Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 230 | Happy Birthday Johnny Carson, Whoopi's New Hair, & Felicity Spa Visit

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

Jeffy's theory on Felicity getting out date. Happy birthday to the legendary Johnny Carson and that makes today National TV Talk Show Day. Whoopi has a new hair piece that has Jeffy questioning her fashion. How big was that alien probe? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now a Blaze Media podcast. Mark my words that they are going to let Felicity Hoffman out of the all-women federal correctional institution in Dublin, California. The spa? Well, it's minimum, minimum security. She's at the spa right now. Minimum security. At the spa. Prison.

Friday night. Friday. I feel it happening. So two days from now. She's supposed to be let out on Sunday. We're supposed to be safe until Sunday. We're supposed to know that she's locked up behind bars. Well, okay, so behind the white line with the dog collar.

With the masseuse. She's got, they showed, you saw her the pictures with the green outfit on and she's got the wristband on. So when she goes past the white line, she gets just a little, oh, oh, I can't go there. Hey, go back, ma'am. I can't go there. You start when hubby showed up this weekend, Macy, William H. Macy, the television star. Shamedous baby, coming up.

Television movie star showed up. She just walks out. Hey, you guys are here. Hi. Come on, let's go. And I love the idea that they made such a big deal out of in her green prison outfit. She looked like Walter White from Breaking Bad. She did.

She did. But the good thing is, is that William H. Macy, How did he get there? How did he get there? He showed up after he stopped at Starbucks in his sparkling silver infinity sedan. Elitist bastard. Right? He arrived in sneakers, jeans, a button down white shirts, and a casual dark suit.

How dare he? How dare he come so? He's got the casual. This is how the good people live, man. Elitist. Thank you. Elitist right there. That's how the good people.

He's going to a furt jacket. And he's going to a person like this? Right. I mean, spa, sorry. He went to the spa like this? Fashion police call them. What else are you going to wear when you come to visit Prisoner 77806-112?

Oh, she even has a number. She's got the number on the suit, man. She's ready to get to tattoo that right here and then come up with a tear on their eye. well with the tats. She should. I'm sorry. She should come out of tat, even if she's a temporary. She should have the prison number on her

forearm. On the inside forearm, 7-7-8061-1-1-2. What is that? My prison number. I love that. A little tear. I mean, she can't do the face, though. You still got to act. You still got to work. No, it's a temporary one. No one knows. She just get a pen. It would be hilarious. If I'm her husband, honey, I'm going to bring a Sharpie.

Bill, we're going to put the tear job. All right, so she's in. And worst case. Criminal. For, thank you. For best case scenario for us, in our safety, she's in until Sunday. Good. But remember, they gave her the day of travel as a day.

I'm sorry, Jeffrey. So they made it 13 instead of 14 because the day of travel counted. When you went to prison, did they count you travel? No, they did not. And they added at the end, didn't they? That just is part of the deal. It's 14, you know, 14 years. Day one starts when the cells closed.

That even when they're like processing you? I've been on a bus for eight days. Nope. But even the county? No. That doesn't come with you in county? Nope. No.

Sometimes the judge lets it go, but not in real life. Oh, yeah. It's only a law. So that's why our girl, uh, Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, paper my tuition. Lori! Yeah, that's why she's sweating now. Because they've added new charges to her.

Oh, what the heck. It's unbelievable. Did it add, uh, looting? And littering? Yes, that's next. Okay. Luterine and Littering. They said in one article that I read that they warned the people that have not made a deal yet.

Look, you make a deal or... Look at Felicity. We'll send you to the spa. You make a deal or we're going to add more charges. Now, it sounds to me that's almost like quid pro quo. But hey, what do I know? And if I hear quid pro quo... Is that a new quid pro quo?

Is that a new quid pro quo? We have got to put together a montage, and it'd be too much. I mean, it'd be not two hours now of just a montage of every news show. Quit broke, quit brokele, quit brokele. It'd be... It's just a little politics. Go back to our girl criminals, Felicity and Lori. We're on Lori now.

I know, but I don't go back to... We're on Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, pay for my tuition, Lori! I love the reporter. So they're sweating, right? Her and her designer husband, what's his name? Mosimo Ginoi. Yeah, that's her husband.

The designer, he's a fashion designer. Most emojis. Married to Lori Luffman. And they're starting to sweat. Wait, but Jesse's not married to her? This is real life. Oh, that's real life. Oh, sorry, sorry.

Now they're getting, they say they're getting, you know, this David versus Goliath, syndrome, how long they're going to take up going against the federal government. Look, now they've been indicted on charges of trying to bribe officials at an organization that receives at least $10,000 in federal funding. I mean, that's every university in America. That's every university in America. So next week, if they don't make the deal, it will be, and you littered on the way in.

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. So, I mean, and the federal prosecutor in a news report said that, well, we'd like to, you know, if it comes out that we, that's our guilty, we would like to be sure that they get, received more time than Felicity. So 16 days? 14 days isn't enough for you? Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, Lori, pay for my tuition. Lori! It's a great. Day. Today is a day

that we celebrate TV talk show host day. Here we celebrate TV talk show host day because it's Johnny Carson's birthday. And of course Johnny is one of the most iconic

television figures that any of us can remember. Now we're all looking to make sure that it's actually Johnny Carson's birthday. Seriously, I got to if that's actually true. Hold on.

I read the stupid story. I'll make sure that's true. I'm sorry that I felt I fail you on that one because this is my story. So I want to apologize to you. Yes, it is. Congratulations. It's a time we celebrate each year.

And if you're listening live, it's October 23rd. That's possible. 2019. And that's why every year on the 23rd of October, which is Johnny Carson's birthday, we celebrate national TV.

Talk Show Host Day. All right. So, why do we celebrate it? Because we're Americans and we want to celebrate something. You're welcome. And we want to celebrate the richest TV hosts in the world. Nice. What I find interesting about this list, we have the top

20 richest TV hosts in the world. Okay. Now, it is kind of like richest TV hosts in the world, but they're all from American TV. So. That's America. America invented the TV.

But there are talk show hosts. No, that is not true. I can't believe that the foreigner has to correct you on this one. When you think of TV hosts, you think America. No, I think of the fat guy down in South America on Univision. What's his name? Are you sure? Yeah, I love him.

He's fantastic, man. He's like four feet tall. He's 800 pounds. And he's got all these beautiful women around him. He's done this show for like 80 years. He's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah.

My grandma's favorite TV host. I love that guy. He's got to be on this. It's embarrassing that he's not on the list. Now, he may be, you know, just doing the show for the babes instead of the money. So that's not on the list. Don Francisco. Don Francisco.

Sanado Gigante. Yes. I love it. So maybe he just does it for the chicks instead of the cash. His contract says, his check's not cash. So he doesn't make the richest. TV hosts in the world.

Okay, so, top 20, top 20 richest television hosts on today, the national, what is today again? The national TV national host. No, it's not, it's not TV host National America. It's the, it's national TV talk show host day. Before the number 20, how much money does number 20 have? Oh.

8.5 million. Our friend Don Francisco has 200 million. That's what I'm saying. Thank you. I knew it. This list is a sham. It's a sham. Put out by American television, big TV in America.

But he's a problem. This guy is an American network. But that just started. It's even more of a sham. Don Francisco is a Chilean-born television host. The guy is a giant, and I mean, more ways than one. But he is a giant, man. In the Latin community, he's the guy to go.

He's the opera of the Latin community. Right. Don't ask me to explain it. He just is. No, he just is. And you're right, and they make fun of them on every cartoon, like family guy, Simpsons. They've made fun of him. And he laughs all the way to the chicks, man.

All the way to the chicks. You see with a big breasted bikini chicks, they all go to him. They sure do. Somehow. And all the housewives and grandmas and mothers. Oh, yes. Don Francisco is their Oprah Winfrey's. It's amazing.

And how much is he worth? $200 million. According to our factual reporting on Wikipedia. According to our Celebritynetworth.com. Oh, which is 100% correct. The richest celebrity section. Don Francisco net worth. and salary, he has a net worth of $200 million.

I knew this list was a sham. There's no way he could not be on this list. It's just not possible. Because number 20, we have Craig Ferguson, who... Who's that? He's Craig Ferguson. He does the late, late, late, late, late show. Oh, the late, lay, lay, la, la,

show. Yeah. I don't even think he does it anymore, doesn't it? I think he's got the boot because they gave it to... This is the YouTuber took her place, to Greg's place, right? Yeah, cheese something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They say that he's worth $8.5.5 million. I can see that. Yeah, I mean, $8.5 million. Yeah. I mean. Jeffrey, you go to the bathroom and you... $8.5 million. And you throw $8.5 million every time you go to the bathroom.

Somebody gives me an extra $8.5 million. It just bumps up my tax bracket. Yeah. It's sad. And we'll know that Jeffrey pays his taxes. Don't start with me. Don't do it. Don't start with me.

Number 19 on this list. Anderson Cooper. Oh, Mr. Whitehead. Anderson Cooper. I know. I know. What you call him? Whitehead.

I don't you go. So there were 11 million. That's an iconic. Anderson's only worth 11 million, though. That's because he broke away from the family. But mom just passed away. I think this has got to be pre-mom because mom left him. I thought mom was not going to leave him any things.

That was the rumor. I think he got the building. Oh, okay. Okay. I think I think that was, I'm not going to leave you any cash, but here's the building. I think that was the. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Anderson doesn't need 11 million. It's just, oh, that's my building. Where you're living now? It's a Cooper building. Yeah, AC. Oh, I like that. AC 360.

Number 18. Oh, here we go. Don Francisco. Number 18, 12 million dollars worth. I feel like he should be worth more. James Gordon. Well, yes, because he does a karaoke. He does everything, man.

He invented the car karaoke. He does all kinds of voice work for these movies. Especially the... This has got to be. Maybe this is what they're own. paying them on the, now James does the late, late, late, late show.

Craig did the late, late, late, late, late. Yeah, when the one's like. Boy, some geniuses over there on television right, coming up with names like that. Those executives are like, all right,

we'll give you, put a third lay down, that's his show. No, no, the third is for Jimmy. Oh yeah, okay. Craig, you get late, late, late, late, all you got all four of them.

We're bringing the new chick from YouTube. You have four else. That's a Fisher's shirt size. That's what you're getting out. No, that's the X's. Oh, okay, never mind. but I feel like he should be worth more than $12 million.

Yes. He invented car cariote. Yeah. With genius. With Apple, and then Apple took it. I mean, I hope they give him money for that.

Absolutely. If he doesn't, hey. That's a crime. That's a crime if they're not paying him for that. I know. He's in his IMDP Vage. I'm not going to look it up,

I promise. But he's got all kinds of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he should be worth more. At least he's on the list. Don't Francis is that on the list. Right? At least he's on the list.

I'm pissed for James now. I want him to survive a luster or something. I want Apple. He should be worth more than... He should be worth more than this. He's not going to catch you in. I know that you're fighting for him. I'm going to send this to him,

but I don't think he's going to cut you in. So don't try. If you're doing it for the love for him... How dare you think that I want James to give me a call? Oh, yes, I do. I want nothing from James. Okay. Cash-wise.

And, uh... I just want a spot on your show. Yes, I just want to call you. A couple of gigs. Yeah, Clark karaoke would do twice. You know what? No, you know what, James, just between you and me. Nobody else, all right?

Turn the mic off. I mean, I won't turn the mic off, but I mean, because I want you to hear me, but turn the recording off. Okay, there you go. James, like, you know, you get a lot of job opportunities that you just, you don't have time for. You know, any kind of, look, we're fellow fat guys.

All right, we're fellow fat guys. Seriously. So, I know you, you, you know, You hide it better than me. But we're fellow fat guys. Just throw me, just throw me the odd job or two. A job or two. We're good.

Number 17 on the top 20 list. We're never going to get through this freaking list. Oh, we got to hurry up. Go to the top 10. Welcome to Saturday. Number five. Just say the names into the top five. Over five.

Okay, but okay, this is what we're all right. We'll go to this. So we got Stephen Colbert. James Cord. Number 18 and 12 minutes. Jimmy Kimmel. Chelsea Handler is not a TV talk show off. No, she's not. No.

Stephen Colbert. You know, where is barely a TV talk show? He's on there. Wendy Williams. Which I thought she was done. Wendy? Yes. That syndicated show is pretty huge.

Yes, but she's been on the news, you know, the divorce. I think she wanted to. Her canceling the TV, the, she was on tour. She canceled last minute. everybody got to get refunds so i thought she was done that syndicator was like uh wendy honey just sit there you're already worth 60 million and i'll do is just we'll bring people in for you all right just sit there and talk just walk out and wave we'll have the crowd there you say hello don't show us from an autopilot right now thanks for coming and then we'll tell you who's on and you

introduce them they come out and you talk to them okay okay let's go that's right we re-signed for another 20 million a year. That pisses me off. All right. Continue to reading. Stop. Stop. Stop. Just continue reading. All right. Next in line, John Stewart, 80 million. He quit too.

He's not even on anymore. He's not even on anymore. He's at the capital fighting. Number 12. What's that where we're at? Yeah, John Stewart's number 13. Number 12. Bill O'Reilly. Wait. What? Is he even on anymore? Yeah, Glenn Beck every Friday.

Yeah, but he does the stupid Bill O'Reilly. Dot-com thing that he does. $25 million. He made some cash at Fox. He did. He surely did. He made some cash in Fox. Good for him.

Seriously, good for him. Bastard. Now, plus he's selling his books and stuff now. Yeah. Does he think he is? What is it? Killing Donald Trump? Yeah, that's the next one.

Okay. That was just released, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's a bad joke. No, my. It's not the title of the book. It's just a joke. I didn't mean anything.

Buy it. Chris Cruz said it first. I don't want to throw anybody under the bus. Especially the president, but I'm just saying Chris, Cruz was the one who did the joke okay once I realized what what he said I put a stop to it

Conan O'Brien number 11 at 85 million oh no he's on TBS now he's on TBS sorry yeah he was actually I watched him not long ago when he was at San Diego I happened to see a show when they were broadcasting live from Comic Con in San Diego and it was actually

okay it wasn't bad at all it was entertaining plus he had Tom Cruise on who's he think he is I mean Tom Cruise can bail any show out right you got tom cruise on your show is on there okay so now we're at the top 10 and we are still okay number 10 number one number one number 10 number 10 number 10 is 90 million our friend don francis is worth 200 million yeah thank you thank you I mean come on actually I'm sorry not to believe this

this list is a sham this this list came on the 22nd or 24th so this is a breaking leading us to believe that it's factual and true. Up to date. No. Tyra Banks. Tira Banks, number 10. She had the markets got talent for a year. And plus,

didn't she have, she got some syndicated, bogey show too, right? Yeah. That I never missed. And she came back as a model. Right. Yeah.

They did the before and after. Number nine. Now we're starting to get into, you know, the Don territory. 120 million. Steve Harvey. Oh,

well, Steve Harvey. He's the. It should be worth more, though. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's a pretty good, it's a pretty good chunk of change. Don't you have a syndicated radio and TV show? Yeah, he's, I mean, that guy's a star. Yeah.

That guy's a star. That guy is the African American Glenn Beck. Yeah. Well, don't they share studios? The other reason Glenn, it doesn't have $120 million anymore is because Glenn said, I want to build a network, idiot. The network that you're on? Steve Harvey said, I'll just keep the money and let the other people have the networks.

Good idea. Yeah, Steve, I mean, he's that. Yeah, and they share studios, right? Like, Glenn Studios in L.A. is right next to his. I think so, yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's the guy's a star, man. Yeah, and he is fantastic. I met him once.

I met him once. And he, I mean, he travels with the Steve Harvey entourage. He's just like Glenn back. I mean, like. Well, once you get to the millions, don't you want an entourage follow you? You have to. You have to. Yeah.

I mean, let's just be clear. Glenn doesn't travel light and neither does Steve Harvey. Again, if you're on the millings. million worth, are you going to travel light? It's funny, I don't see Glenn on this list either. Now we're getting into the top eight. This is where I should be, right? Chewing the fat's out here.

And what is it the top eight number? I'm thinking that I'm getting knocked out a little bit because now we put Don on the list. Don's a 200. This is where Don should be. Number eight. Because this list says Sean Hannity is at number eight at 220 million. 220 million for Sean. I make quick.

Sean Hannity is $2.20,000. Radio and TV. Bless his heart. No comment. Bless his heart. I mean, he's, the guy's radio and TV, man. Yep. For years, he'd been at Fox since the beginning.

He's got his nationally syndicated radio show. And he does a great job on all that. Filling in for Rush, $220 million. He's right at the door with the Don. With the Don. This is where Sean and the Don are in the same neck of the woods. And if it was up to be, the down would be ahead of show. Now coming in at number seven,

Ryan Seacrest. Ryan, there's no doubt about that. Here's another guy, man. He has the Kardashians TV show. He has a stupid New Year's. He has American Idol. Yeah, that guy has it all. Number six.

Coming in at number six. Another reason this list is a sham. Jay Leno. Jay Leno. He quit TV like 10 years ago. But they say Jay is worth $400 million. I think that's because of his vehicles. I mean, they made a big deal about Jay.

He never spends any of his money from his television deal. He just puts that in the bank. Good. He wears the same clothes every day and eats the same food every day. Good. Okay. And? We should all learn from him.

There's no doubt. Plus, now he's milking his show for the TV show too with Jay's cars or Jay's garage or Lettos, liquors, or whatever the hell the show is. And then he has a guest spot on Last Man Standing. There you go. He does that a couple of times. He's the mechanic. There you go.

So, come on. But he's not a TV talk show before. No, he got to start. Nope, he was a comedian. But he was a TV talk show for three years. He took over for Johnny Carson. Oh, this is why we're celebrating this, by the way. We're celebrating TV talk show host day because we celebrated each year on Johnny Carson's

birthday, which is, of course, the 23rd of October. Number five, David Letterman. He quit, too. Right? He's a Netflix talk shows. Obama, yeah. Obama was one of his guests. Yeah, so with Obama. David's worth $400 million, too.

That's a good chunk of change. Plus, he's, I mean, Dave's got, you know, I don't know what he's producing from worldwide pants, but they're probably producing the, that's his production company. I mean, that's probably doing the Netflix shows too. World Wide Pants owns a bunch of other shows too. That's one thing in common to all these people that are like on the top five, they were smart and started producing or having a production company. Glenbeck have a production company, not a studio.

Mercury Radio Arts. Just saying it's out there, bro. He's already done. He's way ahead of you. Number four. Dr. Phil. That he's not a real doctor. He found out last year.

Wait a minute. He's on a doctor. Okay, no, wait a minute. Jay Leno has got 400 million. David Letterman has got 400 million. And Dr. Phil's got 400 million. Fight! Who's number one?

Fight. Dr. Phil. That's what they say here, too, 6, 5, 4, yeah. I mean, some people, he's got a podcast out there, too. Two of them. That's what? Number three, this is where, and when we get to the top three, this is where I'll be. Oh, top three.

And what is? I see, the thing is that I don't have this big chunk of change money like this. It's just the top, you know. Should be part of the, you know, if Dr. Phil's on there with a podcast, hello, doing the fat should be on there. Yeah. And I believe the top three, all three have podcasts.

No, they do not. Give me the names. Once you tell the names, I'll see if they have a podcast or not. I will say that the top three are all. Females. I believe they, I believe they identify as female. Okay. All right.

Number three, Judge Judy. She doesn't have a podcast. Thank you. She doesn't have a podcast. I knew you were lying. The list is a sham. Cruz is lying to you. The whole thing's gone down.

But Judge Judy, what's her real name? Judy Shindlin. They're not like it. That's why they call her Judge Judy. And number two. Ellen DeGeneres. I would think that she would be number one. If you would say, hey, who's number one TV talk show host?

She has a game show. Oh, yeah. She does her silly game thing, too. She has like two games shows. And her production company's big, too. You know what I heard how her production company works, by the way. and that will get her a lot more money. This will add up fast.

She will be the next number one on the list. Oprah Winfrey. Oprah's still hanging around. What's the word? There's a little discrepancy. Oh, there is. It's a little bit. Like Ellen is worth $450 million.

Okay. Darn near half a billion. She's almost there. Fishing on that half a billion, right? And that's thanks to the Netflix. Oh, don't give me started on that. I know, I know. I know.

I'm sorry. Oprah Winfrey. number one has pushed a little out front. A little bit. A little bit. How many millions more? 3.2 billion. I'm sorry?

3.2 billion. So she just added like more than like half. She's ahead of the whole freaking list. Three point. Can we add them all up and can we get to Oprah? This list right here is I bet you, I bet you she's more than the list. Wow.

So you got eight and a half million, right? What was, you got eight and a half million, 85 million? 85 million. Are you writing these down? No, am I supposed to? All right, 170.

I can't do it. This is going to be tough math here, hold on. 170 million. 178 million. We'll just say 180 million. 225 million. 236 million. 248.

270, 3, 10. Oh, here we go, $700. Now you're over a billion. One of a million. A billion and a half. There are... No, you're still not. You're still not at $3 billion.

No, you're pretty close, though. You're pretty close. And I'm not going to do it exactly because I don't have the time and I'm not going to... And you're telling me to wrap up and I don't know what I'm wrapping up for. It's my podcast.

I can go as long as I want with whatever I do. I'm wrapping up. I want to play some funky music. Oh, okay. Well, go ahead. Play some funky music then, White Boy. One more thing about TV talk show hosts. I happen to be looking at sarah carter.com, the website.

And I love Sarah Carter. And she's got a clip on her website that is titled Joy Behar. Hillary's been right about almost everything. And I've got a clip from the view. Don't play the music. Don't look at me like you're getting ready to play the political music. I'm not going to continue to talk about how Joy Behar thinks Hillary's been right about almost everything because the whole clip is agonizing.

On top of it, just being the view, they, of course, just say things like they're factual. It doesn't matter of fact when, no, Joy, that's a lie. But I digress. But my whole book, so I watch the clip because I'm ready to be agonized. That's me. I do that for you. I do that for you, the audience, so you don't have to. I don't know if you've seen The View lately.

That's another show that is as amazing to me. You can't take me off watching the view. I watch it every day. I apologize. What are you talking about? I should say, I haven't got caught up. The season. Yeah, there you go.

And so as well as this clip, I was shocked to see Whoopie Goldberg. Oh, yeah. Did you see what you went? No. Oh, you haven't seen it. I'm not making a br on Whippie. because that's been a number of years. Yeah, she's not looking like sister act anymore.

No, but she's fine. I always liked Whoopi. I always kind of liked Whoopi until she started doing the view. But I always kind of liked Whoopi. But she is now taken to, she's got the curls. She's always had those. On her hair. She's over had the Comrose.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she would have those. And they're all completely white. I'm sorry? They're all completely white. It looks like, oh, what do you mean like white? Like a, let's say, let's say for his Since you came into work, I just used, no, we used you.

Use me. Yeah, use me. Let's say you came into work today and you had stopped off at a home improvement store, let's say. Home Depot. Okay. Home Depot is mine. I like Home Depot, yeah. And you said, hey, in your home cleaning supply aisle, you've got a big white mop there.

Okay, okay. I'm going to buy that and I'm going to put it on my head and wear that. And that's going to be what I wear today. a hair piece. That's what Wopi Goldberg looks like. So Wop we went to the Home Depot, the mop file. Either she's got a deal with the new mop cornrow hair wearing people that I'm missing out on the million dollar idea. Okay. Or yeah, she stopped off and said, my hair looks terrible today. Just put a mop on it. Throw anything on it. How about maybe she joined the wig party? That's why. Because she be. Before I went to the mop joke, I actually, that's the first thing

that popped to my head. Are we back to the wig party? Or maybe it's a cool. coming to John DeVue because we don't know if the queen is in the room officially everybody has to put their white wigs on and you know order Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. So is the queen on the docket? I don't know. That's possible.

It's her friend Megan Merkel come in and she's trying to get her royal comrose. Oh, don't even get me started on Megan and Harry again. I got a whole thing on Megan and Harry. We'll get to that. But I'm telling you those two have turned the royals upside down. And not just the royals from the UK.

I'm talking about the royals worldwide. They turn them upside down. And now, after they went to Africa and they shot a documentary, which we have some clips from the documentary, which are, some are just amazing. Amazing. Then we have a clip from Kate who has now decided that she's going to speak. She has to. She has to.

It's her kingdom. Holy cow. She's got to catch up. Harry are talking trash about her kingdom. So they do, we got Megan and Harry in Africa and they do the, that are doing a documentary following them around, you know, I don't know, Megan and Harry helping kids or whatever the hell it is. It's more than that, but okay.

No, whatever the documentary is. I'm sure that it's what it's called. And if that's the title of it, please go back to the drive-in-board, because that's a horrible title. It's ITV. Oh, okay. Megan and Harry helping kids. Africa.

Yeah, you have to have the. Yeah. Africa. The big stamp. And so, you know how taxing that is. They had to take the kid. Archie was there. And ever so often they had to actually take care of them themselves.

You know the horror of that, taking care of your own kid like that, away from the nanny. So now they're just taxed. They're just taxed. They need some time off. Wait, what? Yeah. They need time off from that trip. Yeah.

So they're going to take six weeks. Six weeks? I mean, Chris. Chris. There's only one person in this building that's able to take six weeks off. And it's not who you think it is. I'll tell you that. Anyway, the,

they're going to spend some time in Hollywood. I'm sorry? Thanksgiving. They're coming over and spent some time with the family. The Queen approved this. I don't feel like the Queen of Prud Day. Well, you know what? They said, look, Grandma, we're going to go back to London for Christmas.

We'll be with you. and the family, the whole, the whole Queenie family for Christmas. And then, you know, but we're going to, we need, look, we're to stop off. Six weeks. We're going to stop off and see Justin up in Canada for a little bit. Turdo. See how he's doing. You know, he just won.

We'll make sure everything's okay there. And then we're going to shoot down to Hollywood. And maybe, you know what? Maybe before Hollywood, maybe we'll stop off at New York, do a little shopping. You never know. And then we'll shoot to Hollywood. They're moving. I'm telling you.

Huh? visit the old apartment. Yeah, you know, stop in and see. This is where I used to live, Harry. It's unbelievable how... I came from here to there. Look at the shambles of this place. It's only a 3.2 million apartment here in Manhattan.

I know. I don't know how I lived here either. After, because we talked about this before. Archie, don't look. You turn your head, baby. I don't want Archie to seize the horrors. Absolutely, I believe that. We just had him in Africa.

I know, but he knows that's not for him. Yeah, yeah. But this could be... This is for him, yeah. By the way, we talked about this in your room. I actually believe your theory now. We talked this in your room, and I actually believe your theory is correct.

They're not moving to Africa anymore. They're going to move to Canada because they want to be close to New York and L.A. And it still gives them just a quick shot across the pond to go back home. To go back home. Go back to the crown. Yep. And that's just like because, look, he doesn't have it, he can't be king. he would never be king he doesn't you know he's tired of a dad wandering around with stepmom and uh his brother

is going to be king and it's just like you know i love you but and nobody separated the whole thing separated everybody fired and everybody's so yeah they moved to can that theory now makes more sense and six weeks and come on jeffy we'll take vacation for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's not a vacation. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's a little downtime. We'll take downtime for...

Relaxation. Tell me some time. Six weeks, Thanksgiving, downtime. Who, only a... Only a prick prince will do that. Wow. Like, come on. Wow.

Come on. Now I'm getting messed up in my head right now. You need six weeks. Oh, it's such a long trip in Africa. I know. It was tough. to the people with AIDS. We gave them clothes with,

no, you didn't even give them clothes. It was tough. And there were, there were two days. No, I'm sorry. Three, three days. A full three. Three days on this trip when Harry said,

just give the nanny off. Just give the nanny the day off. And I had to take care of him. We had to take care of Archie Albars. After a few hours, I just had to give Archie to Harry. and walk away for a little while. I mean, you just can't.

The one interview, oh my gosh, I wasn't going to do this whole thing on her here, but the one interview. Thank you, Whoopi. The audio is amazing. Don't worry, I'm not going to play it for you. But she's doing an interview with this guy from ITV, and this is part of their series on ITV

and a documentary on them in, you know, Megan and Harry helping kids. I'm sure they, I'm sure she did. I'm sure that went. another mistake by our queen and uh she said the interviewer the guy the host of the show asks uh so

how are you doing how are you doing and uh she's oh thanks for asking you know a lot of people don't they don't ask me all they care of ask everybody else but they don't really think about me and and I went shut up is that about you sweetheart world is a revolved

around you are you kidding me since you've been with harry the world has been revolved around you what Megan wants, Megan gets. And you, I, oh, thanks for husking. I don't get that often. Zip it, Megan. She's playing, how can you, how can you play victim?

I just have a, I just have a mom. I just had a baby and I'm struggling with that. Okay. All right. Zip it, Megan. And I, I'm on your side. But I want, I want to someone, you know, I mean, even Harry doesn't have the guts.

And the only person, the only person. Harry knows. The only person that has the guts to tell Megan to zip it. All right, a couple things we have to get to on today's podcast. For those of you listening live here on Wednesday, the 23rd of October, 2019. Again, this is a helpful inside. This is inside baseball right here for you just a second. I want to pause where I was headed right now.

But how, when you're listening to the podcast and you think to yourself, you know, Well, Jeff is doing stories, and he's interacting with Chris Cruz. I guess he's... What is your title again? Finish that sentence, please. Producer. There you go, thank you.

No, no, don't put the executive in there. No, just producer. All right. For more than this show, what is this show? And you think to yourself, boy, Jeffrey just said something there that Chris usually comments on.

How do you know when Chris Cruz isn't paying attention at all to what's going on on the podcast? Do you know how? I'll show you how. I wish I could just rewind the tape. Rewind the tape. We don't use tape, but the digital recording idiot, I got it. Get so rewind, shut out.

So, any time that I say listen live to this podcast and I give the date, Chris has always given me a hard time that you can't, it's impossible you're not listening to this show live, right? It's just because we're recording it. It's a podcast. You can listen to it first run. You know, it's a first run show. So when it drops every day, that's new.

It's new materials, new content. Right. When you get the boop every day, no matter what it is, whether it's talking, walking dead, or whether it's chewing the fat, Monday through Saturday or the American Dream on Saturday, whatever it is, that's fresh content. It's not live.

So when I say, for those of you listening live, and you don't hear that's not possible it's impossible no you can't listen live you don't hear that that's how you know the producer

is paying zero attention to what's going on and the show he's producing okay so let's get back to the stories I digress I apologize

this story all right this company wants to give $130,000. I'm in. No, I haven't even.

I'm in. Oh, you're paying attention again? I don't have $130,000, so whatever they want, I will give. They want a kind and friendly face for their robot.

Oh, for the robot? For their robot. A kind and friendly face, they want to use your face. Is it like face off? I mean, for 130 grand for how long?

I want to know how long it is. Only asking people who want to license their face to submit a photo. So are they going to be removing my face? Could you just wait a second while I read the rules? Okay?

Candidates who make it to the next phase will apparently get full detail. Like, you know, like you get a... Can we wait? I haven't got to the details. That's why I'm trying to find out. You take forever to get to like the meat of the story. I don't want to know

are they going to slice my face off and put it on the robot. You know what? Yes. And you've been picked. And what they want you to do is slice your face right now. And we'll put it on ice and we'll send it to them. We'll put it out of ice and we'll send it to them.

In fact, hold on. Let me get in there because I want to shoot. We'll make my Instagram live story. So it'll be on my stories. That will make a good story. Yes, it would. Why didn't you stop him? Who am I?

You're his friend. You know, I know. But he wanted to donate his face to. No, no. I'm not donating anything. I'm selling. my face for $130,000. I'm sorry.

He wanted to sell his face to the company. It's the GOMIG. Says the company behind the bot that might look like, the robot line has been in the worst of five, Geomag says in all cases. What's the company? Top fund. Independent VCs and top fund base in Shanghai.

China? Due to a non-disclosure agreement is signed with robots, they're not telling you who the robot is. But they're not saying how long they're going to use, like I would say for 130 grand. You can have it for life. No. No way. Yeah.

For $130,000? Jeffrey, who else is going to pay? Not a chance. Who else are going to pay for your face? For life? No. Is there anybody else paying for your face right now? After it gets on a few, a few robots?

Yes. And as a matter of fact, yes. Yes, Chris, they are. They are. Yeah, you got, how many bits do you have right now? I have to look it up right now. I don't have the exact number in front of it. No, no, no, please. Look at out.

Look at out. How many bits right now do you have for your face? I have to check. You know what? I'm out of service on my phone. I can't, uh, what the heck? Why can't I even get something's wrong with the, something's because something's wrong with the IT or something.

I mean, I can't even get the online here to find the, the bids. Download and subscribe to more content. At the blaze.com, slash podcasts. Okay. So there's a couple of this. I have so much stuff for you today.

It's really just, I don't, I mean. Did you, were you able to add up all this numbers? Yes, and they all added up to 18. Thanks for asking. Yes, and Oprah wins it all. She does. Oprah wins it all. We added all 19 names.

It came up to about, it came under $3 billion. Wow. So it was 2, 6 or something, 2, 7, something like that. And can we add down in there? And can we get them? If you put down in there, you still don't beat Oprah. My goodness. Add Glenbeck.

Add Glebeck on there. Oh, look at that. Everybody goes ahead of Oprah, jumps ahead of Oprah. Easy. Let's add you now. Since we're over Oprah, let's add you. We're in negative territory now. Whoa.

We've just deleted everybody except for Oprah. Yeah, we're in negative territory. So Oprah beats them all. I mean, you still need about, from this list, You're still going to need about five, six hundred thousand. So have a billion. Yeah, maybe a little bit more. Okay.

Just to rough draft. Just to die Oprah, yeah. Not surpassing. Yeah, no. You're going to need at least another. Another billion. Yeah. Oof, a lot of money.

A lot of money. Bless her heart. But I do agree with your theory. I do agree with your theory. Once Oprah is another 10 years. Well, Oprah's a machine now. That's what I'm saying. She doesn't have

She has that She does those silly commercials For the pizza And the cauliflower And they eat this and ate that Wait watchers? Yes Why does she do those commercials?

Because she bought into the company The company's hers And the more she shows her face She doesn't own Whole voting rights Yeah okay Does that matter It's Oprah

So and she's got her own line of food And she works for Tyler Perry Well he just opened up A freaking Half a million dollar Her machine is already The network, it's all there. She can't, she can't stop it.

She has a contract with Apple TV Plus. She can't stop it now. So next in line to that is really Ellen, right? I mean, Ellen is on her way to being that, to being the open. I believe so. Now Ellen is, she's a little bit behind the eight ball because of her age. You know, she's Oprah and her are probably about the same age now. And also Oprah got an earlier start because I think Ellen is 60 now or something like that.

so while that might not have a lot to do with it it still might because Ellen's at a point now where she does this for another five years another six or seven years yeah Oprah 65 Ellen is 61 okay so she's a little bit younger than Oprah but she's at Ellen's at the point now where she reaches let's say she her you know she her companies and everything get her to a billion billion and a half okay by that time she's like you know what I'm uh gonna go hang out with my love and just do a little traveling and stay away and not continue to do this show. That's going to be a tough call, though, because the show is huge.

She just signed again for another new deal. I mean, it's an easy show for her to do. That machine is already a work in progress, right? I mean, her idea, the game show, all that stuff came from the syndication show, and it's all just in the works. It just happens. And, you know, 8,000 people are big. busy producing the show and, you know, she shows up. Tough to take.

By the way, Ellen's wife is only 46 years old. Right. So she's like, you know, you can't quit. You gotta keep going, honey. I just finished the TV show Arrested Development. I don't want to go back and do that again. Haven't you heard that when TV and radio people retire, they die? Well, you don't want you to die.

Yeah, that is true. I know. That theory is true. That theory is true. I know. You need to keep working, everybody's still in there. Once you slow down,

your whole body slows out. Look around, man. Yeah. Look around. Yeah. You need to hear, I can't, how many times have we heard from,

and I've heard a bunch. I mean, so-and-so is going to retire and go to the ranch and do, not do radio anymore. Oh, do we lose Bill? Yep, he's gone.

Man, he was good. Let's play an old tape of his. Okay, move on. In memorial. what happens, man. Scary, dude. I know. You can't stop.

You can't stop. Are you my wife now? Yes. Okay. You can't stop. Okay. I don't know where else. There's so many good stories here.

I mean, we could just call it quits and just leave us good stories till tomorrow. We've got the new California law. Kill it, you grill it. Hello. Hey, yes. I kind of like that. We've got the probe. The more meat you eat, the shorter your erections last.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. What? We've got the probe. We've got the alien probe story. We've got the Iowa McLevin story. I mean... Actually, yeah, let's do that tomorrow.

We don't have time today. I agree. I mean, those are such great stories. All the stories will take us another 45 minutes per story to talk about. Well, I mean, we could just zip through them. There's no... There's no way... Jeff Fisher, there's no way you know how to zip through a story.

Zip through them. Even though I'll give it to you like hours before. for the show, there's no way to zip through the stories. Zip through them. That's all I'm saying. Like this, we can just zip through this one. Okay, here we go. Let's zip through this one, right?

Okay. I'll do this one really fast and we'll get out of here. Okay. All right. Yeah. Seriously, you want to bet me? Yeah, let's bet. Okay.

How much should I give you? How much time to zip through to that story? Um, whatever, give me a time. I'll give you five minutes. If I could do it under five minutes, I win. Yes, yes. And the audience wins because I've zipped through the story and I'm giving things, all right?

Here we go. I'm going to start the timer. There's a new study. Boom. Starting. All right. There's a new study that suggests alien probes are too tiny for astronomers to spot. I can tell you this. The probe they used on me was not too tiny. Thank you.