Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 290 | Baby Joey Hunter Biden Prostitute, Library Takes The Win, & Stu Does America | Guest: Stu

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

Hunter Biden, YOU ARE THE FATHER! and YOU HAVE TO pay child support and back pay. A new study shows that people went to the library more often than movie theaters. Do you agree with this study? Jeffy doesn't agree and he questions THE ENTIRE study because it has Zoo's at the bottom of the survey. Special guest stops-by to talk about the latest things on pen, Super Bowl, and Miami, FL. Get your very own NancyPelosiSucksPen.com for your favorite liberal/progressive. Make sure to buy in bulk because time is RUNNING out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. So I was reminded last night as I was just sitting at the dining room table and the TV's on in the front room and the movie The Illusionist came on. One of my, I mean, it's way back in 2003, I think or something, a hundred years ago. But, and the movie is okay. It's a good movie. I enjoyed it. Why are you looking to me like that? I enjoyed the movie.

She's hot. I enjoyed the heck out of the movie. But one of my favorite all-time movie scenes is in that movie. The first introduction of him at the theater by Eddie Marsan, who is Joseph Fisher in the movie. Life and death. Space and time. Fate and chance. these are the forces of the universe.

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a man who has unlocked these mysteries from the furthest corners of the world where the dark arts still holds sway. He returns to us to demonstrate how nature's laws may be bent. I give you... Well, I mean, he says Eisenheim,

but I'm saying... Chewing the fat! Today. We have, I was so looking forward to. You better start with the good news. Well, it's just in the same story. Same story. Good and bad news.

Same story. I was so looking forward to tomorrow because Hunter Biden was supposed to show up at court in Arkansas. That was his court date. He was supposed to show up, have his papers, it was going to be a big deal. And remember I had said, I just, dude, what do you?

you doing? Just pay her. And so now both parties have come to an agreement in the paternity case. Guilty, guilty, guilty, county. Well, he's admitted. You know, I mean, it's already, the DNA test is already. It's his kid. All right. So the first payment is due on February 1st. And how much? Drum roll, it doesn't say. Oh, what the hell. Now, originally she was asking, I think, for 11 grand a month. Ooh. I think that was the original plan. So, how was the baby? The first 17 months old. That's a lot of money for a 17-month-old. I mean, what's the kid's supposed to starve? 11-100 is like a house payment.

No, $11,000 a month. Well, you say $1,100, baby. No, I didn't. Play back to tape right now. You pissed me off now. I said $11,000. Seriously. So if I did say $11,000, it was a misspeak.

And don't be doctor in it. Just play it back. I'm not. Here we go. You ready? You ready for the truth? Here we go. Same story.

Good and bad news. Same story. I was so looking forward to tomorrow because Hunter Biden was supposed to show up at court in Arkansas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got that. We're supposed to show up, that was his papers, it's going to be a big deal. And remember I had said,

I just, dude, what are you doing? Just payer. And so now both parties have come to an agreement in the paternity case. Guilty, guilty, guilty, county. Well, he's admitted. You know, I mean, it's already, the DNA test is already, his kid. All right. So the first payment is due on February 1st. And how much? Drum roll please. It doesn't say. Oh, what the hell? Now, originally she was asking, I think, for 11 grand a month.

Thank you. Thank you. Don't do it. Yes, you've won. Congratulations. You were correct and he was wrong. Okay, so. So I apologize. Actually, I was wrong. I didn't say a lot. I didn't say a lot. 11,000. I said 11 grand. I can see while you could make that mistake up. Holy cow. So anyway, the first payment is due February 1st. Was it worth it? What's it worth it? Yes. I think so too. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Absolutely. So the first payment of child support is due first of February. Okay. But now the rest of it, all the back Pay, attorney's fees.

Yes. Back pay to... When he was born. Yeah. So 17 months. March 1st. So he's got an extra month. To grab up 11 grand times...

What, 170,000? 180,000? A couple of times. He might have to sell that Porsche. He was pictured getting out of. Yep. You never know. So then...

Do you call uncle? I mean, Daddy, Joe. That's already done. Already had done deal. Really? Yeah, it's already done. That's why he made the deal. I mean, seriously, I mean, Joe was like, a hunter, look.

You messed up. The new woman is pregnant. She's the DNA is your kid. Just pay her. We don't want this on the docket anymore. I'd like to be president. You already messed up in Ukraine. The whole thing is shot to hell.

Just pay this woman. Get her. Get this out of the news. Yeah, no, that's what you meant. I think he was like, you just pay that bitch. No, no, no. He said, well, play that back. Bitch.

Oh, no, I was wrong. So. Remember, he's middle class joke. So he's going to say bitch a lot. Now, if he provides all the outstanding discovery and ordered documents by 5 p.m. on March 1st that relate to the failure, then all the hearings are going to go away. But if he doesn't, eh, eh, everything goes still on the die. Everything right. Now is still on the docket for March 13th.

So he doesn't have to show up tomorrow and he pays her the first round of 11,000 grand. February 1st and then retro by March 1st with whatever documentation. I don't know what all the judge wants because he's going to pay the bill. He says, I'm paying her. Get over it. This is how I'm going to pay her. Then it goes away and he's done. so they're very disappointing man did i want him to show up in jail

in jail i mean in court oh yeah with with the documents and i just i just wanted it to happen and now it's yeah he can't get those documents released but good for good for her absolutely and baby joe yeah good for baby joe and for grand baby joe oh baby joe yeah baby joe she better name him baby jones little baby hunter yeah we don't we don't know the kids name I know. That better be Joe. And you know what?

I give him. We call him Joey. I give him also the Biden last name too, by the way. I give him Biden last name. Well, at least in there, right? Like Joey Biden. Middle name. Hunter.

Biden, her last name. Joey Hunter, Biden, Stripper. Oh, she better run with that. That's a good name. That name is going to get him so many reality shows. Oh, so bad. Yeah, write that down.

So bad. Plus, he's got the new woman pregnant, getting ready to have another kid. I mean, Hunter, what are you doing, dude? Go back to smoking crack. I mean, the whole drug thing with Hunter, you can go back, episode 227. Oh, look at you. Chewing the fat. And that's two days in a row.

I do a special. I do a special on Hunter Biden and his history, which is incredible. and you can go back and listen to that and listen to his history. Yeah, what we'll do is if you're a subscriber, we'll replay that whole Hunter Biden on Friday on the Blaze Radio Network. We'll make it a special on Friday.

See how good that is? We'll make it a Friday special. It'll be Hunter Biden. Nice. Yeah. You're welcome. That's all I'm saying. You're welcome.

Now, to subscribe and stop, you know, being a... Look, don't look at me like, what, I'm listening to the show, I count, no, not unless you're a subscriber. I mean, sure you count in the... Listened. And this is not Netflix.

This is not Netflix where we change our, you know, our metrics, not to count you. And by the way, you have to listen to the whole show. More than two minutes. More than two minutes. Yeah, you have to listen to the full show. This is not... Yeah, we are...

And I'm sorry, if the guy from Africa has time to listen to the full show... show. Well, he's an ambassador now. I'm not sorry. Oh, oh, sorry. A CTF influencer ambassador now. Ambassador Brock. If Ambassador Brock can listen to a full show in Africa, if you're in the States, you're at,

you can listen to the full show. He's over, dodging, you know, bows and arrows and rocks. Like, I don't think that's... No, he said he's in Africa, right? He's in... Yeah, Bose and arrows. What used to be Swaziland. So... Yeah, bows and arrows. And rocks. Okay.

I think we're I think we've gone past that actually. Oh, they hit the Iron Age, so they just throw in swords and shields. Yes. Nice. Well, welcome, Africa. That's why they change their name. That's why it's not Swaziland anymore.

Wow. Okay. I get it now. Okay. Anyway, go to iTunes or go to, you know, Google podcast, Spotify, Spotify. Spotify. I have radio. I know we don't mention this name, SoundCloud.

If you liked SoundCloud, Spotify is legit the same. So go to Spotify. It's free. You can subscribe. For now, everything's free. Yes. For now. But Spotify, if you like, hey, Jeffrey, you know, but I like to SoundCloud, you know, platform, Spotify's the same thing.

Okay, there you go. Yeah. And look, I got nothing against SoundCloud except that anything that they do, they don't play. good with the other kids in the sandbox. They do not. So we want them, we want to, we want you to count. Yes. We want you to be a subscriber that counts.

If you're a subscriber on SoundCloud, you don't count. No. And you don't want to go through life not counting. Absolutely not. It's bad enough that you started off being just a freeloader and listening without subscribing. Right? Now you're subscribing on a, on a platform that doesn't count.

So go to the one that counts. Change your life. and stops in a loser. Don't follow that kid on the playground. Follow the other kids. Thank you. Yes. Thank you.

That's a kid that eats his boogers and the glue and it's licking the freaking cack poop from the sandbox. No. Don't be that kid. Don't be that kid. Don't be that kid. I told you that McKenzie Bezos was going to have a hard time surviving on the deal that she made.

I know that she, you know, made the deal. With husband Jeff, I told her she should have gone for half and she didn't. Now she only owns about 19 million shares, 19.7 million shares of Amazon. So that's only worth about 35.7 billion. And it's come to our attention that she's sold a couple hundred thousand shares of these. of the Amazon stock.

So again, struggling, trying to survive, trying to maintain the lifestyle that she's become accustomed to. She needed that extra $370 million to kick around, maybe a little vacation money.

Look, so she's one of the richest people in the world still. That's not the point. That's not the point. She's struggling. Being worth only 35.7 billion now. So I hope that she doesn't have to sell much more, and it's come to our attention, that Jeff now has sole voting rights for the company. Wow. Okay. So McKenzie gets, I mean,

she's out, except for, you know, owning 19.7 million shares of Amazon. That's it. That's it. That's otherwise she's out and struggling. So McKenzie, I know, you know, I know you were bummed that you didn't get invited to the after party of the Elfalfa club party this past weekend with Jeff and the hoity toots.

But easy. And if you need some help, just ask. I'm here for you. Because I know it's a struggle for you. And can you imagine? I mean, I just want to imagine. I want to step back for just a second and just imagine, just for a second.

So she drops 202,000 shares of Amazon for $370 million. What do you? I mean, and that's just another day. That's another day. She's got 19 million shares. This is another day, 370 million. I mean, that's, oh, yeah, you know, we wanted to go on vacation. I needed a new car.

And we needed to do some remodeling on the west wing of the house. It's getting a little grubby. Right? I mean, it's just, wow. That's why you should have went for half, baby. Told you. Should you win for half. That's why you do that to show off Jeff Bezos.

Hey, I'm still good. And look what I can do with your company. Yeah. Yeah, because he just got done remodeling the new house in D.C. I can do that too. Look at this. So she's going to throw a big party. She's going to remodel the west wing of McKenzie Mansion.

And she's going to throw a party. Invite the same people, but not him. But Disney will have special guests, Obama and Michelle. Because she's going to be a big guy. investor in their company, I bet. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what's going to happen. She will become some sort of investor or an executive producer of a new show that Netflix and the Obama are working on.

Maybe that's what the $370 million was for. Yeah. To fund the next project. Obama's needed a down payment on the joint and up of the Northeast. I'll take care of you, Barack. No problem. Sell a couple hundred thousand shares for you. Martha's Vineyard for the following couple weeks?

I want to, you know what? I'm not going to be able to make it, but the kids are going to be there. So bad. She should have went for half, baby. I'm telling you, I'm still on your side for that. That's very disappointing. See? And now you're coming back saying, you know, you were right, Jeff.

Yes, I was. So did you see where the Asker Meyer winner, Weenel got pulled over? And they got pulled over just to make it. a point. I mean, it happens all the time. We've talked about it even before. The last time I got pulled over, was it the last time I got pulled over? Yeah, the last time I got pulled over,

I asked the officer, because cars were driving by us fast in the lane right next to where he had me pulled over off the side of the road, and I thought, they're not supposed to be, they're supposed to be slowing way down or getting over. I mean, that's a law, right? And I asked him, and he said he's been hit a couple of times, and

you know, people do it all the time. So the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile up in Wisconsin there was a traffic cops had some people pulled over and the old Weiner Mobile didn't pull over a slow way to slow down enough I guess but he didn't pull over to the other lane.

So of course to make a point they pulled over the Weiner Mobile and you know make a big deal about it and if it was anything other than the 27 foot sausage mobile it would have just been another car. You think so? Yes.

This makes a bigger point. You pull this over, it makes a bigger point. It makes the news. It makes more people aware of the pullover law, and people need to do that. I mean, I think it's incredible that people don't do it, to be honest. It's frustrating when you have to do it, I know, because you're thinking, okay, I mean,

the guy's got somebody pulled over, big deal. Watch out for me, this time in the main road. Get out of the way, cop. But it's not the way it's supposed to be. But we love the cops. That's what I said. That's what I'm saying. I'm on their side.

So when they've got something pulled over, slow down, way down. If you cannot get over. But you need to slow down and get over. How many am I slowing down? If I'm going 65. Too fast. No, no, no. If I'm going 65 and there's a cop, I can't go to the other lane.

15. I drop 15 or two. 250. Oh no, baby, no. See, that's what I mean. I drop 15 miles. No.

So now I'm going. No. No, you got to drop down to 15. I'm going 50 now. If you got hit by a car doing 50, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

It's just a bump. It's a bump. You've got another story. Oh, I just got hit again. But 65, we've got damage. That's doing some damage. Yeah. No, I'm pretty sure.

I've got to look that up now, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to drop down to 15. Okay, in the state of Texas, if you cannot, you're supposed to vacate the lane closest to the applicable vehicles. So either stop down the right or the left. So whatever lane is closer to them, you're supposed to vacate that lane. All right. If you cannot.

You're about to bug me down with facts. You are to slow down to 20 miles per hour below the speed limit. Oh, so I was right. No. I was right. So if I'm going 65, I could go 50. The speed limit, if the speed limit is 65. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

It's 65 all away from where we are to our home. That's actually there are 70 in some places with the new signs. To put new signs? Yeah. I'll go 80. It doesn't matter. I use the HOV. If the speed limit is below 25 miles per hour,

okay? You got to slow down to five. So you basically walk in. Does your car even move at five? So you basically just pushing the car. You get it now? That's amazing, though, because I thought for sure that it slowed down to 20 miles per hour below the speed limit, that's nothing really.

I mean, you're still doing some damage if you hit something like that. No, no, it's been proven. If you get 50, just get a Bruce. If you get a 65, you're tearing limbs. I apologize. All right, so, you know, we see studies all the time. And I love them. And I love them.

And they say a lot about us and who we are and that kind of thing. But then they do they do. But then I see this study where I'm like, there's no way this study is real. See what I'm saying? No way this is real. In 2019, more Americans went to the library than the movies. There's no way that's true. That's big book.

I believe that people may have answered that in whatever survey. We'll dig down into where they, where this survey came. from and people have said, you know, do you go to the library last year and you're like, um, yeah. There's no way. Why do you get out of it by saying yeah? Oh, does it become smart? Yeah.

No, no. The library's not a smart thing to say. Sure is. Library's not like, oh, library's smart. Just two words does not come together. It means like library free books. That's what it comes together. Library free movies.

Visiting the library remains the book. most common cultural activity Americans engage in. That's a lie. It's called Netflix and Chill. It's called going to the bar. This is the most common cultural activity. Netflix and Chill is the most common. The average 10.5 trips to the library

U.S. Adults Report taking in 2019. Did you go to the library 10.5 times last year? Last year I went to the library three times. one of them to get the library card. I'm not talking about driving by one on the way home. Inside. I went inside. One of them was to get a library card for...

To get a book. So I had to go to the Roanoke Library. No, I'm sorry. I had to go to the Fort Worth Library because Roanoke would not give me a library card for free. Wait, what? Yes, because I'm not a citizen of Roanoke. Even though my address says Roanoke,

I'm part of the Fort Worth Library. So what? So, so this is my three visits to the library. I'm already pissed. The first library, Roanoke, that's one visit. Hey, I need a library card. No, you got to go to this one. And you have to have a Texas ID.

You have to have Texas ID, yes. So that's visit number one. It's a freaking library. Visit number two is me going to Fort Worth Library. Hey, I need a library card. Okay, here you go. Visit number three. Back to the Roanoke Library to rent, to take the book out.

Which you could do because you had a Fort Worth library card. Because I had a Fort Worth Library card. But they wouldn't issue you. No, because I'm not a citizen of the county of Roanoke. They will issue it to me. Roanoke is in a separate, is in a, you are a citizen of the county. No, I'm not. According to them, no, I'm not.

I fall under the Tarrant County that is not Roanoke. Dude, I went to. Once where Roanoke is in Denton County? Yes. Gotcha. So my taxes. You live in Terran. Yeah.

So my taxes don't pay for the library. So Ronok would have given it to me, but it would be 20. I'm not going to give him 25 bucks. Oh no? So I just drove to the Fort Worth Library. I come to think of it. Now that I'm thinking about it, I actually did go to the library multiple times last year.

You took my, yeah, didn't you? I went to the library. There's a library. How many times did we go? I bet you we went three or four times. Not ten and a half times though. No, no, no. And my three vets is just in one day.

It was because I was going back and forth. Right. So it wasn't like... Well, you didn't have to take the book back, or do you still have that? Probably. I still have that book. Or the wife dropped it out.

You owe $0.5. Oh, man. The library police are coming. More than that. I charge a fortune. You're going to check out on the Roanette fees, man. I got to check out. The Roanokee's looked that up online, man.

See how much you owe. I bet you you owe at least $20 right now. At least $20. Dude. That's theft. Man, that's... Man, that's... Ha ha ha ha.

Now the last... Dude is 25 cents per day. Okay. But the maximum fine is $10. Okay, so I'm good. So I owe them $10. So you walk in and give them the book and a $10 bill. And then you go.

There you go. Really? I didn't know they had a max fine? That's kind of ridiculous. That is ridiculous. I mean, it should be more than $10. No one of the library is making any money? So print and audio material, this is from the Roanoke Library.

It could be different from you. But print and audio materials that are late are $0.25. a day every time they're late, the maximum fine is $10 total. Videos and video games are 50 cents a day. The maximum fine is $10 total. So still $10? Yeah.

Weird. But is it 10 per item? Oh, yes. Because then now you're racking up. Yes. If you took out multiple books or multiple videos, yeah. That's, you know, that's 50 bucks. You're not reading five books in a month.

Not from the library. Not from the library. Oh, okay, okay. You know, you're getting, if we're doing, if we're reading material for the shows, we're absolutely reading five or more books a month. Yes, yes, yes. And you're, but the thing is, is you're not delving, you're delving into, you know, you're scheming.

Yeah, you're scheming. Yeah, you go, you go to the, whatever table of contents, you, oh, I like that title, like that title. Let me scheme through those pages. Because I'm almost, I actually have read the entire book of Immortality, Inc. I know, we're gonna have them back. Yeah, he's gonna be back. Well, someone had to get, someone had to get sick and get the gall bladder out.

Man, do I hate people that get sick? So America, back to our library. Oh, yeah, library. 10.5 times a year. 10.5 times this year, average. Americans attend live music or theatrical events and visit national or historic parks roughly four times a year on average.

I've done that. Museums and gambling casinos two and a half times a year. Trips to amusement or theme parks, one and a half times. and zoos oh man no one is going to the zoos oh man oh no

no one's going to the zoos that hurts how many people are gone to the zoos 0.9 well don't even get in a full day they're not even getting a full person like just half a person shows up not even a little bit more than

half a person so you got the head the shoulders the arms yeah he's missing the foots so he gets in a good job so yes he just comes a week

yeah That's not a wheelchair That's a little buggy over there Yeah, it's a power chair You gotta have the power chair at the zoo Oh yeah, you're freaking I have pushed people around the zoo In a wheelchair, it's not fun

No It's not fun So I mean zoos, what we gotta do? So I love zoos We talk to the zoos all the time I am a huge fan of zoos This is very disappointing The problem with the zoos are

They're not woke enough They're not woke enough for this They're not woke enough for this New society that we live See, that's why I think we get our thing started like they do in Tampa at the Lowry Park Zoo where they have the food thing. Oh, I thought you're talking about the fights. I'm okay with the fights too. No, because that's the only thing I remember from last year that we talked about, you know, put in a zebra versus a lion see who wins. I'm okay with that too. I remember that. I'm okay with that too.

And it's why we talked last year to naming the cockroach. Remember that? Yes. Neme the cockroaches. I love zoos. I'm a huge fan of zoos. You just need to get more woke. There has to be something. I have no idea what that means. You know what it means. He's just being a douche right now. You've been like that guy from yesterday. You've been that guy from yesterday.

All I know is I'm very disappointed that I only went to the library like four times last year. How many times did you go to the zoo last year? Last year's zero. No, no, not me. You personally. But my family. Oh, they did? Yeah.

Okay. My family, a couple times at least. I think last year. And out of town? Yeah, that's what we did. We went to the, your boys, where you sign is. Yeah, in Austin.

Yeah. Then went to the Houston Zoo. The Houston Zoo. The San Antonio and not the Houston Zoo, but the Waco Zoo is the one people we talked to and stuff. Those are really good to, yeah. The one that Houston is under construction. They're going to enter a brand new for the elephants.

And was highly disappointed because half it was close. Last time we went to the Fort Worth Zoo that I went, the one section, the elephants was closed. You could only get like just partial. Oh, okay. Some of the elephants. I don't like the Dallas.

Some of the elephants were off to the side smoking going, you can't see us over here. I was like, dude, I could see you. All I got to do is lean over this fence here. I see you. And they're back there smoking. I don't like the Dallas Zoo. I'll take this Fort Worth Zoo.

Fort Worth Zoo. Yeah. I don't know that I've been to the Dallas. So I've been, the last year I went to all four zoos. Yeah. Because Milo was here. He likes the zoo.

So more than point nine. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. See, this is a lie. Absolutely. People lying. I should have just. People are saying people are going to the zoo, but they're calling it the library.

So on that one, you had six people that went to four zoos just in my family. Yeah. That should have brought that up at least to like two. And I'm talking about what? Three, six went to two. Oh, come on. Yeah, that's a lot. People are lying.

Yep. They're calling. They're calling zoos libraries. And that's ridiculous. No, no. No, no. Come on in. No, no, come on. There's always time for you.

You know, always say that. And sometimes I think you're being sarcastic. No, no, no, no. But today I just feel like I was going to take advantage of it because, you know, you're so warm and inviting. Just do any time. Oh, thank you. You want to stop in and promote whatever thing you're promoting. You go ahead.

and stop in. So, I mean, you're still part of the radio show. I am, yes. That's a lot back radio show. Some of you are, anyway. And you've got, you've got what thing happening now, something? I mean, this is exciting. Why are you showing the skepticism?

No, I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head. Oh, Stu does America. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the excitement I walk from. Everyone's very excited about it. It's taking the nation by storm as we speak. You know, you've had your own.

show here for a little while. I don't know about that. It's not. It's not. I mean, I thought it was about time. They maybe threw a bone my way. These cameras in this room? Yeah, they don't work. They don't work. Nobody knows how to turn them on. Okay. So apparently. You feel like they're on. I do. I do feel like they're on. That makes you feel good. I would think. Yeah, starting up on February 4th. We're going to be doing, it's the day of the State of the Union. It's the day after Iowa. I thought I had seen where it was supposed to start before February 4th. I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't I don't heard any of the launch date promos or anything, but I was sure I saw like January something. January 21st was the, well, we went through several launch dates before we actually announced.

Then we were like, all right, January 21st. The issue was, and I brought this up a little bit afterwards, which was I'm looking at the calendar and I'm like, I'm going to start January 21st and do, I think it was approximately six shows before I would have to leave for the Super Bowl. And when I say have to, I mean have to. You don't have to Screw the stupid show. It's not a mandatory thing The Super Bowl. No, it is. It's tradition now, Jeffrey.

It's a tradition. This is what I tell my wife all the time. It's a tradition, honey. I can't. What am I going to do? Not go. You're about 20 years now, right? Not that many, but it's been along.

I mean, gosh, it's been, the first one I went to was the Eagles Patriots, which they lost 24, 21. And that was 2005? I think it was either 2004 or 2005. And I had one year I didn't go. Oh. The next year.

but then since then I've been to all of them. It was the Patriot. So actually the first one really doesn't count. Well, I count it for me, but it's not part of the tradition. The Seahawks Steelers Super Bowl I didn't go to. But everyone since then I've been to it. And, you know, now it's just like part of my life. I can't.

It's like part of my existence. If I weren't to go, it would be a tragic, tragic letdown. Seriously, would the Super Bowl even happen? Who knows? You know, if a tree falls and I'm not there to see it, does it make it? I mean, it's a big Super Bowl. in Miami. Yeah. It's a good game. Miami's a fun city for it too.

You know, it's Miami known for its exemplary service at restaurants, I've noticed, where, you know, you make a reservation at like seven. They take you around 9.30. They'll get you right in at 930. No, yeah, they're going to tell you you're going to get an 815, but they're going to get you in about 930.

And then the waiter comes over about 10, 15. The appetizers show up around 11. And then they kick you out because it's closing. But it's really nice. So that's, you know, it's a fun city though. I mean, it's hard to complain about Miami in the winter. No doubt about that. Like in that vibe.

I know you or like me, a fan of the warm weather. I am. So, yeah, we'll be doing that. And that'll be fun. And they'll come back Monday on a flight and then Tuesday the show starts. Yeah, because you don't, whatever you do, don't come back. For the Iowa caucus. I know.

Hey, you're going to do this political show. You're going to be talking about all the things happening in election. When are you going to show up? The day after the Iowa caucus. Well, what's there to talk about the day? of the Iowa caucus. People are going to be voting tonight. Behind doors.

We don't know what the results are, but look at these people walking in and and casting about that they're not going to tell you about. That is not exciting. Although it's a caucus, a little bit different than that. But so we're going to be doing that starting on February 4th. And I will say, bigger than this, because I'll tell you right now, Jeffrey, I'm thinking right now I get out of the broadcast business and get into the Penn Sales business, because this is the thing I apparently do well.

Oh, that's right. You're hawk of the Nancy Pelosi pens. This is what I do well. They're on sale, actually. I understand. Because the number one comment on all the videos we've posted for this Nancy Pelosi sucks commemorative impeachment pen. It looks just like the one she signed the impeachment articles. It just has the word sucks after it.

In the same font as her signature. So dumb. So dumb. But I mean, it made me laugh. And I'm like, maybe it'll make other people laugh. So people have been buying them. And it's funny because the number one comment is, oh, man, if these things were real, I'd buy a bunch. I'd hand them out to all my friends.

I'd leave them on my co-workers desk, and I'm like, I just keep replying. They are real. Click the stupid link. But they are. I mean, I've never seen anything like it. People really think Nancy Pelosi sucks. Maybe that's because she does, right? A very commonly held viewpoint among our audience.

So what do I have to do to get these pens now? I have to go to Nancy Pelosi suckspen.com. Nancy Pelosi suckspen. com. Because it's a pen. And on it says Nancy Pelosi sucks. So that's how you remember it. Nancy Pelosi sucks pen.com.

And it's marked out to 1940? Yeah, it was $1,940 originally. And it's been marked down to the year of her birth in 1940. Nice. That's just a commemorative item. It's like if you own a Barack Obama plate, if you own Trumpy Bear. Now these are authentic replicas. They're authentic replicas.

If you are a collector, Sure. You may notice subtle differences. For example, the word sucks. But other than that, they're almost exactly the fan. They're exactly the same. That she's using. And I mean, it's a bargain basement price. I mean, you're thinking about something that commemorate an important part of history.

It will tell all of your friends what side of history you're on if you have these. Because if you have the normal Nancy Pelosi pen, I don't know, maybe people won't know. But when they see this one, they'll know. Nancy Pelosi sucks. You must be a collector. Exactly. The distinction that comes along with this. I mean, I know you're a classy guy.

Oh. You swim in these circles all the time. Thank you. Fancy restaurants. Yots. I figured that's... I was going to ask where you're staying while you're in Miami because I know Jerry Jones took the yacht down.

Oh, did he? Just got to park offshore. I don't know where O'Reilly is staying at the Super Bowl. He said he was going to meet you in Orlando, but I was nice of him. But, you know, I don't know that he knows. Maybe he doesn't realize the game is a Miami. Maybe he doesn't, right? I have to tell him that because I don't really want to go all the way up to it's like four hours away. Yeah, that's a good piece. I really don't want to do that. Are you staying with Jerry? Yeah, I think I'm going to hang with Jerry a little bit, you know, as an Eagles fan, I'm sure allowed me on board. But yeah, we're going to stay in like downtown somewhere and, you know, there's so much to do. A lot of it's down on the Miami Beach, which is hard to get to during the Super Bowl. It's like it's really crowded. One of the things I want to do, though, Jeffrey, thinking about your son from back. in his playing days.

They have this party, first year of it, called Grunk Beach. Oh, nice. So Rob Grunkowski, they've cordoned off an area of beach for a Rob Grunkowski party.

That should be fun. That should be fun. Are you in on that? I want to get in on it. We're going to have to see. I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull it off. I'm going to try. I was thinking about this.

I was thinking about taunting people into subscribing to the YouTube channel, which, by the way, you can get all the episodes of Stu Des America free on the YouTube channel. That's the lost day to get on this? What was that? The launch day?

February 4th. You get all the episodes free if you sign up and subscribe at YouTube. And I was thinking, like, how can I taunt people into subscribing on the YouTube channel, like, by offering, like, various, like, photos from behind the scenes at parties and stuff? Like, maybe I can catch a celebrity in the middle of something. Maybe I can, you know, I don't know exactly what to do. I think Shaq's at one of the parties. Maybe, I mean, I can ask them probing questions.

You know, for the right price, Stu. Yes. And, look, I don't know what. what that price is right off the top of my head. But I can probably get you to the Grunk Beach Party. Really? Yeah. Well, you do have a connection.

That's correct. I do. That's interesting. I'm willing to work the Jeffie connection. I'm willing to lower myself to work the Jeffie connection. I just have to come up with the right price. And it ain't Nancy Pelosi sucks pent.com. I'll tell you that.

I'll get you one. I will get you one. I will get you one. So before I kick you out of here, I mean, thanks for stopping. is what I'm saying. I mean, it was nice to be invited. Who you pick for the game? And it's going to be a good game.

Kansas City, San Francisco, man. I'm telling you, I kind of want Kansas City. Oh, yeah. But San Francisco looks pretty freaking good. I got to say, it's an interesting game because I'm a huge, I'm basically a Chiefs fan right now. Like, I like the Chiefs. I like him anyway. I really like Andy Reid.

I want him to get a Super Bowl. I like Mahomes a lot. I love watching him play. He's just, you know, it's such a dynamic player. And they're one point favorite in the game, which is interesting because think of the profile of San Francisco's season. They go 13 and 3. So, you know, very good record, but not, you know, not like the 16 and no Patriots. However, they lose all three games on the last play, basically.

They lose a last second field goal in overtime, another last second field goal, and then that Julio Jones touchdown against Atlanta, which by one inch they lose. So they're basically as close to undefeated as you can get when it comes to a 13 and 3 team. Then they go into the playoffs and destroy two teams easily. Then they go into the Super Bowl as an underdog. I know. And Kansas City struggled in both games going into the Super Bowl. Behind by double digits in both games. Now, they're an explosive team and they're exciting.

And, you know, look, Mahomes is so good. I think it's the Mahomes factor. I think maybe San Francisco should be favored by three in this game. I think you can make the argument. But really good team in Kansas City is this is a great game. I think a lot of people are overlooking the fact that Garapolo can actually play. People are thinking, oh, we only throw in the ball eight times, and he's a game manager. He's not a game manager.

He's a solid quarterback. He's not in the homes. By the way, so? Yeah, right, exactly. If you can win, I mean, Terry Bradshaw won a Super Bowl, throw in the ball, what, 12 times? Ben Rufflesberger was, what, eight of 20 in his first Super Bowl? You know, Terry's only won four. And he's won four.

Terry did not play well in the first two, I think. Second two, he played really well. Yeah, well, they had the steel curtain. They didn't have to do anything. Yeah, yeah. But so, I mean, I think it's an interesting game. I kind of have a slight favorite for San Francisco, but I'm desperately wanting Kansas City to win. So that's where my rooting interest is.

It would be fun. Where are you on it? It'll be fun. I thought I want Kansas City. I want to move for Kansas City. But I, because I don't know. San Francisco doesn't excite me. Yeah.

I don't really like them as a team. But they're good. I know. That's what I'm saying. It wouldn't surprise me to see them just run 8,000 yards and win the game. And I guess the other deep question we have while we're talking about football, where's our lunch from Keith? We,

I was, I'm unbelievable. I do my chewing the fat segment tomorrow on a pet unleashed. I was going to ask that question. Now, he'll use my, oh, you just had surgery excuse. But it's time. Are you off the kale yet? Is it all kale still?

Well, still. I mean, you look like you're only eating kale. You know me and kale. Your physical appearance looks like someone who's only eating kale. Wasting away. You have lost some weight for sure, though. I mean, is it, you're going to make it through this? I mean, I'm not sure which way to root on this one, but I'm curious as to how it's going to turn out.

I don't know why you would be Rudy. It's like the game. I'm not sure which one's going to win. I can see life and death back and forth. Either way, I'm stepping over your fat. It's all good. Yeah. It's all good.

Yeah, the cardboard diet is. is gone. Okay. And we're bad. I mean, I was really concerned that the cardboard diet was actually going to happen for a long period of time. No,

gosh. And, uh, no, please know. Then, uh, I,

and I lived the clear liquid thing for after getting out of the hospital for a couple of days. And I called for the update and the nurse was like, well, no, you should be able to eat what you want now. I was like, that's not what the doctor said. And she was, I'll check with him.

And she called me back. He said, oh, you'll be fine now. Yes. Nice. So there's really anything, I mean, I can eat whatever I want. There's only been a few things that after I'm done eating, it hasn't made me sick or anything, but I'm like, I'm probably not going to eat that anymore. Yeah, we were reading good because Glenn was trying to tell me that for the rest of your life all you could eat.

Well, at the time when he was in the hospital, I thought that's what's going to happen. Oh, wow. God, that's not good for you. I mean, I was ready for him to actually just put the pillow over my head before he left. Just ended. What else are you alive for other than to eat? And that's the main purpose. of being alive.

Look, it's been well over a year since I've even had a cigarette. And now, then I was looking down the barrel of cardboard diet. You get up all your vices. I know.

All your vices. Jeffie's now basically a Puritan. That's, that's Jeffrey. That's what I am. That's what he is. That's what Turing the Fed is now.

It's a Puritan show. Yes. He's a clean eater. Never uses foul language. Stu, you know what? Look at the time. I can't, man, I wish you could stay longer.

Well, thank you. And I appreciate you giving me this opportunity. This is the time is. This has been great. And we're running out of tape. We're running. We can't record it. We're recording on tape again?

Yeah. No, we're done with the digital. Yeah. Oh, wow. And I wish we weren't because then we wouldn't run out, but we are today. So, man, have fun. I will.

Good luck on that. Stu does America. February 4th. Sign up on YouTube. Wherever you get your podcast. You're probably listening to a podcast right now. You should just get it. Just stop this one immediately and go over and

click subscribe and then you can come back to this one if you want. And then of course, Nancy Pelosi sucks pen.com. Thank you. I did not think he would ever leave. Oh, man. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review this. Download and subscribe to more content. I just said that at the blaze.com slash podcasts.

Do it. And I've got like a thousand stories. Wait, yesterday you had 100. Well, it went up. It went up. Busy. Let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, sixteen, sixteen, eighteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-five, twenty-six,

that I've saved for royal stories. Just up, you know, just, oh, I should say that so I can. And I got like six in my head that you probably have. You know, and I was just going to, what I was going to do is just go through the headlines. because we don't need to, I mean, look, I know that many of you frown upon the Royals. They're dicks. I mean, sorry, I didn't need to say that. Sorry.

We can edit that out. But. It pisses me off, though. Shut up. I mean, there's so much good stuff. We're not doing it. So many things have gone. I'm not, look, and I'm not, look, you may think I'm doing this show for you.

No. This is for you, Jeffrey. This is your outlet. Yes. And you talk about what the heck you feel like it. And right now, the royals are like an episode of General Hospital. If I freaking hear one more, one more. 1776.

Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, no, that too. Oh, okay. If I'm freaking here. Prince Andrew has provided zero cooperation in the Epstein Pro. No kidding. Why would he? Yes.

Why would he? I'm sorry. I'm a prince. I don't need to respond to you. Bye. Don't even answer to the call. Call her idea. We've tried to get a hold of him in contact with him.

Oh, what a shame. He changed his number. What a shame. Right. Call back later. Call back later, yeah. Do you put the area code at zero zero? I'm sure you're doing that.

Let me do the... Zero one-one. I mean, access code. It's ridiculous. And you have to have a password, you know, because you're dialing overseas. so you're getting the right password Just the quick headlines The first story that I have said is Camilla

I mean It's just Camilla I don't even want to open the link I just want to know This is this isn't what she asked Are you going to miss Harry and Megan And it took her like two seconds to say Of course

Yes That probably is what that is Yes I'm sorry why are you asking If she's going to miss it She's the new deal now, right? Then there's, Harry was supposed to be Williams' wingman.

Oh, yeah, that's true. So William is feeling, the reports are that William is a little bummed that he and the bro are, they're still bros, obviously. No, they're not bros. No, they are. You know, that is the ugly duckly. The black sheep. Is that what they call it in the United Kingdom? Yes, the ugly duckling.

It's the ugly duckly. Ugly duckly. The black sheep. You realize that. The Lugness Monster. Weird. I didn't realize that So then we have We've got stories about who are Harry and Megan Yeah who are there I mean civilians

Yeah right I mean they're down to nothing now Well except for daddy's give him a stipend And Canada's gonna pay for them Megan and Prince Harry Rogue Royal And also a royal Discomfort for Britain

I mean they're paying back they're paying everything that they did to the house they're paying back as taxes so Megan Markle dad accused his daughter of destroying the royal family and he called that one oh yeah he did he called that one yeah he did um the u.s britain royals here i don't know what that story is i don't care uh prince harry feels great sadness in his decision that he and megan made No other choice. There was, baby. No, there was no other choice.

Listen to your father when he told you you don't marry those kind of people, actresses. Okay, actresses. Yeah. Yeah, actresses. What were you thinking? I don't know. I don't know. That's why I had to stop.

You seem to like to pause. Megan Markle, millions, lawyers, web experts. They're going to make it for it. Yeah, yeah. They did a breakdown. We already told you. Yeah, yeah. They did a breakdown of what they're going to do.

just let you know Netflix already contacted them and they're going to follow and I quote the Obama's playbook Yeah of course I wonder how Elton is doing

because that's you know that's one of the the people that I know he's one of the the godparents I know so what is he thinking

I know I mean Elton's got to let it ride right he's got because he could be torn Well, and he's part of, you know, it's Sir Elton. Sir Elton, so he's part of the... Yes, he is. Not the court, but he's part of the elites of Brits.

I mean, Elton shows up. If he shows up, the door opens. Yeah, this is the guy that witnessed the queen slap and Denise. I'm the queen and you do what. And Elton was there. Elton was there. Right there. And if we're seeing that,

let me he's in the bag. I know. Unofficially, you know, he's part of the Queen's court. Prince Charles warns Megan and Prince about one thing before leaving the royal family. Let's open up that way. That one looks delicious.

Let's open up that way. Because I bet you it is you will never come back. Warren, you could never sit at a table that I've had again. You little, no, that's what I says. No.

Oh, no. Prince Charles issues this one, warning to Prince Harry and Megan Markle. There will be strict instructions on branding. Well, yeah. And that's one thing that they want. So that's one thing. My idea, my idea of

Harry becoming Burger King probably not going to happen. Yeah, I feel like they're going to be, you can't have anything that has like royal in it. that you can become the king of Burger King. Right. You're not going to be able to have

according to this story, no one wants to see the sausage kicks on the tub of margarine. I disagree with that, however, because I want to see that. I want to see that and I want to purchase.

I want to see what kind of butter they're selling. I do too. Because there's one thing that we talked about. Marjor was not butter, by the way, it was different. Yeah, that thing too.

You know what I meant. You're freaking douche, dude. You like that guy from yesterday. I'm just saying it. Anyways. But one thing that they were focusing on is merchandising. And they want to merchandise.

Oh, yes. That's what the money is. Even though they're not part of the royal family, they get to keep Duke and Duchess. No way. Yes. They're not keeping their Duke and Dutch. He gets to keep the Duke. He's the Prince.

She is nothing. So she gets to keep, they get to keep the Duke and Duchess. Is that actually true? Yeah. I thought they had this conversation. to go away after the... No, the only thing that... I thought they get to keep it until the spring.

They lose your royal highness. That's what they lose. But they get to keep the Duke and the Duchess. Okay. You say that. According to this, a week ago, the queen is considering... Oh, she's considering stripping them of that. Yeah.

Okay. But they get to keep that. The queen is not going to let that. I think the queen says Harry keeps and Megan does not. But then that makes him a single, you know, that he doesn't belong to anything. And he's just this guy living a sinful life because he doesn't have a duchess. All right. Whatever.

Whatever. I disagree with that. Get the queen on the phone. And of course we had the story where the queen fell ill right after all of this. Well, all that emotions. Right. I'm telling you, Megan will be the death of the queen. Yeah.

And Prince Philip is like. Heck yes. And so is Charles. That's why Charles is all for it, man. Please, please, I want to be king. Which, by the way, I believe it was last week. The queen is the highest person to be on throne for like thousands of days. Last one was held by...

Oh, she's held the throne for the longest. She broke the record. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a couple of weeks. ago. Good for her. Wow. I mean, that's great.

Seriously, look at Charles and tell me that's a bad idea. No, it's not. Now, we also know that, of course, I'm surprised

it's not Oprah, actually. But Ellen is going to get the first interview with Megan. Yeah, it has to be Ellen. I'm surprised it's not Oprah. It has to be Ellen, though. It has to be Ellen. I mean, in today's world,

it kind of does, right? Yeah. Because Oprah, remember, doesn't have a show anymore. Yeah, but she's good. And Oprah does have a... Oprah sits down, does an interview. Nobody going to take it?

No, she does. Yeah, she shows up on 60 minutes. She shows up on CBS, right? No. Yeah, she does. No, she does her things at Apple TV close. I just saw a thing not long ago. Well, maybe because she was a guest in there.

No, she was, no, no. Remember, she's on tour. We're stopping right now. I know she's on the fat people tour. I mean, the wait watchers be great about yourself to her. Not the fat people do. That's the fat tour. That's what it is.

Oprah and I have a birthday coming up. Oprah. You guys share the same day? CBS. Same year? 60 minutes. Watch 60 minutes from Oprah steps away from 60 minutes. Oh, look at that.

No, she stepped away from that. Hey. Look at that. Watch Oprah's work on 60 minutes. Oprah explains your accent from CBN. All right, so I was watching an old 60 man. Yes, you were. It was a rerun.

It's called a rerun, Jeff Fisher. Even then, I went, Oprah's on 60, man. Because the only thing that she has is the book club that she does on Apple TV. Okay. That's the only thing that she has. And the fat people, too. And if you almost have a wait watcher, too. You can't really say that.

What do you mean? We have a good relationship with Weight Watchers, remember? They were here on the phone. I love Weight Watchers. Yeah. And our people are all part of the tour? How come we're not part of that? Are you part of the Weight Watchers?

I will be if I could be part of the tour. Talk to the man's. Let's get them on the horn. When is the Dallas thing's already happened probably. I was in the hospital, I think. It was very disappointing. I saw, I saw Tamila with Oprah on her Instagram. Yeah.

Yeah, it was last week. Yeah. Darn it. Wait, wait. It was last week? No, it was. When I was in a hospital? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. That's disappointing. So there's still, is there any let, are we done with the fat people tour now? Is our phone number, Ivan? If we're done with the, Oprah's Fat Tour, hold on. No, remember the last one is in California. Oprah Fat Tour. I hope you know.

To Google it. See if it comes up. It comes right up. Oprah 2020 Vision. Oprah Fat Tour comes right up. hilarious. So Oprah Fat Tour, vision for your life and focus. Right.

And this is the LA. Oh, no. No, February 15th is in Dallas. Oh, I'm still coming up. Oh, so I guess they're really. So I guess they're really right in the whole wave. I just saw them.

I just saw them. Get them on the horn. We need to get the man's in here and to promote this and to, I want to be part of the Oprah Fat Tour. I mean, wait watchers. If you keep calling it that and when they listen to this program, they're not going to show you.

I know, it's over. So do you want to revisit your... Get the man's on the line because I really am excited about the Oprah Weight Watchers' vision for your life tour and how they're involved as an ambassadorship for the Weight Watchers and losing weight and taking control of your life. Who's the guest in Dallas? How's that? Do we know the guests in Dallas?

Is it Lady Gaga? Yeah, no. No? Yeah, no, it's not Lady Gaga. Is it Mark Cuban? No, Cuban might show up. to that's at the American Airlines Center. He may show up.

I was going to say, isn't that his center? Yeah. He might just stop by. Somebody might say, hey, you're not allowed in here. This is my building? My offices are right there. He doesn't even have to come in to work and he looks outside the window. Oh, hey, you guys didn't tell me all bro is here.

Tracy Ellis Ross and Julianne Howe. Yes, a little with a cock eye. Yes. She has a weird eye. Yes. Yes. No, she's... Yeah, she has a weird of the cock-eye.

She's beautiful. No, I want to be a part of this. She has to be a cock-eye. No, we... You can say that. You just can't say anything about fat people. Well, Weight Watchers helps people who are struggling with their weight. Yeah, fat people.

Take control of their life. Which, by the way, I hope the American Orlando Center, you said? Yeah. Is, you know, steady. You can have all those people sitting there. I hope it's, like, steady. All this. And I will say,

the last royal story that I have today. I've not enough of the royals already, as you can tell. I want to talk about American royalty. Oprah, Megan, Weight Watchers, the men. Ellen. Obama's. So I thought of you because of the TV show, Schitt's Creek. Oh, coming to an end.

Last season. But I was thinking that there's a 1992 comic novel that I have not read. Okay. And I want, we may need to talk to this person. She may even be dead now, I don't know. That wrote the person who wrote. We can still talk to her. Yeah, okay.

Just conjured the dead. Get her on the line. Conjured the day. So the comic novel is about the fallen British royals and how they go back to living a common life. Nice. Yes. And it sounds really, really funny. Was it a title again?

And that's just great. It's called, um, the queen and I. That's it? Yeah. Oh, so like the king and I? No, it's called the queen and I. So just like the king and I? No, it's not like the king and I.

It's different. It's called the queen and I. Okay, sorry. So it's royals living among commoners. And it sounds like it would be really a fun read. And it reminded me that that's really what Chitz Creek is, right? Yeah. And it very well could be based on the queen and I.

Maybe we have to ask Daniel. He wrote it. you want me to get him on the line might as well get him on the line look at all the phone lines busy right now with all the people waiting to talk to me who do you want to talk to first oh it just got cut off

they're bad the computer something wrong with the phone line