Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 309 | Fat Pile Friday - Fast Food Merchandise EDITION

Episode Date: February 21, 2020

Jeffy and Kris Cruz are seen a trend of celebrities and fast food releasing candles that smells like themselves. Is this the new fad? Did you know that Jeffy almost died at a pickle factory? NDAs no longer hold in todays world because of the MeToo movement. Jeffy is trying to get some Bloomberg money and Jeffy sends an audition tape. Football players get caught after traveling to Mexico and bring back about 157 lbs of marijuana. Jeffy finds out that social security cards have a lifetime limit if you keep losing them. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was the night before the gathering and all through the house. The host rapid cozy cashmere throw from Home Sense for their spouse. Kids toys for $6.99 under the tree. And crystal glasses for just $1.49 for their brother Lee. A baking dish made in Portugal for Tom and Sue. And a nice $5.99 candle. Perfectly priced just for you. Happy holidays to all.

And to all a good price. Home Sense. Endless presents perfectly priced. And now, a Blaze Media podcast. All right, what is going on with the fast food joints? Did they all get suckered into the... Merchandise? Well, they for sure got all tucked into the merchandise, which is fine.

I'm okay with that. But for the past few months, we've been inundated with different artists giving us candles that smell like themselves. Well, we haven't talked about those yet. We talked about it off air between you and me. People are aware. Oh, they're aware? Well, then why would the... Stars have released candles that smell like themselves.

Themselves or they're privates? That would be themselves, wouldn't it? I don't think so, because if I smell differently than those parts that we're not going to talk about. Really? Yes. You would say that you smell differently. Yes. Than a female?

Yeah. I think so. Okay. So Burger Cake releases an ad where they show their Whopper getting moldy. Ooh. Over 30 days. And they're saying that they're getting rid of, you know, all their GMOs. All the bad stuff.

All the GMOs. All right. Fine. But that's not enough. That's not enough? That's not enough. Oh, no. Because McDonald's said, wait.

Wait. Stars are releasing candles that smell like the, themselves, we want it on the action too. Now, I will say that I kind of maybe, if you can get the scent of a McDonald's, you know, when you first pull up, that scent of a McDonald's, you're like, oh, you know where you're at. Yes. And around the world, well, that's not really true. Around the United States, you know, you know, that's a McDonald's.

You know, that's a McDonald's. I live with that smell. So my parents all have McDonald's. and I worked at McDonald's my entire teen life. So I know that smell. All I got to do an eight-hour shift, and I could sell that shirt, ooh, and put CTF on it. So golden arches unlimited.com.

Don't give the website? What do you mean? I want to buy it. And now that you give the website, all this stupid CTF influencers is going to go in there. No, it's actually golden arches unlimited. M.C. UK or something.

It's not dot com. I was wrong. I don't know. Don't even try. Because last time we talked about the shoes sold out. And then Kentucky Fried Chicken came up with their own Kentucky Fried Chicken shoes. And the shoes and the log. And the log.

So the shoes, I had a sign up or missing. Did you get the in and out? Did you get the in and out? I'm sorry. Those are the ones that sold out. I signed out for the stupid thing. And then Coca-Cola had the unlimited Coca-Cola sold out. They reissued that again.

though. I thought you, they reissued a second time too. I signed up for the waiting list. Okay, the second time around. Yeah, okay. So like all these companies, like, who are these people? Like, are they, I think I've, I think this is insider trading. They're like the ticket scalpers. Yeah. People are buying more than one. Or, or insider trading. Yes. The companies are saying, hey, do you know what happened? I work for this company and McDonald's hired us to do some. Inside of Can you buy them all?

Inside or trading. I think this is insider trading. So go to golden arches unlimited.com. Damn it. You gave the website. And see if we could get the six pack of candles. Dude, they look awesome. That include the following cents.

Here we go. S-C-E-N-T-S sense, by the way. How else we spell? They smell like Rosita behind the counter. No, they don't smell like Rosita behind the counter. You racist, bastard. Why's not to be Rosita? They smell like Megan.

They smell like Jackie behind the counter, you okay? So only Hispanics are working for minimum wage at McDonald's? That's exactly what I meant. You racist bastard. That's exactly what I meant. This candle smells like the computer screen that you order from a McDonald's. You happy with that? You mean the robot outside ticket?

Yes. Okay. All right, get the list. Sesame seed bun. Wait, that's a smell? Ketchup? That does, I love that. Hines.

But McDonald's doesn't have Hines. Yes, we do. No, they don't. What do we use? They don't have Hines. Yes, we do. No, they don't. Look at the back of the package.

It's some other kind. Oh, you're talking about, oh yeah, those, yes. But the one that actually go on the ketchup burger, like in the bag with the pumps, those are big Hines bags, like 18 pounds of ketchup bags. Why? Do I not have one of those at my own? I home. I'm going to Florida.

Hold on. Why do I know? Oh yeah, well, you've got another 18,000 weeks. You have to be off. So you might as well be another trip. Hey, I was supposed to be off today. I was supposed to be off today. Hey, don't point that freaking finger at me.

Because I told you last week that the next two Fridays I'm off. And here I am on a Friday. I'm on vacation legally. Are you? Are you? Legally, I'm on vacation today. February 21st, 2020. But people watching and listening live

realize that you're not. I know. Because you got a history fit last time I took a stupid Friday off to help the youths. And you're like, don't try to. Don't try to what.

Oh, I was helping the youth. I was helping the youth. Shut up. Okay, so we got sesame seed bun, ketchup, pickle, candle, nasty. I ever tell you about pickle store where I almost fell into pickle juice

Big big tub of pickle juice Hold on. How big was this pickle juice? It was a huge tub, huge tubs of pickles. Oh, like at a factory? Yeah. Oh, okay, I can see that, yeah. Oh, definitely I could see that. Were you making a fat joke or something?

No. How could you fall into something? You fall into a pickle jar? Cheese. I love cheese. How much cheese do you eat? in a day. A day. A day. In one day, how much cheese do you eat in one day? Half a block? Me too. Dude, I thought I had a serious problem. Just play the open. We haven't even got to all the

candles yet. We haven't even turned to show. It's not on Friday. It's not a Depends on the day. What do you mean? A regular day, you might have half a block and maybe a few slices. So do you buy them by the block? You get the sharp? Oh, duh. And then maybe you still have the white American slices for grilled cheese sandwiches and stuff.

So, you know, it depends. I like that. And then you might, you know, as a snack, you have the, the, uh, Oh, the cheese strings. Yeah. Yeah. But probably the cheese strings are too expensive. Like, I just get the block from, you know.

From Walmart. The Walmart. I thought you shopped at LD. So the candles. Yeah, cheese candle smell. We're cheese right now. So they had sesame seed bond, ketchup, pickle, cheese, onion.

I bet you to make you cry. And. And beef. Fresh beef. I like that. Now, do you have to burn them all together to get the full smell? Duh. Or you just do...

I feel like burning pickle today. Where's the mustard? Yeah, no mustard. What up? Codiponder has a mustard in there. Right. Does the quarter pounder have mustard on? Yeah.

You're thinking about the whopper. And the wapper has ketchup and mayonnaise. Ooh, not mayonnaise. Ooh, nasty. Because according to this, this is supposed to be the quarter pounder fan club push. Because it's a big deal. The quarter pounders going bigger. Right.

That's a problem. Includes. Oh, let's see. The line also includes quarter pounder mittens. Yes, which I'm seeing in here. A quarter pounder calendar. A quarter pounder with Love Locket. Yes.

By the way, in that Love Locket, you have the normal quarter pounder, the quarter pounder with bacon and the quarter pounder deluxe all in one locket. A quarter pounder deluxe would be a... What's her face, the fat chick? Lizzo? Yeah, did you see her a performance in the United Kingdom the other night? Though. She was. Disgusting, I know.

I mean, just... Gross. I didn't say that. No, I did. I didn't say that. And I hope she hears me. She got pissed at us last sex. You get a quarter-pounder fan club t-shirt.

No. And you get a, you could, I'd rather be eating a quarter-pounder sticker. You could wear that one. You go to Burger King. Or to a Lizzo show. Or you can have a sticker and a quarter-pounder fan club pin. Dude, I can't wait for all this stuff to become available. So, man, there's nothing I want more than to walk in the house

and have a smell like pickles. You do, though. Oh, no, not pickles. No, no, no. But I'm going to buy it. I just added ourselves to our waiting list. I have so many waiting lists and all of them are for stupid crap. in-and-out shoes, KFC shoes,

Coca-Cola Unlimited, and now McDonald's... You will see all these products, though. What do you mean? When we, at one point or another, get these products, we'll show them to you. Yeah, because last year we're going to get the log, the 37 Spices Log, and sold out. Like, I feel like...

I feel like you should maybe go back to the website and get them when they come back, you know, on a lot of them. They're lying to us. That's possible, too. It's just that they're just creating talk about their store and product but doesn't really exist. It's a good marketing tool. Have you seen?

No. No. I have not. I've seen pictures? That's it. Any other products that we've talked about in here? Nope. Zero.

I haven't seen out. No, I didn't see. That was not that. All right, welcome to Fat Pile Friday on Chewing the Fat. Thank you for coming along for the ride today. You're welcome. I'm glad to be here. You can, and boy, are we glad to have you?

Well, without me, no one would be pushing buttons. That would be a real shame, wouldn't it? Absolutely. Absolutely. Be sure to subscribe to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Where do I go for that? You know, the easiest thing to do. That's funny.

Thanks for asking. Oh, you're welcome. Go to the blaze.com slash podcast. And then would you go to the page? You'll see some featured podcasts. Are you there? I won't be there. No.

What about the second line? Maybe. No, you're not there. What about the third line? Maybe. No, you're not on that one. Fourth line? Probably.

You are. That's where you are. You're the last one on the fourth line. So you click on that then. And it opens up to the Chewit the Fat page. Hold on. Oh, boy. People are interested, interested,

on the reason of you changing your picture. You thought you're going to be all smart and just change your picture yourself without notice or given any warning to anybody. But people want to know. Well, technically it's not 100% done yet. So there's more stuff changing. Well, if you go to the blaze.com slash podcast.

And scroll to the bottom. It's not the bottom. Okay. Scroll to the bottom and then just a little bit up. And click on chewing the fat. The original picture is still there. Yeah, but I'm clicking on you going like this, you know, blocking your mouth, which is highly... Show that to the camera.

It's highly fake news. There's no way Jeff Fisher's blocking his mouth. Turn around and show it to the camera so they know what you're talking about. Like that, yeah. This is never you. This is never you. All the time, man. Fisher, you do not hold back.

Oh. Whatever you do here with your hands or like, you know, your sensory. What I'm doing is I was smelling the candle I just had my hand down. Okay. Whoa. I just rubbed my hand on a candle. Whoa. Thank you.

Was it a Gwendoza, Ratharrow, the Dallas chick? No, it was the Dallas chick. The Dallas chick. Because I wanted to. I couldn't believe that it smelled like the McDonald's pickle. And boof. I was amazed. Her thing smells like a pickle?

I'm just saying I could. You're too excited today. But please, can you tell the audience? What do you mean? I'm just giving you the stupid question that was brought up. on social media. What's the meaning attitude that you have right now can go away? Because I'm trying to be nice. I don't have to answer

to you. You're not answering to me. I don't have to answer to you. But you have to answer to the audience. So subscribe to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher, all right? I don't have to answer to you. You're not answering to me. You're the guy that's the one that asked the question. Because he can't. He forgot the phone number to call in. 888-90-30-33. Now you can call it. If you're listening live or

watching live. I wish they knew. 888903.33. What's that? I wish they knew what? Wish they knew what? I'm an open book. The truth about... I'm an open book.

Okay. I just wish. I just wish. Look, I got tired of the picture. The steak picture. Why is that so hard? Why is that such a big deal? I don't know because I'm trying to find a stupid question.

Oh, so it was just you. You just made it up. No, I didn't make it up. I just, you know, it's been a while now that the chewing the fat with the face on the steak picture was there. And the only other, and in quotation marks, authorized picture that I could use

is the one that has me covering out my mouth. And I, you know, I want to see something new. It's time to break the mold a little bit. There we go. You happy? Vitamin J.

Can you explain the new CTF podcast picture? I don't get it. You don't get it. It's a picture of the, it's just a picture. What's the meaning? the meaning. It's just chewing the fat. Why are you

blocking your mouth? Because I'm gagging. I'm gagging on a big chunk of fat. And I'm about to spit up and I don't want to do that on the screen so I put my hands in front of my mouth. There. Was that so difficult to say? You know what? No, it wasn't. I apologize for taking so long

to admit it. As long as we're on food and and you're gagging on something. Yeah. Boy, after Wednesday nights Democratic debate people are concerned

that Mike Bloomberg is going to stop running right he's been spending millions of dollars four or $500 million on this campaign he's a billionaire he can do he's like $58 billion I hope that he stays in the race absolutely because all these events that he's been that he sets up

he brings in unlimited food I mean I could be for Mike for that I mean if he wants to advertise on chewing the fat I've already I've already offered advertising here at the boarders. You have, yeah. He advertises every place else that doesn't like him. Why doesn't he come in and give him chewing the fat little, little Bloomberg cash?

Would you take it? Yes. In fact, let me. We can practice. Oh, here we go. Vote Mike Bloomberg. Hold on. I get you.

Audition tape. Jeff Fisher, trying for Mike Bloomberg commercial. Boop. No one. does it better than Mike. Vote Mike Bloomberg 2020. Special approved by Mike Bloomberg.

I mean, you're welcome. How much is that, sir? I give and I give and I give. For free? That was for free? No. Oh, okay.

That's a trial. But you can't use it. No. Is he going to have a signed of NDA like he did with all these girls? Don't even start with me on that. That whole thing was just... Which, by the way, that is very smart.

We're talking about here with all the producers. They're like, how dare he? I'm like, dude, that is Wicke is smart. No. They all do it. And what happened is, and I believe if you look back at, let's use an example just off the top of my head,

as long as you get me started on this, let's get me, it pisses me off. Yesterday you pulled the court on me. I'm going to pull the court on you. All right. Hold on, hold on. Let me pull the court. Bill Cosby had these as well and shut down.

And the judges, oh, it doesn't matter. We don't care. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Mike Bloomberg is right on that. Look, I know that we're trying, you know, We're trying to make him look like this douchebag guy. And you know what?

He probably is, unless he advertises with chewing the fat and then he's not. But he probably is, right? He's a corporatist douchebag. I got it. Philanthropist. Thank you. Philanthropist. Vote Mike Bloomberg, 2020.

But these people entered into this agreement. You entered into the contract. Stormy Daniels. Does it matter if you. if you didn't want to enter the contract and you thought that Mike Bloomberg was this bad guy who grabbed your ass or who called you fat

and you want to make a big deal about it then don't take his money and don't sign the contract. But because you took his money and you signed the contract, then shut up. And if you think, you know, that's the same thing with Harvey Weinstein. We've got to be all, we ought to be all, he made all these people do all of this.

Well, I didn't have to be, hear what about the people that said no no no no no did they go in front of the cameras were the day after did they do it no they didn't i mean it's just i realize these people are dirt bags and i don't want women to be attacked by anyone i understand that by anyone it should all be we're all need to be consenting adults i get it please say yes into this microphone i mean it's just Hey, do you like... I'm ready to go, please tell yes in this microphone. Do you want potatoes with that salad?

Yes. I heard of yes. Yes. That's yes. Call me salad. I just, I can't take it. I can't take it. You signed the contract.

All these people that sign contracts and then they want to back out of the contract. Look, if you could do it legitimately, if you can do it legitimately, you sign a contract. And you say, you know, I'm not happy with that contract. And I go back before the contract. the people that I had to deal with and I say, you know what, I'm not happy with this contract. I'm going to honor it. But I don't like it. But I don't want to and I'm not going to be happy about it.

Can we make my, can I be happier? Yes. Can I be happier? It's called contract negotiations. But I signed the deal. And so live with what you signed. Because if you didn't want to, you shouldn't have signed it at any point. It all happened with Stormy Daniels.

I think that was the first gate to open because she sent an NDA, took the money and open her mouth. Oh, that was after Harvey, though. And that was after Bill Cosby, too. I mean, it's just, apparently doesn't matter in today's world. It doesn't matter. It's just agonizing.

I have an NDA with his company. You do? Everybody does. I don't know. I think especially you will have one. Oh, they don't. No, they don't. I mean, good for you.

Wait, did I sense something? Good for you. I mean, I'm happy that you. I seriously sound an NDA. I'm sorry? I sent an NDA. Okay, good for you. Good for you.

And I'm happy that, you know, you're going to follow through on whatever contractual arrangements that you have. Move our back. Would you get fired from a job? That's when you spilled the beans. What do you do? What do you do? And I'm not talking about, you know, the NDAs and all that stuff. What I'm saying, if you get fired, like I've been, I know, this may come as a surprise, but I've been let go.

Oh, not fire, though. Well, I'm calling it. it let go. Oh, they probably called it being fired. What was the last time you were fired? They will, the last time I was fired, they walked me to the door. And I had an office. Look at the time. Right, I had an office, and they said, we'll get all the stuff to you. We're getting all this stuff to you, but right now, right now you're out.

How long ago was that? 30? 12, 13 years ago. Oh, that's not bad. You were there. 10 or 11 years ago. 11, 11 years now, I think, yeah. Now, no, I won't say that, never mind.

You're fired. I'll tell you off the air a story about that, but I'm not going to say on the air about that. I've signed an NDA. Oh, you signed an idea? Oh, okay. Nice to see you respect the NDA that you signed. Oh, man. You can't pull me away from an NDA.

So a police chief in New Hampshire. One police in this town. It's him. So he's the police chief, the detective. I mean, he's everything, right? That's his gig. He's the policeman. In Croydon, New Hampshire, small town.

And so the city council, the three-member select board, has been inundated with, you know what happens? Is the state police department comes in and goes, we can do it better. You're going to cost way too much money. Well, you know, we'll just charge you this little bit and you can just get rid of whatever you're doing. So they did. That sheriff. Get a word from. Right.

So the New Hampshire State Police is going to be taking over. And they voted saying, yep, no problem. We want the police chief. You're out. We know you've been here for 20 years. We've had to pay all this money, insurance, retirement, but you're out. And the deal was is that he's at the meeting. And they vote him out and he says, they tell him, we need you to turn in the key to your

cruiser. We need your guns. we need your uniform and we need to do that immediately. He takes his boots off, takes his shirt off, sets his guns off, takes his pants off, he's down to his underwear and his boots, takes up a cell phone and walks the hell out. No, it wasn't, no, no, no, no, no, he wasn't. He wasn't, hey, hey, three board member. I'm not really the police chief, but

Let me hop up on the board here. I feel like he has a career in the, you know. Right. Down the... I mean, he didn't have his car. He just walked out. He said, the hell with you all. You want me gone?

You said immediately those were the orders. I'm out. And he called his wife and he started walking home. She came and picked him up about a mile down the road. But that's the way to leave. Not but naked. Well, he had his underwear. The underwear, yeah, the skivis were his.

And the boots. Maybe. Maybe. I was going to double check the receipts on that. because they probably were paid by him, but then he asked for... Yeah, I don't know. He got reimbursed for the boots, man. We want those.

We need those. No, no, just your socks. Just your socks leave. And usually the socks, they're issued a socks because I remember the military. It was issued shoes and socks. So he should have... We need those two. We need those too, bro.

Now, maybe after he did that, they were like, just let him keep the boots and the socks. We feel bad now. because they said you don't have to do that now and he was like, no. Oh no, you want me out, I'm out. You want me out? I'm out.

Yeah, I'm not saying. I don't want to be here. I agree with it. I do too. Absolutely. I do too. If you're saying with that, we need that stuff immediately. Okay, bye.

Here you go. Bye. Immediately it is then. Here you, right. Have the state police come and pick it up then. Are you driving home? Candle smelling bitch. Wait.

Did I say, no, Captain, we're just getting rid of, we're just firing. Candle Smith I think that should be today's show That's just a quote This is the quote that the captain said I can't help I mean look It doesn't say that in the story

But here we read between the lines Right I'm just reading between the lines That's what he said Candle smelling bitch So When you Usually

Smoked pot Never done Back of the day What's up Never done Shut up everyone in the world has smoked pot once in their life.

I have not smoked pot. Shut up. Now there's been pot in the room. So you got the second hand smoke? Yes, and it was for police training. So because in order for me to to testify that I smelled marijuana on the human, I have to go through training

and actually smell marijuana as his being there. Did they make you walk up to humans and smell it too? Because it smells different after it's burnt up on the, if you know, if you catch the smoke on the body. No, because this is federal, so you can't have nobody, and the cops can't even smoke it. So what they do, they just light it on like...

No, I'm saying, but what I'm asking is that when you, like, you know marijuana when it's being smoked, you know the smell, all right? But after you smoke it, and it's like when you smoke a cigarette and then you smell someone, you know, you have that cigarette smell, but it's not the same as the burning cigarette smell. And that's the same with pot. It's not the same, the smell. See, but when you smoke...

The after smell is not the same as the burning smell. We don't care about the after smell. Okay. We care that when we're passing the dorms, we're smelling it being burnt. Gotcha. But if you smell them post, that means that they were. Yeah, but they. You can't prove it was them.

Yeah. So anyway, so everybody smoked pot, like I said. Everybody has. Okay. So Cleveland Browns of the National Football League. team. They have an offensive tackle that goes by the name of Greg Robinson. He was

pulled over at the border in El Paso with 157 pounds of marijuana. Is that a lot? How much did you put inside a bar? Several large duffel bags

in the rear cargo area of his car. 157 pounds? 157 pounds? No, hold on. How much are you supposed to put like in a bong? Oh, that's just a, I mean, just a little. Oh, so. So you don't need 150 pounds.

People usually buy an ounce. An ounce. How many ounces in a pound? I swear to God. If you look at a map and can't tell me a country and now you want to know, I don't know how many ounces are in a pound. Okay, here's, here's. Here's a little deal.

All right, there's 16 ounces in a... You know what? I'm not going to give you the whole... Yeah, 16 ounces right here. I'm not going to give you the whole thing. I'll give me... Is there like a trick? Is there a trick?

Yeah, give me a trick. All right. No. No. No. I'll Google the trick. I don't know how to Google that, but I will Google the trick.

No, you're right. There's 16 ounces in a pound. Yeah. Who knows their... Who knows their weights? Multiply their weights. amassed by 16. Is that the trick? No, seriously. Come on. Give me the trick.

So, 157 pounds a pot. Now, I have a feeling. He's facing like 20 years in prison for 157 pounds a pod. It seems that. Wow. So he's at a border patrol checkpoint. He's got, you know, he's got 157 pounds. I have a feeling that he and his buddy who got arrested here, they're looking for 20 years. another pro football player. I have a feeling. And they were college players together. I feel like,

and this is definitely reading between the lines, but I bet you. I bet you anything. This ain't the first time they've done this. Absolutely. All right. First time they got caught. Right.

Yeah. So they're NFL players. And they go down. They got a deal. They go down. They buy 157 pounds of pot. They bring it back and they smoke it. You know who's piss?

Louis. Luis from Mexico. He's piss. Because you know for a fact that Luis from Mexico lost money on that. I mean, it's just... And by the way, that's 2,500 ounces of pot. Wait a second.

Hold on a second. The point of evidence that Robinson rented the car in Los Angeles, planned to travel Louisiana, with Bray and an Uber driver. And Leslie offered the third individual money to claim the marijuana. Oh. So the Uber driver is like,

dude, tell him it's yours. Hold on. There's an Uber driver? Where did they get the? Hold on. I guess it's the Mexican border Uber. So they order an Uber to go to Mexico?

So, is that a thing? They have two former former college football players, which I do. I do this part. All right. Everything I've told.

told you so far is true. I'm just finding new stuff out on the story. They plan to Robinson rented a car in L.A. Okay. They planned to travel to Louisiana. Okay. Both players, Robinson and a Uber driver. Where did this Uber driver come from?

Uber heaven. Yeah, but like, was the Uber driver in the vehicle when the pot was in the vehicle? I guess so. So did they order an Uber just to cross the border? Is that something that? I guess so. I feel like this Uber driver. Set them up.

Yes. So was it pod the Uber drivers or was it the football players? Well, according to this, Robinson offered the third party individual, the Uber driver, money to claim the marijuana. But that's still the Uber driver saying that, right? The Uber driver's saying he offered me money to say it was mine. He's just setting him up, right? But why was there Uber driver involved here in?

That's what's getting me thrown off. this is the Uber driver. But the third person refused and said they did not know where the drugs were in the vehicle. So it's the Uber driver setting them up. This is a good case for them. You're welcome. I'm so lost. So because the third Uber driver wasn't charged.

Now, according to the Border Patrol, they said they also found 23 Mason jars. Oh, Mason Jar. An electronic scale. Ooh, that takes $3,100 in cash and canceiling machine. So. Ready for distribution.

Okay. You working for the government now? Oh, the scale. They're bringing it back for some of the other NFL players. They're not looking to sell it. Do we really know, like, I'm still stuck with this Uber driver. Why were these two feet? players with an Uber driver.

I don't know. We got to dig into this. Or is it a friend that it's an Uber driver because I'm an Uber driver too. So if we get busted and the Uber driver said that was with Jeff Fisher that he told me I'd give you 100 bucks if you take

claim for what is in the back. So according to this is the actual release here. So they approached the checkpoint station. U.S. Border Patrol K-9 unit. I hate $1. dog people.

Hey, that's my people. Oh, that's right. That was my job too. I was a drug dog. Alerted the vehicle. He sat. All right. So the dog.

Sat. The dog just, you know. Sat? Nope. The dog sat. Err. That's what they do. They just growl.

No, they don't. Then they put their paw up and point to the car. No, they just so stupid. They just sniff and sit. So agents asked the driver to park the vehicle in the secondary inspection area. You know you're in trouble right there. Oh, absolutely. You know that's it, man.

If you see that dog. sit and they say, sir, can you pull up to that bay right there? With the dog growls and points his paw at you? Man, you are in trouble. He just looks, focus, because he knows a ball is going to come out of that whatever he pointed. Right. So the growl of the paw point, you're screwed. And the nose.

The complaint, you know, they further states that Robinson rented the vehicle in L.A. Okay. This, okay. The vehicle that got caught. Could you stop? No, because the vehicle that they got caught, he rented it, right? Yes. Okay.

keep going because I got to follow this Yeah that's what I was going to try Okay keep going Okay so he rented the vehicle in LA Uh huh Had arranged for a third individual In the vehicle

The Uber driver He had met in 2018 To drive him and Bray The other His pal his buddy With the vehicle that they rented To Louisiana Oh okay so

The Uber driver was just there He's there An individual they met a couple years ago and he is considered an Uber driver. Okay, so this is just basically a third friend. The Uber driver has nothing to do with that. Because Uber has nothing to do with that. That's what I'm saying. He's just the third guy who happens to be an Uber driver.

So he's just a getaway guy. He's a guy that would. Look, we need somebody to drive us. Come along for the ride and when we get tired, you're driving. But this was not an official Uber driver scenario where he drove from L.A. to Mexico. Are you like the attorney for Uber now? Well, because I was getting so confused. Like, did he just?

Okay. All right. So, after the inspection. Okay. The third individual. The rat. Yeah. Claimed that they offered him money to say that the marijuana was theirs, was his.

And when he refused. then they were arrested and he was let go because it was their car they had rented it so he was just a bystander he was the setup no now that now that you read it yeah he shouldn't have been charged at all I was getting confused with the Uber driver like that has nothing to do with the whole store

is nothing no like they just try and get clicks so when people put Uber driver correct this story comes up correct and it has absolutely nothing to do with it I thought it was a guy driving them from California to Mexico. No, I got what you got. Like, this is... I understand what you thought.

Everybody in the world now understands what you thought and what confused you. I bet you confused everybody the way you read it. But thank you for reading. We'll be right back. Yeah, whatever. Let's be right back. know this or not, but I used to live in Florida for a number of years. And I live there in Tampa Bay area, the west coast of the east coast of North America. Well, not far from there is a city

called Lakeland. And if you've gone to Disney World or know that area, you know that Lakeland is in the middle. It's out there in Polk County. One of my favorite sheriffs in the whole country is the sheriff of Polk County, Grady Jett. He's had a problem going on there now, though, at Lake Hollingsworth in Lakeland. And maybe, Chris, your folks I know live in Orlando, they might go to Lake Hollingsworth for the weekend just to hang out at the lake. And I would advise them to be careful because they, well, now they can't even get in. I mean, thankfully, the park has shut it down and you can't get it to the lake.

Parks and Recreation has just closed it down. But apparently there for a while people were coming in. and this time of year, a giant snake orgy happens at Lake Hollingsworth. I'm sorry? A giant snake orgy happens at Lake Hollingsworth. And that's not a new endo, right? You're actually talking about actual snakes. That's correct.

Okay. And they get together and it's their yearly thing? Yeah, they show up every year and it's like, Oh, yeah. Get over here. with that poor tongue. Did you just slither out of the lake for me? Come on up over here to this picnic table.

Let's have a little snake love. You're making me lose my skin. Yeah, so you don't want any part to the snakes. You know, you come up on the part, big part of the snake orgies all over. They're in the tree limbs. They're in the water. They're on the shorelines. Just don't disturb them.

You don't want to piss off a snake in the middle of Orgy Time. Lake Collins were. So be careful. That's all I'm saying. It's snake time. As long as we're in Florida. Oh, we're in Texas. What's that?

We're in Texas. No, but I meant the story. This story is I got another story that's also in Florida. Well, at one point, one house I lived in in Florida, in the technically in the city of St. Petersburg, Florida, this neighborhood had guinea hens running around. And there wasn't that many. There was maybe three,

maybe a half dozen of guinehins. And I don't know if you know what, guinea hens, they are freaking loud. If you think, these are kind of out in a park. This audio is guinea hens out in a park. but think of that up on your porch

we had a carport the house I was living at the time had a carport and they would come up come up into the carport and they would do their guinea hen noise that's freaking loud man it is freaking loud

now I will say that people do get a little upset in the neighborhood when that noise happens and they got bad at me I was like what? They're under my car porous, making their guinea head noise. And I decided that there was time for them to stop with their guinea head noise.

I'll tell you that. I'm trying to nap. Okay, better. So there's a neighborhood in Miami that has a bunch of guinea hens running around and making all these noises. And now the people are, oh, they're mating at night. They're pooping all over the place. They're scratching. cars.

All right. They travel in packs. 20 to 40. That's a lot of bullets. Right. But that's also, that's the way it goes. Sorry.

We lost them. Oh, no. Guinea-Hen's dead. You know what? We're all dining. We're having a neighborhood barbecue. Guinea-Hent barbecue going on this weekend in the neighborhood. But now apparently they're going to pay

to have them removed. So I'm going to round them up. Round them up. Oh, I thought you're going to shoot them. No, no, they're going to round them out. We're not going to have, I've all for the Ginnahannan barbecue weekend. Ah. They probably taste that chicken.

You know what? You put barbecue sauce on them? I don't care. They'll taste fine. Just make sure the meat is cooked, slapped that barbecue sauce on them, and let's go. And it'll make it easier since we're going to round them up and get them ready for the barbecue. Because what happens when you? Yeah, then sometimes, you know, blows them apart.

There's not a lot of meat. You can't eat it. It's tough. It's tough to, you know, stuff them and make them look good because you end up. There's a hole. There's a giant hole in the sky. And then you have to plug it up. People get mad at you when you stuff them and stick them out in the yard.

Just the dead guinea and subscribe to more content. All right. I never shot a guinea hat, okay? I just didn't. This is a joke. All right. So let's talk about your lordship. Did we've ever finish that up with your lordship?

No, we haven't. So Chris is now a lord. And he thinks everyone should call him Lord Cruz. Nope, I don't think so. I know they should be called. Lord Chris Cruz of Kerry. Lord Chris Cruz of Kerry, K-E-R-R-Y. Yes, not to be confused.

Now, this came to you through your bloodline and your family members and you realize that you're... This came through me by purchasing land in Ireland. Oh, so you're like Megan Markle now. He's just buying into the royals. Yes. Yes.

So I received money. And you didn't have to screw Harry. Anyway. I wouldn't mind it. No. I wouldn't mind. I mean, Andy didn't have to screw Harry. I wouldn't mind that.

Okay, thank you. Right. Gotta reach over. Not very... I'm sorry to bother. I'm sorry to inconvenience you, your lordship. Thank you. Thank you.

So I got my certificate. I showed you a couple days ago. The Lords of Ireland. Officially document of the Lords of Ireland for the use of the unique title, Lord or Lady of Carey. So. From the recognized authority. Oh, geez. Oh, all right.

No, go ahead. Okay. From the recognized authority of the Lords of Ireland as owner of property. on one part. Wait, stop. So not only did you spend money for the lordship, you had to go and meet Megan, Markle, and fool around and get the lordship,

and get the royals, you purchased property. Because I was gonna say, I thought to actually be a lord or lady or whatever they wanna call the females in Ireland, you have to own property. Yes. Okay. So I did that. And so you got one, three, four hundred acre farm in Ireland now.

As owner of property on the one part and the person named below, Chris Cruz. On the other part, this deed confirms admission into the society of the joint owners of our land in Ireland. As the owner of land in Ireland, the above name, Chris Cruz, is now specified as Tarana. which means both landowner and lord or lady. With this transfer of joint ownership, we bestow on you the right to use this unique item. Why are you talking like this? Because it's like a novel announcement.

This document is recorded in strictly confidential database by the Lord's own. Oh, that'll be good. I think we need to redo this. I would like the whole circus, pump and circus. Let's do it. All right, we'll do it. Let's do it. You have any questions?

No, I mean, we'll save it for the, we'll actually save it for the presentation. Because we want the full presentation. What is the circus and pumpus? Your large. Your lordship. Not large. No, I said your lordship. Yeah, but I felt like you're going to say large.

No, no, no, no. Are you jealous? So, again, you didn't answer how many acres you are. Oh, one plot. And one plot is Yeah, one plot One plot is One plot

The One plot is How large is the one plot? They didn't tell me But they just said it's one plot How many owners Can own the same plot of land? I believe right now

I'm the 1,382nd owner So So you just have a small piece of that lot Maybe Or do you have that lot? I have that lot. But is that piece the lot? You know, when you say a lot, are they calling a one inch by one inch square of land a plot?

I think so. That's like buying a freaking star or something, man. These people had you so bad. Whatever you spend on that. Unlike a star, I can go visit my plot. Can you? Yes, it's in Ireland. Can you?

A trip there. Bro. you know what I want that to happen. It will happen. I want you to go and see your plot of land because, hey. Because they're so excited that when I told them like actually, because they email me said, oh, congratulations, you, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, how many people have actually,

because at the end of the email says, we can't wait to see you. And I'm like, okay. Okay. So I asked them, I was like, hey, how many people have actually taking you up on the hey if you come we'll do this whole circus pumpus whatever right because it's called the pop and circuses but that's okay go ahead i knew it was something like that and uh she goes zero so zero no one has come and actually visited them wow you might get the red carpet i know that's what i'm saying about to save money really quick because i can't go this year i'm already going to

this stupid cruise that i'm scared i don't think it's going to happen i don't think this cruise is going to happen. I think he needs to start putting some... Oh, I mean, that's Boo. Yeah. And by the way, here's some credit for our next cruise. Yeah. Yeah. First person just died from that cruise. What we're going to do is we're going to put you out the cruise here in the Caribbean

and then we're not moving. We're just going to call this the cruise. Okay, there you go. Get on. Do you see that? The first Diamond Princess person died? It's so sad. It's a sad day in the cruise world. It actually is. It actually is. And I listen to

an interview with the head of Diamond Princess, the female, whatever her name is. Princess. Whoever they gave her. Princess. Yeah, Princess. Name after her. Sorry, I apologize.

And she was, she was great. She was actually, she handled it really well. But reading between the lines, she knows she's, holy cow. Because it falls on the CEO. Bleeding money.

Oh, yeah. Just bleeding money. On top of bleeding customers. Thank you. I mean... You do know I have to reach, right? Again, I apologize, your lordship. Thank you.

Wow. Which, by the way, this is the card. You have a card like that? It's your little printing card. No, you know what? For the longest time, I had a guy come to my... Yeah, I had a guy who reminds me, I was working at a record store.

What? And this guy comes up to the... He comes up to the store. Talking like you now. It came up to the store one day, and he's got a little printing thing, and he wants to make. He says, I'll make social security numbers, whatever your card is. And so he makes me a social security card with a metal thing. Oh, metal.

Okay. Just a little, like that one, a little metal tin, whatever it was, with my social security number on it and my name. Oh, that's cool. And I had it forever. I was like, yeah, I like one. Did you give him me social? Had the little thing? Yeah.

At that time, it was 100 years ago. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Did you give him your social security card or did you just give him social security card? No. No, I did, just a number. Because, I mean, who doesn't know their Social Security number off the top of their head? I don't know my security.

That's what I thought. No one. No one. Everyone knows their number. Everyone. I'm like LifeLock. I feel comfortable enough to say it on the air because LifeLock got me. I love that commercial.

Remember that commercial? So anyway. Yes, I remember the stupid LifeLock commercial. So cool. You guys driving out with Social Security number on the thing? That's so cool. You done Hawking LifeLock? I'm not hawking life lock

I sure are I thought it's kind of cool that the guy had his real social security number in New York City and he was not worried about it yeah nobody was worried about it at the time

and they realized that they could get all kinds of bad things happened so they made you worry about it that's why he sold it made the company Lifelock and Lifelock.com yeah that means

it seemed bitter or something I mean whatever but I'm just saying that And so I had it forever. It was really like I loved the stupid thing. What happened to it?

And I had it in my wallet. Well, it got all bent up and it got too old and I had to get rid. But when I went to get something at some government building. And I said, yeah, I got my social security card. No way. And they're like, uh, no? No? Really?

And I'm like, I've had this thing forever. When you're talking about this? Shut up to take it. This is my social security. Yeah, shut up a ticket. Oh, I don't like that. Oh. And so I had, I seriously, I don't know where my, at that time, I didn't know where my social security card was.

So I had to go through, jump through a million hoops. Do you know you only get 10 in a lifetime? What? He has. I can only lose one more. Wait. So, I mean, then I had to jump through hoops to get, you know, have them send me a new car. You have a birth certificate.

I was, I was like, I don't, just. So now, you know, I mean, I have the social security card that I keep under lock and key. Oh, never mind. Oh, okay I can get more than 10 So you may receive no more than three Replacements Social Security cards

Oh no In one year Oh okay, who And 10 Lifetime So I can't only get one more Holy cow Really?

You lost it that many time? Oh, stop it I've only lost it twice No I've never lost it I've never well I guess the count says The first one that I lost it But I didn't lose it

I had another metal card True True you didn't lose No you did lose it. The actual one, I didn't know where it was, yeah. Because you... I may have actually thrown it away in those days,

thinking that I was okay as long as I had the metal. Well, I feel like if you would give him you actual social security card and he made that into a... No, he did not. Yeah, that thing... He just kept it robbing me blind for the last 100 years. Have you checked your credit report? Well, the answer to that is yes.

No, have you... I know when you apply for houses, they check it for you. Oh, yeah. You actually sat behind a... They roll out the scroll and they're like, what about all this stuff? Like, that's not me, that's not me. You have 127 open accounts.

That's not me. That's not me. And so, you know, and I've only had a couple people pretend to be me to the IRS. Really? Don't worry about it. Have you actually for real? I don't worry about it.

That is so cool. Eh, don't worry about it. How did you get it back? How did you get your life back? Oh, you haven't. Lifelock.com. He's such a douche. I'm really curious about you.

Joking around, like always. We've got Walking Dead back this weekend, too. I am fired up, baby. Everybody talked about it. Did you get the app? Walking Dead. You say you're going to take the app. Talking Walking Dead, we'll be back.

Stop talking for a minute because I'm promoting the podcast. Talking Walking Dead will be back one day. Jason, Maximus, myself. Is he really going to come? Because for the first half of this season, he didn't come at all. well he was out of town did they not have cell phones no they did not have cell phones or pay phones

no smoke signals they did have smoke signals and we aired those oh we did we could we aired those on the podcast if you go back you go back and listen to the podcast you can you know the air when there's nothing where it seems like there's just this dead air that's just the smoke signals yeah

but he's out of town what are you going to do okay I'm out of town He was out of town working. And what was I doing? I don't know. Helping the youths. Helping the youths.

Now, you know. What youth? From church. I'm a youth leader. You know this. You know this because you make fun of me all the time. No, I do not. And by the way.

I think it's wonderful. Those youths are listening to this dumb program. I think it's wonderful that you're helping those youths out. But I have an issue with the youths. I have an issue with the youths. Because some of them have stopped listening to this program. And you know where they went? Pat Gray.

And I quote, I can relate to that guy. You're 17 years old. Pat is not 17 years old. How can you relate to that guy? I'm on that show too, though, so I'm okay with it. Yeah, you are. Wednesdays and Fridays.

I'm all right. In Fridays, you're only supposed to be on Fridays when there's more on trivia, but you somehow convince them that. I just show up. Every Friday is your day. I just show up. Wednesday, that's me.

Yeah. I don't show up for the whole show on Wednesday. Oh, you don't? Oh, you don't? Oh, I missed the first half hour. And then after that? I do chewing the fat. And then after that you stay.

And then I can't get up out of the chair, so I stay. So exactly. So you're on this. I got to say, wait a minute. No, I've seen you a little. It's not the entire show. Yeah. No, the first half hour I'm not in here.

Why is that? Because it's the chewing the fat day. And then after chewing the fat, I stick around. So you're only three-fourth of the show. All I know is it's not the whole show. Facts are facts. It's not the entire show. Very interesting.

Very interesting. Why is that? Is that difficult to understand? No, it's not. No, I understand this better than the football player in the marijuana joint thing. On that one, I literally have to write down notes and make sure. that was following the story, but. I've got so much for Fat Pile Fry.

Can we do like a headline segment before Saturday? Because there's no Saturday podcast this week, so I want to apologize for that. Fish had decided not to do extra work. We've got one in the can. We do? Yeah. Who?

Yeah, what's his face? Nope. Yep. We demo better have. Who? I mean, I worked my tongue to the bone on that interview. He'd better be in the can. You point over there.

In the can, I don't mean a mayonnaise jar in the back of a drug car. No, we don't have anything in the can, babe. Everything aired. No, it didn't. You really making me question, and this is highly upsetting because I... Who? Peter Swicer. Oh, I didn't do that one.

Profiles and corruption. Where's that one at? It's in the can. Well, that was when Christian was here. I don't know who was here. I just know I've done the interview. and it was in the can and I was saving it

because he did the tour here in the building and all the shows interviewed Peter and I love Peter Schweitzer and I love his work and he's a good man and we had a great time talking with each other but I didn't want him to get buried in the Peter Schweitzer avalanche here at the blaze

and so I held back my interview with him to air it in a little bit so that he was on his own so tomorrow Peter Schweitzer I got to call Christian because I do not know where that thing is. Do I want to post that tomorrow? Do we even have it for tomorrow? I mean, maybe we, could we, you know, in honor of the Las Vegas caucuses,

the Nevada caucuses. Okay. For these criminals. Okay. His book profiles of corruption lays out quite the number on these guys. And in fact, Bloomberg commented on one of the things that was, was found out in Schweitzer's book about Bernie Sanders during the debate on Wednesday night with his three houses. The only thing he didn't do.

Uh-oh. And he probably didn't do it because he's as guilty as Bernie is that his third house is in a trust fund. So he doesn't have to pay taxes on it. Oh, that's smart. I know that. Can you put anything in a trust fund? But I'm just saying that Mr. Mr. the government should own and run everything

doesn't want to pay taxes to that very same government with his own stuff. Can I put my house right now in a trust fund so I don't pay taxes? I'm not an attorney. I just play one here on the air. My answer to that would be, go ahead. Well, do you answer to everything?

No, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. I don't trust that. Go ahead. Go ahead. Are you done or can you do some headlines? I'll give you one headline. Then we're out.

I can't do any more than one. Holy cow. I give it, I give it. I give. It may be two. Much better. I'll give you the first one. First one.

Bill Gates bought himself a Porsche, an electric Porsche instead of a Tesla. And made a big deal about it. Elon Musk has responded. Yeah, my boy. Which, by the way, stock market is at 800. Elon Musk responded by saying, yeah, my conversations with Gates have been underwhelming.

So he basically just trump him. That sounds just like Trump. Yes, it does. That sounds just like Donald Trump. It does. Yes. It's like, okay, you're not willing to give me money for that? Okay, you suck.

Yes, it does. I never liked our conversations. Goodbye. Now last weekend, oh, no, this week, we did the interview with my man Gordon about the Russians among us. Yeah, that's when we found out that you liked, once again, birds, pigeons, World War II guy. So then we find out, I think later that same day that I did the interview with Gordon Guerrera, that a Mexican is now being accused of being a Russian agent for photographing U.S. informants cars in Miami. Russians among us.

So you go back and listen to that interview on once. I mean, my gosh. Chewing the fat. We are, I don't know what you're doing with your life if you're not listening. chewing the fat and your little youths of America I'm okay with them listening to Pat it's fine I got no problem

with that I love Pat Gray for now but there's more room for people that just want podcast what do you mean? Well if you listen to Pat you can still listen to chewing the fat oh yeah we're only a you know you made it seem like

they've just dropped chewing the fat right off yeah but I just didn't like how they were like I could relate more to Pat Did they say more or they can relate? No, they say more. I do not understand that. So I have to dive in. I'll talk to them this weekend.

We need more information on that. Yeah, because I'm kind of confused. Well, that's nothing new there. See, when I point the finger like that at the end of a punchline, that means for you to push the button. I know it's confusing. Can we tighten up that? That's that there.

I know you probably had to reach your. No, my head was already there.