accident in 2013. She found that running as a plus-sized woman wasn't easy. Really? She rarely saw other plus-sized women involved in races. When I started trying to get on my feet and walk, I got into five. 5Ks. I was highly frustrated that I couldn't find shirts big enough and there weren't many plus-sized people out there. When was that back in 1820? So I became an advocate and pushed for more 5Ks to get larger sizes and get more people active. Once I started doing that, I decided why not push myself

to the limits. So I continue to eat and get fat. No, she says, and now Smith competed a marathon and set a world record. She plans to run in. a 50K, which is 31 miles, thank you. She, we don't know, the 50K, you don't know if that's a block or you don't know, there's no way of knowing. But according to the story, there is a way of knowing. It's 31 miles. She hopes that her story will inspire people to go out and be active regardless of their

body type. I just want people to know one foot in front of the other. Just keep pushing yourself every day. Jennifer Smith, the world record holder for the heaviest feet. to complete a marathon coming at 3.46 pounds. Oh yeah. You don't know what the oh yeah. Good news.

I mean fantastic news. And I cannot tell you how happy I am to share this news. Okay. Coco, the chimpanzee, wants a star in the scopa-chopozo. I'm sorry, the what zoo? The scope J-Zoo. The J-ZZZ? In North Macedonia.

Bless you. No, it's the S-K-O-P-J-E-P-S-Zoo in North Macedonia. Is that Massachusetts? Yeah, no, a little east. A little east of Massachusetts. East or west, depending on which way you're looking. Okay. If you're on the California coast, you just keep head west

And you're on the New York coast, just head east, you'll get there sooner later in North Macedonia. All right, so, what's the computer say? How do I pronounce it? Scopch. I'm sorry? Scopch. I'm sorry? What's that?

That's that? Scopch. Scopch. What a tremendous zoo. What a tremendous zoo? that is like I said anyway but this is good news coming from that zoo ska zoo in north Macedonia after spending 10 years in the Netherlands

recovering from depression Coco the chimpanzee has returned and been reunited with his keeper dragon Trigovovsky I like that name dragon D-R-A-G-A-N no kidding He's dragon. His dragon.

Dragon. Yeah. Isn't that the guy from Rocky? Doesn't he fight Rocky after he kills Apollo? Yes. Yeah. Right? That's what it is.

It's Drago in the movie. In the... Documentary? Documentary. Yeah. I was going to say, what are you going to say there? That's the documentary of Rocky. Rocky.

The United States versus Soviet Union. Rocky knocks down communism in the same. documentary. Come on, man. It does that through boxing. Come on. So Dragon, Trakovsky,

on Thursday, was overjoyed to see the chimp again. To quote Dragon. I mean, that was the excitement from the, the hell are they?

Orangutan. Orangutans at the zoo, at the Skobjoon Zoo, when Coco returned. I think you can tell the excitement. There's no doubt you can tell the excitement they had. Coco was born in the zoo in 1995. His mother died of tuberculotuses two years later,

and the young chimp then began suffering from depression and loneliness. His drugon tried parenting him for years. His condition did not improve. Eventually, a Netherlands-based animal rescue group, animal advocacy and protection. was contacted and Coco was transferred to their facilities in the Netherlands in 2009 to recover. After 10 years at the AAP facility, Coco is home. Okay, okay, well, it's just a chimp with the head. Depression.

How is that much money are we spending to send a chimp? And I say we. I was going to say that's us? No, it's not. Better the hell not be us. But you know there's, you know that there are zoos in this country sending animals to some animal advocacy protection group because of their, because they're depressed. What are you supposed to do if the monkey is depressed, Jeffrey? What do you do? That was the first thing that came to my mind. It was probably the last thing that came to theirs.