Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 205 | From Deadly Water to Open Marriage

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

It's Monday and Jeffy is coming in HOT. Make sure you are testing your water because it can kill you. Then we digest the marriage of 'Silicon Valley' star Thomas Middleditch and a how to guide to be the perfect third wheel. Did you attend AlienStock?, don't worry we sent a reporter and he gives us an update on Storm Area 51. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast, Chewing the Fat, with yours truly Jeff Fisher. Nice of you to join the show today. Did you know that more than 100,000 cancer cases could be caused by contaminants in tap water? Yes, a toxic cocktail of chemicals found in U.S. drinking water could be the cause of more than 100,000 cases of cancer. Now listen, a vast majority of community water systems meet legal standards, but the latest research shows that contaminants in the water are concentrations that are perfectly legal, yet can still harm human health. Hmm. They're legal, yet they could harm us. I wonder how it could harm us. I wonder how it could harm us. I think I'm going to do a little bit more of research on this study because now it's all just could.

Yeah, okay, we got it. We got it. Yeah, it could. It could. Probably doubtful. Probably doubtful. Do you have a good weekend? Did you join the local circle, you know, bucket thing?

Drum circles on the beach. Drum circles on the beach tonight. See you at sundown. Where? We have a big bonfire on the beach. Which one? Right there at the beach. Yeah, which one?

Right there. There's so many around us in the DFW area, which beach are we're going to be at the beach? We're going to be at Lake Grapevine. Okay. Lake Grapevine. So it's not a beach. Now we've downgraded it to Lake.

There's a beach. There's a beach at Lake Grapevine. But the beach right there. Late Grapevine. Next to the Lake Gravevine? Or at the big bongo circles, the drum circles at sundown with the big bonfire. That's kind of cool, though. Think about it.

I know. So is that why you having it? Yes. Thank you. Used to do that all the time in Treasure Island down in full. Did you? Did you? Yes.

Because sometimes you can twist the truth. Did you really do that, Jeffrey? Because, like, I love you and all, but some of the stories you tell me, I believe you. Or some of the sort of it's like, I don't believe, but I let you, you know, get away with the, you know. Do you think I would make something up like that? Yes, absolutely. Yes. And the audience also will believe it, too.

I mean, there's no reason for me to lie about drum circles on the. the beach. Absolutely there is. There's thousands of reasons for you're lied about that. The reason is something like that. Yes. Yes. What's one?

Am I building up my ego by being in a drum circle on the beach? You're making stories so they can sound good and make you look great. You're making stories so that you can see more relevant. It's a sad state of affairs if the drum circle on the beach is making me look great. I'll tell you that. And what else you have in your life, Jeffie? It's kind of a good point. Treasure Island, Florida is where we're.

for the drum circles. Just saying, oh man. Is that pre or post drug? The audience can't see. Yes. I'm just deciding whether it was most of it was pre.

Okay. Most of it was pre. Okay. One of times post but loses the magic. Loses the magic. That's sad. I know. What can you do?

Thank you. Exactly. Sorry, I didn't mean to take it out of you. Yeah, that's fine. No, no, no, no. Because, really, how are you going to do? Did you also know? I don't want to start with sad news.

I already bumped you out with the water. But, you know, millions of Americans, eh, don't worry about it. If you thought your data has been hacked, doesn't need to be even hacked anymore. Thank you. Millions of Americans' medical images and data are available just on the internet.

What? What? What do is just take a peek. Hundreds of computer servers worldwide that store patient x-rays and MRIs are so insecure than anyone with a web browser or a few lines of computer code can view patients records. Don't worry about it.

Because who's going to do it? So all those papers that I sign about the hippo, the hippos, and the hippo laws feed nothing. So people can still see my stuff. Absolutely. So who am I swin? Is it Baylor and Scott here in Texas? All of them.

Or am I going to go Fish Memorial down in Florida? Yes. Yes. All of them. I mean, it's amazing. This particular group identified 187 servers, computers that are used to store and retrieve medical data in the U.S. that were unprotected. Well, what can you use that information for, though?

Well, I don't know. Because, okay, Bobby got a knee surgery and he got some drugs for that, and here are the not doctors know. What can you really do about it? It's not like you can use it to get a new credit card or a new bank loan or a new house. You might be able to use it for drugs, though, right? In what way? Hey, look at my knee replacement.

It's not like pharmacies or like, oh, yeah, here's your, if you were to move, if I moved to a new neighborhood. Okay. And I went to a new dock. Let's say you go to Diamond Physicians. The new, you know, the new Diamond Fish Open in South Lake. All right. I go to Diamond Physicians. I say, hey, Diamond Physicians, how you doing?

And we do it online. Okay. Right? I'm online with the die. Yeah, you are. All right. And I say, yeah, I've got the, I'll just send you a link to my knee surgery MRIs. See, with that right there, the Diamond Fisher, like, yeah, that's not how that works.

What do you mean? How does it work? Can you say this? I have them right here. I'll hold them up for you. I've got my copies that I kept. Oh, true. True.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. You can do that. Yeah. And boy, does it hurt. Oh, like that. How about writing me a prescription?

Boy, does it hurt? Boy, does it hurt? Boy, does it hurt? I can barely walk. How about sending me a prescription? I mean, okay. Actually, yeah, I can see that. Doubtful, I know.

But, you know, you're right. I'm not really sure. I'm trying to make up something that's funny. I don't know what you would use it for. But there's got to be, I mean, I mean, could you hold somebody? I don't know. I don't know.

The only thing I can think of is that you would use it to try to get some sort of narcotics. It's like when we talk about revenge porn. You know, that is something I could see. Like, hey, we got you doing something bad. Right. Gives $1,000 and we're not, we're not send it to your family, blah, blah, blah, blah. That I can see. But you call me and say, hey, I have that MRI, you know, that STD test.

You want us to show it to your wife, wire us to Bitcoins. Okay. How about No. The chances of the wife to have an STD is pretty high because she might have it now.

Right. Speaking of STDs too, I saw an interview with Thomas Midlidge. Okay. He did an interview with Playboy and the Silicon Valley star. I mean, I'm sure you're a fan of Silicon Valley.

Yeah. Isn't that in Showtime? HBO, but close. Yeah, showtime. He reads. revealed that he and his wife for four years. Yes! They were polygamists.

Yeah, well, they were, no, they were just swinging. Yeah, polygamists. They're just swinging. There's a difference. Is there? Yes. Please, Jeffrey, tell me the difference between a polygamy and whatever you just said. Open relationship. If you have to. Yeah, I have to.

Yeah, you have to. Polygamous is if you're married. Aren't they married? To more than one person. Oh, really? I thought it was like you're just having sex with like a bunch of people. Oh, that's just having sex with a bunch of people. That's how they have a name? That's why sex with a bunch of people swinging.

If you're married and having sex with a bunch of people, you know, different people, then you're just married and having sex with a bunch of people. That's called open relationship. I love it. Now that says it saved his marriage. He said it saved his marriage. So there's, I don't know, I've read a lot of different stories about that. Well, we talked about, I think it was like two weeks ago where you said there's like couples that are,

married but living separately. Right. Now that's different than swinging though. That's different because if you're married and living separately, you just want to be, you don't necessarily, you're not necessarily having an affair with someone else. And it's a call an affair of both are. Swinging?

No, but that's for the lack of a relationship or, you know, a sexual relationship or a thing, you know. I don't like thing. Don't say thing. Keep it on. Or a thing. No, no, I don't like it. It's gross.

and they just made it all girls. But then I see the next story. Can we, right? I know we've seen it all the time. People say it saved their marriage and some people say they could do it. One, I've read articles from couples that said, you know, they were open to the open relationship and then one of them did it. And it got hurt.

Right. And the other one was like, oh, no, I don't know what I could do with that. Serious question. And I know you're not going to answer this seriously because it's you. I don't know what you're talking about. Have you thought about open relationship or an open marriage? And then Demi Moore said in her book, did she regrets having threesomes

with Ashton Cocher in her new book. Wait, Ashton Cush is married to Milakuni. Yeah, now. But she was, he was with, he was with Demi. Oh, he was? I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. So it was Demi, Ashton, and someone else.

Right. And she regrets that relationship. Correct. Maybe she didn't have the right person to be the third wheel. Thought about that? I know. Because that third wheel has to be, I don't want to, you know, boggy down with facts. Okay?

No, this show cannot bog people down with facts. That's the point of this whole show. That is true. But if you don't have a third wheel that knows how to play the field, it's going to, you're going to regret it. Right. And the most important thing that needs to happen with the third wheel is when, it's done, get out. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And I don't need you to jump up and make coffee. No, no, no, no. I don't need you to jump up and do laundry. No. Get out. Yes. And I'm trying to get you two guests for you. Not that I, not that I'm aware of any of that, but I'm just saying that that's.

I'm trying to get you two guests that have a nice perspective when it comes to dating. Uh-huh. And they talk about this and they have their own podcast. I'm going to say their podcast here yet because I want, you know, get them. but like they talk about that and that's the rule one is that third wheel needs to know that it's not about her right or him or him it's about coming together that's the problem i know i know i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm a little i'm sorry i'm sorry you're already you're already thinking it's got to be a hurt it has to be a hurt i know i'm sorry i want to apologize what kind of marriage do you

but then the other key part is after a year you're already falling apart i am yeah it's already falling apart, isn't it? It is. But the key right there is they don't leave. Usually, they don't leave. The third wheel. You got to, again,

you have to pick the right third wheel. Yeah, you do. I mean, that ground rule has to be laid. And that's the thing, too, that they're going to be in late. Those girls talk about, you just can't be like, boom, here's the third wheel.

Let's bring her into the, or him into the equation. It's more like, hey, here are the rules. Let's play the game. Let's go. And if you are the one that's the third wheel, you should know that. You should. You should know that.

If you're out and a couple tries to bring you in and you realize, hey, I'm going to be the third wheel tonight when you're done, get out. Court rules six states must allow women to free the nipple due to a Fort Collins lawsuit. Women can go out in public, topless in six states. I want to be clear about something. Women can go out topless in every state that I live in, any state in America, as far as I'm concerned. I think that should be the next... That should be a national law.

Press, the next presidential, you know, pillar. It should be ridiculous that that's not. And I'm sorry. If I could be a man and walk shirtless in America, a female can't. And I don't understand it. Like, why... I don't either.

Like on TV shows, like, guys, oh, there's a nipple. and then girls have to do the hand bra. Why? Why? I stand with all the feminists and say, let my free nipple go. Free the nipple. Yep. Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, Kansas, and Oklahoma.

I'm a shame of Texas. Me too. What are you doing Texas? Come on. Florida. And Florida. What are you doing? What are you doing Florida?

Come on. Like, if there's two states that should have free the nipple, like, thank you. Should be Florida and tech. Do you know how hot it is here, Jeffie? And California isn't even on this list. what's going on? Well, California's different.

Do you really want those nipples out? I mean, if you're asking me, yes. I've not opposed to that. Where's Vegas on this? Yeah, Nevada. I think that's where we're headed now, right? Is that a lot of the states that we mentioned that don't have the free the nipple movement in parentheses

do have areas that are cordoned off for people that, you know, go do with their own thing. Because in Florida you have the nudist colonies. Yes, you do. Well, that's what I'm saying. There's nude beaches here and there. There's nude beaches in California, that kind of thing. Like if anybody, Florida, Texas, in California,

should be the top three states that be like, go do what you want to do. Right. When it comes to your body, of course. Of course. Duh. So anyway, it's embarrassing that these are the only states. Shame.

We should get behind. In fact, we already are behind this movie. Oh yeah, this program stands. stands for Free the Nipple. What he said. So I see the story this weekend, and I think to myself, wait, this is exactly what I've been talking about

for the past five, six years, maybe even more. The headline is Facebook is working on AR glasses. It thinks can replace your iPhone and Android. Okay, that's why, I mean, really what you need is just a helmet. You don't need AR glasses. You need like a motorcycle helmet with the glass. To do what? So that that is your communication.

That's your computer, that's your phone, it's all integrated on the screen of your helmet. This feels like it's way too much. Way too much. Why? I'm wearing a helmet. Yeah. That's why, I mean, I think. I'm not a freaking tron.

I think that's where aliens. That's where our pictures of aliens come from. It's just the future of us. It's just a helmet. It's just a helmet with the one eye. It looks like a helmet with one eye. So like the Power Rangers. Don't bring Morphan time into this.

So like the Power Rangers. Don't bring Morphent time into this. I'm bringing Morphine time. The Power Rangers have a ring. Yes, but when they go full-on morphing time, there's a helmet that comes up. Then they go into a... Okay.

How about like Robocop? How he has that vibe, like that. Okay. Something like that. All right. Did you know, we have, we have new computer police officers that do stops now. Do you see those? No.

Okay, so the cop, they pull you over. I'll get back to the helmet at a moment. But they pull you over. And so the police don't want to have to walk up to the cars anymore because now they're saying that it's for the safety. Safety of the police officer. Yeah, which it makes sense. Absolutely. Yeah.

I've told you. Yes, and I've told you the stories about the story when I got pulled over here and the cop told me he's been hit twice. It's very dangerous. I told him when he was talking to me and this was even, you know, this was before he said he wasn't going to give me a ticket. I mean, I was really

cars were flying by and I'm like, dude, isn't it a law that you're supposed to slow down? Well, not just slow down. If you know how, we're supposed to go to... And if you can't get over, you're supposed to be way down. Like 50 miles an hour down. I mean, there's a human on the street. Yes. And there's lights there telling us.

you, hey, here's people. Hello. Somebody here. So they've got this now where the cop will pull up behind you and the computer has a little helmet has a little helmet of it. It's like a it's like a

trying to think what it would be called. Almost like a lift. Okay. Along the side of the car. And it shoots out to your door. And do what? Along the side of the police. Along the side of the police. along the side of the police car and alongside of your car to your window.

Okay. And then there's the, you open your window and there's the computer screen. No, that's, that's, no. You're talking to the cop that's in the car. So stupid.

And they show there's a cop. You put your license in to the computer. So it has a arm. It has a robotic arm. On the side of the police car. What is? Is this not the NASA International Space Station? Yes.

That is the stupidest thing we can do. You put your license in the thing and then the ticket will print out. How about this? How about you don't pull people over? I was so, I was, I thought it was so cool until the ticket printed on, I thought you bastard. The ticket prints out. So anyway, I just got the little helmet on it.

So, you know, you don't want this computer screen to get rained on. So goofy. But so I haven't seen one of those yet. And if I see one, I'm going to speed because I want to get pulled over by it. I want the ticket from the, from the robot. That's not what you're supposed to do when you see it. No? No.

Okay. Now, so back to the helmet. All right. So here's the deal. It's not too much. Because if you don't want any of it, the screen comes up, right? But you still wear into a helmet. So what?

So what? You look, I don't know. So take your helmet off. So what? So now you're carrying a helmet. Okay, well, put it on, leave it on your head then. Now I have a helmet on my head. Now you have a helmet on your head.

And if you want to go live without having access to the computer screen on the face or the telephone, somebody's calling. You do, you know, you have your live shots, your face times, all of it, all right there on the screen and then if you don't want it, it's clear. You're looking outside or you up the screen. I'm telling you. That's what's coming. It's already already to be there.

Instead of wearing just one little AR glasses, just wear the helmet. I feel like you're going backwards. And protect your helmet. Well, the one show on continuum had the computer in her contact lens and then she had a chip that she could download and upload information in her arm. And so, I mean, that's better than the helmet, right? I mean, that's just the contact lens. But the contact lens, they've worked on some of that.

And it's difficult for people to go from viewing the contact lens in one eye and going live to real-life action with the other eye. That's why the helmet works the best. Thank you. All right, so we've got to talk a little bit about Vice President Pence. And I know that it's political, but it's not really political. So don't. easy on the button, easy on the political music button,

because I'm not getting too political yet. But he visited Mackinac Island in Michigan. And if you know, Mackinac Island is between the lower and upper peninsula of Michigan. Show me under hand. Show me on the hand. This is, which camera? The one behind me. Okay.

Yeah, so I can see it better. This is the lower peninsula of Michigan. What is? Upper peninsula is up here. Okay, got it, got it. Which remember, Mountain Dew thought was Wisconsin. Wisconsin, yeah. It is not.

All right. And so then in between there is the McAnne Island. Right on top of the middle finger. Correct. Who's paying attention? So on McAnne Island, there's no cars allowed. There's been no cars allowed on McAn Island for a million years. Okay?

You have bicycles and horses, mostly bicycles. But you do have bicycles and horses and carries. and everything else. Now there are vehicles on the island, of course, for workers and stuff like that, but they don't, you don't drive around the island when, you know, during the day, that kind of thing. Is that a law? Yeah, it's part of the deal of Mackinac Island. I'm sure it's not, I'm sure it's not an official law law. I'm sure it's a law that people know. The Mackinna Island law, yes. Okay. And in fact, my, my niece used to run the hotel on Mackinnell Island. Nice.

Well, used to? Yeah, she runs. Oh, no. Well, no, she's got a better gig. Oh, okay, good, gig. For her. For her, because she, you know, you work on Mackina Island. You don't work during the winter.

Because they close it down. Yeah, they shut it down. Oh, no. Only a few people stay on the island that live on the island. That's so cool. So, like, if you could get a house for, a house that would go for, let's say, $8 million here in Texas. I'm sorry?

Why do we go to $8 million? I'm just using it as an example. You can get a Mac on the island for maybe $2 million. Still in the millions. But you don't use it during the winter is what I'm saying. But you still have to pay that mortgage. That's why it's so cheap. Hold on, babe.

No, two million is that cheap. Yeah, that's why it's cheap. I think you're going to go like $100,000. Oh, they don't want $100,000 people on the island? They want a million people. Thank you. You want people that own horses and can live there during the summer. No wonder whatever happened to this.

about this sort, good thing that happened to them. Whatever happened to them, good. Good, looking down enough people. The only people that live there that during the winter are the people taking care of those homes, okay?

Oh, okay. Hold on. I like that. I like that. I like that. I'm coming back down to your people. Yeah, here we go. So I'm allowed in there.

So anyway, well, oh. Yeah, I'm the gardener. Hey, during the summer. Anyway, the, uh, we're not leaving you there alone during the winter. It's no cars there. So now they're all pissed at Mike fence because he went up there and he was part of this this this meeting that they had there

okay had the macadaw uh republican leadership conference and it was a big deal to have the president there but he flies or the vice president there yeah trump yeah trump's like no cars horses bikes then so how do you get there but so they shipped in these SUVs oh no and there's pets driving around the island and his SUVs he's got the whole motorcade driving around and that's That's not a short motorcade either. Right. There's ambulances, motorcycle cops, the vans. He's got these big SUVs.

People are like, whoa, wait. Now, a lot of people on the island, they show up driving down one of the roads. It's the people that bikes are off to the side. You know, just kind of, it's no big deal as the vice president. And other people who are, what's he supposed to do, ride horses? Yes. Yes.

I'm sorry. No, what's he supposed to do? No, what he does, what's he supposed to do is apparently when Gerald Ford went there 100 years ago as president or vice president. to compare Jereford Time Era. Well, he's one of the ones that showed up at the island and had a car. And how did he do it? He showed up at the island and had a car shipped in at night just in case for an emergency.

So what did he do? But he rode around, he was, you know, wrote around a little carriage. I can't. Yeah. What is this, freaking the Duchess of Cambridge? Yes. No, I don't, I do not want Mike. Do you want Mike Pence riding around on just a horse?

Yes. Okay, well, baby. I prefer to see my vice president in a horse on a horse instead of a freak. freaking carriage like a little wuss. So actually motorized vehicles have been prohibited on Maconah Island. Vice person in the United States. Right. Right.

I mean, they've been prohibited since, I don't know, since, what's the number here? Oh, since 1898. Unless you're the vice person in the United States. Now they let emergency vehicles, like I said, service vehicles for, you know, the people that are picking up the goods for the, you know, the people that are picking up the goods for the winter. Unless you're the president of the United States. Unless you're the vice president, you get to bring in vehicles. I mean, that's, I get, I understand it. Do you, do you know, because your face is telling me something else? My face is telling me, it, butch up. I think security,

security on Mackin Island is probably pretty good. All right, nobody on McAnaheis. But I bet you that was a secret service decision. It's like what Glenn was talking about, like, once Secret Service says, we got this, you can't say anything else. Right. But you can't. You're the vice president. I don't know if you heard me. I say once the Secret Service says we're doing this and I work with the Secret Service side by side, if they say we're taking this wall down, we're taking this wall down.

Yeah, to you, what's the Secret Service says something? That's, you have to do it. Yes. Mike Pence doesn't have to. Yes, he does. He's the Vice President. True. He's the Vice President.

But they are. Mr. Vice President Pence, we're going to Macon Island. Don't forget my cars. You can't tell me he doesn't know McAnna Island. He does not know. No, he does not. He's talking about the governor. The world knows.

Jeff Fisher. I did not know the etiquette for this island up in Michigan. I did not know that. And I bet you half of this audience did not know that either. It's just you missioners and Wisconsiners that knew this. I disagree with that. I disagree. Vice Prince was like, what, there's a stupid.

Trump. Trump, can we fix this? And Trump's like, get the cars, get all the cars in there. Go the cars, that's what he cares. Many cars you can't get, ship them all in. Isn't Michigan like the car people? Wasn't Michigan like the car industry? So why we just-

That's in Detroit. Here, let me show you. Here's Michigan. Okay, we're at the middle finger. In the middle finger, yeah. Motor City. Down at the bottom of the hand. Is that far from-

Motor City. way down here. Now there's car places in here. Okay. In dry cities. Okay. Flint, Saginaw Bay City. Okay.

And then you got car in Flint. Okay. Flint, Michigan. You know, you got Flint. You got Saginaw Bay City, Midland, and Flint. And then you got Detroit. Okay. The cars.

And that's it. Just. Back in all island. Up here at the top of the middle finger. Okay. Oh my gosh. You people, if you don't know about Mike Pence, I'm going to give it.

him the benefit of the doubt is vice president of the united states he knows macona island etiquette and if the secret service said uh mr vice president we need your eight vehicle motorcade on the island nope i mean i didn't even bring one i'll give him i'll give him one bulletproof s tv put the you know put the secret service could run alongside like they did like dallas like kim jang un like kim jang un yes it didn't work out so well for the president when they were run alongside oh no but it was he went he didn't have an s u No, he had a convertible. So let him run it alongside.

Let him take horses alongside one SUV. That would be kind of cool. Thank you. I'll give you that. That would have been okay. The cool factor will be pretty good to see the vice president. He knows he's not supposed to have cars. For security, they said we needed one SUV for the vice president, but the rest of us don't have cars with riding horses.

What about they do the popmobile? Or they're riding bikes. They're riding bikes along the side. The Popmobile. It's really small. There you go. It's a small card. Thank you.

They should have me just ship me to the middle. little finger of Michigan, and then I'll drive him around my little smart card. Thank you. Okay, as I'm recording this podcast right now, for those of you listening live, climate activists are blocking tunnels and streets in Washington, D.C. as we speak. Can I just say, I don't want anything bad to happen to these people, but if they were blocking my way to and from someplace, boobob. I couldn't take it.

I could not take it. It might be slower. You know, I wouldn't just, because it, boom, boom, that's kind of going fast through the crowd. So it might just be boom, boom, and then move on. But get out of my way. You think you can shut down traffic? Because you think the world is ending because of climate? Are you freaking kidding me?

These kids have never had it better. The world has never been better. and yet I read an article this week, I don't even I wasn't even planning on talking to you about this, but I read an article this weekend by someone who said the reason why this is, why we have so many,

so many people all wound up about the earth ending because of climate because they have to be worried about something and they've never had it better. And the reason is they don't know anything worse. They've always had it so good that this is something for them

to think about being bad. They've never had a really bad thing. So, you know, it kind of makes sense. You know, the greatest generation had, you know, world wars and wars and these, and Vietnam, yes, and what are these kids had? I mean, you could say maybe Iraq and Afghanistan, but that was on TV.

A lot of these people haven't even had 9-11, right? These young punks block on the tunnels haven't, didn't even know 9-11. I can't. It's just absolutely agonizing. But there is a way for you to make a little money. I mean, if you just want to lay around and you think, you know, I just want to lay around

and make some money, six flags, wants you to lay in a coffin. And if you lay on a coffin. Again? Yeah, last year they paid $600 to lie in a coffin for 30 hours. Yeah, I remember that we talked about it. So they're doing it again.

It's the coffin challenge You're going to start Six Flags American, Maryland I mean 30 hours a long time then But it seems to me that the rules were pretty easy Right? If you got picked You could go to the bathroom

You have like bathroom breaks and everything Yeah When we did this You're right We talked about this because we did this in Tampa For Super Bowl tickets I mean for the big game tickets Yeah we did oh my gosh

No we did not give away Super Bowl tickets Because that would have been wrong We gave away a big game. Big games. That's what I said. We didn't give away Super Bowl tickets. Stop!

Anyway, we had people we brought in a coffin, and I still talked to the people that actually loaned us the coffin. It was so much fun. Did you call them after your heart event? They contacted me after my heart event. They said, hey, still need the coffin? So did the coffin? I thought it was really funny of them.

I appreciated it very much. Oh, the coffins won't be very very near the ground. Lids won't be closed. They're allowed to bring one friend. They have to leave all smartphone, smart watches, gaming devices, and other technology out of their temporary resting place. Ooh. I'm out.

Smoking is also not allowed. I'm out. You don't smoke already. I still have a smoker, though. It's been 10 months, and they still consider me a smoker. I got to wait another two months before I can check off. Because all the paperwork for any insurance or anything, have you smoked in the last 12 months?

Shut up. So, let's see. Official rules eating, checking social meat. Oh, you can't eat. Contestants will be allowed to sit up but not leave their wooden beds. Six-minute restroom breaks every three hours. Any couple that leaves the coffin outside of those breaks will be disqualified. I don't know.

I think I could do it. I think I could do it. Except I don't really want to lay into the same spot, even just for three hours. I can sit down, just sitting there. What are you doing? I just, I got to move. I got to get out of here, man.

And plus, for 600 bucks, maybe if they're giving me lifetime passes to six flags, might be worth it. Yeah, so it's not season passes. I mean, it's not a lifetime passes. You get $600 to split because it's a couple, and you get gold season passes. So just gold season passes and a frightful.

prize package. I don't know that it's worth it. That doesn't seem. If you got a pair of gold passes for life, then it would be worth it. But just one season, still not worth it.

All right, let's have to do some entertainment. Now, we've got, we had the Emmys last night, which nobody watched. So what I'm talking to you about the Emmys, you'll say, well, wow, that's wild. I didn't even know it was on.

And you're right, nobody did. The lowest ratings ever for the Emmings on Fox. It's just bad. What are you trapped now? What do you mean? Lowest rating ever. Nobody watched.

Nobody watched. But before we get to the Emmys, because I don't know if you know this, the Emmys is about TV. Let's talk about the Oscars for just a second. My proof that Joaquin Phoenix will get the Oscar for his role

as the Joker. The Joker isn't even out yet when it comes out of the 1st of October, which is a week away. But if you're listening to this podcast live, so it's just a week away for the Joker. But don't shake your head.

Don't do it. Don't shake your head. Like, nobody listens to it live. Of course they do. That's why we're doing it live. But there's a big story about how he lost 50 pounds for the movie. He looks really skinny. Yeah.

And just more proof they're going to give him the Oscar. Right? He lost all this weight. He changed his appearance. He did this great character. He all freaked out. Sometimes he just walked away. Remember we talked about his in his roles.

He would just be in the middle of a scene and then walk away. And then come back. And he talked about. by that. It's just, it's just what you is how he is. Okay. And he talked about,

uh, it wasn't an apple a day. You got lettuce and steamed green beans. Boy, does that sound like a diet I want to be on? Right? I know. I know.

Sooner or later, though, that's, well, you can, look, you can lose weight on anything, really. Just if you eat one thing, your body decides,

oh, that's only the one thing. we're going to not do that. How about that? All right. Let's talk about the Emmys. Now we can go down the list of all of them,

but there's just a few that, you know, people care about. Outstanding comedy series. You had Barry on HBO and Russian doll on Netflix. You had Schitt's Creek on pop TV. And you had

Fleabag on Prime Video. And if you listen to this stupid show a while back Chris and I had a big fight over this stupid show, Fleabag. And of course they give it to Fleabag. That's unbelievable. I told you.

Unbelievable that they got. I forgot to mention the good place too was under that. Oh, and the marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Ms. Maisel got some. And Veep. Yeah, they got some. Jason.

But they got the album, nope, you're not winning that one. Have a nice day. What's it called? Ozark won for best directing. Jason Bateman. Best director. I know. And what's your face from Ozark 1 and the female one?

The female character. Yeah. The little girl. Whatever they call it. I'll get to it because I've got the list here, but I didn't print it out in front of me. So I've got to scroll. Puglia Gardner, supporting actress and drama. Because pretty much everyone on Game of Thrones was nominated.

Yeah, everybody except for one. Lena, Macy, Christi, Sophie, all nominated for Best Supporting. Yeah, really funny. They were all there. Ozark got it. And they gave it to Ozark right now. Ozark deserves it. Absolutely.

It was great. Absolutely. But this year was Game of Thrones, right? I mean. And we talked about that. We said that Game of Thrones had to get it. It was this year. I know.

Oh, you don't have to say they have to. They did. I know. Come on. They did. One of them had to have done it. Yes. And the little short guy also won.

Which was their bone to Game of Thrones. Yes. Well, it gave you a supporting actor. So that's not the point. I mean, that was kind of a slap in the case. And the one that also pisses you off is a post. Yes. Why is that?

Lead actor, drama series, Billy Porter 1. Come on. Why is that? Nobody watches that show. I think it's on FX. Go down the list of the other shows on that. Oh, so for lead actor drama series was Pose. Better call Saul.

Okay. Ozark. This is us. Hello? This is us in Game of Thrones. Hello. Any of those other than that show. Like out of all those shows that people watch.

I would have given it to either Jason Bates. or Bob from Better Call Saul for leading actor. Yeah, Saul's everybody's a big fan of Saul. No question. But again, lead actress, Fleabag. What?

That's amazing to me. Go down the list of who's that. You don't want to go. You do know when it goes. Yes, I do. Christina Applegate. Which is, she was great.

Indead to me. It was great. Rachel from the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Which you love? I'm still. Yeah, you still not. Yeah. but I got, I got it.

Natasha Lyon from the Russian doll or Orange is a New Black. Catherine O'Hara from Schitts Creek. Thank you. She was great in that. And Julia Lewis Dreyfus. This was the first time that she did not get it. And this was the last year for the show. Have a nice day.

Sorry you didn't die with cancer. Get out. Right. So Julia, according to, and this is not being, I didn't know, No, Julia. I have not, you know, fat check this, but Julia has always won lead actress when it comes to the Emmys. That's probably true.

I don't know if I don't know if Julia did, but Julia did. She loses it to Phoebe for Fleabag. Right, come on. Dude, that's a slap on the face. If I'm Julia, I'm like, screw you all. But I like the supporting actress for comedy series, went for Alex, which is the marvelous Miss Maisel. I like that.

At least it didn't give it to Flea Bag. And then supporting actor for comedy series. Oh, and the drama series, too. They had Succession, too. Next year will be Succession. Succession. Oh, yeah. This year.

Yeah, it was the tease. This year was supposed to be Game of Thrones. Yes, it was a tease. This show is supposed to be Game of Thirteen, actually, this year. Because that freaking show is good. Television movie was Black Mirror, which was great. I don't know why I have not seen that yet. And it's good because you control the,

you control the outcome of the movie. So you have to participate. Yeah, just show me the show. I don't want to, I'm laying on my sofa. Grab the remote and just click. Let me just let me watch the show. Okay, I don't want to, I don't have to play along. Rupal won reality competition program.

Did you see, okay, we have to go. No, we can't because it'll just piss me off. Yes. But did you see all these shows that won? Like John Oliver. John Oliver, yeah. Last night tonight or whatever the heck of the name is. Last week tonight.

Last week tonight. All the producers and writers they have for these. Are you kidding me? There's a buttload. It drives me insane. Of course. And look what they're producing. They're producing.

Crap. Just crap. They got all these writers and producers and all these people around. It's unbelievable. Did you agree with? with the limited series Chernobyl? Yes. You did?

Yeah, I mean, that was, yeah. It was good, but I don't think it was... Who was up against? When they see us, escape from Denamora, Fosev slash Verdon. Yeah. Oh, Fosse Verde. Yeah, Fossi Verde, yeah.

Yeah, Fossi Verdon, yeah. Yeah, Fosse Verdon, yeah. Yeah, Fosse Verdon might be hanging out with Julia, but that's really Fossi and Verde. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you know, I had to get that, especially this year. It was too, too strong. Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts.

Hey. Hello. How you doing? Oh, so good. Are you, are you, don't use my lines on my show. I'm so good. I'm so, so good. Are you back?

No, I'm actually sitting, believe it or not, in Roswell, New Mexico. That's a little ways to go. Yes, but it's the epicenter of all UFOs. It's amazing. I know you love Roswell, though. That's your home. You want to move there, don't you? Why don't you marry?

Roswell is a beautiful little town. I should, shouldn't die. It probably would ask for less alimony. All right. So what's the name of your stupid show again? The Daily Mojo Oh, that's right Yeah, that's right

The Daily Mojo on Mojo 5-0 Mojo 5-0 Well, but in this case It would be Odyssey Radio That's probably an even better one Odyssey station Odyssey 1.com

So it's called Odyssey 1 Do you want me to promote Odyssey 1 dot com? Yeah, let's do Odyssey. Let's do Odyssey. Odyssey 1, Odyssey 1.com Yeah, O-D-Y-S-Y-Y-S-Y. You can go ahead and spell it for the crowd.

I mean, you want to talk down. You want to talk down with my audience. But is it, I'll ask you on the air, no mind. That's good. All right, we'll talk to you. Hold on. So this weekend was an exciting weekend in the desert. Area 51 was stormed.

Las Vegas was stormed with party goers. And even, thank you. People were partying, storming, The government didn't know what to do with them. America's highest paid prostitute. I'm sorry? America's highest paid prostitute couldn't wait. She was filled with excitement over the long-awaited festival.

She said it led to a huge boost in business with people looking for an out-of-this-world experience. Alice from the Moonlight Bunny Ranch near Carson City said she was excited. We actually had a reporter go out. We did? Yeah, we did. We had a reporter go out for a two and the fat.

It wasn't me and it wasn't news. I know. So who else did you say? Well, listen, he's going to say that he was for with Odyssey One. Okay. Odyssey1.com reporter. It was reporting for chewing the fact. It's a CTF reporter.

Hey, thank you. Odyssey. Odyssey one.com slash CTF. Well, I bet you that does not go anywhere. If you type that in on a computer, that just goes anywhere. That just goes anywhere. I wrote Brad Stags was our reporter out there.

Brad. You've ruined my transmodulator. Oh, God, he's been a... I'll put... I'll put... Hold on. I'll put Brad on. Just a minute.

Give me the phone. Thank you. Wow. You're actually bringing people back home? Well, you know, you have... You have to do what you can to help out the aliens. I think that if we would all just embrace aliens a little bit more, it would be a better place.

And that's what my girl at the Storm Area 51 event in Nevada at the bunny ranch was saying. You know what? They put that bunny ranch way too far away from Area 51. That was a long drive. That was a very, very, I barely had enough gas money. Well, I mean, she was very clear that. She gave people great deals on the Area 69, which was an immersive alien abduction fantasy experience.

And it comes complete with the sensory deprivation, alien probing, and even impregnation adventures. So. So it's a lot like marriage. Yes. Thank you. So anyway, you went out to Area 51. You went out out the desert for this event, which I find fascinating.

I really bummed. I didn't get to go. And I know that you do your daily. mojo thing, whatever it is. What a daily mojo. A little daily mojo. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

But you, you, you, you, you, you went out there for Odyssey One. Yeah, sure did. So, fascinating. So, what was the, were you, were there anybody to get shot, didn't anybody get a run down? Right? It was the, and I knew, I really, I felt it had the potential to be, a real fire festival disaster or a super success.

And it was neither of those. It was like right in the middle. It was, um, it was, um, it was, it was no, yeah. It was like, no one got shot. There was no drunken crowd running around. What? It wasn't, I know. It was, um, I was surprised at how well prepared both sites were.

Actually, technically there were, there were three festivals. that took place. One in downtown Vegas with Maddie Roberts, the guy who started the whole thing with the joke. And so, you know, he pulled out of the little alien. Well, he had to, right?

Well, you know, I think what happened was a, I think a lawyer got a hold of him and said, look, dude, you're going to get sued. Yeah. Which he probably will anyway. But so he pulls out of that situation. He partners up with an event planning group downtown. I think they were already having an event downtown.

So probably 2,000 to 3,000 people showed up down there, and they served Bud Light, which there was a little green alien on the can. There was only one problem with the Bud Light. Oh, no. The can was neat. The only problem with the Bud Light is that inside the can, it was full of Bud Light. Don't be badmouthed Bud Light now. Come on.

Well, they should have done Bud Light long. That's America's brew. If they were going to do Bud Light, it should have been Bud Light lime with the alien on it. I mean, it's green, the whole thing. No, I understand where you were going. I got it.

Yeah, there was a neat little tie-in, and they sold, I mean, a bucket of five beers was only $40. So, I mean, heck, that's a deal at twice the price. That's not bad. No, no, not bad at all. So I thought we saw a video of, so out of vague,

though out in the desert did they not was it not like the area 51 storm yeah yeah burning man event well yes so there were two other events one in a place a little place called hyko which is on your way out to area 51 and the guy there at the alien research facility he had a little stage set up and they had vendors there they were selling crystals and nice um they had security and They had the infrastructure all set up, and I don't know, 200 people maybe showed up. Oh, that hurts. And then the really the largest area that they had set up was out of the little alien out in Rachel, Nevada, with a population of, I think, 54.

Well, that was the original place, right? I mean, that's where it was supposed to be out in Rachel, right? Yes. And if you want to get to Rachel, Nevada, you go to the middle of BSE, and then you turn left, go another 200 miles and park your car and then walk another 150 and you you're getting closer when you get there but they had cleared this woman had cleared off probably 30 acres of her land and wow yeah it was i mean she had an impressive area you know what i'm saying uh she had read it out probably 200 motorhomes or spaces to 200 motorhomes uh another i don't know 100 campers

And then they had this giant field plowed in two stages. So she had it all set up. I love American capitalism. Yes. And maybe seven, 800 people, totally. Still, though. And that's counting the people.

Yeah, that's counting the people that camped there and that brought their RV out and all that. They just, I think everyone was scared off. Right. I was just going to say that. I think that, you know,

I think that that's probably the best you can do because everybody, was scared off. Nobody wanted. Nobody wanted to get shot. Nobody wanted to get caught up in some big melee instead of making it a big party and having fun with it, like a second burning man.

Very sad. Yeah. And it could have been, and they may do it again next year, but the weird thing was she had the little alien, like the centerpiece of this thing. She had it closed down. No one could go inside.

Wait, what? So, yeah. And the little alien, when you see it, it's about the size of a double wide trailer. and it's, I think it's a bar in there, and maybe, I don't know, it's just a bar. But they had it closed down, and you couldn't go inside there. I guess they were afraid of the crowds.

And we talked to the cops, and the cops are all cool. There was one incident. Is that what we're calling it now? We talk to the cops? Yeah, we at least, well, the cops are kind of bored. They were looking for things to do. But we call, actually, we saw, and we saw this incident. coming a mile away as we're driving down the road we thought where there's one thing there's

going to be one casualty in this whole festival and uh it happened and it was very sad actually do we need sad music or you okay uh you know what you want that's good okay um bessie the cow she led a long and long and prosperous life betsy was a black cow so Bessie didn't show up very well at night. And Bessie was what we also call a free-range cow. Oh, yeah. And the pre-range cows, they have a tendency not to look both ways before they enter the extraterrestrial highway.

Especially when they're used to not having to. Right. And so one of the UFO goers on their way to the little alien sadly ended Bessie's life. Oh, no. Did everybody get to skin it and eat it? Oh, Betsy was the best hamburger I think I've ever had. Nice. That was test.

It was not only was it tasty, but it was tender. Because I think generally if you hit a cow doing 70, it tenderizes to me. Yeah, well, you know, the left side tasted a little grilly. Right. The right side was a little tougher, but you just had to choose your cut well. Thank you. But that was really, that was the only casualty was a cow that somebody hit. Are the humans okay?

Because, I mean, cows are big animals, man. You don't just run into those bad boys. You do some damage. It's like hitting a mid-sized car. We didn't hear any reports of anybody getting hurt in the accident, but I'm betting you their repair bill wasn't going to be cheap. Yeah, no kidding. I mean, those are your airbags are going off hitting a cow, man.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can I put you on that, Jeff Fisher? Yes, you can't. Yes, you can. The airbags will go off. Airbags are going off when you hit a cow. Okay, got it.

Yeah. And the only other thing was the storming the gate. The actual event was storming the gates of Area 51 at, I think, two in the morning local time. And they had about 150 people show up to do the Naruto run or whatever you call it when you run like the anime dude. Right, right, right. What was the name again? Hold on, Brian. What was the name again?

Is it Naruto? Okay. Did I say that right? Okay, I just making sure. I didn't know if that was a Kama Sutra thing or something. I just... It's both. It's both. Okay, good. Well, they had about 150 people, and of those 150, I think there were three stupid ones. Yeah, one of them made it underneath the gate, and she was coaxed back onto the, to the correct side of the gate. Really? Yeah. Well, and when you get there, you realize it's just an arm. It's one of the same. It's one of the same. those are they're crossing at a railroad. It's just, you know, one arm comes down.

You got some guards, then. They had put up some concertino wire on both sides, but they arrested two other people. Wasn't there a sign that said, you know, cross here, we shoot you, you know, if, you know, you step here? Yeah. Yeah. Well, the funny thing was the next day, they, I don't know, either the Air Force grew a sense of humor or they just decided to go with it because they allowed everybody to come up and take their picture. Oh, there you go.

There was a little sign that said no photography, and you could get a selfie next to the sign that said no photography. So that was their deal there because there wasn't as many people there that showed up. They scared all the big crowd away. Just come up, take some pictures, get out of here. If you step across this line, we're still going to shoot you, though. Take your selfie, but if you step across here, we're still going to shoot you. Yeah, I mean, the whole slug line.

of the event, you know, they can't stop all of us. And I kept saying, yes, they can. Yeah, they can. Yes, they can. And they will if you try. Yes. But overall, it was a neat little festival. It was like it was like Woodstock without the without really

sort of, but just no one got, I mean, they had alcohol but there, but no one was getting drunk. There was nobody out of hand. It was just a, it was like they were all on some sort of hallucinate. Really what it is, is sad. It's sad. I mean, it's like,

not my American. It's like Woodstock without Woodstock is what it is. Right. Yes. I mean, I was hoping for some good bar fights

and some, you know, at least one flesh wound, but there wasn't, there was nothing. It wasn't any anime people running around in alien outfits

or anything? Nothing. Well, there were a few people running around in alien outfits and a couple of them were pretty hot, but they were green,

so I just kept my distance. It's like, you know, Glenn says, you would not recognize America in 10 years. I don't recognize this America. How is it possible that we have this event? And there's no brawls, there's no shots, there's no dead people.

What the hell? This is not my America. I know. I was, and I think what it was was the fire festival. Oh, yeah. I think that was a primer for everybody. They didn't want it to be fire festival. So I think if fire festival hadn't happened, this would have been a much larger disaster

and a much more epic event to report on. But because of fire, it was... Now we're just stuck with watching the parody porn film, Porn Hub, Raids Area 51. Darn the luck. How is it? It's like Woodstock without the Woodstock, is what it is. So I'm happy that you made it out safe,

and I'm very disappointed that you're reporting good news from us just, I mean, nothing. I know. I wish I should. I should make something up. It was horror. I mean, the abductions and the, I mean, the humanity. It was horrible. The burning flesh.

It was, oh, I'll never be able to see it. Well, it was good that Odyssey One. com sent you out there. Yes, yes. Well, they got their money's worth. They sure did. Yes, they did. So is it Odyssey One?

Is it O-N-E? or is it one with a number? Is it an Odyssey with one, two O's? I mean, what is it? It's an O-D-Y-S-Y. It's an Odyssey. It's an O-D-Y-S-Y and then the number one, and then a dot and then a com.

So all together, it'd be an Odyssey1.com. Some O's in there, some S's, a couple Ds. I just typed that into the search engine and we're good? Yes, you just type that into any computer, or if you find a typewriter, you just, you either that into a typewriter. somewhere. Really?

It'll take you right there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's alien tech. Wow, that's really great. Brad Stags, I love you. Thank you very much, man. Appreciate it. I'll be back.

Talk soon. That is disappointing. I mean, and I knew, look, you knew that nothing was happening because there were no hot alerts coming across the wires all weekend long. How? Never mind.

What? I say how long you've been in this business, but he just, Data yourself when you said that. What do you mean? On the wire. Coming across the wire. Red alerts.

Hot alerts on the wire. I subscribe to all kinds of news apps on my phone. No one calls it the wire, Jeff Fisher. When hot alerts come across the wire, I see it. They pop up on my phone. When notification comes on my... That's today's wire, the notification. That's today's wire.

Yes, it is. All the notifications that pop up from all these damn news as I own. Notification. Notification. That's the red hot. two peppers with the side of wire. There were no red hot stories coming across the wire this weekend. I do like that saying, though.

I mean, I looked for it all weekend and nothing happened. It's very disappointing. You can quote me on that, by the way. I looked for it all weekend. By the way, nothing was happening. Brad was correct. If you go to Brad's Instagram, you can see some of those green aliens. Oh, I meant to ask him about the rave festival.

It was good. I started. It was good. Those are the ones he probably stayed away from because they were green. It looked good. But the problem is that is Brad Staggs. So he's not going to go in. Me and you.

That's what I mean. We're in. Me and you. Got to go in. We're green like them in two seconds. Absolutely. And it's not because we painted ourselves. No, somebody's, we got the green paint and we had a hand.

Yeah, you're right. That's a good point. All right, thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat today. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. Okay? It's free. What else are you? For now.

Thank you. Have you told them yet? Thank you. Have you told them? This is the dessert section. You don't. tell that kind of news over dessert. When do you tell them?

You tell them, you know, maybe the second course. Okay. Second course. You get the soup and you chit-chat a little bit, and then you get the first course, and you get into that. Maybe about halfway through the first course. Is the first course the appetizers, or is that the meal?

No. Dude. The appetizers are not a course. So when do, so I get my soup, and salad. Is that course number one? As your beginning. So that's course number one. As you're beginning. Okay, so course number one. That's your beginning. And then the appetizers.

When they bring some more food in, that's course. And then when in the dessert section, that's the end. Okay, so when do we tell them? So when do we tell them? Well, we're not going to tell them over dessert. You don't ruin. I mean, we've had such a nice dinner. Yeah. You've had such a nice dinner. You drink your coffee and the cake just walked in. It's got a little cake on some new fresh hot vanilla ice cream or cold on the hot cake. And, you know, you don't want to spoil it. They don't want to spoil it.

You just don't. So just subscribe to the podcast while you can for free. Wherever you get your podcast, any platform, that's where you get them. Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. Hello.