Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 314 | Notes From a Thief

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

Shout out to Max Fisher because today is his birthday! Meteor burns through Arizona and this gives Jeffy the chance to talk about him living in the state of Florida. Thief leaves a journal at home he just burglarize and police detective found him due the notes he had written. Dumb criminals segment is back and Baltimore is leading the charge. After yesterday Pope update looks like the Pope got sick after his address about the coronavirus. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. I still didn't say ready. Happy birthday, by the way. If you're listening and watching live on the 27th of February, 2020, my youngest son, who is not so young anymore, 18, oh, 18, today, 18 years on the planet today. Happy birthday, Maximus. I love you. I mean, he's such a, he's almost too good of a kid.

I don't know where he got it from because I've tried to raise him differently, but he's just, he's a good kid and he's turning into a good man. Oh, we get a song to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday. Oh, wait, that's a. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. to you. Maximus. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. I like the double, double. Happy birthday to you.

Maximus. Oh my. Oh, no. That is that it? Oh. Is that it? Oh, that's a cute little birthday song. I'm not sure I like the happy birthday.

The double happy birthday in there. You know what that is? That's so we can air it. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. That's how we can air it. That's all that is. Because if we do the regular birthday song,

eh, eh, somebody owes some money to somebody. Right? That's what's wrong with America. Damn capitalism. We missed the Arizona meteor streaking across the sky yesterday morning, north of Phoenix. It's really cool.

There's footage of it. It looks really cool. cool. I'll tweet it out at Jeffrey JFR. If you ever seen one, a meteor come burning through the sky like that. In Florida, I've seen a couple. I don't know if you know this. I used to live in Florida? I did. Yeah, I did. Don't start. Do I don't.

I didn't know that? No, I did. I lived there for a while. I lived in Tampa Bay. Is that where you saw the meteor? Yes. Yeah. And, uh, I don't even want to get started on that. But yes, I can remember driving to work, obviously early in the morning when it's still dark outside. Were you driving at the bridge? Or you almost got, oh no, would you actually you get into a car accident and report it yourself? Yes, I did. Yes, I did.

Yeah, that's where I hydroplained and thought I'm good. I'm going to get back under control. Oh, no. And for the bus that do not know what hydroplaining is, what is that? When you're driving a vehicle. It was kind of, kind of. There's extra water on the road, and it means your wheels are now spinning in water and not on concrete.

So you do not have control of your vehicle. And you're hoping that the tires find. finally reach through that water and grab onto the concrete. Now, that did happen for me after I hit the guardrails. Yeah, it was not fun. It was not fun at all. You know, come to think of it. I'm really, I guess I'm kind of lucky because I could have gone into the drink.

And if I'd gone into the drink, but for those of you who don't understand what going into the drink is, be falling off the bridge, I'm done. I'm done. because my seat broke I told you that as soon was that because of the cracks you know because you were sitting on it

no it's because of the hit when I hit the concrete the seat I was in an extended cab pickup truck and when I hit the concrete the seat breaks I'm laying flat I'm now laying flat in the truck yeah only I mean it's broken it's not like I used

the little lever and went flat it's all the way back and I'm laying back and the truck is spinning. If it goes in the drink, I'm done. I'm just like, oh, I'm in the water. Tampa Bay. Just get out the window, like.

Yeah. Open the door. I'm grabbing my phone, maybe. Hello? Boop, boop. It's not funny. Not funny. Anyway, I have seen...

Send the rescue. We're looking for a pickup. truck. It looks, is that the tail end? It looks like that's the tail end going down on there. We'll send a diver down. Hopefully, though. Ooh, and it's sinking fast.

Unless there been some weight in that thing. We'll try to send a... It looks like, you know what? Until daylight. You're fine. My life's giant. I'm out. That could have happened.

That could have. 100% could have happened. Thankfully it didn't. Cancel on the search. Thankfully it didn't. And it all worked out fine. So. Look at you now.

I know. Successful white male. Actually, successful white cis male. Like, great. Right. Right. Successful in small case letters, though. I'll give you that.

There's no, it's not successful. It's like, successful. Oh. I get to the story, sorry. So seeing one a meteor come through the sky is really cool. This is scary? Well, your first thought is, what the heck is that?

And then it just continues out and burns out. You can go out beyond that. It just whosh and then it burns out. Because if it doesn't burn out, right? I mean, you're doomed. Right. And it'll be too late because it might have burned. It might have burned the horn out.

You might be pushing the button and there might be nothing. There's dusting that thing. You got to crank it. You got to crank it. And so you're done. It's just really cool. And it's kind of, it is kind of scary a little.

You know, that first thought. So make you think that's that small that could like keep banished by this rock? I just want to be clear. I don't believe I've ever thought in my life. I'm that small. If you're a thief and you're, robbing places. That's what you do.

You go in the neighborhoods. You rob people's homes, and that's what you do. You take a few things out of people's homes, and you take their stuff. And it doesn't matter whether they have Simply safe or any other kind of security device. It doesn't matter.

You're breaking in. And you say you break into a house and you steal a TV and a gun, and you leave. You're just in and out. And you do that a couple houses a day. You make a living. What are you doing okay?

You're doing all right with your life. If you're a thief that, say, has a little OCD issues and you take notes in a notebook and you write down the houses that you break into, and you also jump ahead and you write down, ooh, that's a nice house. I'm going to have to check that one out. Right. And so you keep track of, you keep track of what houses. A journal. A thief journal.

Yes. A thief journal. Well, yes, but it's your life journal. So there may be. Oh, so a life journal. There may be notes in there, say, from your daughter. and her new address and a phone number. There may be notes in there.

You know, maybe what to get at Sam's. What to get at Sam's come the next day. Notes from a thief. Yes. Okay. The fact, that could be our new book. That is her new book. Notes from a thief.

That's traditional title. One of the things that you don't want to do is drop the notebook at one of the homes that you robbed. Oh, that is not, I don't suggest that. No. I don't suggest you bringing that book. Maybe you keep it in the car? Yeah, it stays in the car, bicycle, whatever means of transportation.

I don't know, maybe you keep it back in your thief cave. Possibly. When you go back to your thief cave, then you write down. Right. It's like waking up from a dream, you wake up, you write down. Yeah, dream journal, yes. So your thief journal should be like your dream journal. Absolutely.

Set it next to your night. Set it on your nightstand. It goes Bible, stolen pistol, stolen TV, thief's journal. If you have a thief journal. I'm guessing the Bible isn't going to be the first one on this nightstand. But I was just, you know, who knows? Who are you? Who are you?

I'm not judging. I'm not judging. I feel like you were, though. However, the trick is don't drop it at one of your homes. Yeah, if you decide to bring it because you can't remember, like you, you try to do it last time. I left it at the house. Oh, man, I did not know.

I forgot. I forgot I took that bracelet. Yes. And I forgot that address for the. And you a house that I wanted to rob next. So you know what? This time I'm about to go in. I'll just bring it with me.

And I told my daughter, you know, I'll be by first thing of the morning. So you wanted the right address to go to. Hey, why? You moved in, right? So can I get the address? Oh, okay, yeah. Right. Right.

Smith Avenue. Okay. Thank you. Right. So what happens is when you drop it at your house that you just stole, that you just stole stuff from. Without knowing. the detectives find it is that a bad thing that detective found it

it could be someone from the house it is because then it could be but you know the house was saying no that's why are you sure ask susy go upstairs and see if sus is this your journal is this your dream journal yeah it's not oh no yeah it's not so it must be the guy that's go let's go over and see this address here that's very

private says dot i know but it's okay because, you know, it's okay. It's part of the... Investigation? Yeah. Oh, okay. I feel like you don't read journals like that. Like, really?

It's very private. It is private. You're not supposed to read anybody's journal. No, you're not. That's between you and your book. I know. Yeah. So I feel like the cops already are pissing me off by opening this journal.

But they went to the daughter's house. That's fine. And they figured out who her dad was. Oh, no, Billy Bob. And then the next day... Oh, don't tell me that he had the address of the next house. who was going to think so the cops were waiting there. There was a video.

Somebody had a SimpliSafe up. Oh, he showed him kicking in the door. Oh, he's aggressive. No one would be dropped a book. That address was in his book. Oh, no. So the police were like a, you know, day behind. Yeah.

Not after that, though. He's supposed to read ahead. Boop, whoop. Yeah, and he's going to jail. Oh, so did they go to the next address and they were there waiting? That's awesome. That's some pretty good police work. Even though it was given them to in a journal platter,

but that's some pretty good police work. Well, they found it. Well, they did. It wasn't like they walked in and went, you know, you lost a gun on a TV. What a shame. They at least did a little. There's a notebook at the bottom.

That's not Susie's? Susie's, that you know book? No, it doesn't belong to me. Uh-huh. Okay. Go ahead and read it, I guess. You know, we don't like to read other people's journals, do we? I want a statement from the police department about this.

I feel like they violated his rights by reading his journal. Well, it helped catch a thief. That's a pretty cool story. It helped catch a cool story. It's a pretty cool story. It's just a dumb. It's a very dumb criminal. The dumbing down of criminals is what it is.

But, hey, he's organized. Because all they have to do now is see what he stole, then return it to all those people that he stole. Thank you. Which of course will happen. Oh, yeah. Just go to the local pawn shop. just scoogle the nearest pawn shop to all those addresses. That's the stuff is there.

Oh, yeah, stuff is there. Nice. I like that. Yeah. Speaking of dumb criminals, I have had this story of dumb criminals in the fat pile for a week. I didn't get to it last week. I've been trying, it's been in the fat pile every day. I got to get to the story.

I love the story. And, you know, I try to stay away from politics on chewing the fat just because, you know, everybody's doing that. You get it from everyone, and it's just, I got it, I know. And when you do that, something happens. Like, just say something political. Well, what I'd like to do is talk to you about, you know, Bernie Sanders and... Political violation.

Political violation. And that means I can't talk about it. That cuts me off. Except if I really want to talk about something, I'm going to talk about it, whether you have a political violation music or not. But... Keith.com. Are you tired of losing it?

your hair? If you ever hear keeps.com, you know that what I said prior to that. It was cut out from the podcast. It was cut out from the podcast. Yes. So I could be talking like this telling you about, now I want to tell you about keeps.com. If you hear that on the podcast, you know, the whole thing just got cut out.

He did say something that he super violated. This is not going to violate the political thing. It's about politicians. But not political. But well, let me get to the story. because I was headed into it with stupid criminals. Over half of the great city of Baltimore, Baltimore, Maryland coined a Democratic hellhole from Pat Gray unleashed.

Over half of the candidates running for mayor have criminal charges on their records. Do you have this list? I do. I do. Are you going to go down the list? name of a few things that you're looking at. Felony theft. Who hasn't done that?

Carjacking. False imprisonment. Okay. Embezzlement. Okay. Breaking and entering. Okay. Passing bad checks.

I got one of those. You for sure have to have one of those on your record. You come from a generation of checks that will allow to give anywhere. You know, I don't like the way you say that. Okay. I like the way you say that. But I have. Anyway, the, uh, so don't forget that the former mayor.

Okay. Catherine Pugh, she's just getting... Just started? She's already going to jail. She's all warmed up. She's all warmed up. She's already pled guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud tax evasion. Who hasn't done that?

Jeffie. Tax evasion. Nope. Keeps.com. Are you tired of losing your hair? So WBFF TV. I love WBFF TV. You can't.

That's like in the top 10 market, right? Thank you. Is Baltimore top 10? I don't think so. I don't think Baltimore is top 10 because you got well you got New York L.A.

Chicago Miami, Dallas is top five right Baltimore in the top ten no way Baltimore's got to be like 26 yes oh yeah thank you

yeah all right good job thank you yeah no problem because Tampa Bay is like 16th or 17th TV market wise not radio but TV market wise yeah this is

TV market. I know. That's what I'm saying. What did you say? Tampa is? So, Tampa Bay is I think 16. Yeah, 11. 11.

Oh, they're up to 11? Yes. That's fantastic. Good job. Good job. They need to redo the radio of that of Tampa Bay. They need to rethink that. You know what?

Call me. Call me. So can you go down the top five again? The top five you got what? New York. New York? Uh-huh. L.A., Chicago.

Miami, Dallas. Philadelphia and Dallas. Yes. Miami and Dallas. No, no, like I say. Miami is, what, six or seventh now? 16. Good job, Fisher.

What? You are like hitting this off 16. Seriously? Absolutely. Yeah. They are moving out of that town, man. Miami is sucking wind. You're so good at this.

Thank you. Oh, you're so good. I know. I'd nail them. The long time I looked at those lists, man. This is all the top of my head, the four of the five. Shut up. Absolutely.

No, you got them all correct. Like, I gave you the credit for. both of them. So they decided WBFF TV, top 30 market, did a little digging and they learned about the criminal records of the mayoral candidates. Former mayor, Sheila Dixon, a Democrat, indicted 12 counts of theft, fraud, misconduct.

Oh, Ricky Vaugh business owner, Democrat, has been charged with felony theft, carjacking, and harassment.

Well, according to WBFF, though, he was up front about his past. Then what's wrong with that? You got to be, right? Yeah, so, you know, yes, I stole the car.

He said, what else did he do? Yes, oh, no, that's not him. That's Sheila. Who's this? This was, what's his face? Ricky Vaughn.

Sure, I stole some stuff that was felony, the felony weight. I stole a car. I harassed some people, but so what? That's my past. I'm good. I'm fine now. David Anthony Wiggins, a Republican. Uh-oh.

And self-described business owner and clergy member. What does that mean? A self-described business owner. Is that a drug dealer? Yeah, he put it on his business card, but it's not official. Right. He was charged with false imprisonment. Is that when you hold someone like hostage?

Yes. Okay. Against their will. Okay. So I kidnap it. Yes. Okay. Harassment.

Failure to comply with a peace order. And filing a false application to purchase a firearm. Who among us? No among us hasn't done that. William George Hurd, a Republican, charged with malicious destruction of property. I do that every day when I go to the bathroom. Breaking and entering.

Oh, I haven't done that. Passing bad checks. Again, Fisher, you come from the checks generation. And that's very easy. You give a check to Win Dixie and it bounces. Done. You're done. You get added on that list and they take your picture.

I mean, they call it. passing bad checks even if you floated it a little bit. It's called floating. It's called floating. If you write a check and you know the money is not in the account, but it will be in the account by the time the check gets through. Three days. But see, in today's world... Not anymore.

It's automatic. It's literally like you're swapping a car. That's not fair, by the way. If I buy something at Walgreens, don't tell me to wrap up. If I buy something at Walgreens and It slides through. The bank tags it. Takes the money out of my account.

Whatever it is, $10. $10. It's worth of cash. And the bank says, okay, $11 and $2. Perfect. I buy something to Walgreens. $11 and $2. The bank says, $11 at $2.

We're holding it out of your account. It sits there. It's still technically in my account because Walgreens hasn't asked for the money. Yeah, but you already used it. I might want to use it again before Walgreens asked for it. You can double use the money you already spent. I might want to use it again. But you see, but you can't doesn't, your account doesn't have.

Are you working for big bank now? I'm not working for big banks, but I'm telling you, if you're spent $11.2 and $2, you can't respend them somewhere else because you only had one $11. I might know that there's going to be another $11 and $2 coming into my account in the next couple of days. So I'm using that $11.2. Again, until that other $11 and $2. It gets in there.

It used to be three days. It used to be more than that. And if you had the weekend, you had the whole week. That's correct. And plus, if you put it in, if you write the check in the afternoon, after they picked up the bank. Yep. The bank, well, the bank, they use the security use it comes through about 322.

And, you know, sometimes in the afternoon. You don't know exactly when, you know, sometime. Sometimes. 3.30-ish. Okay. And once that's gone, then you're waiting until the next morning. 9 o'clock. Or the next, and sometimes they might only pick it up once a day.

Depends with that bodega that you use. So you write the check for cash. Oh, well, yeah. So now you're good for that day. Tomorrow. And then they have to send it to the bank, right? That's day two. The next day has to process it.

Day three. Goes to the other bank. Day four. If that doesn't get processed immediately, you're looking at maybe even five days. Yeah. Man, you don't get those days back. Other candidates in Baltimore were convicted of less serious offenses. Like.

Like, what is, failure to return a rented car. Does that mean he just left it parked on the side of the road? He just forgot to return the cars to Hertz. Failure to return a rented car. I'm not quite sure with that. So he just never turned it in. No, I. I didn't know that was a charge.

One person, this person cannot be mayor of Baltimore. One person was charged with fishing without a license. Oh, no. You do not. Right. That's a criminal. You know, all those charges you talked about, that's the worst one. I know.

I know. How can I trust the environment without a license? How can I trust them with an entire city when they cannot get a license to go fishing? Thank you. Baltimore good luck I didn't say that though why you keep saying

we'll be right back we'll be right back all right let's go to the break room and get a quick drink of Coca-Cola zero sugar for as long as we can

as long as we can as long as we're in the break room let's do it we have to do a COVID-19 up The coronavirus update here on chewing the fat. And you do not want to sound like that. I'll tell you that.

Can I quote you on that? Yeah. You do not want to sound like that. That's not a smoker either. That's not someone that's been smoking for a while and got, you know, black lung. This is corona. We actually got this from China. And this is audio from people coughing up when they have the...

Coronavirus. This is a man on the street report. This is man on the street report. So if you hear just like that, you run away. That's COVID-19. That's COVID-19. Too late because you heard it.

So you have it. Now, remember that the CDC warns of disruption to everyday life. I'm seriously. Are you worried? Concerned. Oh, okay. Where's concerned?

So how many ticks to worry? I don't know. So if we do a level one through five. I don't know. One through five, where are you at? One through five. One is... Nothing.

Five is, we're going to die tomorrow. Oh, not even close to that. Okay, so you have three. Not even close. Three or two? Yeah, two and a half. Okay, I'll take that. Two, two and a half.

I'll set that answer. That's a weak answer, but I'll set that answer. You're not willing to commit to two and you're definitely not going to commit to three. No way. No way. You have a five? Yeah, out of a five. Out of a five, no way.

I mean, I might even be at a one. and a half to two. Definitely not that one. You're not at one and a half. After our conversation this morning, you're at, I said, 2.5, I'll take it. I am concerned.

I am starting to be concerned. See, this is how I know that you're not at 1.5 because you already checked you might pay your supply. I did check to see how much we got, where do we have, how much we have, yeah. That takes you automatically too.

Because you were, you're not worried, but you're concerned of your supplies of where you are. Now, if you go out there, start getting gasoline tanks and water pills, that's a three. What if I bought extra water and extra sodas? That takes you to 2.5. So two gets you to checking your supplies.

Extra toilet paper. Okay, that's the supplies. And then the 0.5 gets you that because you got water bottles and zero. Three is where you're starting to stack up. That's what I'm saying. You're buying gasoline tanks. You're buying, you know, wood. You're buying ammunition.

you're buying, you know, something to think about, buckets. That you buy buckets. Yeah. It is. See, I'm concerned. Yeah.

Two and a half. Two and a half. I'll take it. Yeah. So, I mean, there's. No,

four is you calling me because you're calling to get inside my, my ranch. At four, you're calling me. Either you or Glenn, somebody's let my ass in.

And I know, funny how it's become your ranch all of a sudden. Oh, it's my ranch. That's my ranch. That's my ranch. Because I want to go on record to say, I know whose ranch it is. Mine.

I use that ranch. I know who to ask to let me in that gate. I'll tell you that. I use that ranch more than anybody on that side of the family. I even got internet installed on that ranch. So that makes me supreme ruler of the ranch. It does? Absolutely.

Then you're letting my ass in. I'll tell you that. You got the trailer. I don't care. I know. You got the trailer. My wife loves camping. No, she got outside.

No, she has outside. You are the trailer. You're damn right. So, I mean, this is why we're concerned, right? I mean, we have Italy. There's other countries, Italy, Iran. It's not just China now. Not anymore.

South Korea is almost dead. They're about ready to shut it down. Japan shut down all schools. Italy is almost on fire. And China, Chinese kids have not been school since this whole thing starts. So my wife teaches English to Chinese kids. They got a note last week that since schools are no longer open, they're using these online teachers as real teachers. So the entire curriculum.

I hope the payroll did go up. Good. Because they're loading up classes because this kids have not been taught in like two months. So now they're using all these online teachers. America good. Absolutely. Absolutely. Capitalism, good.

Your country sucks. Repeat after me. Say it in English. So they're using those teachers now to start teaching kids. I mean, you have to, right? More than just what they were learning before. Right. So they're actually getting...

They upgraded the curriculum for those teachers. To match this because according to the two companies that are Chinese companies, schools are not open up anytime soon. Ooh. But they don't know. I mean, Chi-Pao Chi, come down tomorrow and say, open them up, send the kids back, and they're marching them up.

They're head of China, Chi Pauci, whatever his name is. President Xi? Yeah, you know, X, X, X, XI guy. Whoa, he's into porn? All by himself. He's into porn? Yes, he is. I mean, you know what I'm talking about.

If he decides tomorrow, open them up. They're open. Yeah, but who's going to go? The trees are empty. That's what I mean. If he decides, you're out on the streets, bro. Yeah. Or that.

Go to school. No. Are you going to go to school today? Yeah. You know what? I need to go. I need my education. You're right.

Even though I graduated 30 years ago, but I'm going to go to school. We're all going to school today. What grade are we repeating? 10th grade? Okay, you got it. All going to school today. So we also have, I mean, some of the countries like are saying if you're coming from Italy, China.

No thanks. No, I want it. Hello? No, not today. No, no one home. We're closed. Look at the time. Turn around.

I don't blame them. I don't either. I don't blame them. And I just want to say that Donald Trump, this is a really good plan for the immigration plan is just to shut everything down for the COVID-19, okay? Just do that now and it'll be okay because it's for our safety. But he's no longer in charge. He put vice president Pence in charge. He did say in his little get together that.

He did say that I'm no longer, you know. No, but Pence reports to him. Yeah, we pay him. So any question about coronavirus? So COVID-19 goes to the guy with white hair. I just want to be here. That's just done saying if something screws up, it's on you, bro. It's on you.

Pence, when was the last time you were in the press room? Oh, come on. Let's go. I haven't been in the press room. means ever. I never made an announcement. I need to make an announcement. You see this guy here? Guy with the white hair short from Indiana. Yeah, he's a one in charge. You got any problems? Just go with him. You got it, Pence? All right. See you later, buddy. Fuck to you later. Thank you. So we have, we've got Amazon reporting that people are already

starting to try to price gouge. I love America. And now the Amazon doesn't. What the hell, Jeff Bays? I know. You on American. I know. That's what happens. When crisis happened, prices go up and you can. capitalize on the moment. Huh. Not in America anymore. That's called price gouging. No wonder he lost a contract with the government.

It's called price gouging and we haven't forbid we can't have price gouging. Hey, if I have 10 cases of water which I do and Walmart runs out, I'll give you my address is 20 bucks a pop. Yeah, that's price gouging. Now I would call it, I would not, I would say that that's event pricing.

Yeah. Supply demand. Isn't that supply and demand? Isn't that basic? I pay price gouging prices when I go to events. What happens when the hurricane comes? What happens to gas prices? No, they stay the you can't, you can't charge more.

That's price gouging. I mean, they bust people all the time. I see it. You know, it goes from $1.98 to $2.98. That's because that's okay. Oh, that's okay? Because that's shipping. That doesn't have anything to do with them trying.

That doesn't have anything to do with them trying to make more money, silly. Don't bark me down with facts. I'm sorry. It's insane to me. That's dumb. I know. That is dumb. And you know who tried to do an episode about that?

9-1-1 in the first season. Of course they did. Yes. Yes. The first season. When black girl, the black police officer. Yes. No.

You pay what you. I know. What do you mean? No. No. That's when you smack him on the nose like a dog and go, no. Wow. Wow.

No. I'm not smacking anything or anyone on the nose, man. How dare you hit dogs like that? It's embarrassing, I know. So yesterday we told you about Pope Francis, and it was Ash Wednesday, and he did his pope and stuff that you do on Ash Wednesday. And he went out into the crowd in the Pope Mobile. He didn't get out and give everybody special Ash Wednesday go with God.

Bless you, my son. It was just, I'm going to drive around. here and they said yesterday that it was because precautions precautions. We don't want to get the Pope's for the coronavirus. Okay, I got it. I got it. It makes sense. A highly figure person doesn't want to get a coronavirus. Okay, that's fine.

I got it. No problem. Except today we find out that it really was wait. Today we find out it wasn't more protecting him from the people. So we're protecting the population from the Pope. Protecting the population from the Now, it has not been confirmed. Oh, that's confirmed.

That he has. You heard it here. It has not been confirmed. We go to our man on the street, though, and he can confirm it. I'll tell you that. Reporting live from Rome. The Pope does have coronavirus. No, that has not been confirmed.

Oh, sorry. That has not been confirmed. However, they say he's, come down with a little slight indist position. I mean, sure we're canceling, sure we're canceling the... Wait, we're canceling stuff? Yeah, we canceled a plant mass in Rome.

And he expressed his solidarity with the coronavirus suffers around the world. Like this? I don't know that he did. I don't know how he expressed it, but, you know, could be as possible. That's an expression. But he's 82 now. That's the peak. age that is killing these people.

I mean that is killing people. Not these people, sorry. Sorry, your holiness. So what you call him? Holiness? Don't call him these people. I'll tell you that. That's what I'm saying.

The Vatican has not specified the nature of his. But they can't. Imagine. The Pope has... But there's a picture of him with the... Flathamus is time. But if this... Right.

If Pope Francis... goes down, I got to run again. I've got to get my campaign back up and running. I think it's time. Fathamus Obesius I first is back in the running. Nice. Got to have a guy who got that campaign up and running. And we also know that we also found out today

that even if you have coronavirus, if you've come down with coronavirus and you're cured. You don't get it again. You feel better. You're done. And you're like, oh, thank you. Yes, I survived. I don't have to call.

I don't have to hack my lung. up anymore. I'm so sick. My ribs hurt. My stomach hurt so much from hacking up my lungs with this coronavirus. I'm sweating. Not anymore, though.

It's good. You know, you can get it again. Wait. Yeah, you can get it again. It's like the bad STD. Can't get rid of? It's just like that.

You can rub cream on it ever so often and it goes away and you're like, oh, good, man. Because, you know, what happens in Vietnam doesn't stay in Vietnam. I'm just telling you, those are the words we all know that.

Can I quote you on? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. So if you, yes, the coronavirus, COVID-19 is just like, say, STDs. That's what it is. Can we call the CDC on this?

I think we should. I think we should. Also, but the worst news. And if you think that's bad, please. We're talking about COVID-19 here. coronavirus. This headline came out yesterday afternoon.

And you were upset. You yelled. I thought a family member died because that's what happens in the Jeffie household. It's like just bad news on top of bad news, on top of bad news. So when he started screaming in the control room, I was like, oh, crap, here we go. He's dead. Oh, no one died. Let me read you the headline.

Okay. No one has died yet from this, but it's possible. Tell you that. It's possible. This is the headline from yesterday afternoon. And I want you to sit down. If you're driving, you might want to pull over. Yes, pull over to the shoulder.

We'll wait. Put your emergency blinkers on. I'm not waiting much longer than this. But if you're listening live, do it now. Okay, I think they're good. They're good. They pulled over. Coronavirus, likely to cause Diet Coke, Coke Zero shortage.

This will not stand. Get Gigi XXXXXI on the phone. I want those kids back in school. I want those machines turn back on. Chinese artificial sweeteners has been delayed. Holy cow. No, this will not stand. That's the end.

This cannot be. Now, if we have to have a choice between Diet Coke and Coke zero, we blow off Diet Coke. Oh, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. That gives you cancer. Yeah. We have to decide if we're going to ship, we're going to make it, we're going to die of Coke Zero. Coke Zero. I agree.

And I don't drink Coke Zero. Cook Zero wins that fight. But, oh man, this cannot, this COVID-19 stuff has got to come to an end soon. Soon because that, right there, that cannot stand. Now, I will say that remember what I told you, and this is what I believe was the first show. I agree. The first show in the world telling you this. Yes.

Others have come on board now, but it's because of this show. Like the representative for who? Thank you. Thank you. Came on board weeks after this program. Yes. Just know. You know, it's good to be prepared.

Always be prepared. It will get worse before it gets better. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast, this show, Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher. Subscribe on a platform that just warms the cockles of your heart. If you go to the blaze.com slash podcasts, scroll to chewing the fat. Click on chewing the fat. It will bring up a plethora of platforms to choose from. Click on one, subscribe.

So that when the podcast downloads every day, you'll get a lot. an alert. Some of you will hear this. If you're not hearing that, you've picked the wrong. You may have picked the wrong platform. That's not really. You may have flick SoundCloud. Do not. Hashtag not SoundCloud. So subscribe to this podcast, please. Chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. And then, you know, when you're done with that, you can subscribe to the YouTube channel too. Yes, that's right. More content that I give. at theblease.com slash podcasts. Did you see where they found ancient armadillos, the size of cars?

Incredible. Like the mammoth? Incredible. That's pretty cool. In a dried up riverbed. So, and they're like 20,000-year-old remains. There are these giant car-sized armadillos. So a farmer is just walking along, doing nothing.

Looking for things to shoot, right? There's a whole dried up, dried up riverbed. Ooh, is that a dog? I'm hungry. Oh, man, what the heck did I just shoot? Those are, those are, those look like a couple giant rock or something. What the heck is that? Let me go over there and take a look at that.

Uh, they're giant glyptodonts. All right, I want to know how to pronounce this word. G-L-Y. Who put your head on your forehead? G-L-Y. I'm sorry? Don't put your head on your forehead? G-L-Y-P-T-O-D-O-N-T-S.

Don't. Glyptodonts. Glyptodonts. Glyptodonts. Glyptodonts. Turn it up, please. I'd like to hear it. Just push play.

Glyptodonts. Glyptodonts. And no, I can't just hit play. I have to type it out, highlight it, right click. I don't care how you have to do your job. Just do it. Click on speech. Click on start speaking. Glip to dance.

Move the mic closer to my computer and get it. So no. You see why I get upset? You know what? I appreciate you doing your job. Thank you. Appreciate it. And now for that, type in P-L-E.

I S T-O C-E Pleistocene They're armored mammals that lived during the Pleistocene

Epoch and the relatives of the present day Armadillos There's incredible There's like four of them It looks like they were a family Trying to get away It looks like they're like a 20 million year old

farmer was after him. Could not be the meteorites? No. The meteors? No. Right. I mean, they looked like they're together. Right.

Yeah. Are they by the volcano that kill Pompey? Pompeii? Are they near there? Oh, is this before Pompey? All I know is that the dried riverbed that they were found in. All right. Did not appear to have the remains of any horses or cows.

in it or anything else. It was just these four. Now, is it possible that over the years we've just kicked them over and the farmers just kicked them over, shooting them, tearing them apart, not realizing what was going on? Sure. Absolutely. No problem.

But for right now, the four glyptodons, I want to make you find it so bad right now. The four gliptodons lived about 20,000 years ago and they were heavily armored mammals squatted limbs. I mean, they look like a turtle,

you know, a giant turtle. Incredible. Could it be a turtle? The size of a Volkswagen beetle or bigger. Dude, that's awesome. Right? That's pretty cool. In all seriousness,

they were apparently developed in South America about 20 million years ago, and then they spread to the southern regions of North America. I guess we know they existed. But these fossils were discovered in, the Argentine capital of

Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires. That's what I said, Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires. That's what I said, Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires.

And the experts from the Institute of Archaeological and Paleontogical investigations at the Pampi Quadinari in Cuba Casit. We'll spend the next week

extracting the remains. Archaeologist Pablo Massano told reporters that a man named Jewan de Diasota Juan Diasoto was taking his cows to grace

and said hey no poop on those the hell out of here those are Juan sat there a guy up what the past you ombrey sat there's so much stuff to get to there's never enough time they get to it there's never enough time

so you're done look at the time You know, I'm sorry. I'm