Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 258 | Fat Pile Friday on a Wednesday
Episode Date: November 27, 2019Yes it's Wednesday, but it's our Friday and we give you headlines so that you are informed for this years thanksgiving dinner. Is Lowes trying to open a fashion line? Weather is going to be a little c...razy this week and the Macy's Parade could be an issue. The ER is going to be full due to Thanksgiving injuries and Jeffy decided to share a story about loosing fingers due to a fence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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And now a Blaze Media podcast.
Welcome to it.
Two in the Fat with Jeff Fisher.
As you know, I am fashion.
No question about it.
But I must apologize because I saw a story that talks about a product made from or made by the fashion company Lowe.
Wait.
L-O-E-W-E.
Oh, okay, okay.
like Lowe's.
Oh, well, it's funny you say that because when I first saw it, I thought, well, A, they
spelled it wrong.
It's L-O-W-E.
And why is the, why is the home improvement company?
Lunching a fashion line.
It really ticked me off.
Because I thought, hello.
What the heck?
I mean, if Lowe's is going to launch a fashion line, Moos by Jeffie should be, absolutely,
hanging at Lowe's, right?
Definitely.
But, so it's not.
It's a fashion company.
And I, I apologize.
This is a fashion company, a Spanish luxury fashion house based in Madrid, owned by the LBMH group, created in Spain in 1846.
I think they beat you to the whole movie by Jeffie.
No, well, they don't have boos.
However, the fashion brand did launch a $950 jacket.
Oh, nice.
It's a striped shirt and pants combo in the brand's will you.
de Morgan capsule collection.
And when you first see it,
you think to yourself...
Show me, show me, show me first.
Show the people in the...
All right.
They're watching through it up right there.
Think about it.
When you first see that, what do you think of?
Prison jacket.
It does look like a prison jacket.
That could be because it's in black and white.
But it also looks like
what you saw the Jews wear in prison camps.
and it's not really a good idea to create things like that.
So where you tell me that they created, they did this on purpose?
Or they just didn't know?
I didn't know.
When you showed me, I thought of like a prison, like, you know.
Don't admit that out loud.
Why not?
Don't admit that out loud.
Because.
It's not the first thing that came to my head.
It was the second thing that came to my head.
Oh.
After you pointed it out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
unbelievable.
Because when I clicked on the picture, I said,
oh, I would definitely wear this.
I looked like I was in prison.
They're up and down stripes.
It's thinning.
It's not the line stripes.
So I don't have to look so fat.
But then when I showed you,
you say, Chris, come on.
Chris.
Chris.
Come on.
Unbelievable.
You did not know history?
That's the little what you told me.
The stripe workwear jacket,
white black,
has a boxy workwear,
inspired jacket with pocket.
pockets crafted and durable canvas cotton.
Featuring low anagram and boss leather patch
on the breast panel.
Oh, hold on.
Now you started to...
The price tag only $950.
You too can look like a prison camp.
I mean, it's just unbelievable.
So they pull, but $950 for that.
They're getting $950 for a striped jacket?
What are we doing wrong?
No kidding.
Like, dude, can we can really launch Moos by Jeffie?
We have to.
Can that be that 2020 thing?
We have to.
2020, Moos by Jeffrey.
Can we put a stupid date out there?
At least to see if there is a want on the market.
Yes.
We put a splash page, Moos by Jeffie, sign up first 100 Mummoos, $10 off.
I like that.
I like it.
I like it.
We get with, uh, we get with, uh, watch your face.
Not with low, not with low.
We can't get with low.
I mean for the right price.
Eh, but the next thing I know we're, we, we, for the right price, the William
de Morgan collection can have moose by Jeffrey.
I'll tell you that right now.
Yeah, but then they're going to put it on the disc collection and there's going to be
mumoos for like consultation camps.
Like, that's, no, my stripes are to be thinner.
Oh, okay, thinner.
Oh, okay.
Thinner.
It's thinning, thinner stripes on the moon.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
That's the part of the Mumu collection.
Hey, and $10 off $950?
I mean, you're welcome.
I know.
Well, I give and I give and I give.
Actually, if it makes it better, we'll do 10% off.
If that makes you feel better.
First of all, why are we already offering money off of our product?
Okay.
It's selling for the first 100 customers.
No, I don't care.
First 100, you can be part of the Mubu circle.
Mumu's Funder Circle
Thank you
Yes
Thank you
Something
We don't have to give
any money off
I'm giving money away
Come on $10
That's the problem
That's why I'm in the shape
I'm in now
That's 10 bucks
It's only 10
It's only 10
Look at it
It's 20 now
Forget about it
Dad can I
That's only 10 bucks
God
That's only 20 bucks
Now I'm you know
Dad can I know
Because there is no more 10 bucks
Okay, the 10 bucks is gone.
History.
So, I go to the fat pile today.
It's Fat Pout Friday on Wednesday.
It can be sure.
Can be sure.
No, this is what we said on Monday,
so you have to go with it.
It can be sure.
Yeah, so Fat Pout Friday on Wednesday.
Absolutely can be.
The day before Thanksgiving, if you're listening live,
not possible.
It's pretty recorded.
Of November.
In this audio only.
But there's, no, we can't.
Oh yeah, it's after Thanksgiving.
After Thanksgiving.
Shoot.
Plus, you know, we're going to be watching everybody,
one of the things that my wife loves to do.
You may see Staparra.
Yeah, and it looks like maybe it's going to be too windy.
They're not going to be able to have the balloons up.
I say let them fly.
Absolutely.
Let them fly.
Bag those things off the windows.
Oh, there goes Snoopy off the Chrysler building.
Pull it back in, rain in back in.
Why is it all this Snoopy?
I want to be.
the announcer for the Macy's Day Parade when we're seeing, oh man.
And there goes the kid.
The little kid is not letting go.
She should have let go 10 feet ago.
Let go.
But now he's not letting go.
Hopefully she's going to drop herself off on the roof there on 6th Avenue before she flies off into the, off into New Jersey.
Oh, she didn't let herself go.
She got some good upper arm strength right now.
She's been going for a while now.
I didn't think Spider-Man could fly that far.
But there he goes.
And we go to the helicopter.
Fantastic.
We go to the helicopter now and he's following it.
I want to...
Oh, and here we...
Over downtown Manhattan
of Times Square for the Macy's Day parade.
Apparently it's a little windy down there
and we've decided to...
We were just going to let the balloons fly
and we figured they'd just bounce back and forth off the buildings.
We hadn't anticipated them taking off and flying off.
That's exactly what they're.
they did. There goes Snoopy right now, flying off into the top. Oh, it just dinked into the top
of the Chrysler building. And the little girl holding on, boy, she's holding on strong. I didn't
think she'd hang on that long. There she goes. She's banging off the Chrysler building.
I think maybe if she gets down, if she comes this way, if it blows her back towards 6th Avenue
a little bit, maybe she could drop down on top of the building there off of Avenue.
the Americas.
Because, oh, oh, oh, it just did.
Oh, my gosh.
She's now flying across the river.
Man, we've got to try to hop into the river and be safe.
Because right now, it doesn't look like she's just hanging on for near life.
Well, you can.
You can get her attention.
You're, like, flying right next to her.
I can't announce.
I'm busy, right now.
We can't get too close.
We don't want the helicopter blades to chop up Snoopy.
Maybe that's what we should do is snap up Chupy and drop her on top of
of the building.
Okay, fly this thing over the explosion of Snoopy.
Let's see what happened.
I mean, I want to see that.
Tell me that the ratings are not going to go up.
The DVR is recording when that's happening.
I'll tell you that right now.
You know what the best thing right now is like when people are watching the Macy's
fray and listen to this podcast, they're all wishing.
One of those damn balloons just flies out with a little girl.
We're going to go down to the street now.
I didn't think my daughter would hold on to the rope.
and we were just doing it for fun,
and now we don't know where she is.
She was last seat flying over the river, the Hudson River,
the Hudson River, heading to Jersey.
Dude, the last two shows have been very dark for us.
I mean, I don't want anything to happen to the little girl.
I wanted to survive.
Yeah, but I do want to see a little girl flying across my TV.
Yes.
Being pulled by Snoopy blowing across New York.
I don't want NBC to send her chopper to follow it,
all the way around.
Yes.
Oh, man.
And then just fly around.
Oh, hey, look,
there's McGruff,
the crime dog in Central Park,
caught up in the trees.
I mean,
we got to see that.
Come on.
We have to.
That would be just too good.
Too, too good.
There's all kinds of stuff
in the fat pile.
I don't even care about the fat pile.
What is today's supposed to be
Fat Pile Friday on Wednesday?
Is it supposed to be?
It's a pile Friday on Wednesday.
Wednesday, Wednesday.
Wednesday.
I got nothing.
in here.
Dude.
Thanksgiving's secret to cooking a moist turkey.
Stop washing the thing.
No, they're talking about an actual turkey,
not what you're called.
Oh, okay.
Stop, because if you're, wait a minute,
maybe they'll let's read how to cook a moist turkey.
Thank you.
Four miles forward, a posted dish
of the best way to get the moistest bird possible.
First, no, I've never.
Keeping the breast moist does not require trickery.
Just common sense.
Cook the bird upside down for the first three quarters of the cooking time.
You may need a little help turning a large bird,
but just flip that bad boy over.
Then, moisten it.
No, she doesn't say moisten it.
That's me. I'm just saying poisoning.
That's Granny's
little secret.
Stop it.
That's so stupid.
Granny's a little secret
on cooking a moist bird.
Stop washing Thanksgiving turkey.
It could spread germs.
Duh.
Texas woman killed by feral hogs.
Why is this in the Thanksgiving
Fat Plyle Friday on Wednesday staff?
I figure you wanted to do it again.
We had so much fun.
We had so much fun.
Yeah.
She was attacked.
Do we do the story already?
Yeah, we did that sir yesterday.
It was killed by Farrell.
Are you sure?
Yes.
I was sure because it was a fun story, so I figured you wanted to do it again.
I mean, I'm just saying, feral hogs.
I mean, we had to stop the broadcast yesterday because I talked about feral hogging.
I talked about feral hogging.
Yeah, we can't do that.
You can't say that on the podcast.
Stop.
New study.
Oh, this is travel stuff.
Yeah, people start traveling today.
This is big, busy travel.
Yeah.
And the weather's bad, all in different parts of the country.
Good luck.
I mean, yes.
Are you traveling?
Oh, yes.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, yeah.
You go to Austin to see your son?
Oh, yes.
I feel like you're not.
Wait.
I'm going to sit at home.
No, I am going to sit home, but we have to go down because they're having the reveal.
Oh, my gosh.
Are you telling me that the Fisher family is having a gender reveal party?
The one thing that you hate the most?
Oh, what is it?
because I'm going.
Is this this weekend?
Oh, I'm already in Houston,
so I'm definitely going to swim by Austin.
I have nothing to do with it.
I have nothing to do with it.
Are we using a plane?
Are we using a balloon?
Nothing to do with it.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
All I know is that my wife is having another grandchild.
And you?
No, my wife is having another grandchild.
That grandchild is closer to you.
And would you stop saying that?
Because it's true.
He's pissing me off with that.
Because it's true.
The truth hurts stuff.
Seriously, stop saying that.
I'm not the one disowning my grandchild.
Stop saying that.
You know that this is forever.
So when your grandchild is older enough,
you'd be like, see, my grandfather disowned me.
I didn't.
Are you going to recognize this is your grandchild?
It's my wife's grandchild.
See, disowned.
Do you know how they're going to do it?
Have they said, tell you how they're going to do it?
Is it going to be a balloon?
That's going to be fun, though.
Yeah, it's going to be.
I can't wait.
Your face is going to be so good.
I can't wait.
All those millennials there.
It's going to be agonizing.
And the genderqueers over there.
Agonizing.
And the gender fluid is in Austin, right?
Yes.
Oh, so the binaries are going to be there, the non-binarys.
Yes.
Oh, this is going to be great.
And I'm being forced to go.
Being forced to go.
Well, this is not your grandchild, so you shouldn't be cool, right?
It's my wife's grandchild, so I got to play along.
Oh, you have to play along.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I need you to tell me who was the non-binary person who was a gender,
fluid who is the transgender. I mean, I'm sure it would be posted. Might as well look for it. Oh, true.
I'm sure we can't. We can't do a gender reveal party without posting it on social media.
So this should be posted on your social media? I think you should. Do you? I think so.
Do you? Yes. I want to see your pain through those.
Not excitement, you mean. No, your pain. I can see it already. Oh, I can't. And it's like,
what is it? Oh. This weekend. So like Wednesday,
Thursday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Four days out.
Oof, baby.
And you say you don't drink?
I know.
And you don't smoke.
Oh, my, Jeff.
I know.
Thank you.
You can't go.
Your heart.
At the last.
Your heart.
This is going to just.
I can't take the excitement.
You can't take the excitement.
That's a good idea.
But here's a problem.
You can't take the excitement because it's a grandchild of yours.
So you have to admit that it's your grandchild.
You don't want to get so excited.
I'm admitting that it's my wife's grandchild, that I'm excited for her.
And then your car's going to close.
I'm excited for my wife's grandchild.
Yeah, but it's not the same, though.
I'm like, yeah, stop blonde.
You're just faking it.
But if you say that's my grandchild, I'm so excited.
I'm going to have another one.
Dead.
I mean, my wife won't want to hear this, but it may be worth it.
Absolutely.
Doctor's note.
Can you get a doctor's note?
Maybe we'll call the lady we talked to about her last week.
She's selling doctor's notes.
doctor's notes for 20 bucks a pop come on jeffy that's worth 20 bucks absolutely you're saving gas 20 bucks in gas
takes you like that's like what well they're still gonna go it's not so i'm still still still still still
it's less headache yes and you can watch a football game thank you yeah would you be able to watch the
football game because we have more on trivia like on sunday well actually we have more on trivia
oh okay okay so the reveal party is sunday oh well see on me
to get more intradian on Sundays.
So we're doing more on trivia tomorrow.
We're doing tomorrow and we're doing tomorrow and trivia
Wednesday today on Pat
for Thanksgiving.
Oh, I didn't know that. See, that's one of the rules I didn't know.
Thanksgiving, they have games.
Oh, they have games. I didn't know that.
That was just about the Macy's Perret.
Do you not?
No.
You can't.
No. It's.
Yeah.
But it's part of.
No, absolutely not.
Part of.
It's part of your guys is America.
It's part of this American saying,
no, it is Jeff Fisher.
shirt is not. The parade.
The dog show.
Yes. Yes.
Football. No. See, that's what you had to me.
Parade. Yes. The dog show.
Yes. Football.
Because that's when the turkey's settling in and you're out.
Parade. Yes.
Dog show. Absolutely.
Football.
You're sleeping already.
Gotta be careful too, man.
Thanksgiving according to this story.
Oh no.
tends to be one of the busiest days of the year in emergency rooms.
Oh, no.
I don't know if that will read this.
We'll find out why because I was thinking what,
you get a turkey bone stuck in your throat.
No, the friars.
People always.
I'm going to fry this thing.
Hold on.
Put their cooking skills to the test between deep frying turkeys and sizzling hot oil
and carving birds with large knives.
Oh, no.
See, that brings back.
One of my favorite television commercials now is the Martha Stewart commercial
where the guy is cutting up very.
vegetables with Martha Stewart and he cuts his finger off.
Ah, and he screams and then he starts hollering around.
He falls out of his apartment window and Martha Stewart's on the TV and she looks, I'm sure he's
fine.
That's funny.
That's funny.
It's for her food delivery company that she hawks for.
Okay.
It's really funny commercial.
But not funny on Thanksgiving when you're cutting fingers off.
Absolutely not.
That's like $100 a finger.
I mean, when grandma's in there, ah!
Did you cut off the finger?
No.
No.
My son cut four of them almost completely off, though.
Elvis did.
Why was he doing?
He had his hands up on top of a...
I never told you that story?
Was it on the door?
It was on the fence.
Oh, no.
On the gate at the radio station
at Gandy Boulevard in Tampa, Florida.
He was out riding his skateboard
and he was riding...
We had a big power fence, you know,
that opened for the back
where we parked company vehicles.
Oh,
This is at your house.
I'm like, you bougie.
No, I mean, people who counted parked back there,
so we didn't have to deal with the unwashed masses.
Oh, okay, okay, got it.
We were able to park at the back.
But it had, you know, so it opened, right?
He's got the big chain, it open, and he's riding it.
And he's hopping on and riding it as opens and closes.
Every kid does that.
Right.
Yeah.
But he gets his foot caught.
Oh, no.
He's trying to, you know, he just wants to jump off, and his foot's caught in the fence, you know.
So he puts his hand up on the top bar.
No, no, no.
No.
And his hand goes through the giant metal thing.
Dude.
The only thing that saves him is he pulls his hand out.
If he would have continued it on,
it would have been cut completely off.
So he was able to pull it off.
So he pulls him out and they're hanging by the thrift.
Dude, no.
Now, I'm getting ready to go on the air.
Stu's on the air.
You can't go on the air?
It was the day that the guy flew his plane
into the building in Tampa.
And so we're doing special live coverage.
I'm getting ready. They called me in.
I'm getting ready to do a live show, which is why we were all there.
Because we're all at the house.
Come on. I'm going to go on the air.
Let's go to the station.
And so he's out back riding the fence.
And a guy comes against me and says, dude, your son's in the bathroom, something's wrong.
I'm sorry?
So I go in the bathroom.
Hold on. What do he tell you again?
Dude, your son fell or something.
He's in the bathroom screaming.
Something's wrong.
That's not enough information, I feel.
So I go to the bathroom.
He's in there completely freaking out.
Blood is everywhere.
Of course.
Blood is everywhere.
His fingers are hanging off.
I,
right now I'm already,
I'm starting to feel sick and freaking out again.
I can tell.
So,
I mean,
I wrap his fingers up.
Dude.
We come down the hallway and I'm like,
and Stu's on the air,
Don Richards,
who has passed away.
Now bless this old news guy at WFLA,
is in the,
newsroom and I'm like you're going to have to go on the air for me I got to go to the hospital
and we take them to the ER okay so we get to the ER and we're waiting there this is where
you learn where I learned never go into the ER always take an ambulance to go in through the
front absolutely yes yes you go into going through an ambulance you get first cause you do because
we're at the ER and have a seat and and I'm like his fingers are almost oh we have a gunshot wound
coming in I don't give up
Okay, got it.
About this gunshot.
Well, I don't care of that kid die.
Hey, Jeffrey.
Well, okay, I do.
There you go.
I care about my son's fingers.
Of course.
Son comes first.
So we finally get in, and he went through months of rehab.
They pinned them all.
How old was he?
They brought him, they stuck them back on.
We had a great orthopedic surgeon for fingers come in.
He had pinned stuck in.
Orthopedics?
Isn't that the mouth?
No.
Okay.
Stop talking.
and they pinned them all
and he had giant pins sticking out of his fingers for a long time
he's lucky to have his fingers
he's lucky he freaking play football
yeah it's your football use your hands right
they pulled the pins out he had to stick his hands in rice every day
and work them out and get the strength by rice
because it was just using the muscles
and we had a bucket of rice forever in the garage
and he would just stick his hand to exercise the muscles
yeah how old was he 10?
10, 12?
Yeah, something like 13, maybe something like that.
Dude, that's crazy.
And so one finger is still screwed up.
It grew back kind of crooked.
You know how it grew up?
Boy, he's a fisher.
Hold on.
He's a fisher.
He has to have something wrong with him.
And the doc says, well, we can go in and fix it.
I'm fine.
No, yeah.
Not fine.
You need to leave.
Yes.
Yes.
And so then at one point, he,
the other hand, when he was playing football the next couple years,
he laid the three fingers back.
on his hand. Oh, that's normal. Yeah.
Yeah. That's normal. You fingers and
do that? You fingers don't do that? No, they're
not supposed to do that. So he had that all fixed for a while after
that was after these were deep pinned.
I mean, there's plenty. I mean, it's
amazing. I should have.
There was no sign on the gate.
Sue. Clear Channel Radio should owe me big money.
And I didn't sue. I should have. Honestly, I should
have. Yeah. Was there no
guard at the gate? No. No.
Kind of freaking establish him.
You know, right? I mean, that...
You had like the law, the literally the...
I will say there was a sign.
Had blessed you with a big suit.
And I let it go.
You did?
And after that, they put a sign up and everything.
Of course they did.
I know.
They were ready for the lawsuit.
So aggravated.
I know.
What's the statutory on this?
I don't know.
I think we're past it.
Are we?
Yeah.
Okay.
Disappointingly we're past.
I'd give it a shot.
You can.
But, your clear channel, I'm out for you.
You owe me.
You owe me huge.
But, I mean, yeah, it was bad.
Oh, wow.
It was bad.
I mean, to this day, I will never forget what it looked like walking into the bathroom.
None of the fingers fell off, though.
They were just hanging.
Hanging.
I mean, he was holding them by just mere threads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But had he, but it's because he pulled his hand out.
Because if you let it go all the way, fingers were gone.
Completely off.
And there goes to a buff career.
Dude.
Well, I mean,
he might have been able
to sew them back on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you just put him on ice.
I would see that on TV.
Right.
They would say put him on ice.
But, I mean,
there was blood all
in the building
everywhere.
I kind of disappointed
at this coworker of yours.
Hey,
there's something wrong with your kid.
He's in the bathroom holler.
Go check him out.
Do you have a cigarette
to his mouth?
Yeah.
He has something's wrong.
I don't know.
It's right.
You can tolerate
in the bathroom.
I went to get a cigarette.
I hear this kid crying.
I don't know what's
to clean up that blood
everywhere too.
I mean, that's your kid because you're the only one that brings freaking little kids to work.
And then I find out that his wallet dropped, had a bunch of money in it.
But that got turned back into me.
Of course it did.
That was nice of because that saved the lawsuit right there.
If I had to look for the wallet, then we'd just suit them for that.
I mean, holy cow.
Why did I bring that up?
Oh, yeah, Thanksgiving tributt.
If you ever cut your fingers off.
Drinking injuries, heart scares.
Have fun this Thanksgiving.
Okay, tomorrow, just be careful with yourself out there.
Don't hurt yourself.
Okay, just don't do it.
Are you going out for Black Friday?
No.
Is your wife going up for Black Friday?
I have a wife that shops.
I don't.
I don't shop.
I know she does not go out for Black Friday.
Oh, she doesn't?
I figured she would.
There's a little thing called the Internet.
That's Cyber Monday.
And there's a little thing that throughout the year called the Internet.
And there's another company called Amazon.
And they have a hub here in the DFW area.
No way.
Yeah, they do.
And so when you want something, let's say,
oh, you know what, I think I want this product,
it's at the door.
It bounces too.
It does.
Because it was a FedEx driver that dropped it off.
He's trying to kill my dog.
He's trying to kill my dog.
Through this hole, it's just connecting air.
Everything ties in together.
It does.
It does.
is what you need to subscribe.
Thank you.
Because you need to get the inside jokes.
Thank you.
And if you haven't subscribed, I mean, if you have subscribe, I'm not listening to the past shows,
there's still time.
So you could get all the inside jokes.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Be a part of it.
Subscribe.
I noticed that.
I noticed that for the last two weeks.
We keep referencing old jokes.
Tie it in.
Yeah.
Everything gets tied in.
It's one big happy family.
It all gets tied in.
But you can't get feral hugged.
I don't understand that rule, but apparently that's a new rule.
Hello and welcome.
Happy holidays, merry Christmas Eve.
I hope you're having a great holiday with your family.
I wanted to post a little something on Christmas Eve just to say hello and give you two of my favorite things on this day.
One is one of my favorite stories of all time.
It's from a book called Chicken Poop for the Soul
And it's by David Fisher
No relation that I know of
And it's titled Chicken Poop for the Soul
Stories to Harden the Heart and Dampen the Spirit
You know, it's a good parody on a chicken soup for the soul series that was out
And then I wanted to play one of my favorite songs of all time
I listened to it all year long
But it is really a Christmas song
and it is from the Believe Again CD that Glenn Beck put together a few years ago.
And you can still get it at glenbeck.com slash believe again.
This is the story from David Fisher's book written by Robert Simon.
It's called Table Manners.
and while some may find it funny,
it really is a story about working together
and what happens when you think you don't need each other?
Table matters.
There once was a time when the fork was king of the table.
Proud and alone, the fork ruled his domain.
And there was peace and harmony on the tabletop.
Everything was fine.
until the night that soup was served.
The fork could not lift the soup.
He tried and tried, but there was nothing he could do.
Each time he dipped into the soup, it dribbled through his long, thin tines.
Finally, the spoon, the fork's oldest enemy came along.
I can lift the soup, said the spoon.
Reluctantly, the fork accepted the assistance of the spoon.
Together, the fork realized that they could be even more powerful, working as a team.
It seemed as if there was nothing they could not accomplish.
And once again, everything on the tabletop was peaceful, until the night that meat was served.
The fork and the spoon worked together, but as hard as they tried, they could not cut the meat.
Finally, the knife, the enemy of both the fork and the spoon, came along.
I can cut the meat, said the knife.
Reluctantly, the fork and the spoon accepted the assistance of the knife.
The knife cut the meat, the fork, the spoon, and the knife were all powerful.
Working as a team, there was truly nothing they could not accomplish.
And so, for a time,
Peace and harmony reigned on the tabletop, for it was true.
Working together, the fork and the spoon and the knife were able to accomplish all that was demanded of them.
But then one dark night, lemon meringue pie was served.
The knife said quickly, I can cut it.
The spoon said pleasantly, and I can pick it up.
But the fork said, I can cut and pick it up.
So once again there was distrust on the tabletop.
And while the spoon was busily occupied picking up the lemon meringue pie, the fork whispered to the knife,
You know, we don't really need the spoon.
And if we get rid of him, there'll be more for us.
So while the spoon's handle was turned, the fork and the knife pushed him off the table.
For a time, there was an uneasy piece on the tabletop.
Then one day a big piece of the table.
chocolate cake was served.
Chocolate cake was the fork's favorite dessert.
The fork cut into the cake and picked it up, it was delicious.
And as the fork cut another piece, he realized he didn't need the knife anymore.
So that night, when the knife had his blade turned, the fork pushed him off the table.
Once again, the fork was king of the table.
and there was peace and happiness.
Until the very next night,
when once again,
soup was served.
One of my favorite songs of all time,
most grateful here at Christmas,
David Osmond and Clyde Bowden,
from Glenn Beck's Believe Again album,
Oh, come, all ye faithful.
Oh, be faithful and try,
Oh, come me
Oh, me to bed
Oh,
Pazaw
Peace.
