Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 215 | Fat Pile Friday - Who's Cheating EDITION

Episode Date: October 4, 2019

We found the phone so Jeffy decided to play some of the best voicemails left by you. Careful if you live in Utah because a bison is attacking people. If you have a sexy bikini make sure to not post pics on social media because they might fire you. Then Jeffy once again hates on Kris Cruz because he was a military police aka gate guard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now a Blaze Media podcast. Welcome to it. Chewing the Fat with yours truly, Jeff Fisher. Thank you so much for going along for the ride. Appreciate it. It's good to have you along. Be sure you can email me at Chewing the Fat at theblaze.com or you can follow me on Twitter at Jeffie JFR. Facebook and Instagram is Jeff Fisher Radio.

So a few months ago, we told you about a man that was gored by a bison in Utah. And for some reason, he decided to the, go back to the same park and stroll around. And he brought his girlfriend. And he said, hey, let's come with me. He just was to go for a walk.

We'll walk through the park and we'll just enjoy the sunset. It's Utah. It's beautiful. And, you know, just hang out here. And she got bored with him. No, oh, no. Oh my gosh.

No, not at the state park. Holy cow. What kind of bad person are you? it's okay for the bison to do the goring but humans no so she gets bored with him as they're out walking and she gets up

she probably had to go take him go to the bathroom there's no bathroom so he went behind a tree probably but she went and ran up in front of them ahead of him and she got up in front ahead of him and she passed a bison she sees a bison she looks at him

she said I gave him a wide berth uh you know I walked by slow then she said well instead of waiting here by the mile marker for the boyfriend, Kyler, because I don't know when he's going to catch up to me. I don't know what's wrong with him. Maybe he's still limping from the last time he got gourd from a bison.

She decides that she's going to, you know, walk back to, walk back to Kyler. Now, she says, I saw the bison again, and I gave him a wide berth. And, you know, I was okay. And then all of a sudden, four bicyclists come strolling down the road and spooked him. damn bicyclists You can't take them anywhere And I know they were doing everything legal And just enjoying the park

I got it But you spooked the bison And the bison charged her Gorda flew her up into the air Broke her ribs, broke her ankle Now she's suffering Now it might be that they're both wearing The same cologne

They both smell the same I don't know what the deal is Maybe they have some kind of You know Anti-Bison stuff on them And it doesn't work and the bison, it's actually, hey, this is a, this is a good smell. This is a bison goring smell instead of an anti-bison goring smell.

I don't know. But now they've both been gored by bison at the same park. Man, oh man. So the next time you want to go to the state park where there's bison, you got somebody you want to be gored? Go with them. Okay, this story kind of ticks me up. Don't wear on animals. We might as well stick on animals.

Okay. Now you know how much I love Gatorland in Florida. It's in Orlando. technically, Kissimmee. I know it. But I love Gatorlands. One of my favorite places on Earth to go. And it's so much fun feeding the gators.

And what do you feed them? Hot dogs. Okay? And you can feed them armor hot dogs if you want. Because the hot dogs, even though it doesn't say in the commercial, the commercial says fat kids, skinny kids, kids, kids who climbing rocks. Smart kids, no kids. Sissy kids.

What are you, Joe Biden now? Sissy kids. you could not do that commercial in today's world but there's a park in Japan that has now found in the stomach of a dead alligator over 330 coins

so people are tossing coins and I guess they think the gator is the wishing well yeah gator scrimm wishes you didn't know that no I didn't but now you do no I did I wish someone at Gatorland knew this, maybe it would be a way for them to enhance some money at the park.

But we need to get a hold of Gatorland. And they need to contact the zoo in Japan and say, yo, Japan. Hot dogs, not coins, okay? Hot dogs, not coins. Somebody get Gatorland on the phone. It's Fat Pile Friday. I've got a stack of stuff, stack of fat, pile of fat, pile of fat, lump of fat, whatever it is. No, not you, Jeff, the stories.

Yeah, no, that's what I'm talking about. But we also have voicemails. I know we haven't gotten to voicemails in a while because someone misplaced the phone in his luxurious automobile. But the CTF hotline, powered by Patriot Mobile, 214-7359356. People still were leaving messages.

And this is something Now I'm getting angry. Why are you texting? Stop texting. 214-7359356. It upsets Chris. He doesn't like it. He only responds to maybe none of them.

Only the ones that tell me that... Oh, so you have responded to them. Only to the ones that tell me that they're going to send me food. And then I give him a little wink. and why do we not have food hear from them then? Oh, I'm giving you the food. I got some almond cookies.

I got you the food. Okay, so we it's got people we're calling, though, and we do have some voicemails to get through on Fat Pile Friday. So we'll give through a couple of voicemails and we'll hop on some fat pile stories and then we'll get back to the voicemails.

But we have a voicemail, 8,249 from the JD. Hey, Jesse, hey Chris, this is J.D. from Houston. I figured I'd call and give you an update about Atlantis, given that

the city is completely underwater. Oh, I know. No, I'm just kidding. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. But it is. It was pretty bad. I'm from Florida. We handle rain like chance. We handle hurricane like champ. Thank you. We bring it on.

Apparently. not in Houston. Fist bump to J.D. We can't even take a tropical depression without going into a botanic. It's like Atlanta where there's an inch. But that, now we do know from two people that love Houston, well, one person who loves it, one person who doesn't, but they both live there, Pat Gray and Keith Mellanek. Houston floods all the time.

People cry and the park floods. They built the one park downtown to flood. That's what they built the park for. It's there and it's supposed to be where the water goes. to flood. And then it does. And then other places still flood. So it was a great engineering prowess there. Just snow on the ground. But anyway, I will say it did

get pretty significant in some areas. I was actually on the drive Saturday when I'm calling, but I was on the drive Friday night from Houston. I mean, I appreciate the update. Did I call JD for an update? It's just outside of Houston between Houston and Beaumont. Right. For about five hours. all because there was about 100 feet of flooding on one of the roads.

Yeah, they shut them down, man. They were backed up. Large sections of I-10 completely shut down. Most section was taken out by a barge that ran into the bridge. I know I saw that too. We know these stories. Maybe you give us a live report on something else. It was insane.

The amount of flooding, the amount of damage. I'm talking just buildings up to their windows and water. I drove by a post office that was filled with water at about two and the morning. Whoa, we can't have that. Just crazy weather. And it's impressive. That's what happened.

There's right there. Those of you that live in the greater Texas area, if you want to, you know, miss a bill or two, tell them you said it, apparently it was routed through the Houston Post Office. And, uh, pooh. Man, it's flooded. And look, I kind of have to send you the, I'll send you a look at the, man, I wish I had enough time to send another check right now, but I'll get to it.

Just a storm can ruin an entire city. And being from Florida, I'm thinking, okay, Harvey, yeah, flooding. Come on, guys, it wasn't that bad. No, this rainstorm put people into a frenzy. And as a Floridian, it was incredible to see how, how... Let me ask you a question, Chris. Versus a place like Miami would. Anyways, love the podcast.

20, rated 20 stars. I tell everyone. I grab their phones and I love you for that. I love JD for that. Talk as long as you want. Go ahead. Is that it? I don't think he'd ever end.

I appreciate the live reports. It's been better for you to call me and said, hey, I've climbed up on top of a semi here. We're stuck on 35 outside of Houston. We can't go anywhere because the roads are flooded and here's some video for you to post some live reports. Do I get any of that?

No, I get reports I already know about. I didn't know about the post office, though, but thank you. Was there a little question? I want to ask though. When you, is there, like you're in charge of the hotline.

Okay. Powered by Patriot Mobile. You know that. You know that. Don't act like you're not in charge of it. Hell, you lost the damn phone. I know,

I got it. Is there no, like, time limit on the voicemail? No, there's that. They could just talk and talk and talk and talk until the, their little hearts feel like they're satisfied.

Okay. all right so let's go to uh 12,248 chippy trucker Dan the handyman oh hey trucker Dan what's happening you got the horn pause

why didn't I have not heard the horn yet can you just give him hey trucker dad Jeffie this is trucker Dan I mean oh okay okay did you tell him that's the proper way for trucker to call it is trucker etiquette what is you in the etiquette the last two days You'd be phone etiquette, trucker etiquette,

what are people, you've been hanging out with a Royal Butler way too long. There's things that have to be. Okay. It just have to be. Let's listen to Trucker Day. Don't be a rude and thoughtless pig to me. One more time, we've been waiting for the chewing the fat with trucking Jeffey.

I know. With his sidekick Chris. All right. Am I smuggling Chris? someone. That's all for you. Thank you, Jesse. Roll it back. I can hear it. Thanks, Trucker Dan. I appreciate it.

Roll it back, so I missed it. I was talking. Big fat mouth. With his sidekick, Chris. Yeah. All right. That's all for you. Thanks, Jeffrey. What is that like the Disney horn?

And Chris. By the way, did he call you an A-hole? That's what I don't know. Can we rewind this back? Because I think he calls you an A-hole. All right, here we go. Again. Don, that's the whole thing, dear Lord.

That's all for you. Thanks, Jeffrey. I think he does. I think he does, Jeffie. That's highly offensive. Trucker Dan, what did Jeffrey do to you? Please show me on this truck where he touched you. Is this the same trucker Dan that needs a date?

I don't know. I don't know if that's a joke. I'll go back in my records. Because we... But I do want to... You know, I was listening to another show the other night, and they're promoting their trucker podcast. Oh, nice.

And I'm thinking, you sons are. Is he there, Tiger? That's mine. That's mine. I got sponsors. I'm sorry? I got sponsors. Please, I need you to show me at least one of those sponsors.

That trucker stuff is. mine. I'm the trucker fan. I believe truckers run America. Always have. Is that like more on trivia? Yes. Okay. Anyway.

At least he did. Now, I will say, trucker Dan, you use the salad fork for dinner and the dinner fork for salad, but you did finally, you know, use the right silver. That's all for you.

That is the phone that's good I like it it's like it's like the cartoons all right and then we have this then I have one which is the marathon one is that going across the country yeah this guy called us over the weekend all right so he's traveling across the country and this is where this is where I realized we don't have time limits

on the voicemails now I found his reports they were funny they were all four times I appreciate it he called four times he's traveling across the country listening to chewing the fat. Bless your heart. That's how everybody that's listening to chewing the fat, that's how you should be listening to chewing the fat. Bless your heart.

Just binge it across the country. Now, so I'm not going to play all four. My gosh, I can't do the whole show. Well, you can. It is your show, and you can. You know what? That's something you need to commit to memory. But we'll get the last one in.

How long is this one, eight and a half minutes? Eight and a half. It's not bad. You can make it through the eight and a half. What's the number? Oh, it's only eight. It's only eight minutes. It's 12,253.

What do you mean what's the number? Hey, Jevy. Hey, Chris. This is the last time I'm probably calling this weekend. I just finished up my week's worth of binging, chewing the fat podcast. All of it was 20 stars. I love you for that. I just wanted to let you know if you're ever curious how many miles you're a week worth

of chewing the fat podcast will get you. All right, Jeff Fisher. How many miles would a playlist of chewing the fat? So that's Monday to Friday. Yeah, it would depend on. It's Monday to Saturday. Is he listening to Talking Walking Dead on Monday and the podcast and the Chewing the Fat podcast? Or is he just listening to Monday through Friday chewing the fat?

Monday to Friday chewing the fat. Okay. How many miles do you think? How many miles will it take him to get to listen to the entire chewing the fat? She's traveling 55 miles an hour. I don't think that matters. It certainly does. Okay, fine, fine.

He's traveling 55... I'm sorry, if he's traveling 55 miles an hour, he needs to get off the road. He's traveling at 56 miles an hour. Thank you. Thank you. So, you're traveling and listen to an hour's show, which is 55, 55 times five is 550, right?

55 times five is something? 18? No, so he'd probably travel about 18 miles. About 300 miles. He is traveling at 55 miles an hour. Dude, what are you doing? There's a way accelerator. Let him tell you where he started from.

Like maybe there was traffic on the street or something. You don't know that. About 300 miles. I started in Lafayette, Louisiana this morning, early this morning, and just left Mobile, Alabama. I'm about 282 miles, but I fast forward through some of the interviews. sorry. Oh, see, there you go.

I knew it. Thank you. Thank you. So my calculations of 18 were correct. Anyway, I love the podcast. Talk to you guys later. I kind of fast forwarded through those interviews too, man. We fast forward to his voice too, too.

It's all good. You know, anytime you get to that point where you got to hit the FAA. You fast forward. You're good, man. No question. All right. So we've got a few more. Fat Pile Friday voicemails to get to.

But I'll tell you about we've got some fat pile stories to get to, too. I really want to talk about the college football being paid too. It's just, this story drives me insane. And we'll get to it. But I first want to tell you about this lady who lost her job

because she had a picture of herself in a bikini. She lost her job. Don't you usually gain a job when you post those kind of pictures? Well, I'm sure she's got a couple on the hook on. Oh, okay, okay, okay. It doesn't necessarily say that, but they said, yeah, no, it's not professional content on her social media accounts.

Now I looked at it. You got a little bit of underboob, but there's nothing in the stomach showing. I mean, it's fine. It's just a female and a bikini, right? Would I stop and look at it twice? Sure. I'd do that with almost any bikini shot.

Just two bikini shots? Is that what you said about here? No, almost any of them. But it shows her in a pool. By pair. I like to look at my bikinis by pair. It shows her in a pool and she's just saying, where does she work?

She was horrified when the company called her out for having a bikini photo on her social media channels. She said in the caption, uh, in a swimming pool wearing a bikini, got to cool off somehow. Boy, that's horrible. That pornographic

slut. Right. That's a slut right there. Thank you. She said that they called her in and said it's unacceptable. We can't have this and you're out. Have a nice day. Now it doesn't say that

the company kick-ass masterminds with the company kick-ass masterminds is concerned about a bikini photo on the social media. One more time. One more time was the company's name? Kickass masterminds.

I mean, come on now. Yeah, slow your role, baby. Right. Your name is kickass. Thank you. Maybe, I don't know, grab that bikini shot and put it on the freaking billboard and put kick ass on her boob. This is who works here.

Want to work here too? So, earlier this week, I think. Maybe it was in the week. I don't remember. I'm all confused now on Fat Pile Friday and voicemail day. We heard about Stacey Dash, the actress, in Pasco County, Florida, fighting her husband. They called the plea, got into an argument,

and the police showed up, Pascoe County Sheriff's Department, got bless their hearts. Who's that? Is that Tampa? Pasco? A little north. A little north. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Yeah, it's on the west side. A little north. But it is, Poo-Poo! Pasco County is known for its fine trailer parks. I don't know where, I don't know where Stacey lives. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm hoping that Stacey lives in maybe a double wide with a porch.

I hope so too. Yeah, I'm hoping that her and her husband have done okay. A double wide. There are some nice places in Pascoe County. I'm just teasing. But it was known for a number of years. Shut up. It's Florida.

Shut up. You don't need to freaking. I love Florida, my friend. I know. That's what I'm saying. It's my love. I'll be there. next week.

Florida is my love. You'll be there next week. We've got shows to do. Talking about. Oh yeah, by the way. Next week. Oh my gosh, no. This was not approved.

I don't. Don't. Yes, this is your show. Don't. Yes, this is your show. We're done. But I don't need to get approval for me to go see my son. when you need to be off work,

do you need approval from me? I don't give a crap if you're going to see Grandpa in the hospital. Yeah, I'm going to see him too. Yeah, he is. I don't care if it's your damn parents serving food and a drive-thru. Yes.

I don't care if it's your ex-wife. I do care about that. I don't care if it's the kid. I'm not doing. I, it's approval from me, my friend. Holy cow. Did I miss up the whole Friday? it's Friday let's be happy

okay so we told you about Stacy Dash and her husband could fight Pasco County shows up and they because Stacey says that the husband was pushing her and that uh and had her in a choke lock that she got to get out of that choke lock and scraped him

now the the police department said well we saw the scrapes on his arm so she got arrested all right okay where do you go on that case Jeffrey do you put her in jail or do you put him in jail They're probably both used to arguing and fighting all the time, right? So you just got to kind of say, hold up.

I don't think I would have rested her. I would be like, hey, do you have somewhere to stay? And 24 hours don't see each other. I don't think they should have arrested her. But you're not good enough to be a Pascoe County police officer. No, no, no, no, no. You were just a cop at the gate, guarding the gate at the military establishment, right? I mean, isn't that what you're doing?

Then you ask, why am I leaving next week to Florida? No, I didn't ask Honestly, I didn't ask why you were leaving I'm just saying you have to get an approved Then you wonder Why I don't ask for approval from you The last two days Just been bashing me

Yesterday you bashed me about the stupid audio Of Alec Paul in which I had the audio Oh yeah, well that was kind of true And then today you're like You're not good enough to be a cop you were just a gate card Which is true I was a gate guard Oh so

I was a gate guard Oh, no, I know that. But I graduated and became a policeman. Oh, that's so good. Yes. I don't believe you. When you're the gate guard, let me ask you something. Do they make you, like, wax, though?

Yes. You're cleaning the whole thing up. Windows, walls. The car that they set the gate. Yep. Yeah. You're responsible for that. Yep.

Of course, sure. Don't you have like, is there a hierarchy? Oh, yes. I'm sure. Yes. You're the new kids here. Oh, yeah. It's like the intern.

The wood needs to be waxed. Yeah, that one striper. Yeah, you're cleaning that car. And we want to shining. Oh, yeah. I want to see my face. I want that belt buckle shined, okay? Oh, well, that was, yes.

I want the car. Belt buckle shine. Yes. Yeah. Shushine, yes. So anyway, we've heard about says, yes. Now we're hearing about another lady, a Louisiana woman. Maybe this is something.

Didn't we just hear from one of our callers? A marathon guy who came from. Louisiana, right? Maybe that's what he was running away from. From Lafayette, Louisiana. This story is initially from... Not Lafayette, Louisiana. Well, just sitting in Louisiana.

You don't know where it is in Louisiana? West Monroe, Louisiana. Oh, that's where Phil Robinson is. So do we need to call Phil? Maybe. Maybe he needs to be careful because this woman, well, she's in jail now. Oh, so he's okay.

So a Louisiana woman is in trouble because the police showed up. Her and her husband got into a fight because he came home for a long day at work and with the girlfriend or the, I'm sorry, the alleged girlfriend. I've been married for 12 years and the wife said, I initiated the verbal altercation. Like, hey, doucheback, you're cheating on me. You look like an idiot.

Yeah, you're cheating on me and what the hell is this? I'm here at this house with four kids and you're out cheating on me. That's not going to happen. No, what she did. The only guns she could find were the two Nerf guns. Oh, she... And so she beat the hell out of the wife with the... Oh!

...husband with the Nerf guns. She didn't we shoot him with the Nerf guns? I don't know. She may have shot him after she beat him with the guns. So the police show up. For what? She's in the driveway. Aggravated Nerf guns?

They probably pulled their guns. Those Nerf guns... I don't know if they did. I don't know if they did. Slow it out. Because we love the cops. here, so slow down. So after being read her rights.

What? She admitted, yeah, I attacked my husband. He was cheating on me. I attacked him. She's arrested. For, you know, okay. Questionable. She's upset.

They're fighting. She's got weapons. Nerf weapons that spit out. You ever been hit by a Nerf guns? Yes. I mean, by a woman that's angry with you with the Nerf guns? Yes. and I'll be shot by it too.

Okay, so how's that make you feel? It feels great, Jeff Fisher. Very manly. Right? Yes. So she's arrested for domestic battery. Oh, shut up.

Aggravated assault. Child endangerment, because the four kids were home. Oh, my gosh. I am so sick of you being a police officer. It drives me insane. She, that's the cop of you right there. Jeffrey, you know, the children were there.

He would not harm the children. She was mad at the husband. She's home all day with the kids. The children witnessed this assault. Yeah, they witnessed it. They witnessed mom being pissed at dad because he's out cheating. So now the kids will be traumatized and you cannot have a person that is willing to hit her husband

with a Nerf gun. She could turn around and hit the kids as well. Get off my property. Seriously. Get off. It's a very serious. Go ahead. There's four kids, ma'am.

Ma'am, you got four kids. I bet you the ages are from like six months to three-year-old and they're little babies. It doesn't say. But I bet you that's what they are. I'm sure that, yeah. I mean, four kids, 12 years. They've been married for 12 years. Yeah.

So the oldest is probably 18. Okay. Okay. You know, maybe she's, She had one out of one lock. The youngest is, the youngest is zero. So, you know, I could see that. But, uh, come on now.

Yeah, that's, that's child and digital man. You're not supposed to be violent in front of your kids. You can't create a hostile environment when you have four kids in a trailer. It says they were home. It doesn't say it. In a trailer. Yeah, it's Louisiana. No, that was Stacy Dash.

Stacy was in Pascoe County. This was in, this was in West Monroe. Oh, yeah, a trailer. Trail. I mean. They might have a double wide. but that's a girlfriend. Yeah.

No, no, no porch. No porch. But yeah, that's a child and edgerman. So I agreed on that one, yeah. I don't agree on the assault one, but the child endangerment, absolutely. If you agree on the child endangerment, you have to agree on the assault. No, no. She's beating the crap out of him with the Nerf gun.

Calm down. It's a Nerf gun. It's still a weapon. Still a weapon. She's beating him up with the gun. Nerf gun. It's not shooting guns. She's not shooting him.

We don't know that. Okay, oh my gosh, he got hit by a Nerf bullet. I think it's okay. That foam hurts, okay? Yeah, you'll be alright. You know how much fun we used to have with those? Oh, yeah. When my oldest son was just a little kid in the neighborhood we lived in,

there was a thousand kids running around, and we all had. And how many kids right now in your neighborhood run around? Zero. Amazing. I mean, I don't say rarely do I see any kids. Like around the corner in my neighborhood now, the kids in one house and the kids across the street play basketball once in a while. Oh, that's it.

That's awesome. But that's it. I only see the kids coming out of school, and that's about it. I mean, you're right. Those days are gone, man. Yeah. But where was I going with? Oh, the Nerf guns.

The Nerf guns with your Elvis, son. Yeah, all the kids in the neighborhood. They're shoot each other, yeah. Yes, and my favorite was I had one of those Nerf bow and arrows. Oh, those were good. It was so good. I bought extra arrows. Of course he did.

I had extra arrows, man. Those kids, if I shot up, you're dead. You're out of the fight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, one, and you're gone. I'd be in the front yard shooting these kids with the arrows. It's so much fun, man. Oh, my gosh.

You know, next door to where I live, there's a Nerf Arena, Nerf Gun Arena. Of course there is. Because we don't have the kids playing outside with each other. We have to have the Nerf Arena. It's pretty cool, though. Be careful. You might get arrested for Nerf endangerment. or can't have the kids

witnessing mom and dad fighting. You make me sick. Speaking of cheating on your wife, I got a story out of Memphis, Tennessee. Oh, stop, stop. We got it wrong yesterday. No, not yesterday. When we talked about Elvis Presley,

you kept saying that Greystone is where? What did you say Grayson was? I just saw a tweet saying that we got it wrong. You kept saying that it's in, And what did I say, Nashville? Yes. And it's in Memphis. Yes.

I know, I know. A lot of people were upset. I apologize. Because if I said it was Nashville, if you're telling me that I did, then I did, I'll believe you that I did. And it was just because I was thinking about something else that I can't talk about on the air. Well, I mean, I can't, but I don't want to. Yeah.

And it was about Nashville. Yeah. Jonathan Harrison. I got it. You don't have to read the stupid thing. I understand. It's in Memphis, not Nashville. I know that.

Don't take the one. good thing away from us and give it to those hippies. I apologize. From the bottom of my heart until the end of time, I apologize. Okay. And I love Memphis. I truly, I love Memphis outside of Graceland being there.

I mean, one of my favorite John Hyatt songs is let's go to Memphis. I mean, if you're not familiar with that song, well, it's great. Let's go to Memphis in the meantime, baby. I love that song.

But I apologize from the bottom of my heart. It was a complete oversight. and I didn't do it on purpose. And I do know. I do know that Graceland is in Memphis and I apologize. Happy? Happy? Happy? Oh, I don't care, but the listeners care.

So I want to talk about the guy of Memphis. Oh, my Graceland. Duh. The, uh, he, we were on cheating. So he tells police, I've been carjacked. Okay, I got this big, I got to been carjacked.

And these two men carjacked me. I was just sitting in my vehicle. And I don't know what happened. The car, you know, they just took off. And so then the police ran the license plate like they always do. They can't just take somebody's word for it. They discovered the vehicle that actually been towed from the avenue that he was on a couple hours ago. and the reason it was towed

was because he was inside with his girlfriend and he didn't want his wife to know that he was with his girlfriend so he said he was car jacked dun dun dun so what is it to the police why do they have to tell the wife

that the car was towed well you know it is against the law for you to cheat on your wife wait that's against the law yes no it is not I mean, it's against, you know, God's moral law, yes, but it's also against the law. You're cheating on your wife.

What the hell kind of country do we live in? But you can't seat on your wife legally. This, that has got to be changed. All right, sometimes laws are agonizing. Now, I'm going to tell you about a law that's agonizing, then we're going to get back to cheating laws because, uh, We found out that really is not the whole country. So there are some states.

It's states, right. There's some states that it's not illegal to cheat on your spouse. And like I'm not saying anything good or bad about it. I'm just saying that I hope Texas is one of those states. I'm sure it isn't, though, because Texas would be like, well, we take you out back and shoot you, cheating on your right. So this Canadian guy, a dental hygienist. You didn't call him a doctor, so good.

Because they're not doctors. No, no, no. He's lucky I'm even talking nice about him, but I'm on his side here. Oh, okay, okay. I know he's still a criminal for being anything to do with the dental profession. But what happened to him is wrong, okay? So he lost his license. And thank you, this is Canada.

But I'm saying it probably could happen here in the U.S. too. He lost his license because he was having a sexual relationship with a patient. Okay? We all, and, you know, they're not supposed to do that. It goes against their rules and all that stuff. But the relationship with his wife and the technicality makes him lose the license because the rule had not been changed. He was told by a friend that the law had been changed when it hadn't,

that it was okay that, you know, if you have an ongoing relationship, with someone it doesn't count. And so then they apparently they saw a picture together and some freak like Chris Cruz who goes by every rule in the book, I'm a police officer as those are the laws.

I don't follow the laws. You were going 56 miles an hour. It's 55. We're going to give you a ticket. That's absolutely me for sure. I did that a couple of times. I hate. Oh my God.

I don't even know why. I just had the radar. 56. Boop. Yeah. Washington 36. because it connected. Oh, my.

Because it fast you're going to. How can that be even proven? Those things are all those things that, those. It was calibrated. Oh, please. I calibrated before and after. Was it calibrated on that particular vehicle? Yes.

Yes, because I did it after and before I pulled the person over. Your Honor, instruct the witness to stop lying. Okay, that's what I want. All right. I like that. I like that. I like that. Just ridiculous.

Now it makes me honest. So let's go back to the states you could cheat on your spouse on. Okay, so there's 21 states that you can't cheat on your wife. 21 states, it's illegal. It's completely illegal. And what are some of the outcomes that happens to if you get caught? You get a fine. Do we know that, just fine?

Yes, you get a fine. Handslapped, divorce. It will be a class B misdemeanor. Okay. And a fine up to $1,200. Yeah. Plus you're going to have to deal with the wife or the husband. Yeah, yeah.

So Texas, it's okay for you to cheat here because you're right because they'll cheat you in the back. They'll take your back and poof. Little Mikey was no longer here. Now it's legal, but if you get caught, we get to shoot you. Okay, great. Idaho, Utah, Arizona. You can? You cannot cheat.

Oh. You get a fine or class B misdemeanor. Same with Texas. No, Texas, you could cheat whatever you want. You're not going to, Texas doesn't care. Nice. I mean, boy, that's a surprise. That's the furthest west you can get in trouble for cheating is Arizona, Utah, Idaho. Wow.

Then Oklahoma and Kansas, you cannot cheat. Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan. You cannot cheat. Wow. Florida, Georgia, Alabama. I'm glad I know that now. I'll tell you that. Florida. It's Michigan. There's some.

Florida. Oh yeah, Florida, Georgia, Alabama. I can't. You cannot. What? Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi. Is it illegal if you don't get caught? See, my belief is it's not.

If you get caught, yes. It's not a crime if you don't get caught. Exactly, yes. I do believe that, yes. Now, someone will say, it's still a crime. You just didn't get caught. Shut up. It's not a crime until you get caught.

South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York. Oh my gosh. Actually, my wife cheated on me on freaking Virginia. I didn't know about this. Not even the freaking lawyer. What? He didn't tell me.

I would have loved to fucking give a class. That should have been added on to the suit. Yes. And you definitely bring that up in the divorce proceedings. Yes. Right? I mean, you definitely bring that up in the divorce proceedings. That's, that's, I mean, that's key.

So in the state of North Carolina, adultery is. Ludely and Laszisly associate. Yeah. That's it. Lusidly and Lusitlis associate. Yes. Boy, that's not even really cheating. That's like hugging and kissing maybe.

Right? In South Carolina, adultery includes habitual carnal intercourse. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Duh. Habitual, though, that would mean, you know, maybe more than once.

If I'm in a turn, I'm fighting for it. It was one time. It wasn't even habit. In 2003, the Supreme Court ruled that Lawrence v. Texas, that sexual activity between consenting adult is legal and states laws banning homosexuals, saddemy, are unconstitutional. Oh, good. Okay. But in Maryland. But in Maryland.

Sorry, Mr. Police Officer. In Maryland, in Massachusetts, you could go. Are you ready? Are you ready? Maryland and Massachusetts, you could go up to jail up to three years. Wow. Are you, somebody, nobody talked to me about the candidates from Massachusetts. I'll tell you that.

Wow. And then if you're in the military, there'll be, you know, grounds for losing your job, dishonorable discharge, which I knew that, and I did not want to, you know, press charges. Oh, isn't that special? No, but I'm pissed. I didn't. Did you have your heart on your badge at the time? I didn't.

So nice of you. I didn't. Luke. But class B, misdemeanor? Yeah. Yeah. Depending on who, depending on who she or he is,

it might be worth it. But as we go through this, as we go through this, let's go to voicemail 12,262. Because as this, as we're breaking down the states of, you know, that you can cheat and can't cheat legally,

that reminds me of this voicemail. 12,262. CTF hotline, I have a question. Now, I recognize that at the time of this recording, the phone has not yet been recovered. If I were lingering the extremely vehicle for free or or killing in the middle of the highway.

I further understand that when you do find the phone, you might not consider this mistake important enough to listen to. Your Honor Is my entrusted colleague Getting to a point soon Or they're just rambling on And that's fine

But I still have a question How are two men As brilliant As just dishes Oh boy That's like You're usually so smart That's what I tell my wife all the time

She loves that man Now that's if you want to have fun and spend some time with your spouse and be together and enjoy each other. Just say, you're usually so smart. Both fully lacking in problem solving skills. My goodness. Has either you been around the phone?

Or is this kind of like Chris Cruz's relationship with geography and max? That's kind of a good point. Yeah, since the podcast has taught me the power of tutorials on difficult subjects that really shouldn't be difficult. Thank you. That's what I'm saying.

That's what we do here. We solve problems. What do you mean? We don't know how to, we have problems with problem solving. We'll now provide both of you a basic tutorial on voicemail. Okay. If you need to retrieve a message and you don't have the phone,

call yourself. Okay, stop for a second. And then you get the access code and you can listen to the voicemails. I understand. Okay, now she's making me mad. Now she's talking down to me. All right. I just want,

Go ahead. Enter the CTF online pass code and access your messages that way. Yeah, I know. This has only been a thing since forever. The beginning of time.

I know. Pause this for a second. I know I know this, all right? You want to know how I know it? Because this is how we used to get reports during hurricanes and storms when there was no cell service, right? And you can't, you have bad, sketchy cell service.

You had the reporter do the report on their voice. message. All right? Go to your phone. Call your number and do your voicemail. Your voicemail message is the report. So then I would call the voice mail.

I would call the phone and go to voicemail and then I have the report there. You could do that. I know that's not quite what you were talking about because you're talking about calling and then going into voicemail and accessing 4445 with my access code. And then if you want to hear the voicemail one, you have four. You have four on listen to do voicemails. Push one to listen, boom, okay. I got it.

What's her name? What's her name again? Does she tell us her name? I don't think she did. CTF hotline, I have a question. Okay. Or it's either you're deliberately ignoring our messages. And if that's the case, I have to admit,

I kind of can't blame you. Right. Get some problems solving skills. Wow. we continue to appreciate the work you do. Yeah, don't. Have a great day, guys. Don't. Thanks.

Don't try to be nice at the end. After you're trying to, you talk down to us for the whole thing. And then at the end, oh, we appreciate the work you're doing. Do you? Do you? Yeah. Chris probably believes you. Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts. All right, we might as well finish the voicemail.

here on Fat Pile Friday, uh, dessert, fat pile voicemail day. We still have, uh, 12,000, 256,

right? Hey, Jeffie and Chris Cruz. This is Jason from Oregon. A second. All right. I just want to be clear about something. Okay,

the last phone call we listened to, who was talking down to us and thinking that we're, you know, she's moving, you know, the problem solving you guys are usually so smart. Uh,

Notice how every call, except for hers, tells us their name. Yeah, they introduce themselves. That's, I don't know, you could call voicemail etiquette. Hmm. Amazing. I was just calling because I had a bit of an epiphany right now. So I was going to my high heart radio app. That's where I listen to your guys' podcast is the Iheart radio app.

Thank you. So my epiphany was, yesterday I got a little cause. Why are you looking like that? Where is he listening? Where is you talking from? Where do you have epiphanies from? Yeah, like listen to the background. I think we all know where epiphanies come from.

Yeah, but listen to his background noise. My I heart radio app, that's where I listen to your guys' podcast is the I heart radio app. So my-rest-up bathroom. Yesterday I got a little caught up with my dogs and playing with them and getting all their exercise done. I got a couple pretty high-strung animals. and so this morning when I was on my I-Hart radio app, I realized Okay, does he work for I-Hart?

I mean, every time I tell people to subscribe to the podcast on any social media, I always, eye heart is number two. Which is why he's in the bathroom. Thank you. Which is why he's in the bathroom. But it's iTunes and I-Hart. Always. That's the way I promote the podcast.

So if you're, you know, the I-Harp secret shopper is making the calls to all the podcasts or my heart I was not an eye heart we got it is he doing the survey

like they did on Chick-fil-A yes yes I have some chewing the fat left to listen to and I thought oh my gosh I have leftovers

it was an epiphany what do you think see the epiphany was that you had leftovers I mean am I supposed to think that that's what we should call

the dessert section he didn't say that just talking about his great epiphany of he has leftovers to get to i mean okay i'll put it to the list okay if that's what you meant i'll put it to the list i'm sure that's what you meant you didn't say it but you know i'll put it to the list all right so then we have uh and by the way thanks for thanks for calling um and that was oh i think that he says that was jason right is he the guy's going to beat up Jeffie? Oh, maybe I think. Yeah.

Yeah, that's an Oregon guy. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think he's going to be able to. Maybe he's on the road. Maybe he's on the road. Look at him driving around to find Jeffrey. So.

Yeah. I mean, be careful. Be careful because, you know, somebody might, what did you say? And you got to make sure it's him. Just look at the, I'm not saying, don't, I mean, whatever you do, don't do. Don't do that. pictures on his Twitter page what do you look like that for?

We got the next other call to go to. Give me the number. All right. They're in order. Hey, I just want to let you guys know. It's just Tasha. No, Natasha, just Tasha. Oh, hey.

Okay. Do you remember her? What, uh, take it easy. Tasha. I mean, did we call her Natasha? So she was the one that, she was our beautiful black African-American American-American. and CTF dating. She was one of the first ones.

And we were wondering, is it Tasha or Natasha? Oh, she got tacked off at us. Yeah. Because it's Tasha. Yeah. It's not my fault. Your parents didn't like nah? Wait, what?

And maybe they, did they like nah and you took it off? Or did the parents just not like nah and took it out? I don't know. I'm asking. I don't know what you have against. Nah. But I got it. I mean, we didn't call, we were questioning.

We just, we still called you, Tasha, right? We took the now off. So you can still be part of the dayating hotline. In fact, that should be your, you know, that could be on your information. Tasha, without the now. Hi, turn with that. It's exactly in.

Yeah. Oh, she's calling back again. Okay. My gosh. Calm down. What the hell? Tasha, I got it. We'll put it on the screen, Tasha.

Those of you watching live on Blaze TV that says, call her Tasha. Stop it hurts. Go ahead. Go ahead. It hurts. Um, just forget you know, when I see that you went ahead and look at the baby hotline.

Um, kind of cool. Um, I see it's going to pretty good and it should be a lot of fun for those. Unfortunately, I won't be able to participate because I married and I'm married to a Christopher. It's married to a principal? Is it married to a principal? Christopher.

Oh, Christopher. Do you killing me today? Christopher. Christopher, principal, same thing. I mean, A, Hey, maybe you get on the dating app as Natasha. There you go. And nobody knows who you are.

And what's it do you live in? We just got done covering, you know, states you can cheat. So. Why not say it's a dating app? That's the dating doesn't count as cheating, doesn't? Yes. No, it does not. Oh, I'm sorry.

If he's with the opposite gender, yes. I hate that. Um, but I just thought it was really good. who that we decided to go here to go with the dating hotline inspired by MWA. You're welcome. Oh, so it's okay. You like Bois, but you can't, you got something against Nah, right? I can't let this go.

I apologize, but I just can't let it go because the whole NAA thing is really kind of ticked me up. Go ahead. You guys have a good thing, and I'm going to be listening for that baby hot running. And I can't like. But you can't participate in. So she's a tease. You're married to the principal. No, Chris.

She's married to a Christopher. I know, that's what she said. She's married to the principal. Yeah, Christopher. She's a tease. Right. She's a tease. That's what's wrong with dating right now.

Girls like that I like to tease us. Because, I mean, once you swipe right, tees is off. Tease is the swipe, right? Okay. Are we done? I mean, I see. Is that it?

Yeah, that's all that you do is I see you shaking your head. Then I see you mouth words. But unless you do it to an on microphone, no one hears you. You have the reviews? Maybe you could do a combo of those. And talk about that guy that told me that I'm an obnoxious producer. You want to talk about him? Like that guy.

Who is this guy? Hold on. No, that's the guy from Twitter. He's not in there. Oh, that's right. Your fight. Yeah, it wasn't a fight. I would not call that a fight.

Twitter fight. You got all bent out of shape. I did not get bent on the chat. He's all pissed at that. You got all bent on a shape for him instead of fighting. You got to let it go. You have to let it go. It's Tasha.

I know that's what I said. The guy called you Natasha, you got mad too. What was the fight about again? Oh, because he called you an obnoxious producer. He said that why are there obnoxious producers in an network? He mentioned you along with Keith. And then Stu. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, some of our listeners are pretty astute. But a minimum of promise that I will stop talking. So let's see how it works. Well, we already know how that promise worked, don't we? Natasha. We all already know how that promise worked. I mean, all I see on these reviews, let's see,

I'm laughing out loud at work with my earbuds in. I heart, Jeffrey. I'm sorry? I'm laughing at work out loud. This is 20.999. I'm laughing out loud at work with my earbuds in. I heart Jeffie. And there's more?

I can't make it out. Do you need me to make it up for you? I have a screenshot of that. Do you do? Yeah, do you want me to read the rest? Sure. Okay. Which reviewer?

And is it? And Chris? Oh, is that it? I can't make it out. I heart Jeffie. And Chris. Weird. It doesn't look like that.

It doesn't look like that on my page. And, and I don't look like that on my page. Chris, right at the bottom. And MTS, Lorry, Lori, Lori, Lori. She spelled it correctly too. So I will definitely like that one, yeah. Avatar Minion. Ooh, I like that one.

Just put stars in the best podcast ever. Is that 20 of them? One, two, three, four. Don't count them. We don't have time to count on. 11, 12, 13, 14, 14. No, it says plus 50. Oh, I see what they did.

They gave me the five-star review, and then she added 15 plus 15. That's why she put plus 15. That is smart, Avatar Minion. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. It's kind of cute. By the way, this one just came in. You don't have it there.

I forgot. It says... Is that right, Alec? This is not an approved content. No, seriously, it just came in. It says, and the difference was like, why you... It's almost impersonationation. me. And it's not me. It says five stars. Yep. Best

podcast ever, 20 stars by Chris. It's not me. Yeah, right. No, it's not me. Yeah, right. We've got this review, 20 stars now. Best podcast ever since the host Jeff Fisher started co-hosting with Chris Cruz. Whoa. I'm going to finish read. I could make all this up, but I should stop right there. Since host Jeff Fisher started co-hosting with Chris Cruz. I know the title is Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher, but the true stars Chris Cruz without him, Jeffie wouldn't have a show.

Well, remember what I said was some listeners are astute? This guy is on point. That means that some listeners are not. But then he goes on, update. I was wrong. Chris is a jerk. Oh, what the hell? Jeffie is the best host who's ever hosted in the existence of hosts.

Again, he's back to being an astute listener. Have a great weekend.