Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 280 | No Pants, No Problem!

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

Jeffy previews the Academy Awards; we all know who's going to win Best Actor, but the other categories are wide open. The war between Queen Elizabeth II and Meghan Markle is showing no signs of subsiding. Did you ride your local mass transit without wearing pants this weekend? No? You DEFINITELY missed out! Finally, meet the most legendary Galapagos tortoise of all time...   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Big, big, big day here on a Monday for chewing the fat. We have free stuff. Big news from the Blaze. Investment opportunities that I hope you had. And maybe just a little, just a little bit on the Royals. Doing your thing. And you're feeling the remnants of whatever plague is flying through your area,

I feel for you. I feel for you. So tomorrow, set your calendars. You're going to be able to get a free bacon roll from McDonald's. I know. You're thinking to yourself, a free bacon roll. Yeah, that's right, tomorrow at McDonald's. Now, of course, you're going to have to jump through a couple of hoops by downloading their app.

and you can do, you know, just go to wherever you get your apps, Google Play, App Store, same as you do when you, you know, subscribe to Chewing the Fat. And then once you've downloaded the McDonald's app, you can scroll down to their deals section. And then there's an option for the free bacon buddy. And as long as you order a drink, you'll be able to get a free bacon roll. So according to this story, one of the cheapest things you can order is probably a small,

cappuccino, which is about 80 cents. So tomorrow you'll be able to spend, you know, 80 cents, cappuccino, save some cash, and get a free bacon roll. No problem. Just put it on your calendar. You're welcome. I know. Anything I can get you some free food, I'm here for you.

Now it's a big day here at Blaze TV. Big announcements happening. This announcement, I don't know if it's actually happened on air or not yet. I don't think it has. I know what you're thinking. has Glenn already announced Stu's new show. No, I don't care about that. What's Stu's new show?

Stupid America. Stu does America? Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm talking about, for those of you that watch Blaze TV and subscribe to Blaze Television, the show that comes on immediately following Glenn Beck is the Steve Day show.

Now, for the past 80 years, he's had his truth bombs book sitting on his desk. And if you know when I filled in for him, I talked about his truth bomb's book being a load-bearing book. So if it was removed, the whole studio would come crumbling down. So apparently over the weekend they had construction crew come in and make sure that the ceilings and the walls were all under perfect weight-bearing conditions. because today was the first day that Truth Bombs was not on his desk.

I know. Now there was no alarm. There was no alarm going off. We didn't need a giant alarm. It's sitting right behind him. You can still see it there, thankfully. Still, you know, still on the set. He didn't remove it completely from the set.

But big day. Big day. And I don't know that anybody mentioned it on his show. You know, when he was taking calls, I almost called in. Just to say, hey, dude. that he would have loved that dude where's the book but

I didn't but would you have told him that he should go on CNN that's what everyone wants to know well yes but they probably want him to do some online stuff which is what they ended up saying at the end and you know I don't know that it

you know he probably will do it anyway I mean it reaches an audience it reaches the spreads an audience to be able to you know, reach his audience. So sure, he should do it. Why not? Anytime you have an opportunity to make your brand bigger, give it a shot.

He's just concerned that it would hurt his brand. I don't think it would. I don't think it would. Those of you that have invested in Netflix, you did well today. Stocks traded way up. That's right, way up. The company nabbed 24 nominations for the Oscars this morning. and then people decided, hey, we want the Netflix stock.

So good for them. If you had Netflix stock, good for you. I wish I could say I did, that's for sure. But the Oscars are out. Wow, man. Joker, most nominated movie of the year, 11 awards. And of course, you know, we know that Joaquin will get the best actor. There's no doubt I don't even know why they're having

a section for best actor. I mean, I guess it's to look nice to say that they actually... Wow, we did it for sure. We did it right. No, there's no way he loses that. Right? I mean, he's up against Antonio Banderas,

Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Driver, and Jonathan Price. Yakin wins that. Hands down. No problem. Now, the other parts of, what the Joker is nominated for. You know, they,

they might, that might go to once upon a time in Hollywood. You know, they're hoping Netflix is going to get, you know, I know the best of supporting role actors, Pat Shee and Pacino, they're in for that for the Irishman.

They're going to want that. Anthony Hopkins for the two popes. You know, I almost watched that this weekend. I almost watched the two popes this weekend. And I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Because one of the reasons that was I was sick all weekend.

I was just like, I can't take the popes at the same time I'm sick I did watch a show that's from AMC called The Sun and it's Texas's first son The First Son of Texas with Pierce Bronson And he The show is grace, two seasons

And I enjoyed the heck out of it It's all about You know, he gets, his family gets killed In the 1850s joins taken by the Comanches, becomes a Comanchee, and then becomes the first son of Texas and an oil baron. And it's all about his, you know, selling his soul to become who he has become. But the thing about the show is, and I'm going to boggy down with facts here,

the timeline doesn't work. So it starts out, and the show is great because it flashes back, and then it flashes ahead. and it takes us from the 1850s all the way in season two to 1988, 89, something like that, which is really cool, and I enjoyed it very much. But the timeline really doesn't work. Because in 1850, he's this young boy, and even if, let's say, the youngest he is is 10, which I don't think so. I think he's more like 13, 14, maybe 15.

and then in 1915 he's a grandfather old guy you know 65 years later well there's no way that he's 75 or 80 doing the things that he's doing in the show it's no way it's just not possible it's not possible that an 80 85 year old man is doing what he's doing in the show just the timeline doesn't work and then when you think about it again the his granddaughter who is same age as he was in the beginning in 1850 in 1915 is an old lady in 1988 she is old but she would have to be what

she'd have to be almost 98 or 100 time-wise time frame doesn't work doesn't work but the show itself is just let the timeline go because they had to to make it work with what was happening in the country, you have to just kind of, ah, don't worry about the timeline. Just go along with it.

Look at the year and go, oh, yeah, that's the year. And then don't worry about the actual timeline. Just go, oh, that's the year. Yeah, okay, that's the year. That's what's going on in America. So it's worth the watch. Just don't try to get bogged down in facts with, you know, the timeline like I did. Because once I got that in my head, I couldn't stop.

And I still enjoyed it. And Pierce is great. Oh, my gosh. She plays a great role. And there's some other characters in the show that are really good. And there's some great scenes going back to the early days with the Comanche's. Really good. Really good.

So if you have an opportunity, you know, it's, I don't know, 20 shows or something like that. It's good weekend binge. So back to the Academy Awards. I know it's the 92nd Academy Awards. February 9th in Hollywood, California. You know, the number is going to be worthy. I don't know. Will anybody watch it?

I mean, I will, but I'm me, I know. Weirdo. And I'll watch it to prove that I'm right with the... If Joaquin Phoenix doesn't win the best actor for Joker, you might as well just shut down Hollywood. It's over. It's over. Just shut it down.

The rest of the categories, eh, you know. Good for them. And it's not going to, you know, everybody wants their piece of the pie. Netflix's got, what, shut out except for a couple at the Golden Globes. And, you know, they still, that's still, you know, good, but they expected it a lot more. And they'll expect a whole bunch more at the Oscars. But, you know, the rest of it is, I will see. I know.

Do we, achievement in music written for motion pictures? I mean, you know, if you're the. If you're the guy, I mean, great. John Williams, I mean, what is he, a thousand now? John Williams, seriously, how old is he? He did the Star Wars Rise of Skywalker. So he's only 87, so he's just under a thousand. I would think that he would be older.

That's pretty good then. He's still creating it 87. Good for him. But, you know, Randy Newman is in there, and Randy Newman has got to be in his 70s now, too. I mean, he's really, he's been around a long time and went into doing films. I'll just raining.

It's 74, 76, a couple years off. So, I mean, everybody's getting up there, but good for them. I mean, you know, congratulations, but do I really care? Eh, eh. So anyway, you have the Oscars coming up and just know that, you know,

when Joaquin gets it, I was right. Maybe you'll get arrested a couple more times before then. Goes out with Jane Fonda and gets arrested out there for climate change. rallies in Washington, D.C. He was agonizing this weekend. They need to not let him speak.

Just I want him to win the award because he was great in the movie and just the role was tremendous and he deserves the award more than any of these other dingleberries. But just don't speak. To kind of go back to what Ricky Jervais said,

come up, get your award, Thank your God or whoever you want to thank, and then fuck off. So speaking of Ricky Jervais, apparently he's on the charts. He vaults to number one on the top actors tally for the social climbers charts. I don't know that I've seen the social climbers chart before. So you've got six social climbers charts that top actors, Ricky, is number one plus 23. You got the Rock, J-Lo, Bobby Brown, Chop for Aniston, as of the usual suspects, Reese Witherspoon number 10.

Top comedians, Ricky, of course, number one. You got Kevin Hart. Then top TV personalities. Ellen stays the same. Mike Huckabee Plus 3? Come on. Come on. What are you talking about?

He's number two behind Ellen? No way. Ryan Seacrest of four. for Steve Harvey, he'll bump up here in a couple of weeks, right? Because he's got that big thing he's hosting. But he's still on there at number five. Top scripted shows, Riverdale, plus eight. Top news talk variety, the today show, number one, plus one.

Top unscripted, the Bachelor plus three on the social media charts. Good for them. But Ricky shot to the top after the Golden Globes. I still am shocked that Mike Huckabee A, is he really a TV personality? Mike Huckabee? I guess he is.

I guess he still has a show, right? He still does the Mike Huckabee show. So he has the show on TBN and then he also does his hits on Fox. You know, they still think his political commentary is worthy. But if you were thinking to yourself, TV personalities, I would say Mike Huckabee does not come to mind.

So did you catch any of the football games this weekend? Big games this weekend, huge. They were exciting. NFL teams going into the championship games, see who's going to end up going to the Super Bowl. And there were some exciting games. The Kansas City Houston game was amazing. It was fun to watch, and it was just an amazing game to watch.

And unbelievable. I mean, down 24 to nothing, and then win 50, what, 51 to 31 or 50 to 31, whatever it was. I mean, it was incredible. But they're all getting ready to go to the Super Bowl. And I see that in Miami, the Miami Super Bowl organizers, and I love the Miami Super Bowl organizers, they have now started a new thing called the Python Bowl.

And that started this past Friday. Why didn't I know about this? I would have liked to have maybe, you know, tried to, you know, enter. But the python bowl is a 10-day contest. It began Friday. It's going to give, you're going to be able to win all-terrain vehicles, cash to the hunters who kill the most and biggest of the Burmese pythons.

The pythons, which can grow up to 20 feet, are descended from pets released starting five decades ago. And those, they've been devouring native mammal and bird populations all over. the people in Florida and the Everglades. Do not like it. They shouldn't have taken them as pets and let them free. But they're out there, baby, and it's going on. We might have to talk to someone, try to figure out who's ahead, who's going on.

This one guy is in it who's already caught almost 800 pythons. And he said the key to success is persistence. Okay. Takes a keen eye. Focus. And that's just me talking. It takes a keen eye. We've got to focus.

We've got to practice hard, play hard, get out there and do the right thing. And the person that works the hardest sees the most, Burmese pythons is going to win. Oh, okay. Thank you. Thank you. It's just like the football games.

Ugh. Agonizing. So I know Thursday and Friday was all, you know, Royals talk, and I could still talk about it some more. This weekend was heavy Royals news. as well, but they had their big meeting. They all got together today.

Yes, they did. And they all met up. Harry, Billy, Jucky, Lizzie. I don't know that she was there. I don't think she was part of the talks. She may have bed there. She's just not, she wasn't part of the talk. But coming out of the news is the Queen says my family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Megan's desire to create a new life as a young family.

Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the royal family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family. Isn't that special? Isn't that special? So now we're going to let them be part-time, because they've made it clear they do not want to be reliant on public funds in their new lives. It has therefore been agreed that there will be a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the UK.

These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there's some more work to be done. But I have asked for the final decisions to be reached. the coming days. Yay! There was a lot of news this weekend. I was surprised Megan just left. Like, Harry and

Megan showed up without the kid on Thursday or Friday. And then Megan just leaves. I'm going to go back to get Archie and just leaves. So yeah, heaven forbid. Heaven forbid we leave Archie alone. Then the brothers, the news that the brothers were

fighting, they claim no. Harry and William did post it came out and said we're not fighting we still love each other we're all getting along everything's fine uh-huh so go ahead I know you're itching go ahead and then you have Prince Harry being a pimp pin pin to the DC CEO they did that behind the queen's back they did that along with the website build and everything they did that all behind the merchandise that they're doing all behind the Queens back and now they went back and now they went back And they said, oh, this is what we're doing. And that's why Megan, this is my belief.

That's why Megan left early. She was just pushing Harry into the fight. You make sure you tell her. You make sure you tell her. You make sure you tell her. I got to go. So Harry's left. In the UK while Megan is in Canada with her buddies that suits.

No, no, no. She was back taking care of the kid. She had to rush. Oh, I mean, taking care of the kid. Sorry. Not go back to auditioning for voice. overs at Disney for a charity. Is that what they call the bank account now?

Charity? I have to. Yeah. I mean, as long as it's charity, rake it in. And I'm sorry, Harry.

Why are you pimping your wife? Who are you? It's called getting a manager. So that's K-Cruise at theblaze.com. K-cruise at the blaze. I'll come work for you guys and be your manager and pimper out. It's beneath you. That's so nice.

You're a prince. That's so nice of you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I mean, that is. Shut up. I just love it. It's so fascinating. I cannot believe the queen has been so graceful.

Yes, through this whole thing, man. And the queen comes out and starts driving. Do you see that video? Yeah, on Sunday. She's like, I'm still in charge. I can drive. Unlike my husband that got drunk and hit a couple of girls. Well, he just goes for.

a drunk drive. Who among us hasn't just, you get drunk and want to go for a drive? Me? I haven't. Now, everybody does. That's silly. Don't be, don't pretend like you have it. But I love the back and forth. Like, Megan does something, the crown does something. Yep. The crown does something. Mega does something. It's been, it's been that way now for a good month, month and a half.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Everything is a reaction to whatever the last person did. So good. You know who looks good in all this? Prince Andrew. I know. Now, he's still taking some heat, though, because he always gets mentioned. He always gets mentioned, you know, Prince Andrew and, you know, trying to get away from the crown and do his thing. He always gets thrown into the fray. But, I mean, if I'm him, I'm happy.

I'm like, no problem. I'm on, I'm pushing, hey, Megan, you should do this. You aren't lying. I am. I mean, she doesn't. Oh. Hey, Megan. Yeah, this is Andrew.

Hey. And you are not going to want to believe what that old bitch said about you. day. What does she say? Yeah, she was, holy God. Listen, I got to go. Somebody's coming. I mean, I would just do that every day, but every day be a fight started between those two. Amazing. Oh, amazing. Oh, no. Sad news, too. You know what? Before we get to the sad news, let's go to the break room. I need a, I need a drink a Coca-Cola

Zero. Is it what it is. Oh, so good. So, I know that over the weekend was big news that. that Gwyneth Paltrow was selling, you know, from her Goop website line, she was a big deal that she had candles that were to smell like her vagina. That's what she said. And they're all sold out. Oh, man, did I want one?

Oh, did I want one of those? Because I want to know, I want to know what she thinks it smells like. because she's the one that said, hey, this candle smells like, you know, like hoo-ha. But, you know, who knows? I know that we've got the new Netflix show coming out at the end of this month.

The Goop Lab. And, you know, she's, Gwyneth has been a little, you know, whoo-ho over the past few years as it is. So, you know, Because let's say I was just trying to be nice about the smell of the candle.

Because there's been, well, plenty of times I've read stories about people who have been with other people who, if it were to smell like a candle, that candle smell would not be that nice of a candle. smell. No. Have you? Let me light my candle for smells like my hoo-ha. Blow that thing out, man.

Get rid of that. That's nasty. Ha! Hey, can we give the candle a shower and do something? But anyway, it doesn't matter because it's sold out. Dry your eyes. All right. As long as we're in the break room,

we'll talk a little bit about the subway ride. Those of you that took the trains and the subways yesterday on No Pants Subway Day. Did you hope you participated? Make sure you took your picture. There's plenty of pictures online and social media on the No Pants Subway Ride of 2020. Plenty of cities around America participated. Berlin, Boston, Calgary, Chicago, Dallas. And just so you know,

It really isn't a subway in Dallas. It's just kind of light rail. But, hey, I figured what the heck I'm going pants anyway. That's where I'm here. I'm here in Dallas. I'm going pants free as it is. Lisbon, London, Los Angeles, Mexico, City, Melbourne, Montreal, New York, Phoenix.

Portos. You know what? Just worldwide globally. No pants. Subway day. And wow, is it a good day. It is a good day to walk around. ride on the subway

and just pretend pretend like you're wearing pants but you're not really wearing pants yeah you can't do that holy cow again want to take a ride on the subway oh yeah take your pants off

I'll take mine off or you could take mine off I could take yours off. Either way. Either way, we're going off the subway and no pants. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's going to be tough to be out the subway because you're supposed to be, you know, you're supposed to appear and act like it's no big deal, right? It's just like, no big deal, no pants. You're not supposed to, you know, make a big deal out of it. Okay, I get it. Ain't nobody got time for that? But they do have time for that.

They really do. Hey, nobody got time for that. They do have time for that. And I'm thinking to myself, there's no way that I could do that and not look. I mean, I'm supposed to pretend like I'm not looking like, hey, it's no pants Sunday. I'm just hanging out here on the subway. I'm just, ooh, look at that one. Wow.

Excuse me. Did you bring your pants in your bag because you need to put those back on? Or you go, oh, hey. And you just continue your ride, whether you're getting off where she gets off or not, you're still getting off. Wait, never mind, I'm not, eh. Yeah, I know. Hey. I know we don't know each other, but we're riding here on subway car, 69.

And I was thinking, it's no pants, subway day. You've participated. I'll join in. Let's participate together. Oh yeah. I mean, that's a tough day. That's a tough day. So if you look online and look at all the pictures of a no-pants day,

you'll get an idea of what I mean. Some of them and others. That's not what it's supposed to be about, Jeff. That's not what it's supposed to be about. And have you seen the new fashion trend of lace shorts for men? I use men loosely, but I am fashion. I have been called fashion. I am Mr. Fashion.

I have fashion forever. That answer is false. No. I am fashion. I am fashion. But I was looking at the new lace shorts for men. And, you know, when you lived in Florida, I lived in Florida. I don't know if I ever told you this before or not, but I lived in Florida for a many years.

and a lot of times you'd wear shorts to go swimming. And if they didn't have the inner lining, they were just got some kind of gym shorts, and then you weren't wearing anything underneath, everything's out in the open once it gets wet. Or you wear white shorts with darker underwear. And so right there you're seeing the line. You always know people that aren't from Florida

that are wearing white shorts and they've got dark underwear on here. What are you doing? tourists. But now these lace shorts they have, so the shorts are lace, and I'm sure they're just darn comfortable. They look comfy. Different colors, they look darn comfy.

But all the guys are wearing wearing little tidy whitties. Nothing and nothing else. So if you wanted to really show yourself off with the lace shorts, you could do it, baby. You know you could do it. I know, that's a...

Oh yeah. I know. I'm wearing my baby blue lace shorts. Just for you. I was going to wear witty tides or tidy whitties. You know what I was going to wear, but I decided to put this on. You can't even tell I have anything on my backside because that string goes right up the middle. Oh yeah.

No, never mind. It's not going to work. All right. I know we've got a little bit of crime to cover. In North Carolina, the FBI is asking the public's help in catching the so-called bad wig bandit. It's been robbing banks in North Carolina. One wig was blonde. Another wig was black. The third was red. The FBI said, he, I'm assuming it's a he, and so are they. He robbed the BB&T in Huntsville. then he robbed two banks on January 7th,

New Horizon Bank, and a Wells Fargo. So as the bad wig bandit is still out there on the run, the blonde wig kind of shows his face, or the face, whether it's a he or a she, which was not a good move on the criminals part, because somebody now knows who it is. The other wig, the black wig or the red wig, has his face covered, so that was kind of, you know,

well, well done. But that first one, who that's in trouble. Somebody now knows that the bad wig bandit could be Freddy from down the street. Yeah, that's a problem. Freddie, is that you?

Are you the bad wig bandit? Is that you? And Freddie will have to say, no, or Freddie will say, yeah, that's me. Shut your face. So if you're Freddy, the bad wig bandit, be careful, bro.

Be careful. Remember I told you about the guy who, said, I told the judge he did the crime because he wanted to go back in prison. He did a Michigan guy. He wanted to go back to prison. He couldn't live his life outside of prison anymore. And I just got, you know, I did this.

I have to live with. The judge said, okay. And I threw him back in prison for, you know, another bunch of years. Well, he on Friday just plunged about 40 feet to his death with, an apparent suicide in the prison. And I don't know if you ever seen the prisons

of the cell blocks, but they are monstrous. So you've got the bottom floor and then you go up another four or five stacks. So I'm kind of guessing. This is just me. I have no way to prove it. I don't know if it's true or not,

but why would you say you wanted to go back to prison? Why would you say you wanted to go back? back to prison and then kill yourself once you're in prison. It doesn't make any sense. Except that when you went back to prison, you realized to yourself that you still owed Freddie the bad wig bandit won money. And Freddie was not having any of that.

What was this at? Michigan. Oh, no, no, I thought it was in New York because we covered last week the New York has an epidemic and suicides. Right? I want to make sure that we're not adding to the CDC Oh, well, there still could be an epidemic in prisons

No question, but not in New York. Or the USDA, not the CDC. We have to make sure that the USDA has this stat in the record. We did cut, yeah. No, the USDA did not put this on their list. Oh, no. So you're okay.

It's not going to be added on. You're fine. Okay, good, good. I want to make sure. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, if you're on the USDA list, That's the epidemic of the suicides. You don't want that.

The drug kingpin, who was found guilty while he struck a deal for, no, not. Joaquina Shivaldo and Guzman, no. He may have been working for. Joaquin Ashivaldo Guzman Loera. But according to this, he wasn't. Not even Joaquin, Guzman, Ashivaldo, Loera, Jr. No, this was Jerome, my man Woods. I'm sorry?

Jerome, my man, Woods. I feel like you need to put your face pump when you say, my man. Jerome, my man. There it is. All right. Nailed it. Yep. He tried, he got, he had 19 years in federal prison for how much pot he's been transporting

between Texas and Pennsylvania and across the country. And he went back in front of the judge and said, man, 19 years is just too long. Holy cow. That's too long. It should have only been 10 years. And the judge was like, uh... Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. Sorry, you'd be happy with what you got.

Get out of my courtroom. So if you are working at NASA, right now, you've got to be feeling like, man, do we suck? And I love NASA. I'm a fan of NASA. I really am. I want them to do great things. And I'm tired of us having to hitch rides to the space station. I want us, you know.

But I also think that we should be, you know, having the private, contractors go up and pick up the trash and bring it back. I get it. But this past summer, a 17-year-old intern, Wolf, C-U-K-I-E-R, is interning at the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. So he was tasked with going through data on star brightness from the facilities ongoing. So they just said, oh, you're an intern, you're great. Okay, what you need to do is go through data on star brightness from the facility.

The facility's ongoing transesting echo planet survey satellite mission. The Scarsdale High School Senior was looking at a foreign system located 1,300 light years from Earth. Okay, so they stick them with that. They stick them over the corner. Just go through that data. What do you got that wolf kid doing? Ah, he's going through the brightness from the facility's ongoing data. It'll be there for hours.

Never mind. He then notices, um, that appeared to be, slight darkness is one of the system's suns it turned out the darkness was a planet 6.9 times larger than the earth that orbited two stars

it's now a new planet so they had the intern who found the new planet amazing I mean if you work for NASA right now you've got to be thinking to yourself

man are we smart for turning the interns into doing that paperwork and finding stuff because I sure as heck didn't want to go through all that stuff. I'll tell you that. Or you can pretend that, wow, the teen's discovery was rare because circumbinary planets are usually difficult to find. And we can only detect these planets during a transit event, which one of the sun shows of decrease in brightness. What? You heard the man.

You're a nerd. Oh, well, I mean, of course. But, I mean, the two suns in the solar system in question, T-O-I-338. I love these. It's hard to distinguish the transit events from the planet, dubbed T-O-I-138-B, which takes place every 93 to 95 days. But we've got a new planet, and it's all because of the intern. I love it.

Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts. Thanks for listening to Chew and the Fat today. I appreciate it very much. It was a long weekend. Tonight, if you're listening live, this is Monday, the 13th of January, 2020, and it's the national championship for college football. Now, I love the NFL just as much as the next guy.

And this weekend was fun to watch and everything, but, man, I miss college football. And so we got one game left tonight, LSU and Clemson. I really, you know, everybody is, figuring LSU will win the game. I want LSU to win the game. If Clemson wins, will I be disappointed? No.

But I really miss college football. What happened to the Moran Trivia? Did we win? No, more on trivia was wrong. So we're... Seven and ten. So we're done for the season. No, well, we have two more games.

So we're done for the season, right? I wish we were. So we're done for the season. So let's cancel the next two more on trivia. I don't want to come. I'm all for it. Six o'clock in the morning, and we're done, right? So seven and ten, good luck next.

As commissioner, I'm all for that, but I have to, you know. So I thought commissioners have all the power. Well, except for the owners. This is a league. What are you talking about? Oh, this is a league. Oh, okay, okay. So what owner do you have to talk?

Keith is an owner? Well, no, Keith is just not an owner. Don't ever think that Keith is an owner. He's not an owner. There's only two owners. And those are? The commissioner and Pat Gray. Oh, okay.

Okay. So you're an owner, but you can't make that call. That's correct. I'm an owner and a commissioner, but that's only equals one vote. Oh, okay. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Man, why you? I just want to make sure.

I want to make sure because, you know, I don't do football. I just want to make sure that I don't want to wake up anymore. 6 o'clock in the morning to come here and do phone calls and all that stuff. We have two more games left. The championship. Two more? Jeffie, no, we're done. The Super Bowl is next weekend.

We can't even, no, Super Bowl is the following two weeks. I mean, the big game. I mean, the big game. No, we have the championship weekend this coming weekend. Okay. And then you have a week off and then the Super Bowl. Oh, by week. Yeah, well, it's the extra Super Bowl week.

and I'm sorry, the extra big game week. Yeah, woof, sorry. Jeffrey, what the heck? I don't, I know. And then you have the Super Bowl. So you have two games for more on trivia. So if we don't play, we end up seven and ten on the season we move on. If we play, best we can do is nine and ten.

Or, I mean, we could end up seven and twelve. that is not good at all. Does it really matter? No, it doesn't. So long as you give Christian Bustler the MVP trophy, because he's the one that gets all the callers for you. It doesn't really matter. And again, Christian, we appreciate all the hard work you do.

Do you? Do you? You got your back to me the whole show. But it doesn't really matter the win. It's nice to have the win. But the game itself is the most fun. And that's actually true. So anyway, I appreciate you bringing that one up.

I also loved the over-sexed turtle. The Playboy Turtle. He had so much sex, but he saved his entire species. Hey, baby. Where are you going with that shell? Get that head out of that shell. Get on over here. Turn around.

Now get those tails and legs out of that shell too. That's right. So this tortoise, he probably saved, single-handly saved the entire species of the Delapagos turtles. All right, his unstoppable libido. He was shipped over from the San Diego Zoo. I remember talking about bringing him over to the island,

bringing the sex turtle over to the island and he just went crazy. That was like setting him free, man. He was just like, oh yeah. There were 12 females and two males alive on the island. And I believe this has not been said of the story yet. We'll get there. But I believe that he took care of business on all of them. He took care of business all of them.

He had so much help me up boost the population to over 2,000. I mean to tell you, hello. Now a total of 15 took part of the breeding program, but you know my boy here. My boy here was the main man. He was like, no, nobody. My name is Diego. All right?

I am here for some turtle business. I am in love with that. So don't even tell me. You know, when you go to the zoo and you say, oh my God, don't look, honey. No, you want the kids to look because that's what's keeping those animals alive for us to eat as humans. Oh, no.

Stop, that's just mean. But, I mean, Diego, well done.