Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 196 | Killer Slim, Buddha Priest, & Dating Colonel Sanders

Episode Date: September 12, 2019

Yup you read that correctly Colonel Sanders is AVAILABLE to date and no Jeffy is not making fun of Glenn Beck. A breakthrough in the priest world where a AI Priest gets introduce at a Buddha Temple. Then Jeffy plays the "happiest state in the U.S.' game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Outbreak of highly contagious bacterial infection kills 14. Killer slime that can kill you. Well, stop for just a second. If it is already killer slime, we know that it can kill us. I don't know why we're worried about it. The killer slime that can kill you in seconds taking over France's beaches. Many of you say so what?

It's France. but, you know, I'm just saying it's to take it over their beaches. In other news, Japan may have to dump radioactive Fukushima water into the ocean because it's out of storage space. What could possibly go wrong? You know,

he says, I feel like fat grade. Because it drives, like, killer slime. Yeah, it's going to kill you. That's why it's called killer slime. A dangerous slime that could kill you. It'll be okay. Slime that could kill you.

Green nasty slime in the ocean that has been found to be able to kill you. Something like that. But if it's already named killer slime, we know that's what it does. I heard a local radio host yesterday promoting an interview with a local lady from DFW. is if you're broadcasting in DFW, a local lady means that she's from DFW. No, it does not. What does it mean? I don't know.

It could mean Roanoke. It could mean Arlington. That's DFW. No, it is not. It's the Metroplex. Roanoke does not belong to the Metroplex. Yes, it does. No, if you draw a map to the Metroplex,

you have no idea. You are the last person on this planet to talk to me about geography. Okay The last person If you look at the map The Metroplex goes right under Roanoke And then takes on Fort Worth Okay

This will be clear All right There is no Metroplex map There is No Do you have Google Maps? I mean not Google Maps You have maps from iPhone

Well you know the answer to that question So how can you Challenge me on that? I could show you my map But let's see it. Let's see it. Let's see it. No, no, no, no.

No, no. Hold it up to the cameras. Hold it up to the cameras. Let everybody see it. Let the world see Chris Cruz's iPhone Metroplex map that cuts right under Roanoke. It's not part of the Metroplex. It's only right there.

It is part of the Metroplex. Okay. I can't take it anymore. I can't. I can't. Thank you for listening to Chewing the Fat. By the way, I appreciate it. You should be sub-subsubsubs-subs-subs-subs-subs-subs-subscribing. The next thing you're going to tell me is that Denton is part of the DFW area. What's wrong? The map changed all of a sudden on you? No, no, no. I'm just looking.

The map I'm looking at the map. I'm looking at the map right now. They must have just updated it. Oh, my. Are you writing your own Sharpie? It's going to Chris Cruz's Sharpie update on the map. Okay, okay, no problem. I got it. You know what? Roanoke isn't part of, no problem, Mr. President.

It's all good. Okay, I send it to you on the text, and I want you to tell me, what does that map say? Oh, that is the DFW area, and in my map, it's red. I want you to tell me that that, and look, right there.

Yeah, yeah, that's a... It is. It's the Trump Sharpie gate here. I hold it up to the camera. So you can see here, which camera are we on? I will run the, yeah, that way, yeah, yeah. And I suggest you put that on social media so people that don't have the feed can see it.

Okay. But that is the DFW area. And if you look right down the top, boom, Ronald is a little bit. They take a little bit of color, grapevine, and then that is the DFW area. I stand correct. You welcome. Many people on this network like to share their beliefs.

Yeah, Rabbi Lappin does that every Saturday. Glenn Beck. Sometimes. Steve Day. Pat Gray. Pat Gray. So. Ali Stucky, she does a podcast on Wednesday or Mondays.

Or Tuesday or Wednesday or what does she do it? Phil Robinson, unashamed every Sunday at 2 o'clock. There you go. Yeah. So I'm trying to jump on the bad wagon. Oof, no, baby. No. Yeah, no, I am.

And I found a priest in Japan. named Mindar. And Mindar is, you know, he's holding church. Oh, it's a he robot. Well, it's a robot. It's an AI. I mean, there's no, I'm not sure, point of personal. Oh, pronoun.

I'm not sure what pronoun he's using. Could be he, him, she, her, buy. I don't know what it is. Bias not a gender. It is for a robot. Okay. It's at a 400-year-old Buddhist temple in Keota, Japan, and it delivers sermons. And I feel like, you know, we need it here on Thursday.

I feel like we're, you know, we're heading into a big weekend. We are? A big weekend. Is there a holiday that I don't know? Yeah, no, but it's just a big weekend. Okay. Okay. Is there a football weekend?

always a football weekend this time of year. Oh, okay. Last weekend was so fun. There was so many great games on. There was like four overtime games in college football this weekend. It was great. There were some great games. Great overtime games.

It was tremendous. I watched. The only one I didn't watch was the Florida State U.L. Monroe overtime because I saw the headline. They were going into overtime. And whenever I see that, I go to the game. I want to watch the game. The Florida State game was only airing on the ACC network. And you don't have that?

I don't have the ACC Network. Oh. So I know, and I'm not going to get the ACC network. I don't want the ACC network. So if they're going to air on the ACC network, good luck. God bless. What is the ACC network? That's the league, the ACC.

Which is American College, College what? Now we have the ACC, we have the SEC. It's part of the power conferences. I mean, I don't have time to explain the entire college football. First of all, you're rolling your eyes in there when I start talking about sports anyway. because you have no idea. I know, I know. No, it's not because of views

because people behind me get too excited and I get frustrated. Oh, I'm not going to talk about TCU. See, you already said, and he's going to start singing the stupid song and he's going to start marching. I'm not going to talk about TCU, who's, you know, they've,

they look like they could be okay this year. They're moving up. Oh, robot priest, Buddha Priests, from Japan. It was a great weekend. And then on top of which there was the U.S. Open, tremendous. The female finals and the male finals? Yeah.

Okay. Well, the U.S. opens a lot of things. So. Yeah, you're right. I'll let you off the hook a little bit on that. But yeah, this weekend, you know, so it was, the men's final was great. I know the women's final.

I know you might not know this, but did Michael Pelka's nephew make it? Not to the finals. No, okay. Michael Belca. The final, the two final men were two. and six in the world.

Oh, okay. Now, as good as Riley is, not quite that high. Okay. So I remember seeing those from Riley. Actually, I don't know where he's ranked now. At one point, he was, I don't think he's in the top 100.

I think he's in the top 150 though. He's like in the, last time I left to do. He's good from what I saw from the clips. Yeah, he's absolutely. Yeah, he's good. Absolutely. Okay. But.

Good for Riley. But, you know, not everyone could be in the top 10. It's a goal. And the robot priest. biblical Thursday no biblical then it was NFL the NFL on Sunday was great they're back our Dallas Cowboys won don't look at me like that

I live in Dallas now I gotta be a fan and uh were you what Eagles fan no Tampa Bay oh yeah oh yeah I'm still a Bucks fan I still have Bucks are close to my heart they lost them disappointing but bucks are still close to my heart yeah they better they're playing tonight too by the way that's who they met the Tampa Bay cheerleaders oh I got to spend a whole Friday with them.

Fantastic. I've spent multiple days with them over the years. Oh, you got a one-up me. I was just selling you, hey, you know? I'm trying to connect with you. No, no, no. Do it over again. I'm sorry, do it over again.

Do you know I spend a Friday with the Tampa Bay cheer leaders? Oh, that sounds fun. They usually have a good time. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Was it at an event? Yeah, it was at an event that, you know, I had a film and. Yeah.

Yeah. They're really nice. Yeah. Yeah. I like a lot of them. The other one, in Daytona Beach area. I know a lot of them. Again, I'm trying to connect with you,

trying to have some mutual grounds that we can talk about the same thing instead of just me here. Listen in. Anyways, it's a big football weekend again this weekend. So I'm looking forward to that. You want to come over and watch the game?

No. We've got the Missouri playing Saturday night. Missouri's playing, no, Missouri Tigers. If they don't win by 50s, 50 this weekend. I'm going to be angry. I got to get a lumbar puncture tomorrow, so after we do tomorrow's show,

I'll be out of, so I can't make it. Can it be next weekend? I mean, do you need a hand with getting the puncture or anything? Because I'm willing to help. Is it going to make it faster? I'm willing. I'm willing to be a part of the Chris Cruz lumbar puncture. Maybe I don't know.

Maybe I'll stream it, like, you know, Beto Rourke. Yes. Yeah. Oh, you have to do. Yeah. You have to do that. I'll stream it. Would you go in later, put the phone on me across?

Can you hold this? You guys film this, all right? Yeah. Just hand it back to the dock. Yeah. Well, the nurse, when I called her yesterday, she was super excited. Like, to the max, because when I make the appointment, they're like, in one hour, we need to call a different number. And that's the nurse that will be taken care of you.

And she's going to elaborate. You know, what time to be there, what you need. Because the appointment is like at four in the afternoon. And you have to be, you have to be like two hours early, we make no sense. But anyways. Well, they got to get you and strip you down. Yes.

And that's what she said. She was like, Chris, oh my God. Have you ever had a lumbar puncture? I'm like, no. Oh, we're going to have so much fun. So you're going to get here two hours before your appointment. You can eat a little breakfast and that's about it. No blood thinners, no aspirin, nothing like that.

You should have already been off of that. Oh, yeah, three days. Yeah. And she goes, well, what we're going to do here? We're going to strip you down. Give you a gown. I'm sorry. Yes, it's going to be a little bit cold.

But you're going to have socks. We have a little nice pillow. We laid you down. The doctors can do his thing. You're going to be in recovery. Can I don't pick you all because this is going to be the best experience you ever have here at Baylor Graveine? And I'm like, did I?

I mean, that's huge. I was waiting for the announcer to come down and say, come on down. You won $43 million. Because she was, she loves her job. Let's put it that way. You've won a brand new lumbar puncture. She loves her job a little too much. I mean, good, right?

Yeah, it's good for her. Good. But let's just remind her that it's a lumbar puncture. And you're puncturing my spine for fluids. Calm the hell down. And I don't want you a little chirpy being behind the back. I was someone calm and don't talk to me. Right.

Yes. You ever have, no, I won't tell you that story. I was just going to tell you another story where I had, it was just a day surgery story, but I won't get into that. That's the priest. No, we're talking about the AI priest, Mindar. And look, call you holiness? Look, you can call me your holiness, sure.

No, no, the robot. Let's hear the priest. I mean, they might want to put some carpet down. Can you stop the hammering? Yeah. We're not so long to call it. Mungo is so can't not enough not. Oh.

You know, if we're going to have, we're going to, I mean, we're going to, I mean, we're going to church. We're honoring the Lord. We're in the Lord's place. Yeah, we're honoring the Buddha. No, this is a priest, though. Oh, it's a priest, okay. We're honoring a higher being, okay? And when you honor a higher being and you're saying some prayers and doing your prayer gibberish

or whatever they call it? I don't think they call that. Yeah, and I think they do. Oh, okay. You learn that in Bible school? Yeah, in Japan, they do. Yeah. And you need some kind of, you know, why doesn't this 400-year-old Buddhist temple have

like the pipe organs. Right? I mean, look, the Buddha's one of they've been hoarding money for years over there. They got the money to put it in a pipe organ. I don't think they, you know,

are known about the money. Raking in the cash over there. If you don't say the Catholics church, then yes, but not the Buddhists. They live a simple life. Like, they're bald.

They don't even like have hair. They've been raking in the cash over. Those Buddhists, they can't stop the money from coming in. Yes. Yes, that's what we need. Thank you. No, drop it down.

We need a mix. We need a mix. Don't be overpower in the priest. The Buddha's why this kind of what's nother to cut it, nottut, you're nothurt's

this congen-myoy we're, we're called monnow to non- non-no is so can't not not

not enough. Kruh to think it is it, not not not not a big a big

a t'y I know I'm don't know I'm don't

know the in the no if I would be able to

get not good not good and you're getting

this this is the one to do you know, to be a guy and the

other's a lot of the world, that's the world that's welcome to come

to the world to get gha yeah my gosh tell me you don't feel

better go ahead tell me you can't I know you can't I know you can tell

the million dollar machine Mindar I'm sorry the million dollar machine Mindar is well worth it.

This is going to be, I mean, when we need a moment of uplifting, our priest Mindar will help us will help us reignite our passion in faith. And I know, look, wherever you go, Japan, the United States, whatever country you're in, religious affiliation is on the decline. and we've got to re-ignite people's lives.

Oh, hey, hey, hey. The priest just think they can come in and start praying? I mean, that's, when it's Mendar, I get. Now, she, he, I don't know if it's a girl or a boy now. I don't know what the hell's going on.

Can you just call it by the name and not give it a pronoun? I know it's tough without the pronoun. No, it's not. Mindar? see because the vocal thing sounds like a girl but then we learned a couple months ago I know I know so we can't do that but we can't if we want yes yes but do we want to be you know politically incorrect you want to offend everybody because now the AIs our overlords are

going to be offended. I know. For now, though, it just, sadly, it just recites the same pre-programmed sermon. It's about the heart of sutra.

The what? The heart of sutra. Is that the same as comma sutra? No, the heart of sutra. Yeah, but it's the same as a summa sutra. Yeah, so.

But there's different, there's some sections of sutra. Not the whole sutra. No, there's like, There's like mind sutra. Arma Sutra. Armusitra. Heart Sutra.

Thigh Sutra. Head Sutra? Karma Sutra. So they just focus in on the heart of Sutra. I would, you know, I'm all for programming Minder to get us to the Karma Sutra. But for now, it's just heart sutra. Okay. Which I'm a fan of, by the way.

I mean, I've had a heart event. I'm all for the Heart Sutra. You know, now really it's just programs one. sermon but if they turn this they turn it into a learning you know where oh we're done a learning robot yeah we're done and where it's going to start reciting what he thinks we need what it thinks uh we need when you come in doomed doomed for now all I want is you know him to be give us the heart sutra and bring me my Amazon package be great thank you thank you no this is the I didn't order this toothpaste but you know you're right

The algorithm said I needed it, so I got it. Thank you. Appreciate it. All right, let's go to the break room. I need a drink desperately. Oh, fresh, cold. Oh, my gosh. That is so good.

This is kind of a cool game to play. If you're bored over the weekend, you don't know what to do. KFC is going to start having a dating sim. that you can date the colonel. All the characters are kind of like anime characters, even the colonel. The colonel is like this. The colonel is like,

who's the other, who's the character? Oh, Mr. Spickenspan guy. Who's this Pickenspan guy that used to be the, you know, he was the older, big muscular, bald guy that was the cleaning guy. Mr. Clean? Yeah, Mr. Clean.

Yeah, not Spickenspan, Mr. Clean. I never could remember a stupid. name. But remember in the old days, Mr. Clean was like an older, athletically overweight guy. Then they streamlined him into Mr. Muscle, Mr. Muscle, Mr. Clean guy. And now, you remember, Colonel Sanders was kind of the, you know, the older, you know, plump kind of guy.

That's what in real life, that's who he was. But now in this dating app, in the anime, they've got him as, you know, they've got him as Mr. You know, 25-year-old, hey, date me, Colonel Sanders guy. So you could just go around. You can be so weird. It's the finger-licking good dating simulator. You play a culinary student trying to win the heart of your classmate.

Who is your classmate? Colonel Sanders. So be prepared for the finger-licking good KFC dating sim. So what are you doing? I see you in there. You're looking up with the Mr. Clean? You're doubting me? You're doubting me?

And whatever. Don't. Don't do it. He was never fat. He was athletically overweight. He was an older guy. No, he was. He was kind of chunky.

Yes, he was. I'm looking at him right now. That's the way America saw him. That's the way America saw him. Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, that's the way America saw him. And now we see him as, you know, Mr. Chiseled, Mr. Clean, been at the gym, all honed out, thinks he's the rock. Okay, whatever.

Just clean my floors. Right, right? Thank you. I'm right. You know I'm right. You know I am. It's okay. So, again, Wallet Hub has put out the list, which I love, and this list is for the.

the happiest states in the United States. Here we go. The happiest states in the United States. Now, we live in the great state of Texas. Let's see if Puerto Rico's on here. Oh, Puerto Rico is in a state. We're a territory, and we do not want to be a state, so leave us alone. We're on the list here.

Nope, they're not on the list. That's fine. We're not happy. We hate life. Yeah. So where is the great state of Texas? Texas. So I guess this is a top 10? I guess it's out of 50. So I say probably in the middle. We're probably number 25. Pretty close. 23. Yeah. There's nobody's happy to here.

No. And if you take the survey during the summer, you're heading, you are hating life. Yeah, that's kind of true. You know, if you're taking it maybe during the spring, you might like a little bit of life. Yeah. So maybe when you do these surveys, maybe around Christmas. Christmas time, yeah? Yeah. Because it hasn't snowed yet. No.

Probably. Probably. Probably hasn't snowed yet. It's cooled down and everybody's relieved that it's not the surface of the sun. And it's not icy outside. Right. We're, you know, car accidents. The bridges are fine.

DFW does it shuts down. Absolutely. There's a possibility of a quarter inch of ice. Shut that, shut it down. Yeah. Nobody goes anywhere. That's amazing. So it's tricky.

It's tricky to ask Texas if they're happier or not. But Florida surprises me at 28. What is less happy than Texas? Yes, because you got the hurricanes, you got the old people. Again, you've got to ask at the right time. You got to ask at the right time. Now, if you ask you in the summer,

people hate it because you got all these foreigners going into Disney. So everybody gets upset. every single local Floridian gets upset during the summer. You know, I saw the picture that everybody's saying is such a horrible picture of the two that are on the beach. And then they show the ship that overturned behind him. Why is that so terrible? It's not terrible. Why is that so bad?

It's iconic now. I know, but why is that it's not a, why they're trying to make it into a bad thing? These people went to the beach. It's beach day for them. They go to the beach. It's not their fault the ship turned over. No. Are they supposed to swim on?

and try to help? Well, they're supposed to flip it back. Oh, look, let's not do what we planned on doing. Let's go try to tip over his ship. No, thank you. They've already got rescue boats there. Hang on to the bees. It's like, you know, taking a picture, you know, next to, like, I don't know, the 9-11.

You don't want to do that. It's trashy. We don't know you don't do that. It's a tragedy. Something bad happened. It's like taking a selfie at Ashwitz. You know, like, you don't do that. I'm sorry.

If it's beach day, I can't help that there's a ship dipped over. In fact, I'm happy there's a shit. There's something to look at. Because a lot of people will say, oh, we can't go to the beach today. There's a ship turned over.

Less people on the beach. True. Beach day for me. So are you going to go to top 10? So we'll give you the top 10. Okay, here we go. Number 10. Connecticut.

That's a lie. Nope. I already don't like it. Number nine, Nebraska. I think that's a lie too. Well, Except that all of the people that are already People that are still there

are happy. You're already, thank you. Maryland, no way. Nope. No way. Nope. I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Massachusetts.

Nope. Idaho. The potatoes. Maybe. Yeah, the potatoes. Maybe. Idaho's awful pretty. Yeah. New Jersey.

Nope. Whoa, they got rid of fat boy. So they could be happier. He's termed out. They got rid of them. Yeah. And New Jersey is pretty. Well, hold on.

Stop. You did this already twice. It's not pretty. This is. This is not the prettiest state in the U.S. No, it's the happiest. It's the happiest.

Nope, I don't believe it. California. They are happy because they're all up in drug, dubbed, nip-tuck, um, botched, all that's true. Did you see that, did you see that we got to play the clip?

No, we got to play the clip on that tomorrow. Uh, the video of, Sharon Osborne and the season premiere of the talk. And you know me, you can't tear me away from the talk. Which is why we can't stop bothering me. Which is why I can't tape earlier because you have to watch the talk so you could get the news of the day and you could talk about.

I've been so off balance because they've been off. They've been off, yeah. But they had the season premiere and they're back and, oh, okay. Is she back? Sharon's back. Is the chick back? Marie Osmond is there now. No.

She's not back. No, what's her face? No. The main, uh, uh, Roseanne chick is not back. Yeah, no. Because I know we knew, we knew that she's going to take a break. Yeah. How about Chen?

Is Chen back? Yeah, that's why they brought, uh, Marie Osmond. Is, um, a Whoopi Goldberg back? Different show. No, but the chick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she is, yes. You know, me and you watch the talk all the time. And if you watch the talk, all I want you to do is put the talk in one TV and the view on

another TV. It's the same table, same people. Oh, no, they got a brand new set. Oh, they got a new set. This is a new season. Nice. This is like season 10 of the talk. Nice. Well done, Sharon. Well done. So anyway, Sharon Osborne comes out. And she's talking about her fourth facelift. Come on, man. She looks great. She looks fantastic. She looks great. She's like 100. And she looks fantastic. But she, they make a big deal out of her. out of her having the facelift. And it was the fourth time. Like bad? No.

Oh, okay, okay. One of us has come back with a glow. Nice. And they, how are you? And oh, I'm fine. There's a little bit of pain down here still. A little bit of pain down here still. But it went and she just,

she even made the joke of tightening it up that started from the below and they tightened it up all the way up to back. She made the joke of tying a knot in the back of her head, which I thought was, you know, at least funny. She's making a little joke of it. but it's all tight and tucked up. And she said, it's still a little pain down here. It's tough to complain.

They'll go of something that I wanted. So she wasn't really complaining. She was just saying that, you know, you asked her how she was. She was just saying she had a little pain left. But four faceless for her. And this time, seriously, she's got the guy behind her. She's got the, she's close. Now the next one, she gets the Nancy Pelosi guy standing behind her.

Yeah, to pull her. With the foot on her back. Today, then I had my operation. I'm sorry, operation. My neck done, my jowls on. It just basically went like this. I just said that, Sharon. Are you copying me?

From the top of my head and put an elastic pan in it. But everything was just lifted up, so it looks more refreshed. More refresh. Yay. Seriously, for just five weeks ago, I think she looks incredibly. Yay! How do you feel?

Oh, a little pain. Still a little bit of pain, especially like under here. But you can't complain when you want you to do it. So it's fine. I love it. I mean, tell me the show.

I'm sorry. She looks great. I know she does. She literally went back to 40. She looks 40. I know. That's scary. She is,

there's always, know, there's an exception to every rule, three cuts to confes. Yeah, and I was going to say, you know, we have two of them right now. We have Jennifer Lopez and now Sharon Osborne, two different breeds too. You got a Puerto Rican and a foreigner. That's supposed to be. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, repeat what you just said.

A Puerto Rican and a foreigner. Yeah, okay. It's funny how you don't count the both foreigners, but go ahead. You know, that means that Puerto Ricans, you know, are, could they be exempt? And foreigners could be exempt of your rule? Oh, three cuts to golfers. It's very possible. So then you put Nancy Pelosi.

I think really what it is, is that when you get Sharon Osborne and J-Lo status, you're not going to bill the clown-faced cutter. We talked about that one. We talked about J-Lo and her surgeries. I know. So. Yeah. Because you got, you know, a cat lady. You got to go, right.

You got to go to tie. Cat lady had a bunch of money, too. She did. I think she was had. She did not go to Jaylo slash Sharon Osbourne surgeon. No, you got to go to those bars. She went to Bob behind the dollar store. Yes.

Yeah. She tried to cut corners. Anyway, back to the happiest states in the U.S. All right. Number seven. We said Massachusetts and number six is Idaho. Number five is New Jersey. Yeah, no.

Number four is California, right? We were up to California, which brought us to Sharon Osborne. Okay. Number three, Minnesota. Okay. It's happiest. That's true. That's true.

So if you're living in Minnesota, that's where you live. And usually people live in Minnesota, don't live Minnesota. They love Minnesota. That's true. So they are happy. It's true.

Number two. Here we go. Number two. South Dakota. Number two. Utah. Yeah. I believe that.

Utah, if I, if we moved to Utah, which was, I mean, I love Utah. Retirement state. Don't go to Florida. That's too cliche. I know. On top of it, there's going to be no retirement for me.

And then if you go to Utah and you're old, it's cold, so you'll be able to survive longer. You just stay inside. And you stay inside. You walk outside of the backyard and the cold with the jacket. You stay out there for about five minutes. You go, whew, back in you go. But you got a little fresh air. And you got a fresh air, yes.

And you open up the back door, you let a little fresh air in the house. Just pick up. with a bear. Number one. Number one. The happiest state to the U.S. Okay, hold on before you say, is it on the west side? Yes, it is on the west side of the U.S. Is it west north? No, and that would be most people call it northwest, but no. See, that was the translation. I know, yeah, no, yeah. I've already given you excuses. So, um, can be Portland. Well, Portland isn't an estate, but go ahead. Can be Oregon. go ahead

is it uh over there Alaska it is over there is that Alaska is it Alaska is it Alaska? Let's see what's out of the board what you see Alaska

that answer is false thank you oh yeah I know I know I like the uh uh better than the that answer is false let's go to the let's go to the board do we have a uh huh let's go to the board and see do I see Alaska no oh no

No, no. Let's go over to the Fisher family and see what they say. Fisher family, go ahead. You can win the game. You can steal. You can steal. You can steal. Yeah.

The game, number one. What do you have to say? What do you have to say? We say Hawaii. Do I hear it? Do I see Hawaii? I do. Congratulations to the Fisher family.

Thank you. Congratulations. You've won a brand new home game of the happiest states in the U.S. Congratulations. Bless your hearts, Fisher. Thanks for watching today. See you tomorrow. Thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat

with yours truly. Jeff Fisher. Make sure you subscribe to Chewing the Fat. It's available wherever you get your podcast. Wherever podcasts are available. You know, I said for a long time, wherever a free podcasts are sold. And then I noticed that, you know,

people are stealing my life. So, you know, I've just changed it up a little bit. But just remember, when you hear other people say wherever free podcasts are sold. Started right here on chewing the fat. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. I appreciate it. Don't forget we do have the Patriot Mobile, CTF hotline, voicemail.

That is 214-735-9356 CTF hotline for voicemails. So we're going to be going through some voicemails tomorrow. We've got plenty of them. Some of them excellent. Some of them good. Some of them fair. Some of them poor. I don't know that we will.

If you don't hear your voicemail, it doesn't mean it was below the excellent rating. But it is possible that it was below the excellent rate. Do you know me be the bad guy here, aren't you? They sucked. I'm sorry. We heard them. We played them.

We said, You did not pass the line. You did not collect $200. Thank you for participating. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter at Jeffrey JFR. Facebook and Instagram, Jeff Fisher Radio. And remember, I cannot believe it is this time of year again.

October 26th, the Mercury 1 ball. Are you going? I mean, I have to. Except the Omni, though. It's not here anymore. It's at the Omni. I'm a little upset about that. I know.

Because I like to be here. Not at the Omni. Go to Mercury1.org. Get your 10. This is how we pay the bills. You know, all the money that you donate during the year for hurricane victims, for tornado victims. Nazarene Fund. Nazarene Fund.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. And we've got OUR working on that too. Oh, my gosh. There's so many good things that you donate to. That money goes to where you want 100%. Operation Barbecue? 100%.

Rubicon. Operation Barbecue is not a is not something that, uh, although what? They're a partner. They are a partner. No, the ball pays for them. That's what I'm saying.

The Mercury 1 ball pays for them. For them, yeah. I'm talking about the donations. Look, if you want to donate, you go to Mercury 1.org and you want to donate to Operation Barbecue. Go right ahead. I mean, I can't stop you. Make a donation to their name because this is what happened.

When you put, you know, I don't know, maybe I'll give $100 to Operation Barbecue through Mercury 1. those $100 fully go to Operation Barbecue. Absolutely. Instead of like $10 goes to Operation Barbecue. When I have them to come here to tell you how good they are, it's perfect. You can put, said, M1 ball, go to Mercury 1.org. I'll be there.

Of course, I mean, I have to be there. I represent the, uh, who? The Armadillo. Who does Jeffrey represent? I represent chewing the fat. Okay. On the Blaze Podcast Network. Uh-huh.

I represent. Chewing the Fat on Pett Unleashed. I represent more on trivia on Pat Unleashed as the commissioner. I represent a Hall of Fame member from a former M1 ball contest. The Armadillo race. All I know is I was victorious and I am now a member of the Texas Armadillo Hall of Fame. And you cheated. You cannot question that.

I mean, that's true. That's fact. Fact. I'm just telling you facts. That you cheated? Yes, it's fact. It was not cheating, Phil. It was not cheating.

At the time, it was not cheating. Now the rules are changed now. The rules have been changed at Armadillo racing. If rules get added because of you, you cheated. No, that's not true. That means I found a way. I found a way to win. I found a way to win.

That's the way I was raised. What was the way that you found? What did you do to the Armadillo? I didn't do anything to the Armadillo. My God, bad. You were pushing him. No, I wasn't. I picked up the carpet that they were racing on.

And it was doing what to the Armadillo? up the carpet and it made the armadillo go down the track, freaking thing, sitting around like you can just stand there. Gosh, man. Okay, and so we were talking about Sharon Osborne, and I know many of you are, you know, thinking about facelifts and what you can do for yourself. Well, now there's a new thing that you can get its vaginal fluid transplants.

And so, you know, as part of your refurbishment on your body, what do you say? We get a facelift, get a vaginal fluid transplant. You are living large. You are living large. In fact, heck, I might go for one. Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts. All right, so welcome to the dessert section, the back fat, the fat back, the, what others are there?

What are we calling us? Fat bomb. Grissel. Grisle. I guess that's what we're calling it. We're just calling it the list. And we just say what the list is. It's a sad list, though, today.

I know. I like to keep it upbeat and everything. And the rest of the show has been pretty upbeat, but I've got some sad news to tell you. Do we have? Thank you. And hold on, before you do that, the Bunning Clyde stores in your email.

We lost them. T-Boon Pickens, 91 years old. Oil tycoon. Author of of the first billion is the hardest. Don't I know it, T-Boon. Don't I know it.

How did he die? Morissette, he was 90. Maybe you didn't hear the story. T was 91 years old. So that means you could die any monument? Yes. I didn't know that's all right yes

wow actually that's a good question I don't know how he died let's see he was surrounded by friends and family of course he died of natural causes under hospice care

so he's been sick and so I don't know how that was natural causes if you're surrounded by hospice there's a problem right so he's been stop breeding

that means yeah that means he's been struggling with some sort of some sort of cancer or something for a while if all the family was there and they surrounded him.

That's sad, right? Getting ready for it. Whenever hospice shows up. Do not let him through the door. Yeah. If he knocks at the door. Hello? Yeah, this is hospice.

Uh, who? This is a hospice. No, no, no hospital here. No. No. We know there's not a hospital. This is a hospice. No, no, no.

No, no hospice here. Look, they're great people. I seriously, it's not the sad music, but they are tremendous people. And I don't know that I couldn't do it. I couldn't do what they do. Who are good people? The people who work at hospice. My first wife.

My first wife worked for hospice for a while. It's very tough. It's a sad job. It's a sad job. It's very hard. But just know that they are surrounded by death. That's what they do. Yeah, they literally.

That's what they do. So remember this as a, this is a helpful hint for me. CTF helpful hint. This is a CTF helpful hint. if you have hospice they'll just stand there because there used to be in around deadness

if you want to be alone tell them to get out no don't no that just brings more hospice you don't want that to happen but if it like is that how they bring them down like it's like a dog it's like no no no not like a dog

like a horse no it's not no it's like hospice comes in just ask them maybe you know go to another room or something no Do not do the, dude, stop. We're not shooting the hospice. No, I'm not saying we shooting the hospital people.

The hospital people are shooting the people that are in hospice. Like, is that how they put them down? Oh, no. No, the hospital people are doing that either. Well, you said they were surrounded by death. So I figured like they were going in. They're like, Mr. Fisher. We're here for hospice.

You called us. Your insurance said that we need to let your loved one go. So do you have anybody else that needs to go? Morse. News. Forever 21, we got the news that they were going to be filing for bankruptcy. The company says those reports are wrong. Oh, fake news.

So, just like the pants I bought from them. So I have a feeling that what happened was the stockholders, the inside stockholders, wanted to make some money. So they said, hey, let's say we're going to file for bankruptcy, the stock will tank. Then we'll tell them, no, we're not. We're not following things. You're crazy. Goes up.

Now, that would just be me thinking like that, though. And that's a criminal mind thinking. No one else would ever think of anything like that, ever. So, there's that. Be ready for more talk about Lisa Marie Presley, my girl. Who? Lisa Marie Presley. Is that the pay my tuition?

No, that's Lori. No, that's Lori. Presley. It sounds familiar. Is that Elvis sister? Stop talking. Elvis sister. Stop talking.

Seriously. I'm talking about Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis. Oh, okay. Not his sister. Now you piss me off. All right. Don't start messing with Elvis. But she's having a hard, tough time.

Life is hard on Lisa. She's had a tough time. And apparently now she's in a big fight with her ex-manager. Oh. Over, I mean, really millions of dollars. He stole? Multiple millions of dollars. She's saying, you know, that he invest.

and wrongly. She's supposed to have all this 100 million. He's suing her now for 800,000. Oh, so now it's just a back and forth thing. Oh, that's sad. But I know he's claiming that I think Lisa has, I think she may have. Old timers?

I think the money just may have gone away. I think she, at least I made it rain a few times around, around some painkillers. And, uh, really? She's one of those? I think so. So she's literally pulling out like a Michael Jackson's daughter. slash kids.

Well, she was married to Michael at one point for a little while. Really? Oh, my God, man. I do you know anything about what's gone out in the world. So hold on. So Elvis Presley's daughter was married to Michael Jackson? Yes, the king's daughter was married to the king of pop. What?

That is so cool. And if you're pulling my leg, I hate you right now because you got me all excited. No. Did it have kids? Are any kids? No. Oh, okay. In fact, I would be willing to bet there was never any sex, but I don't know that.

Well, she was too old. Correct. But they had the big kiss on the music awards. Remember there was the big kiss on TV? Jeff Fisher. When was this? Give me a year. I don't know.

I don't remember. I don't remember. Okay, hold on. Let me Google this. I don't remember. Michael Jackson. Please hold. Thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening to Chewing the Fad. Your listenership is very important to us. We're busy right now. Answering other questions, important questions. Not as important as yours. We'll get to you momentarily. Thanks for holding. Thanks for holding.

And thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat. Hello. Hello, Chewing the Fat. Oh, this is so cool. So what year was this? 2009. No, it wasn't 2009. That's when it was published here.

Yeah, well, that's... Michael Jackson, I don't even think he was alive. in 2009, right? Well, when did Michael die? Oh, yeah, he was a lot of 2004. 94. It was a 94. I know that Michael Jackson was alive in 2009.

Shut up. Hold on. I want to see the kiss. Everybody's like flipping out. Yeah, we actually, we watched it again, not long ago, and it's not as bad as what we thought, of what we remembered. Because for a long time, it was the most awkward kiss of all time. Really?

Yeah. and uh uh but it was we watched it again and it wasn't so bad okay go ahead no that that's that's bad yeah it's weird it is weird it's weird it is weird it is weird it is weird yeah yeah but that's kind of cool though and just so you know all right just so you to get off my back all right because i don't want to hear it all right Michael Jackson was alive in 2009 and dead in 2009. Oh, that's when he died? So.

Oh, that's so sad. That's why that video was posted in 2009 people were remembering him. Ah, okay, okay, okay. So there's that. So they got married. They were not just together. They were married to each other. Isn't that what I said?

This is impressive. Jeffrey, can you do more of this? I think this should be your podcast. You kind of like treating me as that I don't know anything and I learn new stuff. Like I just learned that

and I'm amazed by that. I should have known that. I feel like that's what this podcast is. Then you're doing a great job. As your producer, I want to tell you that keep doing what you're doing because this is great stuff. This is great stuff.

Amen.