Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 203 | Fat Pile Friday - BrownFace Edition

Episode Date: September 20, 2019

Don't worry nobody here is like Justin Trudeau, but Jeffy has an interesting perspective on this new black/brown face coming out of Canada. Then we have a weird/horny judge saying some comments that shouldn't be said on the bench. Voicemails are BACK and Jeffy plays them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. You cannot say anything anymore without people getting all bent out of shape. So there's a retired judge in Bermuda that was on, you know, he's sitting on the bench, a junior Supreme Court judge. He's retired now. So this was like a year or two ago. And he was presiding over a murder trial. And the defendant was on the stand, and they were talking about her relationship.

relationship with this other person and the judge said, man, all this sex talk is beginning to get me horny. And so now, now the murderer's attorney is saying, hey, hey, hey, that was wrong. We need a new trial. What? Come on. So they took it to the England's court of appeals and they said, uh, yeah, now. And he's fine. Get over it. Look, what he said was, uh, you know, not smart. And, It was kind of bad, but it didn't affect the trial, so get over it. See what I mean? You can't say anything anymore without people getting bent out of shit. Sad.

Welcome to Fat File Friday. I was actually reading a little bit more of what was going out of the case from the transcript of that case. Really funny. Because it wasn't funny at all. I mean, it was horrible. Horrible. But they were mad because the judge let foul language fly in the courtroom, too. from the defendant.

Oh, he repeatedly called the man bad words. Again, get over it. That's what the appeals court said. It's what the judge thought at the time. The judge was just like, hey, keep up all the sex talk, man. It's getting me horny. That's something you would say here, a judge. So sad.

You're not supposed to do that. Yeah, that's right. You're a judge. You're a judge. See, that's what gets those judges in trouble, though. We do those stories all the time. We talked about the judge out of New Jersey and you know who I am. Doesn't matter.

You're a judge. You can do whatever. As soon as you get that black robe and the wig, you're done, you can do whatever you want. I know. It's a good gig. It is a good gig. Really good gig. What do you think the Supreme Court justice are freaking like the best job in this country?

Yeah. That is the best job you can get in this country. That's a good gig, man. Yeah. You know the Supreme Court justice. How long is the job for it? Until I decide or die. Think about it.

The guy that is there right now, had some other guy grab his penis and thrust it to someone else and he's your judge. Come on, you can do anything you want. A, he wasn't a judge at the time. B, it didn't happen. That's not true. That's not, come on now.

Talk about the guy that, you know. Look, I'm standing around at a party. How many times you stand around in a party? Five. Naked. Five times. Naked just standing there hanging out with your friends at a party naked.

and then your buddy comes up and grabs your wiener and thrust it into somebody's face. Come on. That's happened to you? Welcome to Fat Pile Friday on Chewing the Fat. Nice of you to come along for the ride today. I really appreciate it. I mean, I've got a ton of stories. We've got a ton of voicemails to go through.

We do? We do. Have you told me what voicemails I'm playing? I have now. I've got a list right here in front of me. Can you, do you mind giving me that list? It's right here in front of me. Yeah.

Can you give me the number so I can just write them down and at least play them? because by you saying a number, nothing's going to happen. What do you mean? Nothing's going to happen. If you say a number, that means you play the freaking voicemail. If you tell me right now, hey, Chris, play this voicemail. Nothing's going to happen. Oh, okay.

Try it, try. Just try it. All right, Chris, played voicemail 10,217. That's not the voicemail. You said nothing was going to happen, but that's the wrong voicemail. I don't know why someone would call and leave, crickets on voicemail. Well, you know, I would, I would replay it.

That'd be one of the voicemails that didn't make it. I'm just saying. As a producer, I need to know what voicemails are you going to play so I can play them. All right. You're going to play 10,000, 217. You're going to play 11,0218. You're going to play 10,000, 223. I'm out of order.

I've got to go stick to just 10,000. Okay, so 10,000, 217, 10,000, 2,3, 10,000, 22,5. And then we get into the 11,000s. 11,218, 11,000, 227. These are all 11,000s, okay? Okay. 226. I got a comment on that one.

No, I got a comment on, I said I need 230, 231. This is 11,000, right? Yes. Did I say 10,000, 225? Yes. No, you don't need to air let. I just need to comment about that one. Okay.

So I got 217, 218, 223, 225. 27, 26. Oh, yeah, the first ones are in the 10,000. Okay. And then the ones on the 11,000, 218, 2,27, 263031. Yes. Okay, I'll get this. Gee, thanks.

Appreciate you doing your job. Appreciate it. So anyway, we've got all kinds of stories out here on Fat Pile Friday. I'm telling, I don't know where, honestly, I don't know where to start because every time I turn around this week, we haven't had time to get to everything. I wanted to talk to you about.

There are so many great stories. I want to first thank you for coming along for chewing the fat. And I want to thank you again for realizing that, look, I try my darnness to steer away from the politics of the day. I know we get into it a little bit. We touch on it a little bit, and sometimes it feels right to get into it because some of it is so maddening. but on the other hand

everyone else does that everyone else does that and you know it's tough there are days when you just don't want to be like everyone else you know that you know that you're I know you're just like me

you just don't want to be like everybody else and then there are days when you want to be like everybody else and you want to fit in so you talk about how great Trump is or how bad Trump is

or You talk about what's happening and the questioning as they're calling Lewandowski into in front of Congress. And Jerry Nadler, that douche who gets embarrassed by a witness. See, this is where normally I would get cut off. But since I knew that Chris wasn't paying attention, I was just going to go farther and farther until he finally realized, hey, how far am I going to be supposed to live? let him go and then he would play the music. So we'll go to this. I did the story on a Pat on Wednesday about how women are flocking to plastic surgeons

to fix their resting bitch face. RBF. Amazing. We've talked about it so many times on this show, the plastic surgery that's going on. You look at television and you cannot, other than when you see me on television. Like if you're watching this show, you know that plastic surgery has not happened. or it's a failed product. It's either it hasn't happened

or it's actually been, it's failed if you're looking at me on chewing the fat. But there's a lot of success stories on television, a lot of success stories. There's also plenty of stories that, you know, you know that they are working my theory of three cuts to clown face. They're absolutely working that theory.

Now, some of the things that they're now putting in your face, which, see, I think they're calling it plastic, surgery, but it's not really plastic surgery. Like their doctors are using techniques as, you know, injection of fillers into the face. Sometimes they use Botox. Sometimes they use other things. There's all kinds of different products that different doctors are injecting into people's faces. They want to inject the fillers into the lines to get rid of them.

And they want to inject it from the lips, the corners of lips into the jaw line, underneath the lips to plump it up and reangle the mouths. They use hyluronic acid dermal fillers. I mean, plus the Botox. What are you shooting up in your body? I mean, doing that just so your face looks good.

Okay. Bless your heart. Bless your heart. I hope it works out for you. And then you have the story about the guy who has the devil horn coming out of his head. And if you haven't seen the picture of this guy. Let me, I'm going to hold it up. What cameras? Are this one here? This camera's

on. I'm going to hold the picture up. Look at it. It is amazing. When you think of this guy's got the devil horn, like you've seen the, you saw the guy that had the plastic surgery to have the horns implanted in his head. And they're just a little rounded horns on the bald head. So it has a little devil horns. That's what you think of with this guy and his devil horn. It's a tree stump coming out of his head, man. Look at that. Look at that picture. It's a unicorn. It's amazing. And the guy is 74 years old, dude. You've lived with that tree stump this long. Just leave it. It's you now. It's you. I mean, you can wear you. You're the one guy that could wear a couple of hats at the same time. Sure, you got to have a big hole in one of them fit over the tree stump. Sure. On top of which,

look at this picture. I don't want to, you know, I hate to judge. But when you look at this picture, look this. I want to turn this around to the camera. Dude, trim the eyebrows. Dude, just a little bit of grooming. I realize at some point, probably at about, I don't know, 30 years ago, he's like, I've got a tree stump growing out of my head. I don't care what my eyebrows look like.

I'm sure that's probably what he's thinking. But me, I mean, you want to, you know, do a little grooming. It's all on that. Do a little grooming. Please. And then we get to the apps that are now getting all wound up because of the, they don't want you to have any filters on your apps. Everybody uses the filters.

That's what Snapchat is. Snapchat is just a filter app to make you look silly, goofy, better, thinner, fatter, stupid cat face, whatever it is. Why are you looking at me like that? A filter can't make you look stupid. What a bet? Perhaps you haven't spent an afternoon on Snapchat. Snapchat.

And you have... I, Mr. Snapchat. What is your handle? I love Snapchat. What's your Snapchat handle? Jeff Fisher Radio. Oh, okay. I think.

I never remember what it is. I can't remember what it is. I mean, Twitter and Instagram is Jeff, I mean, Facebook and Instagram is Jeff Fisher Radio, and Twitter is at Jeff EJFR. I think my Snapchat is Jeff Fisher Radio. Hold on. Let me go to the...

I go to Snapchat now. I got it right here. I don't even have it on my front pages, which is kind of disheartening. I have to actually look for it. Because my, there is Snapchat. Snapchat. Let's go out here.

Discover, it doesn't say friends. Discover it doesn't say what it is. It doesn't say what it is. Gosh, darn it. I've got a lot of friends on Snapchat. Maybe I'll be out of start using that app. Anyway, so now there's,

dating website, which we all use plenty of fish. I mean, everybody's heard of plenty of fish dating website, right? Yeah. No. You never used it? That's one of the first dating website, POF. Oh, POF, yes. Duh.

I didn't think that was, I didn't realize that stood for plenty of fish. Oh, see, duh. I mean, we all, look, we all use Tinder. Everyone uses Tinder, but plenty of fish, I believe, is still trying to hang on. And they're blending filters. on the platform.

What? Come on. Okay, so they did a survey. And of course, you know, the survey, 70% of singles think face filtered photos are deceptive. Thank you. That's the point. The filters make users look more attractive than they really are. Thank you.

Cute accessories such as bunny ears. If you look at a picture of a girl or a guy, or whatever they're identifying as with bunny ears. And you think to yourself, oh, I want to meet that person because they've got bunny ears. You deserve to be misled. You deserve to go out a day to go, how come you don't have bunny ears?

You're dumb is what that is. Next thing you know, you're going to be telling me that you want to swim the English channel four times without stopping. That's what's going to happen. So, I mean, 31%. Now, this is more of their survey. 31% confessed to exaggerating their level of education, their level of income.

Duh. But, hey, it's the Internet. I'm supposed to tell the truth? Yes? Whatever. It's the Internet. Okay? Now, I know that, you know, the match group, you know, that owns OKCupid and Tinder,

they're all going through looking at them. Are you kidding me? The whole point of dating is to you want to make yourself look good, right? Look better. And if that's the filter, that's the filter. And if you can't go out on a date and make that decision on your own at the time, if you need an ad, that's sad. If you walk into a restaurant and you go,

ooh, that looks like her and she doesn't have her bunny ears. And you think to yourself, I still have to go through with this. No, you don't. No, you don't. It's just agonizing. But there you go. That's what you get. That's what you get.

Stop having fun with your life. Trying to, stop trying to misrepresent yourself online. Okay. Don't, you don't want, you want to tell the truth 100% of the truth

all the time online. Don't be deceptive with your filtered photo with your bunny ears on. And speaking of stupid. Now, because it's deceptive, we've got to get all wound up. NYC developers constantly lie

about how tall their buildings are. Really? You think? I mean, come on. Now, what they're wound up about is that you got on the 96 floor. Well, it's not really the 96 floor. In fact, it's the 88th floor because they don't have the 3rd. And no building has the floor 13. They never put that in. So right there is a deceptive saying the tall in the southern bill right there right there you're done they don't one than 13 so it's we're going up to 96 okay that doesn't make it has to be 9600 feet 96 feet 96000 feet sorry it's just 496 that's what we called it that's what you get it's absolutely agonizing if you have the 95th floor in your address that's going to be impressive to pretty

much everyone. Is it? Okay, so if it's not really, if it's only 88, how can I live? How can I live? If I say I'm living on the 96th floor and it's only the 88th in real life. I'm going to go take a picture with bunny ears.

All right, we're going to go through some voicemails. Plus I've got a couple other stories I'd love to talk to you about today. We'll get to it on Fat Pile Friday. Don't forget, though, the voicemails. are from the CTF hotline, 214-7359-356, powered by Patriot Mobile. But I have a voicemail that I'm really concerned about,

and I got it yesterday, and I didn't hardly sleep last night. I didn't hardly sleep, because I'm going to let you listen, I'm going to let you listen to just the beginning of it. The Federal Crime and Investigation Department. We need to talk to you as soon as possible. Okay, it's not only from the Federal Crime and Investigation Department,

that's from the Social Security Department. And I'm actually a little scared. You mean for a scam? No. That's a scam. What? Yeah, there's no such thing as neither of those things. There's certainly a Social Security Department.

There's certainly a federal crime and investigation department. They wouldn't call you. I mean, I think that the Federal Crime and Investigation Department is the Federal Bureau of Investigation as the technical name. That's just me. It's just me a little silly. Silly me.

Are you sure about that? Yeah, pretty sure that they call it something else. But it's all. That's all, though. I was raised playing board games, card games, forever. I mean, as a little kid, I mean, I watched my adult family members

play card games and board games, and then I was forced into it, and then you grow into liking it and liking the battle of the board game, whether it's aggravation or Monopoly or Othello or Backgammon, which I haven't played in a while, by the way. But I wanted to talk to Ian Livingstone, who has a new book out, board games in 100 moves, 8,000 years of play. Ian, welcome to chewing the fat.

How are you today, sir? I'm great, thank you. Looking forward to my next ballgame. So, first, what prompted you to look into 8,000 years of play? That is just fascinating. Well, I thought after 8,000 years, it's time somebody told the story. Amen. So I've been engaged my whole life.

At school, I played lots of games in Monopoly and played chess for the school. Yeah. It became a collector of games, a designer of games. And my first company was a games company, a company called Games Workshop. We launched Dungeons and Dragons in the UK back in the 1970s. Yeah. Every guy gets the inventor became a good friend of mine. We had the European distribution rights.

So I was totally immersed in games. I've got over 1,000 board games at home. I run a games group. I've been doing it since the 1980s. And I think games kind of help define us of who we are as human beings. And, you know, there's a lot to like about them. Yeah, for sure. Friends or family around the table, having a lot of fun, doing deals,

stabbing people in the back and laughing about it as you renege on the deals, trying to get that edge. It's a battle of wits. And it's just very lighthearted entertainment. And in this digital world in which we find ourselves immersed, it's not to have a bit of physical entertainment as well as digital entertainment. I think the same way said for final records and physical books. It's nice to have a bit of a balance there.

It's also a way to actually get to know people. I mean, when you talk about family members, which, you know, I mean, if you were raised with playing games, you know, that, you know, family members and, you know, Uncle Hank is the guy that cheats. And, you know, Aunt Marilyn, she always, you know, always forgets a rule. And, you know, I mean, we've all lived through that. But it's also a good way to get to know people if you have, you know, if you have any kind of small party and you don't know the people, you can play a game.

And you get pretty familiar with people pretty fast while you play a game. Yeah, their personality really comes out very fast. Yes, it does. If you're having, in polite conversation, you don't always understand or know what that person is. But if they play a game, the math comes off. So I'm looking through your book, Your 8,000 years of play. What did you find as was one of the earliest games that, you know, one of the earliest games that, people, you know, brought to the, you know, brought to their living quarters?

Well, the earliest known game was, was, came out 5,000 years ago. It was called Senate. It was a simple race game with abstract pieces. Pretty boring, actually. But nevertheless, the game of the time, and it was enjoyed by everyone living in the Middle East, particularly Egypt, Putin Kamun was a big fan of the game. And when he passed away, he had four copies, interned with him in his tomb, which were found when the tomb was opened in the 1900. So, again, it just shows that games is not a new phenomenon. It's a part of human culture that's lived with us forever. So I was fascinated to read that a game that I was forced to play

because my aunt was in charge of the state library, and so we had to read and we had to know words, was the game Scrabble. And I was fascinated to read that that game almost didn't exist, right? I mean, it took a while for that game to actually take off. Yeah, it was invented by this guy called Alfred Butts, who called it Criss Cross Words. And he was an unemployed architect, and he made his own copies and really struggled to find a market for his game. And he thought he should revise it, so he changed the quantity of the letters.

So he put more ease in and less chase, for example, trying to get the right balance. Right. He finally gave up. And he sold the rights to a guy called James Bruno, who changed the name to Scrabble. Also, without success, having made his own sets.

But luckily, the chairman of Macy's had bought a copy, who liked it so much, he ordered 2,500 sets for Macy's. Wow. They set out pretty quickly, and James couldn't keep up with the demand, so he sold the rights of Shell and Richter, and they probably sold 2 million copies, making him a very rich man, unlike Alfred Butts. So, you know, these things can be in the balance, whether they're going to be hits or not.

So in today's world, with our phones and our tablets, and we have so many games that, you know, are used through the applications on our phone that are, you know, we're playing them against the phone, you know, against the computer. How difficult is it to create a board game and then actually make it happen and get it out to the public? Well, ironically, because of the internet, board games are being made in much greater numbers because of the internet. Wow, great.

The biggest factor, I'd say, is the fact crowdfunding platforms like Kickstarter enable anybody to design a game and pre-sell it, selling it to a global audience through the platform. If they get the funding, then they can ship that game. And if it's popular, then it might go into manufacturing with a traditional publisher. Then you can also get review scores online. You can see tutorials online. and of course, e-commerce allows you to buy games through Amazon, etc. Sure.

Anywhere in the world. It doesn't matter where you live. So this infrastructure has now labeled a lot more games to actually come to market. So in your book, what is your favorite game? I mean, you talked about you've got a thousand games at the house, and, you know, you've played all these games, and you've been a creator and a marketer and a player. What's your favorite game? that's in the book that you wish more people would play?

Well, that is a terrible question. It's a bit like, which is my favorite child, and I've got four of them. Well, first of all, let's find out. We'll find out who your favorite child is. I mean, it's just between you and me. Nobody else will hear it. Yeah, yeah. My secret's safe with you in the internet, right?

So getting back to game. I think I've got four kids. give four games, I guess. So I think from a classic point of view and a pure admiration for the game itself, it has to be chess, although I don't play it very much anymore. Dungeon Dragons,

because it's so much part of my life in the 70s and knowing digacts and everything. And then of the modern day games, I like Ticket to Ride. And... I've ever played that.

What else? That's from Alan Moon. also resides in the U.S. I really like splendor now and then. It's very difficult. I could go on for about four hours, which is my favorite game. I mean, there's hundreds as well.

I don't like at all, but... All right, well, what's the game that you dislike the most? I don't know which is the diso' You know which kid you don't like, so just tell me what game you don't like. You know what it is. It's going on to the good stuff

I mean the 100 games in the book Are not all ones I like A lot But they have to be there Because they're kind of historically important Okay But there are obviously a lot That I do like

But the sum is just there Because they're kind of a milestone in gaming history I mean they like the Royal Game of Goose Beautiful four-color page You see in the book Beautiful bore from Victorian times Absolutely boring as hell to play It's just moving

rolling the dice and moving your piece around this lovely but ultimately but also the Victorian games

played in the 1800s were just simply that nothing but moving a piece because of the roll of the dice so they were

100% luck and so things only changed in the 1900s really because of you can bring that back

to Elizabeth McGee who had invented this game called the landlord's game in 1903. Right, that turns into monopoly. Right, that, that game turned into monopoly. She didn't gain from that, unfortunately.

She made it and failed, but Charles Darrow, an engineer, had seen a copy of the landlord's game and made his own version and changed it quite a bit and called his version Monopoly, which was the Parker Brothers and became a millionaire of it. But without the Landlords game, he would not have created Monopoly. We were just talking about that because Monopoly, created the Ms. Monopoly off of the main board, and we were just talking about, I wasn't

aware of the Landlords game except a couple weeks ago. And it was fascinating that someone created this game, and you're right. The actual game that we all that I grew up loving to play would have never happened without the Landlords game. But that's true

with a lot of derivatives. Right, and that's true with your hundred games in the book, right? I mean, really, the boring goose game brought games that we all love, but you had to start somewhere. Yeah, but the Lano's game and Monopoly had certain squares that were virtually identical and the same way of playing. There's a strong overlap there. But, you know, that's life, I guess.

So we're talking to Ian Livingstone, who is the author of Board Games in 100 Moves, 8,000 years of play. And I'm fascinated that I was, I'm really surprised to live. learned that because of the internet, board games have actually grown and become more and more because we hear so much about, you know, the disconnect between, you know, adults and children and family and friends, yet board games bring us all together. So it seems almost counterintuitive. Yes, and despite the fact that a lot of retail has disappeared, traditional game shops disappear, but because of this online world now, commerce and community, ball games are flourishing, and the fact that they can be funded through the internet too.

So long may that continue. So your favorite, really, your favorite games that you like to play are the role-playing ones, so it's less boring, right? I mean, I don't play role-playing so much these days. I mean, it's just, again, a very personal thing for me, the whole D&D thing. we don't really play D&D anymore but it was a big part of my life

With your favorite child What was your favorite child's name again? Don't have a favorite Right roll call I just got I forgot your favorite child's name After I wanted to get it off the top of my head What I was thinking

What game do you play with your children now Is there a game that you get together And you think Oh we're gonna you know We're gonna play this tonight Yeah we play tickets to ride, that's a good family favorite. It's a railway game.

We're building networks of railway roads and having to deliver passengers from one town to another. I mean, it's not too heavy, but it still requires thoughts and planning. So it's a good introductory game that has

some depth to it. But the purest games, if you're to go back to thousands of years, like the game of Go, from Asia, That is probably the purest game on the planet. There's only two types of pieces. One person has the white stones, the other person has the black stones.

There's a 19 by 19 grid. And you place a stone with the object of fencing off the most area. And so you're trying to surround the other players or trying to cord off bits of the board. So that's not, I mean... It's already in two seconds, but it takes a lifetime to understand the complexity because of the number of combinations possible.

So that's the beginning. I mean, that's the kind of Othello, right? I mean, that's the game that I grew up playing with was Othello. That's kind of the same thing, right? It's, yeah, it's a kind of, I wouldn't say dumb down, but it's a much more accessible version of it. Right, right, right, right, right. You're trying to gain as much ground from the other stones as you can.

Fascinating. Yeah, I mean, Ludo was a derivative of a much more complex game called Potscheezy. so yeah there's no there's nothing I guess it's original these days but what what prompted okay so no okay so aside from the the board games with card games uh you know you have a deck of cards when did when did cards become so prominent that that's kind of uh I mean it's the it's not a board game but they became pretty prominent and so did a lot of card games yeah again card games go back a long time from the around about 1300s and to present day And of course, these days, you know, Texas Holden is a huge card game,

but more for the ballgame type, I mean, these collectible card games, the deck building games like Magic the Gathering, has become a phenomenal success. The Magic of the Gathering actually has a chance to join the Toy Hall of Fame this year in New York. It's up for it. That's right. I know. Thank you. It's the collectibility of the game, the number of combinations of combining different cards together to try and beat your opponents, and of course the rarity value. Some of these cards were really, really rare and become worth thousands of dollars themselves, like the Black Lotus card, for example,

worth several thousand dollars if you could find one. Wow, I'm going to have to go back and look at my box full of games. Ian Livingstone, author of Aboard Games in 100 Moves. 8,000 years of play. Ian, thank you very much for joining us. I appreciate it, sir. Thank you very much. Go play a game.

And I promise, I promise, I won't tell your family who you said was your favorite kid. Yeah, what's it? Oh, it was her name? I can't remember now. All right, before we get to voice, more of more voicemails, and we've got plenty of them to get to.

We're getting more and more stories about people struggling with their emotional support animals. And it's hard to take it. I think we need to, we need to redirect some compassion in our lives. Like Leroy, a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, wandered off to Brennan Elementary School in Columbia, South Carolina.

Now, they're giving McGregor Wallace all kinds of citations, and they're saying you can't have a pig within city limits, you've got a fugitive pet. The pig just wanted to play with some kids. He broke out, go to the school. Wallace said, hey, Leroy is my emotional support animal,

okay? I got PTSD, I got domestic. He has domestic trauma, and he needs a pig. Now, he got Leroy several months ago because his standard pig that he had for emotional support got too big. Got too big. So this pig, he now says he's clever. He knows how to open the gates and knows how to get out of the house.

So he just takes off. And this pig also knows how to open the refrigerator. I mean, that's pretty good. If you get a pig that knows how to open the refrigerator, you know where they're going to end up anyway. At least they know where they're going to end up. And we had the lady in Missouri who's got monkeys for emotional support and the neighbors are like monkeys are scary and they're mean.

You can't have the monkeys around for emotional support. I mean, come on. You can't even have monkeys around anymore. Monkeys are nasty and they're mean, man. You don't be messing with monkeys. Can I quote you on that? Yes. You'll be messing with monkeys around anymore.

You just start having primates around, man. Woof. Okay. I think you better off with a human. It's just me. But, you know, what do I know? If you have domestic trauma and need a monkey, bless your heart. Voice mails.

We've had one caller that sounded like it was under the duress of a lot of marijuana. Yeah, go ahead. Let me have that hit. show, bro. Thank you. Best podcast ever. Thanks, man. Thanks, man.

Is that it? I mean, dude, would you die? This got really high. It was just so good. That bowl was so good. I did have anything else to say at the time. You know how it is, man. You've hit those bowls before.

We're just after you exhale, it's just like, whoa. I didn't want to say anything. Now, this voicemail, 10,0218 is a great idea and I hesitate to play it because it really is a good idea.

Hi, Chris and Jeffey. I'm a subscriber of course. I've rated it five stars and I've shared it. Should have been 20, but thank you. I'm calling regarding the Houseboy's Monopoly. I think this is a wonderful idea. I love it. I'm a housewife.

I have an idea for one of the community trust card. First, there should be a, or, you know, the go-to, go-to-divorce court instead of jail. Right. And there should also be become a trophy wife card, collect $2,000 from every other player. I mean, that's a... This would be great and a lot of fun. I do, too. I do, too.

That is a tremendous idea, house-wife-monopoly. I'm telling you, put it together. and get it to Parker Brothers. Put it together right now. I mean, put it the whole, everything, you know, like one area is the kitchen. One area is the, you know, the garage. And I love the divorce court.

I love the trophy wife collect 2000. You know, pass the, are you passing the kitchen? Are you passing the, you're passing the shower, get $200 or something? I mean, send it to Parker Brothers right now. Housewife Monopoly. Tremendous idea. I love it. I love it.

And then we could just go to the house husband monopoly, but housewife monopoly works great. And your favorite game piece would be, you know, like of a mitts. Go ahead. You know, then we talked to, uh, we talked to 23, 10,000, I wrote down. My note says Ebola voice, Chris Cruz. So let's see. Oh, that's why.

Yeah. A long. I know what it is now. Go ahead. Long time listener, my friend. I need to know. Because it eats me up and thought. Every single day, is Chris Cruz the voice behind the Ebola-free song?

I will listen to you every single day. I will await my answer. Thank you. But it is literally eating me inside. I have no idea what to do with myself, and I need to know. Okay. Is Chris Cruz the Ebola-free voice? Godspeed, Jeffrey Fisher.

Listen, thank you so much for the kind of words. And I love you for the kind of words. I love you for listening, and I love it to you, and I'm sorry that it's eating you alive like that. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. 10,225, I just want to talk to you a little bit about this. This was a bad connection, voicemail. Now, the question was, what's better, Kraft or Velvita cheese? You could make that out, but the connection was bad.

Some of the connections that we have on these voicemails aren't necessarily bad. it's just because people, I'm going to give you a little in-service here. Just a quick CTF in service on how to talk into a microphone. Let's say you're talking on your cell phone, for example, and you're leaving a voicemail.

Don't put your voice on a voice on a cell phone. You can hold the phone, you can actually hold the phone a little bit away from your voice so that the microphone picks up your voice. That's what the microphone is there for so that you don't have to Okay, it's just a little helpful hint.

A little helpful hint for me. It's all. And I never did answer what's better than Kraft and Velvita. It really just depends on what you have in front of you. Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts.

All right, thanks for sticking around. We're in the dessert section here on Fat Pile Friday and we just started into some voicemails for you. So we'll just, you know, we'll finish up some voicemails. We had, we had, I give you a little, you know, it's a little helpful hint on how to talk on a cell phone when you leave a message. We have, uh, uh, we're in the 11,000s now, 11,000 227. Doing the fat with Jeff Tishier and Chris, you all are hitting all of my hot button topics.

This is J.D. and Houston. You talked about Chicken Express and now we're talking about Wendy's breakfast. I love the. Wendy's breakfast. Only certain words operate right now. But it is incredible. The honey butter chicken is desired for. I don't even know like oatmeal bars.

And they'll have these bad oatmeal bars. What fresh are you made? Oh, my goodness. You're chewing the fact that you're 20 stars with these breakfasts. It comes in a close second with 19 stars. Love you guys.

Can't wait to hear the show. Well, J.D., thank you so much. Why is he calling from the bathroom? I don't know. He probably didn't want people to know he was going to talk to us. Yeah, but he's so loud, though. Right?

So why you talk to her from the bathroom? I'd also like to say that, you know, the real joke would have been that, you know, Wendy's Biscuits came in, you know, 18. So let's go to 11,0231 as long as we're on Biscuits, because this guy actually lived what I talked about and is proof that it works. Hey, Jesse and Chris, it's Brian from Tyler again.

Hey, Brian. I heard your Friday show talking about how Jeffrey would never, ever be the one to cook extra food at the end if you worked at Wendy. Thank you. You know, I worked at McDonald's about 20 years ago, and I was in college, and I was for. And I asked one of the guys, hey, could you just put an extra tray of biscuits in, you know, towards the end of that way if people wanted them, they were available? I would never do that, but, of course. Also, if there's some left over, I can have them during my shift and eat for free and so on and so forth. And every single time he did it.

So I think the fact of the limitations is over, but just wanted to share that story. And the McDonald's biscuits are still some of the best biscuits ever for fast food. 20 stars, best podcast ever. Talk to that. Come on. Proof that it works. I mean, of course you do that. The story was that Wendy's was the guy was taking what was extra, right?

Of course. Nobody's throwing that away. And you always, if you're an employee there, work in a morning shift? You're fired. You are. No, you're always. You're fired. You're, you're guessing, an educated guest that more customers are coming in for breakfast.

It is 10.20 a.m. and you're going to have a full tray of biscuits that takes six minutes to cook. Look at the cars in the drive-thru. So now that you are 926 and you're all 24 biscuits. Look at the drive-thru line. It's empty. Look at all the cars in the drive-thru line. There's no cars in the drive-thru.

You can't see around the corner, but they're back. Oh, they're backed up? Yeah. Plus, look at the people in the parking lot that are coming up. No, nobody's coming up. They're backed up because they're ready for lunch. And you just cost us an entire. trail of biscuits.

Oh, well. Life's a bitch, isn't it? I'll take them. Exactly what they won't say. All right, so 11,000-226. Oh, yeah, this guy was calling because he's trying to make up. Hey, Jeffrey.

My name's Trey. I need to apologize to you firsthand. When I did my review, which I will be changing today, I said that Chris Cruz was the best part of your show. That was until he called me a dick or sending a text message to this number.

Okay, pause. Right. And look, Chris was just hurt. It's all. He's just a little angry. It's okay. It was okay. Let's just send a text message.

Don't worry about it. He'll get over it. I was just trying to share me with my buddy, Jesse. See, stop. He was just trying. to be nice. Now how do you feel, Dick? I'm not talking to J.D. here, Trey. Trey.

Funny. That doesn't really convey their voice now. You know, I don't know why he's angry. Maybe because, you know, he went in, joined the cheer force and said, you know, a full branch of the military, like the United States. Right. Just saying, we could totally do their job. But, hey, Jeffrey, if you're ever looking for

a replacement producer, I just want you to know I'm throwing my name into the hat. You know, the balls in your court, whatever you want to do, you have my number. Just give me a call back, and we'll work something out. Talk to you later.

Bye. Okay, well, I appreciate it. It means a lot to me. And look, I realize it's trying to undercut Chris. You bad mouth them. He said how bad he is. And, of course, he joined the worst part of the branch of the military. I mean, we all know that.

And the sad thing is, what you're assuming is that I, do have your number. He has control of the phone lines. I do. Sid Dick has a control of the phone lines. So guess what? Number deleted.

11,230. We're looking for 11,020230. Jesse, this is Tony from the great state of South Carolina. I apologize for Lindsey Graham. I'm just wondering why you keep having a gay consuela from family guy keep showing up on your show or is it the transvestite Kloniwa. I cannot tell if it's the gay one or the transvestite one.

But I think it's both. I'm just curious. Other than that, hey, great show, great show. I know. Love listening. Can't wait for you. It pisses me out that it's so little show. It's about half of what that Glenn guy's show is. And that makes me mad. because this is really all I've got in my world anymore. I drive around listening to chewing the fat, CTF, and love it. Jeffie?

Praise be. And Christopher, thank you. God bless. Praise be. Now, I would say, I would say perhaps, you know, you were right on just about everything you talked about. I would say that at some point here in the near future, and this is just throwing this out,

just throwing this out there before you to think about, you know, try to find something else to do once in a while. Of course, you're never going to stop listening to chewing. I know that. But, I mean, don't let us be the only thing. Just diversify a little bit. Just diversify a little bit. Diversify a little bit.

Yeah, you know, Glenn knows we talked about the divert. No, don't bring up what Glenn says. We're not talking about. We don't like Glenn right. We don't? No, that's the whole point of what his call was. Glenn's got more time than me. Yeah, but like, uh,

yeah, but nothing. You get to pick how. long you speak for so I do not you do I do not I cut you off that is not true okay I know you like to think that but that's not true that's not true no it is not you can only speak for 40 minutes and a little bit extra on the five-pie those are the rules I added two more to this voicemail 20,238 okay this was from yesterday Commissioner Jesse, I have a suggestion for more on trivia. If you cannot get somebody to answer their phone from a local convenience store,

maybe you can get a Chris Cruz still-in. Just my idea? Tell me what you think. Have a great day. Okay, as funny as that sounds, but we've been down this road before. Okay. More on trivia is science. Sure, it would be funny to do that, but it throws the whole wrench.

The whole wrench in the fire. The whole thing is gone then. You've screwed up the whole thing. The point is we call convenience stories. They answer the questions. Then we predict the outcome because of that. We start messing around with that. It screws up the whole thing.

And, I mean, it's like universal law. We just live by it. We don't make it. Next. You're shaking your head. Hi, Jeffrey. Hi, Chris. I was just going to let you all know.

Like, can you please not use, like, gender, like, language and stuff? When you're referring to people, it's just not, it's just not, like, like, just don't use gender language, okay? And also, I just want to tell you, too, like, I got a lot of, like, anxiety and stuff, and if you could please, I'm not. it's hard because it's like on the radio, but do you please just tone it down a little bit?

Because it bothers my anxiety. And, you know, I mean, oh, it has something in my throat. The hair. Can you please just tone it down a little bit and like,

because of my anxiety level. And we need to make the show more handicapped accessible. You know what I mean? Just take care of us. You know, it's with special needs. Make this show more handicapped accessible. Bye, Jeffrey. There is wonderful job, you guys. But just keep the gender line that's in the tone down for me.

Okay. This is Sebastian. Bye-bye. Thank you, Sebastian. Point of personal privilege. Oh, yeah, go ahead. I'll attempt to tone it down more. No problem.

I don't know how we can make it more handicapped accessible. We have a handicapped person on the show. Hey, don't be talking bad about it by yourself. I'm just saying we have a handicapped person on the show. I don't know how to make it more handicap accessible. I mean, you park it, you can park in the regular handicap section or you can park in the van accessible handicap section. Either one.

Both. Wow. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah, either one. I mean, you're welcome. Either one. Yeah.

Is it illegal to you of somebody else's handicap? No. I have my grandparents because I don't, I'm handicapped in every, I'm handicapped in every few. She used to go to the DMV, so I just took my grandparents one and I used it. Yeah, that's illegal. But I'm handicapped. It doesn't matter. I'm legally handicapped.

Even if you could get one for yourself, you're supposed to get one for yourself. You're not supposed to be using other peoples. I mean, I do know that. The handicapped officials? Society. The people that are in charge of the handicappers. Whoa, there's people in charge? Yeah.

Huh. So the ACA? I don't know. The MMA. No, no, MMA's the fighters. Yeah, the wheelchair pushers have their own. They do, yeah. Yeah, the whole union, yes, yes.

But they're not part of the... No, they're not part of the ACA. The handicapped. Or the ACLU. Is the ACLU resent them? No, well, they would probably help. Yeah, they'd probably help out, yeah. I don't know how we could do that.

Plus, do we do a lot of gender stuff? We do, yeah, definitely. Sorry, Sebastian. Right there? You already... genderize him. Sorry. I did?

Yeah. How did I do that? Sebastian. He said that's what his name was. Done. Can you please be a little sensitive? And tone it down, please. Speaking of toned it down,

if I have to hear anything more about Justin Freakin' Trudeau and his black and brown face, I may explode. Okay? It's out of control. I may explode. Okay, I'm just telling you, all right? I understand that it feels good.

that these duches for lack of a, well, no, it's not a lack of another word. It's because you're on broadcast right now. Are eating their own good. But Jeffrey, did you think about it? Good. Did you ever thought that in 2019, not only you had to defend Donald Trump,

you have to defend Justin Trudeau? I don't want to defend them. But you have to. Are you kidding me? You have to defend it. Okay. He still has a job. Yes, well so far, yes.

The governor still has a job, the governor of Virginia, who was blackface. He was blackface in school. Oh, he did the same? Yes. Yeah. Megan Kelly fired from her network position. Because she did blackface. No, you know what funny thing is she didn't.

Are you sure? She asked a question about blackface. Yeah, and then she went out and then did blackface. She partied. There were pictures everywhere of her, except that there wasn't. It's absolutely agonizing. And do I care about Justin Trudeau? He's the biggest douche ever.

He jumps on every one of these bandwagons. My favorite quote from him, though, was when they were asking him about, were there other instances where you're concerned that you're a racist? I've always, and you'll know this. This is Justin Trudeau quote. I've always, and you'll know this, been more enthusiastic about costumes than is sometimes appropriate. Now that is funny.

I've been more enthusiastic about costumes than is sometimes appropriate. I think that could be said about anyone. I think that could pretty much... Who doesn't? Who among us? Who among us? Look around right now and tell me

you can't say that you haven't been more enthusiastic about costumes than sometimes is more appropriate. That's what I thought. You can.