Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 255 | Fat Pile Friday - Michelle Obama EDITION | Guest: Tarah Price

Episode Date: November 23, 2019

The nominations are in and Michelle Obama got a nomination for her audiobook. Is Frank Sinatra the next #MeToo? Well Jeffy is here to stop that and maybe convince you. In the break room we talk about app dating v. face-to-face dating. Tarah joins Jeffy to discuss why dating offline (not using a app) is better. Then the fat pile goes headline edition since it got SUPER fat this week. If you are traveling this holiday make sure to check with TSA because they added new items you can have in your carry-on bags.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now a Blaze Media podcast. We neglected to congratulate former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden yesterday on his newly found grandfather ship. Congratulations, Joe. That's right. Hunter Biden was found to be the father of the baby that he said, He wasn't the father of. I know I'm dating my brother's widow.

I'm going on taking care of that. But look, when in Arkansas you gotta have a little Arkansas bidness. And I don't even remember.

I don't even remember the time I spent down there, but you know, I guess it's possible. That's why I tried to have the case thrown out Because I didn't want to have it proven, but now that it's proven, okay. I've got to comment on it or anything, but, you know, if you say so, if you say so. Good luck getting some cash from me, though. That whole Ukraine money is down the toilet right now.

Whose widow Haley is dating, if that's what you want to call it? Hunter, her dead husband's married brother. But she blames her evil twin, who showed up in episode 43. Will the truth come out? Will her indiscretions show up on someone's phone? And how does Anthony Wiener fit into this picture? For answers to today's burning questions, tune in next time. Oh, that's it.

Tune in next time? To chewing the fat? That was our bit. It wasn't, though. But tune in next time anyway. Plus, you can go back and listen to my special on Hunter Biden and find out exactly what kind of guy he is. We'll tweet it out from the Twitter accounts of either Chris Cruz or Jeffrey JFR.

And I may even put, you know what, I may even put that on Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio. So you can give a listen to what kind of guy Hunter Biden is. We break it down for you. Have a happy Fat Pile Friday, by the way. I mean, it is Happy Fat Pile Friday. I can't tell you how. happy I am that it is Fat Pile Friday. We've got a ton of headlines for you,

a ton of fat to go through. We've got online dating advice and inside baseball talk. Again, inside baseball talk on dating, using online services to create a little love

business for you. And we're going to see how that went because remember we talked to Blake and using our CTF. And she's on a date. We got her a date on the CTF hotline. CTIF. app, which is really just a voicemail system. But it's soon to be a dating app.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. It's also an email system. There's an email that it can email us a resume. And maybe that's, the hotline accepts maybe text messages from those people that would like to send. Just dating. In the resume for dating. Just dating. Then you can have a voicemail to the hotline, which is powered right now by a Patriot Mobile.

Yeah, it's a very on-demand hotline right now. It most definitely is an on-demand hotline. So behind baseball for the audience, there's a couple of mobile services fighting for that hotline at this moment. But right now. So right now it's PowerBad Patriot Mobile. [phone]. So use that at your discretion. Now the Grammy Awards came out.

The nominations, I should say, came out. And sure we could break them down for you. but when you're looking at 84 categories full list do you really want me to break them down for you it's an hour podcast we don't I mean look

the show airs January 26 on CBS so good luck have fun at least they're you know it's airing that's the Sunday before the Super Bowl so I was going to say the big game when is the big game oh I mean the big game oh my did I say no I didn't say I didn't say Super Bowl no

I did not what are you doing I didn't say Super Bowl. It's a big game. It's three times. That's like $10,000 already. If I keep saying it, do they keep paying me $10 grand? No, you pay them. Who wrong?

I never said it. I beep that out. But congratulations are in order as we go through the 84 categories on the Grammys. To Grammy-dominated author Michelle Obama. Congratulations, Michelle. No. No, congratulations. The former first lady.

was nominated for the best spoken word album award for her work in her memoir Becoming. A racist in America? Now the other nominations went to... Jeff Fisher? The Beastie Boys book. Whoa. Went to Ivy Cateonia 20 years as a two-time cancer survivor.

Mr. No-It-all, John Waters, and Sukho Andrews and the string theory? Oh my gosh, I listened to that one. I think it's Suko. S-E-K-O-U?

No, no, you got it right. Yeah, Seco. Yeah, yeah. Good job. And Andrews and the string theory. So she's up against some powerhouses. Some real powerhouses right there.

I mean, when you're in the same, when you're in the same list as John Waters and the Beastie Boys and Sicko? Yeah. Secao? Yeah, Siko. I know him.

Sikau sounds like a gas station, but it's not. S-E-K-O-U. The gas station in South Korea. The string theory. But Michelle is up for that Grammy and the best spoken word album. Must be a... I'm sorry?

A riveting audio. Well, listen, it includes, look, the best spoken word album includes poetry, audio books, and storytelling. And I thought I'd like to what let's hear just a little bit of penguin random house audio presents yeah yeah pangerman house audio becoming oh i'm sorry by michel obama oh my gosh read for you by the author oh this is this is what she's nominated for let's hear a little bit of this to all the people

who've helped me become the folks who raised me fraser marian craig and my vast extended family i don't know how long i'm going to be able to take this because it's so good and i'm I am just overwhelmed already. You're tearing up. You need some tissues? So, I'm fine. Just go ahead, go ahead. We'll try to do it.

My circle of strong women who always lift me up. My loyal and dedicated staff who continue to make me proud. To the loves of my life. Malia and Sasha, my two most precious peas. She's good there. Who are my reasons for being. And finally, Barack. Yeah.

Who always promised me an interesting journey. Did he? Did he? Becoming. Oh, there we go. Preface. March 2017. Tell me it's not riveting already.

I mean... When I was a kid, my aspirations were simple. I wanted a dog. I wanted a house that had stairs in it. Two floors for one family. Right. I wanted for some reason a four-door station wagon instead of the two-door Buick that was my father's pride and joy.

I hated my dad. I used to tell people that When I grew up, I wanted to be a pediatrician. Why? Right? Because I love being around little kids, and I quickly learned that it was a pleasing. No, no, go on. Wait, wait just a second, because she tells us why she ends up telling people why she wanted to be a pediatrician.

Sure, she well, like little kids. But then she realized. The answer for adults to hear. Yeah, if you back that up, it was a pleasing answer for adults to hear. So she realized if I say, what do you want to be when you grow up? A pediatrician. up i wanted to be a pediatrician why because i love being around little kids and i quickly learned that it was a pleasing answer for adults to hear oh a doctor what a good choice

in those days i could lie to adults and they went oh okay great well everybody does that every kid does that what do you want to grow up a doctor a fireman a policeman because that's all we know Really? Yes. Okay. Whatever. I mean... What are you trying to do here?

No, I'm just saying... Are you trying to like, our first lady is just like... I'm just saying that she realized she could lie and everybody liked it. And I'm just saying that that may have transcended time throughout the years. But I can't take any more. You've already got a gist of what... Or pigtails and bossed my older brother around and managed always and no matter what to get A's.

You know, if you cut this, if you just not let it play for the full 10 minutes that we have, you're going to be called a racist and a sexist, right, and a bigot. Because a white man has stopped a black female from speaking. Man, I wish we didn't have the audio problems we're having right now with our equipment. It's just, I can't. I want to play the whole thing, but I don't want to, if we're, with the audio problems there's just,

wouldn't do it justice. And so people go out and buy the audio version of becoming, and then you'll be able to enjoy it for yourself without the audio problems and know that hopefully, hopefully,

that she wins the Grammy. What are the odds? What are the odds? Michelle Obama wins the Grammys? What are the odds that Barack and Michelle are there as nominated? for the Grammys at the Grammy Awards.

They both show up? No. Where they're not Netflix pin? No, they're both not showing up. Or do they film? Yes. They film a hello with a, I wish I could be there tonight, but we're in Ukraine. It depends what happens with the impeachment hearings by the end of the year.

So. Because if they're there, it means Trump is out. If they're not there, it's during Ukraine. So they're not going to be there because Trump's not going to be out. Trump's not going to be. I don't start playing the political music. I'm just telling you. No, I'm not because I brought this up.

I brought this up. He's not going to be out. But I think you're right. Depends on how that's going. Yeah. Or how it's already, if they've already wrapped it up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Because like if the country is like... If they voted, if the House has voted to impeach him and they're just waiting on the Senate, they're there. Yeah, they're there. Absolutely. Because in the country, it's like, see, there's nothing wrong. But if the house has... haven't voted and we're still doing this whole dance.

Yep. Doing BVAS satellite from Ukraine and Russia. And then, sorry, look at the time. Wish we could be there. Which thought, oh, wait, that's tonight. So we filmed two. We filmed two. We filmed the, maybe we do a live shot.

If they win, we do a live shot. Okay. Maybe. Okay. Maybe. But we do a film. Hey, yes, I'm Michelle Obama. Thank you so much for the nomination.

Wish I could be there. Rock on. Hey, Taylor Swift, sorry. You couldn't sing your songs because you signed a deal. Now you're pissed. Sorry. So I wish you could. I know how bad they're against you though, Taylor, because they're putting you down. Another way to keep a female down. I'm with you all the way, even though you signed the million dollar deal and now you're not happy with it. But that's another story because I'm on your side. That's for another day. Yeah. Don't bug me that more facts.

Agonizing. Come on, Taylor. That whole Taylor Smith thing is agonizing. Dude, for the last two years, she's been going down this spiral of like nonsense. It's ridiculous. Who's advising her? Probably no one. Did someone die? She's Taylor Swift, right? Did someone die? Who, that's possible. Somebody close to her. Yeah, that was intimate.

Pass away or they're no longer talking because she was doing really good when it came to like keeping herself out of politics. I'm above everything. Above all those. I'm Taylor Swift. I'm doing it on my own. I have a brand new.

And now it's like, wherever that person was in her life is no longer part of her life. And she's just making dumb decisions. Yes. In fact, that could be the title of her next album. Taylor Swift. Dumb decisions. And it'll be specifically about her.

But congratulations to Michelle Obama. And my gosh, do I... Oh, I fix the audio. What? Yeah, I fix the audio. Can I play some more? I mean, did the engineers stuff come in? Engineer stuff.

I post a 911 and he was here fixing the audio. Oh, that's great because he knew that we were trying to play the Michelle Obama audio. Go ahead, I guess. No, I didn't know exactly what I was shooting for. Now I think it's one of the most. useless questions an adult can ask a child. What do you want to be when you grow up? Okay, never mind.

The audience back up. No, no, no, no. Continue this. I want to hear what she says now. As if growing up is finite, as if at some point you become something, and that's the end. So far in my life, I've been a lawyer. I've been a vice president at a hospital and the director of a nonprofit that helps young people build meaningful careers.

I've been a working class black student at a fairer. I'm a fancy, mostly white college. Shut up. I've been the only woman, the only African American in all sorts of rooms. I've been a bride, a stressed out new mother, a daughter torn up by grief.

And until recently, I was the first lady of the United States of America. Wow, look at that. The engineers didn't fix it all too bad. I wish they had. She forgot that an immigrant took her job, too. Call them, call them back, because the... Oh, we're calling back?

All the engineers back because there's too much of a problem. And tell them, look, we're trying to do a show. We've got other stuff to do. So, oh, look, darn, we can't get through. Darn it, the equipment's all down. And, poof, man, I wish we could get a hold of something. So just let me say congratulations to Michelle. Oh, see.

What is going on? Everything's down here. You know, that's why Texas, that's where we're in trouble. We're on our own grid. The whole thing's going to hell. We can't play the Michelle Obama audio. Wish we could. Because I really,

whew, man. But congratulations and my gosh, I hope that you win. I'll tell you what, my money's on you. As long as we're on music and we're, you know, we started out with, you know, the Grammys and Michelle Obama and a little Taylor Swift. We might as well continue on with Little Music News. Harry Connick, Jr., who I love, he had an interview with UK's this morning show, and he recalled,

now he's trying to bring down Frank Sinatra. Oh, come on. He's going to piss me off. Come on, man. He's going to try to bring down Frank Sinatra. He talked about how Frank was completely inappropriate. Absolutely he was. And I, he's Frank Sinatra.

Exactly. And by the way, here's the story. Okay. So bug me down with facts. Yes. Yeah. So Harry is going to perform at some, at some thing. And Frank's going to be there, all right?

So Harry chokes. He can't do it. He doesn't do it. And he's really bummed because he was so nervous and he blanked on stage. and he just couldn't do it. So right there, Frank's like, holy God, what are they doing to me? I had to come to this joint and watch these people

and this kid's supposed to be good. And he sucks. He couldn't even perform. And so after the show, they end up in the same elevator together. Okay, so Frank and Harry's girlfriend at the time who is now his wife, Goodacre, who is pretty good looking.

I don't want to meet to her, but she's pretty good looking. She ain't lying. Not that she was working for Victoria's Secret or anything at the time. But she was okay. I know. I know. So she's one of the real angels. So she's in the elevator.

And Frank and Harry and her in the elevator. And Harry's trying to tell Sinatra, I'm sorry. I'm much better than what you saw. And Frank, that even just ignores him. It was like, whatever. He choked, dude. Right. Why are you talking to me?

No bother. But Harry looks at the girlfriend and says. So Frank is looking at Harry like, shut up. But then he sees the girlfriend. He just looks and he goes, You're beautiful. And he reaches over and he kisses it right out of the mouth, walks out of the elevator.

Come on, man. That's inappropriate. That is not inappropriate. Stop it. That's Frank Sinatra. Yes. You're lucky Frank Sinatra. you.

Yes. You're lucky. I'm sorry. Isn't the guy from Family Feud, he kissed every girl in the mouth. Thank you.

That was the thing back in the day. Plus, it's Frank Sinatra. Yes, Jeff, you tell me that you're going to say no to a kiss from Fastenatra?

In fact, if I'm Harry, I'm like, dude, I'm not worth a kiss. Thank you. Great. So, I'm sorry. Don't be bringing down Frank Sinatra. Harry, I love you.

That pisses me off. I love Harry Connick Jr. But I'm sure he's telling the story and he's going to say, I wasn't trying to break down Frank Sinatra. I was just trying to tell a funny story. No, you were trying to bring down Frank Sinatra.

I think so. I think so. It's like the same people trying to bring down Michael Jackson. Like, stop it. Or the same people trying to bring down Bill Cosby. Like, stop it. Wait. Or the same people try to bring down like Harvey Weinstein and Matt Louder. And like, stop it.

Enough is enough. Enough is enough. Let's stop bringing down these American icons. I'm getting tired of this. Speaking of another American icon. Cisco The Cino Cisco

The R&B singer Who Yeah he was on That TV show 20 years ago His song The Thong song Was a big hit

And it's still a big A 20 years Since the Thong song 20 years And he was nominated For a Grammy for that Oh Didn't win

Sorry The Thong song Did not win a Grammy me very sad very very sad then the song itself she had dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what baby move your butt butt but but i think i'll sing it again i mean that didn't win a grammy i know i don't look at me like that i voted for it i voted for it i mean would you hear you like to dance on the hip-hop spots and you're you're cruise to cruise to connect the dots,

not just urban, she liked the pop because she was living La Vita Loca. No, don't do it as well I'm already mad that it didn't win the Grammy. All right, that's enough. I just want to congratulate him

on being 20 years a hit. Right. Come on. Not worth a Grammy, just a nomination? I'm pissed. As you know, we cover online dating here at CTF with in-depth, in-depth. And nobody right.

Oh, yeah. Online dating. Left or right, up or down. Just swipe. That's what we believe here at CTF. In fact, we gave you a million-dollar idea already this week on a new dating site. What was it again? The funeral dating site?

The funeral dating site. Swipe up for heaven. Have to have a day. down for hell. Down for hell. You're out. Up for having you're good. Yeah, that's the new man.

I mean, you're welcome. You're welcome. Thanks to, thanks for listening to Chew of the Fat. By the way, you listening for free around the country? Are you freeloaders? No. Or around the world. Or around the world.

We have freeloaders around the world. Now I'm even more angry. Yes. Subscribe to Chewing the Fat. Go to The Blaze.com slash podcast. Click on Chewing the Fat. We give you a plethora of options to subscribe. and just subscribe.

If you're an Apple user, Apple iTunes, just same thing. That's really different. With Apple core iTunes, you can rate and review and we've made it easy for you. You can just rate it 20 stars

and review it best podcast ever. And you're good. Other people find out about us. But so just go to the blaze.com slash podcast, click on Chewing the Fat and subscribe. That's all you have to do. I'm not asking that much. Okay.

So we've covered online dating and Tara Price, who works here at The Blaze, got a little upset because she believes. And I don't know that I want to talk to her now because she's trying to shoot down the CTF dating app that we have going on. And, you know, she's coming in with a thing of statute. She practically harangued me in the hallway. Like, how come you're promoting all these dating apps when it's better to, you know, dump people at a bar in person. I'm like, okay, well, we'll talk to you.

We'll talk to you because I believe, you know, look, you've got Bumble, you've got Tinder, you've got OkCupid, you've got Hinge, coffee meets bagel, which is one of my favorites other than the CTF. You got HAPA, the league, her, clover, I mean,

and plenty of fish, my favorite. Match E-Harmony, you've got the Farmers Almanac dating app. It's the Farmers one. I don't remember what it's called. I wish I could remember the farmers. I think it's farmer something that's their dating. Farmer single. Farmer single, is that what it is?

Yeah, it's what are I. Because farmers, I don't even know this. Facts, is this, you may have this in your stack of facts today on Fat Pile Friday, Tara, but farmers are like the people that are having the most sex in the country. With people? That one's a good question because I don't know the answer. Okay. I'm just going to stick with the most sex.

Okay. Anyway, welcome to chewing the fat. Thank you. Good to be here. Is it? That's what I thought. It's very good to be. That's what I thought.

So what's your problem with the dating apps? Well, for starters, I think that if you can't form a meaningful relationship face to face, that doing it online, you're going to fail miserably because my rule is if you wouldn't do it in person, don't do it online. But with the dating apps, you're seeing a picture. Yeah. Which could be real or fake. Well, we're just bringing me done with facts, Jeffrey. We're just assuming that it's real right now.

You want to hear a stat? we're assuming that the picture I send of my face or any other body part is me. A D-pick? Is me. Trust me. The one you get from me is not me. Anyway, but go ahead. Well, it's the first thing that jumped out at me when I was looking at the stats.

Whoa. Oh, no. Okay, go ahead. So the first thing that jumped out at me was, okay, basically they're saying that because online dating is a very lucrative industry, that $1.9 billion a year, they're saying, that and because people are putting off marriage that it's projected to continue to grow. So they're looking at it as it's just a way to make money,

which is fine. I'm a capitalist. I get that. But if you're encouraging people to put off marriage, then what's the point of dating if you're not trying to find someone to spend in your life with? That's the way I say. Unless you're just trying to hook up. Right.

That's what we're promoting, right? That's what the dating app is before me. Now, CTF dating app is not promoting that at all. We're promoting. I was going to say, what? No, we're not promoting just hooking up. Yes, thank you. We're into relationships and building strong family values.

Are you? But a pole man. Yes. But other sites, other sites like. E-Harmony. Just do want it off the top of my head like Tinder. You know, they pretend that they're, you know, but they're just a hookup. Or grinder.

Or grinder. Oh, yeah. That name. Just the name grinder. Just. Yes. Yeah. It's just kidding.

That does. say it all. Yes. So it's over a billion dollars. CTF dating app has got to get up and running. We got to put this voice mail stuff. We got to get the app up and running for it. The app people are working on it.

Yeah, we got to have people working on it. Okay. Well, it's like the porn industry. You know, the porn industry, it's the biggest industry, you know, there is. That's what the internet was created for. Are you, think I don't know that? Is that what you're telling me that's something about the porn industry? I don't know.

I'm just making sure you know that I know. Okay. No. Okay. So you'd prefer as a, as a female in today's world? You're identifying as a female today, right? Every day, yeah. That people meet face-to-face, whether it's Target bathrooms,

whether it's, you know, the local bar. Target bathroom. You went to Target bathroom. That's interesting. Where you meet people? Anywhere. Wherever you meet people. Anywhere, yeah.

So if you're going to meet someone in a Target bathroom, I think that Grindr is probably for you. Probably most likely. But regardless, I know that, okay, a number of people say that they've lied on their profile, you know, online dating sites. And also a number of people say that they've had someone else help them create their online profile, which I think that's problematic because you're not projecting who you are. If someone else is creating it for you, then I think that that's up, you're already going

into it not in control of your situation. But other than that, let's say if I'm out at an establishment, all right? And I'm not being funny now. Oh, you're not. Okay, serious. This is serious, Jeffie. Seriously. Okay.

If I'm out of an establishment, and other than being face to face, you know, human to human, one of the odds I'm going to tell you all that everything is the truth. Really? I mean, one of the odds. I mean, if you're out trying to meet someone and take care of a little bit of this at the local night spot. Right. Am I telling you everything that's the truth? No, so, I mean, I would.

I would. Would you? Do you know me at all? I would put it all out there. It's like, take it or leave it. Okay. Yeah. All right.

All right. Go on with you. But I can admit, though, most people aren't that way. Most people are not like that. And if I'm, look, some of these apps are for people who are trying to get back into the world today that, let's say, we're married for a number of years and now are single, whether it be widowed or widower or divorce. Right. And they have to find a way to meet single people that they normally, they don't want to go

to a bar. Right. They don't want to go out. You know, restaurants is a tough play. You're sitting alone. Mind if I sit down. What are you doing with your hot self? It just does not going to happen at the Olive Garden.

No, probably not the Olive Garden. So, I mean, you want to, you know, is there a restaurant that it would happen at? I would say more of a bar setting. Right. Yeah. Right. And then, like, we established that's, you know, is that really better? I don't know.

I don't know. Yes, it is. Right. I mean, that's what you're saying. That is better. In my opinion, because I think it puts you out there to learn, you learn who you are. I think you learn more about yourself when you have to actually be yourself and you can't hide behind a computer screen. Okay.

You know. But it's also interesting to note that 60% of people who are on online dating apps are already in relationships. Oh. So that's kind of, you know. And then also, it's also. The more and more, the larger the number grows to like as far as people actually engaged in online dating. It's kind of one of the situations where they, you flood the market. So there's not, the quality of actual, like, user goes down.

Interesting. Because you're flooding the market with options, so to speak. So most of the people are already in relationships or already married? Because, I mean, we have, you know, I mean, I'm not sure about all the other us, but we have, you know, the one Ashley Madison, that's what they're famous for. Right. I mean, hey, cheat.

Right. Well, that's true, yeah. They're out there with it, you know, they didn't hold anything back in that sense. As, you know, founder of the CTF dating app, I don't know that I, I cannot endorse something like that. Does purgatory have a swipe? Out of curiosity.

Yes, in the funeral lap, that would be down. Oh, that's the funeral lap. Okay, yes, okay. It would be down. Okay. Because we took a story, I don't know, something yesterday or the day before about a late. a lady who met her new boyfriend, 30 or 40 years age difference at the funeral of her son.

Oh. So, I mean, when they first met it. That's a God thing. Is it? Is it a God thing? Because that's what he said. I'm sure he did. And so did she.

Never mind. I won't take the joke any farther. Please do. So do you actually have a You're completely against all these dating apps then right I mean that's why you hunted me down in the hallway And so listen to that man What are you talking about?

What are you doing with these dating apps all right? People need to talk to each other I mean I wouldn't say I'm 100% against it But what I am saying is that I believe that It's just it makes people It hinders people from personal growth Because you get in a pattern We set patterns for ourselves

And if you don't have that Sometimes being embarrassed or being kind of off your game a little bit is good for you to help you grow and determine who you are and who you want to be and how the person you want to attract. And I think that if you hide behind a monitor, it's a lot easier to just be someone you're not. Doesn't it happen though? If I want to go out on a date and I'm behind the monitor and I send a picture that is legitimately a picture of me and I say, hey, you know, and you find someone and I swipe right and I go out on that date. aren't I getting that then? To some degree, but how many people did you sift through to get to that person?

And it's kind of like whenever you do that, you're become a lot more shallow and what you're, I don't think people, basically, I know women lie about age, men lie about money. And so whenever, if that's a common thing to be lying about, those are both things that are kind of a big deal. And so if it's easy to lie about that, people, ultimately people just want to hook up is what it boils down to. And which is fine. But I think that also I was reading one of the stats said that one in four women, and I'm Sorry, four out of five women don't use protection and they have sex on the first date. And so that's, that's the problem.

I mean, that's not healthy, you know, in general. It's not good for, wait, what? It said four out of five women don't use protection and they have sex on the first date. You said it's not healthy? Well, it depends on how you, I guess how you define healthy. I should have qualified that. That's pretty an amazing stat. Yeah, yeah.

That's really amazing. We're smarter than that in today's world, you would think. Are we? I guess not. I guess not, right? I stole your line, but yeah. No, it's fine. It's amazing to me that that actually still happens.

Yeah, yeah. So, all right, so here's the deal. First of all, thank you for stopping by and bogging me down with facts. Anytime. Anytime. The show cannot be bogged down with facts anymore. And second, we're going to have to change some guidelines on CTF dating app because of this. So you'll bring you, you can be an honorary board member of the CTF dating app.

Consultant. Well, okay, we'll start you as a consultant. I just was in my ear with the other board member, and he was like, ooh, no, consultant first. I'll just be the face of it. We're not going to put you on the board. I'll just be the face of it. We'll talk later. Okay.

So things will change at the CTF dating app for sure, because you've really brought me down with facts, and I'm very disappointed about that. But just go out and meet somebody this weekend. That's what you need to do. This is Fat Pile Friday. This is my helpful hint for you this weekend. Just go out. If you're looking for a date, just go out and meet someone. Right.

Put yourself out there a little bit. Instead of swiping right or swiping left, walk forward and put yourself out there. Right. Fair enough. Or just you can also just do it to where you meet someone and then find them on Tinder. Right? Yeah. There you go.

I like that. Or maybe you could just, I don't know, stay home. Bidge Netflix and Disney Play. us. All right, we've got the fat piles who start digging through here today, a little fat pile Friday. But first I wanted to congratulate the Queen.

I'm not going to get into Royal News. Nothing with the Windsor Whisperer. I tried to contact him earlier today, and he's tied up, a little busy. But I did want to congratulate the Queen earlier this week. She celebrated 72 years of marriage. 72 years of marriage.

I mean, you talk about a dating app. I mean, holy God. congratulations. I mean, that's, you know anybody else has been married 72 years? Wow, that's a long... I've been married 40 or 50 years,

something like that. Depends who you ask? It depends on who you ask, and that's not just the same person. But does this count still? Does it count? Yes, it counts. I feel like it counts.

I feel like it comes. All right. Where are we at? Revolting passenger puts feet on airline head rights. This, okay. This story's been in my fat pile for about a week and a half now, something like that about the passenger that puts the feet up on the headrest in an airplane. And there's a picture of it.

And we're seeing more and more of this happening. And I think now we're starting to see more and more of this happening because more and more of it is happening. Social media. Yeah, social media is creating it. So you've got to come up. We've got to come up with something that, you know, everybody has. has to carry like a bobby pin or something and just poke the feet. They just tickle them.

Just poke the bottom of their foot. Although some people are ticklish. Plus, I don't like to mess with people's feet. Maybe you carry rubber gloves that a mess room. I don't have touched their nasty feet. Are those TSA approved? Yes. Yes, they are.

But I feel like you've got to do something, you know? Like, I don't know, maybe everybody carry a kazoo or something with them. What are you carrying? What do you mean? What is it with you in carrying stuff? Well, I'm just saying something that we have to pull out of our pocket, right? So they put your feet up next to you. No, we're not going to carry anything else.

We're not allowed to carry anything in TSA. It's like the 3-1-1 rule. What is the 3-1-1 rule? Three ounces and one of each? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, from TSA. Yeah, because I don't, oh, I don't even start with me on the stuff you can't bring through TSA anymore. What do you got? You got alcoholic beverages over 140 proof.

alcoholic beverages in excess of five liters per individual. Canned food. Who doesn't travel with canned food? I always travel with my can tuna. I always wrote can't tuna. I like to bring cream corn. Oh, really? Oh my gosh.

I do not go anywhere with a green giant cream corn. Sure. Olive oil. How am I supposed to cook in the plane? Yogurt. What am I supposed to eat? Well, wait. Fresh food or vegetables.

Come on. If I'm coming from Puerto Rico, that's all we have. Phil, this is a racist list to those Puerto Ricans. Fresh meat or seafood. You always bring back a steak or a fish back home. Jeffrey, I always bring my calamari's. Peanut butter. I always, I mean, you always bring a bottle of jiff, a can of jiff,

you know, just bring, just to have it with the peanut butt with the tuna fish. Because nothing is better than tuna fish and peanut butter. Come on, man. Jelly. Your peanut butter and jelly. Thank you. Pina butter and jelly and a cream cheese. You put a little peanut butter, a little peanut butter.

A little jelly. cream cheese and tuna fish on a sandwich. Tell me that's not a good sandwich. And maybe if you've got fresh seafood, you're looking. Some shrimps? You put some shrimps in there? And the olive oil is to make it nice and, you know, tasty. How do you bring in this stuff on a plane with you for?

People are so dumb. I bet you there's a bunch of foreigners from an island. People are so dumb. Now, some of that stuff you can put on carry on, I mean on underneath. You can put it in package. Check bag. Yeah, because I travel, a lot of my big beliefs, no checking. I am not a fan of checking.

Sometimes it's, you have to, I know. But the standing afterwards is so stupid. You, Aubrey's standing there like an idiot, waiting for the backs who dropped. And God forbid you grab the wrong bag by mistake. Because then here comes TSA police department. Sir, you grab the wrong bag. That's my bag.

That's my bag. Pretty soon you got a bag fight going on. Well, not just that. They won't allow you to give the bad back to the person because now we're going to do the investigation. Why did you grab that bag? So we have to make sure to open that bag because now you touch that bag.

We don't know what you put in it. Oh, I've never seen that. It may have. That makes sense, but I've never seen that. Where I grabbed the wrong bag. Wow. So you grab the wrong bag. You just put it back on the conveyorbell.

Oh, no, you can't do that. No, that's not the right one. You put it back on the cabaret belt. What do you mean you can't do that? According to the MCO, Orlando Police Department at the airport. port you charge that bag that bag that bag is not yours you try to put it back um what he trying to do i'm trying to get my bag which i thought that was and it wasn't so they had to open the back to

michette didn't put anything in there oh shut up it was stupid as hell and that person never grabbed their bag either so i would be i would be in jail i'd be in jail because i couldn't i couldn't I couldn't do that. I couldn't go through that without telling them they were stupid. And then they put me in jail. Seriously, there's no kidding. Hopefully my wife would be there or another friend would be there telling me to stop. Interestingly, it went from your wife to your friend.

Well, I traveled once. I was not there. I was not really like with you Chris. Another friend, I said, another friend. Because I was traveling once with another friend. and we were at Tampa International and we were waiting to go through TSA and this family was in front of us

and I know I've told the story before but this family was in front of us mom, dad, son, daughter, okay? And they're traveling. We're waiting in the line at TSA. And the mother goes through and then they want to have the daughter go through and the daughter starts freaking out a little bit

like she doesn't want, you know, she's kind of scared and doesn't know what's going on. So the mother wants to go back through and take care of the daughter. No, we can't do that. And so the dad is trying to help her. No, sir, you can't help your dog.

And I'm thinking, it's a family. At the same time. At the same time. Mohammed Atta, Jr. is going through the other line. Nobody questioning him. Just right on through. Beep, beep, beam.

Just go on through. Who was going through? Muhammad Atta Jr. And if you don't know who Muhammad Atta is, look it up. Okay? And I'm like, and I took a two steps forward. to say something to the TSA. Like, are you guys kidding me?

We want to get through the line here. This guy that's a family. Let this kid go through help with the parents. And my friend pulls me back. He says, dude, we want to get to L.A. Shut the hell up. And so I did. And then another time with my wife, remember, in Arizona, in Phoenix,

when I was ready to completely go off. And if it wasn't for her, I would have been in jail. No question. With that flight attendant, stewardess, door watcher, floor cleaner, whatever the hell she was, close that door in my face, I was ready to go off. And then my wife caught me down there. We went over and the lady said, okay, is there anything?

How can I help you? Is there a problem? Yeah, there's a problem. And my wife is, I got it. I got it. Because I can't. So if I was messing with, if I picked up the wrong piece of luggage, by my accident, it's definitely doable.

Definitely. people can do it all the time and it wouldn't I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all it can happen you're there this luggage is going by and you're like oh that's mine oh no it's not and you put it back in there if I were if that were to be stopped and create a thing like it did for you I'd be in jail there's no question

just excuse me Mr. Fisher yeah that's me you're under arrest download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts We can continue on to a fat pile Friday. I'm sorry, I took a little detour on the TSA, but I've got a stack of fat, stack of fat,

going on on Fat Pile Friday here. Is there a countdown? There is a countdown. This is not a countdown. There's just a stack of fat that's going on. Mesa police, Mesa police, MESA police, five-year-old boy calls 911 to order a kid's meal. Can we stop with this?

Because I don't even have to read the story. Since we have a headline, I know this is going to tell me that the police officer bought the kid food and then went and explained to him that you can't do that. And the 911 is for something else. And he took pictures with the kid. Can we step? Please parents, train your kids just a little. Just train your kids just a little.

Americans taking up freelance work at an increasing rate. That is the work that's going around the country, my friends. I don't know why that's such a big deal. People are doing that, working for themselves. That's how people are making money now. freelance work. That's called I Drive for Uber. Social media may not make teens depressed after all.

Duh. Boost Mobile employee in Fairhill stops armed robbery, traps suspect inside store. Good for him. The employee says the man pulled the gun and demanded money. He told him I had to go outside to get the money. These criminals are so dumb. some of them. Can you wait a few minutes?

He says, yeah, go ahead. So he goes out, locks the door, locks him inside, calls the police. Apparently the criminal opened fire from inside the store too, through the glass door. That's a little dangerous. The police are like, yeah, I mean, get down. You got the criminal inside. The police are like, well,

you know, the store employee was very, very lucky. There were no customers at the time. There was only ones. Well, that's why he did it. Duh. I mean, how about thank you, store employee, appreciate it. Bangkok restaurant dares you to eat this 13-pound burger in nine minutes. I'm in.

I can't do it. I can eat the 13-pound burger. Don't look at me like that. I was going to say, well, are you too good for the 13-pound burger? I can eat the 13-pound burger, just not in the nine minutes. I'm like the Kenyan of food eaters. I've said that before. I'm in for the distance.

Oh, okay. I got it. Kenyons in the Olympics run for distance. I'm not the speed. Okay. I'm not the speed guy. So I'm going to take you to eat that 13 pounds. I don't know.

I don't know. Like, can I give you 30 minutes? Yeah, I could probably do it 30. Can I give you 20? But I'm not the speed eater. I'm not a speed eater. I don't like the speed eater. I don't like the speed eater.

I'm trying to work this out. I can't give you a time. I don't want a time. I just want to be able to eat it. Like for what? Savoring the stupid burger? It's 13 pounds of beef, my friend. How many cows is that?

Can you translate that to cows? Yes, yes, it's four cows. Oh, that's a lot of cows. It's 82 bucks. Are you kidding me? For a 13-pound? I guess that's about right. It's probably right.

So if I eat it in nine minutes, I get it free. All right, go ahead. I'm giving it a shot. Patty covered in fried onion rings by sea. Plus, it's nasty. It's got, you got the 13 pounds of beef. you got fried onion rings which is okay and you got the bacon which is okay

and mayonnaise nasty oh no not the mayonnaise nasty is there ketchup on that manes or just mayonnaise it's mayonnaise yeah but it's there ketchup with a mayonnaise we're done it's mayonnaise

it's mayonnaise it's mayonnaise okay fine if it's mayonnaise it's not ketchup yeah but can I have it's called magic ketchup That's nasty in itself. It is not nasty.

You better shut your mouth. You better shut your mouth. Nasty. Agonizing. You want to put ketchup on it fine. Nothing else. No other boozy sauce. Nasty.

They've already jinxed you with the mayo on the 13-pound burger. Isn't to add a little bit of ketchup and you're going to end up. You're going to end up paying instead of getting it for free. Up nine minutes. Ding, ding, ding.

8275, please. Thank you. Whoa. I know. I know. U.S. Senator Ward's TikTok app poses National Security Rest. Okay. Be careful.

By the way, TikTok has downloaded. Don't post your, don't post your little dancing videos. By the way, it is on the record that is the fastest downloaded app. Yeah. One billion subscribers. Huge.

Huge. Dude. There's not a... The Chinese are in. There's not a kid. Right. And you're taking pictures. My son has one.

Now, it's under my name, you know, real criss-cruis. You want to follow me on TikTok ad. That's real Chris. But he loves creating videos, and it's such a great app. It's such a great app. You can buy a robot clone for anyone from this Russian startup. Okay.

I'd about one from you. It looks just like you. I am in love with this. The company's RoboC has a neck and torso that each have three degrees of freedom of movement. Can't walk, which is kind of good. 18 moving parts. we're a cable of removing a barrier in human machine interaction. You can get it eight hours of battery life.

Imagine a replica of Michael Jordan by William Shakespeare. No, these are the people I would not want as a robot. I'm thinking of maybe Harry Connick Jr.'s wife, Elle McPherson. You know, just off the top of my head. Just, you know, I'm thinking of, you know, getting another robot, let's say of my wife. Angelina Julie.

See. I'm sorry? Angelina Julie. I don't know who Angelina Julie is. There's an Angelina Jolie that's a star. Why you have to be so racist about my accent. It's Fat Pop Friday. We're recording this. I'm just telling you, I didn't know who Angelina Julie was.

It's the same person that you're thinking of. The one that was Mrs. Smith. And so that's Angelina Jolie. Now maybe was Julie her stunt double in the movie? Yes. Yes, her stunt double, Jeff Fisher. God. Oh, Mr. I love Disney Plus and is a Disney Plus world now.

Simpsons infamous Michael Jackson episode. Oh, we don't have that on. They don't have the Michael Jackson episode. Oh, somebody smokes in an episode. Pull that. Oh, can't have that. Like I said. Somebody said a swear word.

Oh, can't have that. Everybody's going after American heroes. Michael Jackson. And I forgot the list that I said. Harvey Weinstein. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Bill Cosby.

Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. Don't put Frank Sinatra in that list. Well, according to your boy, Harris, he's already on the list. Harry's trying to bring down. I know with the story like that. I think he's trying to be funny. I think like I said, I think he was trying to be funny.

That's, because the article was even said, in the Me Too World. These already, don't be bringing Frank Sinatra into the Me Too world. Those guys were before. And they're, if they want to kiss somebody, they're going to kiss somebody. Anybody is Frank Sinatra. I don't care, man. Woman sold medical excuses for students.

This is a genius idea. All right? She wasn't charging enough. This lady, Louisiana woman, who worked at a medical clinic, was arrested for selling fake doctor's notes to high school students. Brilliant idea. The 52-year-old lady was charged with filing or maintaining false public records.

Now, she was selling medical excuses for $20 each. $20? If you're in high school and you need a medical excuse to get out of school, that's at least $50. $20 is cheap. Cheap. And she only did it like 14 times.

I mean, that's what $300? It's a big deal. She could make a lot more money doing that. But apparently she wasn't there when they called the doctor's office and said, hey, what about these absentee notes that you've been writing? These kids all coming to see you. And he told deputies that I didn't authorize these excuses. It wasn't me. I don't know what you're talking about.

And the rest is history. I know. Now the rest is history. So if you're going to be selling excuses like that, at least get some cash, because you know you're going to get arrested sooner or later. You're going to want to make some cash, right? You're going to have to make some cash.

All right. We wrapped up already, and I still got the stack of fat. All right, don't forget. I told you to subscribe to chewing the fat. That's all you have to do. I'm not asking much. All right, this weekend. You're sitting around.

You realize, you know, I've been a freeloader all this time. I need to be a freeloader and a subscriber. Go to the blaze.com slash podcast. Click on chewing the fat, and then it'll show you. You can subscribe to any platform wherever podcasts are sold. Wait, free podcasts are sold? Yes, they are. At the blaze.com slash podcast.

Thank you.