Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 17 | Always Be Prepared

Episode Date: October 20, 2018

Jeffy once again taps into his storyteller mode to tell a story on the importance in preparedness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Blaze Radio Network On Demand. Welcome to the Saturday edition of Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. I wanted to take a minute and tell you a story that happened to me a little over a week ago. And it just makes me want you to be prepared. It's about preparedness. We talk about being prepared on this network all the time. And no one talks about this, the story that I'm going to tell you.

Okay? Before I get started on my story, let me tell you that the reason this story happened really, and it could have happened at any time, was because I stopped to have a cigarette. I've battled with addiction with these cigarettes for almost all my life. So if you don't smoke, don't start. And if you do, bless your heart, do your best to quit. I'm not being your, I don't care if you do or not. I'm not your doctor.

I'm just saying I know what a terrible addiction it is. It's one of the few things in my life, I can't quit. And I've stopped thinking that I was going to quit. And then for some reason, I'm back at it again. So I don't smoke in my car. I don't smoke in the house. You know, I don't, I hide it. Hey, you know what I mean.

Okay, so that's what started my story of being prepared. So I leave work Friday afternoon. It just started raining a little bit. And I, not far from here, is a big bus stop. There's plenty of parking. I mean, there's all kinds of parking. There's a bus stop and the buses come through and they pick people up. And I pull in there and there's an area that I stop under a tree and I get out and I, and I smoke a cigarette.

And then I drive home. So I pull. Pull in. It's just starting to rain, but not bad. Just sprinkling. So I'm still under the tree. I don't need to get the umbrella out. I've just plugged my phone into charge. It's sitting on the center console, knowing that, you know, it's just starting to rain. So I pulled up and my windshield wipers are on. And they've, thank you, they're wiping the rain. know, and knowing that I pull up and get out of my car, and with the keys in the ignition, the car is running, I know that, you know, no big deal, the car can't lock. The door doesn't lock when the keys are in the ignition and the car is running, the driver's side door. You can have all the other doors locked, but the driver's side door doesn't lock when the keys are in the ignition and the car is running. So I hop out, have my cigarette, and then I'm going to drive home.

I get finished. Turn around to get back into the car. The driver's side door is locked. It won't open. What? I tried again. It doesn't open. I go to the driver's side rear door.

It won't open. I go to the rider's side front door. it won't open. I go to the rider's side passenger door. The back seat. It won't open. God to be kidding me. It can't be.

I look in, my phone is still sitting on the center console. The car is running, humming. And, you know, you look through the front window and windchial wipers are still on. I walk back around to the driver's side door. door, try it again. It won't open. I try it with a little bit more force this time. Maybe I just jerk it open a little bit.

It won't open. You're okay. I'll walk out to the road. It's a big corner intersection. Two giant roads. I walk out through the way I come in and the police department is not far from where the bus stop is. So a police officer's got to drive by.

I'll wave them in. Pop my lock, I'm gone. Walk out to the road. Stand there for a little bit. It's still raining now. Now it's starting to come down a little bit harder. But I'm still okay because I can walk out to the road and then I kind of back off into these trees. And then if I see the police officer coming, I'll go out to the head toward the road.

Oh, and here comes the police officer. I'll head to the road. I'll wave him down. Hey, hey. Hey. He just keeps going. Right by. Now it's starting to really come down.

So I'm like, all right, well, I'll just walk back to the, up to the bus stop and wait a little bit until the rain dies down. You're not doing that getting dry. All right. So I'm still, I'm soaking wet now and I'm up at the bus. Bus comes in, stops. The bus driver gets out. He goes inside the building to get a soda from the machine. So I stop him.

I go inside, I'll go inside the building. And he's on the phone talking to somebody and I'm like, I'm standing there and. front of him like dude I need to talk to you I don't care who you talk to you talk to you so he says to the person on the phone I gotta call you back dude can I like my keys in the car cars cars out there it's parked right out there you see it there it's still running you know if you look long enough you'll see the wind show wiper's still going now use your phone you know I need to call someone I need to call my wife since that's the only phone number I know I remember my wife's phone number and on that day I remembered the inside interview line for a radio station I worked

at 15 years ago. There's only two numbers I know. I call my wife voicemail. I know better. She's not going to answer the phone for the phone number that she doesn't know, right? And I don't know where this guy's area code is, the bus driver. I'm standing in the bus with him because he's got to go. You know, I mean, he's on a schedule. He was nice enough to let me make the call. So, you know, I leave the voicemail. Hey, this, Jeff, I locked my keys in the car. I need you to, you know, hop in a car and bring me, bring me the spare set of keys that are in the garage. My phone is in the car. I won't be able to call you. You won't be able to call me. You need to just come. Hang up. Go back to the bus driver. Thanks, man. Off he goes. So I go back and sit down. Still raining.

I go back and sit down under the, under the overhang there at the bus depot. I'm just sitting there. And I look out of my car. Means is still running and I think you know my wife is not gonna listen to that mess I feel this in my head that she did there's no way she's she heard that message she's not picking it up she probably didn't even see the phone call come in but she's no way she's like I don't know who that is and even if they left a voicemail I'm not listening right now anyway so I'm like crap so rain has died down a little bit I figure okay well I'll walk back back out to the road, I'll try to wave down to somebody, you know, to get a phone. Walk back out to the road. Still, still raining, but not bad. I walk out there and hang out, watch traffic go by a little bit. There's not a wrecker.

Not one wrecker. Not a locksmith. Nobody. Just pedestrian traffic. Oh, here comes another police officer. Nice. So I wave them down. This one gets close.

And waves at me. You think I'm at the, on the side of the road here trying to wave you into this busty belt? And I'm waving at you? No. Past he goes. Now, he makes to turn. So there's still a way to come back to the bus. So I turn and I walk back into the parking lot thinking that maybe he's going to, you know, he saw me and he's going to turn into the parking lot.

Nope. Off he goes down the road. No police officer. starting to rain hard again I'll walk back under the bus hanger right there for a little while and there I sit

looking out at my car still running and I know that nobody's you know there's nobody is my wife didn't hear that message so a bus pulls in a guy gets out hey hey how you doing

well you know you have a phone that could use make a phone call And he says, yeah, of course. He gives me the phone. And I tell him what's going on. I said, you know, I like the keys in the car that's out there. You can see it's still running.

And the wiper blades are still on. And he goes, oh, man, you want me to call you a cab or something? And he offered a pay for me to get a cab. He goes, I understand. You know, I'll get you. You want to drive somewhere, whatever. Well, you know, that would be great, except I don't want to leave the parking lot because my car is still running, as you can see.

and purring like a kitten too by the way that engine i mean that engine is just and it's a good thing that i had stopped the day before to get some gasoline in that thing because a lot of times you know come the end of the week you're riding on fumes had i been riding on fumes i would not have been seeing that all afternoon i guarantee you so he gives me his phone he says no problem you call anywhere you know i've out unlimited he's being real nice and i and i was I was joking because the only phone number I know is my wife's phone number and a radio station's interview line. And I almost called that. And just to hope that somebody there working would know who I was, they would.

And otherwise I would tell them to get somebody on this phone that knows who I am. And then they could call my wife. But then they'd be the same thing. Anyway, so I call my wife again. I leave a message, voicemail. But I hang up and I call right back. Voicemail. I hang up.

I call right back thinking, you know, you get multiple calls from the same number right in a row. Finally you pick up because it's got to be something you think, why is this number calling me so many times in a row, right? She picks up. Oh, hey. Now, mind you, it's been 45 minutes since the first call, right? 40 minutes somewhere in there since the first call.

Remember how my gut feeling of she hadn't heard the voicemail? Oh, hey, honey. Yeah, you know, I just listened to your voicemail. What? I'm looking for the spare keys for your car. I can't find them. They're in the garage hanging on the hook where we keep the keys. I'm trying to be calm because I could go off the deep end.

And I know it's my fault. I know it's my fault. But that doesn't change the... They're in the freaking garage where we keep them. Now just get the key and drive your ass here. It'll be 30 more minutes, but do it. Well, we're looking for the keys. We can't find them.

Call the insurance company. Tell them to send somebody out here to get my keys out of the car. Okay? We've got roadside coverage. We've got all that called. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. But really what I want you to do is find the keys and get your ass here.

Okay? I hang up with this guy. And he hops a bus. And he's such a nice man. He offered to get me a cab. He offered to make any. call anywhere I wanted. He was waiting there for another bus to go.

I mean, he was such a kind man. I really appreciate it. And I don't know your name, but if you're listening, bless your heart. Off he goes. I'm under the bus overhang. Still raining hard, looking out at my car. Still running. Buses come by.

In fact, you know, the guy that you loaned me the phone before has already pulled through twice. He just looks at me like, I don't have to pick you up. off he goes rain slows down a little bit okay i'm gonna walk back out take my shot with trying to see if someone's driving by right anybody anybody anybody police officer locksmith wrecker someone because i know the police odds are they don't admit it but they have the lock jack in their car right and and they'll do it if you ask them nice and you're you know you're you're not a dick i you know just unlock my car please I don't want you to arrest me for murder for killing someone.

Just get my keys. Let me in my car. I got to the road. You know, it's just sprinkling a little bit. And I'm standing there watching the cars. Just pedestrian cars go by. Oh, hey, there goes another cop. Here comes another cop.

I walk out to the road. I mean, I didn't go to the sidewalk. I didn't go to the curb. I went in the road and not just, you know, just the other side of the curb. But I'm in the road. Waving. trying to say, yo, I need you, come here. And he stays in the middle lane.

And I'm like, yo, come here. And he's in the middle lane. And he's, yo, no. He is gone. I walk back up to the busty boat. But in the middle, I stop at my car. Still running. And I think, you know, I wonder if I just bang on the lock,

bang on where the door. I mean, I'm banging. I am. I tried to open it. It won't open. I'm slamming this thing. I'm trying. It won't open.

Oh! Now starting to rain again. Heavy. Hurry up. Get back underneath the bus depot. Underneath the O'Rang. Sit back down on the bench. Still running.

Nobody's coming. Well, keep looking for my life's car to pull in around the corner. A driver's edge. car pulls in the lot. And I'm thinking, I can wave them down. Somebody's got to have a phone right. I go to wave them down. Out they go,

shoot them. I don't catch me. So I'm out in the parking lot, so I figure I'll go back to the road again. I'll wave somebody down. And I hear, here comes in a, it looks like a kind of a police car, but I know it's not. It's a local security car that they have lost. The city that we work in here in Irving is a separate little entity of itself, and they their own little security guys that drive around.

It's one of those guys. I wave at him. And he goes by me, but he makes the turn like I thought the police officer would do it. I was like, come on, come on. And I start walking back into the lot. And I see he's turning into the bus. Yes, finally got somebody.

He pulls up and he drives him, dude. Hey, I locked my keys in my car. It's running. I need to use your phone. Or you got a, you know, you got a lock pop? You know, you got a lock jack? No, they don't allow us to care. He goes, I can call the police department, though,

get a cop over here to do it for you. Okay, because he knows. And I was like, great. It'd be wonderful. I step away from the car, let him make the call. He rolls on his one day, yeah, my boss says,

police department won't come on that call. And I'm like, well, that's why I was trying to wave them down. They're not going to, they don't want to show up. They don't want to have somebody call. And no, they're, because they don't want to admit they do that.

I get that. They're not, they're not AAA. They're not your insurance guy. I got it. But if you were to, if they would actually stop when someone is waving them down. And I'd like to know how they did, you know, it's a good thing that nothing really,

really bad was happening, right? Because my keys are in the car. The car is locked. My phone is in the center console. And something really bad could be happening other than just the wipers running. So it lets me use, I said, I'm, let me use your phone. I call my wife again. Hey, how are you doing?

Yeah, I can't find the keys. And the insurance company, you know, the guy who keeps calling me back because he needs an address. Had it not been the security guy's phone, I may have crashed it right there. Okay. I don't know the freaking address of the bus depot corner of the two main drags in Irving, Texas. It's not like it's invisible. Drive down this road.

You're going to see it. I know. I know. He keeps calling me. And then I can't find the key. We've looked everywhere. No, you haven't looked anywhere because it's hanging. in the garage on a freaking key chain.

That's one of the other kids. Okay, but they're coming. Yeah, they said they were going to dispatch somebody. Okay, no problem. They said they were going to dispatch someone. Fine. Thank you, man. Appreciate it.

Luis, security guy. You're the man. Appreciate you stopping. You didn't come back to check on me, though. But thanks for stopping. Walk back up to the bus depot. Sit back down on the bench. Still running.

We're about two and a half. hours in two and a half three hours in now only i really don't know because i have no way i have no time i mean i had the i had the security guys falling in those phones but i mean i don't have any after that i got no time i mean you obviously can judge time i get it but there's no exact time and i'm an exact time kind of guy i have clocks everywhere right now i'm looking at one two three four clocks i love clocks they're everywhere i live on time i'm a radio guy is anybody ever gonna come now it's really rain and it's starting to get dark out.

How do I know it's starting to get dark out? Because the lights on my car came on because they're automatically turned on when it gets dark out. So now it's purring like a kitten. The lights are on. And the windshield wipers are still going. So it's still running.

And it's still running out there in the middle of the lot. This whole time I'm thinking, how could have I avoided this? Just this extra set of keys somewhere. I could have had a stashed up. under the back wheel. It's tough to do that these days, though,

because most of those places aren't metal anymore, so there's no magnet to hold on to. And I'll tell you what we found, you know, at the end, I'm glad my wife helped me when I finally got home. It's nice of her. And so now it's real, I mean, it's getting dark, and it is really coming down. I mean, it's been raining here in Texas for the last week,

but that last Friday was really raining. It rained hard. And I'm just sitting under the bus depot. Buses are going by. The bus to bus driver goes by gives me a little wave now, I was like we're buds. Like I'm living at the bus depot. Amazingly, there's no county cars driving through.

There's no police officers driving through. There's no any kind of work vehicles driving through. Friday afternoon, evening at the bus depot. Nobody. Nobody. You can pull into that lot right now. Any afternoon. Within 10 minutes, somebody's pulled with somebody, some bus supervisor,

some county supervisor, somebody's pulling into that lot. Not that day. Nope. Gone. Nothing. Finally, it's been about three and a half hours, and I see a car pull in,

and he pulls right up to the bus, and it's the insurance guy. Now, come to find out, he's on the phone with my wife because he can't find the place. What kind of... I had to be nice, though. I said, ah, yeah, it's good.

My wife knows where it's a hat. Can we drive out to my car? I said, yeah, I said, yeah, you know, I got all the information that you need is in the car. So you got to just unlock. You just got to open it. In the old days, you know, they've come with the pop lock and they pop the lock. Nope, not today. He's got to get out.

It's really raining. And he's got the little air bags that they put in between the doors and they blow them up, which pulls the door and the car apart. So he can stick his thing in there. Not that thing, but he's got an actual, like, wire thing that he sticks in. there and pushes down the window. Just unlock it, bro. What do you roll my windows down for in the middle of a rainstorm?

Right? But he does. That's how he knows how to get in. I wouldn't want you to unlock it. So, you know, he opens the windows, get in, rolls the windows back up. And then he just, I opened the back door. I grabbed my umbrella, opened it up. And he goes, I don't need to see any of your paper.

Just sign here. I know it's been a long day. Yeah. I get home as soon as I walk in the door. Oh, hey, home. Oh, hi, daddy. Hey, how you doing? How you doing?

You know, we just found the key. Did you? Did you? Yeah, do you know that it fell off the hook that they're usually on out there in the garage? It's right down there on the floor in the garage there. Oh, and you just miraculously figured that out, huh? Amazing. I will say.

While the car wasn't on empty, it did use quite a bit of gasoline. It had gone down quite a lot. While it was just sitting there purr in like a kitten in a rainstorm. Wipers go in the whole damn time. So then I get out of clothes. I get home and lay out of my wife says, oh, look at these. This is what we should get. And she shows me the spare key combination locks.

that goes in the trailer hitch. I thought, oh, that's a pretty good idea. Probably should do that. But I'm never going to lock my keys in the car again. It's never going to happen. Why the car door actually locked with the keys in the ignition and the engine on? I don't know. Could it have been me doing it manually, getting out of the car?

I guess. But usually, I've practiced now a few times. Never. Not once. Does it lock? not once. That car is going to go through a nuclear blast and it's going to remain unlocked,

guaranteed from now to the end of time. So I guess I'm just going to have to get the trailer hitch extra key just so that I have it. You know, just so that I have it. But it's a good thought to maybe be prepared. And you think, well, I have some numbers to people who call in my wallet. That'd be great if it wasn't in the car. You use your phone and call for help right away.

Somebody would come right up. That'd be great if it was. wasn't in the car. You could go, I don't know, and go across and try to find somebody at the apartment building or use a pay phone. That'd be great if your cards and everything weren't in the car. So I will say this. I got help from several people that were really nice and willing to help.

So I don't, when I, you know, I always, my kids always say, why did you help that guy? That's why. Because I want help back when they need it. So there's, there's one good lesson to learn from that. Somebody needs a little bit of help, give it to them. It doesn't kill you to give them a little bit of help. Second, be nice. It was your fault.

It wasn't your wife's fault that couldn't find the keys and couldn't get out there within about 40 minutes. And help it unlock your car so you could go, it wasn't her fault. It was all your fault. And the whole time you got to think about it there underneath the old bus depot with the rain pouring down. And you're just looking at your car in the parking lot. Purring like a kid. So the moral of the story is, A, don't smoke. It all started with me getting out of that stupid car to smoke a cigarette.

And B, have an extra set of keys that you can get to. No matter what you do. Because you're going to want to be able to get back in your car. Right? And even if you were to have OnStar or anything like that, you still have to have some way to communicate with them that you need help. And I didn't want to break a window. I didn't want to smash into the bumper.

and alert anything. So you're just stuck. So just be prepared for something like that. At least know a phone number. I was fortunate to remember my wife's phone number. I mean, I've made myself know that number because I know how easy it is to not learn numbers anymore. It's just a name and a phone.

Right? We all do that. So that's important. And I would have liked to, I don't know, I'm going to make myself remember a few other phone numbers. You know, just in case. Just in case. because it's tough for me.

I've really blocked out remembering phone numbers because, you know, in radio, I've said this before. When you start remembering the radio station's number, that's when you get fired. So I try not to remember any phone numbers for the call-in numbers. In fact, when they were redoing these studios here, I made sure they put the numbers up on the wall in big black numbers. So I didn't have to remember them. What I can do is just leave to the right a little bit and there's the numbers. So have a good weekend. I hope you don't get your keys locked in your car.

I hope you don't have to sit at a bus stop, bus depot, with its storming, blowing, raining, windy, little nippy, starting to get dark. The keys in the ignition. The car is running. Wipers on. That's how you know. I seriously, I looked at that before the lights came on, before it got darker than the lights came on, which was kind. Glad everything worked. That's how I'd stare at it for a little bit just to see if it was still running.

All right, the wipers are still going. Cars still running. Good to go. That's my weekend story for you. Be prepared. Have an extra set of keys somewhere where you can find them. I don't know what else to tell you. Preparedness matters.