Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 31 | Al Sharpton Has Spoken

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

Jeffy brings you the news of the day to include an update on the runner killing a mountain lion, water cooler headlines and a update on Jussie Smollett "Chicago attack" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

According to the National Pest Management Association, the cold weather, which saw temperatures drop below zero, the polar vortex, may have killed 95% of the stink bugs that didn't find shelter to stay warm. Oh, no, the polar vortex is killing bugs. It killed the southern pine beetles. and numerous invasive insects. Good.

Can we have more polar vortex, please? All right, welcome to it. This is Chewing the Fat on the Blaze Podcast Network. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. I just wanted to say those of you that got your second alert today. Remember, today is the day that we send out talking, walking, Dead. It's Monday. If you don't want to listen to Talking Walking Dead, it's fine. You don't have to listen. Of course, chewing the fat gets posted, just like it always does every afternoon. So, you know,

just what you need to do is, well, since you already subscribe, you need to download Talking Walking Dead and then delete it. You don't have to listen to it, but you do need to download it and then delete it. It's real simple. But really, I mean, Chris will be mad at me, but you don't even have to do that as far as I'm concerned. If you don't want to listen to it, just get rid of it. But he wants you to download it, then delete it. So go ahead and do that if you want. All right, 100,000 pounds of chicken is being recalled. Vick's acquisition recalling close to 100,000 pounds of chicken

because of mist branding and an undeclared allergen eggs. Actually, this is not, I mean, if this is the chicken that we could possibly buy at my house, my wife was allergic to eggs, so it could be an issue. You got the 1.5, 1.5 pound packages containing one frozen steambag meal of happy, happy, foody, bloody, Mary inspired chicken. 1.5 pound packages containing one frozen steam bag meal of Essie's grocers, Marcella chicken. 1.5 a pound packages containing one frozen steam bag meal of Mediterranean herb chicken. Amazing.

Actually, and I said 100,000 pounds. I apologize. I want to lead with my mistakes. 99,975 pounds. There have been no confirmed reports of adverse reactions. Just letting you know that it's been recalled. It's a Texas-based VIX acquisition. and they couldn't immediately be reached for comment.

However, one of the things that they did is that they're the ones that reported it. They discovered the problem. And then while they were reviewing their labels and said, you know, we probably ought to let people know. And so they have, and they're telling you, hey, if you have these in particular packages, throw them out or take them and get your money back. Now, we have said all along, since this podcast started, since the beginning, the beginning of chewing the fat, that something is going on. Something has happening.

I don't know what, but something is going on out there. Okay? We now have zombie deer disease is spreading. It's in 24 states. Thousands of infected deer are eaten each year. Amazing. Now, it's dubbed zombie deer disease. Right now, it hasn't hit humans, but it could. The chronic wasting disease afflicted free-ranging deer, elk, and or moose in 24 states and two Canadian provinces this past January. Wow. We are an unknown territory here, said the director of Center for Inverbalmust.

infectious disease research and policy at the University of Minnesota. And who doesn't subscribe to everything the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota do. Last week, they testified before state lawmakers warning about possible human impacts. It's probable. According to the infectious disease research and policy at the University of Minnesota, it's probable that the human cases of chronic wasting disease associated with consumption with contaminated meat will be documented. documented in the years ahead. It's possible the number of human cases will be substantial

and will not be isolated. Right now, no cases of CWD have been reported in humans. But it's coming. Also, wet weather in California bringing an increase of Kawasaki disease. People are turning into motorcycles? No, duh. The symptoms of Kawasaki disease include fever, rash, swelling of hands and feet, bloodshot eyes, swollen lymph glands in the neck, red mouth, lips and throat. Peeling of the fingers and toes occurs in many patients after the fever has subsided. Patients should take children with these symptoms to a medical provider for an evaluation. Uh, yeah?

Kawasaki disease is not an illness many physicians have diagnosed. Well, if you come in with fever, rash, swelling of hands and feet, bloodshot eyes, swollen lymph glands of the neck, red mouth, lips and throat, and your fingers are peeling and your toes are peeling, I'm guessing the doctor's going to say, oh my gosh, you have Kawasaki disease. Now, the Kawasaki Disease Research Center in San Diego, children have been diagnosed with Kawasaki disease so far this year twice as many, twice as many children

have been diagnosed with Kawasaki disease. Wow. Untreated, roughly one quarter of the children with Kalasaki disease develop coronary artery aneurysms, balloon-like bulges of heart vessels, and may ultimately result in heart attacks,

congestive heart failure, or sudden death. This is serious business as Kawasaki disease. That's why they're reporting it, Jeff. The Kawasaki disease is estimated to affect fewer than 6,000 children in cases appear to be rising in San Diego County. Well, I mean, the wet weather

like the headline said. The wet weather bringing an increase of Kalasaki disease. They've issued a health advisory to area doctors. And today, they're asking parents to be alert

about a local increase in Kawasaki disease. I know, right? Where was it when I needed it earlier? I don't know. Jeffrey, no, you do not age once you die. You don't, you don't. Yes, you do.

You age when you die. You don't. You don't age when you die. Time stops when you're dead. Wrong. So when Amy Winehouse died in 2011, she died at 27 years. years old and that's it. She's not 20. It would have been seven, eight years ago.

So, 27, 24, 35. 34, 34. Like I said 34. So, no, she's not 34 right now because she's dead. But her body is. Her body is dust and maggots. So it aged.

It didn't age. It composed. She composed. She's not a age. She's not aging Is it compost or compost? Compost Compost is the one that you do

We recycle Yeah I prefer the term decaying Did I not just tell you To stop talking in there And I'm not talking to Chris I mean Chris knows At least when I ask him to be quiet

He hasn't up being quiet So today we recorded talking Walking Dead Earlier in the day And I I hate Monday Just what you know Drag along my kid

In here to do the show with me And so he sticks around for the day He's in there watching Chris or learning from Chris. Oh, good Lord help me. Or, you know, doing whatever it is he does until I take him home. But what Chris has his microphone on, you're not part of this show, chewing the fact. You're part of talking Walking Dead, Maximus. So, zip it.

I wouldn't need another mistake like Christian. Right. Thank you. And I already had to holler at him. Those guys in there yapping around. I mean all of a sudden I doubt that Maximus is going to say I doubt that because he's not

Christian and not the religion because Christians are not supposed to say that word they aren't no they're not I learned that of my class this week last week stop it they did not teach you about the word

what kind of classes are you taking seriously where are you going? I'm taking classes saw the book you and I need to have a little private one-on-one. We do that every day. Yeah, but about this, though. This is, it started to get out of hand.

You need to, I don't know what your deal is, what you got, composting, but we need to talk. Anyway, back to bodies aging. Of course, they, and we still aid, we just don't think of it as, you know, we don't go to the, of course, we go to the gravesites

on their birthdays, celebrate their birthdays, why do we do that? To remember the person, not to celebrate his birthday. Exactly, to remember on their birthday, because they're aging. It's like everybody else.

Have you thought about when you die, your birthday's going to be on the tombstone so people will know your real age. I was born on January 29th. Yeah, I will say that probably. I guess you could have that scraped off, though. Wow, I can't believe that now I know you real age. Am I the only one?

Uh, in this building, yeah. Wow. At this building, yes. and you damn well are going to beep that out that better have been beeped out if I start getting notes if I start getting direct notes you know direct notes on my social

you mean direct messages direct notes I don't get direct messages because you have a stupid Android does not change the wording on your direct messages DM it's not D N yeah it's just direct notes I created my own

So stupid. Anyway, congratulations to Anthony Weiner too. Weiner's out. A weiner is out, baby. He is out now. And he's unsupervised release. And so, you know, he's been good behavior. He's three months shy of his 21-month sentence.

So they're sending him off to his little pre-hey, you get out free. You still have to register as a sex offender. Dushbag. Yeah, it's just You know, good, I guess. That's just a way for them. They use that as an example of being able to

get you to re-establish back into the community. But do we need the wiener to reestablish himself back in the community? Do we need that? Do we need the wiener out? That's what I'm saying. And by the way, if I'm Bill Cosby, I'm pissed today. Oh, because the wiener's out?

Well, the wiener. I mean, okay, let's be fair here. He was sentenced, and he did his time, or he's doing his time, and he's just on his way out, and they're just, you know, they're the three-month halfway houses for him to, you know, get back into society. And hopefully it's paid off. You know, maybe he's ready to go. He gets out.

He gets back into the re-entry center. He's be fine. He gets out of the streets again. Don't give him a phone. And don't give him a phone that can download apps. Just give him the single phone that you give the little kids. flip phone. I raise her clip phone.

Just give it to little kids. Yeah. Just so if there's an emergency, use it. That's it. If we need to get a hold of you, that's it. In fact, you could use your ankle bracelet as a charger. And it's a perfect little thing for you, Tony. I blew it with Anthony, though.

I'm really bummed. I can't wait. I hope, I wonder if he did it because when he first went into jail, he talked about wanting people. Yes, he talked about people wanting to write, we wanted people to write letters to him. And I really wanted to do that. make a deal of writing letters to weiner because if he would have responded it would have been such a great thing to have him respond to these but nobody's talked about it so i don't know that anybody sent him letters or if he's kept it private or what i have not seen any reports about

letters to weiner at all it was just his comment about sending letters so that means i'm even more bummed because my letters would have gotten through and he would have he would have replied to It would have been, dear Tony, I saw you on TV. Carlos. Dear Tony, I mean Carlos. I saw you on TV, and my friend showed me a text message that you sent her back in 2004, when nobody knew who you were doing. I mean, look.

Are you still married? I know she filed for divorce. Is that bitch gone yet? Oh, that was my next question. Did she file? Because I don't remember anything. I think they filed, but then they never went through it. That's what I'm saying.

I don't think there's not the final. Yeah. As far as I know, they're still married. Yeah. Okay. Look. Do you stay or do you go? If I'm her, I am down the road, baby.

Do they have kids? Especially after, yeah. That's what got him in trouble. That's what got him in trouble. He was babysitting. He was babysitting the one picture. Oh, yeah. The baby was on the-

The kid was taking a nap next to him. Which I, by the way. Now, I better not say that. Never mind. Now, he's going to be registered sex offender. Yeah. Okay. What happens to the kid?

I don't know. Can he still be... It's his kid, right? That's what I'm saying. I never understood the whole sexual. He's probably got to get special dispensation to be with this kid, right? But how can you can't take him to school? That's what I'm saying.

So... The kids can't. school today. Yep, I'm leaving you off right here at the front door. Off you go now. But mommy takes me all the way. This is where Daddy's all the way is right here. Actually, this is the entrance of the school. It starts right about right here. Right here on the front porch. So yeah, that's tough, right? I don't know. Maybe he's able to drive up. You know, right? He's able to drive up and drop him off and then get out. Mommy, can I go to Wiener's house? I want to play with his kid. So what happened to play dates?

Oh, they're done. What happened to, you know, birthday parties. Over history. Wow. That kid goes nowhere with any of that, right? Nowhere. I mean, maybe? No.

No. I mean, he goes, right? Maybe he goes and mom brings him, maybe. He goes and mom bring him or the nanny. Yeah. Or the nanny brings something. I don't think you bring a nanny to the house anymore. If you do bring nanny, you bring Olga from Germany

with a big old mom. I'm okay with Olga, dude. Okay, that's fine. Maybe Olga takes them. You don't bring Britney. Britney's not a lot anymore. You can't bring Britney into the house. You bring Olga.

Yeah. Yeah, agreed with that. No problem. And I'm sure that, I'm sure the wife has Olga working there now anyway. You know, so that's fine. But I don't even know if he goes home to the wife, right? If he goes home or if they're done, if they've split up, I mean, that's going to, he's in a tough place. A real tough place.

because we were all on his side, kind of, when he claimed to be rehabbing and stuff. But then he did that documentary. Did you ever watch that documentary? Yeah, I did. I think we watched it. Didn't we watch it for this show? Unbelievable.

I mean, he was busy texting, sexting during that whole thing when he was supposed to not be doing it. And the way he treated his wife and treats the people, he is just a douche bag. I mean, Anthony Wiener is a total douchebag. So there's no way that he gets over this, right? No way. You don't live your life as Anthony Dush Wiener.

Anthony Carlos Dane, your douche wiener. And come out of that. I mean, come out of that rehabilitated? Right. All right. So we have a new world-class serial killer, if there is such a thing. Be ready for documentaries and everything else about this guy. I'm sure that they've done episodes of episodes of,

of all kinds of serial killer shows on this guy. By the way, before you go there, did you see the Hulu Bundy special? The Hulu Bundy special. It just came out over the weekend. Not the Netflix one. Not the Netflix one. I've not seen the Netflix one.

Hulu just came out with Bundy. How do they do copycats, man? What are they doing? Have you watched the Fry Festival ones yet? Yeah, I did. Both of them? Yes. The Netflix one's supposed to be the best, right?

I'm sorry? The Netflix one's supposed to be the best, right? Netflix is supposed to be the best, yes. Is that what you thought? I have not seen the Hulu Bundy, but I'm ready. I'll watch it. I mean.

I thought of you the whole weekend. I didn't see it because I want you to watch it first and then tell me if it's worth it or not. I'll watch it tonight. Wait, don't you have a life? No. So the serial killer in Texas, Samuel Little,

amazing. He has said, he's claiming that he's, had 90 homicides. He's killed 90 people. Nationwide over the last 40 years. So he's only killed a couple a year.

It'll give me a break with a couple of year. What's going on? He's 78. So he's starting to feel, you know, like he's in poor health and he's in jail. But he's not in our age of our theory. Jeff, he was our age theory? The age theory is when guys, there's a window, a small window. of when performers that have been around a long time,

or even just regular people, really. I mean, this theory could work on them as well, except that we're more, it's more common because we want to hear what the famous people have to say. The average guy at the bar, we don't care about, but he's doing the same thing, right? It's about, this is about right, though, that late 70s, mid-80s, right?

They're still kind of healthy, because see, this says he's in poor health, but he's still kind of healthy. He's, you know, he's not bedridden. You know, he's still kind of okay. He's getting up every day. But he's not like he was in his, you know, mid-60s. But they reach a point where they don't care anymore, okay?

Do I bring some of the music? They've done it all. Right. They've done it all, everything that they think they could do. I mean, plenty of people still want to succeed and still have, you know, goals and stuff that they want to do when they're in their 80s and 90s. I understand that.

And many and some people, you know, still live that. But by that time, you're in the place where you're going to be the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter what you say about whoever you want to say it about. It doesn't change anything about your life. So when people ask you something, you tell the truth. You tell the truth. You say, you know, you don't like that person. You like that person.

Back in the day we used to do this, what are they going to do to me? Of course we did that. What are they going to do to me? I'm 82. And the perfect example was our guy that you covered a couple of months ago last year. What's his name? The old man. Yes.

Yeah, Quincy Jones. We did that whole interview. His whole interview was great because he's at the point now where it's like he doesn't matter. He's Quincy Jones, right? I mean, his life has been wonderful and he's been great. and he's a giant in the music industry, right? But he's 85 this year. All right.

So this would have been last year. He was 84. And that's in that window of I'm going to say what I'm going to say, and I just don't care. It doesn't matter to me. Now, his publicist people are like, ooh, no, don't do those interviews with tell Quincy. No, he can't do those interviews. Don't let those people get them. But this guy was just a magazine guy who happened in and was in his house.

Just have Quincy said, yeah, come on in and interview me. Come on in. And there they sit. And if you're that reporter, you just let it go. Because Quincy just talked about his aliens. He talked about what they did when they were younger. He talked about this. And that was the joke about the Beatles and how crazy they were.

You like Brazilian music. And then he went off to play some Brazilian music because that's what he wanted to listen to at the time. I mean, he just doesn't matter. And that's the window you have to be in. And if you can get the interview with anyone. In that window. With Quincy, I was saying early 80s, but not, you know, I'll give you a late 70s, early 80s, but it's a small window because if you don't hit it just right, then you end up,

you notice you haven't seen a lot of Quincy interviews after that? That's because all those people were like, oh, dear God, don't interview, don't let Quincy talk to anyone again, okay? Nope, we just, do you got any more interviews for me? Nope, nobody called, Quincy. Sorry, nobody wants to talk to you. We know you're famous, but nope. can do look at the time and so so you don't get it anymore you got to get it when the going's hot right you got to go in clean with good thoughts about hey i really do want to talk to this old guy and

i want to know how he how he how he lived i want to know his life i want to know everything but you're hoping in the back of your mind that he's going to be in that window of just telling me whatever the hell he wants there's nothing held back and that's perfect yeah because and i had to look for it because It was the Marlowe Brandon. You should go cha, cha, cha, cha dancing with us. This is Quincy. He could dance his ass off. He was the most charming MFer you ever met.

He'll F anything, anything. He said F a mailbox. James Baldwin, Richard Pryor, Marvin Gayes. He slept with them? How do you know that? Come on, man. Come on, man. He did not give an F.

You like Brazilian music. That was such a tremendous interview. Quincy, I love you, man. But, I mean, is people banking down his door to talk to them? Absolutely they are. Are they getting them? Nope. Don't let anybody in the door.

Nope, sorry, Quincy, we got to travel. You're not going to be talking to anybody. Sorry. Quincy, doesn't anybody want to interview me? Yes, they do, but we just don't have the time. darn the lock, let's go. You know what? There is somebody that needs to talk to you.

What they need is just this comment. Here, just read this over the phone. That's your interview. Thank you. Goodbye. I mean, that's where you're at, right? So this guy's 78, Samuel Little. I mean, he's poor health.

He's in prison. He's had run-ins with the law before. But now he's saying that he's killed over 90 people. Now, they claim that they've for sure got him down for 36. Absolutely for sure. Well, that's a big jump right there. I know. Well, they were already clearing.

There's other cases that are starting to be cleared now that are going to total on who get him above that 36. But if this is absolutely true, and he's drawing pictures of some of the people that he killed, like he remembers, it looks like he remembers, like, where he was and how he killed him,

but he doesn't have a grasp on time too well. Like there were, there was two, according to him, that he killed here in Texas. And one was in Wichita Falls, in 76 or 77. I left her outside the city somewhere.

I don't know what I did with her. And then there was another one, there was another one down by Houston too that I got. But that was like 76 or 79 or maybe that was in the 90s. I don't know. So he's... That's a big window, maybe. Yeah, I mean, yeah, there was that lady in Houston.

I just, I don't know. I just left her outside of town. So what you're saying is that criminal, minds has a new episode in the near future. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And they actually, they've kind of done this before. They had the guy that traveled around the country in his Winnebago and was killing people in different places all around the country for years. And he ended up, uh, they finally, well, because, I mean, it's criminal minds. That's what they do. They finally, uh, baby girl finally pieced it all together. and once she pieces all together

then no problem good to go man criminal minds there's a show that was really good for a while it still is good no

don't no I'm sorry me and you no Jeff you know it's still good all 12 seasons are on Netflix I started rewatching it yeah because you went back to the original that's what I'm saying

no I started watching it the first season's with what's his face they're okay yeah he's good And then they move on away from what's his face. And that was good after he left. It just went away, which is fine.

And then I kind of enjoyed it. And then they started. Well, the main character, the main FBI, not the bearded guy, the other guy, clean-shaved guy, after his wife dies. And then, you know, goes through to. He got into trouble on set. On set. So he had to be let go. I know.

We had to let him go. He was Mr. Dickhead on the set, apparently. And they let some of it slide before. They did. They did. There was a few other kicks. and fights and screaming. It was like, okay, time to go.

Have a nice day. So that was a shit. Oh, look at the serial killer. Got him. Yeah. It got him. And he was, I liked his character too.

He was good. Yes. And that's what kept him around. That's what got him off the hook to fuse couple times because they liked him. But then it was like, okay. You know, the writer's like, okay, let's write him off.

He's done. He's done. We can't have him kicking and biting people on the set anymore. I don't even remember what it was. It was something ridiculous. And, you know, so then they've got a couple of the new characters.

We've got to break down CSI. down CSI with you. I'll bring out my IMDB page and start breaking down characters for you, no problem because the show is over now. All right. While it's on there, Milkenet, CBS is milking it. It's been 12 seasons now, so this is the 13th season or whatever, CSI, or

of a criminal minds. 14, 14 seasons. Yeah. And it's still airing. Because the last episode aired. Like I said, they're still milking it, I know. But, I mean, they've already covered almost every serial killer thing they could do. Now we're just rehashing

old stuff on top of which on top of which hold on hold on hold on you know how they always quote someone at the beginning at the end yeah I have no you don't don't to shut off your microphone

I have the perfect quote to open and or close that show give it to me and I sent it to them and have I heard it on one of their shows no No. No, I haven't. And I want, if I might even say that the show still is good to this day if they were to say my quote at the beginning or the end of the show.

In fact, I want it at the end. I want it at the end. I want to be the last one. And you know, they say the quote and then they, Jeff Fisher. Since they haven't done that, they're done with me. Done with them. Did you know they have a Me Too issue now? Oh, no. As of, uh, what? The 15.

on the set yeah AJ Cook the Blancic the one that is not part of the group but she's part of the group let me see if you can see that picture from there oh yeah her yeah so she's part of the group she was oh she was for a long time yeah and then she married

the guy from Louisiana she married the New Orleans Cup and he's Mr. Bob now yes yeah oh my gosh this is awesome I don't know you were such a fan of this oh my gosh stop it so according to this criminal mind stars fires back after ex-manager accuses her of piggyback piggybacking on the me-to movement wow so the the ex-manager who's pissed at her already for

now she's cut him off is saying that she's piggybacked on the me-to movement piggybacking what is she done i don't know i'm about to find out because i want to know i don't don't i was she's saying that somebody was uh me-to and her on the on the set I'm sorry Does somebody Me Too and her on the set? I didn't know Me Too and was a verb now. It is.

It is on this show. Come on. Let's get to it. I want to know if she was Me Too. She says that and she says that and then it's redacted. Cook says

in her lawsuit that her manager committed fraud when he didn't tell his client about the accusation. made against him by other woman. So other woman accused him

of me towing them and she did not know. So now she's suing. She's mad at him because he didn't tell her? Yes. Oh, that's ridiculous. If you're getting me too, you kind of keep to, you got to have that be on the down low.

Because if you didn't, if you didn't be too, right? If you didn't, if you didn't me too, if you didn't commit me to, then just because you're accused until you get convicted of me-toeing or of bet me-toed, then it's just a case. It never happened. Right. So he doesn't have any special place to tell her who she thinks she is.

I don't know. But do you have the quote that you want to use? Do you have it with you? I don't need it. It's my quote. Oh, it's your quote. Okay. So, and now this is.

for the criminal minds people at CBS. This is audition tape 1 for Jeff Fisher trying for the role of the quote. Wheels up in 30. Live in the dark long enough

and it becomes your light. Jeff Fisher. Come on now. By the way, you already messed up on this tape. You're supposed to do it after the intro plays. Okay, well let's play. Do it again. Here we go. Take two.

Sorry, CBS. This is. is Jeff Fisher, audition tape number two. It's not an audition. It's just for them to use. Okay. Is it here? Is this where I'm supposed to go?

No, not yes. Oh. Edit that out. There we go. There's open. Flash spots. Live in the dark lawn. What?

I don't even get any trailer music or anything. No, it doesn't trail off. It just goes. Oh, come on. First, if they do it when they're out of the plane anyway, it's not after the open. I don't know what seems. CBS is thinking giving me a bogus audition tape like this.

And they do, they always say wheels up at 30. And then they get on the plane. And just as the plane, they show the plane taken off, you get the quote. As they're going off to, you know, Kansas City to get a serial killer. But if it's a real bad serial killer, then it's wheels up right now. We don't have time. You have to get on the plane right now. Wheels up in 10.

Got to go. No time to pack. and then they're worried about the serial killer because a serial killer in, where did I say? Kansas City. Kansas City was a great serial killer. That was the guy that was killing people in the old meatpacking plant. But anyway, you get Kansas City, you get the serial killer.

And as they're worried about what's happening after a baby girl has told them how bad person it is, all right, after they had their little meeting and they've got to get the wheels up. Then they're on the plane with the worried look on their face. live in the dark long enough and it becomes your light Jeff Fisher You're welcome CBS You're welcome

All right before we go to the break room I want to tell you last week we I think it might have been last week Or maybe the week before We talked about the guy Who killed the mountain lion Oh yeah last week With his with his bare hands right

And we were talking about The first report was just It was like a little baby mountain lion but it looks like the mountain line was about 80 pounds. That's not that big. Well, I mean, when you look at, look, normally the mountain lines that I fought in the past. Wait, wait, what?

Normally, the mountain lines that I fought in the past. If you're out in the wilderness like I am, the kind of wilderness guy that I am. I'm sorry? You're out of the wilderness like I am a lot of times during the course of your life. You run across mountain lines. and other wild animals,

and you have to take care of one on your own. A lot of times you don't talk about it because it's just something that happens when you're on the wild. But most mountain lions, according to the graphs, adult males weigh between 110 and 180 pounds. Females weigh between 80 and 130 pounds. So this, if it was 80 pounds,

was either a little baby male or just a wuss girl. Wow, you sexist, misogynistic punk. So anyway, we ran across the guy. The guy actually did an interview finally. He got beat out. I mean, he got scraped up, man. His face is all scraped up, his arms.

I mean, you're not fighting the mountain lion and walking away clean. What the hell was it? Like a giant fly? No, he fought a mountain lion. That is not an ant. What is that? I'm sorry. No, that's a giant fly.

that is not a mountain line like a horsefly maybe that is not some kind of mountain cat I'm sorry, just not so Travis Kaufman had an interview about what happened when he, how he ran across

this mountain line and what happened during the fight and he told the radio station exactly what happened and they put music underneath their YouTube picture too which I love, I'm glad I love people doing that I ended up hearing some pine needles, Russell like a stick break

and I turned around and just was pretty bummed out to see a mountain lion chasing after me. So he's running in Colorado. I threw my hands up in the air and I started shouting and unfortunately the shouts didn't deter it.

Get away from here! You're a little pretty girl that lion. I went toward my face so I threw up my hands to kind of block my face. Right. So now I went to tax him. It grabbed onto my hand and wrist.

The fly grabbed onto his hand and wrist. Started a claw at my face and neck. Think of this. That's when my fear response turned into more of a fight response because I realized how close I was getting to my eyes. Yeah, no kidding. I got a claw in my lip. I tried to throw it off me at that point.

And then we took a little tumble down the south side of the trail. Think about it. Would you stop playing the fluid fly? a little wrestling match at which point I was able to get on top of it, uh, pin its back legs. Think about it, but it's still holding onto his other arm. Still, that's why they rolled down the hill because it's still on, on his arm,

he won't let go. And, um, at that point, I, I was grabbing around for sticks. Um, he still go up for the sticks. What's this guy with the sticks? My right hand is still locked in his jaws. Yeah, see, his arm's still locked in the mountain is not let go your arm. Stab in the neck to get it to release. Um, that was still locked in the neck to release.

wasn't working, the sticks were breaking. Yeah, you got a... You need a stick called a knife for that to work? I had seen kind of near us. It was pretty heavy and it's kind of hard to wield. And I tried to give it a few bashes in the back of the head. Think about it. I knew with two pretty good blows to the back of the head that it didn't release that...

Dazed of them, though, or her. Dazed a little, wussy little girl. 80-pound little girl. And get a foot on its neck. There you go. Your arm's still in it, though. On its neck with my right foot. He's playing mountain lion twister, man.

He's got one foot in the arm, one foot on the neck. A few minutes. I thought I'd be getting close, and then it'd start thrashing again, and had a few more scratches that resulted from those. But I'm still stepping out of his neck, man. I'm not letting my foot up off that nap down. Another couple minutes later, it finally stopped moving, and then jaws opened, and I was able to kind of scramble back up the hill,

and get the heck out of Dodge. Yeah, no kidding. Big time, get the heck out of Dodge. I mean, that guy, right? I mean, that's tremendous. So we heard the story not long ago last year about the old lady that choked the bobcat. Remember she did?

The old lady choked the bobcat and how to fly. Now, the old lady did the same thing he did, right? They started to come up on him because she didn't want to, she took a picture of it and then her granddaughter was in the house. I'm sorry? She did a what? She took a picture of it. Why?

Why? She wanted to take a picture of the bobcat because she wanted to take a picture. Why can't you take a picture of the bobcat? Then I'm on the bobcat. I'm on the bobcat side. That's why she got bit. Did she ask permission to the bobcat to take a picture of itself? Maybe the bobcat thought he just got beatued.

Thank you. Possible. But so I started to attack on the grandma, grandma grabbed onto it, wrestled around with her a little bit, got bit on her wrist, and then choked it to death. And she wanted to be quiet because she didn't want to wake up the little kid. She wanted to scare the little kid. So she's, and that's what this guy did, right? He's playing Mountain Lion Twister.

Twister, Mountain Lion Twister. Yeah, you had one arm in the foot, one arm in the mouth. We put the right foot on the neck, right leg. I mean, that's a little convoluted way to get on top of that thing. But you do what you got to do, right? Especially when sticks don't work. This is with the sticks. He had a fascination with sticks.

He did. I started looking around. I started jumping up and down the scare. I looked for sticks. I heard sticks rustling. Maybe that's what it was. He heard the sticks rustling and looked around. He was really bummed out.

It was a mountain lion chasing him. I mean, he's running in Colorado, right? Come on. I mean, he's out. You know, before he went for a jog? Trail so much. He's going to go for a little jog. Is that a mountain lion?

Gosh, darn it. I wish I could just fire up another bong hit before I have to attack this mountain lion. But, oh, well, I'll just look for some sticks. So before we get to the break room, and we might as well go over and we can take a little drink, but we can drink on the way to the break room.

So good. So let me tell you to remember to subscribe, rate and review the podcast. Look, I'm not big at begging. I never have been. I don't like to beg, so I'm not going to beg.

But if you're listening, please subscribe. We've read this conversation. That's not begging. No, I know it's not because I'm saying I'm not begging. but I mean I just don't want to beg for him I want you to subscribe though and you subscribe just let you know Mondays Jeffie does a double show

he does walking dead talking walking dead so if you see it you don't like it or you have to do is download it delete and then wait for the 630 Central release time or is it 530 which one is it

I don't know, Chris. I don't know what it is anymore. You tell me. It's five. Because it's just a mandate from on high that we've just decided, oh, you know, we've changed it. It's 5.30 Central, 630. Jeffrey, you're part of the prime time lineup of the Blaze podcast. That's a good little spin.

Is it? Or is it the best spin? Because if you all don't know, you know, Jeffrey gets released at 530 Central, right? And then. Well, you know, you could pull the paper off the wall. Before that is the Blaze Y. So the Blaze Y leads you to Jeffrey. Then Jeffrey gets you all warmed up happy with the news of the day.

And then comes Chad Pratcher or preacher. Right. That one too. And then it comes to MacKibby. Come on. That's a lineup you do not want to miss. No, no. I agree with that.

You know, because the lineup before that had me before the new. is why it matters. Yeah, but it was getting... The lineup that had me before then, why would you want that lineup? But see, that's not a prime time line. I've learned on TV that prime time starts, you know,

around seven, six, you know, five, that's prime time. Really? Yeah, yeah. You've learned that. I've learned that. And you're the 530 slot. I think that's a good slot.

Yeah. 530 Central. Central. 6.30 Eastern. Yeah. You plug that baby up, you're ready to rock and roll. You want people,

I want people, to listen to you and you be the last thing they listen to. Just in case something happens at night, I want them to be like, you know what? I'm content. That's why you put me in between the news and why matters and Chad Braith or Matt Gibby. So that I would be the last one they listen to. You're the last one they listen to. Weird.

So you think like that. Yeah. Weird. Anyway, but wherever it comes out, whenever it comes out, whenever you hear, boop, that, you know, it's there. That's when you need to subscribe. So when you get the alert, No, it's the boop.

Don't we have a boop? A boop? Well, don't you have a game show? Boop. You know there's a game show boop in there somewhere. Now, the game show, boop. When you get the alert, boop. Then that's when you know that two of the fat has arrived

and you're ready to download and listen to the show and share with as many people as you possibly can share with and tell them all to subscribe as well. it's not a phone hang up. And by the way, that's an old phone hang up. You remember when the phone had the receiver and everything? That's the hang up. You used to be able to get away with that.

It sounded great. Now you get nothing on your, just hit the off button. You don't get anything. You have to leave it on. And then if you leave the phone on, let me tell you a little. If you leave the phone on and then somebody's talking to you and you want to hang up on and you leave the phone on, then you, they'll get that. They'll get the slam down. But that's the only way you can hang up, not like the old.

old receiver way. But don't we have a game show, boop? I mean, you're the producer. You're the guy with the, no, that's a little ding, your right bell. That says game show ding.

Yeah, game show ding. And what you want I'm looking for? I'm not asking for a game show ding. Am I? What are you asking for? I'm asking for a game show boop. Boop. No, we don't have boop.

We have game show think music. And game show ding. We don't have a game show. Boop. We don't. perhaps you could find one oh look at the time oh jeff fissure

look at the time don't you have headlines to do you? I do it is congratulations to Barack Obama and I don't like that I don't say this lightly I mean congratulations to Barack Obama he is going to have a hands-on role in the launching of a 12

team basketball league in Africa I know right I know right at some point you've made too much money. And I believe that Barack is pretty close to that now. When you start buying into leagues and owning

leagues of sports franchises around the world, you're making a little bit too much money. He doesn't know what to do with this, hundreds of millions that he's making from Netflix and all the book money. I don't know what to do. Trust me. Michelle knows what to do with it. I guarantee it.

Okay, okay. I think I get it. I think I got it. Is it this one? Oh, that could work. That could work. But that's more. That's like a guitar stringer. whatever. Okay, I'll keep looking. Let me read that again. Yeah, that's like a dulcimer string or something.

Okay, I'll keep looking. Boop. No, that's, no. I mean, possible we might get away with it, but it's not a boop. It's not a game show, boop. I'm trying to think of what game show has the poop. Might be a Wheel of Fortune maybe from time to time has the poop. I can remember though.

Next headline, next headline. Keep going. Chemical and McDonald's fries. could cure baldness. Wait. What? Wait a minute. Japanese scientists have discovered.

No, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, yeah, if we go too deep. We go too deep. It's going to be like the cancer thing. That's a good point. Never mind. Kevin McCle of McDonald's fries could cure baldness. Next headline.

World record. We love world records here on chewing the fat. In fact, someday, someday we will have a world record on chewing the fat. Yeah, the biggest whoopee cushion. and people get to see that one. Even if we don't do that one, I will find a world record that we can hold. This is a chewing the fat mandate.

We must have a Guinness Book of World Records for chewing the fat. But this Hungarian village secured fame. Now, it's unofficial right now. Guinness has not rubber stamped this yet. But it is 2,658. yards of sausage. One sausage. No, I just want to go on record

as saying that's a big ass sausage. It looks like a field of meat. It does not really look that appetizing, but it's there for you. No problem. Those of you that are from the Dallas area, you know, Deep Ellum is, you know, the artsy-fartsy district of Dallas.

And last week they have a dog park there. And, you know, the hoity-toits, all the art people go down there and walk their dogs and talk about how pretty their last painting was. Are you busy? Are you taking pictures of the clouds? Yes, we are. But we're just walking our dog first. And, you know, it's just the downtown Dallas, you know, pinky finger people.

So the guy's at the dog park, and all of a sudden, here comes one guy. with just gold LeMay underwear on to the dog park, and he's covered himself in peanut butter. Nice. The dogs are going crazy, right? Now, first you think, okay, sicko, you know, you just show up with peanut butter on you. Sicko, how dare you?

How dare you call him a sicko? Okay, it's want dogs to lick the peanut butter off of me. Okay, sicko, I got you. How about you buy your own dogs? Use your own dogs. Don't be using mine, okay? I'm at the art park. but apparently he lost a bet

he lost a he lost a bet and that was that was the bet if you win you're good if you lose you cover yourself with peanut butter and go into the dog park

that's a tough bet right there speaking to peanut butter though this we have a new creation that's actually I wish I'd have thought of it now you know how difficult it is to get peanut butter

to the jar sometimes and like I get the bigger jars the Sam's Club tubs of peanut butter It's either when you fit your two hands I love peanut butter I hate peanut butter I love oh man I love creamy peanut butter But

So what I've gone to take it now is you know the When it gets down to about a Quarter left in it It's a you know it's tough to get the knife Down in there without getting peanut butter All of your hands or whatever And get it on the knife and pull it up So

There's a little helpful hand from Jeff Fisher for you All right You could use you know the chocolate shake or hot fudge sunday spoons that are extra long. They have a little small spoon at the bottom, you know, for hot fun Sundays and shakes and stuff. Use that spoon to get the peanut butter out. You're welcome.

But this guy has actually come up with a new creation that's a pump. And you take the original top of the peanut butter jar off and it's just a regular size of peanut butter jar. And it sticks down in there on top of you screw. hits top on and it pumps the peanut butter out. I think that's genius. But what about when you pump everything out and you still have some on the side and under crevices?

So it's pushing the peanut butter down. So there's two mechanisms. Oh my God. Look, why don't you just come up with your own idea? No, I'm not purported. I'm not purported the idea. I just want to know more. And I just want to know more.

Honestly, just want to know. And by the way, I think I found the sound. Is this a sound? out. I'm working really hard here, so let me know that this is are you? Yeah. First of all. That's not it. All right, I keep looking. I'll tweet out the pump. In fact,

I believe my wife already did put it on Facebook. So this is not your story. No. It is my story. That's why I'm telling it to you. What are you talking about? How did you find this story? I found the story on the internet just like everyone else. On your wife's page?

No. No. That's a fact. Act no. Now there's a Kickstarter, a new Kickstarter launch that just happened that I'm kind of thinking, wait, what? So it's called Love Sink. All right, it's a device that lets you with a push of a button, silently and anonymously indicate to your partner that you're in the mood for sex.

Love Sink. Thank you, me too. A fundraising campaign for Love Sink launched Monday. It's already raised more than. half of its $7,500 goal, which means it's only raised like $3,000 bucks. That's not a lot. That's not a lot. I like the wording, though.

I like the spin. I like the spin. It's already raised more than half of its $7,500 goal. You had a goal of $7,500 bucks for the LoveSink app? What? You got to shoot higher, baby. Oh, please. Please shoot, Tyler.

So, uh, uh, uh, cause of Lovesink aims, Elegant Design, an Apple product, or a Ness thermostat, steel housing, a touch sensor, it's a light ring. I mean, I just want to be clear about this. All right. I personally believe that it would just be, oh, I don't know, a text from you to your wife or your wife to you. what do you think instead of pushing the

love sync app button but hey that's just me all right so I won't get into what brought this up off the air but right now I find out that Chris Cruz

no go for it go for it go for it no no no no that's fine we'll get to that story another day okay but you just informed me that you spent, which I did not know, and I thought I had a little hurt, but you spent some loving time at the DMV. I did.

Here in the great state of Texas. I did. Now, I know where you live. Yes. So I have a feeling I know which one you went to. And I could have told you to go to a different one. There's a better one to go to. Okay, good.

It's a little bit of a drive, but it's still in our window. and it works. They're better. They're nicer people. And the news is getting out about this place. The last time I went was a little bit busier than it had been before. And because the news is getting out that this place is the place to go to. Yeah.

Okay. But that's okay. Because if the people, the ladies are really nice to work there, the guys were nice, it was all world class. However, it still isn't a good time. It's just that they make, a little bit easier than the normal DMV experience. So you went to the DMV because you wanted to... I need to get a Texas driver's license.

Okay. And by the way, I had a Florida driver's license in Texas for a long time. The own... And this is, I hope the DMV, I'm sorry, the DPS, because they're not the DMV, they're the DPS. I'm not listen to it. The only reason why I need a Texas driver's license is because I need my veteran tax exemption.

Oh, my God. for my property. I don't know. That we wouldn't have been talking about this. And dead. Because I say keep your Florida license. I hope they never give you a Texas. I hope you have to,

I hope you have to lay in front of the DPS building with your Florida license tattooed to your skull. But go ahead. But go ahead. So I went on Friday. It was a light day here at work. So I asked my boss, I can't issue it.

Yeah. So I left at 11. I'll say no problem. Friday afternoon. Friday afternoon. Even a couple hours, right? Two, three hours. And I got time.

Right. I go in there, I look. I was number L 4,2003. Oh. And I'm like, okay. But you know there's not 4,000. I mean, they're just going into success. Yeah, and then that's the number.

You figure, okay, maybe a couple hundred people, right? Yeah. So I go. And it was L 4,066. And you're at what? 4,200. three. Ooh.

And I'm like... So you're still less of 200. That's fine. I was like, okay, you know, I'll wait. I'll wait. I go in there and then I was like, okay, it's 11 o'clock. Let me go to the car. Go to racetrack.

Get some to drink. Get something to eat. Come back. So got that tag in hand. So got the tag in hand. And I showed the little cop because you can't go in. Oh, yeah. You got...

He said, oh, okay, that's funny. Yeah, I just wanted to get something to eat. Go in there. Jeffie, 11 people that helped in one hour. See, that's pretty good And I'm like, this is not happening Oh, 11 people in an hour, that's good This is horrible

One person helps 11 people, you're good How many people were working there? 3.30 in the afternoon They say, we're about to close the doors If you're inside, we will help you. I'm like, perfect. They want to get home. They want to go home

And you still out number 100, 4,100, I'm 203. Doors are locked, people are scrambling at the door Let me in. Let me in. So I'm like, okay, fine. And then I'm texting. I'm like, okay, it's all, is they, then the lady comes down and she says, all right, we're going to speed this up, numbers.

And she starts, blabry numbers. Everybody's getting excited. We're going to speed this up now. Yes. Now we've decided we're going to speed it up. Because they're close and they don't want to go home. Yeah, they don't want to go home. Now we're going to speed it up.

So the lady's numbers, numbers left and right. And I'm like, I'm still 203. She's calling 150. And I text my wife, I was like, I'm about to cut. So if you don't hear her, from me is because a cop, you know, arrested me. But they never asked to see the ticket. They never asked, yes.

I'm going to stop for you for just a second, all right? I talked about this one other time when I went to, when I went to one of these places like this. And I don't think it was the DMV or the DPS or whatever the hell they're called. But it was someplace where they were, they asked for numbers, right? And I watched it take place and I realized I can do this because I did not want to wait. All right. So here's what happens. They come up and they go and they've got like, let's say three or four different people

working, calling windows, right? And they look up at the little machine. And the machine says, the machine says number two. All right? The machine's blinking two, all right? So that means they push a button and three is next, right? They push a button, three. And they turn to the audience.

And they give it a count of about one, two, three, four. And if nobody answers, four, okay? So the trick is, my friend, and I'm going, I shouldn't even say this on the air, but I have before. So I'm just, I'm helping people out now. The trick is getting it just before they change. All right. So you go. On the count.

And their head. And their head count. Because they, number three, and they look to the audience. If no one gets up to be number three, when they go to push for number four, that's when you go. That's when you say three. Mm-hmm. And you got three. Oh, three.

You said, oh, three. I'm sorry, I was daydreaming, and you throw the thing in the trash can, and you go to the window. No problem, you're in. I'm telling you, because they never look at the tickets, and it's just, you got to, like, if nobody gets up, and they're just getting ready to go to four, oh, three. You said three, I'm sorry, I was just daydreaming here, and you throw the thing away. You watch them, and you let them see it, throw it away. It's funny, you say that, because she's doing by tens, and I'm like, okay, I'm going.

she goes 41, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59 70, 1, 3, 2, 7,000, 75 and I was like, okay, she's 75, nobody's 75, 75, 75, 75, 75, 75, 75, she's like, okay, right in line, and I got in. Nice. An extra 10 minutes.

However, come to find out. Come to find out, I cannot get it. Really didn't matter that you jumped along. No, because, well, I'm actually happy that I jumped the line because I would have gotten out later. and then waited like, oh, you can't do anything. The lady says, I need a birth certificate. I'm like, why do you need a birth certificate?

I have a license. I'm surrendering my license. It's not except for the next six years. Right. It's a valid license. Valid. Valid driver's license from Florida. With a valid insurance.

Yes. I'm insured. Yes. Because that was a big deal in Florida. Yes. Or, I mean, in Texas that you had to, you, like, I could get a driver's, I could get a insurance with. with a Florida ID.

I get automobile insurance with a Florida ID. Yes. And I could get tags. Yes. With a Florida ID. Yes. But I couldn't, there was something I couldn't do

that I had to have a Texas license in. But you had to prove from insurance. I don't remember. I don't think there was anything I could do. And I had everything, Jeffie. I had proof. I could even got a, I was able to vote with a Florida ID.

I even got, like I got my military records, my VA records, my Texas residency proof, which is a big. I have my house paperwork. And I'm like, I'm surrendering my... A valid driver's license.

Good in the United States of America. Like, I don't have to change it. I don't have to change it. I've been here for two years, I've not changed it. I know. Technically, you're supposed to change it. In 90 days. You have a window of 90 days.

That's what... Because I remember at one point, I got pulled over and the cop was like... You told me. Yeah. The cop was like, uh, Florida license. Yeah, I got Florida license. And I just kind of turned away. when you started, you know, how long you've been here?

I've been here a little while. You're starting a ways you're looking for the insurance. Let me get the insurance. I've been here for a little. So she says, no. I can't have a driver's license yet because I need my birth certificate. And I blew it. I would have gone.

And I was like, so you're telling me. And I was like, what, do I look like a Mexican to you? I kind of want, because I was getting aggravated. He pulled the racist card. I did. I did pull the racist card. And then I was like, so what about the illegals? What do they do when they come here?

and they don't have a birth certificate. Do you give them an ID? Oh, that's different because they have to have paperwork. What paperwork do they have? What paperwork do they have? I like to see that paperwork. Oh, it's different. You know, they're here.

I'm like, don't give me that lady. Oh, my gosh. Oh, dude, I was, thank God there was a cop there because I was about to lose it with her because I was like, you make no sense. And then I was like, what about this? What if my wife comes and gives me my birth certificate? She's only 20 minutes away. She's willing to drive to give me the birthday.

She's like, no, we can't do that. Doors close. I'm like, she can just hand it to me through the cracks. She's like, well, if we do that for you, we have to do that for everybody else. Okay, I don't give a crap about everybody else. I don't care about anybody else. I care of you said you could take care of me because I'm in here. Yes.

Oh, it was aggravated. By taking care of me in here, that means I need to get something from those doors in a little bit. And by the way, you're not opening the doors. That paper will slide under the door. but no, I'm still without a driver's license. Had you worked a little bit faster this afternoon, we wouldn't be at this point where those doors were locked. Yep.

Yep. And I wanted to go today, but, oof, precedence day. They're close. Of course. Of course they are. Of course they are. And tomorrow they'll open up late because you can't be expected to be open up earlier. How dare you?

How dare you? That day after a holiday. It's a four-day weekend. That's very frustrating. Very frustrating. There's been several times when those are the places where you want to express your anger. Oh, yes. At quite a volume because you're in this big place and they're on the other side of this window.

And you just want to make your point known. Yes. That what are you talking about? By the way, in order for me to get this driver's license in Florida, I went through the same requirements. So that means that in Florida, they saw my birth certificate and they know I am a resident. You know what? No, I don't want to call myself resident. I'm a freaking citizen in the United States of America. Thank you. I'm no resident. I need to check your residency. Shut up with your green card. Check my register. Yeah. She was like, we need to check your residency.

I'm like, do I look Mexican to you? I might sound like one, but I don't look like one at all. Oh, I went crazy. What? I do. All right, so before we leave today, and I know we've been yapping on and on today. It's Monday. All right. Let me alone as president. It's a holiday. We were celebrating.

Three day weekend, baby. Right. If I hear one more commercial talking about a holiday weekend, too. Like on Friday, I heard this commercial coming out with a holiday weekend. I'm thinking, when? This weekend. Oh, yeah, I forgot. The celebration of President's Day.

So a main man, not my main man, but a man from. The state of Maine. Okay. Who apparently was married to three women. Ooh. A Mormon? New Hampshire, Georgia, and Alabama. And stop with the Mormon.

Stop with the multiple wives. Oh, okay. Sorry. If you'd like to go down the Mormon road, we could talk about how that took place years and years ago. But it took place basically because all the people were killing all the Mormon men. I'm not a Mormon. But I'll tell you the story.

if you'd like. And since there was a shortage of Mormon men because people like you were killing them. I? Puerto Ricans? Exactly like you. Puerto Rican veterans. We're killing Mormon people. Yes. Wow.

Yes. I didn't know that in history. Speaking of veterans. Now, we'll do that tomorrow. Okay. We don't have time. I could yep on for a lot of tours. We don't have time. You know about that thing? The video? Yeah. Yeah, we don't have time. We have time if I say we have time. We don't have time because you've been having me look for sounds.

You still have it, by the way, I don't have my poop. Is this a sound? Does that sound like a boop? It does to me. That's close. Boop. Close. That's almost, that's the boop.

Ooh. That was close to the boop, but not really. You're getting there, though. You're in the Boop neighborhood. Good, good. That's not it, though. Those aren't it. But that's the game show Boop neighborhood.

Okay, good. Boop. No, that's not. it. I heard it through the glass. Boop. It's not that this room is supposed to be soundproof, but really it's only the glass. The walls are not soundproof, just by the way, studios that we're in. The glass is soundproof. But the walls surrounding the glass are not soundproof. So what's the sound that I'm looking for?

Stop it. Boop. Can't be that difficult. So anyway, Michael Middleton rested because he's apparently married to three women in New Hampshire, Georgia, and Alabama. I'd like to say this. So he was arrested. So let's say he's married to one and lives with the two others. Then he doesn't, he's not arrested, right? You know, he's fine.

I mean, he's not getting charged with bigamy, right? Which is what he's getting charged with now because he's married to these women. How does it really happen? You know, could you see yourself be married to multiple women? And I could see how it could happen. Do you? Or is you asking me? Is this a retarded question?

I mean, a rhetorical question? It's a retarded one too. We don't say that word. Why would you say that word? That's a horrible word. How dare you? I hope you edit that out of this podcast because those are words I will not have on this show. Wow.

Wow. No, it's not mentally handicapped question. No. I mean, I don't know why you think that. I mean, it was a rhetorical question, but I mean, you can answer it if you think about it. But I was just talking to the audience a little bit. I mean, I can kind of see how it happens. You know, you're following.

with one woman and you're traveling and you're on the road and you're you fall in love with another woman and you want fall in love so you have a marry him now no I'm just trying to think out loud here because I myself I would not marry another one I could see having the girlfriends trust me I can't see marrying them again right but if you fall in love and you feel like marriage is the way to go and you're in love and she wants to get married all right so you get married and then pretty soon I mean everything's got to be after after you get three and some guys we've heard in the past have had more than three. You start, I mean, how do you, you got to, man, that's some, that's some tough business right there.

A, financially, B, figuratively, just trying to keep everything straight, right? The days you're in town with this wife and the days you're in the other time with that wife. And the days you're in that town with that wife. I mean, you've got to get them mixed up. It's got to be bad. So they found three valid marriage certificates from this guy. And he was just like, you know, it just happened. And I just fell in love.

And one thing led to another. What are you going to do? Now the three women found out about each other. All right. And they filed the report. Now, which one, does the first one stay on and say, why are you, why were you cheating on me? Does the second one stay on? I mean, that's a tough one.

Or you just divorce them all. Plus, then you've got to pay alimony to all three of them. No, you're not divorcing none of them. Right. Not zero. No. Unless they file. And you were like, do you honor, I want to stay married.

They're the one. But the law says I can't, though, because there's the whole polygamy thing, which is foolish, by the way, but that's just another side point. That's a big government right there, baby. That is big government. That is big government. If I want to marry six women, how dare you? If I marry one woman and I live with 10 others, that's okay. Yes.

In the same house, if I'm married to one, but 11 women are living in the house, that's okay. but I can't be married to all of them. Stop it. It was just dumb. And by the way, you want to think about a nightmare tonight as you're getting ready to go to sleep and you're closing your eyes and you're thinking about

sheep jumping over the fence and you're counting the sheep jumping over the fence. One, two, three, four. And you're thinking, you're trying to go to sleep, but you can't. And then one sheep crashes into the fence and you wake up, you know what you're doing.

If you want to think, I wish I could just have a nightmare to think about, think about this. One wife and ten other women living with you under the same roof. What? That does not sound like fun. At all. At all. It would be a nightmare.

Because you know what happens when women live under the same roof with each other? Oh, don't you? You don't ask your mom. Okay, I knew you thought it was over. And I know we did the whole ask your mom thing and you thought the day was over. And I know that we've yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But I didn't mention Jesse Smollett on purpose

because everyone has talked about them today. But we do have some breaking news. That's why I just stick with my own boop. because that's the only breaking news sounder we get is that. By the way, I found it. This is it, right? Are you ready? Are you ready?

Boop. That's it. Okay, so the breaking news on Jesse Smoller, all right? So is it Smollett? Is it Mullet? Is it Smollett? Smollett. Smollett.

So you've been inundated with this guy forever. And I hope he now needs to go to jail. He now needs to go to jail because the whole, freaking thing was a hoax. All right. And it's now we're finding out that he, but prior to the attack, he received a threatening letter.

Yes. And he didn't get the coverage that he thought the threatening letter deserved. Okay, he was concerned about his safety, and he was concerned that nobody really was worried about it. I don't know why, because maybe, you know,

people get threatening letters all the time. Come on, man. Maybe because of people who get those threatening letters, I don't know, pay for security. And that's what I think people at the Empire had security for him. And when he didn't have personal security, he didn't have enough money for personal security. I get it. It's expensive. However.

So then he hired Homeboy and Homeboy to attack him with the, I think he hired like $2,500 and $500 later or something. See, the deal is not supposed to work like that. I don't know if they know that, but the deal is supposed to work a little in the front. big at the end. But whatever. Well, whatever. It's fine. So they did it and they practiced

their little bleached thing. And police, it was looking now that maybe it was set up, the police were ready to let him go. It looks like now, it looks up here's now that it looks like the police were maybe going to let him slide and be done with it.

They came out and said, you know, well, if he's guilty, you know, if he's guilty of this, then he'll have, you know, he'll pay. But they were ready to just let it all go away. But then he did the GMA interview. And he did that. That interview.

Right. He made him all look bad. Yep. So they're like, okay. Here comes the book. Let's go. Let's show you what we had. And they dug.

And they found out. They got Homeboy and Homeboy, his pals. They slipped them in like two hours. Easy. They flipped those guys. So now come to find out that the letter that was supposed to get all this attention that he wanted, this threatening letter, was written by him in the first place. Yep, according to CBS Chicago, it appears now that he also paid the brothers to write the threatening letter he received one week prior to the hoax attack.

Now, since it's a federal offense. It's a federal offense? Yes. Write a letter? No. To write a threatening letter. He sent it through the United States Post office. You don't be messing with the USPS, man.

As the governor of the board of governors, sorry. The board of governors. Yes. You should know more about this. Well, I don't like to talk about it much, but you can't be doing this through the man. We will not put up with that. We will not stand for it, and it's a federal offense.

And good, good! And by the way, Al Sharpton tweeted, on the day that happened, hold on. I want to take you back. On the day that happened, he goes, the reported hate attack on my friend and brother, actor Juicy Smolet. I would love to have Al say that on the air.

I docee, Smolet. Smolet. Umelet. Melet. Melalette is despicable and outrageous. The guilty must face the maximum. Okay. All right.

So that's Al Sharpton. That's exactly. That sounds like Al Sharpton. Yes. No question. So he's still on board, I'm sure. No. As of today, 10 a.m.

Eastern. We must hold Jussie, juicy Smolett accountable if the attack is staged. Wow. You've lost Al Sharpton? Come on, man. You lose Al Sharpton. Juicy Mullet has lost Al Sharpton. Yep. He is done. Goodbye, juicy. There goes the Empire deal. There goes whatever kind of singing deal you've got. All the people on the left that were on your side are going to fry you. And all the people on the right who said, what? That nobody, nobody yells MAGA country at four below zero in the middle of that night. Sorry, it doesn't happen. You've lost those people. I mean, Jesse, dude, good to know you about. But have a nice day.

Seriously, you're a footnote now. These are a footnote. I mean, I don't know if you can spend any time in jail or you talk your way out of it and work your way a deal or whatever. But, I mean, get the help you need because you obviously need some kind of help. And then we'll talk to you later. Okay? Sweet dreams.