Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 16 | Fiesta Salad Recall, Pig Loves Doritos, & The Fat Pile is Too Big

Episode Date: October 19, 2018

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The Blaze Radio Network On Demand Happy Friday. Welcome to Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. Thanks for coming along for the ride today. Appreciate it. Good to see you. My gosh, it's Friday and you look that good. Wow.

I don't know how you do it, but you do it. You look darn good at it, too. Will anybody tell you different? So, no, you do. Why are you looking to me like that? Of course you do. Nobody pulls off a Friday like you. You know that.

You know what? Look at the mirror right now. I don't care if she's driving 80 miles an hour. Look at the mirror. You know, no one pulls a Friday off like you. No one. Not the visor mirror with the light on. No, I'm talking about the rear view.

Duh. There's other people that concern yourself with on the road. My gosh. Anyway, we're heading into the weekend. And I already, I'm kind of bummed. Because there's $700. 38 pounds of ready to eat salad with meat products that contain a corn ingredient that may be contaminated with salmonella and Listeria. So I don't know if I don't know how I'm going to get it through the weekend.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the weekend. The ready to eat salads, I want to be clear about something here first. I have actually purchased ready to eat salads in my life, you know, for other people. I'm not eating them. but I have never purchased ready to eat salads with steak. These salads are sold at Walmart in other locations. It's a little over 15 ounces. It contains a fiesta salad with steak.

Now, it doesn't, I mean, if you get rid of the salad, it doesn't sound bad. Yeah, I want the fiesta salad with steak. hold the salad. But it's being recalled. And if you've got it, take it back, get your money back. Whatever you do, don't eat it. All right. The problem was discovered the 15th of this month.

Just a couple days ago, four days ago, four or five days ago this week. Could be contaminated with salmonella and hysteria, like I told you. They've got, if you're the person that purchased Fiesta. a salad with steak and didn't eat it right away, that's a problem too. I'm sorry, but you're not running to the store. I guess maybe some people would run it. If he has a salad with steak, ooh, we'll put that in the fridge and we'll eat that on Friday. No.

No. If it's a used date by 1017 yesterday or tomorrow, the 20th of October, take it back. and take it back because you do not want to get sick from this product. And speaking of products that will make you sick, there's footage now, video footage, and the headline is calling it disturbing footage. And it really is disturbing footage.

It shows a worker at the world's largest pork producer. It forces the company to destroy 50,000 pounds of meat. That's a lot of meat. And you can quote me on that. 50,000 pounds of meat. Smithfield Foods, the world's largest pork and hog producer. A worker in the video shows it allegedly. Please, with the allegedly, the video shows it.

He is urinating either on or near the meat production line. All right. So they had to shut it. and, you know, hose everything off instead of just going, don't say anything. I mean, really. You're going to eat a what? You're going to eat a Smithfield, Polly sausage,

cook it up, boil it up. This one tastes a little bit different. No. No, it would take a lot of urine for it to taste it. You're cooking at your boiling. The good way to cook, that Polish sausages to maybe boil it a little and then fry it. I love the commercials for it, though, where they have the whole ring and the family cuts it up on top of pasta for the entire family.

Like that one ring is for the entire family. That might be the serving size on the package, my friend, but that's not real life. Okay. Anyway, that's, you know, come on. That's really bad. and I'm glad they had a handle on it. Thank you. Glad to put a handle on it.

You don't want people urinate in your meat. No, I'm sorry. You just don't. I know, I know we're worried about how they kill the hogs and how they kill the chickens and everything. I don't care.

But I don't want people peeing on my meat. I mean, now that I think about it, if you were to say, hey, over here, it's full price. Over here is really, really cheap.

How come the cheap? Well, it may or may not have been urinated on. I mean, you might go with the cheap. You might, may or may not, because we're already using allegedly in the story. We're not sure we see the guy look like he's urinating, but we're not sure if he's actually urinating on the line or not. Could be off to the side, maybe a little spatter. So bad.

And Smithfield obviously shut it down and clean everything off. Good for them. But I mean, now we just throwing it away. You know the employees took the stuff that already passed by. They took that stuff home. They're not even worried. That's what they're barbecue in this weekend. Because that didn't even come close to the urine, right?

That's the stuff that was already part of it. It was just part of that line. But it already went by. You know that's home. That's being cooked up this weekend. No question. And the stuff that may or may not, have urine on it.

Just kidding. Stop it. Nobody wants urine and their pork. Right? Right. Speaking of the fix is in, though. StarKist. Star Kist, I love Star Kist.

Tune in water. I don't know why you want Tune in oil, but I guess some people have it. They still make the product, but Tuna in water is what you buy. Starcast has reportedly agreed to plead guilty to charges of price fixing as a part of a conspiracy with two competitors to keep the price of canned tuna high. Sorry, Charlie. Exactly. It's Charlie's fault.

They're producing these damn commercials and all, and now they're fixing the price. And how many times do you bought? How many times? You go to, you go to whatever box store you go to, 10 pack, 12 pack, two pack, one, pack, whatever it is, and you think, wow, that's how much it is for a can of tuna now? Yeah. Sorry, Charlie. Because they've been fixing the price.

And if you say something, all you hear is, sorry, Charlie. Exactly. But the fix was in. The canned tuna industry has been going on since 2015 with Star Kist and Bumblebee, along with Chicken of the Sea. They're like mobsters. It's the tuna mobsters. Sorry, Charlie. Take it easy.

V-O. Man, the tuna commercial. Accused of price fixing. Altogether, the brands control 80%. Yeah, I mean, 80% of tuna sales are from those three companies. StarKist, Bumblebee, and Chicken of the Sea. So they are just hogging everybody. You can't get in that.

You can't fight that. I mean, the companies that are trying to fight it can't, because they're fixing the price on everything. And you know, I mean, they're already, I think Bumblebee went through a plea deal not long ago. Because Walmart alleged in a lawsuit that the company was part of a conspiracy with two other tuna canning companies, and it's proving to be true.

They tried to mess with Walmart, man. Walmart was having none of it. Having none of it. Now, the Bumblebee CEO pled not guilty to the same charges. The reports yesterday, a former Starcast executive, Pleaded guilty and two former bumblebee executives, but the CEO said, no, I'm not guilty. So they stepped down price fixing. Ten years in prison?

Just pay the fine. Although, now he's not going to Stark. You know what I mean? He's going to be living in the prison that don't pass that white line. That white line right there, that's your jail cell. If you go past that, we'll have to rain you in. And go ahead. When the family comes, just sit them on those picnic tables back there.

You guys can talk and chat. I actually know someone that spent some time in one of those prisons. And while it's still prison and you're still inside the fence and the gates, it isn't, uh, that isn't Jackson, Michigan. All right. you're not you're not in the state pen you are literally

don't go past that line and I know it's a surprise to you that I actually know someone that's been to prison I know that I know a lot more than that but that guy actually went to a prison that was the white collar prison I mean and all he was was just a I mean he just loaned money

it's all he was in fact he was part of the he was part of the seafood company because he was a lone shark that's my rim shot I mean Chris because he was a lone shark Sorry Charlie

Let's go to the water cooler I need some water But that goes zero is good But that's just a health tip for me That's what you need to do And drink it cold if you are not on some sort of If you don't have vocal problems And have to drink it at room temperature

Because your body uses more energy To warm it up and you're burning more calories. You know, health tip from Jeffie. That was Health Tips by Jeffie. Brought to you by Kleenex. Yes, Kleenex.

Why do I have Kleenex as a sponsor? Well, because they have backed down to their backlash of complaints. And you're asking yourself, Kleenex has complaints? Yes, that's the same thing I thought. Weird. But there's complaints of sexism to Kleenex.

What? It's tissues. It's to blow your freaking nose. It's to stop your finger from bleeding. It's to stop the shaving cut you had on your face. What? So Kleenex. And I love this story.

This story. We'll still. We're going to have to stop and go here because Sarah Taylor, writing the story. I don't know who Sarah is, but she does a fine job of explaining why they. Kleenex was forced to rebrand their

man-sized tissues after many people complained that man-size were sexist and not inclusive. Please show me what many people are. I'd like to see the many-people list who complained. Like, I don't know what.

the two people on Twitter that complained every day? Is that many people? Kleenex maker Kimberly Clark is in the process of rebranding their man-sized tissues after buyers complained that the tissues were sexist. Did they? A, they're already buyers. So they're buying the product. Yeah, I mean, you could, you know, okay, it could be a little sexist, but I'm still

getting the product because I need to blow my nose. And after a while, unless you get the softer toilet brand, you need the tissues on your nose. If you're going through a cold or you have allergies, the softer tissues are the best. For men, the tissues were launched in the United Kingdom in 1956. According to a report, the UK's telegraphed the man-sized tissue, which is the country. most popular tissue because everyone knows it's bigger will undergo a facelift so as not to offend those who believe assigning a gender to tissues is wrong. Tissues can't have a gender. They're tissues. It's a thing. In a statement, the company says,

said that they received a consistent increase of complaints on gender concern, did they? As a result, they will rebrand the tissues as Kleenex extra large. So now they're fat tissues. Now they're fat shaming. Instead, man size, the tissue box will now boast phrases like comforting, soft, confidently, strong yet fat Kleenex extra large i put that in there Kimberly Clark isn't saying and fat but that's what they're doing with extra large that's definitely fat shaming they need to fix that right away start tweeting them

right now I'm not oh ah all right so a spokesperson for the company told the outlet that the company in no way suggests that comfortingly soft and confidently strong are exclusively masculine traits No. No, no, no, no, no. Nor do we believe that the man-sized branding suggest or endorses gender inequality. It's a Kleenex. Come on. Really? Really? It was launched at a time when large cotton handkerchiefs were still very popular. And Kleenex said, hey, douche-nazzled, don't use the same dirty piece of cloth on your face. We've got something better. Here, try this.

I think that was actually the wording of the original commercial. I'm not sure. I could be wrong. Could be wrong. It's very possible. I could be wrong that that wasn't the commercial. But I'm pretty sure I heard Kleenex commercial saying, hey, douche nozzle, stop putting a dirty cloth up to your face.

Use Kleenex. Despite that our consumer service is registering consistent increase of complaints, are they? Consistent increase of complaints. I would like to see the consistent. an increase of complaints. If the same people are complaining, it's not an increase. It's just an increase of times the same people are complaining.

Kimberly Clark in no way suggests that being both soft and strong is an exclusively masculine trait. Nor do we believe that the man-sized branding suggests or endorses gender inequality. Our man-sized tissues remain one of our most popular products. 3.4 million people buying these tissues every year. Two of them complain. Listen, we remain committed to developing the best possible products for our customers. Thank you. We appreciate you.

We're remaining committed to giving us the best Kleenex you can. We appreciate your job, Kimberly Clark. No, we all don't like store brand tissues. They're too harsh. They're just too darn harsh, okay? Now, Sam Smethers, who is the chief executive at Fawcett Society, a feminist campaign group. Oh, we have to. Who is the Fawcett Society?

Sam Smethers, chief executive at the Fawcett Society. That's the first time I've heard of the Fawcett Society. I bet you that's a United Kingdom feminist group. They approved. Of course they did. Of Kimberly Clark's revamping of man-sized, praised in a statement to the outlet, rebranding man-sized tissues is not to be sneezed at. Removing sexist branding such as this is just sensible in the 21st century marketing scheme.

But we still have a long way to go before using lazy stereotypes to sell products is a thing of the past. Now, I love how they call it manvertising. If manvertising sells, that's what the commercial is supposed to do. The commercial isn't supposed to say, we're for everybody. We love you. The commercial is supposed to say, hey, this is what our product does. I can't tell you, that's a hell of a sneeze. Let's take back that sneeze

Yeah, thank you. Nice. Let's cover it with a Kleenex man-sized tissue. You bastard. Now, wasn't that better? Kleenex man-sized tissue, for him or her. A square foot huge and three layers strong. Wait, did they just say for him, for her?

Kleenex man-sized tissue. For him, for her. A square foot huge and three layers strong. Those bastards. You know what they mean by that? They mean for him, for her. But it's okay for her to use the man product. Why is she second?

Right? She doesn't have her own. It should be man size and woman size. Except that if it were woman's size, it would be smaller. Because I don't know if you know this or not in the world. Women are usually and predominantly smaller than men. And that's why the, I can't, I can't take it anymore. I do love the mannvertising, though.

That's good. You got to be on the eye, a lookout for, and I mean this, offensive commercials that manvertise. All right. The lazy stereotypes to sell products is a thing of the past. No. No, no, it's not. And it shouldn't be. because the thing is

is that they want to sell their products. But good, I mean, thank you for bowing down to the many people who have continued to complain about manvertising. You know, so you're going to rebrand your entire product. So in Highland Park, California, deputies in California, look, I know we're still in, you know, we're still at the waterculler, so relax.

I didn't mean to get off to advertising. But, you know, you're looking over there to the right. There's a box of Kleenexes. And they're right there. the regular size. They're not even the man size, which pisses me off. They're the woman size. And I think they need to be a man size.

Right. Look at that. That's not a man size. Look, pull that out of there. No, the Kleenex. Pull the Kleenex out. Don't pull that out. Ooh, hashtag me too.

And look at that. It's not even close to the size of a man size. See? I'm going to complain here at work. And I don't want the man-sized Kleenex in this building until it's after it's the rebranded one. If it's still just the man-size, I'd know. I wonder if they pulled them off the shelves and everything. I bet not.

Yeah, we're rebranding, but we're still selling the products we have on our shelves because we really are in business to sell our product. It's frightening. But deputies, as we were moving on here at the break room of Highland, California, There was a giant pig out the loose in the neighborhood. Giant pig on the loose in the neighborhood. Now, there's a picture of the police officer, a Highland Park, California deputy,

and the pig in the same picture. And it's a big old hog. That's what hogs get that big. They're not sure this, even though this still may be someone's, well, not a pet, but someone that they, they're a comfort animal. What do they call them? The emotional support.

This might be someone's emotional support hog. Good luck seeing that thing come on a plane. Holy cow. But it was out wandering around, lost, and they knew where the home was. And so the officers used Doritos to get the pig back to where it lived. How cool is that? And the pig was like, yeah, I'm following you. you drop a Doritos.

You see the officer dropping the Doritos every six or seven feet. And the big is just following the officer, the Doritos. I mean, who isn't going to follow an officer dropping Doritos in the road? Go ahead, tell me you wouldn't. Is that police officer dropping Doritos in the road? I'm taking them. I mean, that's a good Doritos ad right there. I think that's a new commercial.

And I don't know if it's, and it's, oh, my. gosh it's a female it's a female police officer so we're not mansplaining we're not I mean it we're if we are feeding animals the only thing is now PETa might does feeding them hogs Doritos yeah they pretty much eat anything I don't know anything about hogs but they will eat anything okay he was returned to his pen and deputies secured the gate oh isn't that special and now he's behind the gate going where the hell are some more Doritos somebody better bring me some freaking Doritos all right that's the end of the

Doritos head by the way no problem with the pig looking at the gate looking like bra or I mean female mah it's still be bra female cop right what is the female ma that's female ma that's female ma Where's my Dorino Somebody better bring me some freaking Doritos What is it? It's not bra It's a female mom

M brough Bra That's not MR, that's Mr. Bra Bra Where's my Dorado It's not even funny All right

I'm sorry that I made fun of that When you fly One last story here in the break room before we go, because this story is a little worrisome here in America. A passenger traveling from Ecuador. And we're going to talk a little bit more about flying

because my nephew is a flight attendant, and he's been traveling all over the world. And don't look at me like that. He's their token. He's their token straight guy. He knows that. They know that as affirmative action. He's their token straight guy.

And that, my friend, is a fact. Okay? A fact. So he's telling me about this flight attendant, stewardess, you know, waitress in the sky, that has a flying with Betty or flight with Betty or whatever the heck is called. She's got her own little podcast, and she's written a few books. We've got to talk to her about her experiences traveling the world. but he's told me stories about how people get triggered on the planes that is just agonizing

because people are out of their minds up planes. We do stories about them all the time. And it isn't always the airline's fault. It isn't always the TSA's fault. In fact, I saw a great t-shirt of a guy, and where it was from? On one of the social media posts was a guy standing in the airport. airport, TSA was patting him down and his t-shirt read, it's not gay if it's the TSA. That's pretty good, right?

That's a dog. That's cute because that's absolutely true, 100% true. So anyway, back to this story. A passenger traveling from Ecuador, and now I'm going to digress again because I have a mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is from Ecuador. and they are they are from Ecuador

we'll leave it at that and so a passenger traveling from Ecuador in Atlanta was relieved of her leftovers she traveled on the plane with a roasted pig's head in the baggage

Now, I'm guessing it's old school to travel with food, right? I'm guessing that I don't know that it's old school for Americans, but it's old school for people around the world that travel with food. Always stash some food to the luggage. You've got to bring food. You never know when you're going to need it. That kind of thinking. I'm not sure if it's the Latinx. or the Hispanics.

I mean, look, I travel with food. Don't look at me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not. I'm just not traveling with a pig's head. They've got a roasted pig's head in the luggage, and apparently there was a beagle that started eating the roasted pigs head.

First of all, why is a beagle running free on an airplane? Okay. It, oh, the U.S. customer board, okay, so the beagle didn't actually eat the pig. I can't be mad at the beagle. I'm sure the beagle was eating the pig's head in the plane, but that's not the story. The story is that it's the agricultural detector dog that alerted to the back. Are we seriously with an agricultural detective dog?

This horrific pig's head in luggage. The lady was beaten, drug off to jail. The pigs had is kept, no, that didn't happen. But they probably wanted to. I mean, they can't bring it in because of introducing foot and mouth disease and classical swine fever. And we just got another report of mad cow disease across the pond in the United Kingdom again. So it was two pounds, cooked pig's head. and they just seized it and destroyed this poor ladies cooked pigs head.

What have we come to? And thanks to a hearty, the agricultural detector dog, ruining her lunch with the family when she got home. The pig story had me wondering what kind of neighborhood allows pigs? because I think here in Texas you can have like cows you can have some kind of wildlife and I know there's the YouTube channel Weed up and Reap and they have

You know we've talked about them before And But they have animals on their property They have goats And they can have They have two pigs And that there are pets, but they won't let them have pigs to eat.

Like so, they could just have pet pigs in parentheses. They can't have, they won't let them have pigs to eat, to raise to eat, which is weird. Shame that that pig died, though. Got sick and died. We had to bury it out back. We had to bury it in the oven. And, uh, we got, that's a, oh, man, I don't know what happened to the pig. Did he die, got sick.

So we just ate it. We didn't raise it to eat it. But if you're looking for a house where you can store your pig and keep it locked up, go to Mercury Real Estate Services. Real Estateagents, I trust.com. Real estate agents, I trust.com. They'll help you out. They'll find you a house. You say, hey, you guys are great.

I want to sell my house and I want to buy a house where I can raise my pigs. Real estate agents, I trust.com. If you two want to someday have a police officer knock on your gate and say, hey, we found your pig wandering the street. We brought it home with some Doritos. Keep your pig on a leash. Go to real estate agents, I trust.com. You too, thanks to real estate agents I trust.com, can find a house where you can keep your pigs.

All right, before we get to the fat pile, I just want to say that don't forget to keep an eye out for the Saturday podcast. Last week we gave you a special story. You can still get it, obviously, is the hippopotamus is an America story and camels in America. And this week is just, I want to, well, I'm calling it a preparedness story, but it's really about locking my keys in the car

and how you should be prepared for the inevitability of something like that happening to you. Because, well, you'll find out of the story just what happened, but it was a long, afternoon at the bus stop. All right, so let's go to the fat pile. It's Friday, and I've got, the fat pile has gotten so big. It's time it needs to, I mean, it's so big that you think that,

ooh, man, you need to go see the fat doc, how big it is. Dr. No, whatever his name is. Dr. No, why, Zazazazazazaz. Dr. No. Dr. Now. You know, for my 600 pound life. That show is fascinating. And I watch that just to feel better about myself.

I mean, you watch that show. Oh, my gosh. And some people really do great. And they beat the struggle and get through it. And the doc is no holes barred man. He tell, I mean, he is, follow my plan. We'll let you, we'll get you to lose weight. And we'll have the surgery and you'll lose all kinds of weight.

And but you need to follow my plan. And people, you know, those of us that are overweight understand the struggle it is of, well, I'll just do it my way. You know, I know you have, your plan is to cook it this way and to eat this many, but I figured I'd do this. And no, no, your plan has, how's that plan worked out for you so far? At 650 pounds, okay? So you do it my way or you hit the road. And it's just, it was, he's just a fascinating show. And I have no idea why I was talking about the fat show.

Why was I talking about the fat show? I really have to... What brought me to the 500, 600-pound life? I mean, I can sit here now with you. No, I know. Don't look at me like, Oh, you're not out of the show. I got it.

But I don't know what made me think of Dr. Dr. No, the 600-pound life. And the fat people trying to think, I'm trying to remember where I was. Seriously, what was I talking about? I got to, I got to stop drinking. That's what I got to do. Oh, the fat pile.

How is it? The fat pile got me into the 600-pound life. Wow. I feel better now, though, because I know where it came from. All right. So, for those of you thinking that, man, my life sucks. Let me tell you about a little girl in Canada who is a nine years old. And you think, man, I could just do something with my life. I could just do, you know, I could

figure out something to do with my life, make a little money. Yeah, there's a nine-year-old girl in Canada that decided, hey, pot's legal in my country now. How can I make money? I know. I'll go sell cookies outside of the pot store. Fortune. She's saying, selling, she's already sold the first couple hours, $120 worth of sandwich cookies and mint thins to people in line to buy marijuana.

Genius. Genius. And there's plenty of people standing in line, too. Because we already have the story from Canada since they've made it legal this week. They're running out of pot. The demand is so high and they don't have enough to feed the demand.

So people are being turned away. I mean, Somebody needs a shipment. Hello, or California, or Colorado. Either one. Somebody help them out, all right?

And really, I know it's, I mean, I've got stories here with Netflix and Hulu and Facebook, and all I want to think about is winning the billion-dollar lottery. Mega millions

just flipped to a billion dollars. Amazing. I mean, tonight is going to be a fun night for someone if they were to win the billion dollars. Cash payout, $565.6 million. That'd be tough to take. And don't forget if you miss that one, if you think, wow, I'm not quite good enough. I missed that one.

My ticket was off. You got Powerball tomorrow night. I'm Saturday night. Yeah, tomorrow night. This is Friday. And the Powerball is going to be, you know, 500 million. So that's not bad.

Now, you have, the odds have kind of changed a little bit for you. And I don't want to bring it down because everybody needs hope. And you know how I feel that Lotto brings hope. But your odds of winning now are about $1.302.5 million. That's it. This is the 1 in 3002.5 million. So it's not quite one and the country. We've got more than 3002.5 million in the country.

But it's pretty close. And it used to be, you know, they've changed it a little bit. Damn, mega millions people. It was 1 in 258.8 million. Then they changed it a little bit. They added a, they added a, a ball, I added a mega ball,

and they, I forget what else they did. And then that bumped it up to 1 and 302 million. You greedy bastards. I mean, making my hope slide away a little bit more, 50 million people at a time. So good luck.

My gosh, I hope from the bottom of my heart that someone listening to this podcast wins that. drawing. I mean that. I know that, look, I joke around and say that I have hope and want to win it. And obviously, I buy a ticket and yet be great, but I have no, I'm not going to win that

thing. No way. No way. You want to know why? Because I know that God is looking down, puffing on a cigarette going, nope, not today and not for him. Good luck, Fat Man. Signed God.