Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 28 | A How To Guidebook on Defending a Kingpin

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

Jeffy talks El Chapo case and President Duterte jailing journalist in the Philippines. Did you know Jeffy loves Coca Cola Zero Sugar.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Congratulations to the Wire Fox Terrier who won the Westminster again. King was the 15th of his breed to be crowned. He was crowned best in show at New York's annual Westminster Dog Show. You know, he beat out five other finalists from a field of more than 3,000 dogs. I don't know. You know, I usually watch this and I missed the championship last night, so I want to apologize. I've got it on DVR, though. We'll go back and watch Kings winning the New York's annual Westminster Dog Show.

However, we do have his post dog show comments. When asked how he felt about winning the Westminster Dog Show in New York this year, he pretty much said what you'd expect, then he asked him how he felt about the other contestants. specifically the finalist this year. He didn't like them very much. But he was happy to be in New York and he was ready to hit up on the road again

to make some appearances. So congratulations to King. Okay, I don't need any more from you, King. You're fine. Guy wins a... Doug wins a prize. He thinks he can just bark over everybody. You know, first it was the emojis.

And, you know, they come up with the emojis of that time of the month for the females and the, the handicapable emojis and the loss of hearing emojis and the white cane blind people emojis. And we've got emojis covering everybody. We've got emojis on top of emojis on top of emojis. If you are a human being who's lost a finger from a. an evil saw a saw accident 50 years ago, you got an emoji for yourself. But now, now, not only do we have

Barbie dolls that are you know, overweight, plump. Bat. I mean, the overweight barbies. The barbys that are plus size. We now have new barbys that will be

batter. That's not funny. That's not funny. All right. These Barbie dolls are going to be featured in wheelchairs. Oh, they're handicapped. There's pictures of got one with prosthetic limbs. Now, they realize that some girls just pull the legs off of these things anyway, right?

They realize that they tear the arms off, tear the, you know, poke the eyes out, do all. You know, come on now. But at least I don't understand. They're just dolls. They're just dolls. A little girl playing with a little dow, she knows. I just, I don't understand. I don't understand.

All right, so there's no big ad campaign for the wheelchair Barbie. Isn't that kind of like racist or something? Or the prosthetic leg Barbie. That's racist. But this is part of the, why, racist? What do you say when you're bad to the handicapped people? You say racist when you're racist. What do you call that people?

Bigots? I mean, ignorant, stupid? Yeah, why. Ingrid and stupid, yes. Okay. I'm good with that. Okay. I'm well good with that, no problem.

But these are the made-to-move collection from Barbie. I thought they were on wheelchair. Made to move. And the prosthetic limb. They're made to move. Oh, they can still move? Now, Mattel worked with a team at UCLA to create the wheelchair. Are you kidding me?

Dear Mattel, Jeff Fisher here from chewing the fat. If you needed a hand to figure out, oops. Oh, yeah, sorry, I mean, if you, if you needed a hand, you should have just made one. but I mean if you can't figure out how to make a wheelchair for your Barbie doll Mattel you should be fired whoever did this for Mattel should be fired but they also have the Barbie with the prosthetic limb now we're in addition to working with the UCLA team they worked with a 12 year old Jordan Reeves who has a prosthetic arm and according they used Jordan to

help design the prosthetic limbs and they wanted the prosthetics to be removable so it was more realistic. Well, as I already said, kids been pulling arms and legs off those Barbie dolls forever. The good news now is they'll go back in. I mean, for years you'd pull them off and there they sat. Oh yeah, that's the one-legged Barbie. My sister pulled the leg out of that a year ago. The legs in the toy box too, but we just never play with that anymore.

I mean, okay. For people with certain types of disabilities, seeing Barbies who look like them can be a huge deal. Can it? Congratulations. You're great. Okay, so how do you upset people who hate you? You have a great life. You skip to Maloo, my darling, through your life.

Bill Cosby, in prison. Everybody happy. Bill got 10 years. He's guilty. And now what's the news coming out? He's having an amazing time behind bars. He still maintains, I did nothing wrong. The spokesperson, Andrew Wyatt, long-time aide, talked about Cosby and said,

Cosby's spirits remain high. The comedian enjoys talking to other inmates and encouraging them, despite the circumstances. This is an amazing experience. Mr. Cosby had prepared himself. He's mentally strong. He's just a strong man. He's lost weight.

He's not eating bread. He's not drinking coffee. The wife has tried to get him to stop drinking coffee for about 50 years. He finally gave it up. He took prison to give him to give up coffee. This is not the prison that El Chapo will be going to. El Chapo will not be going to this prison. Okay?

There's no question about that. Now, I want you, El Chapo's attorneys gave a press conference after the conviction yesterday. And it is amazing. And we're going to get to that because I am, their press conference is textbook drugpin attorney press conference. It was great. It really was. It was great. Now, if you go to college,

you want to talk about someone who's not having a good time, when you go to college, let's just say, let's just say you're, you know, 18, 19 years old, and you're going off to college, and you're thinking to yourself, well, I'll go off to college. I'm not going to be away from home.

I'm going to be around my parents, and I can, you know, maybe have a little college business. going on and talk a little business swipe right on the old phone app of Tinder find a little college love well the officials at Maryland college are advising students and faculty to be on the lookout for a woman in her 50s

she's been all over the campus because her son goes to college there and she's going all over the campus trying to find him a date go mom that is great if you're the son are you kind of like mom what do you do it I'm on my own Oh, no, I want her to do that.

Or do you say, yeah, or do you say, do you get anybody today? Any fish on the hook today, Mom? Mom, really? I'll tell you to go by the Alpha Kappa Kappa, Kappa. Not by the old Koppel, Kopa, Kopa. The Alpha Kappa Kappa, Bays. No, the girls in the Alpha Kappa Kappa Kappa are, they're ready to go. Yeah, they're like, go over there.

Don't go to the freaking over there. Go to those. In fact, to those girls, Alpha Kappa Kappa Kappa means Tinder. They're good. Now the campus place is what ticks me off, though, right? The campus police, they released a surveillance video. Oh, no. Inside the library, hoping somebody can identify her.

We all know who it is. Now, this is, we hope we want somebody to identify her. She's not committing any crimes. Then what are you doing? Then leave her alone. We know that all the students there know, hey, that's Billy's mom. Right. They wanted to stop bothering women on campus.

Shut up. Stop it. If she's not committing any crimes, back off. Plus, if you're Billy, Mom, I'm too, a cup, cup, cup, cup, another library. I'm swiping right, mom. Where you at, man?

You know, Billy doesn't want to go to Venezuela. Big stories, but, you know, what a wonderful time they're having in Venezuela anyway. Are they? People suffering and not eating and no money and, you know, things are bad. But there's a big story now with so many women, these women professionals

needing to feed their families are selling themselves. They're outhooking the streets for cash. And there was a big story showing them crying and how embarrassed they were. If they're that embarrassed, then they shouldn't be doing it. Thank you. I mean, I get it. I'm good with them doing it. If they feel that's what they need to do to provide for their family,

especially in this hellhole of Venezuela, bless their hearts. I want to, you know, go ahead. But if you are feeling guilty and feel like you should, shouldn't be doing it, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. And find a way to get out of the country. Find a way to leave. Or find a way to do something else. And just jump on the caravan and come north.

Right. It's just that easy. Just that easy. And if you want to be, if I hear somebody talk about how bad it is for journalists in the United States of America again, it could be fighting words. It's possible. So there's a Philippine journalist And love the Philippines right

Philippines have their leader What's his name again? President Rodrigo Roa Duterte Also known as Dingong and Rody That's what I call That's why I never could remember his name Because I used to dig dong

Hey dig dong I don't have a feeling If you called president Rodrigo Roa Duterte Ding-dong? You're dead. No one's calling him ding-dong. So Maria Ressa, chief executive of Rappler is accused of cyber libel. I hate being accused of that. Cyber libel, man.

Oh, man. But Darte just had her arrested. She was writing stuff against him saying, and how bad he was. And so President... Rodrigo Roa Duterte, also known as Degong and Rodi. He just put her in jail.

Oh, you're writing bad stories about me? I go to jail. I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen here. It certainly hasn't happened in this administration. I think so. I may have happened in the administration prior. Are you sure they didn't happen in President Trump? I'm not sure it had to happen.

Did Trump throw somebody in jail? Look at CNN. Did President Trump throw somebody in jail for a story against him? According to CNN, he's the worst president towards journalists. So something must have happened where he literally threw a person into jail. Let's send some reporters from CNN down to the Philippines or over to the Philippines wherever you're at and just have them wander around and start and just start. Hey, I want to have the reporters ask questions when president.

Rodrigo Roa Duterte, also known as Ding Gong and Rody. Stands up to the podium, but they say, excuse me, President Ding Dong. And just see what happens. Or they start writing bad things about President. Rodrigo Roa, Duterte, also known as Dingong and Rodi. And they just start writing bad things about... What happened to the CNN reporters? What happened to the other reporters?

What happened to that? No, he didn't kill her, though. put her in jail. He's, he wants to, he's killing the drug dealers. So take that bullet back. Thank you.

Yeah, no, he's not killing. He's not killing him. Yet. But he, drug dealers, if you have anything to do with drugs or drug dealers,

then he's killing you. And he's given the people. I mean, he's killed the people. Depatize the people. Do you drug dealers in your neighborhood? And that's what happens

they're a little slow in the neighborhood too. But the, but it takes a long time to reach charge and reload. But he's just, So we took the bullet back from shooting the reporters because he doesn't shoot him.

He just puts him in jail. You know what? I don't want to see him anymore. So off to jail they go. So I don't want to hear it anymore about how bad it is here. Do you president Trump not call on you, you little baby? Did President Trump not call on you for a question? Did he call you fake news?

Acosta. Oh, you know. Get your feelings heard, you little baby. Go down to the Philippines and see what happened. see what happens when you call President Rodrigo Roa Duterte also known as Ding Gong and Rody Hey President Ding Dong

Lock him up Gone have a nice day So speaking of, anyway Speaking of locking him up El Chapo found guilty And he's been found guilty And that's the big news, right? All 10 count

I told you before he was going to be found guilty It was an overwhelming avalanche of evidence That they had on them There was no way, I don't even know why we went to court We went to court That was a show. That's all that was. 200 hours.

He was already guilty. 200 hours. He was already guilty. It was just a show. And now he doesn't even get sentenced until June. Oh, are you kidding me? Come on. You know he's going to Supermax.

You know he's going there for life. Send him there. I hope he is. No, I better not say that out of love. It wouldn't surprise me. I don't hope for this to happen because it would be completely wrong. But it wouldn't surprise me if he were to disappear from the holding cell. that he's in now.

Like Alcatraz? Just disappear. Just one day, he's there the next day. Poof. What happened to El Poof? Chapo gone. And he escaped, that'd be his third time escaping from prison. Just poof.

Because we didn't put him in Supermax. We had to wait for June for sentencing. That's why he smiled yesterday. Say goodbye to his wife. He wasn't saying goodbye to his wife. saying see you in about a month. And remember the other seven billion I've got buried out in the hills?

There better be every stinking dime of that. Do you remember the hills that he was talking about? Oh, yeah, right there. The name? Right there in his neighborhood. It's where he lived. That's where he was hiding out. That's where they found him.

Yeah, yeah. Do you remember the name? I know. He's right there. In his home country of Mexico. That was his home country. He was in the hills. Yeah, I know.

I know the hills. I just wanted it. the name. Do you remember? No, I don't remember. Okay, then back off me. You're the expert. You're the expert. I mean, that's clear. But, so after the case yesterday, and I don't remember the stupid mountain names, but the, uh, uh, his attorneys. Now he's got one attorney, this, uh, Lickman, right? Jeffrey Lickman is his name? Oh, I got to bring up a stupid name. Yeah, Jeff Lickman. That's it. Jeff Lickman. Uh, and he had two other.

helpers. Two other attorneys, you know, that were, I'm sure that they were just helpers. They were called cartel helpers. Just keeping an eye on Jeff. He's help on. So he gives, it was 10 minutes. I don't know if we could make it through the 10 minutes of the press conference because it is amazing. Every question and answers, and some of the reporters, go to the Philippines, just stupid questions. But the, and so he answers them. But every answer, guy is a textbook. If you would like to work for any kingpin, any person who is in charge of any kind of cartelism, it's a new word, I just made that up.

You need to take notes from this 10-minute press conference. Does Jeff Lickman does it, he gave a class. He gave a class yesterday. You could see how utterly and completely overwhelming the amount of evidence was. So he's saving his job there. He's saying, look, hey, El Chapo, baby. Joaquin, what, he's got, you know, what's his name? Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman Loera.

Hey, you weren't even talking to the microphone. How are you? What's his name? Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman Loera. Seriously, you weren't talking to the microphone. I know people listening to the pipe. guys are going, well, sure he is. I just heard him. No, I'm looking at him. And he's not. He's actually got this pre-recorded now.

That's sad. Some people think it was smart. Is it sad? Or it's a genius? You ask me all the time and I forget it. I'm not walking down the genius road with you, but I'll take back sad, but I'm not going down the genius road. So, he's, Jet Lickman right there. He's already saying there was overwhelming evidence. It was ridiculous. The whole thing was ridiculous. That's why I only did, you know, I put out one witness and then we're done

because it was overwhelming and there was no way he was going to be found innocent. So he wants to make sure that... Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman Loera. That sounds exactly like the other one he did. That sounds all the same. was knows that there's nothing I could do, right? There's not, I told, I did, I did everything I could do for you, bro. I mean, El Chapo.

Go ahead. Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman Loera. I did everything I could for you. We obviously, I don't think anybody would doubt that we fought like hell. We fought like complete savages and left it all on the battlefield. Okay. Okay. We fought like savages and left it all in the battlefield.

And you got that, right? L. L. L. Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman, Loera. You got that, right? We fought like hell for you, bro. King Guzman. I mean, this is America, and no matter who the defendant is, you still have to fight for the death.

Right. No matter what people think, what society thinks, what the government thinks. We took that obligation incredibly seriously, and as I said, we left nothing. everything was left on the battlefield and it's been an absolute honor and a pleasure, an honor, and I mean that, to represent Joaquin Guzman.

Textbook. Textbook. I mean, we left it all out there. This is America. Everybody deserves their defense attorney. And we left everything on the battlefield. Let me tell you something else. It was an honor and a privilege to be the defense attorney for Joaquin Achivaldo

Guzman Loera I might even have to repeat that because it was an honor okay represent Joaquin Guzman as a defense lawyer you shouldn't be representing anyone and I would say that working with these two lawyers

we were thrown together in the most difficult of circumstances Bill Eduardo myself and you know we mesh somehow we figured it out we mesh together and these are two friends I'll have for life. Okay, another textbook. Okay, these two attorneys, the cartel friend attorneys that he was forced on,

we're friends for life, are you? Yes, we are because the El Chapo said to me, seriously, we work together, we mashed, we're buds, right? I know that, I know that Joaquin. Joaquin Achivaldo Guzman Loera I know El Chapo you know pushed him on me but I love him

I'm glad to have him here I love him I love him I'm good to be here appreciate all your coverage it's an important day I suppose in American history but the fight is not over

we'll continue to fight for Joachin Guzman as long as we can until our last breath we don't know when that last breath is going to happen look he was very clear to us he's a very upbeat guy And he was bringing our spirits up, which is surprising. Usually it's the other way around. We're consoling a client who's just been convicted.

But not this time. But not with the man. He'll spend the rest of his life. I was a positive guy. And he has always been positive with us. He's always tried to bring our spirits up. And look, we judge him differently than you judge him. We judge him differently than society judges.

One of the reasons is because he's paying us a ton of money. and we also judge the fact that at any moment he might kill us. I mean, at any moment, when he decides that, you know, I don't think you're doing a very good job on my case. El Chapo has a new attorney today. But we continue with the press conference after the guilty verdict came down yesterday. Then the government judges him. We judge him how he is with us.

Right. And the guy's always been a gentleman. He's always been supportive. He's always been happy. appreciative of all of our efforts, and that's how we leave. I love him. I love him. Of course he does.

Go to the Philippines. That's what the answer is to you. You need to start asking questions to the Philippines. No, we're just going to put him in jail. We don't kill the reporters in the Philippines. He just puts him in jail. El Chapo, he'd shoot. Darte, boom.

But, yeah, no. Ooh. El Chapo would probably take him. take over the Philippines, so if he goes to the Philippines. He doesn't want that nasty little country. I travel the world. I don't need you. But we love him.

And he's an upbeat guy. He keeps us going to love him. We're going to fight for him as long as he lets us live. Highly intelligent guy. Oh, yeah, that was. And then he asked what does he know what's in front of him? That was what started the whole thing. Of course he does he know what's in front of him.

Yes. Yes, he knows what's in front of him. He knows that he has to go to a, a jail cell that isn't Supermax yet until June he's got time to poof what he's facing and he knew the odds

I mean look this was a case that was literally literally an avalanche of evidence so much that we could barely wade through it in another language it was incredibly difficult to even get prepared for this trial we were obviously begging for more time

Not because we wanted to dot some eyes and cross some fees, but because we just wanted to be prepared. That being said, I've never faced the case with so many cooperating witnesses. I've never faced the case with so much evidence. And we did our best. And I'll hold my head high. I know these two guys will as well. I mean, they'll hold their head highs because they're watching me, those two guys. And it just wasn't enough today.

And that's just how it is as defense lawyers. You have to have a thick skin because you can't win them off. You do the best you can. You'd like to have a thick skin about this. in about the size of the day you want to be able to walk out of a courtroom face the press losing a case and be able to hold our heads up high and that's we can yes we can what's it what's it of course yeah there's going to be an appeal there was a tremendous amount of issues that were uh don't take the lessons here you don't want to take your lessons from me you're taking your lessons from

jeff lickman here on how to answer uh how to how to answer questions uh after your uh drug king ping client was just found guilty. Joaquin Achivaldo Guzman Loera. That was the specific client yesterday. But you know, and I have a feeling that Jeff now

has an exclusive client. I don't think that Jeff is, he may not have to go to trial anymore for anyone else because he specifically works for Joaquin Achivaldo Guzman Loera. Otherwise known as El Chapo.

We felt that cross-examination of cooperators was greatly restricted, overly restricted. That's going to be an important... They held us up against the wall on that. We couldn't do anything. The whole... Judge letting go. You know, it's too early to think about that now.

We're sort of trying to digest it. I mean, this is not... Emotionally, this is not an easy thing for any of us. We're really concerned that we'll make it through the week. But I can assure you that the appeal will be fought, just as this trial was fought, and as you all saw, this is balls to the wall. Absolutely.

And I'm not going to charge, I'm not going to charge El Chapo on my client today for any extra on the appeals because this was, this was, you know, we charged them already. We already got some money from, you know, I thought we had it on tape. Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman Loera. I don't really isn't anything as tape anymore, Jeff. It's called a digital recording. Oh, yeah, okay. Thank you. You notice, a lot of people still call it tape, though.

As a side note of that, and there is no actual. tape, but people still call recordings that for some strange reason. Now back to El Chapo. Joaquin Achivaldo, Guzman, Loera. I'm just telling you, go back and listen, that's enough of Lickman. I got it. He's such a, I mean, he's saving his ass. All right?

I mean, that is a textbook. Textbook, man. He's saying he's sorry. He's saying there was an avalanche. evidence against his client. We did everything we could. We tried to postpone it. They wouldn't let us.

They had an overwhelming amount of a testimony from people who maybe shouldn't even have been allowed to testify. It was already in the bag as far as bringing him into the United States and going through the motions on this trial. When I got the case, when the two cartel

attorneys showed up and said, you're going to be, you're going to be, He's not dead. They didn't show up and shoot him. Joaquin Achivaldo Guzman Loera. You know El Chapo's attorney. That's what they showed up.

They told him that. Did you fall asleep? Are you... I mean, there's a lot of buttons to press back here, dude. You know that for a fact. There's just a lot of buttons to press. That's confusing. It's very confusing.

You need to get Jeff Lickman to talk for you. Because I was the only... way I'm going to be convinced. Let's go to the break room. I am so thirsty right now. After that textbook of the textbook, How to Answer Questions and Save Your Life by Attorney Jeff Lickman. You know what I really need?

Say it with me. Coca-Cola zero sugar. Oh, you know, did you know, as long as we're headed on there before I... Can you take a sip first? Gosh. Take a sip. Oh, man. That's so good.

Happy? No, you forgot to say something else. Why are they not a sponsor of this program? Nope, something else. Oh, so good. Have you ever told you a good taste of a cold? See, I don't remember saying those things. I don't know why you...

But you do. You say that every time. But apparently I don't say it every time because you... You act in a fool right now. That's what you do it. She's acting a fool. But you always say, I ever told you how good it is.

I don't tell you how good Coke zero is, man. So good. All right, not to the story. I don't know why they're the sponsor of this. Especially after I tell you this new story, I mean, they're coming out with new flavors. Coca-Cola, orange vanilla Coke, and Coca-Cola's first new flavor in over 10 years.

All right, so you got orange. orange vanilla Coca-Cola all right and orange vanilla Coca-Cola zero sugar ooh nice I know that sounds good and it's not out yet or is that something no it's coming out okay it's coming out

let's see Cocoa is the first new flavor in 10 years uh yeah it's out all right oh so it is out now so let's go to sands club baby let's go I don't have a membership can I two new items oh wait a second A second. Wait a second. Stop. Back up for just a second. Peep. Peep. I mean, I don't really appreciate the fat guy beeps for the backing up.

On Friday, February 8th. Okay, so they announced it on Friday. That's where I saw it. Okay. It doesn't come out until the 25th. So it's not out yet. So you can go wait in line in Sam's Club. From now. Until the delivery to the 25th. But it's not. But okay, hold on, but you know it's already on the warehouse. Oh, yeah. They already have it. Oh, yeah. They already have it. That was shipped out before they announced it.

The manager's in the back. Make sure Billy Bob. Hey, they need to come out. They were already making room on the shelves for it. Yes, absolutely. So it does, I mean, hopefully since they are a sponsor of chewing the fat. Wait, they are? Because they should be a sponsor of chewing the fat.

They'll give us, they'll send us some samples, sample. A sample 40-pack of orange vanilla Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and orange vanilla Coca-Cola Coca-Cola. Wow, that's 80 cans? Can you go through that? Well, yeah. I mean, the cases at Samclubs are, what, 38? 38 cans?

That's Sam's for the Coke coming out of? That's a buy. Have you talked about your old Coke zeros, how they went bad? Oh, no, I haven't. Yeah, we should talk about that. They kind of, they did people in on that. Yeah, because for all those people that don't know, Coke, zero sugar change, Jeffie and Stu went out and bought all of them.

We didn't buy all. You bought, okay, sorry, they bought 90% of them out of Sam's Club, and they were hoarding the Cokes at their house. And then come to find out, how did it taste, Jeffrey? I made the guy at Sam's Club getting down the palate. Really? Oh, yeah. Because it was empty.

And I was like, you're out of Coke. Those are the regularists. I looked up, but there's still a palette of the originals. Nice. Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop. I put the wire across. Here. Here. Boop. In. There you go. He was pissed, too.

He was not happy about it. Well, yeah, he has to bring it down, then take the old palette, put it in, take the wrapping paper out. It was the middle of the day. Oh.

Tough. Tough. So I bought a couple off that palette. Okay. How many a couple? I would never fit in the back of the SUV, though. I was driving at the time. Oh, that's a big SUV.

So, uh, and I took it home to axi pop up and a living large, right? I got the regular Coca-Cola zeros, the original's, the original's Coca-Cola zeros. Okay. Just zero, Coca-Cola, zero. Okay. But the new, they'd been over in Europe and said around the, some other places around the globe, as Coca-Cola zero sugar. Oh, so sugar is the new part. Right.

Okay. Okay. But it was always zero sugar. It just didn't say. Didn't say zero sugar, yeah. Dumb. But they also changed the recipe. The recipe a little bit.

Yeah. From the zero and the zero sugar were a different recipe. And at the time, while you're still hooked on zero, zero sugar didn't taste right. Right? So you want the original. And that's which is why I bought a couple extra cans. So, and I mean, I was happy about it. But what they did is.

sneaky little Coca-Cola devils. They quick-dated. I mean, they quick-dated. Actually, what they did is they knew they were going to be, they knew they were going to stop making it, so they didn't make any for a while. So the ones that were still on the shelf were close to being out of date. And so after you set a couple of cases, you know, 10 or 15 or 16, maybe 20,

in the garage, you get down to about the last. Three? Four. Three or four. And it starts to not taste like, ooh. It's not soda. It's not caffeinated anymore. What's going on with that? And by the, oh, man.

There were a couple we just, I just parted with. We parted our ways. And when I moved on to Coke Zero Sugar, which then becomes the staple because you know, they, so you had the good Coke Zero. Then you got the bad Coke Zero, which made Coke Zero. which made Coca-Zero sugar taste better and got you hooked on that again. That's a good transition right there for the company.

I know. That is a very, well-down Coca-Cola. So, right? Yes, absolutely. So not long after I realized that the old ones were bad, I see, I see Stu. Did you sell it?

You should have sold it to him. See, I hate him so much. I don't even like talking to him, so I didn't even think about selling it to him. Okay. So he sees me with the new one. He goes, oh, you're drinking those? Now you're all out of the others?

And I said, yeah, yeah. And he goes, did you notice any different about the regular? I said, that's why I'm drinking this. So they did it to everybody. Wow. Well done. Yes, absolutely. 100% well done.

We're still in the break room, right? Because I got some headlines I haven't even gotten to yet. I mean, we got the 13. This is a story. These headlines is always people love these headlines, but it kind of takes me off. 13 Johns. And you know what Johns are, right?

If I don't have to tell you what Johns are, they're not all named John. You know that right. Like John Doe? Yeah, they're not John Doe. No. 13 Johns, guys attempting to buy services from females selling their wares on the streets.

There we go. Arrested in undercover reverse prostitution saying. So they're arresting. Not the prostitutes, which, as I have another issue, we can go down the road about prostitutes being arrested too. But that's, they're arresting the guy coming up trying to purchase or rent the prostitute. Yeah, you don't buy women. How dare you?

Oh, how dare you? It is 20. They're not properties. You don't buy women? You misogynist. If you want to rob a bank. You're right, and I probably don't want to go any farther with it because you're right. If you rob a bank, let's say you rob a bank, let's say you're in Maine and you rob a bank.

And it's wintertime. It's cold. You have cold, there's snow and ice on the ground. And so you rob a bank, and let's say you don't have an automobile. So you run across the four lanes of traffic after you rob the bank, and you run through a restaurant parking lot. And then as you're running through the restaurant parking lot, you slip on the ice, which then you drop your gun and the money all over the parking lot. And there just happens to be in the parking lot a state police special agent that, you know, then arrest you.

You're doing it wrong. You're doing the whole thing wrong. That's just dumb. When you rob a bank, you're supposed to have a getaway, some sort of getaway vehicle. The getaway vehicle shouldn't be the Adidas sneakers you have on in the middle of the winter. Are you sure? Yeah. Positive.

So the special agent said he didn't even know the bank was being robbed. He's going to the restaurant. He's taking a break heading into the restaurant and says, I just looked up and this guy's running across the parking lot. And all of a sudden, the police are chasing him. All of a sudden, he slips and falls. There's a gun in the parking lot, money flying everywhere. I figured, well, I might as well arrest him.

Good news for Ozzy Osbourne. I know we talked a little bit late last week. Yeah, he likes bats. You remember Ozzy now. He went to the hospital. He was doing flu complications. Right. He canceled some of his tour.

Yeah, he did. He canceled the tour, yeah. He was, he's been really sick. But good news. He's out of the ICU now. Good, good, good. Out of the ICU now. And the wife Sharon said that's kind of bittersweet because he's so overwhelmed with it.

But he gave a big thank you. and he didn't expect the overwhelming outpouring of, of, uh, really? Come on. I know. You shut out. Well, he, there's still maybe some, some brain loss there. He had, he had that much brain.

If you watch, uh, if you used to watch their reality show. I did all the time. Uh, Azu, um, when you do, let's just say, when you do an overwhelming amount of drugs, different kinds throughout your life. They tend to affect your thinking. Yeah. Brain. You know, memory?

Memory. Uh, thoughts. Day-to-day activities. This is your brain on drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fried eggs.

Shut up. By the way, before you leave the Osborne family, Sharon Osborne, she is smoking hot. Till this day, she still got it. I mean, she's what, like 70 now? Sharon, I bet she's what, 67. Right? Wow, 66.

Yeah. She still got it. I can pull what they's out of them. She still got it. Yeah. Ozzy's 70. Yeah. Yeah.

Ozzy doesn't look bad for 70, but that's just a shell. I don't know what happened to their daughter. The artist is just busted ugly. Kelly Osborne? Oh, I don't. She's 34. Ugh. Ugh.

They've all had a rough life. Leave him alone. Jack, 33, he looks okay. Amy Osborne, 35. Oh, I don't remember her. Amy Osborne. Amy? Yeah.

Was she still in the house? No, she was not in the house. No, she was not in the house. She's the eldest of Ozzie and Sharon. She's back in London. She's back in London. She is Sharon's kid? Yeah.

Yeah. She's back in London. And then, though. Really? Yeah. Okay, so there's Kelly, Jack. And he got Elliot, you know, another Ozzy over there. Jessica and Lewis?

Yeah, and he got Jessica Osborne, 47. Who's the other one you're talking about? And? Hold on. Amy. Amy Osborne. It's not on this list. Who's Amy?

Amy Osborne, yeah. Amy, Rachel, Osborne. Parents. The daughter of Ozzy and Sharon. Yeah. She's an English-American actress and musician Says that she was part of the reality series though Wow

She's hot She's like the hottest So the other one is the one that was Kelly was like the main Yeah Kelly and Jack Were the ones that Mo's on the show And Kelly was the one that was a little plump Yeah she still is

She still is But she doctored herself up okay right Yeah Yeah she did she did But she's still, you know, she's, you know, she was on, you know, Shark Nato 2. So. She doesn't look bad? Are you sure?

Look at the same picture that I'm looking. You know, she's only worth $15 million. So I'm willing to. How much? $15 million. Kelly freaking Osborne is worth $15 million. That's embarrassing. I'm willing to, you know.

That's embarrassing. Well, she was doing the E. entertainment show. She did that for a while. Yeah. I got it. These people make all this stupid money. I'm just jealous.

I don't want to do this. I don't want, I don't want, we're going out of the break room now because now I'm just jealous. Kelly Freak at Osborne. $15. Thanks, Dad. So we have a retrospective today. I know we lost something. We're going to have to get our own.

I know that we used to have the retrospective donuts. you know, with the music and, you know, the open and closed music and stuff. Maybe we come up with a chewing the fat, retrospective music. I don't know what we use. Kind of like maybe we find another original wind flute guy. It gives us some retrospective wind flutes or something. But we, today, we have a retro that, we should be doing because

born on January 24th, 2004, when it landed on Mars, the NASA's longest-running rover opportunity has been pronounced dead after 15 years of roaming the planet Mars.

I know that's a crappy retro, but I just saw the headline. Let me give it to you. NASA's Marv Rover Opportunity. Dead at 15 years of age. This has been

retrospective on CTF, right? It's chewing the fat. I can't say chewing the fat, but I'm CTF. Ooh, I like that. Maybe we just call it CTF.

Yes? No. You're not even listening. He's not even paying attention. Hey, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. CTF with Jeff Fisher. Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher, please subscribe.

Look, all these other shows around are, you know, asking you to subscribe and, you know, do all kinds of stuff. I don't, you know, just subscribe to the show. Subscribe to the show. You can rate and review. It helps other people find out about the show. So just rate it 20 stars. Review it best podcast ever. Share it.

You hit the share button. The first email that pops up, send it. Thinking of you. So then you're done. You've subscribed to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. You've rated it, 20 stars. You've reviewed it, best podcast ever. And you've shared it with the first person that shows up in your email address.

And that I would be indebted to you for, well, for a while. Yeah. You could be like gray as Fox saying, we'll give it five million stars if I could. I love this podcast. Jeffrey is so much fun to listen to. Chris, his sidekick is great, too. If only the podcast could be longer and have video someday needs video. Signed.

Signed. Gray as Fox. Otherwise known as Chris Cruz. Thanks for listening to Chewing the Fat.