Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 22 | Is Liam Neeson a Racist?

Episode Date: February 5, 2019

Jeffy takes you to the water cooler, but first a word from Liam and Jeffy apologize to Jet Blue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know when you hear something or you see something in today's world, that gut reaction of good, good, let's watch them eat their own. And then you actually look at what you're supposed to see or you listen to what you're supposed to hear, the entirety. and you realize that's not the way it is. I'm so mad right now. I wanted to be so mad and happy at the same time that Liam Neeson was going to get eaten by his own crowd

for being this racist, bigoted Hollywood, behind under the skin, hatred. Because ever since he went against guns, after his big time movies of killing people all over the world. Liam Nixon killing people all over the world. But in real life guns are bad. And people shouldn't have guns.

Shut up. I was so happy with the story. I was hoping to kill a black man after a family member was raped. And everybody calling him a racist. But we're going to delve into it a little bit so you actually know what was said. and I think you'll realize we can't hate Liam Neeson for this

All right so this is well for lack of a better title Chewing the Fat investigates Don't Don't Well we got to I mean Chewing the fat investigates

Don't tune In the criminal justice system No, I can't do Law & Order. That's bad. Can't steal from Law & Order. Although it's classic, though. Right? In the podcast network system,

there's one entity, thin and fat. These are their stories. Dun-ton. Or this is a story. Dun-tun. Chewing the fat investigates. All right. Liam Dyson, big news all over the, all over the, all over TV, all over radio.

He's a racist. He wanted to kill a black person. He went out, he wanted to kill a black person. And the interview that we're seeing is, is this. And we're also hearing it, by the way. I know this is a podcast. We're also seeing it. So is this.

I did it for maybe a week. Hoping some. would come out of a pub and have a go of me about something, you know, so that I could kill him. Okay. So now you're thinking, did he drop the N-word? You see when they type up what he's saying, they always type up black, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

Oh, he said the N-word. He absolutely said the N-word. That's, I mean, that's the only thing he could have said. That's the only thing he could have said. I wanted to kill I wanted to I went out for a week and looking for a black N word and uh so I could kill him all right and he did it because somebody a friend of his got hurt and he was such a racist such a hater that he just went out and he didn't matter he was going to just go out and kill he just went and went looking for a black N word so he could kill him and we get to we get to watch them eat or oh try to try to cover wash him wash him wash him to wash him clean from that, please. Oh, yeah. A lot of Hollywood were saying, is he running for Virginia

governor? Well, I don't know if Liam can do the moonwalk. I mean, it's possible that he could, you know, has anyone asked Liam? Well, he did appear at GMA. We don't know. They may have asked him. Can you moonwalk? Who's that Robin Roberts?

Robin might probably didn't ask that. You got to get some guy working for the pick of you in times or something. as possible you can still moonwalk? If you have not seen that video, you have to. We played that. Go back and watch the News and Why It Matters from yesterday.

I was on it along with Jason Butchell and Andrew Heaton and, of course, Sarah Gonzalez. And we played the tape of him being asked if he could still moonwalk in his decree that the blackface wasn't him. But hey, he did play Michael Jackson once before. and dance contest at San Antonio and reporter asked him if he could still moonwalk and he is so close to moonwalking I mean he looks at the stage like I could still

there's plenty of room we want to know there's room there I could do it he was so close to doing it and the wife pulled that chain man and you're right Jeffie I don't know if you know if you know wives carry little chains like that and you read about every time I watch it I just hope that he does it I want it. Every time.

I know he's not going to do it. I know he's not going to do it. But like for a silly saying, oh, he's going to do it. Just do it. There's that. There's that. There's that. Just before the wife yanks the chain, he, he realized he looks, he knows there's room.

He's going to do it. And his mindset's like, oh, this will give me all clear. If I moonwalk. Right. Don't know. It's true that I want a smart reaction. Change jerk! Oh, no.

It's just, it is tremendous. Tremendous. You can go back. We aired it on Pat Unleash this morning. too I was filling in for Pat. But either one, either one of those, either one of those watch just so you see the video, it's tremendous. Back to Fat Investigates.

Dun-tum. All right, so we believe now that he's a racist, bigot, hater, Liam Neeson, Hollywood star. We want to not like him after, for the past, for his past comments about guns in America. Why not like him? He's made a fortune here in America, and he's going to bad mouth the Second Amendment here in America,

and we want to not like him. And we want to be more happy, because now, They get to try to run him through the dishwasher or the car washer, or wherever you run Liam through to wash him clean, and try to backwash it, right? So, and then you listen to the interview that actually took place. What they're talking about, the Good Morning America interview, was him coming on to talk about the interview where he actually talked about his friend getting raped and why he talked about that, and how it got there and what actually happened the entire two minutes of this interview with the

independent and it's not like when these guys come by the independent like they just drop in they just drop in do they do they're just like hey there's the independent i got nothing to do i'm in new york i'm just going to stop in hey is that the today show corner i'm just going to stop in every one of them they're hawk and their wares that's what they do that's what they do it's not like they Oh, I think I'll go on. I think I'll go do all the night, the nighttime late shows. No, they're hawking their wares. And this is how I know they do that because every time I say, hey, Jeffrey, let's book a guess.

He goes, what are they pushing? Are they hawk in there? I get it. I get it. It's okay. That's what they do. And that's what we're here for. Look, everybody washes everybody's back.

I got it. I got it. And we're here. In radio, you're there. The person on the radio is there to fill times between commercials. I got it. I got it. I've been in the business long enough.

I understand the deal. And everybody, you know, hey, I can come in, but I got, I want to talk about my charity. I want to talk about my book. I want to talk about this. You can ask me what you want about some other stuff, but, you know, I got, I'm in this new movie. We're talking about the movie. That's what we're talking about. And that's why a lot of times you see the actors won't talk about other stuff because

they're there just to talk about their new movie. And that's all they want to talk about. And you just want to strangle them because you're like, well, then screw your new movie. I want to talk about some other stuff. stuff with you too because the other people want to know about it. All right. So anyway, back to fat investigates. So let's hear the independent interview with Liam.

I'll tell you a story. This is true. I'm not going to use any names. Okay. So pause for just a second. Now, he was asked how he gets into these roles. He's in his new movie. I haven't heard this whole clip yet.

So it doesn't show what he was asked about. But he was asked by the independent how he gets. gets into these roles because he's the new movie is cold pursuit uh it's it's about revenge but i guess it's a dark comedy which you know maybe he's trying he's trying to branch out it's i can branch out to a dark comedy and still kill people in my movies okay i could do that but he was asked how he gets into these roles now he's played look i mean taken as a franchise alone and uh he's been in other movies that where he you know the the wolf one or what it's gray it's called Gray where he was after the, you know, he's a big time killer.

But that's what he does. All right, that's his movies. And he gets in, and you feel it, right? I mean, that's what makes him Liam Neeson plays the role. You feel it, right? How does he get into those roles? I'll tell you a story. This is true.

I'm not going to use any names, but I was away and I came back. And she told me she had been raped. But she handled the situation of the rape in the most extraordinary way. But my immediate reaction was, I asked, did she know who it was? No. What color were they? She said it was a black person.

I've been up and down here it is with a cosh, hoping I'd be approached by somebody. I'm ashamed to say that, and I did it for maybe a week. Oh my God. Hoping some black bastard would come out of a punch. I have to go up me about something, you know. Wait.

He didn't say the N-word. Black bastard. It was black bastard. There's no reason to bleep that out, except if you want people to believe that he said the N-word. And he talked about how he gets into these bad guy roles because of the primal urge that he felt at that time. He got help.

He went to a priest. He got help, but he talked about that's how he gets into the role because he goes back to how he felt then. Which is normal. All right. So now, not only do we know he's not racist because he asked, do you know who it was? No. What color they were.

They were black. Okay. So now he knows it was a black person, right? He doesn't know who the black person was, but he's so angry with the primal urge. He wants to go out and have a black person start something with him. He's not starting anything with them. He's out waiting. I wanted some black bastard or someone.

someone to come up to him and say, what are you doing here? And then he would be able to get into this fight, which by the way, never happened. Zero happened. He did it for about a week and then he realized, what am I doing? What am I doing? And went to his priest. Now he uses that to build up energy for his movies. I am so angry.

I can't be mad at him. I don't know what to do. What else? From Liam. Black bastard. Oh, we already heard that. Of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know. So I could kill him.

And it was out, it took me a week, maybe a week and a half to kind of go for that. And she said, where are you going? I said, I'm just going out for a walk, you know. What's wrong? No, no, no, that's wrong. It was horrible, horrible when I think back. But I did that. And I've never admitted that to it.

I'm sending it to a journalist. God forbid. Holy-h-h-h- It's awful. It's awful. But I did learn a lesson from it when I eventually thought, what the s'm doing, you know? And I come from a society. I grew up in Northern Ireland and the troubles. And, you know, I knew a couple of guys that died at Humberstrike.

And I had acquaintances that were very caught up in the troubles. And I understand that need for revenge. But it just leads to bad play. More revenge. Right. and more killing. It never ends. I heard of none.

It's proof of that, you know. All the stuff that's happening in the world of the minute. The violence is proof of that, you know. So it's, so but that, yeah, primal need, I understand. You can relate to that.

You can relate to that. That's how you get there for your movies. Come on. I mean, I think that's, well, it's not wonderful, but it's definitely an explanation of how he gets.

gets to that primal urge that he uses in his films. And by the way, we did use two beeps. He did not use the N-word. One was the S-word. Yes. One was the F-word. Yes. If it were up to me, you would have heard them.

Yes, exactly. So he did not say the N-word. I feel bad that I aired and said the B-word when he, the Black B-word. I feel bad about that. But- It needs to know that he did not say the N-word because people think that he said the N-word. Right. Anyway, I want to

apologize to Liam Neeson. I want to apologize, and I want to say, Liam, the bad thoughts I had for you were misplaced. They were wrong. You're still in a bad place with me with the whole Second Amendment thing. And your little gun issue

because you go around the world in your movies and you shoot people up with all types of guns, but, you know, we want guns in, we want guns in movies, but we don't want guns in real life. I'm sorry, my friend. No. But this case, I'm with you 100%. And you deserve to go through whatever washes you clean.

This was, you shouldn't even have to go through what washes you clean for this. It's being made to look bad, and it's not. So, bless your heart. Just for this, though. Not the whole gun thing. I don't believe you have any idea how I just want to say that's it. We've covered the podcast today. We've backed up, Leon Nason, we're done.

It's over. Good night. Good night, America. You did that yesterday. You cut the podcast short yesterday. I cut the podcast short. It was... How long was yesterday?

34 minutes. I worked my tongue to the bone for 34 minutes. And we're getting complaints about you cutting your show. We are not getting complaints. I don't... First of all, My friend, I've done two hours in the morning on this network already. Is that chewing the fat or pat-un-en-leash?

What's the name of the show? Pat-un-un-leashed. Okay, then that does not go towards your chewing-the-fat with Jeff Fisher. People are not legitimately complaining. It's just because you said something that lit the little fire like they think they're being funny. But nobody's legitimately complaining. James is complaining. He says, Jeff and Chris, why did you rob me of Chew in the Fat podcast?

We didn't rob you. You got 34 minutes. And I replied. And I replied, don't worry. We have another one coming out today. So. Thank you. Each day they come out.

James, I love you. And I appreciate you subscribing to Chewing the Fat. And I hope you've rated 20 stars and reviewed it best podcast ever and are sharing it with your friends because we need it desperately. I appreciate it. But back off me. Okay. I'm not.

I mean, okay. I don't know. I give and I give and I give. And it's just, you know, sometimes you just want you have to rest for a little bit. So good night. Ah, just teasing. That's joking.

You're okay, James. Take care. It's all right. Relax. Breathe. Breathe. Just remember we've got big news. I mean, tonight, if you're listening live,

this is, you know, Tuesday, the 5th of February, 2019. And we've got the State of the Union address. from the president of the United States of America. Who, man, am I looking forward to that? Cannot wait for that. It's also a big celebration in China, New Year. Yeah, the Pig. Not only is just a pig, all right, it's the Earth pig.

What kind of other pigs do we have? All right, it's on the 60-year calendar. Don't start questioning China's New Year pigs. That's seriously, how many pigs do we have? We have just a pig. Okay. We have Earth pig. Oh, what's the difference?

One, they celebrate a lot. One's just a regular celebration. I mean, duh. Too many, I'll just tell you, if you want to know. I mean, I celebrate it with them sometimes. To many, it signifies that it will be a year of wealth and fortune. So, you know, it's the Chinese New Year each year that's tied to the arrival of the new moon between January 21st

And February 20th. We have a new moon coming? Well, yeah, that's why we're celebrating. Nice. So up until the old moon. Year of the Earth Pig on the 60-year calendar. So not only we have that, we got the Trump Soto. I mean, good times.

Good times. You're so racist. You are so racist. Really? What are you talking about it? Really, what are you talking about? Today, Trevor Martin, would have been 24 if he was alive.

If that white Hispanic, George Zimmerman was not killed him. Today's anniversary of Trayvon? Today's anniversary of Trayvon Martin. I didn't even mention it. You racist. I didn't even mention that Trayvon was, we lost him. No, today would have been his birthday.

We didn't lose him today. Today would have been his birthday. So what? How dare you? I celebrate losing them. No, I don't. That's not right either. That's not right.

You know, I have a son that's about Trayvon's age now. And if he had a hoodie on right now, it would look, it could have been me. Could have been my kid. You know, what's his face, the shooter? What's his face? What's his name? What's? Yeah, Zimmerman, George Zimmerman.

He's whacked out of his mind now. I mean, he's just lost going through time. He doesn't know what to do. This has this thing just screwed him completely up. why are you still laughing? I mean, so we're trying to celebrate the life of Trayvon Martin. Yeah,

yeah, and George Zimmerman, yeah, he's from Sanford, Florida. I know. Right next to where it happened. Right next to our best buy.

I know that the location, I went by, tried to meet Nancy Grace, but she's never came out. Really? I was highly upset, and Nancy Grace never came out. What?

Yes. What do you mean she never came out? She never came out to the location where he was, uh, um attacked slash murdered she just stayed in Atlanta she stayed in yes she's Nancy grace why she needed to be there well because she was doing okay she was doing a live shot

from the X on the sidewalk she was doing a reenactment and instead of going to the place they built the in the studios they built the neighborhood and I was like why can't you just not come down to Orlando she don't want to start anything though yes yes easier to do it in the studios than to start having a big crowd yeah the reenactment right there that's where they did it people screaming and stuff what she's trying to do it yeah ugly that's good call on their part she was there's no way you do not catch nancy grace i were reenacting here in olando the shooting of trevon martin we've got the lights on crowd is starting to jump right there that's what nancy hey that's it right there didn't happen that way

no no so i mean that was a good move to see did you watch that the whole case uh pretty much i was in love with the like i did not miss anything pretty much I see Grace was like my life for like, what, three months? It was, that was still, that was CNN, right? Headline news? Yes, headline news. Because originally she started on court TV, which was one of my favorite channels ever. I don't know, court TV, that was fantastic.

I loved court TV. I loved watching in the courtroom. I loved, there were cases. You got to see what made attorneys great and bad, great and good. Yeah. Because some attorneys just stick to the book. They go up to the podium. Your Honor, we would like to say that part two of Evidence 3B is an important part of our case.

And then you've got guys like Jeffrey, what's his face from Michigan? What's his name? Figer. Jeffrey Figer. He was one of their big time attorneys. And he would go into court and he would raise his voice and raise his arms up in the air. And I mean, that's how, those guys, that's why they were making the big money. Instead of, Your Honor, we would like to show you the evidence in a paragraph B to C.

Anyway, I miss court TV. It was fun watching the court cases. It's fascinating. I became true TV, right? Okay. I think it did. True TV. But then I don't even know if we don't show any court cases or anything anymore, right?

Those days are gone. I mean, okay, so true TV, great. I want to see some live courtrooms. and so anyway and I followed Trayvon you know from the beginning and Zimmerman was I mean he's lost his mind over that case I mean he was all over and he every so often

he rears up every so often whoop pops his head up every so often and there he is George Zimmerman and the Trayvon case bounces right back up into everybody's face speaking of Orlando though are you excited about the construction that has begun in

California and Japan and it will soon begin in Orlando of the Super Nintendo theme park. Wow. Big things happen, baby. Mario movie is currently in pre-production for Universal Studios, and they've started construction of the Super Nintendo theme parks. They're going to be modeled to the wizarding world of Harry Potter

and will feature rides based on some of the most popular Nintendo characters. That might be fun. Where is it going to be at? They're building right now in Japan and California. And they're going to start in Orlando. Well, do we know where in Orlando? Yeah, uh, one, two, three, four. No, no, no, because...

64th Avenue, right around the corner. So good enough. You could do a perfect address where you just send it there. No, because you said that the movie is in pre-production Universal Studios, right? Yeah, it's going to be like, uh, ooh, this is a Nintendo land. Because there's construction when I went to Universal a couple months ago. There's construction inside Universal Studios. So I wanted to see if that's what it is,

or is it going to be a separate theme park from all those theme parks? I believe it's going to be, it's supposed to be just as much of an anchor to universal parks and resorts future growth than Harry Potter, just like Harry Potter. It's just going to be, you know, still part of their deal, but over there. Okay. You know what I mean? I still think you can get there.

Probably be like, well, there'll be like, what they'll be able to do is go, hey, we're going to raise our prices. It's going to be $8,000 a day. So it makes sense. So the construction is next to. And they may have this story is dated a couple months ago. So they may have started in Orlando by now. Because come to think of it, you say Harry Potter, there's a section behind the woods that is all construction boarded up.

Right. And that sounds about right. If you want to grow that park, back there is where you throw there. Yeah. So, I mean, it's very possible that they've started in Orlando. I just was thinking, I just happened to think about the, oh, yeah, they're building that. There's something. There's something I remember about Orlando.

And, you know, as long as we. Are you going to spin the globe or we're saying in Orlando? I mean, it doesn't matter, I guess. We could, you know, we could spin the globe. Okay. I would like to. All right. more than 10 million.

I was supposed to tell you where I'm at. I'm at the internet worldwide. That's how we're spinning the globe here. Okay. It's a worldwide web or just a worldwide? More than 10 million Fortnite players logged down to watch a 10-minute concert this past weekend.

So. In the game. Amazing. It's the most popular video game in the world. 200 million registered players worldwide. This weekend, the Fortnite players logged into the game to watch the EDM star marshmallow perform a 10-minute concert. Amazing.

Wow. The players gathered at the virtual pleasant park in Fortnite. This is so cool. To watch the performance and could dance along with the music, with other players in the game. More than 10 million. I mean, if you think that's not going to start a new craze of just do a show in Fortnite. And now we go to Jeff Fisher,

tune the fat corner on Fortnite and you're going to watch him perform. Yeah, I don't want to do it in that nasty, pleasant park, though. No? I want to do it over there. Okay. In the corner over there. Yeah, I want to do it over there. I want to be right in Pleasant Park.

And for the people that... Right in Pleasant Park. Everybody hangs out there. Yeah. That's too busy. And then, yes, we're pointing because you're watching us in the podcast. podcast and over there, over there in the corner. Well, yeah, right over there.

I know. Okay. Don't act like they don't know that I'm pointing. You're listening to the podcast. When you say over there, you know the person points. And you know which way I'm pointing. Because I'm not picking up my left hand right now, so you know I'm using my right hand. But I'm just letting you know you know which way I'm pointing.

So I want to take a moment and apologize. Yesterday, I'm filling in for a Pat Gray on Pat Unleashed. And I'll apologize again tomorrow. So, but I do want to do it on chewing the first. fat as well. When we were on the air, we were talking about airlines, and I forget exactly what we were talking about, but I mentioned jet blue, and I put jet blue down on the lower rung of airlines.

And I really wasn't thinking. I was thinking, you know, spirit, and I was really thinking more along the lines of spirit and maybe even frontier. but I just jet Jet Blue was there and that's what was in my head and I got called out on that because people are in love

with Jet Blue and got have been treated great on JetBlue and then it jogged my memory that I actually I actually have flown JetBlue before and wasn't it wasn't bad and in fact I think we flew I think I flew up in the business section or whatever they have an enlarged business they have an enlarged

business section for the fat people, I mean for the business people. You know, so it's it, I want to apologize because I know I give the airlines a lot of crap and, and if they do do a good job, they deserve credit, right? I mean, most of the time they have their, I know

you're, you know, the in-air stewardesses, waitresses, waiters, whatever you call them. What do they call them again? Stewardesses, yeah. Flat attendants? Yeah, flight attendants.

But I'm shocked right now. What's wrong? Can't believe Big plane got to you. Big plane got to you. I can't believe that Jeff Fisher got got, got, got, but big plane. Can I believe it? I'm going to do the next two stories, you'll think that they actually, they really did got got to me. Because I was going to do the busiest airports and the best airports in the country.

Wow. So not only they got to you, they hand you a story to make him look good. I can't even participate in this podcast anymore. Oh, so you are going to participate except it's just breaking news. You're not going to participate in the airport. No, I'm not going to take them big plane. I refuse to be taking the bike. But with that sounder, we've got breaking news.

Making news, Jeffie. Are you ready? Oscars officials. So officials from the Oscars says... The Academy Awards. I did look at my direct messages. Hold on. Don't waste your time.

Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't waste your time. Don't know because they could just DM me. No, no, no. Yeah. Jeffie, we're ready for them. Don't waste your time because they say there will be no host.

What? They will not be a host. The 91st Academy Award winner host will be. 13 hosts. They'll have 13 hosts. Oh, so they're, they're just letting the people walk out on stage. They're just going to let the people walk up on stage. For example, people like Tina Fey, Whoopi Goldberg, Bree Larson,

so they're just going to walk on stage. Now, I wonder if they're going to have, I wonder if they're just going to, it's going to make it a visual thing without audio. So they walk out on stage and, you know, up above their heads or at their feet, Whoopi Goldberg. And yay. And the crowd goes crazy. Or if you'll have,

you'll have announcer Bill in the back, you know, just sitting in a booth in the back. Whoopi Goldberg. Until we find out that Bill is the racist big. Bill participated in a blackface radio bit back at 1962. And there's no way that he can ever apologize for that bit. So we can't use him. So let's, now we're going to just,

now we're just going to use the AI voice. And that's it. Oh, we have to do that. Let's see what that sounds like. All right. So instead of, you know, having AI, having the computer do whoopey Goldberg, Tina Faye. Let's hear what it would sound like if you have the computer. Now, this is not even good.

This is better than what you're going to get at the Oscars this year. You're going to get special coverage on the red carpet from this program, by the way. Just a reminder, by the way. We're going to give you, we have special access to everyone on the red carpet for the Oscars this year. We're going to be there. I'm going to be right there, right there on the carpet, close to it anyway. But this, what we've done now is we've had our robot, our computer, is going to read the opening monologue that Jimmy Kimmel did.

This is last year? Kimball hosted the Oscars last year? Why didn't he just do it again? What the hell's he got to do? Nothing. Do his little boogie night show. Anyway, he doesn't want to get any more trouble. So let's hear what the robot would sound like being,

having doing the opening monologue. Now this is what Kimmel said. Welcome. Welcome. And most importantly, congratulations. Congratulations everyone who's nominated tonight. Thank you. for letting me be a part of this.

I'm excited. I've never been to the Oscars before. This is my first time here. And the way you people go through hosts, this is probably my last time here. So I'm going to enjoy this while I'm here. Amen. This podcast is being watched live by millions of Americans

and around the world in the world of 225 countries that now hate us. I mean, that's awesome. that's awesome now it eases the pain of me not doing it a little but i didn't say they i did i offered to do it uh i offered uh i didn't say anything about uh about a reimbursement for my time my energy no my jokes anything i was just i was ready to do it for them thing. As you know, I don't have to tell anybody. The country is divided right now. I've been getting a lot of advice.

All right. All right. Stop. We got the most prophetic part at the beginning. And we realize how bad it's going to be. But I really, I'm surprised that they're not going to have, they're not going to have Bill in the booth. You know, I really, I really, because if somebody's got, I mean, instead of just having it typed on the screen, right? You got to have Bill in the booth. right George Clooney and you got to have them you know if they run trailers or whatever you know

Green Book and you've got somebody announcing for them so that's what I was going to do Academy Hello now I'm back to be a mad at him again now I'm back to be a mad at him again

huh whatever I do like the computer translation though because I was just looking at Google says according to Google Google I'm sorry according to Google translate they say the most translated words are

can you guess those translated words on Google translate are hello ooh good guess but wrong goodbye oh good guess but wrong you are horrible at this two and a fat

correct And I'm surprised as you. But I know, that's a big surprise. I guess people are translating in other languages. Good for you. Welcome to chewing the fat, whatever language you speak. My Google, I mean, I'm just thinking about me and what I asked to have translate, like how much? That's not on the list, not the top three.

Do you have a friend? No, I stop there. That's not what I. Do you have your own place? Google Trans, that's not on the list either. The top ways are, how are you? Thank you. I love you.

Hello is a good one though. I'm surprised about that. Most people could know hello, though. You need to translate a hello, right? You smile, you wave. That's your hello. Right. But I really am surprised that how much isn't up there in the top three?

No, really, I'm surprised how much isn't on the top three. Same. Speaking to how much, I was, as we sit here, there of course, today, as I mentioned, is the State of the Union. And I keep looking up at the television screens that I have in front of me. And they keep showing interviews with Sarah Huckabee Han. Sarah Huckabee Sanders. And what's, and Kelly on, I cannot speak. Kelly, I can't wait.

I need a drink. Hold on. Oh, we're going to a water cooler. No, this is before the water cooler. Oh, okay. This is actually a night, Dr. Pepper. Yeah, I'm surprised. What's going on?

Did the sponsorship didn't come? It felt like a little change. Are you trying Dr. Pepper to sponsor you? If they want to, I'm good for it. Because it's a Dr. Pepper that's from Texas and he was a gynecologist? Is that what the story is? Yes, that's the story. That's 100% the story.

The Texas gynecologist. and hey, Dr. Pepper. That's who he was. I just felt like a change. I went down to the cooler here at the Mercury Studios and I was going to get a water, but they're all out. And so I said, oh, Diet Dr. Pepper,

and I love Diet Dr. Pepper. And I didn't have an open Coke Zero, so I thought I'd give it a shot. But now that I can't speak, I see Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway doing their live shots today, you know, speaking up the president, getting ready for the state of the union.

But both of them, both of them went to the spa this weekend or yesterday because they got their hair cut they got their hair colored they got them snipped up they got the split ends are gone they got the makeup they got the face looking good they look great i mean don must have said um you're not doing the state of the union looking like that you girls need to go take care of yourselves okay so uh and they did they did they look great by the way so if you get an opportunity to see them at the State of the Union. I know that and just tell them that we noticed here on Fat, that they went out of their way to take that extra step of looking nice for the President of the State of the Union address. And it's appreciated by those of us out here in small America.

All right. Back to Big Plain. The busiest airports in the United States, Chicago, number one, took it back from Atlanta. It's usually, it's a dog fight between Atlanta and Chicago and O'Hare in Chicago won this past year. And for the first time in four years,

so it's been pretty unrelinquishing for Atlanta for the last three or four years, but O'Hare took them over. Now, number three, L.A. International. Number two, DFW. And number four, DFW, number five, Denver. So fascinating that DFW is number four, because I'm telling you,

I drive by that airport on the western side every day. And they have planes rode up in and out of there by the minute. It is amazing. When you drive down the interstate in the afternoon, you go down the interstate this right now, You go down the interstate in Dallas, well, between Irving and Fort Worth is really where it's at, DFW. The airport itself is bigger than the island of Manhattan. It is a monster.

A monster airport. You come down the interstate and you look to your right. And this is most of the time when the wind is right and where they're landing on this side, which is most of the time. You look up to the sky. Now they've got two regular landing strips. All right? two regular landing strips that are for passenger planes. Now, over farther down the road is another landing strip that brings in like FedEx and UPS and delivery planes,

cargo planes. They're over there. And you see them coming in too. But if you look at the passenger planes and you see one over the interstate, all right, one's landing, it comes over the interstate. Look back to your right. There's another one. Not far away.

I don't know what the exact breakup is. I think it's probably, those of you, if you're a pilot, you know exactly how far they are apart. But they are, they've got them rode up. Two strips and they are at least five deep, man. It is amazing. So, I mean, the ones ahead of them, O'Hare and Atlanta and L.A. International, they're all pretty close to each other as far as traffic for their hubs. They're all pretty close. but it is

it's amazing to see it happen. It really is. Now, the best airports in themselves. So not the busiest, but the best. I was surprised that my best airport is not on the list, and that's TIA, Tampa International. Tampa International is, I believe, one of the best airports, nicest airports in the country.

No question. But number one was a lot of. Las Vegas. Number two was Orlando, which I haven't been to the Orlando airport in a while, so maybe they've upped it a little bit. And I saw some pictures from Orlando Airport this weekend because a bad thing happened there. And it looked pretty nice. So they have raised the bar a little bit.

I'll give them that. But Vegas and Orlando are the two best in the country. according to passenger satisfaction study from J.D. Power. Now, two terminals tied in the survey. Newark, Newark International came in dead last and they deserve it. I mean, Newark is agonizing airport to go to, and the terminals are so far apart, and they've got the train ride, but sometimes the train doesn't work. and I could go into a whole story about that

one flight in Newark where I walked because the train was broken I walked from one terminal to another and it was the summertime and it was hot and I'm 8,000 pounds and sweating amazing but the so Newark deserves to be in last

but you had Vegas, Orlando, Detroit Metro come on, I've been at Detroit Metro I hope they've done a lot better work than what you're what they were in the past. Denver, DFW, Atlanta,

so, wow. So Denver, DFW gets the busiest and the nicest. DFW, actually after the construction, is not too bad to get around now

and it's fairly okay. It's fairly okay. That's where I rated. That's my JD Power and Associates rating of DFW Airport. Fairly okay. Come to think of it, though. I remember

why I don't like the FW airport. You can't even drive into the airport without being charged. They charge you to get into the air. You cannot drive into the airport and pick anyone up or drop anyone off without being charged. That really ticks me off. I'm sorry.

I should be able to go to that airport. You people are making enough money. Like Tampa, you have, I think, used to be an hour and now I think it's 30 minutes but you can drive that you have access to drop people off

you shouldn't charge me for dropping people off that are already paying to use your stupid services but they do and of course I pay it because I feel bad just dropping somebody off at the gates

making them walk another five miles to the terminal but I'm willing to start doing that so at least I know in Tampa and I know in a Lovefield, Dallas Lovefield, same way. If you park, they're going to charge you. But if you're just dropping off or picking up, you don't get charged.

DFW? Eh, it doesn't matter. You're going to drive on property? We're charging you. That's a problem. Somebody should do something about that. Something ought to be done. All right, let's go, let's actually go to the break room and get a drink, and then we'll talk a little bit of crime.

You know, die Dr. Pepper is pretty freaking good, but it's not as good as ice cold Coca-Cola Zero. I'm just letting you know. Let's talk a little crime. This story, I just had, I put this story up just to enjoy talking about the crime, but then I actually read the story,

and this is another time where I'm like, well, come on. All right, so in St. Louis County, Police arrested a man last weekend. Now, this is the headline, okay? Breaking a glass freezer door and stealing a key lime pie at a Walmart. Now, first of all, key lime pie sucks.

It's the Florida State pie. I've lived in Florida forever. It sucks. If someone puts a key lime pie in front of you, you eat it, and you always say, oh, yeah, it's not bad. But it's a key lime pie. Nobody wants a key lime pie.

Sorry, they just don't. They only make it because it's the Florida State thing. But this guy's in Missouri, so I don't even know why he wants a key lime pie. Store employees told the police that 28-year-old Zachary Maurer walks toward the frozen food section Saturday night and opens a freezer door. So he didn't kick the freezers. Those doors are usually pretty heavy, right? I mean, those are tough doors, man. Walks toward the freezer, opens the door, grabs a key lime pie, then sees.

slams the door shut and the glass shattered. Okay. Those, that had to have been an amazing slam from a homeless guy. Those things don't just break like that. I'm sorry. Something else had to be wrong. But,

okay. So the police, investigating the key lime pie marauder said that they, uh, found a empty key lime box, key lime pie box in the next aisle. And then they patrolled the area,

I guess around the store or wherever the hell he was hiding. And they found him with what appeared to be a white food substance on his mustache, a hoodie, pants, and said he also smelled like key lime pie. All right. So you bust a guy from him. stealing the key line pie right and you give him a trespass warrant so he can't come back into that

walmart again but they're also prosecuting him for the window break destruction of property come on now there's no way a homeless guy slams one of those doors and it breaks like that something else had to be wrong i think he needs to get an attorney i think walmart is a little too much on that a little too heavy-handed. I mean, I'm sure they're upset over losing the key lime pie. I get it. Nobody wants things stolen out of their freeze. And I'm sure those freezer doors don't come, you know, they're not, they aren't cheap.

And now you've got to cardboard it up and you've got to wait for a new one to come. And you've got to get the store maintenance out there and fix it and shut the freezer down. It's a pain. I got it. It's a lot of money, right? And I don't know if you lose any product when the doors crash like that. You got glass everywhere. You got to empty it out.

You got to clean everything. Sweep it, it's a pain. And believe me, cleaning those things out, those meat coolers and those dairy coolers and those freezers, are not fun. My days of the grocery business, I've done that before.

They're not fun at all. But I think Walmart's getting a little heavy-handed over the destruction of property. But, you know, it happened under his watch. So, okay. And this is a state that we're in now, a state of the world that we're in that's a little weird. we're still on crime.

A Kansas judge gave a 67-year-old man convicted of soliciting a minor. The judge gave him a reduced sentence. The judge said that he was supposed to get up to 10 years, and the judge gave him five years. The judge said that the two female victims, the 13-year-old and the 14-year-old, and the 14-year-old were the aggressor.

Wow. You are never getting that, ever, ever. Now, apparently the old man used Facebook to contact the girls, offering money for nude photos and sexual favors. Never a good idea. All right, never a good idea. But the judge in the sentencing said that the girls were at fault. for going to the guy's house.

And they didn't show up for the sentencing hearing to give an impact statement. And he's found that they were more an aggressor than a participant in the criminal conduct. They were selling things monetarily that is against the law for even an adult to sell. And he said, and this is fascinating. So they've got to be known, or at least this kind of crime has been going on in this area because the judge also said he was pretty familiar with the girls and wouldn't rule out the defense attorney's claim that they were trying to set the man up and rob him. So yes, the guy gave, you know, went after a minor and solicit him and, you know,

was a little whacked out of his mind. a little sicko going after the young girls. But they were setting them up. They took his money, told him they were going to have sex with them, and then they show up at his place, and they were going to take his money. But instead, the Metropolitan Organization for Counter-sex assault is now pissed. I'm sorry, upset. Children are never at fault for abuse and cannot consent developmentally or legally with an adult.

So, you know, they're going to fight this. He got five years and ten months. And I guess the minimum sentence for that was 13 years. I said 10, but it was 13 years. So they want him to have all that whole 13 years. Man, that is where, if anything says where we're at in America these days, that's it. Because it doesn't matter what happens, we are divided. And if, and most of the time, in cases like that,

the court's side against the old man. You know, it doesn't matter. They're 13-14-year-old girls. So they must have had history of doing this or a family member that did this or something because it's too strange that the judge doesn't go completely with the young kids. They didn't do any jail time or anything.

He just didn't give the full amount to the old man. All right, I'll leave you with an Uber fact of the day. Uber fact of the day. You can take home and you can share with your family at dinner or breakfast or whenever you feel like sharing something with your family. Spider store parts of their experiences and cognitive abilities in their webs. This according to evolutionary biologists at the University of St. Andrews. so they theorize that destroying webs can alter the spider's memory.

So if you care about spiders at all, don't harm the webs. And if you don't care about spiders, pull every web down and hope they forget why they live on this planet and die.