Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 325 | Fat Pile Friday - Church Kills Birds EDITION

Episode Date: March 13, 2020

More Coronavirus updates and little league incident that puts Jeffy and Kris Cruz into a interesting conversation. Pornhub is about to release a non-porn film on their website as they try to capitalize on streaming services. Jeffy has a theory about a church releasing balloons in California and dead birds in Missouri. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Hello. Welcome to Chewing the Fat. It's a podcast with myself Jeff Fisher, executive producer Chris Cruz. It's a beautiful day. Thank you for joining us. I hope that you're a subscriber to Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher.

If you're not, go to the blaze.com slash podcast. Click on Chewing the fat and Choose a platform that you're comfortable with to subscribe. Now, if you click on chewing the fat and you'll see the platforms come up along the top and one of those platforms says SoundCloud, even if you feel that you're going to be comfortable with that choice, don't be. Hashtag not SoundCloud.

Choose another platform and then subscribe. And then think to yourself, my gosh, I'm in a subscribing mood. What should I subscribe to? Subscribe to my YouTube channel. chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher It's very simple Go to YouTube Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher

and subscribe and then you'll be alerted I have a new video premiering tonight Friday night Friday the 13th at 6 p.m. That you can enjoy

okay As you know yesterday I interviewed a man telling us about how he prepares people to get ready to go to prison and what happens after there in prison.

You know something? Don't bog me down with facts. Don't bog me down with... I'm in the middle of telling people hello. And you're already bogging me down with facts. In my ear, I hear... Well, I think yesterday it was the day before. Okay.

Okay. All right, it was the day before. But the video itself is premiering tonight at 6 p.m. Central. Goodness gracious. They know it... Let's go to YouTube channel and subscribe to chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. And click on the bat.

I swear it. Not going to be a good day. I'm going to feel it already. So I was just, you know, I was remembering that just trying to walk down memory lane a little bit. Oh, no. No, well, I was going to talk. Do you remember back in time? 2009 and I mean, I mean, I seriously, I've been trying to remember the H1N1 influenza scare.

I don't remember that. I just don't. I was on the radio still we had to have been talking about it. I had to have been 2009, that was morning show for me in Tampa Bay. I had to have been doing interviews with people about it. I just, I don't remember it. Could it be because of social media? Maybe.

Because yesterday, all those, um, Was it yesterday the day before? All those oh noes from yesterday, they were from social media. They were just coming in like do-d-d-d-do-do-do-do-d-d-do-do-d-do. Right. And so 10 years from now, I'll remember that. You know, I'll remember, well, I remember going through what all was being closed, you know, and the joke of I'll remember Tom Hanks or Ella, you know, some stupid thing that you'd remember

that would bring everything else back, right? You might be right. I think it's social media making it a, I don't want to say a bigger deal than it is because it's a big deal. Yeah. It's a serious thing. But if we didn't have your iPad, my iPhone, do we really? Okay, well, first of all, this is not an iPad.

Yeah, like I said, like your iPad of my iPhone. Don't try to drag me into your iPhone world. It's better here. Just to let you know. Drag me into the Apple world. It's better over here. Is it? Absolutely.

Is it? Is it? Is it? Because the grass always looks greener on the other side. How many issues do you have? And whenever I get over to the other side, it never is greener. How many issues do you have with that computer daily? Zero.

Oh, you are a fat liar. I don't know what you're talking about. He's such a liar. You bitch about that computer. Oh, I don't open. Oh, the, the, they're not open. Oh, it's so slow. Oh, look at that.

I just turned it off because I rest my hand up here. If I had an iPad. I would never be an issue. Certainly, I don't know who you're thinking about. The only other person that I work with. I don't know. It has an iPad that is not an iPad. It's a Windows iPad.

I like this. What do they call it? Notebook. Yeah. No book. And I like it. No. It looks awesome.

I love being one of my favorite thing. And I catch myself doing it too. other computers all the time and it just, you know, it doesn't happen is you can go from keyboard to screen and scroll with your finger. You know, it's, and so I'm sitting in front, even my desktop, uh, in my closet, you know, where I have, you know, an actual desktop computer and I put my hand finger up to start to scroll. Thank you.

And I put my finger up in there and I move it up and down and nothing happens. How many times does that happen? You hate when that happens? Seriously, don't you hate when that happens? Who doesn't? It's my question. Who doesn't? Thank you.

I mean, I don't know. It's Fat Pile Friday. I don't think we have to do any coronavirus. It's Fat Pile Friday today. I'm sick of it because... Me too. I'm sick of it. I can't get enough of it.

Yeah. There's nothing funny because, like, ew, we can't make fun of that. Why not? Why not? Why can I not make fun of the monkey with the 10 dead babies? Well, 10 dead monkey babies. Why can't I do that? Well, you can't.

You can't accept, well, because you can't. Because you can't. Plus then you have people that freak out. You know, my wife just sent me some pictures of shopping. That's going to be great. By the way, she should be taking those and put her home website, Coronavirus Shoppers. That's a million dollar idea.

Walmart people is a thing. Coronavirus people. Yes. Coronavirus people. Coronavirus shoppers? No, because nobody's shopping for coronavirus. Other coronavirus over here, I need two of those. Nobody's shopping for that.

Oh, yeah, no, it's too much. Can you pick one back? I only want one. One of you kids got lucky today. Come on. I can only afford one. You can't. You know, it's not going to happen.

But coronavirus, here's your, we've got to work it out now. Coronavirus people. People, yeah.com. See if that's available. We have to buy that right now. Seriously, don't shake your head. We have to buy that right now with that $100 bill in your wallet. I know it's still there from yesterday.

Don't joke around. You know it is. Coronavirus people. I mean, I want to do, again, nothing but talk coronavirus. But on the other side of me, that side way over there. I did my own fat joke. I didn't even get a rim shot for that.

On one side of me, you know, that side way over there. I don't. So just remember, please, if you feel like you've been exposed to Corona's. Subscribe to Chumper Fat, listen, bench, listen. Yes.

Go to the YouTube channel, watch all the videos, four of them. Yes. and just bench, keep going. And I believe. Share with your friends and neighbors. I don't want you to quote me on this, but if you had the coronavirus and you listen to you and the fact, you could feel better.

You don't want me to be quoted on that? I don't want to be quoted on that just in case it's false. People know you're not a doctor. It's okay. Oh, true. Okay. You could quote me on that. You could quote me on that.

I mean, it's fine. If a doctor were to say, it'll make you feel better. And you could say, are you positive? Do you have facts? Do you have numbers? and the doctor would say, well, we're in human trials right now. No, we're in rat trials. We notice that every time we play CTF to the rats with coronavirus, they get happy.

They get happy. So we're working on human trials next. So just remember to follow the CDC guidelines, wash your hands, prepare, just. It's dumb. I don't think we. As dumb. I don't know. I don't know.

It's not enough. We've all seen kids. picked their nose and wiped their butt and touch stuff at the grocery store I just whenever you know we've got coronavirus is spread it now it's all over the world getting more

friendly with germs will be okay well you know some would make the argument that because we've become less friendly with germs that now we've became we've become more susceptible to them right the times of playing in the dirt

and rolling around and drinking water out of a hose and, you know, rubbing your snot on your neighbor kid when you're playing baseball out in the dirt doesn't happen anymore. And I'll somewhat say, you know, nobody wants Billy to rub his snot on you, but we've all had it done to us. And we've all gotten...

Look at us now. We've all gotten pissed at Billy. Dude, what are you doing? Keep the snout to yourself. Now go, go, but you continue to play with Billy because he's your friend. He lives next door. He's just Billy with the snot.

And now that Billy has been stuck inside with the Xbox and the 360, it doesn't come outside. The snot just drips on the Xbox all day and doesn't touch you. And Billy's realized that if he stays in all by himself, they can drip that snot all over himself just as long as he wants.

I could make that Minecraft clear. I thought you don't want to make fun of it. No, I don't. I don't. You're right. I don't. It's not funny at all.

But anyway, that's the argument, right? That's the argument that we've, all the antibacterial stuff, all the social, well, we've had, we have, it's really strange. We have social isolation, but we all go to these huge events, right?

That's why yesterday was, you know, events canceled. All these, we have this social isolation in this social media world where we all take our protective devices, our phones with us when we go to these giant events. But we're still at the giant events with all these other people. Yeah, well, you know, I got to capture that perfect Instagram photo. I know. Like on Monday, I went to the Stockyards in Fort Worth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a spring break here in Texas right now.

and there was some girls, man. They were hanging out with the longhorns. They got to get that picture with the longhorns and it was all social media. So I don't know. I don't know. It's just, it feels weird right now. It feels really weird.

Yeah, it's all about the gram, baby. You know. Which, by the way, that girl on top of the longhorn, she looked. I was like, hey, girl, you like that long horn? You know, thank you. Yeah, thank you. No, but seriously, Fisher.

She was up on top of that bull. Both horns. Yes. Pointing straight up. And at that moment, I was so jealous that I was not the long horn handler. Okay, so she was up on a real one. Yes. Now, the thing is, the last time.

They're fake ones out there? The thing is, the last time I was down there, and I don't want to downplay the bull walk or the bull run every day in Fort Worth. They do it once or twice a day. It's a big deal. It's been going on for a million years. I'm sure the event has been canceled now. They don't do it anymore until further notice.

I get it. But the last time I was there, we went early. We walked around over where they keep them and all the hands. show up and the handlers show up with like, oh, geez. Look at the time. Freaking bull walk again. I gotta do this thing.

Get over here. They're whapping them. I think that the bulls are like, the bulls are like meth. They're like what? The bulls are like meth users, man. What do you mean? They've got them all drugged up.

They're not like, they're just like cake and stuff. Oh, dude. They can't have them be regular bulls walking down the street with little kids along the curbs. I mean, the people are road up right there along the road where the bulls come. And, you know, some bull every once in a while and start going,

I want to wander over there by the sidewalk. And, you know, Jose, whacha, wax him on the head. And I go back over this way then. And they go down the street. I mean, they're pretty, pretty docile for bulls. Like I said, all I care about that, like, that blondie. I was so bummed. The last time I was like, come on a crop top, white jeans.

Maybe they just got a shipment in. And I was like, oh, she looked great. Blonde hair just flowing out. So maybe you catch it before they get to do the shipment. Kept messing up her shirt. And the guy's like, yeah, you times up. She's like, no, but my shirt is not. Okay, so that's the one across the street.

Yes, that's across the street. Yeah, the picture one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was even worse. He doesn't even have to move. No, he doesn't move. He just like, oh, I feel so bad. But again, I don't know if I was more jealous.

of the longhorn? I had this beautiful blonde. That one is probably the dealer. He's where the other longhorns show up and get their fix. Yeah, I got it for you. Go ahead. Get out of here. I mean, this is bad.

Can we at least, you know, give them a little blood transfusion once in a while, a little adrenaline, give him something to, you know, just clean blood. Something just to have them, you know, maybe once in a while. Hey, how you doing? A little trot, little longhorn trot down there. road slide the horns back on the I don't think about it you're right though a daily walk down the street

you're way too docile to be a long horn right because I have long horns in my neighborhood oh yes those guys were like you do not want to end up with one of those ramped up your rear no thank you I'm just saying and you're not walking up to the you're not walking up to the fence you're not walking up to the fence You're not walking up to the fence like nothing. For the gram.

Well, maybe you are, and then we get to talk about you on Fat Pau Friday. Right. All right. I do have a couple of Graham stories. For sure, one that I remember in the fat pile. When we could start plowing through this, we could start digging through the fat. We can start digging through the fat. Wait, my.

It's over already? Thank God. Friday the 13th. Thank God. It's over. Thank you. No, that's not. I don't get a rim shot for.

for thanking God, what are you doing? I was just talking about the ground. This is Friday. I don't care anymore. Hey. We died. I'm sorry, I didn't mean. Oh, we're not.

We're not. We're not going to. We're not going to. It is the last, it might be the last broadcast of the week. You never know. This building is like, well, it's Friday.

Level one protocol. Did I record something for a Saturday show? No. I'm not coming. I'm definitely not coming in on Saturday. Oh, you got the bull walk to go to again? I do. I was so bummed the last time.

I was so bummed. I knew it was going to happen to because I said we were there early and we're over there because I, you know, took the kids. You want to see the bull walk, right? You go down there. And it's Fort Worth. And it's a big deal. And so we got there early.

You walk over there and where they're all getting ready. And the cowboys, the wrestlers, the wranglers are over there getting ready. And, you know, they're smoking their cigarettes and drinking their Red Bull. Who's smoking? Smoking their cigarettes. What's that? Who smoking?

Oh, everybody. They're all firing them up. Even the horses. The horses, the bulls, the cowboys, the Wranglers, the truck drivers, all of them. Red Bull and cigarettes is what's going on back there behind the scenes. Is this before the heart attack? Now, well, I think that the Cowboys drink the Red Bull just to piss off the Texas Longhorn. I think.

Come up with a drink, you stupid, Longhorn? You never know. but I was like as they're wandering around I'm like they're not really this is not a like Spain's bull run they're not excited to even be here why do we even have them here why should I be excited for them

right well that's probably what the problem maybe they'll slap them in the ass on the way around the corner when they start coming around and they're kicking up no because they don't want you don't want a little billy with the boogers coming out of his nose

ending up with a long horn up his rear. Wait, Billy's back? See a little Billy popping down the street with that longhorn stuck in his ass as he's right. It's like a puppet. It's like a puppet. It's like, Billy's, is that bull?

What? He's making the kid talk. Billy! Now you're making me joke about a kid with a long horn up his butt. That's what you get here. Because you said that the show, I heard the sounder with the show is over. But by the way, if you think about it, if you think about it, it's not, it's normal for us to talk about like that. If you remember way back, I know this is a long time, it just popped in my head.

Way, way, way back, the Thanksgiving Day parade, we joked about something like this too. Oh. Or the balloons, we wanted him to see him fly high. Absolutely. And the little girl was like, that's our thing. If anyone has the audio, I do. I cannot share it. I'm sworn to a worldwide secrecy.

Interesting. Can you give it to me and then I share it? The broadcast that Stu and myself and Glenn did for the Gasparilla parades. My friend, that's the same kind of stuff. Same kind of thing going on there. We may not have been the, it was funny. The best group. It was funny.

I've told the story before. I mean, they wanted us to do the program. they thought it'd be a good idea we didn't want to do it the first parade i stayed back in the studio glenn and stew went because they're like no you stay in the studio you don't have to come to this stupid thing we're just going to make it we're going to we're going to make it and then you said don't twist my arm because i really want to be with you guys right right at that time at that time it was me no problem go ahead don't want to be with just my arm it's oh i have to stay barely like you right now go ahead so and we decided that we're just going to make the parade

we're going to do it as we just don't care we're going to do it as bad as we can. And so I ended up watching it on the TV and I was ahead of what they were getting. So how the hell were you're ahead? The TV camera was placed before where they were at the parade row. Oh, so you were. I was seeing what they were going to see. So you were, you see Snoopy and then two seconds later, Snoopy's over here. Or down the road, you know, like 30 seconds later. Yeah. Oh, here comes Snoopy. Yeah. Right. Oh, that's awesome. So, and it ended up being funny. And then everybody wanted to have it every year.

So then it's, we got to be funny. It's every year. It became a thing. Nice. And it was great. You know, we got, you know, you go down there, you get your private little fenced-in area, food, drink, and you're there, and you just broadcast the parade.

And they didn't have to twist your arm, you know. When they started talking about, well, look, we're just going to fence in the area, and you got free food and free drinks. We'll give you a place to park. Nobody has, nobody. Nobody has a place to park in downtown Tampa for Gasparilla. You guys have parking passes on these roads here. If you have to twist my arm.

All right. I guess. I guess. I have to. I have to. I'll bring the whole family. Fine. We'll make it a whole family or deal. And it was so, you know, everybody's there. Bring the in-laws and bring that sister that, you know, comes. Bring her too. She might as well bring her. And then that nephew of mine. And the guy that travels all around the country, yeah, bring him too. Yeah. Bring him.

And the other, the cousin. And that cousin I left in Canada, don't bring him. No, no, no, no. Don't bring the Canada cousin guy. Why have you got to bring? I didn't even know he existed at that time. That's the only reason I didn't bring him. I didn't know he existed.

If I knew he was, if I knew he was, if I knew he was, that would have said, come on. Don't bring the Canadian cousin. Like, I hate that guy. Don't bring him. I didn't even know he existed. I can't hate, you can't hate someone that you. Oh, wait. Maybe you can't.

Can you hate someone you don't even know exists? Yeah. You sure? Absolutely. You hate your cousin from Canada, so. But that's my point. You hated him. You told me off air.

I guess I was supposed to say out fair. Please? How is this case still going on? A date has now been set for the Florida Appeals Court to hear arguments. in the Robert Kraft prostitution case. How is this still going on? I mean, he went to a massage parlor and they've already thrown out video evidence

that was secretly recorded in- What case is this? I don't remember this. He's the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft. Oh, he went to get a massage? Yes. And it was like sex trafficking at the massage? At the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter.

I know. Yeah. And so video from the other spas have already been thrown out. Have a nice day. So three defendants from the Jupiter spa have pleaded not guilty. A fourth defendant has pleaded guilty. But the only reason he pleaded guilty is because he pleaded guilty to several misdemeanors and agreed to be deported.

So that's the only reason. If he was legal in this country, he would have fought it. So I, and Robert Kraft. I mean, I get it. He went to the massage parlor and it's horrible. He got his happy ending. And he didn't have anything to do with the, with the, if there was any trafficking going on, he didn't have anything to do with it.

Well, he certainly did, Jeff. He was promoting it by simply going there. He was promoting it by simply coming in. I mean, I could just go. No, I won't. I'll just stop. Look, first of all, he has anything to do with it, right? You go, if does the Grubhub guy bringing you Chinese food tonight?

Do you know that if he's legal or involved in trafficking and by giving him a tip, are you promoting trafficking? Yes. There you have it. In Connecticut, a man is suing a baseball league because, his son got hit in the face with a baseball. No, there's no. There's no.

No, when you think there's... I feel like, you know, we've been doom and gloom in this entire damn network. I know. I'm going to throw room shots everywhere. I am so sorry. So I feel sorry for the kid. Do you? Maybe he deserved a bat in his face.

No, I do. No, I got a baseball bat. He facial fractures? No thanks. That's why you wear a helmet. Okay. Well, that's what he's saying. The complaint says that the Little League and the Little League Connecticut

at District 1 were negligent in the matter, as they did not have a policy to prevent games from moving forward without trained umpires. Okay, here's my thought. You're a parent. You show up to the field. There's no umpires. Kids want to play.

And you say, well, we're supposed to be umpires out here. Going home. Sorry, kids. There's no game today. Take care. Bye. Well, we want to play. We've got practice on Tuesday night.

Let's go. Or, you let them play like they did. Nope. I feel like this is a... That's what's going to happen from now on, but they let them play. You got somebody says, all right, I'll be the ump. I got the ump.

I got the ump. You come on, you team's got to get started. You guys run out of the field. I hate that that, that's me. Is that you? That was me at one time. Oh, because I'm punching the face because I'm like, no. I got it.

Come out. No, Mr. Fisher, I'm sorry, but no. We're playing a game. No, we're not doing here. No, you know what. Billy, the snuck kid, Billy's already brought snacks. problem. Billy with it's not, you do not want his snacks. But he already brought him.

There's not on his snack. So when this guy's kid steps up to the plate, he steps in the batters box. Is it Mr. Fisher's kid or is it someone else's kid? It's not my kid because I would not have sued and my kid would have actually probably gotten out of the way. But the... Which one though? Elvis. Oh yeah, he would have gotten it anyway.

Actually, that's not true either because when he played baseball, I'll tell you a baseball story with Elvis. I really wanted him to be a good baseball player, and he was, except that his first year in Little League, he was in the batter's box and he got slammed on the side of the head with a baseball. No wonder he's like this. He didn't have facial fractures, but he got slammed in the head with a baseball.

And so he was gun shy, you know, bat shy. Oh, yeah. That whole season he was bat shy. He didn't step up in the batters box and backed up. And he was, you know, just, you know, which is weird, which is weird because he loved hitting people. Yeah, but fish, you get any hit with a ball? Everybody got hit with a baseball when they played baseball.

You get hit, you take it like a band. I never got hit when I played baseball. You never played baseball. Puerto Rico never played. There's nobody in Major League Baseball from Puerto Rico. You don't know what you're talking about. So this kid steps up. Ray Rod.

Jeter. Do you want me to get going? Yes, you know what? Yes, I do. Half of the roster with the Yankees. That's not keeping going. I mean, oh, there's other people too. So the kids.

steps into the matters box and the pitcher doesn't wait for him to get ready and just pitches and hits the kid in the face. Now that's not the league's fault. I'm sorry. That's not the league's fault. Absolutely. I feel sorry for your kid. I wouldn't want it to happen. I don't want it to happen to anyone. I understand that you're upset. I get it. Frisco Lindor. Carlos Petron. Javier Molugheyer Rodriguez. Javier Basque. Olando Cepeda. Jose Verr Rios, Eddie Rosario, Bernie Williams, Juan Gonzalez, Roberto Perez, Enrique Enrique Posada, Jorge Posada, René Ribera,

Christian Vasquez, Jorge Lopez, Alex Correa. You want to keep going? You know what name I didn't hear out that list? What? Could he screws? I mean, should we delve into the fat pile? I think it's time. I think we've prolonged it long enough.

I can't talk and rim shot myself. Of course you can. We've prolonged it long enough. Thank you. It feels weird though when I do it for myself. I like to do it to you. And I like it when you do it to me. Thank you.

Oh my gosh. It's so sad. Seriously. Is it though? Not really. Okay. Yes, it is. You know what I come to think of it is.

Are you going to get any stories? Like, what are you doing over there? Yeah, I'm going to do stories. I'm just reaching over here for the fat pile. Like Pornhub to release first non-pornographic movie. I mean... You've said that to me, and I don't believe it. No, it's a non-fiction narrative

about a queer woman and men who populated the lesbian strip club scene in Los Angeles in the early aughts. No. So... That's going to do great. It's called Shakedown. Right?

I mean, they're just trying to get into their own content world, right? It's not going to work, baby. I know, they're a porn hub. It's in the name. It's in the name. It's in the name. It's in the name. Change your name.

Or I don't know. Porn hub. Branch out and do hub? Yeah, I was going to say, almost want P-Hub, but no, that's, you don't want to be P-Hub. Don't want that. But Hub works. Hub works. Hub.

Hub is motherboard. Hub film. Hub is a mother word, I mean the motherboard, and then you just have little hubs. You got porn hub, comedy hub, action hub, dude. Queer hub, queer hub, jump hub, jump hub, rear hub. Yeah, that one too, front hub. Hub on this. And then you wanted sub-catteras, you got, you know, Britney Spear hub.

I like Britney Spear hub. Jessica Alba hub, Cameron Diaz hub. Jennifer Aniston hub. Oh, sorry. No, you can't do that one. Oh, no. Sorry. No, we can't do that.

Okay, so then we got to start of Quibi coming up. We've talked about Quibi a lot. I signed up. I would have to pay. So they're giving you, did you get your free 90 days? Yes, I did. Nice. But you have to pay before you get a free 90 days, though.

That's how they get you. So what, you got a year in three months? Yeah. That's not fair. The point is getting the three months in the year subscription. That's not fair. You know, I heard. By saying that out loud, I feel like that's like the person that's getting something at the store.

I don't know if you know this, but I worked at a grocery store. No, I didn't know that. In Florida for a while. Was this like, were you like a lower level employee? For a little while. Okay. Then I moved up. You moved up.

Dude, look at you. I know. I got the blue vest. You got the blue. Oh, so you worked at Publixie. Win Dixie. Okay. Publish is green.

That is true. Anyway, not that I remember. I'm sorry? I thought when Dixie was red. That would Dixie blue. Why are you? Red is red as, red as, red, don't, don't, don't. Don't.

Don't. Why did you check yourself and fix your shirt like you were wearing a vest? Red is. No, no, no, you didn't do that. No, you didn't do that. You checked yourself. You literally. See if the vest was on?

See if the vest was on and fixed your imaginary vest. That's what you do. You're the vest. No, but see, you're shaking the tag here. You didn't do the shirt. that you just went like fixed it like if you had it on and checked yourself like yo check me like check me like got to be got to be right got to be right if you're wearing the vest brother not everybody wears a vest you know that is true okay warmar's blue so yeah I know I know that's not quite the

see again you're checking yourself but if you're walking around with the blue vest you're the man or the woman sorry no that's back into that so you were the man. Yeah. Back in a day, you guys oppressed women. Yeah, we did come to think of it. When Dixie was an oppressor. Oh, yes.

What do you mean? We let them have the fish market. We let them have the floor of the market. We let them have the bakery. And the cashier. Someone has to be the cashier. Thank you. And we let them have the pharmacy.

Our pharmacist was a female. What more do you want? I give and I give. Wait, that was your decision? No. Okay. I just know that that's who was working. I mean, we did, I did I ever have a girl actually work for me in the produce department or the frozen food department or the meat department?

I don't think I did. I think there was a woman in the meat department for a while. Oh, yeah, she was. I was just trying to think of this. Now all I can think about it. Oh, she worked bad. Right. I know.

Can you cut me some salami, please? A thinner. Yeah. I need some of those extra thick pork chops. Can't get a pound of that ground beef? Pound it. Pound it. 10% less fat.

Can you grind that? It's already grown. Oh, thank you. You're right. Let me put this on. Let me put this on the hot plate. You're right. We can make anything go.

So Quibi, back to Quibi. Oh, we're good. How did they wait to Quibi to a female working in the meat department in the 80s? Did I mention this Friday the 13th? Yes, you're bloody. I feel like you come back from breaking. That's all you say. It's right to the 13th.

I'll just let you know that. It's going to, what's all that. So it's launching April 6th. They're in a big lawsuit now over. Oh, no. over one of their features that they have. One company is saying, your people used to work for us,

and that feature is now ours. I know, so good luck. Squibby says, we got a patent, bring it on. Yeah, like, I feel like everybody has some feature. Please, speak into that, before we get back to Quibi, speaking of that,

the feature that Netflix has of, top 10. No, going to the next, if you're binging shows. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go to the next one, and you skip. intro.

Yes. Why do they not allow that on Amazon or? Oh yeah. That should have drives me crazy. Netflix. That should be. Stop it, Netflix. Stop it.

You're hoarding technology that the rest of us want. I don't like the new update with Netflix. Did you see now they have ratings? Yeah. Or what's trending? I don't like that because I feel like I looked at the top 10. Yeah. No way.

I'm sorry. I want to know what measure. Are you used? Is this top 10 in my neighborhood? The measurement is the top. 10 is what do we like here at Netflix? Exactly. So what do we want to promote it Netflix?

So is it a top 10 because, oh, this is top 10 in the United States? Okay. But is it a top 10 like literally in the U.S.? That's what it says, top 10. See, but I don't believe that because the top 10 makes no sense. Makes no sense. That's the diverse nature of this country. Like they say right now, Space Jam is number three.

Hmm. Now, Space Jam just got released on Netflix. Yeah. So it's possible. Yes, but are that many people watching Space Jam? You can't drag me away from Space Jam on Netflix. Exactly what I mean. Cannot drag me away from that. There's like three new seasons of new stuff coming out.

And why am I watching Space Jam? All I'm looking for is detective shows from anywhere in the world. It's all I want. Yeah, but you like the foreign ones though. I don't care. Anyway, that's why I said, anywhere in the world. Have you seen the heist? It doesn't matter to me

Where are you from, baby I've seen the heist Did you like it? That's all right I couldn't get it It was another language So Quibi Is gonna release on April 6

And they give you 90 days free Plus But it's not 90 days free Within the first year It's you have to get a year subscription Then they throw in that extra 90 days Right

Well it's like the Disney. I like some of their ideas, though, for the shows. I can't wait to see. I have a couple of ideas for Quibi shows. Have they not called you yet? Have they not called it yet? No, I've got a couple of really good ideas.

I know, you talked about it. Well, not really, but you have mentioned that you have ideas. Oh, they're perfect for Quibi. Perfect for what they want to do. Do they have the shows? Yeah, they had a list of some of the people that they were coming on. I'm ready for the J-Lo? Did you read how that works?

It's a really interesting concept. So one person gets a million. Right. Then the other person gets half of that. Yeah, because they got to keep paying it forward, right? Yes, everybody has to pay it forward. So that other person keeps the half of the million. And then that person gets half of whatever's left,

all the way into like whatever half is. Does J-Lo do all of those episodes? I believe so. I feel like she was only like the, you know, hey, here's J-Lo, here's your million dollars. Okay, got to go. And then, you know, Billy with the snot, rolls in and gives the rest of the money away. Billy kid is just all over their map right now.

He's everywhere. He's everywhere. That's why you still remain his friend. You knew he was going to end up in places. He's just nodding the world one at a time. I mean, hey, look who's here. Billy, come on in. Before I leave the BRN world, as long as we're on Quibi, I am going to be fascinated.

I've been reading about it, and we were talking about what shows is going to be, and here's a list of, you know, movies and chapters, and they all, they want to do it in 10 minutes or less, and that, and I love that idea. But my thought is, is, are they going to release them so I can binge them? Like, say, if it's in-between moments is what they're going for. So do I get a show and there's one episode and then I have to wait for it to download, or can I, my in-between moment could be Tuesday.

And I just want to watch the entire damn thing. I want to watch, you know, 20, 10-minute episodes. instead of waiting for that. I'm going to be fascinated to see how they release some of those because you have, you know, most dangerous game when the street lights go on, survive, flipped, unscripted, and docks.

Thanks a million. That's the Jennifer Lopez, Christian Bell and Tracy Morgan show that we were talking about. So it's just going to be interesting to see how they play out. And I'll be fascinated to have it, although I haven't got my free, not free 90 days with a year's subscription. I'll tell you what's free right now for you, though.

Is a subscription to chewing the fat? Ain't nobody got time for that? No, they do, though. They do for those. I'm there for the between moments, not the in-between moments. I'm there for the between moments. I don't get the rim shot? What are you?

You're not done? I'm not done. At the blaze.com slash podcasts. How can I be for the in-between moments? if I'm not done. Thank you. Now I'm done. All right.

Fat Pile headlines. Just for you. All right. Newark bound plane diverted when passengers mistake allergies for coronavirus. Can I, can you tell me as a Fisher air?

No, no. Would that happen to my if I'm flying Fisher Air? No. What happens? The new. coronavirus plan protocol one is you cough we push you out

does vapid just does it's so we have a shoot already installed in all our planes so if I go no we're not going to shoot anybody oh my gosh how dare you we're giving you the opportunity you might survive depending on where we're at in the flight you might survive he's going to dump him just going to push

him out we've already got the shoot don't you want to go in the COVID-19 shoot No, no, you can't fire a gun in a plane. It's just ugly. We've all seen the movies. I know what happens in planes. What happened? What happened?

What happened? Does vaping? That's bad. Bad things happen. Does vaping make you more susceptible to coronavirus? Yes. Here's the Graham story. The Instagram star Don's skimpy swimsuit to fight coronavirus.

That's nice of her. No, no, no, no. Go to pace too. Go to pace too. Look at her skimpy butt. Oh, boy. All right. I'll see.

Oh, yeah, the street. Yeah, I remember seeing this. Yeah. And then turn the page to the other one. Wash your damn hands, as her sign says, and her swimsuit and her mascot. She looks great. She looks all right.

They're right there, that page. Yeah, she looks great. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. I want my hands to be washed by her. No. No?

She just washes. She just washes her hands extra now Keep the hand sanitizer with me at all times I'm ready to deep clean I mean am I looking I did yes I did yes you are looking I did I did Anti-plastic book for sale at Urban Outfitters

is wrapped in plastic Thank you Thank you Hey, nobody got time for that. Boy, no kidding. This is ridiculous. It really is just ridiculous. Yeah, it is.

Just sad. We have, oh, there's some great royal stuff. Oh, did you see the audio? They got him. The dingleberries. We talked to them on the two of the fat. Those are our boys, right? Yes.

No. Oh, yes, yes, they are. No, this are the Russian dude. Yeah, we talked to them. Oh, yes. We talked to them for the voicemail stuff. There were Russians? Yes.

Yes. That was them right? Oh, let me email them to see if it's them. I'm sure it was them. If it's them... You could go back and listen to... Episode two, I think it was. It might even have been episode negative five to this... To chewing the fat.

Yeah. It might not have been chewing the fat. No, I don't think it was chewing the fat. Yeah. But yeah, no, I think it was chewing the fat. It was chewing the fat episode. It was the early episodes. Yeah.

Well, we did the phone number thing and the calling for birthday or whatever it was, right? Yep. Well, first they came to us. I'm sure it was them. First they came to us because they were helping out the scam artist. Remember that? Yes. We heard, we're calling the number that the son put on the billboard.

Yes, for us to call. That wasn't real. And then when we did it live, like the show does everything live, then we were like, hey, we recognize their voice. Then we called them and they're like, yeah, that's us. But that's not us. It's us, but he's not us. That he didn't pay for us to do. Somebody scamming them.

Yes. Thank you. But I think that is them. You think he's them? That did the royal stuff. And I was reading that. It didn't look like they got him on anything. He was pretty.

No. I mean, he talked to talk to Trump and then other world leaders. And there's no new stuff. He doesn't say, you know, oh boy, when Megga goes to sleep, I think about him. Wow. Yeah, no, he's not thinking he didn't do anything. Now, that would be something. I'll be great.

Imagine you to get something. juicy. That's what they're hoping for, but there's nothing there. Well, according to them, they're releasing something tomorrow, Saturday. They're releasing the full video, I mean, the full audio on video, of course. Yeah, because they record themselves doing it. They're going to do whatever. That's our boys. I'm sure it is.

So I'm going to definitely be on YouTube tomorrow. I don't know. Well, you're going to be there already because you're subscribed to The Fat with Jeff Fisher YouTube channel. You're going to watch the video that I posted tonight. Tonight. At 6 p.m. Central. So you're already going to be there.

Yeah, but I'm not going to be there. stay there from tonight to tomorrow. You're still going to be, that's why I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm still going to be there. I'm definitely not going to be there after your 21-minute interview. I love this guy too, by the way, that we talked to tonight. Yeah. But my point is, is that Harry, what I read that he said, I didn't listen, I didn't listen, I

apologize. There was nothing like the Bernie Sanders. When I read that he said, he was like, you know, I love Megan. Yeah. There was nothing juicy. And what's her face over there, Greta? he, you know, they get a chance to meet her. He was, you know, sorry, and he believes in all that stuff anyway.

Yeah. And then he did, they did get him on the whole, like, if you do support climate change while you're traveling. And he said that he said what he said before. He feels like he has to for the safety. For the safety. Yeah, I mean, that's nothing to do. We all knew that. We all knew that.

There was nothing like, no. I can't wait till dad goes to bed because then I sneak over. And play with his horse. Right. All right. Play with the tail. Oh, yeah. I can't do that because I'm freaking...

The hell of it will become an entire 40-minute segment again. Proposed California bill would pay meth users to say sober. I think that's a fine idea on paper. If you think a math user is going to be... There's not a math user in California that won't say, yep. Pay me to be sober. Can I quote you on that?

Because I feel like that's... That's a little bit controversial. I'm sober. Pay me the money. Wait, but you say you're sober. I know, I am. I was sober when I took the check. Speaking of taking the check and drugs,

are you all cut up with the resident? No. Okay. We'll talk about it next week then, if we're still here. Dude, why do you keep saying that? I'm just saying. Lanser aligning Keep on

Friday the 13 Fat Pau Friday And we were on drugs Right man in jaguar Seen with needle in his arm I feel like we talked about this one We talked about that one Why is it still on the fat pile

Because that's why it's called the fat pile Why are you putting stories to the side And not reading them I don't know I feel like I've already done those There are more stories that I've already done Let me see you read it So the Church of Scientology

Oh those are your people They're right down the street I know we got to go to this too. I've been wanting to go to the over there. They give free things. I don't know. Not anymore. I mean, we're closed.

I just want to come in. I just want to come in and see you. Okay, please. Why are you waiting a mask when you talk to them? No, this is the door. Oh, that's the door. I just want to come in. Let me in.

That's the door. That's not a mask, dude. Wow. Oh. So they, anyway, they released 100. of balloons. They opened a new church in California. I mean, Scientology's cranking out.

They've got cash. Are those lizard people that believe in the aliens are coming with the lizards? I'll tell you what. You go read Dionetics by Elron Hubbard. Okay. All right? And then come and talk to me. Okay.

I'll put that. Since I'll be spending the time of YouTube today. But they're apologizing. They're apologizing for releasing the balloons. Yeah. Oh, no. You can't be doing that. Yeah.

DeGreta. How dare you? Yeah, the balloons, the helium balloons angered the Ventura, California city officials who fear they're going to damage the environment. How? Because they're fly up in the air. And? Birds eat them and mess with the environment. I'll say if a bird eats that one, the air, that's pretty cool.

I want that bird. You do? I do. I mean, it's possible. What is the story? What was this story? This story was the end of February, so it's possible. Do you have an update it?

Did I throw, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, so then we had the story from Missouri where thousands of birds died. What's the date on this story? Hold on, this was the end of February, right? So this has been a couple weeks, and this story in Missouri was about a week after these balloons were released.

Thousands of birds found dead in southeastern Missouri, and nobody knows why. the balloons from the Church of Scientology in California got caught up in the wind so you're telling me that these balloons traveled all right to California yes to Missouri

and the birds then ate the balloon stuff and died okay I might need you to whip out the map right all right and show me all right there's a man California California okay look at that coastline

okay in Missouri Oh, Missouri over in here. Really? That close? That's a middle of the country. Oh, I thought we were further than that. I'd be like by Michigan up there. No, I mean, well, you know, let's change the, hold on.

Let's make this Michigan. Okay. All right. I thought Michigan was like this. Look at that coastline. I thought Michigan was like this. There you go. This is Michigan today.

This is Michigan. But when you change the globe, it goes like this, okay? This is Michigan by itself. Okay. All right? But when you say, oh, let's look at the map. It goes like that. Because this is the country.

Oh. But then you miss the Florida. So you have to flip it. No, Florida is all by itself. It's like Alaska. There's Alaska, Florida, and Hawaii down here. Just little dots. But I thought we established that the thumb facing down is.

Yeah, this is Florida. This is the country without Michigan. Oh, without Michigan. Michigan is now along with Alaska and Hawaii. Yeah. Okay. When the map is like this, when you have Florida, you have Michigan. Alaska and Ohio

separate When Michigan Then you have Michigan all by itself Yeah And then you make The thumb The thumb Michigan You have your hand like this

So this is the country Michigan is without Florida And so Florida Alaska And Hawaii are separate I like it I mean are you dumb? Yes That's why I told you

That's why I think out of that map Look at that coastline That's a nice coastline So So Missouri's like right in here Middle of the country I don't know

So you tell me that those... Church of Scientology is responsible for the death of those damp birds in Missouri. Thank you. Breaking news here on CTF News. We're not going to go to the man on the street because he doesn't think it's true, but I do. Scientology is responsible for thousands of bird deaths in the state of Missouri. And the lawsuit should be filed very soon. By who?

by the bird people. Is the same bird people that represent the Vegas pigeons? Don't. Oh my gosh. The Vegas pigeons are, well, they lost one. They lost one, right? With the glue killed the glue or. We don't know that.

Allegedly. Yeah. Don't you be putting words in their mouth. Allegedly the glue guy. Right. All right. So again, another bird. life,

death, cause, Scientology. Those bastards. El Ron Hubbard and Dianetics. You never read it, though, have you? No. Oh, that's fascinating.

Have you? Oh, man, you can't drag me away from Dianetics. At one time in my life, I had a guy that was big-time Dianetic or Clearwater guy. Dianetica? Is that what they call themselves? No, no.

No, that's what they called them. Oh, okay. What do they call themselves, Christians? Scientologists. Oh, that's lame. I mean, they own Clearwater. They own Clearwater, Florida. Actually, I would like to, if we have any Scientologist listeners.

And whether we may have. I used to have the, I may, I don't know, it's not in this phone. What about my older phones? But I, the, uh, their spokesperson. We'll call in. She, I know, she had my line. We went. Yeah, we talked about it.

I mean, you say anything. I mean, like, if we were talking about, uh, taking me seriously about the balloons. Yeah. If she's, hello. For sure? Jeff, put me on speaker.

Let me go on the air. I want to disavow. We are not responsible for bird deaths. I mean, no, I got it. There's jokes we heard. Did they not issue those at Scientology? Right. No, we can't joke about it.

I know it's a joke, Jeff, but it's, you know, people. Oh, she was that serious about it? Yeah, I know it's a joke, but you can't look. people try to rip us apart all the time and try to say bad things we just can't do that maybe they're going to look around take a look at yourself

but that girl from King of Queens got him pretty good the actors from King of Queens yeah I mean they're but then you got Tom Cruise man he's the man you got Tom Cruise there's a few other celebrities

that are big into Scientology I don't get it though always they show their faces around I mean they own Clearwater man I just don't want to worship blizzard people and space aliens. Before you start saying things you don't know

what you're talking about. What's a book called again? Dianetics. Dianetics. You could probably get it for free. Well, if I'm not going to get it for free, why am I going to join your shirt? They used for years they ran commercials

about getting a copy free. All you do is call their 800 number. But the only problem is. You have to become a member? No, but. Oh. Hello? Dionetics here.

No, no, no. Remember you ordered the book? No, no. Oh no. Be gone. Dianetics here. No, no. No problem, man.

We'll come back later. Is that it? I don't know. You got more. What about those last three that you got? Be the last three. Oh, I've had enough. The last three.

It could be the last show of the week. So. That is the last. Why do you keep saying it could be the last? I don't understand why you're wording there. Why do you keep saying that? I'm just saying for sure. Make it be nervous.

It's just. I don't. Don't like the way that's sad. I don't know why that bothers me, but I don't like the way you're wording it. Let's just go out with a bang. See what I mean? That's what I'm talking about. I don't like that.

Let's end on a happy note. You got to have something that we'll end on a happy note. All right, let's end up a happy note. Yeah, let's end in a happy note. Yeah, let's end in a half a man. Let's go. Man claims he can unlock smartphone with a severed thumb. Charlottesville will observe holiday marking the end of slavery and

Jefferson's birthday, sophisticated, Soviet spy radio discovered in the dirt. Putin reveals plan to use body double. He probably already has been doing that. High school student created fake 2020 candidate on Twitter. A woman was denied a transplant because she had alcohol in her system despite saying she doesn't drink. That's no, that's funny there.

There's nothing funnier than a woman getting denied to transplant because they say you drink and then it turns out she doesn't drink. 1400 oral bee toothbrush heads seized in Philadelphia What those toothbrush heads were doing? Fake oral bead toothbrush heads We're seen walking down the street in Philadelphia I think you found this story You found a story

Are those bristles Are you just excited to see? Are those bristles clean? Are you just excited to see me? They arrived in a package from Turkey. Officials say Brushheads who manufactured an unsanitary facility

you dirty little brush. You stick those bristles back in that package right now. Deputies say car thief outed himself by using own foot locker rewards account with stolen credit card. Come on, man.

Come on, man. You know, that's the wrap-up of the week right there. I mean, criminals are, this is the dumbing down of America right there. I mean, churches are releasing balloons and killing burns all across the country. Are we talking about that? Are we talking about that? No.

No, we are not. We're not talking about the bird genocide going on. Nobody is talking about it. Look at the time, that's why we need to talk about it. Birds are dying. And you cut me off on Friday the 13th?