Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 29 | Sperm Whale Penis For Sale

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

Jeffy decides to go over the documentary "Down Periscope" and whale sounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, so remember the lottery where everyone wanted to win, and it was $1.5 billion? And the jackpot was one by one ticket in South Carolina. No one has come forward yet. That money is still out there. And this is what's wrong with the state government. And actual federal government, by the way. The state has already budgeted the $61 million that that ticket would have paid South Carolina. And they're ready.

They put it in the budget already. Well, now, if nobody comes forward and the lottery has to give the money back to the states of the mega million's tickets, that means that the $61 million is not collected and they've got to take it out of the budget. Why are you putting it in the budget if it hasn't been collected yet? Now, someone could still come forward with it. You know that it's gone, right? Remember along that time there was the hurricane that came through and flooding and people were all concerned about that?

And I know we've talked about this before because nobody had come forward and they were concerned that no one would come forward and it's looking like no one is going to come forward now. You have until mid-April to come forward and claim your one person. $1.5 billion, it'd be a real shame to have that go back to the 44 states that play mega millions. So if you are in South Carolina or were in South Carolina and you purchased a mega millions ticket and you haven't checked it or you never did check it, dig around your pickup truck, dig

around your Volkswagen bug, clean it out, look in the trash, look at the ash tray, look at, look in the shoes, look at the bottom of your purse, open it up, maybe you're stuck it above the sun visor, maybe it went down between the seats, maybe it's in a shoe, I don't know where it could be, but find it because it's worth $1.5 billion and the state of South Carolina, bless their little hearts, they're counting on using that $61 million that they're going to take from you.

So you know, if you've listened to chewing the fat with yours truly, for any length of time, you know, from the beginning. And really from the beginning of time, I've always wanted to be a part of or hold a Guinness World Record. I want to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Now, I have a way that I think chewing the fat could make it to the Guinness Book of World Records. And I'm going to tell you how. but got me thinking about it again today because there was a town

congratulations are in order to a small town up in Maine showigan show again show again show again show again it's got to be show again it's got to be scho egan Scho Egan Skow Egan S-K-O-W-H-E-G-A-N It's in Maine.

That's all you do to know. It's a city at Maine. They set the Guinness World Record for Moose Calling. For Moose Calling. Now, the organizers of the Maine Moose Festival, and who, I mean, when you think of festivals, you think of the Maine Moose Festival in Sco Egan, Maine. This is the first year I missed it.

Now, they set a record attempting 1,054 people. moose calling. The effort took place in June. In June, we're hearing about this known. And when a registered guide got the sizable crowd, they did the noise, and now the Guinness people said,

yep, you know what? It's a world record. Stamp it on. Amazing. Now, if you weren't one of the lucky people to be in Skowigan, Maine, for the moose calling world record as part of the

main moose festival here's what it sounded like now he has an audience in uh in uh stands it's like uh the fairground stands you know where they whatever they might have you know moose races or whatever they do down on the field three two one ready

sample How I want, I wish the story right now. You can pause for just a second, okay? Because I don't, just stop. He's counting down to the moose call. We don't want to ruin that. But you have no idea how I wanted this story to be paused right there with made moose caller killed by trampled by moose.

I wanted that moose call to actually have mooses show up. Is it mooses? Mises? 1,054 people. Come on, man. Good. I mean, there's not a moose. This is actually a moose stay-awake-all. You got to do the right amount of time. There it is.

Your wife did. Anyway, the, uh, uh, so if you watch the video, think that 1,054 people were actually moose calling. No, it sounds like, ah! And plus it looked like there were. a few that we're just there not making for the moose calls. But, hey, Guinness, let it go.

Right? Because Guinness is like, we've got to get these moose people off our backs. Okay. Yep, they set the record. No problem. Nobody else could do it. Nobody else is going to do it. Let the main moose festival have the Guinness World Booker record for Moose call and be done with it.

Next year, they'll call us and say, hey, we did it with $1,055. Okay. Just rubber stamp it. I don't want to hear it. I'm sick of talking to him. Now, and again, it's called moose calling. Right. Now, to me, if I'm a moose, I'm staying away from that. Right.

No, thank you. No, no, no, no. Because I don't know if you've ever been moose hunting. I mean, they're big. They're really big. Now, I don't look at me like, you go moose hunting, you bastard. No.

But I do know a lot of people that have gone moose hunting. Pita. And I know what it is like to have mooses coming through the brush at you when you're out hunting for them. Do you? I do. I do. And this is what, I mean, in real life, they sound like this. Yeah.

Tell me, you're out hunting. And you're out hunting for whatever you're hunting for. It might not even be mooses, mice's, whatever you're hunting for. you might be out hunting for, you know, poor little foxes or whatever the case is. And coming through the brush, you hear this? I mean, dude, no doubt. You've just killed a moose.

Moose meat forever. Now, I've eaten a lot of, I've eaten quite a bit of moose meat. I know that comes as a surprise to you. That there's some sort of meat I've eaten a lot of. Shocking. Yeah, I know. But, you know, moose burgers are good, man.

I enjoyed them. Now, people in Maine, have a world freaking record, a world record, a Guinness Book of World Records. Why does not chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher have a Guinness Book of World Records? Why? Because we cannot afford a second heart of time. I always want. What does that mean?

We can't get you any fatter. That's the record you're going for, right? Fattest podcast host ever? That hurts. No, I'm serious. What do you want? That hurts. Does it?

A fat joke coming from you. Yeah. If you want to get started, if you would like to get started down that road, Chris Cruz. Oh, my gosh. You think I pick at you now, my friend. You'll be so mad at me by the time this show gets over. Anyway, so I want to set the Guinness World Booker record. I want to have a Guinness record.

And I have a great idea. I know I've wanted to do this for several years. Like more than several years. I mean, there's been at least at least 15 years. I've wanted to do this. And I think we should, now that I have you, Chris Cruz, one of the best podcast radio producers

there is in the country, you pull, get things going and make things happen. That's you. You could probably help it get it happening. Because I want to do it, but I just don't want to do anything to make it happen. What is it? Because they have to work.

Oh, yeah, we all know you're allergic. So, yeah. So what I want to do is I want to set the Guinness Book of World Records for the most people sitting on a whoopee cushion for the... Oh, yeah, you're talking about this. Right. That's what I know I've talked about it for sitting on a wuppie cushion at the same time. Yes. You get sponsors on the whoop cushion.

Yeah. Do it at a stadium. Is it a normal size wuppie cushion? Or is it like a giant wuppie cushion? Whatever? Okay. Whatever. I mean, if we need to make it bigger for more sponsors.

We make it bigger for more sponsors. I'm okay with that. So you want to go to the American Airlines? We can do that or we could do, you know, a lot of times you can go to, you know, minor league baseball stadiums. Stuff like, you know, because I started thinking about it when I was working in Tampa because the Yankees have a minor league team there. And they've got a really nice minor league stadium there.

Yeah. Who? The Yankees. One of their teams. What are they? The Yankees. No, but what's the minor league baseball called? They're called Yankees, too?

Wow. That seems kind of confusing. The stadium is right across from the football stadium, from Raymond James Stadium where the Buccaneers play. And it's a beautiful, small, a smaller version of Yankee Stadium. It's beautiful. And I was thinking because it holds about 5 or 6,000, something like that.

I have to look up to see what it holds. But I was thinking, you could. three or four thousand people one time on a whoopee cushion come on that's a great world I haven't double checked on what the world record is now

at that time it was only it was like hundreds yeah but is everyone if you start questioning my world record no no no I'm not I'm trying to understand it so is everybody sitting in one whoopee cushion

no everybody gets their own whoopie cushion everybody sits on one whoopee cushion yeah we're going to make a whoopee cushion the size of 10 acres and everybody's going to sit on it. That's what I said. How big does it need to be? Because I'm here thinking, like,

you can maybe get 10 people sit in one. Is it a hot air balloon? No, it's a whoopee cushion. It's what you're talking about. Now we need to make a 10-acre whoopee cushion. You know, think about this. 3,000 people sat on one giant whoopee cushion like that. Do you know the air pushed out of that thing?

That's what I'm saying. That's the world record I can help you with. Imagine everybody just jumps and... I've got to make sure that it's faced out to the ocean, though. It might push the United States. Yeah. Maybe we're doing California on the crust. If you're on one side of Florida, we'll see how far we can get it to the other side of Florida.

Yep. Just hopped. Oh, we just put it in the water and everybody jumps to how far you could go. Oh, I like that. Yeah. No, everybody gets their own whoopee cushion, dummy? That makes more sense. Nah.

So you remember Bree Larson? I was just thinking of her last night too the actress Brie Larson you say yes but you didn't say it convincingly like you know who she is right Bree Larson

Captain Marvel yeah the room though I was thinking of her last night because of her performance in the movie called The Room where she is locked in this room with her kid I don't know that movie

What hell is going on in there? I don't know that movie, Jeffie. What were you listening to? We'll get back to Bree in a moment here on Chewing the Fat. It was a call. Why were you not participating in the program? It was a call, Jeffie, that I forgot. A call?

Yes. A call? A call with my boss. Your boss? Yes. When we're recording this podcast, I'm your boss. Oof. Let's not forget that.

Focus on this show. If there's someone that is your boss outside of this show, they can wait. Unless it's glad. It is. I never mind. Tell them I said hi. So anyway, Bree Larson. So I'm watching NCIS that we recorded.

It's a new episode of NCIS. Yes, I watch the stupid show with NCIS. And it's about a girl who is locked in the basement with their mom. and, you know, her mom was pregnant, and she's only known about living in this basement, so it got me thinking about the room. So anyway, which is how I was thinking about, Bree, but now she's on,

Bree Larsson is on this publicity tour for the first female-led Marvel movie. And she loves, she loves reviewers and people who do interviews with her. So she, you know, she won an Oscar for the room, too, I think, right? So she's an Oscar winner. But she picked a lady, a journalist, who has cerebral policy and is a woman of color, because about a year ago, Larson explains,

I started paying attention to what my press days look like and the critics reviewing movies and noticed it appeared to be overwhelmingly white males. What? What? Now, remember she has this fixation on gender? I'm guessing that she hates white males. That's pretty much where I get from her. Remember when she was so mad at people who were giving her a hard time about the movie

a wrinkle in time? I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear what a white man has to say about a wrinkle of time, a wrinkle in time. I want to hear what a woman of color, a biracial woman has to say about the film. The movie wasn't made for them. Bree, I'm pretty sure that the movie film industry and the film company and production companies would disagree with that. They want the movie to reach everyone.

So that that means that there's more money for everyone. And I don't think your bank asks where that money came from when you cash the check for these movies you play. So good luck. God bless. I hope your first email-led Captain Marvel movie will be wonderful. And it probably will be, sadly. can't take it

as long as we're talking about movies I mean you've got the new Disney Aladdin trailer out with Will Smith where he is we talk about being okay with blackface he's just the blue genie

so there'll be plenty of jokes about that you can count on that happening you've got Frozen 2 with their first trailer out for Frozen 2 which is if I get another

another frozen song stuck in my head for another two years after a movie release. That's what's coming from Frozen 2. And Netflix reportedly paid $10 million for campaign documentary featuring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Oh my gosh. I cannot wait to see that. Knock Down the House. Produced by New York's Jubilee Films and Profiles, the campaigns of Las Vegas businesswomen,

Amy Vallele, St. Louis Nurse of Corey Bush, coal miner's daughter, Paula Jean Swergan, and West Virginia, and New York-based Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who worked double shifts at restaurants to pay her family's bills. Now, I'm pretty sure that Ocasio was the only one who won and made it to Washington, all the rest of them lost.

So it'll be fascinating to see what she did right. What she did right was she was in New York. And she worked harder than the guy that was already in office. And that's about it. It wasn't that she was smarter. I guarantee you that. But you got that to look forward to from Netflix. Can't wait.

Knock down the house. She'll probably be able to afford it. apartment in D.C. now, though. So yesterday we missed the second annual out of the ordinary auction in the United Kingdom. Very disappointing. There's a few things that I would have liked to have bid on. But the biggest ticket item that they had is something I don't know that I've ever seen before. Oh, for sure, you probably haven't seen it before. Now, they did sell a Michael Jackson's 1992-93 Dangerous Tour outfit,

a vintage French postcards depicting Witch's Sabbath, which that'd be kind of cool, wingtips from the Cathay Pacific 747, an Ice Age cave bear skeleton from Romania or Austria, A Victorian watercolor of two men dressed in drag. Oh yeah, I'm in. But the big ticket item. The big ticket item.

The drag wasn't the big ticket item? No, no, it was not. Shame. The big ticket item was from the 19th century. It, about $6,000 was what they got for the biggest. ticket item. By the biggest ticket item, I mean, it's 167 centimeters, five and a half feet long, nearly one foot wide, and it just weighs 18 pounds. Because it looks like it's stuffed with horsehair. Okay. It's a sperm whale penis. Oh, I'm sorry? What kind of?

The sperm whale. Oh. The picture looks like I wish we had video. I wish we had video to Chewing the Fat podcast. So it could be chewing the fat vidcast and podcast. It looks like a giant carrot. It looks like this giant. It looks like he's the world.

The Guinness Book of World Records, carrot. Five and a half feet long, 18 pounds. It does not look like something that a sperm whale would have. But I will say that if you saw this coming at you from a sperm whale, I don't know what to be scared of most, the sperm whale or this. But six grand, you can have it in your house. It's so good. Now, apparently, sailors used to use these sperm whale.

penises to keep their tobacco in on long trips. So you never know. If you kept the tobacco inside the whale thing, I kept it moist and fresh during the journey. So it probably is not going to do that now since this is old and dried up and decrep it, but, you know, full of horse stuff with horse hair and only weighs 18 pounds.

but it would be fun to have in your house. I don't know that my wife would appreciate it. Maybe she would. Maybe she would just hanging up, you know, like you walk in the house and you hang it up over the walkway. Yeah, like a deer. No, not on a wall like that. Maybe over the walkway.

Like our house you walk in, the stairway runs up to the right. Yeah. And then you have a crosswalk. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe you're just hanging on the crosswalk. Oh, okay. But do you, do you? Like where you have you?

a mistletoe for the holidays, only that would be, it would be the whale penis. But is it pointing towards the door or it's the sideways? Ooh. Like how, does it look like a unicorn? I was thinking sideways, but. I'll think more of it like a unicorn.

But if it's pointed at you, I mean, duck. Because if you had that giant sperm whale thing hanging you know, the walkway. Like a unicorn? Maybe you have, well, you're sticking at, pointing at you. Maybe you use like, you have the big whale doorbell sounds.

You know, so ding-dong, but it's not ding-dong. It's, you know, the whale sounds. It's not going to work, though. What do you mean it's not going to work? Give the whale sounds for the doorbell. Yeah, all they do is click. Listen, all they do. You mean all they do is click?

This is all they do. You hear that clicking? That's all they do. Have you not ever seen the documentary, uh, The documentary, down periscope. Okay. The documentary Down Periscope was made, oh, now I got to look it up.

All right. I got to look it up. Because it's the, you've never seen Down Periscope. No, I don't have it. And the guy imitates the whales. Okay. In the submarine, they're on the run.

Uh-huh. And they're hiding on the bottom of the ocean. Okay. And the people who are after them think they've found them. so he's got to uh in the documentary the submarine hits the hits the bottom of the ocean floor too loud and gives their position away so the only way that they can get out of getting caught is making the people who are after them think that they're a whale or whales plural so they have their sound man sonar who's been

studying whales. I mean, luckily, than studying whales. No way. Yeah, I know. And he can mimic whales. That's what he does for, you know, for fun. And he mimics two whales in the submarine

so that the people after them think that they're just whales and not the sub at the bottom of the ocean. Duh. Now, obviously, I've given you the highlight of down periscope, the whales. scene so that we could get the audio ready for you. Now, you're telling me that this would not be good audio as a doorbell.

Now, this way, he's getting ready. Okay, I mean, let's just the suspense from, and he's moving all around the submarine, so it's like two. See? The guy's after his biologic. Sounds like a whale. See?

Must be a whale that's moving around. Yeah, it's moving around. Oh, there's your clicking. but still see how it sounds like there's two of them see outstanding

you never seen that documentary no I haven't okay so obviously my doorbell would leave out the audio from the documentary other than just the whale sounds the clicking that he actually did he did do some clicking but he did other sounds as well

it sounded like a car like a racetrack was happening at the bottom of the seat that's what it sounded like That was Harlan Williams is the comedian that was playing sonar in the documentary Down Periscope. I met him once, but I had him come into the radio station and I was working at him doing a morning show. Yeah, I want to meet Harlan Williams. He's the whale guy. That's really?

That's what you said. It's the only reason I wanted to me. It was the whale guy. He wanted to talk about new material and everything. No, no, no, no, dude, down Periscope. Dude, I need you. I need you. Harland.

Yeah, yeah, the funny new bit stuff. It's funny, but no. No, no, no. I need the click in, too. Hold on. Yeah, right there. So, by the end, he's just like, come and see me tonight.

So, I mean, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. That's all I know. I'm just looking at, I was just walking down memory lane here for the documentary down Periscope. Yeah, we are.

We still are on this. Did I play music? Did I play music? Yeah, you did. I did play music. That's not important because while the music was playing, I'm looking at the cast of Down Periscope just to refresh my memory. And I mean, I own a copy of a DVD somewhere in my house. DVD?

Hmm. I know. Well, this was, this documentary was made in 1996. Yes, you had a tape. No, I never had the, I don't think I ever had the tape. The VHS. I don't think I ever had that. But I do have the DVD.

They don't have the digital copy. So Kelsey Grammer, stars in the Kelsey Grammer. Who's that? Give me something else. Turn your mic off. If you're listening to this broadcast and you don't know who Kelsey Grammar is. I still want you to subscribe, but I don't want you to listen. Rob Schneider, Harry Dean Stanton, Bruce Dern, William H. Macy.

I mean, those people alone. And that Rip Torn. And Harlan Williams, the whale guy. I mean, come on. Well, that documentary is tremendous. I forgot about Rip Thornto. He was great in that movie. So good.

All these characters were really good in this movie. Go ahead. Oh, I know him. Did you look up Kelsey Grammer now? Yeah, I know him. I just don't know his. Yeah, shut your mic off. We're still on this?

Is that what we're doing? Seriously, we're still going on this? Because I was done with it. Who played the ball guy? Harlan Williams. Harlan Williams. And I play music again. And like,

look, I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you about this documentary forever. Really? That was him? I don't know him. I love this movie.

I don't know Harlem Williams. I thought I did. I don't know him. I don't know what he's worked on. Well, outside of being whale guy in this documentary, he's a comedian.

And what are people known him for? The whale guy. I can see that because he does not have a good background of movies. He has dumb and dumber, 94, half bake, 98. He's kind of funny.

He's had some good, He's had some good. His comedy routine was okay. You know, he wasn't, it wasn't unfunny. He did some good stuff. But again, he's a whale guy. That's all I care about. I think we should move on.

Whatever. I mean, I'll talk about Donald Periscope. Because Kelsey Grammer, who plays Tom Dodge in the movie, is known because at one time he was out in the waters in a nuclear sub and brushed against. a Russian sub. Oh, what's that called? Red State? No, red something, red dawn, response. Don't go start mixing documentaries. But in the documentary Down Periscope,

after he did this, he went out and got really drunk and put a tattoo on his sperm whale thing. And so he's known for having a tattoo on his thing in the movie. That's in the documentary. And so when Rip Torn, the head guy, the naval officer wants to try to avoid and get rid of one of the other guys. He was, oh, don't think like that.

Think like a man with a tattoo on his. If I got the right, man. Yes, sir, you do. You do. In all honesty. When was the last time you watched this movie? I love this movie. I don't know.

I don't know. And you still know this. I love this movie. Wow. I love this movie. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. I love.

There's other great. There's other. be, Snyder. Yeah, I like Rob Schneider. He's a great, a great character in this movie.

Now the cook is, is, if you're looking at him! No, I've got to stop now. Pat and ass bullets on it? I told you that this is a great movie with a great cast

and should be watched and should be known. on top of the fact that this all just started because I wanted the whale guy as a doorbell. If there was ever proof that Jeff Bezos thinks he's going to lose a bunch of cash in the divorce to the wife, the impending divorce to the wife,

they just dumped their NYC headquarters. They were going to move to New York. Remember the big hoodah, hooda, Amazon coming to New York. And the opening news train station? 25,000 jobs. We're going to make sure the train stations are fresh and new and spiffy. We've got all people were investing in condos and spending all these new buildings are going to be going up and these old apartments are going to be worth all this money now.

Yeah. No. Now we're not coming to New York now. Sorry. Man, think of that, though. Just think if you were, because I would have been one. This is, this is perfect me. Amazon's coming here.

Cool. I was going to sell that building. No way I'm selling that building now. That building, I can revamp a couple of those apartments and we could make some, we'd be renting those bad boys out to 25,000 Amazon employees, right? Now you're stuck with that thing. Just.

That's the way Jeff's going to feel after he is no longer the richest man on the planet. Because, well, we've been through that divorce paper. I cannot wait for the divorce thing to have. I can't. And I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be, it's Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day. Oh my gosh, it's day. Holy cow, today is Valentine's Day. I feel like that you forgot. And this will be for you. Did you forget? I mean, that's stupid. This is to think of someone would forget Valentine's Day. Glenn had like three people on his show today. They all forgot. Those people are. They're so dumb.

So dumb. Oh, wow. I believe somebody was... You forgot. By the way, now that you're talking about that, did you know that New York lost $2.3 billion in tax revenues? Ooh.

Yeah, Cuomo announced that. I'm like, ugh. Makes you think why MSM was like, I know. I'm not staying here. Well, look. You know, Amazon was going to have some kind of tax deals anyway. That's why those companies move in and they get all kinds of deals. A nice deal.

But they're still, look, you give Amazon, you can be pissed about giving a company like Amazon a tax break. The 25,000 employees working there weren't getting tax breaks. No, they weren't. They were paying their taxes. They were paying to ride the subways and ride the trains and paying to eat there and paying to live there and paying to do every damn thing else there. So that income is gone. now, but I mean, it would have been there. That's why you give those big companies the tax breaks.

So that they bring in other 20,000 people. Thank you. It's the whole, I get it. But people have been moving out of New York now and New Jersey. Goodbye. My nice day. I wonder why that would be. Let's see.

You've got communist as a mayor of New York City. You've got a baby killer as a governor. that, I mean, he's a proud, proud, proud Catholic, believes in the Lord, believes in Catholics. Oh, yes, absolutely. He's campaigned on it. It's a strong Catholic. Devout, devout Catholic. Devout.

New York. Devout Catholic. And, of course, that's why he is for, you know, late-term abortions. Baby killing. That's why he's bad. Well, late-term abortions. Don't try to make it into something ugly. be killing. And

you know, goodbye, have a nice day. And they're also, you've got you've got the wannabe communist that wants to make everybody believe that she just, we're just for the people. Cortez. Nightmare. I'm sorry.

All the things are a nightmare. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. I apologize. And then you have the former senator from the great state of New York, Hillary Clinton. Former president of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. It's time to get out of that state.

Holy cow. Al Franken, is he still there? Franklin, Franklin wasn't from New York. Although he might have moved back to New York, but he was a senator from like Minnesota, right? He wasn't, he was a senator from Minnesota. He wasn't, he was just on Saturday Night Live, bro. He just worked at New York.

Yeah, he just worked in New York. I mean, that's, you know, good for him. Yes. You know today's Valentine's Day? Happy Valentine's Day. I thought you would, like, do a show about love. I know that's what my wife wanted. Oh, my God, yes.

Hold on. Hold on. Wait a minute. Wasn't she supposed to be here to do the show with you? Yeah, on Valentine's Day. Yeah, today. Oh, my gosh, today is Valentine's Day. Yes.

Oh, man. Where is she? I know she's short. She in there? I don't see. Really a short, Joe. Yeah. Really, that goes over good.

Don't worry. Of course it goes over because she's short. You're short. Thank you. Yeah, no, she's busy, though. I wanted to. Man, did I want to do a Valentine's Day show? Bad, you know.

And we've done it once before. I know. She said you guys used to do it all the time. Oh, that's a stretch. We used to do it all the time. That's what she told me. She told me you guys did it all the time. She wasn't talking about the Valentine's Day broadcast.

Oh, okay. But the, we did, you know, as a show, I think, what we could buy and, you know, the gifts and the cool gifts and the bad gifts and stuff. And did you know that Hooters is giving away 10 boneless wings? Ooh. We stop into Hooters and say, hey, it's Valentine's Day and I'm single. Oh, you have to be single? Yeah.

Have to be single. Yeah, well, no, you have to tell them that you're single. But I can't do that because I have, like, a wedding ring tattooed on my fingers. So? So, I tattooed on your fingers. Oh, yeah, I'm single. She left me. Where's my wings?

What an idiot I was to have this tattooed on my finger. Where's my wings? Is it normal wings? Can I add D? Because I don't like the normal wings. You know, Hooters started in Tampa Bay when I worked at Tampa Bay, so they used to be on all the time, and I used to have a VIP discount card.

Of course you did. Of course you did. Any Hooters, 10% off everything. Nice. It was a nice card. Nice. I love that card. 10% only?

I figure you would. would talk yourself into at least 30. It might have been more, actually. I have a feeling is more because it's you, Jeff Fisher. I can't remember. I don't think Jeff Fisher's that. You're right. 10% doesn't sound right.

That's what I'm saying. 10% covers like what, maybe half of the tax? But it was still nice. Even if it was 10%. It was nice. I used to get a card every year from Hooters' corporate headquarters. Dear Hooters, I'm still here. Still alive.

Where is my... You're not... Well, they finally killed you with all those free, I mean with that card. I know, thank you. But he just ate himself to death. There was one down the road from the radio station that we may have frequented from time to time. Their wings are okay. They're not, I'm not a big fan.

They're okay. But they had a pressed ham and cheese sandwich hot, so good. Ooh, like a grilled cheese like that? Grilled ham and cheese bread was so good. I had that before once or twice few times

more yeah there we go that sounds better did you know that chucky cheese yes what do you mean yes you didn't even know what I would say I saw the story

I saw the story I know but inside that story there was a news pit that I didn't know okay so the story itself is that they're recycling their pizzas all right and they're denying it yes because they've got some a conspiracy

YouTuber that's saying that he went in and found that they were recycling their pizzas. Okay. Whatever. By the way, someone in this company used to work for Chuck E. Cheese, maybe we can ask him. Who was that? HR.

He used to be the HR for Chuck E. Cheese. Really? And he has stories. So maybe we ask him about pizza. Ooh, that's a good idea. Because you know, if you have a problem with the pizza, you go to HR.

Yeah. So anyway, obviously, Chuck Echise is denying it. And I like Chuckie Cheese. Let me rephrase it. I like the idea of Chuckie Cheese. You go there, the kids get the stamp, you get the stamp. They run around and play.

They play the little silly games. You can play some silly games. They climb around. They get their pizza. Happy birthday to you. Giant rat comes out and you have a little birthday cake. And you go play some more and you go home. And you don't have to worry about the kids leaving because nobody gets out.

Nobody gets out unless they got the same stamp on. You know, that's pretty good. It's not armed security at the Chucky Cheese gate. So I guess it is possible that something bad could happen. But most times it's not, right? I mean, the people, the young kids working at the front gate are really diligent about that. Oh, yeah, they take that seriously. Yeah, and they should.

And I appreciate that. So they, and so now they claim that they're recycling their pizza. Okay, well, even if they are. So. It's Chuckie cheese pizza. Really? So we all know. But inside this story, it talks about how Chuckie cheese you could now have it delivered to your home.

Did you know that? Now, raise your hand if you really have ever thought to yourself, you know, I really want some pizza tonight. You want, look, so we get pizza hot. We can get Papa Johns. We get dominoes. We can even stop by the little Caesars on the way home and get pizza. Or we can go to Chucky Cheese

and have them deliver it to the house. I wonder if you have to wear the rat suit bringing it to the house. I was just going to ask that. Was it a Ratmobile? Oh, I like that. The Chucky Cheese pizza It's not where it says pizza delivery on the house.

They have the magnet that has the giant rat head on it. That would be great. But you might be get confused by the Pet Sterminator though. Well, the exterminator. has a... A rat. It's a different kind of...

It's not Chuckie cheese, though. You call it a rat. It's a different kind of rat. I think you could know the difference, right? Maybe not in today's world, though. You might not. So you're right. You have to...

You have to drive around to the suit. Who's ordering pizza? Who's ordering pizza with a pet exterminator? Yeah, you have to... You have to deliver the pizza in the Chuckie cheese suit. Now, that, that I would pay for. Yeah, that I would pay for. just to have the person.

Why does it have to be a guy? The person show up in the chucky cheese outfit. Wow. You know what? Happy Valentine's Day to you. You know, today's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. Oof.

Happy Valentine's Day. It's a good thing that I have got to be here all night. No, no, you don't. I got to be here all night long. There's no place I have to go. I mean, I've got work to do. If I could, if I didn't have the work to do, I'd go home. We could celebrate.

We're almost done. We're almost done. We should be done the next three minutes. So you have time. If I just tell people, hey, thanks for listening to chewing the fat. Yeah. Subscribe to the podcast, please. You know, a lot.

I hate begging. But you're not begging, though. I really hate begging. Isn't begging? You have to get on your knees and like, please, please. subscribe. You're not doing that. You're sitting down. I'm not getting out my knees. That's what I'm saying. I'm not getting on my knees. You need new knees.

And by the way, inside baseball, Jeffie says that every single day. He needs new knees. No, a new knee. New knee. My right knee is bad. But anyways, you're not begging. You're just telling people. All right. Then I'm not begging. I'm just telling you. Subscribe to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. And really, if you already subscribe, get someone else to is where I think this could be the best Valentine's Day gift. That, my friend, is a great idea. When you rate, review, and share, in fact, today you should reverse that.

Share, first email address that pops up, send it to them. Thinking to you, happy Valentine's Day. I mean, nothing says Valentine's Day like chewing the fat.