Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 236 | Does Jeffy Hate His Family?

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

Space wars are coming and the Air Force is getting ready. Does Jeffy hate his family? that's the big question today and Kris Cruz digs a little to see why is Jeffy not answering his cousin text messages. Fake News or NOT? and Christmas comes early to CTF. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. The U.S. Air Force has landed the mysterious spaceplane. It's landed. Thank you. It landed after 780 days in orbit. The U.S. Air Force's X-37B spaceplane. Landed on Sunday. What's I been doing up there?

What's it been doing up there? Oh, I know. It's conducting in-orbit experiments that could then be brought back to Earth for examination. You know, they're already examining it, all right? They're talking about they're getting ready for space wars. They're getting ready for space wars. Where did the thing land at? What do you mean?

You say it landed. Landed on Sunday. Where? At an airstrip. It was secret. we just happened to know. It landed back on Earth. It did not land like in some weird planet.

No, they called us from Jupiter and said, hey, we landed. We're the mysterious X-37B space plane. We're hanging out here on Jupiter. Everything's fine. We'll let you know when we take off. We'll text you when we take off. Yeah, that's what happened. It doesn't say where the hell it landed.

It has a picture of it, though. That's what I'm telling you. You're making fun of me. I was asking some serious questions. No, I just figured. They had a picture of it, but it doesn't say, don't cut the musical.

It's a closely guarded secret, so... I can't have any of that. It's so guarded, I wouldn't even know if it's... So it's fake news. It performs risk reduction, experimentation, and concept of operations development for reusable space vehicle technologies. Yeah, that's where they're looking at

how they can take it up there and bomb other countries from space. That's what they're doing. I hope they're doing that. And I hope they're up there flying around saying like a six, this is number five because the six ones going up soon. They send them up, but where's it going to get about it?

But where's it? Travels around space. But where? You are pissing me off. It travels around space. Yeah, so it's like circling mercury and it comes back. Is it going to Pluto and then comes back?

It's going to Saturn and comes back. Yes. Venus comes back. Yes, that's what it's doing. You still don't know where they land, did it? No. Doesn't say. Had to be like wherever they land the space shuttle

because it looks like a space shuttle. Oh, so Edward was there for space. It looks like it's a space shuttle, so it's probably there. But it's, I mean, that's what, they took it off. It flies up the falcon. the falcons take them up, shoot them off, and they fly around the planet, or they go to Venus and Mars, and they come back after, you know, 780 days. They're up there for a couple years, so we forget about them, right?

Oh, wait a minute. There's the space show the Falcon X has taken up another special Air Force. They don't even tell us that, right? It's just another Falcon is taking up a satellite. That doesn't look like a satellite. They always tell us as a satellite. I know. Yeah, it's always a satellite going up.

Except this one went up on there a couple years ago, and it was not a satellite. It was back, now it's back. It's not a satellite. It looks like a space shuttle. Oh, really? Is that big? There's a cool looking.

Yeah. It was that big? Show me, show me. Show the camera. Hold on. All right, let me turn it around. There you go. Nope.

You didn't turn it around. And I did two. It's looking right at the camera. Oh, you're really, you're pissing me out. You're holding nothing. You're pissing me on. All the cameras are in here today, too. So they know you're lying.

Turn those cameras on. Turn them on. No, they are on. It's just there's no feed to send. Where are we going to send the feet to? The satellites, you know, the next falcon. You know what we're going to send it? We're going to send it to my Patreon account.

Whoa, hello. I got a new Patreon account. You do? Yeah. Okay. What I do is I clean the house naked. Wait, are you going to do like that girl that cooks naked? Yes.

You're in Texas? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a fan of hers. What's your name? Sexy Chef Ruby. Yeah. Yeah, Ruby Day.

Yeah. A fan. That's what I said. Sexy Chef Ruby. Let me become a member. That's only $3. I could pay that. Yes, I'd pay, no, today's I got pay $15.4. She's got $4,000.65,000 subscribers

on YouTube. And that's... 100 million views. I mean, she's pulling a little cash of YouTube. Let's you be naked? See, that's what I'm saying. I don't think so. I think the YouTube channel is just her in her apron. She's naked. She's naked.

Well, the only clothes that she's wearing is the apron. And then while, you know, she's strategically edited so that no nasty body parts are slipping out. No snips come out. And then, you know, at the bottom of the page, it goes, subscribe to my Patreon page to see the slips and the nips and the butts and the cracks. Well, might as well just do an only, only fans account. That's another one too. That's better than Patreon. but only fans is like for her kind of people

the people that want to be naked in front of a camera for money only fans is better than Patreon right it is yes I did the research yesterday Patreon is pretty good though no with the problem with Patreon patrons patrons takes too much money from the top those bastards do you mean they want money they're taking some of the money that you're getting yes what yes this capitalist country has got to go down

only fans is better because they keep more than Patreon they take less yes that's going to be that's not going to last much longer. Well, it's working for them because they've been out for a little while now. That's not going to last long. Pretty soon they're going to have an extra bill come in and go, you know,

the way we fix that is we raise our prices. We raise the cut we take. Well, see, here's the thing with OnlyFans, that website is much easier. Unless you pay a la carte instead of Patreon where you pay one payment, it gives you all the access. So Only fans is like,

porn hub. Yeah, so like, for example, you could follow a person for 20 bucks, and if that person decides to, hey, I got some good content coming out, give an extra 10, I'll give you this extra content. Boom. Like that. That's what I'm saying. It's better than Patreon. Patreon.

Patreon is just a tier. Yeah, but if you have the tiers on Patreon, and let me see if I understand this, right? Okay. And I don't, I don't think. But you have separate tiers on Patreon so I can offer, like, here's me sweeping in my T-shirt. Yes, and that costs three hours. Right, and tier two, here's me sweeping without my t-shirt. Well, here's me-

And tier three is, here's me just sitting here without anything. Well, see. Believe me, there's nobody going to be subscribing to that channel. I know that. By tier three, you have access to tier one and two. Okay. All right, so now, but okay, so that's a, but if, my understanding is with Patreon, so let's say I subscribe to chewing the fat,

and I subscribe to tier three, so I'm getting everything, right? So any, and it's, it's 10 bucks. I'll say it's 10 bucks a month. I sign up for 10 bucks a month, but it really is 10 bucks every time I post something new, right? If you put it on your account that that's how you want it, then yes. So like, for example, let's say you want to do that and you want to say, hey, every time I do new content, it's going to cost you $10 on top of whatever monthly fee you're paying on the tier. So you still get the monthly fee. plus whatever.

And plus new content. Now can I do that on tier? And can I do that like if I charge you $10 a month for tier one and two, if you subscribe to tier two for five bucks a month, you get any content that I put on two and three. But tier three is 10 bucks a month plus whatever, plus new content. I like that.

See, now you're telling me, I like that paper. And then that will go into like and then it will show as a consumer, me. Let's say I subscribe to you. It shows me that you're getting paid a thousand dollars per episode or per extra content. How does it show you that? Because that's how transparent they want to be. Or whatever the amount is, right? Or whatever the amount is, yeah. That's nobody's business. Figure it out. Get your own channel. It really doesn't matter. I'm just, let's just so don't tell people what you make. That's wrong. Like, by the way, our gross at Chagmag will hit 10,000 subscribers pretty soon on on patreon

patreon definitely wow following them and um they will be hitting that now that's patreon so what am i getting charged if i go to shagmagg.com and subscribe there is that separate it sends you to patreon oh okay shagmagmig.com so when we talked to them two days ago they were at eight seven thousand something holy cow never mind that they were at the world series that's because they were on chewing the fat and now $7,700. Yeah, they're welcome. Get Julia back on the phone because we need a cut.

We need a cut. We need a cut. By the way, that's like $147,000 a year. No, a month. A month? That's a month, bro. Yeah, that's not $100 grand a year, although $147,000 a year. That sounds better.

That's pretty good wage for a lot of people. 147,000 a month is a damn good wage. I don't make half of that. What's that? I don't even make half of $147,000. a year. It doesn't surprise me. Really?

You're going to hit me like that? If we want to get right down. I make like two bucks a day. Don't give me that, Jeffrey. Don't give me that. See, you've been giving me that for like the last three years. And I do not believe it. Whatever.

You believe whatever you want. Fact. Fact. Okay, you're right. There you go. Did you add the commas? I apologize. I apologize, Chris.

It's $2.25. a day. Really? You're going to go there. Yeah. So you're making... So Ruby Ray is cooking her pumpkin muffins in her apron. What? Ruby Day. That's what I said. You say gray. Oh yeah, well, wait a minute. Wait, you could see...

Slip of the top. Because I paid $3 and I can't see the gray. How are you seeing the gray you have... You should have paid five, my friend. She really, I mean, she's like a girl next door. See, you keep saying that. I don't see that. She's a girl next door. Yeah. Redhead, pale. She's not pale. She's red head. She's white skin.

That's not pale. That's the way redheads are. You're tan next to her. I'm not a redhead. Although I do have redhead blood. I do have redhead blood. If I let my hair go, if I let my hair go. It's red?

It's red. It is. I have red streaks. And when I grow my beard, oh, streaks. When I grow my beard, it has the red streaks in it. Because I have red blood. I have red head blood.

What happened to your kids? They, they, you know. Because you can't deny they're not your kids because those kids look just like you. I can't deny that. No, you cannot deny that.

You can't do the 23 and me? I didn't check it. No, I'm not doing that. You're not doing that. No. I am not doing that, my friend. And I'll tell you why. No.

There is no way. You do 23 and me. They've already caught a serial killer because a family member joined 23 and me and then they caught this guy because of that. I don't want, you know, down the road.

There's a guy on Facebook now been messaging me telling me that he believes that he's a relative of mine. Uh-oh, here we go. Wait, you be sitting in. And he wants to have me send him.

No, he wants to send me like, this is, he sends me a message. He said, this is my mom, my dad, my uncle's, and my aunt or my uncle is from here, which means that this person was here, which is related to you. And, you know, so I, you know, That's pretty cool, though.

Is it? So I bet you he did the 23 in me and then got a name of a list and then went through Facebook. See, that's what I'm saying. And if you get that 23 at me, now you got all people looking at this list, come knocking at the door, saying, no, thank you. Hello? Yeah. No, thank you. Hello?

Yeah. Remember me? Remember me? Yeah. Remember me when I was a female? Yeah. No. No, I don't.

Dena, you got the wrong place. All right, I have to get back to this, I'm not going to let this one go. What is it about this guy that you do not want to answer? No, you got to, no, turn on your microphone, turn on your microphone, turn on your microphone. Turn on your microphone. I'm going to turn on the microphone for you then.

Like, what's wrong? Why are you being this to death? Because I need to know. I need to know why this is so upsetting for you to. It's not upsetting to me. I just feel like I don't want to answer it. Yeah, but is he asking for your social? No.

Not yet. He's asking you for your date of birth? Not yet. Is he asking you, hey, Jeffrey, did you win the lottery? Can I have some money? Not yet. Yes, that's implied. That's implied.

Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's implied. Oh, can you say one of the questions? No, it's not implied. Can you say one of the questions? Give me one of the questions that he's asking you that is so troubling that. See, he probably did do the 23 and me thing, though, because he says here, am your cousin from Canada. So he says he's your cousin from Canada.

Okay. And that, right. Derek gave you. I believe him. Okay, great. Oh, so you believe him. Whatever. I have no reason to doubt him, but I don't know. Okay, but what is it that you don't want to give? Like, he's asking, whatever information he wants, I don't want to give. But what is the information? Has he asked you, what information does he want from you? Whatever information he wants, I don't want to give. I feel like you being like a bad cousin here. Like, he's your cousin. He is in Canada. You're in Michigan, which is kind of like the same thing right now. I have, I know. He probably is.

I'm not doubting it because I know that I have... Then answer him back. I know that I have relatives in Canada and I have relatives in Michigan. That's where I was born. It's where the families were. When I was growing up, I had... I met a lot of relatives coming from Canada and around and big families. And they all had 18 kids and twins and big families and brothers.

I mean, my grandfather was a twin. They both had a thousand kids. And each of their kids had a thousand kids. I was raised with them. Okay. So how... I don't live there anymore. More.

How long has this cousin been trying to reach to you? I don't know. Long. Okay. At least it's not like a cousin. He's stubborn. I give him that. He's like you.

It's like three weeks. Oh, three weeks. Oh, I thought this was like months. This is, dude, can answer him. Just say, hey, cousin. I'm not interested. Bye.

It also says, I'm listening to your podcast. So you know what? He just found out. Oh, crap. Hey, I, I feel a whole, I'm fine. I'm so sorry.

Never mind. Cousin, Jeffie. cousin of jeffy oh cousin of jeffy fine cousin of jeffy i apologize i thought this was going to be like you know like a family reunion like we're going to have tears coming down the the face you could call the hotline you know what here cousin of geoffie please call the hotline no please call the hotline you know i will give the hotline number and i need you to call this hotline and let's talk i could probably give you some answers of those questions that you are you're 23 at me now i could be 23 So cousin of Jeffie.

You don't have enough information to be 23. Cause, cousin of Jeffrey, please call 214-735-9-3-6. And let's- That's not the hotline. That's the CTF hotline. Yeah, C-TF hotline, yeah. Sponsored by Patreon Mobile. Yeah, 214-735-9356.

Cousin of Jeffie, please call me. I'm trying to bring this long-last cousin to his other long-last cousin. I want, I just want to make, you know, it's Thanksgiving is coming along. Christmas time is coming. How about we turn a new leave and just welcome more people into your family? Like, is that's too much to ask, Jeffrey. It is.

I want to see tears. I want to see tears in this family reunion. If you want to see tears, you're going to see tears. You are going to see tears. I promise you that. Casa of Jeffrey, please call me. I'll be waiting.

Actually, operators are standing by. CTF 23 and me. Well, if he's listening live today. Yeah, definitely today he's listening live. I will admit it. Cousin Jeffie, we're alive right now. now. You press pause on this podcast and call me. I am waiting for that phone call. We're definitely live. Okay. So I just want I just want to I just want to I want to apologize to you

Jeffrey. I want to turn on your microphone. I want to apologize to you. But I wanted a little behind the scenes look as we're still on this. We're still on this because I've been on it off the year. I know that's what I'm saying. I see how much this has upset you. It has it up It has upset you, Jeffrey. I feel like I beat the dead horse like 10 times. I keep beating it and I keep beating it. I just want to apologize. I did not mean to bring any bad memories.

You know, I brought up any bad memories. I'm just saying that, look, this guy is, I'm sure is a nice guy. Like all my other relatives, they're great people. I love them. But if they want to know what I'm doing in my life, listen to this show. My guts are on the table on this show every day. Yeah, yeah. And now I'm supposed to call, pick up a phone and say, oh.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, you're related. You were late. You grew up here. I could stop. I gave him the hotline, the CTF hotline number. So you don't pick up the line. It's only me, but I just want to apologize.

I feel like I really hurt you. No, but I mean, if I have to. I really hurt you. I thought I was going to create this happy family moment of like tears. Now you're pissed to me off with that. Oh, he's not a cousin. That's nothing. Like when you see a, like,

a family reunion TV show, you know, like, I was starting to be a, like I said, Thanksgiving is coming, and Halloween is coming, and Christmas is coming. I just wanted to be a nice guy. But I just want to apologize. And the people that, you know,

can't see live, is Jeff he's very upset. And he's not upset at the cousin. He's upset at me that he just keep bringing it up for full segment. That's a fact. And if this show wasn't live, I would have edited this crap out long ago.

But it did bring up a good point off air that we are going to investigate. Yes, we are. Yeah, we are going to investigate. So you can email Chewing the Fat at theblaze.com if you like the idea. I was thinking that maybe we do an actual Patreon page of Chewing the Fat

where you get, and you subscribe to chewing the fat. and it's going to be, you know, a couple of bucks, five or ten. I'm sorry? Five or ten. A couple of bucks. Five or ten. So are you trying to join the App Wars?

So, but what I'm saying is that you would get the unedited raw version of the daily chewing the fat. You can still subscribe to the blaze.com slash podcast chewing the fat because that's the produced, all-encompassed podcast, tremendous. that we put out every day. And what is? Usually with good content. What is this?

Today is a little bit different. Oh no, today's perfect contact. Today is a little bit different. I'm telling you, right now we have about five people that have pulled over because they can't stop laughing. And you got another five people like they're just crying because they feel your hurts that you just don't want to connect with your family. I could, they can listen to me any time and you know my life.

Why? I mean, I'm going to pick up about. I'm going to talk to these people. Now the only person that I did that too was. my mother and that's because she's my mother and I barely went through that I got you see me every day you live with why do I have to talk on the phone you know my life my life is an I lay my stomach out on this table every day the more we peel the onion the more we find out this is just just hurt someone in your family not in

media family but someone on you extend a family a cousin or an uncle or somebody just hurt you and you just don't want to talk to but it's okay you could use this That's your therapy session. And, you know, I believe that the audience will allow you to do that. Anyway, back to my Patreon. So you would get, you would subscribe. Okay.

And you would get, there would be just one tier. Subscribe to Chewing the Fat for so much a month. Yeah, one tier. And that content is the daily, unedited, raw version of chewing the fat. Which is what we do when the microphones are off. But we just leave them on. But we just leave them on.

Leave them on and that's what goes to Patreon. Would you subscribe to that? Chewing the fat at the blaze. and then we'll see we'll see if that's something that we can pull off and stop looking at me like are you because seriously I you make it feel like

you make me feel like I don't love my family whatever I love but you love your family it's just anything other than wife and kids you're just I mean we're all like that you're not the only one I'm the same way are you? Yeah are you mister I just want to get you together with your family and jeers I thought I was going to be like a hallmark moment that I was trying to recreate

a hallmark moment. And obviously with the Fisher family, it doesn't work because there's some past in there. Well, it does with the others. The others are looking for that hallmark moment. Well, maybe I'm trying to help them out. Maybe there's like a thousand dollar check on the other side. I'm sure that. Maybe there's like a $10,000 check on the other side. I mean, I talked about it on Pat today where we talked about it on this show last week, the email that I got from Homeboy from South Africa that's going to got me in a deal with, he sent me an email that did reach me with surprise. And it's good it's worth $22 million.

So if this guy that's reached out to me on Facebook is willing to, you know, split his $22 million with me, we're having a Hallmark moment. Okay, so apparently there is an internet outrage going on across America. And think to yourself the alpha. about song. You know, how you teach your kids, the ABC's. And, you know, I could sing it for you, or we could just do the song for you. A, B, C, D, F G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O P, Q, R S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Y, Y, and Z,

Now I know my ABC's Don't you say that for the rest of us Your stupid little kid Yeah, okay So you probably want to edit out the stupid little kid If you're doing it with your own kid, you know But that's the ABC song Or maybe the kid is a stupid little kid

You don't know You don't know You don't know if they don't know it Get them tested But definitely I'm just saying that's the original song ABCDDMT Everybody knows it

Everybody Everybody sings it to their kids kids to their grandkids. They sang it, they dance, the little songs, it's fun, fun. Ha ha. And, you know, we have fun. Well, apparently there's a new alphabet song.

Of course there is. I know. Of course there is. I know. But apparently there was, it had to be changed. What was wrong with that first one? Did we forget the LGBTQI plus community?

What we forgot about is that the letters L MNO are confusing. Oh, you heard that. You heard that version. It's how confusing it was. How the L-M-O and L-M-N-O. But what is confusing about the L-M-N-O? Because we don't know that it gets kids confused.

It's not L-M-N-O, it's L-M-N-O. Yeah, L-M-N-O. It's not, L-M-N-O, is that one letter? Yes. Yes. You know what? Yes. Yes.

If they're asking you, Mom, is L-M-N-O one letter? Yes. Yes, yes, we are. We're going to the doctor to be checked tomorrow, okay? So, so the new version is tremendous. The new version, and I can almost imagine the internet outrage, why this caused internet outrage. So let's listen and see if you can move right in. You can feel how bad the first the original has been.

Right now it's already pissed me off. A, B, C, D, E, F. So far, that's almost the same. We're good. We're good. We're good. I don't. No?

No, let it do the same. Okay. H-I-J You can't help yourself though You want to sing along I know you do So go ahead J

K-L-M-N Wait I didn't hear that I have to rewind Sorry because it got confusing there A-K-L-M-N O-P-Q-R-S-T-U V-W-W-W-S-T-U

V-W-W X, Y, Z. Okay, so I understand doing these old little nursery rhyme songs and L-L-B-B-A-L-B-S songs in a different way. You know, rap style, country style, stop and start, letter, stuff like that, because it's fun, right?

But it's not real. The song is Element O-P, P-R-S-U-B-W-X-Y and Z. That's the song. F G H-I-J-G And I got to tell you too I know you

We'll go back starting to get positive because I got to tell you The lady that's singing this new version is singing it like it's a condescending you just want to punch it right in the face

I don't know what the deal is she's probably a nice lady I don't know who she is She might be a cousin I don't know I don't know it's too possible but just the way she's singing it

you want to punch her in the face go ahead A B C D E F G Oh yeah, just H-I-J-K-L-M-N But did you notice that the music goes L-M-O-P?

Listen to the music It still has the same rhythm of like Element O-P E-D-E-F-G H-I-J-K-L-M-M-N-N-N-N-N O-P-K-R-S-T-U V-W-X-Y-Z All right, see, this is where the kid says,

No, that's not right. You sang that wrong. It's just agonizing. You know, people sing songs wrong all the time. Now, I don't want to brag, but was it last year or the year before? Last year, Chris Cruz and myself

released a version of Baby It's Cold Outside that... Our first single. Really, it was our first single and so far it's our only single. But I mean, look,

that's what you need? Right. Once you create a masterpiece, do you need anything else? Well, if you create something that's less than a masterpiece, they think you're a loser. So you just have to let the masterpiece

lay out there, right? And so John Legend, who has an Egot, by the way. Yeah, Congrats. He just got it this year. I know, not, I know. And I believe that Chris and I should be the, should have received EGOTS for our version of Baby It's Gold Outside.

We should be the first, like you can get, to get the EGOT, you have to win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. And there's no EGOT award. Yes, it's not like a trophy. It's just that you're a person that's gotten all of those. I think that Chris and I should be the first person to get the actual EGOT award for our version of Baby. cold outside.

Period. Absolutely. So apparently John Legend and Kelly Clarkson were with the ABC people and decided. And what did they do? They decided the original's not good anymore. Oh, come on. So they revamped a take of our song, Baby It's Cold Outside. And of course, we couldn't leave it.

You know, we couldn't leave it with the original. The lyrics are changed. The lyrics are changed. So they are getting their way. Less sexist. To more of a more PC world. More a more Me Too world. Me Too, me too appropriate.

Me too appropriate. And it's on their new Christmas album. Okay. It's time. Yeah, it's time. I'm a fan. I love Christmas music. But don't be changing classics.

Classics are classics. That's why they are on the classic. Right. And there's nothing sexist about babies called outside. I think we've covered this last year more than anybody, this network. That's correct. That is correct. Now, they go and look, I could tell you they're what they're agonizing lines that they use for the Me Too version, which is just, it's stupid.

It's stupid. John Legend, you know, I love you. And Kelly Clarkson, I'm a fan of your work, but this is a bit too. You've taken things too far now. And for those of you that want to have your own copy of our version of Baby It's Cold Outside, I'll tweet out the link so you can have it. It's Christmas season. So, and right now it's free.

You know, if I get the Patreon page, you're screwed. You know, you might have to go. You screwed. You might have to get it behind the Patriots channels. And it'll be us behind a piano and a microphone. And so, you know, get it while you can now for free. But just for you today. I really can't stay.

But maybe it's cold outside. I've got to go away. But maybe it's cold outside. This evening has been. Been hoping that you drop in. So very nice. I'll hold your hands. They're just like ice.

My mother will start to worry. Beautiful, what's your hurry. My father will be pacing the floors. Listen to the fireplace roar. So I really... A better scurry. Beautiful. Please don't hurry.

But maybe just a half a drink more. Put some records on while I pour. The neighbors might think? Baby, it's bad out there. Say, what's in this dream? No caps to be had out there. I wish I knew how. Your eyes are like starlight now.

To break this spell. I'll take your head. Your hair looks swell. I ought to say no, no, no, sir. Find if I move in closer. At least I'm going to say that I try. What's the sense of hurt my pride? I really can't stay.

Oh, baby, don't hurt that. I simply must go. But baby, it's cold. The answer is no. But maybe it's cold outside. Your welcome has been. How lucky that you drop. So nice and warm.

Look out the window at this door. My sister will be suspicious. Gosh, no looks like delicious. My brother will be there at the door. Waves upon the tropical shore. My maiden aunts might as vicious. Gosh, your lips are delicious. But maybe just a secret more.

Never such a clue before. I've got to get home. But baby, you'd freeze out there. Say, lend me a coat. It's up to your fees out there. You've really been grown. I thrilled you touch my hand But don't you see you

How can you do this thing to me? There's bound to be taught tomorrow Think of my life long song At least there will be plenty of plight If you've got pneumonia and died I really can't stay Get over that old out Outside

but Merry Christmas Merry Christmas from chewing the fat All right so I did want to say rest in peace to John Weatherspoon He died at 77 That's one Very sad

I mean at first I couldn't believe you were 77 years old My gosh That's young We're all getting old I mean young I remember the first time I called it Cosby's like 80-something. And he was in that grounds of Cosby and all these black comedians.

Oh, John was hilarious. The black comedian comedian. Yeah, he was hilarious. But that's one though. I met him once. I met him once in Tampa. Yeah, in Tampa when he was doing, when he was doing the tour or whatever. I met him once.

Tremendous. Really funny, really nice man. Very sad. Very sad to see him to see him go. Yeah, his son will be taken on over his social media, according to... His talent will be missed. His son is taken over his social media. Which I don't...

I think I disagree with that. We've talked about this off the air. We have talked about it off the air. And I feel like when a person dies, their social media dies with them. The social media that's connected to them should go. If Jeffrey dies tonight, tomorrow... Jeffrey JFR... It's a memoriam.

One, maybe one last tweet... From the family. Like everybody does. We lost the fat man. We're stepping over and we're moving on. Yes. But you should... not keep retweeting.

My wife would probably disagree with that tweet, by the way, but something. And then that's it. That's it. You're done. That's it. So you go, you can, the account's still there? Yeah, people can go back. Go back. You look at what, you know, oh, that's right.

Like the conservative briefed at that at 23. I should go back and see what's happening in there. But anyway, so it's a new kind of thing to take it over and keep it going on. Yeah, I did not like that because I saw that on his Twitter. I was on his Twitter and then I saw it on. the guy who passed away's Twitter, that they change his bio, saying that now will be handled by the sun.

Right. I don't like that. Did you see that Facebook now gives emmorum rights? You could give that to somebody? So if you die, good. You give that person access,

then the only thing that they could do is change it from active to in memoriam and that is all. That's all. Very good. It's pretty good. Yeah, that's good. You know,

we have such a big thing going on about suicides across the country and suicide prevention is so important. A little issue at Lancaster Middle School in Pennsylvania, they issued their suicide prevention card just on the student IDs. They put on their student IDs of the school. They put the suicide prevention hotline on it. But when you do something like that, you, A should make sure that you have the correct suicide prevention number

And B, maybe you have somebody, I don't know, proofread it before you print the cards Oh no, Jeffrey, what happened? Give me the number. Let me dial this number. So the wrong number, it was listed, there were two digits that were transposed. Okay. And so let's dial the teen hotline, shall we? All right.

We're dying like, uh, 1-800-7-23-8-2-5-5. One moment. Oh. You have reached the National Suicide Service. Oh, they got it right. Well, this is right then. Which one did they get wrong?

The wrong number was listed after two digits were misplaced. But this is the suicide prevention line. I thought all I do is from students print new replacement cards. All right. So let's see what's the other numbers are. Hold on. We've got Need Help, the teen line. Okay, dial this number.

Let's call them all. We'll find out which one. Because they said it was a, it was a chat line. But not the one that you want. 1-800-852-8-3-36. I mean, if all the numbers are, this, I hope this might be the right card. Please listen carefully as our menu option.

No, that's the right. No, that's the number. Okay, so what's the deal? This is supposed to be the card that had the wrong one. Fake news. That's fake news. Absolutely, you fell for it. You fell for it.

All right. So it was supposed to be like a sex line? Yeah. Huh. But you're right, it's fake news. It's the school trying to say, we've got it, you know, we got it wrong, but here's the card and we're helping kids out. Because this picture says, this is the image of the card was posted to social media. Call 911 if you're in immediate danger.

talk to a trusted adult. Crisis text line. Suicide prevention line. Need help? Teen line. We called both of those. We tip 1-800-8 crime to report a possible crime or bullying. Let's see. Super 10, 20 hours a day. So that's right. That's the right number.

27. Wait, what number did? Okay, so the suicide, something was struggling. Because the number on the card is different from this number. We called a 1-800, call it again. 1-800-7-23-8-255. If this is the... One moment.

Okay, that's the suicide prevention. Yeah, okay. So now dial 1-800. Don't shake your head of it. Dial 1-800. Dial 1-800-273-8255. You have reached the National Suicide Programme. Okay, it's fake news.

Even the wrong number goes to the suicide prevention. It is fake news. Oh my gosh. And I bought it. I bought it. I bought it. Hook, Planet Sinker. Download and subscribe to more content.

at theblease.com slash podcasts. I hope no teen has to use the number, though. For real. All right, so earlier we gave you the, maybe it's cold outside version, just the early Christmas present for you that Chris and I did, and we released it as a single last year,

and I'll tweet out the single again on my Twitter account at Jeffie JFR. And you know what? I'll put it on, I'll put it on Facebook as well, Jeff Fisher Radio, and I'll drive you to a link from Instagram as well, just so you have that as well, okay? But I love the PC version.

What brought us to that was the PC version of John Legend and Kelly Clarkson, who are putting it on their new Christmas album. And, you know, the words, what will my friends think? I think they should rejoice. If I have one more drink, it's your body and your choice. Shut up. Stop it. Just stop it.

John, just stop. It's all I'm asking. It's all I'm asking. And since we found out that we had fake news from Lancaster on their card, I think I have another story that I love the story so much, and I think it's fake news. Oh, no. Don't buck me down with facts.

The 11-year-old girl from Zimbabwe jumped on top of a crocodile and gouged its eyes out when it attacked her nine-year-old friend. And you think, Wow. You don't believe that. Tremendous. I don't.

You don't believe that? I believe that. I've seen them plenty movies. Rebecca Montgomery. I'm sorry? Rebecca Montgomery. Bless you. Rescued her nine-year-old friend,

Latoya Mawani. What? Latoya Mawani. And bless you. From the grips of a crocodile after the reptile attacked her while swimming in the stream in Zimbabwe last week.

Rebecca jumped on top of the crock and gouged his eyes out, which caused it to lose its grip on Latoya, who escaped with just minor injuries. Don't believe it already. I was at work when I learned that my daughter had been attacked by a crocodile while swimming, Mawani said. That's Latoya Mawani's... Oh, yeah, understood that word.

Her family. That's her father. For a moment there, I thought the worst, before I learned that she had survived after being saved by Rebecca. How she managed to do that, I don't know. but I'm grateful to God. Latoya is recovering well here at St. Patrick's, and we expect her to be discharged soon

as her injuries are not serious. Well, Cumboy went running to the nearby stream when she heard the screams of 9-year-old friend Latoya Mawani and saw a crocodile pulling her underwater. We just left the water when I heard Latoya who was left alone swimming near the neck deep zone screaming and something was biting her hand. Since I was the eldest among the other seven children,

I felt the urge to save her. I jumped in the water, got on top of the crock, then gouged its eyes out, which caused it to loosen its grip on La Toya. Once she was free, I swam with her to the banks where the other children pulled her out of the water. The crocodile, fortunately, did not attack us after it let us let off Latoya.

But he's blind. The younger... The younger... Don't bog me down with facts on the crocodile. The younger girl escaped with just minor injuries. Okay, this is not true. This is fake. There's no pictures.

There's nobody. They didn't go and find. They didn't say we're going to look for the blind crocodile. Now now you've got a blind crock wandering around, just chomping around. I mean, I'm sorry. That's a good picture right there. Thank you. That's a good picture.

Wandering, just chomping on things. That's the new movie, Blind Croc. After you reading that story, at what part you said fake news? At what part? At what part do you say fake news? When I got to the point of her, deciding to jump on the crock this little girl and just gouging his eyes out.

But it just there's no pictures. All those stories have other links to videos and stories about other crock stories. But not this one. It just feels like it's just the whole thing felt wrong. Here's when I say fake news. When you said that the dad was at work. There's work done there?

I thought you just go to the field and just like, you know, hunt animals. What was this work? Zimbabwe. Yeah, there's no work there. You kidding me? What kind of work? They're growing.

Yeah, growing like what? You know what? We're going to find out exactly because I believe they're like the pillar of industry. Oh, they are? Yes. The pillar of the industry. What kind of industry?

Like the... In Africa, Zimbabwe. The car industry, the entertainment industry, the cell phone industry. Yes. Yes. Yes, to all the above. All right, Zimbabwe.

Let's see what's happening in Zambaw. Zimbabwe. It's a landlocked country in southern Africa. Okay, well, stop and bug me down with facts. We know that, okay? Known for its dramatic landscape and diverse wildlife. Okay, so far enough of it within parks, reserves and safari areas. Okay, so.

On the Zabezzi River, Victoria Falls makes a thundering 108 meter drop into the narrow, But Taco Gorge. No one knows how long that is. Where there's white water rafting and bungee jumping. Downstream, there are blind crocodiles chewing on people. No, it does. Downstream there. National Parks, Home of Hippos,

rhinos, and bird life. There's still nothing about the industry of... Currency. United States dollar. Oh, nice. The RETGS dollar. Points of interest. Owanga National Park.

I'm sorry? Boys of interest, the Hohenka National Park. Bless you. They got like 80 languages. English, Schwana, Nadeblee, southern Soto, Taswana, Tsuas, Tsonga, Tonga. Those are all languages. What the hell?

This girl, we happen to find one girl that attacked a crocodile. Blinded a crocodile. Not just attacked it. Blinded a crocodile. Again, leading industry of... Or world fact book on Zimbabwe. There we go. Where the side was working.

The top thing when you have to go, I just went away. Gosh darn, I wanted to click on, is Zimbabwe poor? I'm guessing the answer was yes, but I didn't click on it, so I don't know. We may never know.

My introduction to Zimbabwee geography, people, economy. There we go. Industry. Zimbabwe's economy depends heavily on opioids. Manufacturing. We're done.

It doesn't say. Wait. Mining. and agricultural sectors. Like I said, so that was down the field, you know, taking out some

brew vegetables. See, due to poor harvest, low diamond revenues and decreased investment. Oh, no. Lower mineral prices. Oh, my gosh. Infrastructure and regulatory

deficiencies. A poor investment climate. A large public and external debt burdened. And extremely high government wage expenses impede the country's economic performance.

You think? So... That was not working. Manufacturing is a little slow in Zimbabwe. And that's how I know that story is fake news. Because there's no way that dad is at work when those conditions are

that horrible there. Forget about this story. It's right there. That detail right there. While I was at work, I learned that my daughter... Maybe he works for the government. You don't know. You don't know. No, he no longer works for the gun because he gives an interview, so he's dead.

Right? And his kids making animals handicapped. That is true. Right? Making animal handicapped. I know. And I hate that. The other day we had a story, a horrible story, of a lady who was attacked by, by, uh, by, uh, manatees.

Oh, yeah. And, uh, she was attacked by manatees. Essentially assaulted. Yes. Well, uh, now we have a story. Oh, no. That happened in Florida, too. and now I have a store, another Florida man

who was, he was in a boat wreck. A boat wreck? A boat wreck? Yeah, he's about, he had a small rocky island about 200 miles off the nearest coastline a couple weeks ago.

And he managed to survive. Good for him. He survived off some seagulls. Whoa. And some muscles and some urchins. Okay, okay. That's a good meal. And doctors, they're not fearing for his life right now,

but he was, suffering from dehydration the toxins of the unidentified muscles he consumed on the island were probably the cause of his hallucinations. Oh, hello. At least, but I don't think they were hallucinations. Oh, they were real. Because he claims, he described

in graphic detail how he was forced to perform oral pleasure on fish like mermaids. Of these aquatic creatures. So mermaids? He got to see mermaids.

Not only onto, women but also unto men. So mermaans. The mermaans. Mermaids. Dudes. Dude. They're,

they're, they're, he haven't tested now. Because they're trying to, you know, of course they're trying to blow him off. Like he's hallucinating. Like mermaid herpes?

But he doesn't have any abnormal injuries. And the inflammation to his areas. Really factor. To his areas. Yeah, really factor. According to,

doctors, it's highly unlikely he was exploited by living sea creatures. So he was having sex with dead creatures? They don't believe him. And they believe that it's possible. Possible? That the inflammation? It's not a relief factor. It could have been self-inflicted.

Now, it ticks me off that you can't even, you have a boat wreck and you survive. and then you come back, somebody finds you. Yeah, you're found. You come back and they're trying to take care of you and then they don't believe you. They don't believe you. What happened? How dare they?

Can we talk to them? You know what? That's a good, we should talk, we should try to talk to Alvin McAllister. It says here he's 72. Oh. Okay. Oh, are you on the hospital side now?

See, now they give me more information. He's lost for 14 days. So he was off for 14 days in this little island. Coast Guard finds him. He was eating seagulls, muscles, and orchards. No urchins. Yeah, orchins. And maybe drinking some salt water.

Whatever, because he was dehydrated. Dehydrated. And he's 72 years old. Suffering from hallucinations. And there's a sun beating down. Yeah, he made it all up. And they don't believe that he was forced to perform things. Force to perform things to the mermaids and the mermaids.

in the mermaans, yeah. Yeah, I think he's a... The brother said we're just happy to have him alive. Are you? So, are you having to him alive? Because now he's bringing shame to you family. The family is, no, are you kidding me? The family's happy.

They thought they lost him. And they're happy to have him alive. Right now after this interview, they hoped they have lost them. Because now they're going to be the family of merman and mermaids. Mermaids. Yeah. Well, you never know. And if he does 23 at me,

next thing you know you start hearing from all the mermaids and mermaids from all over the ocean yeah yeah just you get a little McAllister swimming around that little darn 23 right man

they catch up to you every time