Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 328 | Mid-Week Mini Fat Pile: Judges, Crime, & Corona

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

Day 3 inside the CQB with Jeffy and Kris Cruz. Today's tweet of the day is a great one because it involves buttholes and cats... you do the math. A man feels bad after he stole a 2,000 year old catapult bolt 15 years ago and decided to turn it in... Well he really didn't turn it in. Selling body parts once again is on the news and this time is in Colorado. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Welcome to it. Chewing the Fat with yours, truly, Jeff Fisher. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today. Just remember, one of my favorite tweets of the day today. I think, you know, that's what we're going to start every day, which is the favorite tweet of the day from at Jack was. A VX producer friend of mine was hired in November to finish some of the 400,

effects shot in At Katz movie. His entire job was to remove CGI butt holes that had been inserted a few months before, which means that somewhere

out there, there exists a but-hole cut of cats. Now, you gotta work, man. You gotta work. So remember, oh man, like, so long ago, two years ago.

In 19, what years were you in? 19, we're in 2000, 2020, 19, I don't even remember what year it is anymore. 2018? Yeah, that'd be two years ago. Okay. I can't even remember the date. Ooh, thank you. Man, so long ago.

When the Me Too movement was in full gear and everybody was getting blamed for everything, Remember Steve Wynn, the casino executive chairman of Wynn resorts, and he was accused of raping a girl way back in the 1970s, all right, and claimed that she had a daughter from Steve Wynn. Right. And she was so bad, and she was treated so horribly that she had to. birth the baby in a gas station restroom. All right? So now, the case is over.

Because. The case is finally over. Thank you. The case is finally over. We've finally hashtag Me Too'd Steve Wynn. Except that the judge in the case

said, I find that Mr. Wynn's testimony is credible. and Ms. Kudas' testimony lacks veracity in numerous areas. Which means, she lied. Thank you. Unbelievable. Another quote from the judge. The story seems to be totally fanciful.

Bless you. And six feet away. Social distancing, okay, right now. so he will win his award, which was a dollar. He only won his, that's all it was. Good for him. But he quit. Remember, they made him step down.

Yeah. I mean, he had to resign as chairman and chief executive of his own damn company. Can he get it back? I, you know, he probably, I mean, he's old now and he's having vision problems. Does he have the corona? So he's, you know, he's good. I think he'll be fine. Okay, okay, okay.

I think he'll be all right. Because he even said, you know, that he, you know, he finally was happy about, I would say that I've never set eyes on Ms. Kuda before today, but I can't even see her today because he's got retinitis pigmatosa. Oh, and who among us hasn't dealt with, what was it again? Retinita pigmentosa. You know, that happens a lot to the Me Too guys. Oh, really?

I look at Bill Cosby's wandering around with his With his blind cane Tap and everything and he needs help around And wins doing that Harvey Harvey's being let around with Walker I mean the B-2 movement takes its toll bro Well yes think about it dude your entire life You were up here you were at the top of your game

And here comes the lady and accuses you And you are on the scum of the the earth right now. Immediately you're guilty. Immediately you are the scum of the earth. Two years. Two years it takes to finally get a judge to say, but it's not enough though.

But that's not enough though. A judge saying, oh and then it'd be like, oh, well the judge was a male, a white old male, so they're just trying to stick together. You can't win. I know. The only way to win is,

to automatically kill whoever was accused. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. As soon as, oh, Jeffrey touched me, hashtag me too. Wait, what is that? Is that a...

Oh, wow. We lost them. Two years later. Two years later. Oh, you know what? Foundhood he didn't do it. Oh, darn. Oh.

Well, you know, he did something wrong in his lifetime, so he deserved it. That's the way it goes. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. So remember way back, I didn't even remember how long ago it was. I just went two years ago.

What year are we in again? 2020. Yeah, remember way back in that olden time year of 2019. You mean last year? You mean actually like... Oh, yeah, last year. Yeah, that's what it was. Three months ago?

That's what you mean? Three months ago? When Katie Perry was in. court over stealing music the music that she stole from La Cray So

And they found They found her guilty Yes 2.8 million dollars Worth of guilty Yes Yeah the judges now Federal judges now

Looked at that And said You know what? No I'm sorry You're not liable For infringing Yep sorry

It's fine New Mr. Flame Marcus Gray Got the jury verdict for 2.8 million, yeah, he's getting squat. Oh.

It gets nothing. And we play the here. We played the songs on the podcast. The judge said it is undisputed in this case, even viewing the evidence in the light, most favorable to plaintiffs, that the signature elements of the eight-note ostinado in joyful noise.

I mean, don't look at me like you don't know what ostinato is. I don't know. What is this? Placito Domingo? Is that you? Placita? I'll break it down for you, Chris, just for you. Yeah, because I don't know what that is.

A continually repeated musical phrase or rhythm. Oh, okay. That prior compositions, including prior works composed by the parties, as well as what all agree is a separate non-infringing ostinato in Dark Horse, they do contain similar elements. But? But the infringement is a not protectable expression. So I have a nice day.

Get out. So does that mean that we can use it? Can we use that actanato? Yeah. Right? Our own Astonado. Yeah, we could use that, right? We just...

Yes. We have... So all we have to do is just say, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a little eight-note ostinato. Eight-no assonado, yeah. Yeah, that's our eight-note astinato. So didn't you dare? Well, good for her, I guess.

Yeah, okay. I guess. Yeah. I'm sorry. The first judge said guilty, so she will always be guilty. Right. The world thinks she stole the bits of the song, right? Yeah.

Yeah. And Katie, you know, she's like, well, you know, I don't have to give the guy 2.8 million. And we talked about it. We talked about it last year in the show. You know, she peas $2.something million. She puts out another hit done. Yes. It's not like tomorrow she's on the street so San Francisco, you know,

begging and pooping on the middle of the streets. She'll be fine. She'll be fine. But, you know, like we talked about it when we were talking about it on the podcast is that's a very fine line if we're going to start making artists pay other artists because that one note sounds the same. Right. There's so many notes that you can like,

Make it different. Well, there is only so many notes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's so many notes. You know, there's some combinations that will occasionally repeat. And then you'd be like, ooh, but it's called a remix. What do you think they have so many remixes? If I hear a song and my ostinato is in that song, I'm suing.

Oh, you sue it? I'm suing. What case are you going to use as a precedence of case? I'll find one. Okay. Okay. I'll find one because it's my ostinato. that they're stealing. That pisses me off right now. I'm mad right now. Nobody's even done it.

Just the thought of someone taking your ostinado, it just pisses you off. I can't. I can't stop talking about it. Someone's going to get angrier and angrier. I don't want to do it. You know, forget the coronavirus. I could die tomorrow of that breathing. But if someone takes, chewing the fat, octanato, we're done. Asinato or octanato or octanato or any kind of worm of ostinado we're suing to them i'm gonna be two of them they're done oh you're gonna meet to them not just sue them they're done are you gonna sue them and me to them or just me to them i'm gonna be two of all me to them all me to them all it's gonna be again okay can i want the i want that we're dropping bombs on them okay we're drop sound machine think about take my ostinato again you so uh so also

now people more good news more good we go i like this i like this day it's wednesday uh A thief has returned a 2,000-year-old artifact. He's still 15 years ago. Good job. Now, he's a little concerned. You know, times are tough. He's thinking maybe the world might be ending. And so he was out visiting an archaeological site, you know, 15 years ago.

And he took a 2,000-year-old, well, they're calling it a catapult bolt, but it's just a rock, a circle rock. How dare you? I'm sorry. No. No. You know, you don't like when people take your octanados. Can you please? It's as sonados. Yeah, the octanados. You know, please address it as it should be. It's a catapult bolt. Thank you. It's a circle rock. So it's a ball of a rock. That's a ball of a rock. It's just a stone. Anyway, but it's 2,000 years old. And it was used as a weapon. That's what they used to do. They used to all these things.

Where? Where? And you don't want to get hit by. You do not. want to get hit by the catapult uh bolt this was uh belonged to the israel antiquities authority all right so he is feeling like it's you know could be the end of the world and he was feeling remorseful and so he wanted to return his catapult bolt a rock to the authority yeah the circle rock to the authority he said he was you know i was cleaning out the house and i was looking at it and i felt bad this whole time. So I wanted to bring it back. And so he felt so bad. How bad? He felt, I mean, he felt bad. How bad did he feel, Fisher? It was weighing heavily on his heart. And not because it was

Circle Rock. It was just, right. It was really heavy hard. I had a pole. Yeah, it was so bad that he, uh, he went ahead and gave it to somebody else to turn back in because he didn't want to admit that It was him. So he didn't even have the boss to actually return to himself? I see you doing this. I see you doing this. You're like reassessing your life, you know, while you're checking your cards, your football cards. And I was like, oh, crap, this is the one that I stole when I was eight.

Hey, Chris, can you return this to the Hall of Fame? Can you feel really bad? And it's weighing heavily on my heart. But I just don't want to return it in. Can you go and turn it in? I want to return it, but I don't want to admit that it was me. I just want to know that they have it back. Don't say it came from me, though.

You know, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. But can you please return this baseball card to the Hall of Fame? Please. Please. Because it's weighing heavily on my heart. Oh, my gosh. All right.

Well, we did good news. Now let's do a little crime. I mean, it's chewing the fat after all. You know, it's like hump day fat pile. It's what it is Wednesday. It's Hump Day. It's, you know, it's old, old school radio. Hop Day!

Hump Day was not an old school radio thing. I'm sorry. Yeah, it was. Hump Day came because, Mike, my mic. A mic by mic? That's why. The insurance commercial. No.

Yes. Yes. No. I don't mean to correct you. It was reinvigorated to the public. Oh, that's a big word. Thanks to that commercial. Is that a word of the day?

Bill O'Reilly? Is that word of the day? You know what? Yes, it is. What is it? Yes, it is the word of the day, reinvigorated to society. Definition? Thanks to that commercial.

But it was an old school bit. Wow. So anyway, back to crime. A Colorado woman and her daughter arrested after police say, and I think we're seeing this. I feel like these stories keep popping up now. They illegally sold human bodies and body parts from their funeral home. Oh, yeah. I feel like there was a funeral home here in Texas not long ago.

We talked about it. Right here in Tarrant County where we live. So her daughter, Megan and mother Shirley, owners of the Sunset Mesa Funeral Directors. Not anymore. And who do? They were indicted on charges of obtaining and selling body parts, including legs, heads, and spine from their funeral home.

Do we know who they were selling it to? Well, it's funny you ask. Okay. Are you a journalist now? all of a sudden, I mean... Well, I do have my, you know, my handy-dendy legal pad and pen. So like... Some of the body part...

Really? Yeah. Okay, well, keep it handy. Some of the body parts had infectious diseases, and some were mailed across the world. Coronavirus. That's where it started. That's the first thing I thought of.

Coronavirus, right there. For the past few years, we've just... It didn't matter what we were shipping worldwide. and now it does, right? So they apparently gave an incomplete cremated remains to surviving family members for eight years. Wow. I mean, okay, let me ask you a question. Serious question.

All right, now then we'll get back to what they were doing and what they're charged with and everything. But in the middle of this, let's just digress for just a little bit. Let me ask you something. All right. So you have someone. you love pass away horrible you said take it to take it to megan and shirley at the mass funeral home and you say just cremate them and so they ship dear old dad's thigh and spine off to china and they give you a box of dust that says you know that's dad okay now you believe that

that's dad absolutely yes okay so you find out eight years the road that dad on the mantle is really just concrete from the new parking lot at the Mesa funeral home. Does it, are you mad? Does it really, does it really matter? I'll be upset because like, oh man, you know, I'm being here talking to cement. But at the end of the day, I mean, at the end of the day, I'm like, okay, he's not really there.

I'm just, you know, talking to the image of my father. So I could be doing the same thing on a pick. But I'll be, I'll say there. I'll be upset at the beginning. But I'll be like, okay, you know, you got me. And take it from there. Right. I mean, I'm asking that question, knowing the answer is, of course, you're upset.

I know that. I get it. I mean, I have, you know, a couple of urns at the house as we speak. Wait, wait, wait, I helped you move. I helped you moved. Did I touch this urns? No, you did not. Okay, good.

No, you did not. I'll freak the hell out. There's a family member that would barely allow, you're not touching it, I'll tell you that. Can we know the family member? Is this a parent? When someone in this household is upset about something, you're not going to mess with her.

So I don't want to tell you, I don't want to tell your names or anything. But she is not, no, no, she's not, you're not messing with that, man. She's,

that's hers. So, Amber, is her mom? Is it her mom? Don't worry about who is in the urn. I want to know. I want to know who's in the urns.

I just know that again and Shirley didn't have anything to do with the urns in my house. So I'm good. You don't know that. Are you sure about that? Yes. Okay. You actually watch them cremate this person and put it on the urn.

You know what? Yes. No, you did that. No, you did that. In the back of your head, you're like, man, do I need to get this thing? Can you do like a DNA test on ashes? Sure. Probably.

I don't know if the fire probably burns all that crap up though, right? Yeah. And then like, how many blood do you have in there? Like, I'm not. I feel like that's why you get, that's why the criminals, cremate you, right? Because once you're cremated, it's over with. There's no evidence left. Unless you have like a couple of bones and teeth that don't burn, but other than that. I think you're still, good luck, God bless. I don't know that you're getting anything from that.

That's a good question. Maybe anybody can email you with that answer? I mean, that's what the, that's why the criminals, you know, they, you in our detective shows and CSI shows and stuff, they don't want to cremate the body, right? Because you cremated and it's over. the body's cremated. What? They sent it early to be cremated? What are you doing? And then the detective has to get drunk and figure out another way to catch the bad guy.

That's the show. So, yeah, you can't mess with it. So anyway, they were charged with mail fraud, illegal transportation of hazardous materials, and they're out on bail. So they don't worry about it. It would be fine. Well, if you, I'm sorry, but are you saying this as like, they should. should be in jail for like a thousand years. No.

Then why you're upset about this? That they got. That wasn't upset. I just said they were out of bail. No, that attitude was more like, oh, well,

there it is. We're darned. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Like, it was, yes, yes.

It's a horrible crime. And there's, there's a fine line of us trusting the people that burn our loved ones. But, It's a fine line. But it is a big but.

I don't think people should be doing a hard time for sending or selling pieces around the world. Oh, shut up. That's only because you love the mail. That's the only reason why, oh, the mail's not used for that. They use that mail fraud, though. The feds use that mail fraud. And that's how they're getting, Lori, Lori, Lori! You know, that's a big charge for all the, uh, the, uh, operational.

Ration, varsity blues. Oh, so now I see, I see, we're in the bunker and I don't get the, I don't, we don't have access to varsity blues. No, we don't. I see how you are. I see how you are. You know what you need to do for me? What? All right.

Take your little notepad you're so happy with yourself with. Okay. Write yourself a little note. Okay. Get sound effects for the bunker. No, we do have sound effects for the bunker. Get real sound effects. Oh, real sign of it.

Okay, okay, okay. So that, you know, if someone accidentally says Operation Varsity Blues. That's not enough for you? It's episode. Yeah, no, no, it's not. No, it's not. But by the way, it's pretty cool. My wife got me a bunch of pens, and they're like rollerball pens, medium, 0.7 m.

And it's... You come to the camera so we can see what you're talking about. Those of us, you know, those of us watching live. Yeah, look at that. It's pretty cool. And, you know, I get too, right? But the cool thing about these pens is, like, every time. I like write something I leave a pen down like ink blob comes out and I'm like oh that is so cool

you know I don't know I'll tell you this Chris but I have a I have an implement here where I'm at okay that has that has ink in it too uh-huh and I when I hold it down to a piece of paper an ink blotch comes out it's called a pen you know I this is why I hate sharing things with you and this is why you. This is why I hate you. I mean, I know that we're in the the coronavirus bunker. CBQ, baby. Social distancing, but oh, a fresh, ice cold

Coca-Cola zero sugar. Oh my gosh. I don't know if you know this or not, but a nice cold Coke zero. Good. You can quote me on that. By the way, I feel like we need to have t-shirts that says live from the CBQ. I mean, CQB. CQB.

I feel like that. I like it. I feel that's a great t-shirt. Yes, it is. I like it a lot. All right. And just the small. underneath it, you know, the coronavirus bunker.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Email somebody. No, I mean, that's, you came up with it. Write it down with your special pan. I wrote it down.

I look at it right here. Actually, while you do the headlines, I'm going to do a sketch. I'm going to do a sketch. I'm going to do a sketch and then let me know if you like you like you. Okay. So I'll be right back. Do your headlines. COVID-19 quarantine bunker.

So, I mean, let's this thing to be. Let's get on it. Jeez. special pen. Go ahead and use it. All right, so let's do some headlines in the break room. The IRS has postponed taxed filing deadline. Yay!

No, but guess what? You still have to pay. You still have to file. You don't have to pay. What they're doing is if you have to pay, then you can postpone payment until July 15th. But if you still have to file. So if you, as long as you owe the government,

less than $1 million, you still have to file by April 15th, or you could request your extension with Form 4868, but you can delay payment without interest or penalties. So there you go. Good deal. 18% of U.S. households are experiencing layoffs or a reduction in work hours because of the pandemic. 18%. if it's 18%

right now, you can count on it being a whole lot more. I mean, that social distancing and stay home is going to start tallying up.

Amazon, we talked yesterday. It was kind of headlined wrong. Yesterday, it was, you know, the big news

that Amazon's going to stop shipping. Oh, it's all they're doing, it's medical cares. They're just, if you, you can still get stuff.

And, you know, it might take a little bit longer. now, but they're not letting you keep your stuff at their warehouses. That's what they're doing. That's the big move. So if they've got their Amazon stuff at the warehouse is fine. They'll keep that.

They'll ship it to you. They're going to make room for the medical stuff. But if you're selling your paintings that they've been keeping at the Amazon warehouse, Jeff Bezos is like, you know what? We're not going to keep it at the warehouse anymore. You keep it in your garage until we need it. so good luck united auto workers union has asked ford and gm and fiat christler to pause production for two weeks the ua w has asked to pause production of cars for two weeks i don't know of course we still want to get paid

we're still going to get paid but we just we don't want to have to make cars for a couple weeks okay Uber and Lyft have suspended their shared ride options What? Uber and Lyft have suspended their shared ride options So what does that what does that mean? It means so they had the pool Carpool so if you had your option of carpool open on your account

It meant that the driver could stop and pick another person The degree to have a car pull. The way you said what, I thought it was something else other than that. Okay. I was just being me. So but still. Oh no, that's huge because that's usually. So if someone is driving and it's a $16 drive and they're like, oh, I can't afford $16.

But I can't afford $8 because I'm going to split it off. Yep. I'm going to split it up with this person. You know, now you're like, crap. I really now have to pay $16 for this trip instead of the $8 I was used to pay. Right. Especially at cities. I mean, you're looking at going, you know, you want to go down and have dinner somewhere.

By the way, those restaurants are closed now. But you want to go down and have dinner somewhere and you don't want to spend the extra 20, right? Just like you said. So you're going to share it with, oh, yeah, I've shared a car with that guy before. Yeah. He and I go down to Soho all the time. And so we end up, you know, hop on the same lift. You boogie ass going to Soho.

Shut up. Shut up. No one is going to Soho. I'm carfully. That's who I go. That's where you go. That's where you go. Do you use a Lyft or do you use an Uber?

Usually a Lyft. A lift? A lift? Okay. Usually. Yeah. Shift has a little higher-end cars usually. SoftBank. Sad news.

Sad news for WeWork. Because I thought WeWork was all fine. And they made a big deal with SoftBank to get bailed out. Yeah, no, we're going to pull that out. We're not. Yeah, We work is done. We work is like, like, they were on, they were on. life support for a while.

The deal with SoftBank did not come even close to what they needed. They asked for more money and they're like, oh, no, sorry, we're done. Ooh, shouldn't have come back for more. Nope. That means what we're giving you isn't close to being enough. You might as well just pull the plug. In my book, that means that you lied. Because if you're SoftBank, if you're SoftBank, no, Fisher, if you're SoftBank and I am

we work and I'm asking you hey Fisher I need I just need a hundred bucks and you know and we'll be fine we'll be fine you give me the hundred bucks I'm like oh so remember that a hundred dollars I told you I need it now I need a hundred trillion dollars and then we're fine you're lying no I did not lie we we miscalculated oh shut out our miscalculated Who are you? Exactly what we Yeah, we miscalculate. What we did is we forgot the entire

West Coast of America and we need another 80 billion. So, sorry. Can't help you. Wow, I know. I know. Look, it's only going to get uglier. Speaking of that, let's talk about the coronavirus.

I just want you to know. If you're an avid listener to tune in the fact, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And you need to subscribe to chewing the fat. You do. Just pick a platform that warms the little cocktails of your heart and subscribe. And every day we upload a new podcast, Monday through Friday, sometimes on Saturdays.

But you just subscribe. All right, you'll get what we give. You'll be damn happy about it. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's just the way it is. Welcome to 2020. You get what you get.

And you'll be happy with it. And you'll be in. You'll like it. Oh, definitely. You'll definitely chew it up and swallow it. So, I mean, you could spit it out if you want. No, we're not spit. No, I'm sorry.

Our audience does not spit. Our audience is a swallower. So you better take that and swallow it. We don't spit here. And make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel as well, chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. new content coming all the time. I mean, oh my gosh, it's overwhelming the content

that's showing up on that YouTube channel. So, whew, just subscribe and be ready for when it tells you that it's there. New corona cases, 208,582 worldwide. Over 8,000 deaths, 83,000 recovered. And the numbers in the U.S., you know, and this, I told you it was going to happen. It was going to get worse before it gets better. But when you actually see it, it still is like, holy cow, those numbers are jumping fast.

So right now in the USA, we have 7,668 total cases. As of this recording, over 1,200 of those are new cases. And we've got 117 deaths. Wow. And most of those are like in New York and Washington. state. I know. I know there are, you know, some concentrated areas, but that's part of the problem, right? Because we're going to get these concentrated numbers, and then they're going to keep climbing. So hopefully what happens is with this, you know, social distancing, and we talk about it all the time,

but we really do the flattening of the curve, right? We're going to get this, the big numbers on the coasts where we already have, you know, intent outbreaks. And then with the social distancing, and all of us being self-quarantined, you know, and I do that in parentheses, those of you watching live, I do that in parentheses because I don't really know that we're self-quarantining. We're pretty much being told to stay inside

and stay away from people. So I don't know how the business are going to do it. I don't know how they're going to survive. You bogging me down with facts. That's what you're doing right now. I don't know how they're going to survive. I was reading, I talked a little bit of this morning, I chew in the fat segment, I'm Pat Unleashed.

It talked New York City shutting down the school system, all right? The country's largest. Now, schools all over the country are shutting down, and they should, right? However, how are you going to pay? I mean, look, we talk about who feeds them, what happens. It says here that obviously they're going to provide supervision, and I say obviously because I don't know what else you do. I're going to provide supervision for the children of medical workers,

first responders, and transit workers. I mean... Which it makes sense. It does accept why do we need transit workers? We shouldn't be transiting. I know it's New York and we live on the subways but now's a good time to clean them off. And are they cleaning them off? Maybe that's what you're going to have the workers do.

Yeah, you start disinfecting everything. everything? Yeah. We're not going to run. Which is good because they're going to find all that poop and pee, right? Yeah. So, but get this, this number is just incredible to me in New York alone. 750,000 public school students are considered low income. Unbelievable. 114,000 are homeless. Wow.

Wow. And this is in New York alone, correct? Correct. 20% have special needs. 20% of the 750 or the 114? It doesn't say. And I don't know if the 114 homeless are in the low income. They probably are. Well, yeah, if you're homeless, you don't.

You're not. You're not. I don't think so, though. I think those are three separate stats. No way. I'm sorry. No way. 750,000 low income.

Okay. You've got 14,000 that are homeless. Okay. I mean, you're homeless, which is also low income, but not just low income. And 20% of all the students have special needs, which now it's got to be the 750,000, right? That's got to be the total. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think, yeah. Yeah. Because, like, man, there's no way. I am so sorry if you're homeless and you live in a rich lifestyle. But there's no way that a homeless. person is above the poverty line. Oh, yeah, no. Only the rich homeless that are staying at the airports.

Exactly. Close homeless. If you're homeless living at the airport, I can understand how you're making sure how you're so disappointed in the stock market right now. And this show, you know, this show introduced a brand new, you know, rich homeless people, you know, we introduced that new term because they were living in, in car garages that could be sold for like, you know, $50,000. and the rich homeless people, you know, are there.

But other than that, other than that new term of rich homeless people, I don't think your average homeless person is living above the poverty line. Now, according to this, New York is now trying to get with Apple. And it says in the story, to purchase. Okay. Oh, okay. They want 300,000 iPads for what? For students.

For what? For what? For what? For students? To do what? To do what? I'd like to know, first of all, I don't know. Maybe New York doesn't know where those iPads are being made, but I'm pretty sure they're

being made in. Yeah. No, I'm good. I don't need that iPads. Is that a fresh brand new thing from China? No, no, students do not need iPads. The good old fashion, you know, no pad. with some pencils.

Everybody doesn't have the capability to have an actual utensil that has ink in it and you put it down on a piece of paper and then the ink goes on the paper. I'm sorry. Just go to any church to have them by the thousands.

So, according to this, okay. All right? When children lack internet connectivity which that's the homework gap. And it disproportionately affects black, Hispanic, and lower income families.

I want to put that to the test right now for facts. 35%. I know, 35% of U.S. households. Okay. With students ages 6 to 17. Uh-huh. With an annual income of $30,000. Okay.

Do not have high-speed connections. Are they still on the AOL? E! they're on the dial-up so I don't know I don't know okay for sure in this program you have a Hispanic in your show

which is me and I just want to I will check that box I do check that box and right now I'm currently currently as we speak I have 25 download and 5

upload you, Fisher that live down the street about 20 minutes away from me you're running on a 150 100 uploaded 50 download there's no

I look I'm not a student age 6 or 17 neither am I but like stop it stop it stop it you don't need internet to teach your kids it's called a book Wow. It's called a book or a library before they bring them down.

Can't go to the library. Social distancing. You can still go to the library. Stop it. You can still go to the library. You just can't gather there. So grab your books, bring them back to the house. Oh, I want those books hosed off before they take them out of the library.

And actually, someone did send me. I want them hosed off before they leave the library. And I want them hosed off when they come back. So funny you say that because. Yeah, we got to put the library, library, uh, car washes, man, bookwashes. Yesterday I put a tweet of, it says, no cheating. Brighton my day with the fourth picture in your camera roll.

Don't cheat, right? And I'm looking at everybody sending me their fourth picture of their camera roll. No, my not appropriate. It's it for one. And I was curious. I'm like, why do you have this bottle of disinfectant on your camera roll? And this person tells me, zoom in where it says it kills this. in 30 seconds.

So I zoom in and right there in the middle, it says, human coronavirus. It kills it in 30 seconds. And I'm like, what were you doing with that? And this person goes, and I quote, I got two packages in the mail today and I quarantined them in the laundry room and hose them down with Lysol. Right.

Good. Good. So I never play those games. So let's, we'll do that in the podcast. We'll play that. Plus, I want to talk about, I want to, we'll talk about more of what President Trump has called the invisible enemy. COVID-19. I'm sure you're going to be seeing that last for us.

It's an invisible enemy. So count on that. And also, Dr. Oz has come out and says, have sex. Dr. Oz. Hey, why don't you? have sex during this time of quarantine. Apparently, Dr. Oz follows me on Twitter. Because last week, I tweeted, here's the tweet,

just a thought, no sports on tea the next few weeks, nine to ten months from now, we'll have household self-quarantined babies. Names of the first twins, COVID and Corona. You know, you're going to be proud. The proud mother and father of the COVID-19 baby, the very first one. We don't quarantine way back in the 1st of March. And now we've got little baby COVID.

And look at my neighbor has little baby Corona. They're going to grow up together. It's going to be wonderful. We do have some good news on the coronavirus, invisible enemy. front as well. And it has to do with food. So you need to subscribe to chewing the fat.

Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com slash podcasts. Okay. So there's still you know what? I love doing this show. I really do. I could sit here and just talk all day.

If we just leave it open and just talk all day, I'm going to start doing some YouTube lives. I was going to say, I don't have time for you to be doing this every 24-7. I don't have time. I mean, I could go on for other. I feel like every day I've cut short. I feel like you're cutting me short.

I am cutting you short, yes, because I have other things to do than to sit here. But my point is, because I feel like I'm, I feel like I could just go on and on and on and on. Oh, I know. Trust me, I've seen you go on and on and on and on. your window for a podcast is maximum 45 minutes. We've done hours, an hour and 20 minutes. You never meet the 45 minute mark. So, you know, there's so many stories out there now

and so many wrapped around this coronavirus and we're all kind of freaking out about it a little bit. I'm going to give you something a little helpful hint, all right, before the end of this podcast today. Right now I'm going to give you the good news, I teased, an L.A. Taco Spot, and I think this is going to be happening all over America, not only in Los Angeles, soon. They are selling emergency taco kits, complete with four toilet paper rolls and 30 eggs.

So good for them. Good for them. Soon you're going to be able to get that stuff for free, though. I'm still pissed that they're selling it. You know, forget, how dare a business try to make any money? How dare a person try to make any money in times when we're facing an invisible enemy? How dare you? When the government could just pay for everything.

Wow. I am so sick of hearing that. So we have stories about sex workers really struggling right now. Right. Because nobody's out of the street. Nobody's out of the street. And no one's going to the strip clubs. I know.

Wait, wait, stop. It's not for just a second there. I don't necessarily like the idea of you equating strip clubs with, well, I guess they are sex workers. Thank you. All right. But when I'm thinking of sex workers, I'm thinking of, you know, prostitutes. Okay, old man. Okay, old man.

And I'm back in my day, I'll jump in my car. car, my Cadillac, and go to the corner, and I hunk twice. When my cigarette, and then she comes out, I'm like,

hey, are you a full lady? Okay, come on in. I'll be clear. I never asked that. I never asked that or you're a full lady

because, you know, it didn't matter. Once you're there, you're at star. Hey, do you come with, toys?

Do you come with party favors? Get in. Get it. Hold on. I don't have no power steering in this car, so I got to really take that you turn. So we have the one porn star, now speaking of sex workers, the Russian point star, Lola Taylor. What does she do?

She is offering to have free sex with the first scientist that comes up with a cure for coronavirus. Jeffrey, did I tell that I just finished my PhD in Scientology? and I became a scientist overnight and I think I think I have the cure I have it it's not on you know human trials but I think I cured it I'm pretty sure you could probably Lola would probably be okay and then here's my work if everybody watching life at home here's my work here's my equation and I solved for zero and zero meaning coronavirus I think I got it I think I got it. I mean, good, right? Good. Congratulations. So how do I contact her? Just DM, Lola. You'd be fine. D.M. Lola, where?

On her Twitter account. What is her Twitter account? I'm about to do it. Oh, so much work. You know who brought up this idea. Hey, Lola. What's your Twitter account? Hold on. They got the picture from Twitter, Lola, and they have her comment. They're not going to give me her. And I apologize. This was for the gram. Oh, this is for the gram. Okay, here we go.

Let me open up my other social media. Oh. Okay, I'm here. I may have become a scientist as well. All right. What's her at? At Lola the scientist? Yeah, you can try Lola.

Lola. Isn't that the song? Lola Taylor. Lola Taylor. L-O-L-A Taylor T-A-Y-L-O-R L-A-L-A-L-A-L-R

Lola Taylor No, I'm good, I'm not a scientist Wow I'm not a scientist Sorry Did I tell us a scientist I mean I'm a Scientologist I just converted to Scientologists

So I'm a Scientologist Sorry You just converted to Scientologyism Yeah I didn't realize Scientologyism a jism was a thing, but

apparently it is. I want to I normally of late have been kind of against Harry and Megan just a quick royal story. You know, and then they've just kind of, you know, they've, I wasn't

too happy with them breaking up with the royal family. The crown. And they're just, it's just bugging me. Okay, but I want to say that I'm on their side with this story. Uh-oh. that's rare.

Megan has demanded that staffers wear latex gloves and follow a strict hygiene protocol. And what are you supposed to do with your staff? Just let them higgly-piggly wait on you in a time of

the visible enemy? Yes. Is out there? Yes. Yes. No. They've got the new baby to worry about. They've been out traveling the world, bringing the invisible enemy back home. Just in Canada, though. You can't have the staff.

Just in Canada. You can't have the staff just wandering around without any gloves on. Get to work. Put the gloves on. Get this place clean. Try to make it a bad thing. She demands staffers wearing latex gloves. I mean, I understand it.

I'm sorry. Who among us doesn't have staff that I know frown upon wearing latex gloves But in this time of need Wear latex gloves That's why, you know Can you finish that sentence? No, I don't know.

Because I don't know. I do not know, please. What do I know? What do I need to know? Not even on this podcast. I could have to say. No? So leave it there.

Okay. By the way, I got an email. from one of our listeners. Oh, nice. I believe his name is... I'm sorry? I don't go ahead. Okay.

I'm waiting for you to tell me his name. His name is J.A. I love J.A. Jay A. The truck stop, J.A. And he says, I just got the call that a co-worker has

the bug. Now I have to stay home for two weeks. From Jeffie's home state of, Michigan. throws a high five in there. I show you know he throws his a hand, showing me Michigan. Yeah.

I get it. And then at the bottom it says, I don't think any of us will die. And it puts the little, you know, question mark like, oh, I don't think of a better at that. Certainly hope not. And then I asked a question because I was curious.

I was like, so what kind of job do you do? He replied back. Right. I'm a toolmaker, so I can't work from home. Why not? I don't understand that.

Like, you can't make tools at home? I mean, I'll tell you what. We'll drop off, we'll drop off some stuff. And I want you to make 50 screwdrivers a day. Right. Like you're going to handle that? Right. My boss is home for two weeks also.

He's looking into... I make the tool die handles that grip the pliers and we use machine number. I got it. Don't worry about it. My boss is home also for two weeks. He's looking into if we're going to get paid right away. I thought this might be a little material for the live show. Hashtag CTF.

Hashtag the fat pile. Now, I love JA. I love them because at the bottom, it says, sent from my iPhone. I love it. I love that our listeners are iPhone users. That doesn't, but he didn't say that. That's Apple intruding on our privacy. Absolutely.

And saying this guy is an iPhone user, so please read his messages because he know what's up. That's what that tells me. Do you know what it says between the lines? Yes, yes. And by the way, Jay, I hope you do get paid, you know, because it will suck to be home for two weeks and not getting paid. Look, we're, I don't know how we're going to survive. I know you yesterday freaking busted my bubble

we don't have enough money so what we don't how we're going to do it how we're going to do it we don't got enough money and your money rounds out how are we going to do it shut up

but let's think about now that's the problem now is going to go away awful fast I am not I am not a financial guy please do not take any of my financial advice

I'm a bump you're a bum can I quote you on you'll ever be is a bum. But name that movie, by the way. Something old from the 80s, probably. Old lady in the back of a taxi. You're a bum.

That's all you'll ever be is a bum. If you know the answer to that, email, Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com. And if you have the correct answer, the first person to email me at Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com with the correct answer, well, we'll win a brand new.

Thanks for. listening to Chewing the Fats. That's what you're going to win. Come on down. You went a little sound effect. Keeps.com. Are you tired of those in your hands? I don't have any keeps to give you either. So you're going to win. I'll give you something. I don't know what it is. We can't do it. We can't ship anything. All the warehouses are closed. Oh, gosh darn it. We're going to give them something.

What are you going to give them? I don't know. A shout out on the podcast. I don't know what we're going to give them. We're going to give them something. We're going to give them a follow on Instagram. Ooh. No? Oh.

Oh, my God. Oh, you have to click it. Don't start just giving away follows on my gram, bro. I said, all right. You're not even worth a follow. I didn't say that. That's what you literally said.

No. I did not say that. What did you say? Don't be higgly-pigley giving away follows on my. Graham. You only give him one follow away, bro. Like, there's only one. Just follow him and mute him.

And you're not even going to who it is. Tell you what, the first person who answers that question correctly emails me to the fan of the blaze.com. I'll follow you on Instagram. Wow. You're not even Twitter worthy. He barely checks his Instagram. That's not true.

Okay. That's not true at all. Okay. That's not true. You did your stupid four picture thing. I mean, I post stuff on Instagram every day. I did that thing on Twitter. I didn't do it on Instagram.

Boy, I wish I'd follow you on Twitter. I don't know. So it's the fourth picture. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's do that. Yeah. And is it a picture?

Now, does it something that I had to have taken? No. Or is it screenshots? It does not matter. I have thousands of screenshots that I take every day. You open your photo folder and you count one, two, three, three, four. Is it the camera folder or the screenshot folder or the download folder? folder or the video folder or the Instagram folder.

Why in the world do you have so many folders, first of all? Because this is BS Android. Get your life together. I like that. No, put everything in one folder and you're fine. See, this is why Android sucks. No wonder iPhone people were the only one that answered me back. I could make it into all the images is one thing.

Okay, can you do that? Can you do that? Can you please put them all in one folder? Don't huff and puff like a little kid. All right. There you go. Okay, now count one, two, three, four. That's a picture.

That's a picture I want. What is it? Show me. Don't cheat. Do not cheat, Fisher. But you're going to want me to cheat after I tell you what it is. It's just a screenshot. Of what?

Story. Oh, that was mine too. Mine was a screenshot of. There was a story. that I found on Twitter that had four pages and I don't know that it's true so I screenshotted this

each page and I'm going to go back and read it and see Yeah mine was a screenshot mine was a screenshot it was a screenshot from a story President Trump says drive-thrues will remain open amid coronavirus I mean that

I want to go back out later tonight or whatever I'll go back through these and read and see if I find it is true but it does bring up a good point So I will give you this, my last screenshot, which was just before starting to record chewing the fat today. And it's kind of sad news, but it has to do with coronavirus. The Eurovision Song Contest, an official statement from the European Broadcasting Union on Eurovision Song Contest, 2020, it has been canceled. I know. I know.

No, it's okay, baby. It's okay. Don't cry. It's with deep regret that we have to announce that the cancellation of the Eurovision Song Contest 2020 in Rotterdam. It's okay, baby. Whatever.

Wait, why whatever? This is big deal. Whatever. We're not going to be able to go to Rotterdam. Whatever. Go ahead. Delete the old Eurovision Song Contest. Screenshot.

That one's over. One last thing before we go today is that, you know, in the email from JA where he talked about getting the news, you know, on someone that he worked with with the bug, I mean, we're all waiting to hear that news now, right? I mean, I'm ahead of the curve. I'm already broadcasting from home. They already kicked me out of the building. But, I mean, every business is waiting to get the word now, right?

is that, you know, Marge worked back at the, you know, makeup counter at the beauty R Us out at the strip mall. And she tested positive for COVID-19. And you're going to have to shut the whole damn strip mall down. Everybody's going home, right? I mean, we're all waiting for that hammer to drop. And it's not fun. And I don't know.

It certainly, you can quote me on that. It is not fun to be waiting for that hammer to drop. I didn't even get to the story about the chick, and I say that with all the love it deserves, the chick, that started the coronavirus challenge that is, you know, linking the toilet seat of an airplane. And she says she's not sorry. It says Darwinism is doing its job by knocking out boomers.

And if you want to waste a few, minutes you can go watch a video by her and if you like me were just enthralled with her genius then you can understand why her coronavirus challenge is such a cool thing she finally got something to go viral that's what life is about on the gram baby