Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep. 3 | Presidential Alert, Robot Jobs, & No More Halloween Costumes

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

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The Blaze Radio Network On Demand. Welcome to it. Welcome to Chew in the Fat with yours, Chooley, Jeff Fisher. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride on today's Fatcast. I got two

emergency alerts from FEMA today. Is that a bad thing? It looked like it went off without a hitch. It was the first nationwide test. We talked a little bit about it yesterday. Hit my phone at 218. Just like they said it was going to, only I got two. So I hope I don't have to pay extra for that.

Because, you know, it was just not. And then the worst thing is I went outside and here in Texas, the first Wednesday of the month, they test the tornado storm alarms. And those, you know, the horns were going off. And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, now I got the female alert coming up. And, you know, it was just, it was a hectic afternoon. here in Texas, okay? But for those of you that got a little worried, I know that there were a number of reports of people

that didn't realize that it was happening today. Those people are obviously the people that don't listen to this podcast. So what you can do is tell them, you know, if you really want to know, something's coming up. Chewing the fat, well, Jeff Fisher, available or wherever you get your downloads.

I mean, hello. It just comes right to your phone every day. and then you'll know what's going on. But it was the presidential alert. This was a task of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed, was needed, and no action was taken. I just know that I got two. So I'm wondering if the cell companies charge FEMA

and for every text that gets sent out. Now, if that's the case, when the cell companies document that they sent out, you know, 200 million techs, right? So they had planned on the story, it was talking about 225 million. So I don't know if the government pays the sell companies for that or if that's an offer that they do out of the goodness of their hearts.

I doubt that, but it's possible. Just to be in good graces with the government. But if they charge and they had already planned on 225 million and if they doubled up a quarter adds another, you know, $25, $30, $40 million? I mean, that's a good gig. I mean, companies get busted doing that all the time. You know, when I was working, when I worked in the grocery stores, you know, for a little while, I noticed, say, that you'd get a palette of groceries and you'd get, say, a palette of,

well, where I noticed it was Kellogg's. Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. You get a palette of frosted flakes. Now those cases, you get, let's just say 10 cases of frosted flakes on a pallet, and each case has 24 boxes of frosted flakes in it. So you go to open up the case, you put them on the shelf. Every sixth or seventh box case was short a box of frosted flakes in the box. So over time, that's a heck of.

a lot of boxes of frosted flakes across the country. Okay, that's a lot of extra frosted flakes for Kellogg's. Because the guy stock on the shelf, like me, still hung over, still, you know, young punk living in Florida on the beach, partying. I don't care. I open up the box and go, that's one less box I got to put on the shelf, right? So, I mean, it's a good way to do it. I know that there was a trash bag company that was.

was find a bunch of money a bunch of years ago because who counts the trash bags? You buy a box of trash bags and says, yeah, 135 plied trash bags, perfect for your home. And you take it home and, you know, when it's empty, you go buy another box. Nobody counts one, two, three. Well, somebody did.

And these trash can companies, trash bag companies were, the rolls weren't quite what they said they were. Now, over time, that's an awful lot of trash bags. And that's a lot of money for these companies. So I was just wondering if, you know, maybe the sell company is, you know, up to something. I know I'm, you know, I might be overthinking it. It's possible.

But it's just a thought. So I've been talking about robots taking people's jobs and what they're going to do. And I mean, I talked a little bit about how people were concerned about Amazon and having robots taking their jobs. and how we're more and more concerned every day with jobs being taken by robots and replacing humans because they're they're doing what we consider menial jobs, right? So there are some jobs. I saw a story today about farms. You know, there's big, some big farms are starting to be robotized.

There's, you know, all kinds of businesses have been robotized forever, robotized, robart. They're using robots. So John Pugliano, author of The Robots Are Coming, a human survival guide to profiting in the age of automation. And we should try to get him on the fat cast here on chewing the fat. I'd like to talk to John, a human survival guide to profiting in the age of automation. I've talked to some experts in the past, and they've said, you know, you just need to kind of rethink what you're doing and look around. But it's not as if it's coming. I mean, it's already here, right?

So he's telling you that there are some jobs that are going to be long gone. And I was going through this list, and I'll go through it with you, but some of them really are already gone. His list has a travel agent. That job is, you know, going to be going away. Online travel booking sites. Everyone is their own personal travel agent these days. The number of travel agents will decline by 12% over the next 10 years. That may not sound like much.

That's a lot of people. There's a lot of jobs. John talks about this is saying that an alternative career on the rise, the occupational outlook handbook. I want, I want to, that's me. All right, I am now an expert, and I'm writing my own book. The Occupational Outlook Handbook. I am an expert on the Occupational Outlook, and I've created a handbook.

Anyway, the Occupational Outlook Handbook, why don't I have this handbook in my hands right? now. It predicts an increase in the need for people who are experts in specific destinations or particular types of travelers. So I can be listed in the Occupational Outlook handbook. If I say, hey, traveling to Mexico, I know where to make a right instead of a left and I'll keep you alive, use me, and people will pay me to be their guide, right? Okay, we have to get the occupational outlook handbook. I have to go through that. I want to see what these professionals are doing to hawk their own wares. Because, you know, I was looking, I'll go down

some more of these jobs that are disappearing, but I was looking at another post talking about how people can make your career dreams come true when you fill out your application. and make sure that, you know, you use context and call yourself different titles and, you know, call yourself a ghost writer and make sure it's quick and concise. And, you know, marketing manager, marketing director, use these terms to make people believe that you're, you know, the award winning, as an example in the story, they talk about the award-winning SEO expert for fitness gyms. Now, obviously, I'm not going to use that.

I mean, I'm not going to tell you that I'm an award-winning SEO expert for fitness gyms. However, there's no reason for you. There's no reason to laugh at that. I already said I'm not going to do it. You don't need to. You don't need to laugh. I got it. And they talk about telling people that you're certified.

Ooh, this is probably in the Occupational Outlook, Handbook, the certified Portuguese and Spanish interpreter. Right? That, if you're going on a trip. and you're going to be seeing a bunch of those Portuguese you're going to want somebody that speaks it not everybody can just walk around using hand language you know you can't be telling people how you can use different

fingers for what you need but you can't plus I was told today I sidetrack again by the these jobs I was told today that the whole you know the whole thing or the school of university banning people from clapping because it was too much. The University of Manchester, Manchester, England. Clapping is too much.

It's just, we can't have it. It's upsetting. It's triggering people. It's making, we're trying to avoid triggering anxiety. So there's no, yay! Ooh, it's in trouble. But they say you got to have jazz hands. Okay, jazz hands

Now somebody already hollered at me today A former employee Said to me today That it's not jazz hands It's sign language for clapping All right I got it It's jazz hands

Now if you're on radio If you're doing it though see If I'm clapping for something Yes that's beautiful That's beautiful. And you don't know I'm clapping because it's radio. Right now I'm clapping so loud you can't even hear me talk. But you don't know that because I'm using jazz hands.

Okay. So I got to tell you, I'm sorry, I'm using sign language for clapping. But I got to tell you, it just sounds better to say, yeah, tremendous. I am clapping so loud with jazz hands. And then you know what I'm doing. Okay, you know what I'm doing then. Jazz hands. Come on now.

How is that triggering to people? Really? Are you serious? You seriously want me to believe that clapping and applauding something is triggering someone? Now, I get that it... Actually, in their way of the... I guess it is because you're approving of something that someone did so good that they get applause.

But the other people aren't getting that applause. And we feel sad for them. And they don't know how they're going to. to get through the rest of the game. I don't know. Do something worth applauding for. Back to jobs. Sorry, I progress a little bit.

Got a little away from the jobs that are dying. It talks about one of the jobs they're talking about is bookkeepers. They're talking about they're blaming artificial intelligence for the decline of bookkeeping profession. Financial Management, New York says sites like QuickBooks and receipt bank, automatically download all your information. And you have it right in front of you in your hands. You don't need that bookkeeper.

Lawyers going away? You know, are they? Lawyers aren't going away. I'm sorry. You know, the world will always have lawyers. I'm sorry. They just will. There's always going to be attorneys.

There are some people on earth that will always need people to have them defend them in courts of law when people are accusing them of things that they didn't do, by the way. there's so many i mean there's a lot of lawyers and that's a big misconception about lawyers too lawyers don't really make a lot of money there's a few that make pretty good money but most of the time they know there's pretty middle-of-the-road incomes for those lawyers and you know why you remember when court tv was on when court tv when they actually showed trials when it wasn't just what's her face blabbing about some case what can't i think of her name who was the court TV star. No, not Judge Judy.

What's her face? The lady that was the face of court TV. Then she went to CNN and no. If you say Judge Judy in my ear one more time, I already said it wasn't Judge Judy. All right. I'll think of her name. But she was on there forever, blabbing about shows and blabbing about cases, which was fine. She was okay.

The show was good. But I loved watching the trials. Okay. actual trials. It showed why the good attorneys who are loud and obnoxious and object and flamboyant in the courtrooms make a lot of money. Because most of the lawyers you'd see in those cases are flipping through the books. I object, Your Honor. If we look at the page 52, paragraph 3, you can well tell that my client doesn't need to answer that question. instead of

objection and they start flying papers around and everything it was just if you want to be a good attorney learn the law but don't be an introvert be an extrovert especially in the courtroom

especially in the courtroom more jobs that are going away because of AI and because of robots is broadcasters what this list as hogwash. One in ten of the nation's 33,202 radio and television announcers are expected to see their jobs

disappear by 2026. Ooh. I don't like this list. Consolidation in the industry as well as increased use of syndicated content is fueling the decline. Well, that's been going on forever since they deregulated the industry. There's also an explosion of streaming music. Music services, more and more listeners prefer that over their local drive-time disc jockey.

I don't know why. You want to get the information to hear about the songs, listen to you get the time, get the weather, get the content, and check in with the traffic reporters. Why do you want to just listen to Spotify? Right? Anyway, party DJs, however, are seeing an upticket business. That job. That party DJ stuff? What a pain job that is.

I give those guys credit. That's funny. Oh, yes. You got to list. But you got to listen. come up and they want everybody wants to hear their favorite song and you got to have you got to play the song you got to be upbeat you got oh here's the happy couple and you got to do their little dance song it's agonizing it's agonizing and you got you got to pretend like you like everybody

wait i like that job i like that job but really that's been the the the downsizing of radio and disc talk has been that's been ongoing for quite some time uh syndicated hosts for morning drive, afternoon drive, you know, evenings, all of it. And plus now we have podcasts like this one that you're listening to where you can, it comes right to you. You're welcome, by the way. It comes right to your device. And you can listen to it when you want at your leisure.

I mean, you should listen to it right away as soon as it comes to your device. There's no question about that. I mean, hello. But you don't have to. and so why would I want to I still listen to myself I still listen to the radio here in Dallas and I will say for a top five market

there's a reason why radio is not doing well because a lot of the people on the radio here in the Dallas Fort Worthland market middle managers is another job that's going away because of robots casino cashier do we really need them

Those casino cashiers aren't going anywhere. IT guys. No, no, we cannot lose our man here in this building. No, whatever we're paying him isn't enough. I mean, just give that man what he wants and let him be. What do you need? What do you need? John, what do you need?

Do you want coffee every day? No problem. I mean, he does a great job for us. No question. In fact, when you see John, and if John were, to say, you know, what I'd really like is to buy a new home, we should hook him up with real estate agents I trust.com and just let it, and we'll pay for it. Because look, well, I don't want John to have to go through trying to sell his home and put up a for sale sign and have people

come on and bugging him and trying to buy his house and trying to nickel and dime him for everything that's wrong with it, all of that. No. No. John does not deserve that. He deserves the expertise of real estate agents. I trust.com. Look, finding a great real estate agent can make all the difference in the world when you need to sell your biggest asset. You know that. If you've ever tried to sell a home, you know what a pain it is and how frustrating it can be.

That's why you need real estate agents. I trust.com. You know, it started when Glenn and Tanya tried to sell their home. And originally, the house that they were trying to sell was in Connecticut. I'm pretty sure that was the house that really was the business. biggest pain and it just seemed like it was took forever and they went through they went through baking bread and changing the furniture around and having to paint and be paying this and don't hang that and now take this down and open houses all the stuff that really doesn't work in today's

world that's what they went through so if you don't want to go through all of that and you want to just sell your house for the most money and buy a house for the least amount of money and be happy with what you have and what you've done, real estate agents, I trust.com. We've got agents all over America that want to earn your business. They're highly rated agents who will get the job done. Real estate agents, I trust.com, real estate agents, I trust.com. Wow. I am so thirsty.

Let's go over to the water cooler. I need a drink. All right. So, you know, we're just hanging out here at the break room. And, you know, I like to hit a couple of stories that you need. Do you be able to talk about at work? And, you know, you're sitting in the break room. You don't want to be left just with nothing to say.

So, you know, I really am interested in seeing how the rollout is going in Houston, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, and Sacramento. The 5G broadband network is rolling out, started rolling out the first of this week from Verizon. I am very interested to see if that is making any kind of difference. If the people notice it, what's it like, be really cool. because I'm all about the better shot I got, let's have it.

I don't care. I'm ready for 100 G. I want to see it. And, you know, I don't want it just because it downloads quicker stuff. Like, you know,

a lot of people, a lot of people, a lot of people are, want it faster and because they download pornography. I disagree with that so much. I mean, I download it.

You don't want to keep it on your device. Don't download it. Just watch it without downloading it. Downloader, there's evidence. Thank you. You download it if there's evidence. You don't stream. You know what I'm saying?

Don't save. Don't forget to delete history. Don't forget to delete cookies. The construction, I don't know why they're making this such a big story. Another story that I'm fascinated with today is that the construction worker kept $245 million lotto winning secret. Well, duh. I'm doing that too.

If I hit that lottery ticket, the powerball, and it's $245 million, I'm not saying a word. I mean, my wife's going to be lucky to hear about it from me. Don't tell her I said that. But the, I mean, so he gets the ticket. They figure he checks it out. He double, you know, he double, triple, quadruple checks it to make sure it's right, like you would do. And you don't want to take it into the end of the store and have them get it to you because then, you know, then the words out, right? So he goes, he gets it checked and then he puts it in a safe and he gets himself a lawyer.

And he still goes to work every day. I don't know if I'd do that. I don't know if I'd do that. A whole everyday work thing. Although it's nice when you work and you don't have to, so I probably would. but it goes to work. He didn't want the workers to know anything about it. They got it all worked out.

And then they announced that he was the winning ticket holder. $246 million winner, jackpot. They've got, they set up a trust fund. It's called the Sea and Sand Trust. I didn't call it trust whatever you want. But they've got the trust fund. You know, the shop gets their $10,000, which the supermarket says they're going to donate the funds to a local. Staten Island Food Bank.

No, that's nice of them. But he said he's going to take the lump sum. Of course. I don't know that I actually trust the state or the lottery to have all my money in 30 years. Like I'm figuring that my point would be after about 19 years, they'd go, all right, we're out of money. We know we owe you another 11 years, but sorry. Good luck.

God bless. and, you know, the state would say, oh, yeah, that's fine. No problem. Don't worry about it. So he's taking the cash payment. Now, this story says it's about $100 million. That seems a little low. That's more than half.

Usually it takes about half somewhere in there, depending on, you know, different stuff. Although this is in New York, so maybe the taxes are more. So it's possible that it is more than $100. Think of that. I wonder why I want to live in Texas Why do I want to live in Texas Why do I want to live in Texas? Oh, I know

So when I win the power ball They don't take another 50 million Oh wait, that's the feds too Never mind But the feds still take their cut No matter where you're at It's the state that they're that's killing you on that So I mean how mad do you have to be if you

I'm only taking home $100 million I'm so mad I can't believe how mad I am. I'm going to even get mad every day because it was only a hundred million. I mean, that's still a nice

chunk of change. And I don't blame him for not saying a word. Because when family members start coming out of the woodwork, everybody wants their cut, charities want their cut,

the kids want their cut, Uncle Billy, who you haven't seen in 30 years, wants a new truck, Aunt Sandy needs a new kitchen remodel, everybody wants their cut. You know, and look, with $100 million, you're going to go out and probably party for a while, right? You're going to take a cut of that $100 million

and set it aside for the party account. I mean, I'm not, but people would, some other kind of people would. And so, you know, if you have any relatives that are, you know, You know what kind of relatives I'm talking about. You know, cousin Bobby that hasn't left the basement all winter because his friends all just come over and drop off whatever he needs. You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, the companies that, you know, deliver to the home, you know, like, you know, Bobby has ordered 18 cases of soy sauce this winter. Yeah, I don't think that soy sauce, Aunt Millie. Oh, what else could it be? I don't know. So, you know, you know, those, those relatives are coming out of the woodwork after your cash. So you got to keep it quiet. You have to.

I mean, that's a must. I mean, you have to. We also learned today, kind of cool. This is kind of cool. As you're standing around the break room, you can talk, tequila can help you lose weight. I mean, that's kind of cool. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of that.

It's been a long time since I've gotten really, really drunk on tequila. I may have to start. Maybe that's why I've gained weight. I'm not drinking any tequila. So they make it with the agava plant. And so the agavans is a natural form of sugar that's found in that plant. So it's non-degestable. And according to the study, it acts as a dietary fiber that won't raise blood glucose.

And it's necessary to differentiate from the commonly known agave syrup too. You don't want just that. Don't be thinking you're going to. drink the agave syrup and it's going to help because it's not the agave syrup is just about as bad as the high fructose corn syrup now a lot of there's differing arguments over the high fructose corn syrup i won't get into that now but i will just say that you want the uh you want the natural form of the agave sugar all right they've the rats that they gave it to i'm sorry the mice the test mice Those heart rats.

Gave them a standard diet, added the agavans to the water, and revealed that the mice who consumed the agavans ate less and had lower blood glucose levels. Hello. Why wouldn't you eat that? I mean, you can. Coming to a natural grocer near you soon. Agovens sweetener. That's, if you're looking to make a little money, you might want to, you might want to,

you might want to invest some money into the agabin sugar or tequila either one though that kind of works right yeah i don't i'm not going to tell you the exact when is hollewan it's the end of this month right it's the end of october hollween what is it the 31st of the 31st of october Halloween and i know so many people love Halloween and you know i i'm kind of torn i feel like i should really like it and I'm not real crazy about it. But then I remember that I get huge bags of chocolate candy. And I think, oh, I love this holiday.

And then I remember I can get huge bags of candy anytime I want. I don't need Halloween. Halloween just gives you an excuse. It's like an extra week of, oh, it's only Halloween candy. Where the other weeks are like, is that, you, hey, fatty, you eat the whole bag of candy?

You can't say, you can't say in May. Oh, it's Halloween candy. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's just fatness candy is what it is. It's not Halloween candy. But, I mean, we're getting the pumpkins out, right?

They had the Deerfield Fair in Deerfield, New Hampshire, and I usually try to get to that. I'm so bummed that I miss the Deerfield Fair in Deerfield, New Hampshire. I try to get to that every year, and I missed it this year. But they had their, you know, the pumpkin growing contest. Steve Gettys. All right, Steve Getty, set a record. Set a record. These things are monstrous.

The pumpkin tipped the scales at a whopping 2,528 pounds. He got the first prize and $6,000 in prize money. And he now is the biggest pumpkin ever grown in North America. I mean, that's a pretty cool. Now, Woody Lancaster, and be fun to, we should have reached out to Woody because he's the Northeast representative for the Great Pumpkin Commonwealth. It's an organization that serves as the worldwide governing body for competitive pumpkin growing. Who knew that there was a worldwide governing body for competitive pumpkin growing? Well, Steve Getty's probably in New Hampshire did.

It's a big deal. now he holds the United States record. All right. The world record belongs to a Belgian man. His pumpkin, 2624 pounds. Woof. 2,624 pounds. I mean, less than 100 pounds away from the world record.

I mean, you left that bad boy on the plants another day. He might have made it. Right? You made a couple more bugs would have crawled in or something and added some weight to that bad boy Right, right That's pretty close and the Belgian guy's going that's right I knew I hold the record so now he has the second I mean that's fantastic I mean these things are huge and what do you do with you I guess you you cut them and you you make

gigantic pumpkin pies with them or yeah I know but I mean that's That's a heck of a jack-o-latter for Halloween, right? I think they probably do. Those are like horse racing seeds. That's like a, those are just those seeds. Yeah, these are, these are, you don't want those seeds. Yeah, those are the seeds that got the DNA baby for the big boys. Yes, worth top dollar.

That's like secretariat seeds. You want money. You get big-time dollars for that. Yes. Now, do you like Halloween? Really? I mean, is it a, you know, is it a thing? like we're dressing up.

You like going to parties. You know, you like, you know, being, uh, doing it around. And every school has their Halloween where the kids trot their little bougie butts through around the school with their, with their costume on. And oh, look a little Billy. Look a little Susie. They're so cute. Well, there are some that you can't be.

There's a band now at schools. I mean, I don't even know why we still allow them to do it at schools, to be honest with you. but in 2013 a high school kid came as Jesus Christ. That's a, you know, see, I want to tell you something. There's a difference between Halloween and some of the night parades around the country. Because some of the night parades around the country, you can dress up as anything. And it's great. I mean, I think those outfits are tremendous.

I mean, some of the night parades they have in Ebor City and New Orleans and, New Orleans. New York and San Francisco, those outfits are tremendous. And they're so bad and they're against all good on the planet, I know. But I still like them. So anyway, this kid dresses up as Jesus Christ and the school was not happy about it. And he was like, well, he's the most influential person in my life. I don't want to dress up as him. Now the school said, yeah, that's great, but that's offensive.

And you're not going to be dressing up as Jesus Christ and no one else is either because we're bad. It's not going to move on. But then in 2014, a school decided, you know what, the kids can't be superheroes. What? Yeah, superheroes, including but not limited to Wolverine, Batman, Superman, the Power Rangers, and any of the Fantastic Four are not allowed. And neither are witches or ghosts or any other costume that would be scary to a small child. I mean, what's left?

An angel? And you can't be an angel. Oh, my gosh. No, because that's a religion, right? So then we go move on to geishes, squaws, and cowboys. So good. So in 2013, the dean of the University of Colorado issued a memo to the student body, asking them to consider the impact of their costume decision that it meant what it may have on others in these.

CU community. Featured on the list of frowned upon Halloween garb were costumes that portray particular cultural identities as overly sexualized, such as gauges, squaws, or the stereotypical cowboys, Indians. What? And now also, on the memo also, asked that students not host parties whose themes could be considered offensive, like ghetto. or white trash hillbilly.

Those are the parties I want to go to. You're in college. You're supposed to have those parties. In 1999, they obviously had to ban trench coats because of Columbine. Kids can't wear trench coats anymore as Halloween. That's just too horrific. It triggered too much. Too many memories.

Too many memories. It's only been how many years now? I don't know people see anybody in a trench coat. And now we've, a New York school once banned cross-dressing because they wanted to stop students from mocking, mocking the gay, bisexual and transgendered students. Whoa, whoa, whoa. But then an advocacy group said, no, you can't ban that.

Any student has the absolute right to cross-dress any day or days of the year. And the school principal said, You know what? A student has the absolute right to cross-dress any day or days, but not for Halloween. We're not doing it on Halloween. Sorry. We're not going to let that happen.

The sexy nurse at Quinnipak University, the vice president of academic affairs. No, we can't be the sexy nurse anymore. In college? What? The chief diversity officer. See, now that's every university now has a diversity officer. Come on, man.

You're darn right at Pace. That's a good gig in today's world at the university is a diversity officer. That is in sensitive costumes, including blackface. I'm sorry, but a sexy nurse is not equivalent to a black face. That doesn't happen. Or as a Mexican hooker, gangster, or promiscuous nurse. Nobody said the nurse was going to be Mexican. We just wanted a sexy nurse.

we're it's not it's actually not a Mexican hooker it's just you can't go as a Mexican slash hooker don't look at me

like that I made it into a different joke you know what you need to do over there we're done you know what this proves you know what this proves

though is that we have created you know who does this good Brad Upton I heard Brad Upton on a dry bar comedy and He does a bit about millennials and how bad they are.

And it's pretty funny. And Brad is really funny. This is a really good bit. And he does some other funny stuff too. But this particular segment is absolutely true. How many are not under the age of 30? 20-somethings? Let me hear from the 20-somethingsouth.

Whoa. These are the dumbest people I've ever met my life. Not personally, just as a group. Do me a favor. Put some cash in your. pocket crease your debit cards every $1.17 purchase. I get so tired of sand mine on a mini-mark. That's $1.17. Here's my debit cards.

You don't have a buck and a quarter? I know they're dumber than people my age. You know when I was growing up, we didn't have any childproof caps. You dropped the Coke bottle. It didn't bounce. It shattered. Thank you. Our parents saw us play with guns and knives and fireworks. You know what happened to the dumb kids? They didn't make it. Amen.

Amen. True. These guys dropped in a word. world is childproofed and pad at all the dumb ones lived. Thank you. Now they use debit cards, a $1.17 purchases. I'm kind of okay with that. You ever should buy energy drinks? How much energy do you

need in your 20s? Right. Should be selling those at their retirement village. That's the target market right there. A couple of monsters in a Red Bull are going to pick up that bingo game, I'm sure. Brad Upton.

Brad Upton. Very funny comedian. That was from the dry bar comedy. Just a good bit. on millennials and that's what we've raised. Just reading what outfits they can and cannot wear. Hey, we should just stop celebrating the whole thing. Period.

It's just dumb now. It's just dumb. We have to, it's just buy candy and give it out. I think if I, and then my kids still want to participate in it now, but they're getting too old for it. So like, you know, my daughter, I think is this going to be this, you know, she's right at the edge of too old. Max is way too old, but he's like, I don't care. I've got to go with Maya.

I'm going to go with my daughter, with my sister. So I get to dress up too. Whatever. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you both giant bags of candy. We'll shut the lights off and we'll stay inside. Okay? In fact, I will go and buy 80,000 pieces of candy.

Not really. I'm just going to tell them it's 80,000. And we'll just stay home. We'll shut the lights off and we'll just stay home. We'll just stay home. And if you hear anybody come up to the house with the lights off, say, trick or treat, I will go to the front door and say, the lights off, dummy.

Tell your parents out there at the sidewalk. That means don't come up to this door. Or we can just not answer the door. One or the other. Either way it works. So one of the things you can do, now I've lived in a couple of really cool neighborhoods where, you know, they bus in

and I say by bus in they bring kids in from different neighborhoods to walk through our neighborhoods for Halloween because it's such a good hall and you know the people give away, you know, really cool things and I've reached a, when we'll get close to Halloween I'll give you my

trick on how to get more candy out trick or treating. I have a tested, tried, and true way to get more. more candy, absolutely legal, 100% legal. You got to go with your kids, but I'll tell you now, don't look at me now. I'll tell you now, okay, I'll tell you now, this is a professional tried and true tested way for you, your kids to get more candy than they've ever had before in their

life from Halloween, okay? You with me? A, go out with your kids. Have them have a nice little Halloween bag or bucket or whatever it is, but you, you carry a separate pillowcase or a bag. Okay, you carry that. So every three to four houses, you dump that candy, except for a couple of bars, into your bag.

Because people, the little kid comes up to the door, trick or treat, and they look down and the kid looks like they just got started. They got no candy. Oh, you need some more, and they always throw extra in. Tried and true, every time. You end up with more candy you ever had before in your life. I'm telling you. Look, you're welcome.

You're welcome. I try to help. You don't have to use me. You don't have to tell anybody that you got it from me. You can say that you came up with it yourself, but you know deep down. You know where you got it from. So good. All right, before we go, I want to tell you a little bit about Mercury 1 and the 2018 ball.

It's coming up, and there's a big raffle where you can win a Mercedes. Ben's car. I know. I know. Normally you'd think to yourself, well, doesn't Jeff Fisher just get that? No, they don't let me have it. It's very disappointing. So you can go to mercury1.org slash M1 ball. And it's November 17th. It's here at the Mercury Studios. And the raffle last year, the winner's going to be here. Remember the winner got won the GMC Canyon. I bet you the winner this year with the GMC Canyon is going to go, how come I don't have the Mercedes? What am I? I just so stuck with the GMC Canyon. truck. But you get an opportunity to

get the Mercedes-Benz, and thanks to Mercedes-Benz of Plano. And you don't even need to be present to win. You just buy the lottery ticket if they draw you, you'll win. I mean, how cool is that? And the M-1 ball looks supports both the program of operating costs, and it pays the bills. So that when we give money away during the year to help people during any kind of disaster, 100% of it goes to that disaster, which

makes it even better. And most of the places that want to take your money for those disasters are not giving 100%. Last year at the M1 ball, I was the Armadillo Derby champion of the

Armadillo races. We had the Armadillo races. I don't think we'll have the Armadillo races this year, although we should. I changed the rule. The rules have now been changed in Armadillo racing because of me. That's a fact. I mean, I have a certificate right here that has the Armadillo Derby Hall of Fame.

I am the Armadillo Jockey Winner Circle Hall of Fame. I changed the rules. What are you done with your life, my friend? I didn't think so. You changed the rules in any professional sport? I did. Okay. Oh my gosh.

Look at the, I've got so much stuff in the fat pot. I've got so many stories here I want to get to and there's there's only so much time there's only so much fat time to get to today and I we can go on I mean I could just keep talking for another hour or so but you know let's let's not do that we'll get together tomorrow I've got a stack of stuff here in the fat pile I'll talk a little bit about I've got I've got some great road rage stories I got to I got to tell you about oh and this Facebook moderator job. We've got to talk about that.

We've got to talk. There's so much to talk about. Plus, I got a tremendous Bridezilla story that I've been saving. It's been in the fat pile for I don't know how long. So, yeah, we're doing that tomorrow. All right. Hey, and you know, as long as we're here. I mean, look, Jeff E, MRA on Twitter, Jeff Fisher Radio on Facebook, Jeff Fisher Radio on Instagram.

and I appreciate you listening to chewing the fat but you know just remember the three things that you need to say after me okay just think to yourself because I want you to think to yourself you ready? Subscribe rate and review thank you it's not that hard I just want to just say that now you should oh wait I just had one added in my ear

second we got to go back hold on subscribe rate review, share. I like that. We're going to keep adding them every time we get one that we like. And so I'm not going to tell you how to rate and review. You can do that on your own.

You know how to do that. But when you rate and you think to yourself, what should I rate it at 20, 20 stars. Oh, what should I review it as the best podcast you've ever heard? I mean, you can say what you want, but I'm just saying, you know, I'm helping you along a little bit. So I'm giving you a little booster. So you don't have to worry about it.

You can just, when you see it, you go, oh, I got a rated. 20 stars, even though it only goes up to five. And then I got to review it. Oh, it's the best podcast ever, even though it's, you know, eh. Thanks for listening. We'll see you about.