Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 336 | Fat Pile Friday - Social Distancing Sexy Pick-Up Lines EDITION | Guest: Daren Bakst

Episode Date: March 27, 2020

Day 15 inside the CQB and the fat pile is YUGE! Dont worry Jeffy is here to give you the headlines, but things goes sideways because of earth hour and Elton John special concert on iheart radio and FOX. Also special guest Daren Bakst, Agricultural Economics Expert, and Senior Fellow at Heritage Foundation is available to discuss the Trump Administration’s long-awaited adjustment to the WOTUS Rule, designed to make the Clean Water Act more efficient and less intrusive in people’s lives. The EPA rolled out the new rule late last week. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And now, a Blaze Media podcast. It is a Blaze Media podcast. And oh my gosh, it is Chewing the Fat with yours truly, Jeff Fisher. Welcome to the broadcast. It is live from the COVID-19 quarantine bunker. And if you haven't left your home in a few days because of the shelter-in-place orders, tomorrow morning, get yourself a cup of coffee. grab your keys, go start your car before the battery dies, and just drink your coffee in the car

and help your battery recharge. This has been another chewing the fat, helpful reminder moment during this coronavirus pandemic lockdown. You're welcome. I know it's Fat Pau Friday, and it is going to be Fat Pile Headline Friday. I was going through. It's just an incredible. the amount of news we have for you today.

But just a reminder, tomorrow, if you're listening live to this podcast on Friday, the 27th of March of 2020, tomorrow, this 28th, the WWFs, not the wrestling, but the wildlife.

Earth hour happens. Did it shut all your lights off at 8.30, your time. So 8.30 p.m., you're a little time shut them down go dark that's part of the earth hour is to raise awareness for climate change yes uh chris at the back with your hand up um what if you already green by having solar panels and solar batteries

at 8.30 p.m your local time shut all your lights off and go dark i didn't i don't know how much of clearer i could be yeah but i'm already not using power from my grid so do I need to raising awareness for climate change I'm aware I'm aware of the climate change so I decided to go solar not really for that reason but like I decided to go solar so do I still need to participate even though I have solar panels if I drive by your house between 830 and 930 tomorrow and there's a light on I am calling the WWF police I think it is an hour too right you're supposed to shut up down for an hour hour yeah yeah oh so does that mean that you have to shut off your AC for one hour that's not

gonna happen oh well then i'm gonna call the w w but it is but it doesn't say it no wait stop for just a second there mr it's turned your lights off go dark yeah but if it i've i i'm pretty i could call myself an expert when it comes to kilowatts usage when it comes to what appliances uses the most. You call yourself an expert on anything you want. That doesn't make it so. But go ahead. Like I said, I am a kilowatt expert.

And my AC grabs about 4.7 to 4.9 kilowatts every time is on. Don't even use the stupid thing. And my light is like 0.01.02. kilowatts. So I feel that if anybody's going to go dark, you have to go fully dark. That means you shot everything off. Let's go to the breakers and shut it down.

And just shut it down. I'm okay with that, and I'm sure the WWF people are well. I mean, they are happy about it. They will applaud you by doing that. But this particular event, Earth Hour, is just to go dark for an hour. Now, we have Ozark, just stop. Don't even come back to me with your little, oh, it's not the real thing.

Look, I'll go dark for an hour. I'll put a blanket over myself and the TV so I can continue to watch Ozark. As we have Ozark dropping today on Netflix, season three, excited about that. We already told you that you can get your, 30-day free CBS All Access with the offer code gift. I hate you. I hate you so much because I've not gone to sleep since Wednesday night. So you got it.

I got it. I got it until the end. It's like Sunday night. So because I got Ozark this weekend. And I say that. I say that. And then tonight after about three or four episodes into Ozark, I'm going to go, you know,

CBS Alexis is, you know, three days. Yeah, I get that. Just put them up back and forth. Yeah, exactly. So that's what I've been doing. So like, so we probably talked about this. So I'm sorry, I'm going to bring those things. Like CBS decided to pull everything from everywhere.

You can't get anything. And then Jeffrey taught you a trick on how to, if you still have cable, how to get, you know, all that CBS access on your cable box. But I thought most of the shows that were pulled from Hulu, I thought they were canceled. So I was like, okay, fine, no, that's TV life. But then when I opened up my CBS All-axis, John Sheldon is there, SWAT is there,

interrogation is there. They've got Picard and they've got the other new Dingleberry show. Integration, yeah. What is it? Integrations, like, interrogation. Yeah, interrogation. Yeah. So, like, I've been going, oh, and the neighbor with Cedriced entertainer.

and Schmidt from New Girl, dude, I go back and forth. So right now I'm on a bench of John Sheldon. Then I go back to The Neighbor. Then I go back to Swat. You haven't even touched Picard yet, have you? No, no, but I'm going to leave Picard because I feel that by the time I get to Picard, I don't have anything to go back and forth. And I'm just going to go Picard full on.

Yeah, because the season finale aired last night. Yeah. So they're all up now. So I'm just going to go and go full Picard. without no interruptments from other TV shows that are just burning a hole on my Apple TV right now. And they already said that season two has been re-uped for Picard. Obviously, they're waiting to get past the coronavirus lockdown.

But we can't shoot any new shows. Heaven forbid. Can't even finish seasons on AMC. But not funny how CBS All Access did it. Hold on what happened to AMC? I'm sorry? What happened to AMC? they just don't know how to

you know wrap up episodes for shows it's all they have some programming issues you know programming issue I mean I'm sure they're all still got their jobs because it was you know how could you see it coming I mean other networks did but how could AMC see it coming

It's not like it was a pandemic agonizing So we also have John's big benefit concert Sunday night Nice Who's carrying that Right

Who's carrying that? Fox and I Heart Radio. Nice. Okay. I know, and it's 9 to 10 Eastern. So those of us that will be watching the episode of Walking Dead, just DVR it. That's the way just to go. So I'm not going to be Elton, I love you, but Dead's on at the same time.

So I'm pretty sure that Elton will win that time slot this week. Well, there's nothing else. To be honest, there's nothing else. That's what I'm saying. It's up against Walking Dead. Wouldn't you say there's nothing? The company I can get their season finale correct. Yeah.

I know. Okay. I know. I know. But it's also going to be on IHeart Radio. You know, and there, and you can stream it for free on the I Heart Radio app. Oh my gosh. That's the same app that you can get chewing the fat on.

So when you're done listening to Ellen, you can just go and listen to Chewing the Fat and subscribe there too. But it's going to be for the... What is it? the special thing that they're broadcast, that they're providing for, that they're raising money for, gosh darn it. It's for, it's the living room concert and it's feeding America and the first responders children's foundation. So I am not, these two charities helping those impacted by the coronavirus, feeding America and the first responders children foundation. So from 9 to 10, you get the special

a special concert living room concert for America Alicia Keys Billy Ilish Backstreet Boys Tim McGraw Billy Joe Armstrong

Marya Carey Elton John this is what I'm excited about and more so I cannot wait oh man wait wait

this is the whole thing I am fired up the whole thing it's not just the cut all right that's great Now, he's probably not going to do that song because he's going to want to sing his stupid new songs. What? No, he can do that. All he's going to do is sing his Rocket Man songs. Guaranteed.

So, don't even just go back and listen to your old Delta music and be happy. It's what's going to happen? Also, we had news starting the 30th, which is Monday. Those of you that are Costco members, the hours are going to be coming. cut. I hate to break it to you. I know. I don't. I'm not Costco. Give me the look. I'm just telling you that they're going to the stores and the gas stations closing early Monday through Friday for the Costco stores. However, I don't know why, but the weekends, we'll just leave those regular hours. Well, that's because of that power. That's because they don't

have that many people to work Monday to Friday and no one's going to come out through Monday to Friday, everybody's leaving their stuff for like Saturday and Sunday. Nobody's working. Yeah, yeah. It's not the weekend rush anymore. You know, it's just going to cut out. But do they say what hours are we cutting? Are we opening like at nine closing at two?

Stores will close at 6.30 p.m. Monday through Friday. The gas stations are going to stay open until seven. It's nice of them. 30 minutes. Yeah. Well, if somebody finishes shopping at 630, they still want to be able to get gas.

Oh, okay. We'll leave it open for another 30 minutes. I never understood why you close down a gas station. Just leave the pump on. Credit card only. Yeah, but then you got to have somebody there monitoring them at all time. Monitoring what? Yeah, you've got to have the guy in the back,

just in the back room sitting there making sure that. What happens if somebody pulls up and doesn't know how to put the nozzle in their gas tank? Or then you don't get gas. And you don't get gas. Yeah, no. You have need help. You need to help her there. And you got to make sure the co-the hoses are correct and the trash canons are coordinated.

You got to have somebody there monitoring at all times. And then there's water at that squeegee thing? You know what? I've been a little low on those bad boys. Do you use them? Do you use them? Yeah, sometimes. I used to use them all the time when I used to use them all the time when I used to use them.

I could walk away from pumping gas on my car, but I have an issue with my gas tank now. And apparently it's a Volkswagen bug issue. That's why I drive as a Volkswagen bug, is that there's something that's wrong with the intake. Okay. So if you just put the nozzle in and then, you know, walk away. Full bore, full bore and, you know, hook it up and, you know, walk around and wash your windows. and stuff.

Mine won't do that. It reads like it's full and it'll it'll gore- and it overflows and it's a gas everywhere. So you've got to kind of stand there

half, you know, you've got to kind of get that handle just right. Okay. And it takes just a little bit longer, like forever to put gas in. Ouch.

And some gas stations, That's why I only go to, I know the two that work really good, that I'm able to control the, the key. Because some of the newer gas stations, man, you can't, it's tough. It's tough to get it just right to pump slow, slow enough. And so it just takes, I mean, you end up just putting in like three or four and going to another gas station. He's just done. So is that how you handle your pump? Yes.

you have to think way ahead, man. There's not, I'll just go to the gas station. No, no, no, no, no. You got to go to the special ones with the special pumps. Now, apparently, that's an issue with the Volkswagen bug. There's some kind of thing in the gas tank that's the thing and the thing. The guy said, you know, we can take a look at it, but it's probably this. and that means we're going to have to drop the tank and do this and do that.

And I'm like, you know what? I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, that's why you have a car shield, right? Right. Right. Why didn't I think of that? Gosh, darn it.

I'm going to have to go back and run that through Car Shield. It is Fat Pile Friday. And so we've got to get to the fat pile today. There is a plethora of fat in the pile today. You can quote me on that. that if you'd like. There is a plethora of fat in the fat pile today on chewing the fat. But we do want to tell you that it is time that perhaps we can go to space because the satellite did launch in the window yesterday. And for those who they were listening,

we know that I will say that it could be, I know applause, but I want to give them congratulations and pat him on the back and say, yes, good job. But in the second, there was still a window. Right. It wasn't, it wasn't just like we're going to launch a satellite in the space on Thursday at 2 p.m. It was, we're going to attempt to launch the satellite on Thursday between 2 and 4 p.m. If the winds are not blowing completely to the left and a bird doesn't fly by. I was listening to our conversation about that because I was bored.

So I'm in the bathroom and a brush of my teeth listen to the conversation and then I just for a minute I'm like dude the space program we put all of our hope in the space program you know the race to Mars

the race to the moon abort abort abort we had a pigeon land on the tip and the winds are two miles per hour too fast and the sun is tilting to the left and the water possible cold front pushing through we've got shut it down and the water's in

low tie and that crab over there gave me the stink eye what and i don't get my coffee no i know shoot that damn rocket let it go to space and it maybe comes back anyway congratulations for launching the satellite record the first satellite from the space force uh there's only i was looking at this i And I think it's actually more. But I was trying to find the exact number of satellites. 18. Yep. How did you guess?

I don't know. How did you guess? It felt correctly. Right. It's 18 plus 4,9669. Wow. Is that just from us or is that? 4,9669 plus 18 is how many satellites are orbiting the planet right now.

Okay. That's from any country. that has the privilege to send stuff up there, right? Well, no, no, that's just from Zimbabwe. And Zimbabwe has 4,987 satellites orbiting the globe. We haven't completely calculated how many of the main world leader countries are put up satellites. Yes, the whole world? I'm just asking.

You're the one with the facts over there. God. I'm just being curious and participating because I was like, wow, that's a lot. I wonder if that's the whole world or is that just us? Just Swaziland? No, no, it's not. Careful there with Swaziland. Have you seen the pictures that the ambassador keeps sending us on Twitter?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. They're buying stuff before. It was like nothing now. They're buying everything. I know. Everybody's worried. Everybody's concerned.

We got the world on alert. Simboab. No, not Simbaugh. Where is this ambassador? Swaziland. Calm down, Swaziland. The corner of our. start touching you. You'll be okay.

There's nothing to take from Swaziland. You've got 4,969 satellites orbiting the globe. You'll be fine. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. So please, subscribe to chewing the fat. It's very easy. Just go to the blaze.com slash podcasts

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but you're a loser also it may be time for you to think about subscribing to Blaze TV you know my podcast is free you're welcome I give and I give and I give well free for now

but yes thank you it is free for now and I can't promise you that it's going to be free tomorrow so subscribe today I can probably promise that it's going to be free tomorrow I can't promise that it's going to be free Monday

no Monday is the end of March Tuesday April 1st you know what I can't I can promise you that it's going to be free until April 1st we get it we get it we get it it's time to move on bro but it is time it is time that you subscribe to Blaze TV

now is the time 30 bucks off right now. Just go to the blazedtivy.com slash jeffy, J-E-F-F-F-Y. 30 bucks off. You're welcome. I mean, again,

I give and I give and I give. And what's the website again? Well, I just go to the blazTV.com. Okay. Why are you? No, because before you said, what did I say wrong? Yeah, you said the blazstiv.com.

All right, hold on. You can end. Now, hold on. If I go to www. Well, you go to ATP. Blazed. BlazTV.com. Yeah, but you say the.

Jeffie. Right. Slash Jeffey. And it takes you right to get the Blaz TV. It takes you right there. BlazTV.com slash jeffy. It takes you right there for the 30 bucks off. There you go.

Good job. You are killing me. Okay, the headlines. I mean, I've got a plethora of headlines. Plus, I've got a great, such a great story about dating in the coronavirus days. What are you, New York City again? Yes. Yes, I am.

And we're going to go over a few of more of the New York City sex guide tips. We are? And then, oh, yeah. And then we're going to go. And then we're going to go over some special. social distancing pickup lines which are tremendous. They are tremendous.

I don't know who wrote them. And if you're the person who wrote them, email me chewing the fat at the blaze.com, I'll give you all the love in the world because they are fantastic. And these sexy pickup lines revolve around COVID-19, Wuhan virus and coronavirus, right? That's correct.

Yes, baby. That's correct. I could not. I've been laughing since last, I got these last night. We can't start now? I've been, we could.

I think we should. But I've got the fat pile. The fat pile is not going anywhere, trust me. Fat piles have been sitting there for 15 days now since you can't leave that room. So the fat pie is not going anywhere. Okay. We'll do this.

We'll start with the NYC sex guide, all right, because I went back through the two-page PDF of the New York City Sex Guide, and they have some tips for how to enjoy sex and to avoid spreading COVID-19. They remind you to have sex with people close to you. Now, the next safest partner is someone you live with, having close contact in. including sex, with only a small circle of people, helps prevent spreading COVID-19. Just remember that. Only a small circle of people.

Now, you should avoid close contact, including sex, with anyone outside your household. If you do have... Hello? If you... If you do... Come in. if you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible.

This all is from the NYC sex guide. Also, they felt the need, come in, my gosh. They also felt they needed to put this in the guide. If you start to feel unwell, you may be about to develop symptoms of COVID-19, which include fever, cough, sore throat, or shortness of breath.

Skip sex is specially kissing. So those are some powerful tips from the NYC sex guide right there. Powerful. Well, that's NYC COVID-19 sex guide. That's not like a sex guide that they just published because it's March 27. I'm sure they probably have that as well,

but this is the COVID-19. NYC C-SX got here. But I now have these social distancing pickup lines. Again, if you wrote these, I love you. I don't know who wrote them. I don't know who came up with them,

but they are tremendous. So I need some I need some pickup line music. What I need. You know, the sexy music. It's plain. Did you not hear it? No, that's correct.

What you have to do is you have to pot it up, even on your little board. That means that I get hear it. He pot it up the way it works. Inside baseball. Do you want to start all over again? You know, a fader.

They slide up and down. Up is where the audio gets louder. We'll start all over again because somehow I was listening. The audience heard it and you obviously did not hear it. Well then other than the fader, what you could do is push a programming

button on the top which feeds my headphones. and this feed so that I can hear it. Now I know I'm not in the mood. I've got to get back in the mood again. Let me get a drink. Hold on.

Call the wife. I don't know who I can't get you into mood. Okay. Social distancing pickup lines. You know, if COVID-19 doesn't take you out, can I? Oh yeah. Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within six feet of me? Oh yeah. Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead. Oh yeah, baby. You can't spell virus without you and I. Oh, yeah. Baby, do you need a virus? Do you need a lot of you?

toilet paper because I could be your Prince Charmin. Oh yeah. Social distancing pickup lines. I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. Oh yeah, baby. Come on. Without you in my life,

my life is empty as a supermarket shell. Or Venezuela. Don't bring your Spanish stuff in. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't bring your people in. Not inside the social distancing pickup lines. Hey, babe. Can I ship you a drink?

You know, you can't spell quarantine without you are a QT. That's a good one. I like that. That's my favorite. That's my favorite. And this one, okay, we can't have the sexy music. I wish we should actually try to find our baby it's cold outside music because I don't even know if you have it anymore

but we did our rendition of Baby It's Cold Outside and the last two are from Baby It's Cold Outside Okay when we did our Baby It's Cold Outside rendition And you can go back and find the podcast around Christmas It was our special cold outside release And you know it was a hit every holiday it's like one of the biggest hits in America is the Chris Cruz, Jeff Fisher, Baby It's Cold Outside Rendition.

And we were the two characters in the song, Chris and I, and we went back and forth, just like, you know, the other renditions of the song. We did the original lyrics. But here at the end of the social distancing pickup lines, they have the baby it's cold outside COVID-19 edition so I'll just do it give me a little cold outside music

I'll just do it and then we'll just do it together like we did it I really can't stay baby it's COVID-19 outside yeah come on come on baby so

I really can't stay baby it's COVID-19 outside I really can't stay baby it's COVID now I can't take it again take I can't work like this this what happens in the studio

okay this is why it takes an entertainer so long I don't know the lines I really can't stay what do you mean you don't know the lines I really can't stay. Maybe it's COVID-19 outside. Okay, okay, here we go.

Here we go. You need to write it down. Nothing, I got it. I think I got it. I think I got it. I really can't stay. Yeah, I really can't stay. Maybe it's COVID-19 outside.

Yeah, that's it. I got it. I got it. Baby I can't stay. It's COVID-19 outside. We're going to get into the coronavirus fat pile headline Friday here on Fat Pile Friday, but I want to be clear about something that you heard first here on chewing the fat. We talked about dogs and roaming dogs and what we were going to have to do,

and I told you about Fluffy. In the last couple days, we were concerned New York City. People are adopting dogs because it's that time and they want to have their comfort animal. But I'm telling you, when it comes down to it, Fluffy is going to be left out of the streets. and people are going to be left to fend for themselves with packs of wild animals around. What's the story I see yesterday? Mountain lions prowl the streets of Boulder

due to social distancing. As humans are staying indoors and having less contact with wildlife, officials are unsure of what this means for animals that are getting used to this new routine. I can tell you what it means in my name. neighborhood. Yes.

I might get a little bit closer than the far away shot, but you're going to start hearing shots like that in the neighborhood if animals are running crazy. I'll tell you that. Maybe it's just me, but the neighbor is not as close as they normally are. Man, calm down,

all right? They're shooting all over the neighborhood. Holy cow. I'm telling you, be careful out there. And animals are, it's going to get ugly. It's good.

going to get ugly. And you heard about it here first. Just be prepared. It's all of us. Be prepared. It's not funny. I don't know why you're laughing, my friend, because it's getting ugly out there. You don't care about people. You don't care about animals. I mean, we obviously humans first, but I don't want animals to get hurt. But if they come into the town and just start roaming around like they own the joint, a new.

So we'll do the coronavirus update here as we go. We have to do that's a must now in today's world. Right now the USA now tops the world in total cases. If you believe that China only has 81,340

total cases of COVID-19. Yeah, they do because the previous 80,000 people are Yes, those. don't exist anymore. They were never cases. Never, never cases. Wait, I have to...

I know. I think I might have... Nope, he's fine. He didn't have it. Okay. So, Italy has 86,000. Italy has more... Italy has more than China has reported. And now the USA has 96,6,6,6. I mean, we're going to crack 100,000 probably today. As we... I mean, it's in the afternoon as we're recording this podcast. podcast. So the U.S. will probably crack 100,000 today. But our total deaths are only 1,468. So we're

hanging in there pretty good. Wow, Spain has almost 5,000 deaths as well. That's incredible. Wow. Wow. That's a lot of people. I mean, we lose a lot more to other diseases. So should we have the world in lockdown in particular, the USA over this? Yes. More and more people are saying no. Yes.

I don't know. No, but I just said yes. I know, but I don't know. I want you to count me. Yes. I didn't know. Nobody, everybody is thinking, I don't know. Everyone is saying, I don't know.

I don't know. That's all I'm hearing. I haven't heard anybody say yes. All I'm hearing is everybody is questioning. No, yes. I just said yes. I haven't heard that from anyone. Yeah, but I'm in here in front of you.

I'm literally inside your head because you have headphones on. Over 50% of the country right now is in lockdown, right? This country? Holy cow. Yeah. Huh, I thought it was more than that. No, more than 50%?

We've got more than half the country in lockdown? It feels like the whole country's on lockdown. It does. Well, look, half the country is in lockdown. The other half are like, well I guess I'll just stay home too I got you know the restaurant isn't closed

you know what's very funny is that I don't have cable so when I watched the news I will watch them at the studios well I haven't been in the studios for 15 days now and I was pulling some clips out did you see what the news stations are doing they have like they have the screen

you know, like the screen. And in the background, they have like the death tolls, the sick tolls, the, they have like all these graphics. The running totals. Yeah. That is so cool. It's scary. Good thing I don't have cable because I don't want to see that on my box. I know.

But like, I was like, whoa, that is the coolest thing I haven't seen TV in 15 days. Okay, that's pretty cool. Well, no, that's too scary. No, never mind. I'm not pulling that clip anymore. But everybody has it. CNN, Fox News, they'll have that thing in the background. Or they have the tickers.

Do you not see the countdown behind me? Is that how you're out of the camera's view? I thought it was like the food left. I've got the running totals and everything. It's like the debt clock. Yeah. Just running behind me. I call it the death clock.

But it's just running behind me at all times. I thought that was like you check in a count clock. I'm like, ooh. Yeah, that's a negative view. that my checking account is the world the world whatever the hell federation earth people shut off man that thing is just shut down or the world wildlife federation that's who they are all right so uh i've already shut down my checking account is already shut down for the worldwide life federation you would have wrote a check though you're i'm sorry you already wrote a check you can't

shut down your checking account if you're still writing checks. It's already shut down. And you can, by the way, just to be clear, you can write checks even if you're checking your account is shut down. I want to say, can I quote you on that? But I feel that could be used against me, against you in a court of law. So I'm not even- It's just a joke. This is a joke. I'm not kidding. It's just, you can't do that. It's illegal. And wow, you know, I wouldn't want people to do that ever.

So there's that. So we're getting reports now that cities are saying they're going to arrest you if they have, if you're out on the streets. But according to my source, they're not doing it. Wait, is this your source inside the Fort Worth

Police Department? I never said what police department my source was part of, first of all. Let's be clear about that. You said you talked to someone from the Fort Worth Police Department. No, I don't think I did. I don't think I ever

I don't think I ever stipulated what police department my source is from. But you did because I did not. No, I did not. Because I was like, wait, that Fort Worth police officer now became a source? You think yes, I have an inside source. I don't think it was Fort Worth, though.

It was I just have a police officer's source. I don't believe I've ever said it was Fort Worth. Okay. So you can, I mean, you can pretend that it's Fort Worth if you want. You can pretend that it's, but it's really not Fort Worth. Okay. Wow. because I never said that it was for work. But you did, but you did.

If I did, I got to stop drinking. So all I was going to do is go through these headlines today. And we haven't even, we haven't even hardly touched on it. We've had an actor arrested for peddling fake coronavirus cure. I mean, we're going to get more and more of these stupid crimes, let alone the terrorist threats. of licking the deodorant. That's a terrorist threat. I'm looking the deodorant.

But I know. I know. You know the actor Keyes Lawrence Middlebrook. I mean, who doesn't know? He was at small roles in Iron Man. Iron Man. He had a small role in Iron Man 3 and Thor. I mean, a huge actor, just huge.

I just watched Iron Man 3. Keith, yeah, Keith Lawrence Middlebrook. Yeah. I don't know what part he played because I, you know, I don't want to spoil the movie for you. Oh, no, no, go right ahead. Go right ahead.

Please, please spoil the movie for me. Keith Middlebrook. Ooh, we're still strolling. We're still crawling. Sterling. Well, they said small roll, man. He is way down here. It's got to be in a group that died in some explosion.

that was me I was flying through the air just the other side of the fence that was me wait this doesn't say it's not even in here what's the deal Iron Man 3 he's they say a small role he's probably one of the guys that what are they unnamed

unnamed credit there it is Keith Middlebrook yeah uncredited Agent Adams uncredited except they gave him credit on IODB. So he was peddling, so he's made a fortune from that, you know, I mean, they probably paid him 30, 40 bucks. And he was peddling a fake coronavirus cure. He said that he had a patent pending cure for the deadly virus.

He said that he claimed to have Irving Magic Johnson on his board of directors. When asked about it, Irvin told the authorities, I don't even know who you're talking about. talking about man. The guy that was in Airman 3, you know, Agent. Yeah, Agent Adams. Agent Adams. Yeah. You don't know who that is? Upcoming star.

I mean, he could get 20 years in prison. Good. Well, you also got, Alice Jones got in trouble. Yeah, I know. Well, he just lost his case, right? He's got to pay a bunch of money. He's still heard, I mean, bless his little heart. we should try to talk to him

I want to talk to Alex You want to talk to Ironman I think we get Alex Jones No Alex Jones Talk to Alex Jones And I want to talk to Elon Musk Well we better not say that on the air Though I don't want other people

Other shows to try to get a hold of them Download and subscribe to more content At the blaze.com slash podcasts So those of you that have been listening To chewing the fat Over our CQB days here at the coronavirus quarantine bunker.

You know that we've been talking about supply lines and truckers, and we've been communicating with some of our trucker listeners across the country. And we also know that even though we're getting bad news from a lot of the different media, a lot of our trucker friends are saying, hey, hey, hey, trucks are still, you know, truck stops are still open, restaurants are still open. You might have to get your food to go, but they still have food. and they still have some facilities open. So it may not be as bad as what some in the media are portraying it right now.

But it definitely could get that way. And a senior fellow at the Heritage Foundation, Darren Baxed, wrote a big article called Three Fixes to Ensure a Stable Food Supply during the coronavirus pandemic. And I wanted to talk to Darren a little bit, and I appreciate you joining us today, Darren. How are you, sir? I'm good. Thanks for inviting me. So as I'm going through your story and you have the three steps that will help in our,

to keep the food lines open for America. We've found out now that, you know, I would kind of get the idea that we think we don't have any food left because the shelves are empty. What we do have is just kind of a distribution issue, right? people are buying more than what the companies are used to restocking. So, I mean, there's still stuff there to restock the shelves. Absolutely. The FDA says there's no food shortage, and they're right. That may seem like a odd thing to say, given that when you go to the stores, there's a lot of empty food shelves.

But it's an inventory problem that's going to be addressed as a short-term issue. But when we look at the overall food supply, there's plenty of food, and the logistical issues will get addressed throughout the food supply chain. So in your view, the three fixes to ensure that that stable food supply continues are what? Well, I think there are numerous things. But the three that I identified, and I think the three that are important right now, are first of all, we should not be forgetting the truck drivers. who are definitely, I think, the un-sung heroes out there during this pandemic, states need to keep rest stops open. Amen. And last week, there were several states that were not doing this.

Pennsylvania and Nebraska, Michigan. So in Pennsylvania, they still have got a decent number of rest areas closed. Yeah, I mean, they were forced to open. open as I don't know how many they were. I thought they were forced to open them all, but they were forced to open the ones that they have opened. Yeah, they got so much pressure. And they opened about 13 out of 30.

This is the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation. They opened 13 to 30 of their rest areas, but then they opened up some more yesterday, I believe. So it's improving on that front. And Nebraska seems to be taken care of their problem. There is apparently some toilet paper theft that was going on. They took these rest out. So they didn't want to keep them open.

So if there's no attendant there. So it seems like states are addressing it, but you just never know how it's going to play out and whether or not states are going to continue to make sure that these rest stops are available. And it's not simply just making it available for parking. It's also you need to make sure you have restroom facility and the ability to actually get food and drinks. as well and whatever other key services that are necessary. It's understandable to have some limitations in light of the coronavirus, but that doesn't mean the truck drivers shouldn't be able to gain access to these key services.

Correct, especially when we are expecting them to deliver our goods across the country, just like they have been doing. And I know other, you know, there's plenty of companies that are redoing what they deliver in this time of COVID-19. but they're still on the road delivering product. And we have to be, I mean, if they're going to be on the road, they've got to be able to stop and take a break. It's just part of the deal.

Yeah, absolutely. So you also have on here processed visas for agricultural guest workers. I mean, is that going to be addressed in the new $18 trillion, never-ending printing money bill that it was just signed? I think the U.S. is already trying to address this issue. So the United States suspended routine visa services in U.S. embassies and consulates. And that includes Mexico. And a lot of the guest workers come from, well, Mexico.

Mexico, yeah. And this is particularly important with produce, you know, fruits and vegetables. And so what the State Department was doing was they were focused. on making sure that returning guest workers with what are called the H2A visas, those are the temporary agriculture workers, visas, that they could kind of be expedited and come in. But that by itself is not going to be enough. You have to make sure that all kind of the, all the guest workers that would be available

under the H2A can come in, not just the returning workers. And I think the State Department is working towards doing that, but it's really important that these H2A workers do come in so that we can get the food so the farmers have the workers they need to get us the food need. And not only, I mean, not only the harvesting, but the planting, right? I mean, we're, somebody's got to plant that same time, you know, down the road when we harvest. Absolutely. And one thing also that shouldn't be lost is there's another visa program that's not agriculture,

but it's faced to be temporary work. right not agriculture but there are some industries that I would call agriculture related like the seafood industry that's going to be very dependent that's very dependent on some of these visas so it's important to kind of get these workers in and not delay in the meantime so we can kind of make sure we keep the food supply moving yeah that'd be nice and look even when we have uh you know so many people uh you know unemployed now or at least unable to work uh you know still uh we have to eat Hello. Exactly.

You also have on here approve a waiver of the Jones Act. I don't think a lot of people are aware of the Jones Act. I know I wasn't until I read your article and I thought well that makes a lot of sense. Hey, that's probably why you wrote the article, dear.

Yeah, the Jones Act is a 100-year-old law. It's actually 100 years old this year. Yeah. Happy birthday Jones Act. And it's a, it really is a protectionist measure for the domestic U.S. shipping practices in the industry. And what it does is it mandates that any good ship by water between two points in the U.S. must be transported on a U.S. built, U.S. flagged, and at least a 75% U.S. crude vessel. And that sounds, you know what, that kind of sounds good on the surface. but I mean to start looking at regulations

it just becomes maddening. Yeah, the problem is that it starts to drive up shipping costs that can create delays and that's like the last thing we need to do right now in particular. So giving an example, there's a Federal Reserve Bank of New York report and it talks about the says the cost of shipping a 20-foot container

of household and commercial goods from the east coast of the U.S. to Puerto Rico is about double. the cost of shipping to nearby islands not subject to the Jones Act. So there's a significant cost. And this particular law has a real impact on, as you might expect, Hawaii, Alaska, Puerto Rico, but really all areas of the United States. And the president has the power to waive the Jones Act.

And it's not something that is unusual. In fact, the Trump administration approved a short-term waiver for petroleum products after Hurricane Harvey and Irma. Okay. And then President Trump approved a waiver for all products, not just petroleum products, but for all products, shift to Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. And what I'm recommending,

I'm not getting into the Jones Act generally, I'm just talking about a waiver, is that right now the president should waive the Jones Act during this national emergency. Yeah, and look, and if anyone knows how to, to cut some red tape and get some things done. I mean, President Trump is the man for that job. So I'm guessing since it's already been done before, it will get done, right?

Especially when we start seeing the need for the use of those shipping. He talked about how shipping would still remain, right? Our structure would still remain. So he has to be able to do that. Darren Bax, from the Heritage Foundation, when you were going through your top three, writing your article on the three fixes to ensure a stable food supply during the coronavirus pandemic. You had mentioned when we first started, well, there's lots of things. What are the top two that didn't make the top three?

Now, let me have the top five. Yeah, I think one of the issues that didn't make it was, I think it's really important to focus on some of the local regulations dealing with deletions. So it's nice for the food to be on the grocery store shelves. But since many people may not actually be able to go to the grocery store to actually get that food, is important that the food get delivered to their households. So that's kind of that one piece, that one piece of the supply chain that I don't know is always discussed. It's that last piece in their context. So local governments and states need to really look at what laws they have in place.

they may make it difficult for businesses to actually deliver the food to households. So that's really important. And there are food safety. We certainly want to have food safety protection, obviously during this point. But there is a massive law called the Food Safety Modernization Act that I won't bore you with. But there are some things that are being implemented that are relatively new that I think create an undue burden on farmers. and other people in the food supply. And then if anything, I don't think they should be implemented right now.

So you're saying government regulation is creating an undue burden on the citizens. Huh. That's just great. Yeah. And there's exactly. Look, there's no question that some of these examples are things that we should probably be talking about when we're not in an emergency. Yeah. But they're coming to the forefront right now, right?

I mean, there's a mac and faced right now. It kind of shows us kind of the incredible burden that is imposed on businesses and how it makes our lives actually costly more difficult. And it does. It really is illuminated during this crisis. So, Darren, in your travels and your studies, we've heard plenty of people talk. I'm going to put you on the spot now outside of what we're talking about. How long do you see this go on? What do you, you're just off the time, you and me, just you and me talking, you know,

here on chewing the fat. We're just, we're just chewing the fat. You know, at the, you and your pals at the Heritage Foundation, what are we looking at? Well, that's a great question. And I, I think it's obviously very difficult to answer, but I hope, I think, look, if we are, I think, aggressive right now and we follow the recommendations that are being provided and we keep our distance, and we do what's kind of being asked of us, and we kind of have what I think of a full core press in the short and like the real short term, 15, 20 days, whatever might be.

I think that we can probably get back to work sooner than rather than later, but we all have to kind of do our part. Wow, that was a good government answer, Darren. That was a really good government answer. So, but I like it. I mean, it puts a nice little light at the end of what could be a very long and dark tunnel. I don't know that, I don't know that, I mean, that's, that's, now you're looking at Easter, which is what President Trump is hoping for, right, to get some people back, back doing what they do by Easter.

And, well, I hope that's true. I hope so do I. And it might be later, you know, we'll see, but we just got to deal what we need to to make sure that, that we can't. get to that point or, like you said, get back sooner rather than later. And I think for some people, they might be able to get back sooner. And for others, it might be a little bit longer. No kidding. Darren Baxe from the Heritage Foundation.

You can follow on Twitter at Darren Baxe. And joining us here on Chewing the Fat, the article that we've been discussing was his three fixes to ensure a stable food supply during our, you know, our coronavirus pandemic. Darren, thank you so much for joining us too in the fat. I appreciate it, man. Thank you.