Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 2 | WTF... WTH... News Cycle

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

Jeffy has a WTF! kinda day and sees weird news on the cycle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I get home yesterday and it's, you know, the day after the heart attack show. I wanted to, you know, share my experience, you know, post and pre heart attack with you. And there's some mail on the table and I hadn't really gone through much mail. It's not, most of the bills are my wife takes care of anyway. So I don't even worry about the mail much. But there's a couple of envelopes whenever I get, you know, addressed specifically to me, it gets left on my desk. And I open up an envelope to, uh,

from the hilltop drive in North, North Richardson Hills in Texas. And I thought, I don't remember anybody that I know over there. So I opened up the envelope and this is what's waiting for me. Dear Jeffrey, time passes so quickly. Before you know it, the year has passed, then two. You start thinking about all those things you should do, but haven't. Take the time now to make an affordable.

sensible choice. And I'm thinking, wait, did they, cremation is dignified. Inexensive and less impact on our environment. Do they know something I don't? I mean, is this something that as soon as you get a heart attack and you go into the hospital, you automatically get uploaded to all the cemeteries,

all the, all the, all the, all the cremation society. Eddie's know that you had a heart attack so they're sending out little flyers. Hey, we know you almost died. How about using our services? So I'd like to thank the hospitals for reaching out to all the people of death when people come into their hospital with, you know, the possibility of dying. Not just your everyday hospital visit, but the possibility of actually dying immediately.

I bet you all the hospitals have a deal. some kind of kickback. Gotta be that way. So I want to thank the Neptune Society for thinking of me and know that you're on my mind because I guess I'm on your mind.

Cremation. It's the way to go. Cremation is a beautiful thing according to the Neptune Society. I mean, it's the way to go. Did you know that? Waiting costs you more. Avoid inflation and future price increases.

Spare the way. There's loved ones. It's not a burden you want to leave to others. What's best for you? Assures what your wishes are honored. Peace of mind. Everything is handled. Rest easy. You're the best person to deal with this responsibility now. While it can be handled without stress or unnecessary expense. Jeff, cremation is dignified, inexpensive, and has less impact on our environment. A, I'm dead. I don't care about the environment.

I guess I should. And B, makes me a little nervous get that in the mail. I don't feel like they know something I don't. All right, so so much to get to over the holidays. There were so many stories, so many things going on. And as I'm laying in the hospital, I'm laying in the hospital for a couple of days. And all I've got, what am I doing? Overnight, I can't sleep, so I'm watching infomercials and, you know, stupid TV shows.

During one of the TV shows, there's a commercial for Skechers, Skechers, Skechers, whatever you call, and the shoes. And I've owned several pair over my lifetime. I mean, I like them. They're good shoes, so not opposed to their commercials. It's with Tony Romo, you know, the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback who is now a broadcaster. covering the NFL. And he's really good. He's one of the better ones.

He's made other announcers. We were just talking about this the other day, Pat and I and Keith off the air. We were talking about how Romo has made the other announcers up their game. And he really has, because he's so good and so descriptive and knows what's happening.

They've upped their game. We've upped ours, so up yours. No, that's not right. It's not. But it sounded good at the time. Anyway, so there's Tony Romo doing a commercial for shoes. Okay, cool. But the whole premise of the commercial is absolutely agonizing.

And he's flying. He's traveling around the country. That's what he does. And this is the commercial. Shoes off, belts off. Oh, he's at the TSA. That's where I wear a skipper slip on shoes. Comfortable, slip on and off easily as well.

Hey, you're Tony Romo. Yeah. He's still got to lose the belt. Slip in comfort with Sketches slip-ons. Oh my God. Does that make me so angry? Okay, so I got it. Skechers is trying to promote that they've got the easy slip-on shoes for the airport, right?

For travel. They're good travel shoes. The slip-on, easy-on, easy off. They're comfortable. They're perfect for travel. Great. What ticks me off about that commercial is the TSA. They're trying to make it funny that he's got to go through the TSA and it's easy to slip other shoes on and off.

but he's going to take your belt off. She already admitted she knows who it is. I mean, he's got ideas. Not like he's hiding who he is, right? We've all got our IDs in her hand, but he's known, a celebrity, and this particular TSA agent knows who it is. He's not going to take your belt off.

Why? If you think Tony Romo is going to, if Tony Romo, if Tony Romo blows up a plane, you got me. You got me. I was wrong. You know what? You don't have to pay me a dime.

Don't pay my family a dime for the terrorist act. You don't have to recoup anything. You got me. We're even. We're even. You know, this makes me feel like today, I'm looking at this list of stories, and I'm thinking about,

I think today is a what-the-h-a-a-a-a-day. Although I can't really say that, can I? So it should be probably what the heck. WTF. We'll just stick with that. Okay, fine. W-T. So you already know it's Tony Romo.

Yeah, he had his cute little sketchers slip on, slip off shoes for comfy Tony on the travel. We got it. He's going to first class. He's going. Tony's not flying coach. Belt or no belt. And you know who he is. He doesn't take your belt up.

Why? He put your shoes back on. And you know it's a belt. You already know it's a belt. It's a big surprise. but the buzzer beeped and you know oh my gosh it's a bell and that you see it on him

please that is agonizing that has to be fixed that has to be fixed I mean if honestly if the old lady in a wheelchair and I'm kind of rethinking this a little bit because it's possible that

you know someone could pretend to be an old lady on him in a wheelchair and get on a plane and, you know, it could be a terrible thing happen, possible. But not Tony Romo. I'm sorry. The celebrities that are flying around the country to broadcast NFL games and do work, they just want to get there.

And you making a, oh, Tony Romo. You used to have to take your belt off. Tony should have just punched her right in a face right there. That should have been the end of the Skechers commercial. We don't even want our own Skechers people to have to take their belt off, okay? We're willing to take off Skechers, but when you ask Tony Romer to get his belt up, he punches you right in the face.

Skechers, the All-American shoe. WTF! Okay, I thought that was pretty good. Maybe what the heck. Because I know you got kids listening and stuff. Nah, WTF. Your kid needs to know. Teach him on me.

It's a teaching moment on me. Another WTF. Today it's announced. Amazingly. Okay, so you know Jeff Bezos, right? The head of Amazon. We've talked about him on this broadcast before. The richest guy in the world.

Right? Maybe not the world, but America for sure. He might be the worst in the world, actually, now. $137 billion. Right? 137. We saw him the other night at the Golden Globes. Right?

sitting at the table, Bezos is there, and I don't think Julia won anything, so, bummer. I don't know if Amazon. I don't think Amazon won anything at the Globes. However, beside the point, they're creating, they're creating some great stuff. Did they win some stuff? What did they win?

Ms. Maisel. And then... Maisel won't big, right. Ms. Maisel, and then the movie with Stephen Corral. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was Amazon, too. So there you go. Bezos is there celebrating with there.

And they're creating great content. I watch them, I love them. I got no problem with them. And whatever amount of money Jeff Bezos has, bless his heart. All right. Him having $137 billion does not affect me in any way. Okay? That's fine.

He can have $137 billion. Big deal. I just saw a big story the other day, another WTF, on how the head of Sears spends his money. So what? You're trying to make the point that Sears is going broke. And this ex-the-CEO is living like a king. Well, yeah.

You know what? Before he came to Sears. he made a bunch of money. And while he's at Sears, they brought him in to try to save the place. He's done, tried, tried to save the place and hasn't. But he's supposed to be broke too? No, that's not the way it works. Sorry.

WTA. F. That doesn't work either. I should just say what. Anyway. So Bezos is worth $137 billion. Today it's announced, wife is divorcing him after $12,000. 25 years.

Amazing. Now, A, there goes, he's not the richest guy in the world anymore. Have a nice day to that. I mean, she is going to be one of the richest females in America, in the world, and probably one of the biggest divorce deals ever, right? We have to go down the list of the biggest divorce deals because there's some big ones. Neil Diamond's wife is doing nothing for millions. Who?

Neil Diamond? I don't know who that is. Don't look. Neil Diamond, the singer. Oh my gosh. Are you, no, you're not from America. That's right you're from the island.

Never mind. Neil may have passed. I think Neil maybe flew over Puerto Rico once and waived on his world tour. Did he wave? Yeah. Did he wave? I think he did. I think he looked down.

Hey, what's that place? That's Puerto Rico. Were we playing there? No. Oh, okay, bye. And he gave a little wave. Yeah. So, Neil, that was on the list.

I mean, she was one of the biggest ones for a long time. And we'll have to go down that list tomorrow. But 137 billion, 25 years of marriage. she is going to be living a large. Uh, yeah. And I don't know, I don't know how to break the news to you or my family. But,

uh, McKenzie and I, uh, Jeff's wife, uh, we got a little thing. What do you mean? We got a little,

that's just the way we look at each other. You know, she looks at me and I look at her. We got a little thing. So are you the reason that they're getting a dog? I don't want to, I don't want to take that on as I'm the reason, but,

I mean, I guess if the shoe fits, you have to wear it, right? So, you know, once the divorce is final, then maybe McKenzie and I'll get that bond back together. Mackenzie, call me. WTF! Come on! That's big. It is really big. And I hope that maybe some sense will be knocked in because, you know, Jeff started with nothing, right?

I mean, he's just a sales guy in an office, and he built this empire. So, you know, her argument to that, I guess, is that she was there with him struggling, and, you know, he built the empire. And now he wants to screw the 23-year-old intern. And I don't know that for a fact. Wait, hold on. Do we know that? Hold on.

You shut your mouth because now you're making some fake news accusations over there. That's because I'm on McKenzie's side. Oh, okay, okay. And McKenzie and I are together. Got it. Why else is, why else do you get a divorce after 25 years? She's tired of them. Don't you get tired of the spouse?

No, I do not, Chris. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. My gosh, are you crazy? You're newly married. You should know this too. So you think it's her? She's tired of him?

All he does is work. All he does his work. He goes to the gym. He works. Shaves his bougie-ass head. Could be the Melania Trump kind of dilemma thing. Milina was okay with Trump doing whatever, but you made me first lady.

That was not on the day. deal right so i know but what does bezos done to bezos or however you want to pronounce a stupid name um what's he done to make her we don't know that we don't know we don't know that yeah i mean she just broke today yeah i mean i'm going with a 23 year old intern if i if i'm if i'm if i'm if i'm if i'm jeff all right i mean i'm i'm willing jeff call me i'm willing to be the intern okay really oh yeah oh yeah set me up with a place in New York. I'm there.

I mean, I'd rather stick with McKenzie. I don't even know what she looks like. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You said the intern. I say she's stopped loving. She's to stop loving. That's possible.

All right. But so what? I mean, why would she leave him? After 12th? Why would you become accustomed to a great? I know, but why? When you're tired of relationship, you get out. No, not if you're worth $137 billion.

She's worth half of that now. She's living like a queen. And if she's talking. tired of him. He knows it. So he's doing whatever he has to do. Now, I mean, that's what I'm saying. Okay, so she's tired of him. And maybe he's like, okay, then just leave. Get out. I can't have you around. I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. You bring me down. I'm trying to get to space.

Here's 30, here's 30 billion. Ooh, come on, man. Come on, man. Right. Does she take the 30 billion? Does she walk away with 30? No, she doesn't. Jeffrey, come on. Half of 37 ain't 30. But still, though, that is a lot. You can quote me on that too. Half of 37 is not 30. Anyway, half of 137 billion is a little bit more than 37 billion. But it's still billions.

I know. It's still a billion. You can live for a long time on 30 billion dollars. A new single, you know, spouse, whatever. You got it made. You don't have to work for the next 25 years. You're done. You're done.

If you're smart enough with your money, you're done. I say, if he says, hey, here's 30 billion, I walk away. I never was her spouse at all. Signed the papers, we're done. And I'm done. We won't talk about it. We're good. And we're done.

30 billion, but she may want 30 billion and then there's going to be more in the future, right? Keep the house? Keep the house. You've got to pay for the upkeep. The house. I can't spend. I can't. I've become accustomed to a lifestyle.

I can't pay for the upkeep. You got $30 billion. You can still keep that. No, it doesn't matter. You got to pay for the upkeep. Because the upkeep of wherever, wherever they're living is probably what, 30, 40, $50,000 a month? If. Right?

Yeah. I mean, you're lucky to be under $50,000. If you live, they live in California. right that's what we're thinking oh I'm sure yeah yeah I don't know one of his homes is in California absolutely absolutely yes so but I mean you're not living in Bezos house no and have the upkeep be under 25,000 no no no it's impossible no no you got the gardener you got the pool boy you got all of it you got the Instacart you got the booze all of it yeah yeah cleaning upkeep all at least 50,000 you got all the Alexis of

around the house. Right. Hold on. Does he have Alexis? Oh, yeah, but that'd be pretty. That'd be pretty. His whole house is Alexa. Right.

That's another thing too. If his whole house is Alexa, there's some, you know, computer fees. Like, you gotta bring the nerds to. Right. Is it connected to Amazon? Can he watch Amazon? Oh, absolutely.

You know you can. That's what I'm saying. So she's out. She's got to get a new place. That's my house. Yes. Yes. Get out.

She's out. Take your cheap, cheap butt out of my house. Here's two bills. billion, go find a house. No way, two billion. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah, Jeff.

Oh, just for the home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to give you a 30 billion. Here's $30 billion for you, but here's $2 billion for a new place. And then that will get you at least two years of maintenance fees, house, taxes, $2 billion. Jeff, call us. It's a struggle. We'll help you out.

We'll help you. Come on, right there. Your honor. Yes. What? That's how good of lawyers we could be. All right, so I'm going to stay with WTH for a little bit. There's still some WTH stories in my, in the file, in the fat pile here.

There's still WTH going on. All right, so we've talked a lot about finding, stopping, seeing stuff alongside the road, drugs washing up on the shore in Florida. Chris, you're on vacation on Clearwater Beach. Did you look? Dude, I looked. Thank you. You can't, you can't not.

Right? I mean, you're there at the beach. You cannot be out of the beach. I cannot be out there and think, okay, well, if something washes up, I'm just taking it. And then I was on the Clearwater side, and I posted a picture of me,

and I had the car in the beach, in the sand, I mean, on the sand. So I'm like, I'm looking. Autumn, go that way. Go check that way. So you're on Clearwater Beach. Did you eat at the Palm Pavilion? No, but your wife told me about it.

Yeah, I mean, I love that place. And the owners are friends. You should eat there. Oh, you're not there anymore. I'm not there anymore. This is not a paid advertisement. from Palmaville, by the way, although I need a new shirt. Anyway, the, so this story out of the Keys, or another fisherman in Florida.

He's out fishing, and he, as he's coming in, he's done for the day. You know, I've got some stuff, and he sees something, looks like something had washed up under a dock. Do we know where in Florida? The Keys, down the Keys. Oh, Keys, okay. So one of the bridges down the Keys. That's Cuba right there, baby. It's Ila Marado.

Okay. Islam Marada, whatever you want to call it. I don't care. You got it right. Washed out Marada from the storm. I think they're still rebuilding down there in the Keys. Seriously, I've got some other stories about the Keys. I've got a relative that lives down there that had a house destroyed in the last storm that came through there.

And they're still fighting the government over rebuilding that. Of course. And they're fighting the local government and the national government because the locals have now rezoned some stuff. It is absolutely agonizing what they're going through. But I digress. Back to the fish. So he sees, oh, something looks like it's washed up under the dock. So he, you know, maneuvers his little boat, his little fishing boat out there.

And he grabs it, takes a pole, hooks it in. 40 to 60 pound package. Pulls it up into the boat, opens it up. Bricks, 25. 25 bricks, cocaine. Oh, what's a market value right now? So the only reason we know this story is why. Turn it in. Thank you.

You idiot. Thank you. That's the only reason we know this story because he called it in. And now, of course, the origin of the powder is under investigation. Yeah, no kidding. No one knows where it's from. Well, I know where it's from. It's from Colombia.

It's from Colombia. I can tell you that right now. They grow bales of cocaine bricks there? Columbia. I like Colombia. But they, now I'm sure that they did say in one of the last. stories that we read about something like this happening that the cartels do put a little marking on some of their bail so they know it's theirs so you know you have to do that but so you know

you don't resell it in the same packages that's just dumb and you can I mean you can find a way to sell that and be done with it hands free so you said it was 25 25 bricks of how much 25 smaller bricks what do we know how many pounds so it was you know 40 to 60 pound package so we'll say 40 pounds divided by 25? Yeah. 18. That's just my off the top of the head math. Right?

Wrong? Oh, Jesus. 1.8. So yes, 18. Thank you. You're doubting me. I was saying. I was out of you.

Okay, so according to this, there's a street value of cocaine. Can we share this? Yeah. Okay. Okay. The street value. It's, if it's wrong.

Because you're not going to get street value. No, you're not going to get street value. No, no, no, no. Okay, that's, I love the, when they all, when they make the big arrest, the street value of $800 trillion, yeah, well, you know, Joey on the corner of 42nd and 32nd and 3rd and making $40 trillion, all right? No, he's not, no, he's not. So the street value is $28,000 in Florida and California for the raw. Oh, that's not that much. No, it's not.

Cocaine's gone way down. Yes, yes, it has. I got to start doing that again. Yeah. I didn't realize it was that cheap. I'm going to start doing it again. A quarter pound is $6,800. if it's raw, and then two ounces is 2,000,

which is what you get in the streets of Maryland. That's called street coke. But now this is going to be pure tough, so you've got to cut this. You figure that's, I mean. Yeah, you have to cut it. You have to cut it. Absolutely.

You cut this in half, easy. You could probably, you could probably, I don't want to get into the drug talk, but you could probably cut that up about three or four times. Oh, yeah. And still be worthy of what you need for the street. Easy. So you cut that up.

You're looking at what, 3060, $120,000 tops? You know, maybe, maybe 160 if you cut it for? Yeah. So, I mean, that's, and you keep a couple of pure bricks for you. You can't be just getting rid of it all. Come on. I realize it would be difficult. Not everybody knows is going to know how to get rid of it.

And you don't know who to talk to, right? Because if you talk to the wrong person, then you're, you're looking at, you know, Jose, knocking on the door wanting his product. But if you talk to the right person, I'm going to sell you this. Give me $10,000. I want $10,000.

Yeah. I want $10,000 cash. Here. $10,000 cash. Put this in your trunk. For all that. Have a nice day. You and me?

We never met. Goodbye. I don't know what you're talking about. Goodbye. So after that, you're clean. And you got a quick 10 grand. It's a good fishing day. I mean, W.T.H. F.

Do you know what I'm saying? Megan Markle is another W.T. Another what the... Can Megan Markle's family get over themselves, please? Come on, man. Stop it. You're done. Stop it.

So now the sister, now good for this. And I don't... And now they're going to be, they're all wound up about it. But, you know, the half sister has been placed on the, you know, the fixated persons list from Scotland Yard. Good. She should be put on the stay the F away list. I mean, how many times does Megan have to say, I don't want to see you, I don't care about you. I know you're my half brother and half sister.

I didn't know you when I was growing up. I don't want to know you now. I have a whole new life, you know, with the Royals. Oh, man. come on I'm not we're not together have a nice day I'll tell you what the next time harry and I are going through the crowd in our little buggy with the new baby we'll wave and you can see your quarter nephew or whatever the hell bloodline it is but that's it done get over yourselves I realize that everybody wants to make a dime and wants to you know the

family wants to be you know seen sitting next to the queen and the king with um megan up there I ain't going to happen. I ain't going to happen. And even if you got along with her. I mean, you should have went to the wedding. Thank you. You had your shot, you didn't go. I wasn't invited.

You had a heart attack. You were in the hospital. You know what? But if you were out of the hospital, I don't know this. I have to go back and look at the stories if she actually was going to invite him or not. I don't think she was. I don't think so either. But they'd rather have Obama there.

Yes. Well, come on. Obama or the trailer park dad. What do you want? It's a tough call. That is a tough call, actually. It is a tough call. It is for me because I might go with the old trailer park dad.

You can have Barack or the day. I want the trailer park dad. I want to see what happens at the reception. Yeah. But that's what they should have been there, right? They should have been there for the wedding or maybe the pre-wedding or maybe, you know, maybe they could have talked to her and said, look. Hold on, hold on, the pre-wedding.

Yeah, the pre-wedding. It's a royal thing. It's a royal thing. You don't know anything about this. Oh, okay. That's why people ruled your island of years, okay? You don't know this. Okay.

It's the pre-wedding celebration. they could have created something like that so they bring them in and they meet the royals this is my half dad half sister we're good now get out the wedding's next week

get out take a few pictures few snapshots you can't release until after the wedding get out and be done with it and let them go make a couple of bucks instead Megan's like

I don't want anything to do with you get over it you're done you're done stop it otherwise and Scotland Yard is right I mean something bad could happen right i mean the half-sister she may

you know go off the deep end what happened to the other person that was oh never we can't talk about that can we what's that wasn't someone murdered the other what the heck are you talking about wasn't her princess murdered

princess diana was oh princess diana was she that was a horrible car crash are you sure because i thought that was a horrible car crash i thought she was murdered now she was being followed by the paparazzi There are plenty of a... That's a whole conspiracy theory in it itself, man. That's a deep rabbit hole. That is a deep rabbit hole.

How about it worthy of a show though? Because that's a deep rabbit hole. Oh, yeah. I mean, it goes... The People's Princess? And she was too. That's the title of the podcast. The People's Princess.

Dead at the age of 30-something? Still, dead. Died on this day in a car crash, a tunnel. By the way, anybody that dies in my head, I'm like, so-and-so, dead. Dead. At the age of 42.

Okay, hold on. Before we do that, if you would have died on the 28, what would I say? What do you mean? Jeff Fisher. Dead. Dead. At the age...

Of death. No, no, no, but you should go to the number. You don't know, no. You're not going to know. Not even when you're dead. No, you're not going to know. So what's going to say? I was so pissed at the hospital people.

What do they do? Every time they come in and they ask, what's your birthday? Day to birth? Day to birth? Day to birth? I finally, I've spent it out. My wife is looking at me. I'm like, I'm not, stop asking me that.

Have you seen me? I'm the same guy that was here five minutes ago when you gave me the medication. And I said, if you come in this room and ask me that question with any people in it other than my wife, you're not getting an answer. Oh, really? We're fighting. Yeah. What did it say? What did it say? And I, the one nurse said, well, I'll just, I'll have to ask you something else then.

So I know it's you. Fine. Tell you what, no, no, no, no, no, do that now. I'm sorry, no. How it. It's you. I know. I can't leave this bed. I had a heart attack yesterday. I can't even. Who's going to come in here? You made a sign a piece of paper this. says I can't leave the bed without calling you to come and help me. So who the hell is going to come here, get a fat suit and get all sweaty and put it?

Why would they? What? Why would they need a fast? Really? You want to ask? No. Okay. But that's stupid though.

That is really, that's a stupid rule right there. That's, that's TSA rule. Yes. It's a TSA rule. Yes. That's all it is. Okay. So did they ask you something else to verify you?

I mean, she would come in and say, but that's her name. And then a couple of them would say, Dana Barrett. And I was like, I told you, I'm not asking that anymore. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay. After about the third time, though, that one, the first day, man, I about had another heart attack.

I told my wife the first time, I can't have to take it anymore, man. If they asked me again, I'm going off. And I did. And then a couple of the nurses actually had a sense of humor. Good. But a couple of me. Hey.

They weren't not getting it. Hey. Jason told me yesterday, I didn't know the story. I'm sorry. I digressy that to the heart attack story. But Jason told me yesterday that when he came up to see me, he was waiting and the nurse was coming out of the room. And he said, you know, is the episode?

I can go and see him. And she was like, yeah, you know, he's, he's, I forget what word he used that she said, she called me like some kind of smart ass or something, you know, saying, you know, is that normal? And Jason was like, oh, he's fine then. Yep. And then he said,

oh, he's fine then, and he walked in. Thank you. Because some of them, hey, I mean, they're working in the ICU,

right? It's a tough. Yeah, it's a tough, yeah. It's a tough, you know, you can't,

you don't want to be, like, I couldn't work in the ICU. Oh, no. No. No, because if I came in

on me, don't look like you're going to make it. Prove me wrong. That doesn't go over. Hey, you be the guy. Your nurse told me I wasn't going to live. And then you'd be the guy. Data birth.

Oh, yeah. Data birth. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Data birth. No, I have to. I have to. It's a rule.

It's a rule. Yeah, it's a rule. And I'm coming in here. When you've got 20 people in this room, I'm going to date of birth. And social. I was so, oh, man, I was serious with that nurse, though, man. I won't. I don't care if you've got to give me life-saving medicine.

I'm not answering that freaking question with people in here. Jeff Fisher, dead. a D-H- Unknown. Thank you. Thank you. I don't care. It's fine. It's not happening.

It's agonizing, man. I was so mad. All right. So let's move out. We're still, I'm okay. One more, one last. What the heck?

W-T-H. W-T-F. I can't decide because I'd rather just say what. Stop saying it. We have like six beeps already. People are going to get tired. They're not going to listen to us.

I know. I know. I'm sorry. I do apologize for that. Okay, good. Did they believe that? Nope. All right, so Kevin Spacey, back in the news.

Kevin Spacey back in the news. Now, Kevin's had quite a struggle over the last year or so. Yeah, he's gay. And he's lost a lot of, I know he's really, he's gay. He used that for his, I don't think he's 100% gay. He says he's 100% gay. He used that as an escapego. He tried to use that as a scapegoat originally.

Right? When he came out before the big headlines. broke of him with the groping disease that's what he's got he's got hold on hold on hold on the groping disease that's what he has that's what he should have used instead of i'm gay instead of i'm gay it should be i have groping disease is that the same as the other guy the uh the casting couch guy uh what's his name oh no harvey yeah no harvey what does he have harvey harvey harvey has you want to work for me do this disease oh you want to do a movie that's great do this Okay, so those two different diseases.

Okay, got it, got it. And then there was a guy yesterday from Florida who said that he had syringes in his butt. Okay, what disease is that? He said they weren't his. They found three syringes up his rectum. Rectum. Them near killed him.

And the police, he's told the police that they weren't his and he didn't know how they got there. Oh, I know. Alien probe. I know, well, you know, he's got the syringe creating rectum disease. That's what he's got. I mean, that's a whole other disease in it himself. Okay.

But that's not for today. That's not what Kevin's got. No, Kevin's got groping disease. And he should get some help. But over the holiday, now we can go down the whole list of the Kevin Spacey timeline. And you probably already know it. I mean, it's been overdone and overdone because so many of the cases are either, were years ago.

They're out of, times run out, if anything. were to be done. Nobody complained. Not, I shouldn't say nobody. Most of the alleged assaults were not complained about at the time. So then over the holidays, we get where he's going to be tried on this assault case in Massachusetts.

And I read the story, and I don't remember what day this was or when it actually happened because I just remember texting Chris. And I'm thinking, this is BS. Absolutely. I read the whole story. I'm like, there's no way that this case can stand up because the guy, the kid lied about Kevin, lied about his age.

He lied. During the entire time, he was talking about telling his girlfriend that he was with Kevin Spacey and how cool it was. And then even if you go by what he says, okay, let's, let's break it down. Let's break it down. He says that, um, He wanted to be with Kevin Spacey and that Kevin groped him, followed him outside to have a cigarette,

and came back inside and started groping him again. And then when he went to the bathroom, the kid left. Wait, you never told him no. You never told him, what are you doing? Stop it. All right, you were still sitting there at the table or the booth or wherever the heck you were sitting with Kevin, right? Thinking you're cool sitting with Kevin Spacey.

just like, you know, hey, I'm sitting with Kevin Spacey, but he's got his hand out my pants. If you take what he says, right? If you take what he says, yes. And then you were so scared that he goes to the, Kevin, and Kevin was so overpowering that he left to go to the bathroom. Oh, yeah. He was so overpowering and so demanding of you that he left to go to the bathroom. And so that when he went to the bathroom, you left. And he followed you home and chased you down.

Oh, wait, no, he didn't do any of that. He went to the bathroom. You were gone when he came back. It was over. Which is why you never reported it. You weren't the police, the first police report even wrote down that you were not harmed, didn't think anything of it. None of it. But then the mom, the TV news mom wants to break out and get more in the news and come after Kevin.

And I thought, that's just BS. Now, listen, I know Kevin is not, you know, a favorite of a lot of people. He's not perfect. We're not perfect. No, he's not. And I understand it. you know, and would I have worked on Netflix

if Kevin was busy groping me in the back? Maybe? Probably. You know, you want to work on, you want to work on House of Cards? And we can talk about what part you're going to have as I put my hand. Easy.

No, I wouldn't. That's just wrong. It's just wrong and no one should do that. Absolutely. And if somebody does that to you, you should say, No. Yes. No means no.

Yes. I'm not joking about that. If you don't want something to happen, say stop. Or no. Say no. And walk away. You have that power. And walk away.

Then if something continues after that, that's the other person's problem. They're committing the crime. Okay, then that is a problem. The crime is being committed. That's their part. You can't stop. That's something that you, it's there. Their fault.

Crime. Yep. You say no. Anything after that is undem. It's you. You have the power. I don't want to hear the power structure of my boss. He's too famous.

Stop it. Yes. Say no. Say stop it. Say, I'm not doing that. You have that power. It's absolutely ridiculous. So yesterday, the story comes out from his attorney, and that's what they're fighting.

That's their case. Kevin, I mean, I don't know what you're paying for your attorney, but call me. All right. So we have two cases now? We got Bezos and... Got him. I mean, Kevin's with his attorney yesterday. He gets pulled over by the cops.

Stop. If you were with me, Kevin, you wouldn't have got pulled over. Wait, wait, what? Yeah, he got pulled over for speeding in D.C. Oh, he's dead. No, they let him go. No, let him go. He flew...

Did you remember Hustercards? Come on, and that's a plot line strictly out of Housel Cards. You get pulled over by the cops. They let you go. You just got tag. You're next. He's dead. Where is he today?

Do we know where he is? No, we don't. So yesterday I started talking about a challenge that I want to do for, I want to do it for fun. You got an opportunity for you to win some prizes from the shop. dot the blaze.com chewing the fat store. Wait, what? Yeah, the shop. Dot the blaze.com chewing the fat store.

Ooh, nice. I like that. Yeah. So, I mean, you can win a chewing the fat t-shirt, a mug, a hat, you know, whatever you want. In fact, we'll give three away. Three place. No, three prizes. Jesus, one, don't break me.

We don't know if we don't have a budget. You're right, we don't. I mean, putting the bill for this, bro. This is a t-shirt and a mug and maybe a hat. What, you pay for this? T-shirt, a mug, and maybe a hat. That's all I'm saying. Oof, maybe a hat?

Maybe a hat. Oof. If I don't get the deal on the mug, the hat's gone. Have like a two-for-one or three-for-one? Yeah, no, that's what I'm hoping for. Okay, got it, got it. I know a guy. So, do you?

Yeah, di-di-de-de-do. Yeah, that's who's charging me. Oh, never mind. And I don't know a guy. So what I'd like to do, over the holidays, I watched the Netflix show Birdbox. And I talked a little bit about it yesterday and teased a little bit. It's not a show or some movie. The movie, what it.

So I watched Birdbox on Netflix. And I finally sat through it. I heard all, you know, everybody was raving about it. Netflix said that 45 million views, the 45 million people watched it. And I don't know that that number is absolutely true, but, you know, they had 45 million to stream it. I don't know if it's, they streamed it all the way through, whatever. But I sat through it.

The one thing I like about it during, when I, in times at home like that, I'm able to pause it, you know, you take a break or you come back to it. And I made it through it. It was worth the watch. Is this after or before the heart attack? Definitely worth the watch. This is post heart attack. Okay.

Post heart attack, because I was just, I just had to sit there, right? I'm supposed to come home and heal and get stronger. Unlike any other day where I just come home and heal, sit and watch TV. And so it was okay. But then I start reading stories about people. Netflix has to post a disclaimer. They want people to be careful with their bird box challenge. The memes that people are doing and people are sending their kids out to do stuff blindfolded.

A couple of things on that. And then I'll tell you what I want you to do for prizes for a contest. But if your children, say, go outside and put on a blindfold. And you say, hey, walk down the street. Jeffrey. What's that? What are you doing? What do you mean?

We can't. Netflix had a whole thing saying we do not advise people to do this bird challenge. I don't know Netflix. I don't work for them. Okay. For me. If your child has a blindfold on and something happens around them and they can actually see and they don't take it off, we lost one. Sorry.

Should have had them checked. Now, I know some kids get scared, little kids, but what I want you to do is I want my own bird box challenge. I want people to send me video shorts. of their own bird box challenge. I don't care what it is. I want it to make me laugh. I want it to make me laugh. So just send it to me on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram, hashtag it,

chewing the fat, and then give it another hashtag birdbox challenge. So two hashtags. Yeah. How about chewing the bird box challenge? Two of the bird box. Birdbox fat. Hashtag bird box fat.

No. I don't know I just want to see the videos I don't care but if I do the Birdbox challenge just Birdbox challenge that's everybody yeah you're gonna go all of them

that's everybody so I gotta kind of break it down with chewing the fat right yes it's got to be chewing the fat so I guess you just hashtag chewing the fat and hashtag Birdbox challenge

and do the hashtag Birdbox challenge or even if you don't do the hashtag you can still say Birdbox challenge yeah but the main one that you need to use is chewing the fat so we can see it chewing the fat yes

I like that I like that yeah So make sure, you know, video shorts of you or your family or your wife, your kids, whatever, doing something. If you don't know, see, Birdbox is kind of a sci-fiist thing where there's entity. If you saw the entity, you either killed yourself or you killed other people. Careful. What? Don't spoil it.

We spoiled it for Pat already. Oh, my God. We spoiled it. I was thinking about it as we were talking earlier today. We spoiled it completely for Pat. We literally told him the plot line. I don't care. So he's still going to watch it.

It's like, I don't care. People tell me that all the time. I don't care. I'm still going to watch it. You still get into the show. Plus, it's one of those shows that you got to buy into a lot. You do, yes. That disclaimer, I don't mind giving you that.

I like it. And there's a lot of movies out now where you have to buy into a lot. I mean, I get it. I get it. The rock, you know, hanging from a skyscraper as a handicapped person. Oh, yeah. Probably isn't true. Yeah.

I mean, you know in your heart, I really could. It wouldn't happen. No, there's no way. And the Bruce Willis movies and that kind of stuff. You know in your heart, you know Bruce is going to get, Bruce is going to make it, right? Yeah. But, I mean, the end of the one Bruce is the one diehard where he shoots himself through his shoulder to kill the guy behind him. That's tremendous.

I mean, that's, that's tremendous. Yes. Right? I mean, that's Bruce Willis saving the day. Yes. I'm taking a bullet, but I'm killing you with it. Yes. Okay.

But in real life, that ain't going to happen. All right. I'm not shooting. I might shoot a bullet through Bruce Willis. to hit somebody behind him. But I'm not shooting a bullet through me to hit somebody behind me. Not doing that.

No, no, no, no. I think me and you're in the same bullet on that one. Sorry, honey. I'm not shooting myself. No, I guess we're all dead. Especially you. Especially you. But love you.

So, yeah, I wanted to do that because I want to laugh. I want somebody to make one that makes me funny. Think of something funny and give me a bird box challenge. Hashtag chewing the fat. The one I like the most. We'll get you, you know, you have your choice.

I'll give you three prizes, all right. You get your choice. You get a, well, you get one. No, wait, I'm going to word that right. Yes. You get one prize out of the three. But I'll give you the choice. The first one gets to pick.

We'll call you. We'll talk to you on the podcast. And we'll DM you and get your information. And so we can talk to you on the podcast. And then you get to choose what you want. And then the second place person will get to choose what they want from what's left over. So the second and third place people get the leftovers.

Yes. But we'll call you. The first second. Yeah, we'll talk to you. Yeah, we'll talk to you. Have fun. Yeah. So hashtag chewing the fat with the bird box challenge.

It sent me just some bird box challenge shorts. I think it would be, I want to see it. Plus I have a game. I left it. Oh, shoot. It's my office. My wife remembered a game that the kids play. You know, those wacky kids.

It's called Don't Step on me, I think. And it's a game where kids put blindfolds on and then you try to walk through the board and you try to step on poop. Yeah, you showed it to me via text. What happened? I have it. It's in my office. Oh, okay. We'll do that tomorrow. So we've got to do a video of some of our employees, not me.

There's other employees that I'd rather watch. Yeah, our employees. Your employees are co-workers. Co-workers. I don't think you're in whatever. I don't think you're in any way here. Hold on. I don't think you either here to be like a boss.

Why is your mic on? Why are you even speaking? There's some other employees. What I'll do it? Whatever, if you want to call them? co-workers fine. Whatever. They want to pretend

they're equals. Okay. So hashtag Chewing the Fat, Birdbox Challenge. Make me smile. And then be on the lookout for the video, too, of the Don't Step Up Me because we'll do our own little Blaze Mercury Studios Bird Box Challenge with the Don't Step On Me game.

All right, just a little bit more of chewing the fat. We got a little bit more on the fat pile today. So, Chris Cruz today comes to me and says, look what was on my door. And it's a, um, note from the Dallas County Health and Human Services. It gives their address, easy enough to find. And it says Dallas County Health and Human Services has received information concerning your health.

Now, this was put on his door at 1228. Oh, my gosh, that's my heart attack day. Oh, wow. Wow. So. Full circle, baby. Maybe they thought it was you. Maybe they thought it was.

I didn't get one of these at my house. They don't care about me. I don't live in Dallas County, though. Oh, yeah, you don't. So it's got the date, and it's got a phone number, and it's supposed to, you cut it. Now, they're so concerned about your health, but they're only concerned about your health,

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, 8 to 4 p.m. That's it. That's it. Wednesday, look, there we are concerned, but Wednesday, 10 to 6, and then that's it. Yeah. And any other time, we're concerned, but not that much. No, we're not.

You can call and, you know, beep, beep, beep. Thanks for calling Dallas County Health and Human Services. We care about your health. This is an emergency dial 9-1-1. If it is not, call back later. Actually, no, it doesn't say that. Really? No, it's straight to someone.

Oh, wow. It just keeps ringing. Well, this is real time, though, right? When we're recording, this is real time when they're open. So you called them and they gave you the run around a little bit. Oh, they did. They did. And they first asked for my name, so I gave him my name.

And she goes, full name. So I gave him my full name. Sorry. And she goes, do you know the, what's the name of the person that dropped that off? You can't make that out. Can you make that out? No, sincerely. That's a doctor's thing of show.

Yeah, sincerely. Yeah. Exactly. I don't know. It could be a E. Could be a T. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Uella, Tully, Ellie. Yeah. Maybe Ellie. So I was like, pretty tough though. I don't know. I don't know. They just signed it. They didn't put a name on.

They didn't print. And she left a cell number. But that's not a cell number. Compare that number to the bottom number. that's the main office number interesting so she goes okay let me get your address I was like okay okay this is the address

where the ticket was I was like this is where it was telling you everything about my life there Dallas County Health Department so and then she goes his what's your ethnicity excuse me Hispanic and she goes I was illegal no and then she goes

okay I need a city and state and zip code and I was like hold on wait a minute what are you talking about you're the one that dropped this stupid thing off. She said, why do you need this? Well, you can't make out the name, so I need to find it out. I'm like, my name should be enough. She's like, okay, just give me a date of birth.

No. There's no, you don't need my date of birth. There's, no, you don't need my date of birth. I'm like, you need my date of birth. She or he wrote down your name on here, dear Christian. Yes. I mean, it's on there. Yes.

So they know who I am, but yeah, and then I was like, I don't feel, I was like, I don't feel comfortable because I don't know who you are. And then she got, she says, I am the Dallas County. Health and Human Services Department. I need this information. I'm like, then I'm not going to give it to you. And she goes, okay, goodbye. It hangs up.

So they really aren't concerned about your health at all. They're not consent about my health. It does concern me, though, that you're getting this. You know, if it's a joke, okay, ha, ha, ha, ha. It does concern me a little. Because, I don't know. What's wrong with you? I don't know.

A lot of people, because I posted it online, a lot of people are asking me because I've been traveling, do I have the Ebola? Dude, if you're infecting us with the freaking Ebola here. But I didn't go to Africa. I went to Orlando. Like I said, if you're infecting us with freaking Ebola, man. That's the first comment.

Everybody's like, you got Ebola because Dallas was Ebola town. Yeah. We have patient zero here. Right. I'm like, I don't, if I had Ebola, would they wait like two weeks? So give me that? And the last time, I mean, my last time went to the doctor was November 15 of last year. So if they're really concerned about my health, that the Dallas County, you know,

Department of Health and Human Services needs to do what? What are they going to do? Well, they're a little, they're a little, they're a little overworked. They can't be expected to get right to someone that's possibly sick. That's what I'm saying. Plus, they can only do that Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday, and Friday, 8 to 4 and Wednesday, 10 to 6, and that's it. That's it. I mean, they really care about your health and human services, but only between the United States. those times after that no so that's what I'm like if you're really curious about any I'm sorry so you tell me the department of Dallas County does not have a web search or a database search where you could just pull up Christian how many Christians does this county have and of course and if they

if this was a lady that you talked to would have said okay here's one what address yes this is you yes how many Christians live and in the Dallas County area on that address. So you're the one. That's how you verify it. And then on the envelope, it said, if this person does not live here, please call this number.

But it's the same number. So. That's the only number they have. That's the only number they have? They don't get cell phones. They're still in the little pressing notes. They want you to fax your report. I just, speaking to that,

I wanted to get a picture from my heart doc. And I called the records office. Now, do you realize what a picture? Pain in the neck it is to get records from the hospital. Oh, yeah, because a hip-up. I just want a picture. Yeah, the hip-up. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to the hospital.

I'm going to see if I can get through. If I'm going to go to the hospital's head, I just want to see my records. Good luck. And then just snap a picture of what I want. Oh, because you want the picture of a heart? A picture of the heart, yeah. That's something you should have. I know.

Yeah, that's something, dude, that goes on the wall. But now I got it. But now it says you can fax your request too. Shut up. Fax machines. Are we living in the dark age? Right? I mean, what are they doing this so people don't get their records?

They're making it more difficult for us to get our own records. Because if that's the case, that's ridiculous. Yes. What the WTF, H. Speaking of health, though, and I know we got to wrap this thing up. I'm sorry. Thank you for coming along for the ride today. I mean it, doing the fat.

You can subscribe. If you don't subscribe, why? I mean, you want to realize when the new podcast comes out, you want the alert. And people don't know we need to have 10,000 subscribers. We're so close. We need 10,000 subscribers. We're so close. We got one.

We got what? I don't necessarily want to talk about the subscribers numbers. Why not? The podcast. Why not? It doesn't matter to these people how many they have. It matters to us. And we have over 10,000.

So don't start with me. Have you not seen a YouTube? They always talk about the subscribers, and they always do milestones. That's what we need to do. Is this not for the podcast? Because, you know. What I'd like you to do is just subscribe to the podcast

and rate and review and share. It's real simple. It's all you do. It's rate, review, and share. And I've made it easy for you because I know how difficult and how time consumed you are, how busy you are. So you just rate it 20 stars, review it best podcast ever, and share it with a friend.

Real simple. And, no, I, I, you know what? I was going to give you another health story because there's actual bubombic plague going, out in Wyoming right now. And sometimes we have the stories of the plague in Colorado and not like this. But a third cat in Wyoming in this past year has come down with the bubonic plague. And just something to look forward to.

What is that? What's a bobbotic plague? No, seriously, what is that? It's what killed the world years ago. Really? The plague. The black plague? All right, I'm not going to read it to you, but you can read it to me what the Bubani plague is.

All right, go ahead. So everyone knows exactly what the bubotic plague is. And we know it's not good. And we know damn well that the Dallas County Health and Human Services would at least leave a card on your door. Yeah. Concerned that the Bubonic plague is ready to spread in Dallas. So they'd be concerned, you know, eight to four Monday through Thursday. Yes, that's it.

Other than that, though. You're screwed. So it's, uh, Bacteria, flu-like symptoms that develops fever, headache, and vomiting. Swollen and painful limp nodes. On the skin area, but only on the upper thigh. That is really interesting. It talks about being in the upper thigh and then occasionally, you know, like always,

they make open and then just cause other plagues. Oh, yeah. But this is believed. It's spread from rats. Yes. And then, okay, so you said bubonate plague, but if you say the black death, then I wouldn't know what it was. Would you?

Yes. Would you? Yes. Absolutely. Would you? Yes. We're done here.