Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 348 | A Plethora of Bats on Sale NOW! | Guest: Roshani Chokshi

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Day 33 inside CQB: A new event was created on Facebook called "Break Joe Exotic Out Of Jail" this sounds like the Area 51 event. Old news are coming back as new and Jeffy is upset because why are news organizations doing this. Time travel is very complicated and we go over the rules of time travel. Dive into the third book in the Hindu-based, best-selling Pandava series, in which Aru and her cohorts, Mini, Brynne, and Aiden—and now a pair of twins—each search the Otherworld for Kalpavriksha, the wish-granting tree. Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes by Roshani Chokshi. Stop eating BATS! Do you want to attend a CTF Virtual Happy Hour? We'll submit your name here: CTF VIRTUAL HAPPY HOUR Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's week two of Canadian Tires' early Black Friday sale. These prices won't go lower this year. So you're lying on the floor? Save up the 50% November 13th to 20th. Conditions apply, details online. And now, a Blaze Media podcast. Hello. Welcome to chewing the fat.

How are you? Me too. I'm fine. I'm just hanging out at the bunker. You know, getting used to the quarantine. We've only got, what, a good two, three months left. maybe before we were able to go outside. I had a doctor's appointment this morning.

I left the house. I walked out of the garage and into my vehicle. Amazingly it started. I drove out into the world, and it was really scary. I didn't know what to think this morning. And I went to the doctor's office and back home. So, I mean, we are bright on the precipice of getting back to normal.

We live in incredible times. I don't know if you've watched Tiger King or not on Netflix, and it's, you know, you can't if you want. It's not worth your time. I did it for you, so you don't have to. So you're welcome. I would have not made it all the way through if I didn't feel like I had to do it for you.

But now there's a Facebook group that has formed that is a. that is called Break Joe Exotic out of jail in parentheses they can't stop us all Wanna bet I feel like this is

the Area 52 thing all over again but they're saying May 14th is the break Joe Exotic out of jail he's in Fort Worth so he's right here we'll send a

if that looks like it's going to happen we may send it to the fat reporter there so me to the federal to the federal penitentiary Hold on, hold on, before you go any further. Chewing the Fat Recorder? Are we hiring? Because last time I checked, Chew and the Fat has two people, a producer and a host.

And a reporter. Okay, so who is this reporter? That's our reporters. Reporters. Okay, so who is the reporters? Who's the reporters? Well, that's part of the job description. of a producer and a host.

So me and you are going to go. I didn't say that. So I'm going to go. I think you hit the nail right on the head by volunteering. I, last, we can. Thank you so much. You're right. You know what for us.

We can rewind. How long we can rewind this whole thing. I don't know exactly when and where to be. And now you can report live from the federal penitentiary. You know what? I was going to let it go. But it's not A. Air 52 is Air 51.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to let it go. I was going to let it go, but now that you are volunteering me to go to... I'm not volunteering. You volunteered. Break Joe from prison on May 14 or March 14? Oh, my gosh. It's...

Break Joe exotic. Break Joe exotic. Okay. Out of jail. In parentheses, they can't stop us all. and it's May 14 You know I don't think Texas is going to be

too liberal when it comes to like other states Like Michigan But if you try To go break Joe Exotic No idea how I want that to happen Oh man

I don't even know right now 16,000 people have signed up Have you signed up? No I have not Are you going to sign up I don't think so I don't want I

I would like the feds knocking out my door saying, oh, so you're thinking about breaking into a federal penitentiary. Yeah. That's going down. So you figure out of the 16,000, what, maybe a thousand show up? Right. I mean, there's going to be more, right? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and once the people that are home are bored and they find the fake, does they show when it was started? Because I feel that by now, if this been out there for a week and that's how many people you got, then you need to hire a new firm and I volunteer to represent you so you could get more signatures on this Facebook group. I think that might be a, that might go against your rules of reporting though. You're going to work for you.

You're going to promote the group and then you're going to report on it for the news. I don't know. Yes. Okay. All right. I still haven't agreed to report. I mean, I appreciate you volunteered to reporting on the event. I haven't.

I volunteer myself for money to help them out and, you know, get the message out there. I want, just as a side note, and I know that I have no idea the state of Texas and the city of Fort Worth how I want two or three thousand people to show up and look like they're going to break into a federal penitentiary. They can't stop us all. Oh, yeah, they can. Oh, yeah, they can. And they'll just sweep the streets up in Texas. And those of us that live in Fort Worth, yeah, you're going to have to not go in this area today.

We've got streets to clean. Oh, okay. No problem. We'll be detoured around, no problem. Traffic's kind of light now anyway. Be all right. Don't worry about it. So, anyway, good luck.

God bless and have fun. And when you think to yourself, they can't stop us all. Yes, they can. By the way, have you clicked on this? the Facebook group? No. Okay. Okay.

So. Break Joe Exotic out of jail. They can't stop us, May 14. Do you want to hear who is it hosted by? I would like to read to you. All right. Who is this hosting? Even if I say no, but you're going to tell me anyways.

First person to host this event. Legalized crack for recreational use. Oh my gosh. The second person. Is that a real thing? The second person legalized crack for religious use. Are those even real? And the third person, you know, hosting this event.

Heaven forbid I post something that's deemed not funny and political on Facebook. They're going to pull the plug on my post. but legalize crack for religious purposes can host an event that wants to break people out of a federal penitentiary. And not only legalized crack, Jeff, is legalize crack because it's all in caps. Oh, okay. So you have to say legalize crack for religious use. And last, and this is no particular order, but I believe this is my favorite one. The third person that is hosting this event is

posting because I'm in shambles. And those are... Not even a real event. Those are the people right now hosting the break Joe Exotic out of jail. They can't stop us. Oh. In parentheses. By the way, do you want to hear the details of the event?

I don't know because it feels like it's not real now. And I wanted it to be real. I wanted it to be real. But a lot y'all. It is time to shine. Everybody got to dress up as Joe so they can't tell who is who. We will need lots of crack and tigers and probably a few tanks. This quarantine.

Our Lord and Savior needs us. That being said, please keep a social distancing of six feet apart. and I'm going to give him a correction there. They put six geet apart. So I think he meant to put six feet apart because the F is next to the G on the keyboard. So he might have fat finger that. So I'm going to apologize for him

because he messed up on that one. Area 51, Area 52, F, G, same thing. We all make mistakes, Fisher. And how dare I demand perfection from legalized crack for recreational use? You don't want perfection in a Facebook post. No, no. Legalize crack.

No, you don't, you don't. And he or she closes this with, is this real? Is this fake? Did that bitch Carol Baskin kill her husband? Is this going to get me put on a government watch list? Did George Bush do 9-11? Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? Am I on crack?

I guess we might have to find out. see it's not and by the way this is a religious post so yeah of course it is of course it so you can't take it down because it's a religious post can't have

you can't join together and pray in a parking lot in the state of Kentucky but you can certainly post on Facebook that you want to break someone out of a federal penitentiary and you're fine so don't even worry about it now see I wanted to be real

that's darn it so are we out of news story now? Is that the deal? Is that what's going on? We're out of news stories. If it doesn't have to do with coronavirus, and we've got a ton of coronavirus stuff and stories to get to today, and I'll get to them, I promise, and we'll do it. But so I see the story, a brand new story, CNN website, uh, CNN, uh, travel. And it's about, and the headline is, 64-year-old man accidentally ejects himself from a fighter jet at 2,500 feet, and it's got today's date on it.

It's like a year-old story, maybe more. We did it on, I remember doing the story. I remember making laughing about it. Because nobody died. Nobody died. I remember talking about not being able to go in fighter jets because there's no fat guy seating. they're treating it like it's a brand new story it's incredible

and so I guess we're out of stories I guess we're out of stories so we're just going to start redo it you know what we ought to do we're going to go back a little more than a year or more and find really good stories and post them as if they're new okay go that's now your job.

Now, if you're a reporter working for, you know, CNN content in the travel edition, you're like, I get to keep my job. All I have to do is go back and find old stories to report and make them sound like new. Hey, did you hear about the 64-year-old man accidentally ejecting himself from a fighter jet at 2,500 feet? Yeah. Yeah, it just happened. It just happened. I know it sounds exactly like what happened a little over a year ago, but it just happened.

And it's a brand new story. And so here you go. Good luck. God bless. That's where we're at. So we have to look out for that. I want to play devil's advocate. Is it the one year anniversary of this guy ejecting himself out of this seat?

Okay. A. No. Okay. B, pretty close, though. Pretty close. I feel like it will feel. When I went back and.

looked it was the fifth of April. Okay. It was the story from last year. But, uh, but that doesn't say, hey, you know, it's been a year since Bill accidentally ejected himself from the fighter jet and he's still having heart palpitations, remembering it.

Or, uh, you know, hey, his ankle still hurts from parachuting to the ground and rolling around. because remember he lost his helmet because he was an idiot and didn't have his helmet on right so it flew off when he when he pushed the eject button remember doesn't say any of that it's treated like a new story so i think that's where we're at i think that's where we're just gonna make up stuff we're make up stuff and we're not even making up stuff now because we don't want to get caught for making up stories we're just going to go back and treat old stories like a new okay just be on the look out for that. When you, for the headlines, when you see the headlines, think to yourself,

when you think to yourself, that sounds kind of familiar. That's because it is. It's the same story that you read a year or two ago, except that it's just being treated as brand new. This weekend, Amy Holmes, who we just used to work here at the Blaze and works for PBS now, I believe. And she had tweeted out to things that you're thankful for. And she wanted to know, what are you thankful for? And she started it off with, you know, indoor plumbing, Wi-Fi, sweatpants. Then she added tweezers, sugar-free chocolate pudding, serial killer shows. Now, of course you're thankful for family.

And I don't think this tweet actually got the traction. that she was hoping for because everybody's kind of thankful for the same things now. You know, like we're thankful for Wi-Fi. Everybody's thankful that we have the internet, right? Especially, you know, quarantine world. But I was thinking that, you know, so, and of course you're thankful for your health, and of course you're thankful for your family. I get it.

And, you know, it's one I'm thankful. And we're all together. And why people were sick and now they're better. Okay. I got you. People were sick. We're thankful that we're. still here, but grandpa died.

Okay, thank you. But what are you really thankful for? I mean, like, since I had a tornado hit my house, I mean, I'm really thankful to have an actual roof over my head now. I'm thankful for that. You know what else I'm thankful for? Nail clippers.

I was watching a show the other night about people coming back from the coming to the future coming back they're coming to the future

from the past and they're like these Vikings and there was no I mean it was pretty a realistic show because bad teeth you know they're they had to bite their nails and their fingers are you know scraped up from rocks

hitting them to keep their nails clean and so I you know I'm thankful for that I'm thankful for you know toothbrushes they didn't have toothbrushes man you're brushing your teeth with and when she, this girl in this episode was that time of the month again, but she was back from the Viking days. I can't remember the stupid show.

It was some European show that was dubbed on Netflix and some kind of detective show. And I like the premise. It was just kind of a show. But all these people were coming, just showing up all over the world. And so they were setting a premise that all these people were. coming back from the dead from different times. But she was the one of the stars of the show. It was, you know, her time of the month.

And what she was doing was finding like clumps of grass and moss to use as something that would assist her from, you know, blood everywhere. and I was thinking, wow, man, you did not want to live in those times. It's all good to think about. Yeah, I was a Viking in a past life. Were you? Yeah, okay. No way. We live in incredible times.

Which, by the way, I'm sorry, I believe that after me, watching downtown abbey and all these old tv shows like this man that was the way to live downtown abbey to this day is the best tv show and they just recreated the people that created uh down to abbey just released a brand new series on epics and since epic is running this uh free tv show until may without subscription and it's called Bill Gravia Sorry B-E-L-G-R-A-V-I-A

Oh man Watch the first episode today Just got released So good So good It's about 200 years ago Follows his rich family You know

Travesty Cubs Life may have been better If you were rich A couple hundred years ago So you're telling me that You Jeff Fisher You Jeff Fisher Back in the day

you're not be the rich fat guy with the way you mind works you're not going to be the guy you know what they call in this show the magician you know the guy that

magically brings all the supplies for the troops what do you need you need a oh supplies donzo here you go I can get it for you

you tell me that's not you of course it is but I don't want to I mean I'm comfortable now you're comfortable not because now I don't want to put a, I don't want my wife putting moss. Yeah, but that's what you know. Now you have the ability to cut your nails to go outside, you know, pre-COVID-19.

You were able to go outside post-COVID19. We might be going back to, you know, downtown abbey and Bill Gravia. So, but we don't know that we're not there yet. So let's not get too ahead. But you're telling me that you're not knowing what you know right now. You'll not be like. Oh, that'd be great. Now, if you could go back, if you could go back.

Without knowing what you know. Oh, knowing what you know, that'll be, see, but now, now you're changing history, though. Now you just come in changing history. Hey, no, don't follow that. Yeah, you're not supposed to do that. If you're a time traveler, you can't be, you can't be messing with anything that affects the time. You can't go. You can't go kill, you know, Tesla and take his spot.

You can't do that. Yeah. You can't affect the timeline. No, no. And the world is completely off kilter then. Absolutely. I mean, everything gets out of whack. Yes.

But the world would adjust, right? You would find a way to bring it back, which means that you would be dead. Yes. It would die. Yes. The world will try to, you know, correct itself. Right. Yes, correct itself.

But yes. But you not knowing what you know today, you go back 200 years ago and you in Bulgaria or Brussels, that's where it is, it takes place in Brussels. Oh, you're the king pink. I would like to think that to be true. I would like to think that to be true. Odds are, I'm laying out of the streets, waiting for somebody that's throwing me a piece of bread rolling around with the rats, sad.

As we walk along to the break room, as we walk along to the break room, get a Coca-Cola zero sugar. Be sure to subscribe to chewing the fat. Whatever platform warms the little cockles of your heart, okay? iTunes, Stitcher, Iheart Radio, Spotify, whatever you like. Just subscribe to the podcast, Chewing the Fat. Then, and I don't feel like it's asking too much.

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That's free. Chewing the fat. All right. For the break room, I need to drink a cup of sugar. Desperately. So good. So today is a special day for those of us who are in quarantine and want a new story to dive into. Roshnitschowski has a brand new book, the third book.

And we already know is a four-part series, incredible, the third chapter of her four-part series right now from her best-selling series. is the new book, Tree of Wishes. Is that right? It's just Tree of Wishes, the third round, right? That's true, Tree of Wishes. And actually, we haven't had a chance to announce it yet, but the series has actually been expanded to five books. I love you for that.

You know what? You know what? This is doing so well. We're going to make, you know what? I think I can do five. I think I can do five. I mean, okay, so, Roshney, thank you for joining us on chewing the fat here in the break room. I appreciate it.

I appreciate taking the time out. I mean, how you holding up? You okay? I'm all right. I mean, you know, the strange thing is being a full-time writer, so much of what I do is essentially staying around in my professional pajamas and talking to my cats. So nothing has really changed. And that way. But, you know, I feel like, and maybe it's just me. But I feel like even people who, you're like, I'm not, I joke around about going out, but we do go places. But it's always nice to be able to say, you know what, I'm not going anywhere for a couple of days. I've got what you need. I'm staying in. I'm going to walk over to the blinds once or twice and look outside and go, nope, not going out there. But when it's forced upon you, I feel like we're all going, well, we've got to go. We've got to go.

We've got to go. Absolutely. Yeah, there's this sense of, you know, the really big thing was I miss staying at home and knowing that it was a choice. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

So do you live here in the United States? I do. I live in Atlanta. Oh, sorry about that. You can move away there. I think they might even let you leave now. I don't know if they'll allow it, but you can leave Atlanta. I love Georgia.

I'm just messing with you. So your latest book, so you've expanded it to five, all right? So the new, the latest book, the Arosha and the Tree of Wishes, right? I mean, the series is all about Arusha, right? That's true. Yeah. Well, she's, you know, the launching character and such. But in every book, she gets essentially a new sister.

So it's very much a story about found family. So, yeah. So I love the idea of a young girl who's, in a sense, the hero of the book, right? The superhero of the series. And, you know, being a father of a daughter, I'm a fan of, you know, letting the girls realize that they too could be superheroes. You know, the world likes to pretend that men are in charge, but that's really not true. You and I both know that.

And it also, as I was looking through your notes, it said that, and I don't know that they actually allowed this in Atlanta, Georgia. But maybe they do in the day of Tiger King that you have a pet dragon. And I was like, I am more of a fan than ever right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. Oh, that bio makes me so sad. So we had Panda. She is our great Pyrenees dog for almost 13 years.

And very recently, we always call him our luck dragon because he looks like Falcour from Neverending Story. But very recently he decided he was done with his earthly residence and he was ready to the next stage of reincarnation. So I know he's watching from whatever constellation he's napping in, but he really was the best luck dragon ever. Oh, I feel bad. I shouldn't have brought up the dragon. He really truly looked like a dragon. It was just fluffy and white in a complete and total mistake for us, first generation Americans. We never had dogs in India or the Philippines. You know what I mean? You'd be more likely to try and go on the street and eat one of them.

So, you know, my family was shocked when, you know, me and my siblings were like, we want a dog. Well, what kind of American nonsense is this? We're like a dog. And look at that one. That one looks like a tiny polar bear that's. bring it home and then it turned into Clifford and just took over our lives. That's great. Yeah, that's great. So it also talks about you attempting to be an attorney. Oh, yeah. I love that because, you know, I mean, it actually gives you a way of thinking, that

linear way of thinking. But I get the impression that within that linear way of thinking, that's when you wrote your first novel, right? So you had had enough and did not want to think that way anymore, or does it help you in writing? It actually helps me extremely. I loved law school. I did one summer associate thing where I worked in a big law firm and the check was beautiful, but I couldn't remember the color of the sun, so I left. But what law really is, it's the study of storytelling. It's a celebration of language at its core and it's beautiful. So one thing, whenever I'm writing, I actually always

think about the advice, or actually not so much the advice, but my contract professor yelling at all of us, when he would call on us in class and then we'd give an answer, he would then go with argue against yourself. And so all the things you'd said, you now had to not backtrack, but twist it and look at it a different way. And it's something that I think has only improved my craft. That's, I mean, that's incredible. And so when you were, obviously your first, you know, novel still in school, was a success. And you decided, you know what, I want to see daylight and write some more stuff. So you decided to make that your life?

Absolutely. Yeah. I was really fortunate to be able to make that decision and to be in a place where I could do that with financial comfort, which is really the big thing. So with your character, Arusha, and now you're saying. It's a, you know, it's turned into a five-part series. And so at some point, you've had to make a deal with, you know, Netflix or Amazon or Quibi or someone that you're creating, which turns into this five-part series. I'm sure at some point when you first started it, did you envision it as a continued series? Yeah, I always knew that there was no way that I would be able to.

tell the story in three books. I thought four books was a stretch. And fortunately, the first two books performed really strongly, and so Disney allowed me to write a fifth. But when I started off with it, I think I always knew how the story would end. And I think from there, it's just a process of reverse engineering. How do you get there for those characters? Right. So where are we at now? You're at the latest is Tree of Wishes, the third book. So where are we at in her growth? She is in the middle of book four, at least is what I'm writing. And, you know, I joke about it as I was telling a friend that so many stories,

particularly when they're split up into three parts or more, they kind of follow a Star Wars structure, right? The first movie ends. Everybody's happy except Chewy. Second movie ends. Some Han Solo's in Carbonite. Third book, everything is. is crappy until all of a sudden it gets better.

So in that way, Aru is in the dark night of her soul journey, I would say. Things are getting tough on our young heroine. And mostly because she's being forced to actively unlearn the things that she was told were true. The people in her life that were supposed to guide her and be good mentors, she's seen the dark side of that. And now she has to make her own decisions and form her own opinions, essentially. Yeah. Have you been, you know, I mean, you've got nothing else to do, right?

You're just sitting around writing. And are you just stuck on Arrow or have you been, do you have other things that you're working on now that you're thinking, I've got to get to this. I can't, I know, I'm stuck on Arrow or is just, is it just you and Arro hanging out in the back room? If only, then I could possibly finish one series on time. That would be nice. But I'm not going to be doing two series at once. So I'm writing Arishan the end of time, which again, Sailor,

Moon, Percy Jackson, Hindi mythology. I absolutely adore it. And I get to exercise all my middle school demons. On the other side of that, though, is my young adult trilogy called The Gilded Wolves. It's set in 19th century Paris, and I described it as, if you like Nicholas Cage's treasure hunting movie National Treasure, but you don't like his face, I have the book for you. So I'm in the middle of that. And honestly, when I'm done with both these series, I think I just want to write one good standalone, where when I say the end, I really mean the end. We write alone. Right. And you say that and then, you know, someone will come knocking saying, you know, you really should have a part too. We can make a movie out of the whole darn thing.

You may start writing it again. Maybe. We'll see. How far long I am in my mortgage. So the latest tree of wishes is available now and they can get it wherever books are sold. And of course, probably I'm sure, like the rest of the world, you have a website that you'd like everyone to do. go to? Yes. The website is just my first and last name. It's Roshni Chakshi, spelled R-O-S-H-A-N-I, C-H-O-K-S-H-H-I. And from there, you can find my Twitter handle and Instagram handle, again, first, last name, and where I often post things I'm trying to write and pictures of Teddy the Cat, who is the color of bread and very friendly. That's fantastic. Thank you so much for spend a little time with us today. I appreciate it.

And, you know, as the rest of the world says, every day now, stay safe, okay? You too. Take care. So we might as well do the coronavirus update. Okay, okay, take it easy. I mean, good event. So the USA numbers today, as we record, the USA has 597,838 cases of coronavirus. coronavirus, 24,618 deaths. Wow.

Worldwide, 1,963,010 total cases. 123,483 total deaths. I feel like we would have been over 2 million already. It kind of feels like it's slowing down a little bit. And that's, I know it's a feeling that I don't have any exact. Okay, maybe it's not. Maybe it's not slowing down. Sorry.

I don't mean to get you all worked up, but just letting you know. If you were trying to get through TSA yesterday and you were... Take it easy. I don't think they're letting you through. But the numbers did go up. People fly it yesterday. Wow. Remember the day before yesterday, we were down to 90,000.

A little over 90,000 people flying through the TSA travel checkpoints. yesterday 102,184 people going through the TSA checkpoints. So good for them. I mean, we're starting to move a little bit. Good. And they're starting to smarten up a little bit. You always wondered about this when this would actually start happening, and now there's doing a story on it.

Delta has starting, is now going to start back to front boarding process. why were they doing that I mean, hello? Section 2. We have first. So even if you're in business class, you don't get to go on first anymore. You know to hold up.

We're putting people in the back first. So I get that. I mean, it was nice. It's nice when you're in first class and business class and you're already on the plane and the people back in steerage have to walk by you to get on. go ahead go ahead keep going keep moving don't mind me yeah they don't want that anymore

maybe that's part of the problem right you got some guys sitting in business class I'm trying to get by to go back to steer it's you know what that guy got it all over you So good. Now, we've got also, apparently, scientists have discovered, as the wet markets, yeah, as the wet markets in China are opening back up, we now have scientists telling us that they've discovered six new coronaviruses in bats. Yay! Now, they're telling us, look, they're different from the ones killing people around the world now, but don't worry about it. Fine. It's just a couple of new things that they can, you know, give us.

It's okay. It's fine. Don't worry about you. Quit your whining. Can we stop? Stop eating bats. Like, seriously, are they that delicious that we cannot live without eating bats? Honest question.

They do not look like they have enough meat. They don't look like delicious. They don't look appetizing. Like, at least when I pass the stupid cows, every single day, I'm like, okay, you know what? That cow looks delicious. Now I know what that farmer is about to kill it and then sell it to Walmart. Or when I see a goat, I'm like, you know what?

A goat looks delicious. I can see why. I can eat that. I can eat that. I see a bat, especially when I first saw a bat was two years ago right where your son lives under that bridge in Austin. Yeah, the bat bridge. The bat bridge will.

The bat comes out. didn't I look appetizing at all And I was right under them I was You didn't have like a fishing net To snag some bats and take home with you No I was looking at them Even fish or even

I have bird feeders in front of the house In the back of the house I look at I see a pigeon or a bird I'm like you know what that bird looks delicious I bet if I put some ketchup on it And some barbecue sauce That is a good Bird to eat

I look at a bat, man, no. I'm not eating that. I don't see the... Wow. This looks good. Let's put some barbecue sauce on it. Some Heinz ketchup. And you're done.

And bat soup. Boil them up. And by the way, bat soup. I'm still trying to figure that out. Like, have we run out of bugs to eat? I prefer. I prefer to follow the who's advice. of eating the bugs before I do too.

Before I think I do too. I even dare to think of, you know what, a bat soup or bat fried or bat al-a-moat or bat saute with onions and mushrooms sounds delicious. Now, I'll take that cockroach milk. I'll take that, you know, cockroach saute onions. And I'll take that, is that worm? Yes, I'll take worms. and crickets, I'll take some crickets too and can you sprinkle it with a little bit of, I don't know, ants.

I want fire ants. And that would be delicious. Ooh, and look, you know what? Let's go ahead and put that spider on there. Give me a little bit of spiders. Yeah, I want more protein. I want some more protein. And by the way, the flies, don't you dare kill those flies.

I want them to land on top of this as I'm eating it so I can just gubble them up. I want to eat them live. I don't want to not want them. The flies are no good dead. They're no good to be done. No, I want them to be buzzing inside my mouth moving, like, zz, zz, zz, and I'm fighting with them like, no, stop moving.

I'm going to chew on you. That's what they're the best. With there, with there in your mouth, that, khr. Yes, and you hear that crunch? The crunch like that? Yes. Oh, man. Oh, man.

And by the way, that's how I like my crickets, too. I love my crickets life and then chirping and crunching on my ear, I mean, inside my mouth, and I hear it. Krik, krik. Oh, there is. Is that the sound you hear? You must be eating a different kind of cricket. What are you eating? Because when I eat the cricket, when I bite into them, I don't hear, I don't hear.

You don't? I just hear that. Oh, okay, okay. Just a cool, it's almost the same as a fly. Oh. But not quite. We got to stop, honestly. We do.

I know that was a joke, but like Asian people. aka you Chinese people seriously email Fisher at Chewing the Fat at the Blaze.com and please please for dear God

tell us why the hell are you still eating bats that'd be a good idea I'd like to know what the fascination is I would like to know what the fascination Chinese people listening to us I think the fascination has got to be

it's just that they don't have anything to eat no no no So there's such a plethora of bats on the planet. Are they? Seriously, if you had a net, if you had a fish net at the bat bridge, you can hang it down there. And just when they start flying out, you just fly into the net.

And you've got a net full of bats. Okay. Just boil them up and put some saltines on and you're good to go. See, the problem having with that is that there's a plethora of bats. I don't know what this plethora is. But I don't we have pictures That's the name of my bat company Pletra bats

Plethora you know what That's also the The title of today's show A plethora of bats On sale now On sale now You know what The whole thing is going to be the show title

By the way We've seen pictures Of the wet market Yeah Bats are not the only ones there Like I'll even I'll even I'll even

Forgive me for saying this Fisher, but I'll even give you a pass for eating fluffy. I will give you a pass if you have to eat fluffy. I honestly saw. Me too. I would prefer. When they showed the dogs that they had piled up there that were already dead and, you know, they were there to buy to eat because they were getting ready for their, you know,

the dog party. Yeah. The dog meat party. The festival. And they're all, the dogs all looked exactly the same. And they're right. I went back. I went back and I looked up the story we were talking about because I was kind of, I did not, it did not click.

And once I saw the dogs, you're absolutely right. They're cow dogs, basically. Yeah, exactly. So I get that. Yeah. I understand. Yes. But I will literally excuse you from eating dogs.

Actually, I prefer you to heat those cow dogs. Cow dogs. Before you eat that bat. Seriously. we're not running out of food. If you're listening to and even if you are listening to who saying that we're running out of food,

the whole world is overpopulated, follow their guidelines. You know what they're telling you? They're saying to eat bugs and cockroach milk and larva and marsupials. I don't know. They never said eat bats. I've never heard them say that.

I've missed, maybe I missed a couple of meetings with the Who people. But right now the person that it... I think on page two. On page two? Maybe page two, maybe page three. I can't remember which one it was. Right there between the lines of dogs and bugs.

Uh-huh. That says bats. Oh, but you know what? I'll stand corrected then. And then we got news that the, uh, they're finding that air samples from patients who have coronavirus. So when you walk by someone...

Take it easy. 13 feet. I mean, it's being transmitted 13 feet in the air if you get, if you walk by someone and you get the. So you need a little bit more social distancing going on if that's true. Download and subscribe to more content. the blaze.com slash podcasts. So, we're back dab in the, you know, middle of the COVID-19. It looks like some of the numbers are starting to even out a little bit.

People are, you know, starting to freak out. But we've definitely had some buying things change. I saw where processed food is picked up sales, at least a small sales. I mean, Kraft Heinz enjoyed a 3% increase in sales with their processed food. You know, people, you know why? Because people want mac and cheese. They want the macaroni and cheese in the box. It's easy.

It's easy. It's so easy. You put it on the, on the thing, you turn it on. And then you put the water in there. And you're done. You're done so. Throw some of the cheese powder. We believe that it's real cheese powder.

We don't care that it's not. And it would just put it in and stir it up. Then people have bought jigsaw puzzles. get this though wow man the 136 year old puzzle maker Ravs Ravinsberger Ravensburger I would say that because like

for those of you that don't know the biggest puzzle maker in the world Ravensburger I mean I didn't know hello we just put my wife just pulled out a couple of puzzles that she bought yeah can you

we've had these puzzles for a while she got them from wall builders a while ago okay also they're educational well I mean they're Declaration of Independence guys. They are from wall builders, and this audience knows about wall builders. I mean, it's no, it's no Ravensburger or Ravensburger. Either or.

But they sold an average of seven puzzles a minute. Wow. That's incredible. They've been selling puzzles at a rate of nearly 20 per minute. So they got 286% increase. Good. I mean, they are stamping out some puzzles. By the way, it's funny you said

because I was listening to a financial podcast and they talked. Other than this one. Well, this is not a financial podcast. You can't count down the numbers of this podcast, but go ahead. Campbell's Soup just reported a 366% increase. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And talk about my shelves. My shelves have helped increase that as well. So did we forget about Campbell soup? Yeah, they were struggling. They were. We didn't forget about them, but they were, the sales were down. You know, I mean, they were the sales are down because people didn't want, they'd rather make their own. And they didn't, you know, it was the old style.

They were talking about at one point changing the labels again and trying to get people to notice them on the shelves. They felt like it was, you know, people would, you look at Campbell's and it's just, oh, yeah, it's. You know, you're just going to walk by it or whatever. I remember reading about that. I remember reading about some of the, some of the, what the heck was it? It was like the preservatives that were in some of the suits and stuff that people were worried about. It was, but now, again, just like a mac and cheese. Yeah, who is worrying about GMOs right now?

Apparently nothing because the only thing, shelves that are full are the vegan shelves. Yep. And by the way, it's pretty cool. Campbell also announced that it will pay a two and hour premium to all hourly workers and a $100 a week premium to frontline supervisors and other managers. There's swimming in soup money. But, you know, it's in this podcast, it was also talking about, so you also have big toilet paper. There's swimming in big toilet paper now. Here's a problem. When everything cools off, no one's going to buy toilet paper for a while because their garage has 8,000 rolls. So they're good for a lifetime. I know. So all these toilet paper people, like what do they do?

Well, he's got to slow production down, right? Well, not only slow down. Do you venture into something else? Oh, wait, you can't because they also have 8,000. tissue paper so you can't do that. Oh, let's do Hentau. No, we can't do that because there's another eight, so any paper product

people already stock up to the end. If you're a toilet paper company, like I would start right now and put expiration dates on them. Oh. So right now, do you don't have to do it, don't have to mention it, just start stamping expiration dates on the rolls of toilet paper.

So after it all settles down, I've got eight pallets of toilet paper and you're garage. A hundred cases of pallet. And you think you're living large, no problem. You don't need any toilet paper. And then you hear the report.

The toilet paper companies are saying that we're getting to the three-month window of toilet paper rotting into people's garages because it's out of day. You know what's so sad? You know what is so sad about that? That if that actually comes out and I'm scared of you talking because you usually are right about some things. People will actually believe that. I know.

And then you'll see mountains. Mountains of toilet paper being thrown away. I can just see the local news sending, you know, Clarice out with the cameraman. I need you to go, you know, I need you to go by Fort Worth Keller and Plano, and I need you to just go grab some footage of all these people taking their pallets.

out and leaving myself. Oh, and the neighborhood bonfires of toilet day toilet paper. Oh, no, it looks like meteorologist Joe is going to predict what. It's going to rain. Oh. Oh, so. Those of you looking to have a bonfire with your toilet paper,

you want to get that out there now because the rain is coming this afternoon. You want that rain to put those fires out. Yeah, it's going to happen. And now I see where again, as we talked about people buying habits to headline, they're buying hair dye. Duh. What did I tell you a month and a half ago?

Duh. You were all over that. I can't wait to see people's real hair color. Yeah. It's funny. When they realized, oh, crap, I can't see my barber or my hairstylist anymore. And I'm right there with you. I'm not making fun of it.

I'm just saying I saw it coming. It's like, oh, crap. My hair is that color? I know. It's funny. Walmart CEO shared most frequently purchased item each week since March. So week one, hand sanitizer and soap. Of course.

Shells were empty. Shelds. Week two, toilet paper. Yeah. Makes sense. So that coming. Yep. Now, week three, four and five, no, week three and four, I don't understand.

So maybe you can explain that to me. Week three, baking yeast. Yeah, people want to make their own bread and stuff because my wife did. Is that because people were wanting to make bread? Or is that because people were putting it on social media and they want to to participate on the fad of making bread. Because Instagram. You know what the answer to that is?

Yes. Yes. My Instagram is being flooded. Every single female mom, everybody in the mother are making bread and post it. I do not want to see you making bread. I do. My wife makes great homemade bread.

That's good. Okay. Like I said, I don't want to see you making bread. I want you to bring me the bread. Yeah, but I can't. Look, Chris, it's 2020, right? You can't make something in your kitchen without posting on Instagram.

Are you dumb? You know what? I think it's a law. I mean, if you make something, if you bake something in your kitchen and you don't post it on Instagram, you can go to jail in today's world. Can I quote you on that?

Yes. Okay. Yes, you can. Week four, spiral hams. Kind of weird, right? What is that? Those are from pigs. that's what they make

hams they come from pigs and it's just that it's just a people were thinking that they were going to run out of meat they're on food and you could freeze it

okay and it was Easter coming up right so everybody was still thinking they were still who had Easter coming everybody wanted to have their Easter hams yep

and they were through we've got to get out and get our hams for Easter because we're not going to be able to go to the store and everything's going to be shut down

we can just put it in the freezer if we need it okay by the way and when you make a ham then you use if you get one with the bone, you use it to make soup. Oh, the bone, yes.

Oh, delicious. Yeah, ham hawks soup. By the way, I just Google Spiral Hams, and we have the honey-baked ham company down the street. So if you want to go, it closes at 6 p.m. So if you want to go hit the Honey-Bake Ham Company. Yeah, my wife is allergic to honey, remember? Can't have any of the house, man. That's fine.

Drop her over, man. So let's go to South Lake and hit the, let's hit the, uh, let's hit the, uh, Honey baked express. You know, it's another ham shop over there. Oh, look, we brought home some honey ham. You okay? Well, you know, 18 years is a long time. So, and some of my say...

I forgot about the honey. And some of us say, you know, 18 years on anything is way too old. So... Is that what some of you say? Yes, yes. Yeah. And finally... The guy in Florida that decided that he was going to kill his one.

wife too and then uses it was coronavirus uh i don't know what happened to her she was sick with coronavirus and then look at she got sicker and sicker and we were talking to her and i said honey are you okay yeah she died uh she died of coronavirus uh come to think of it no uh no she didn't uh you killed her and you're going to jail now have a nice day wow that took a turn yeah that took a turn If you're a criminal, do not tell people. He, I know this is wrong, Fisher. I know this is wrong to say. But he could have gotten away with it.

He could have gotten away with it. Done properly. Done properly. He could have done. I mean, that's almost with any crime, right? Nobody commits a crime thinking that they're going to get caught, right? I mean, you don't. No, you always.

You always say that, but you have to think always in the back of your head. I'm going to get caught. What's my escape plan? You have to think about it that way. All right. All right. Finally. And week five of the frequently purchased item out of Walmart, you guessed at Fisher,

hair clippers, and dies. Yeah, I mean, of course. So it took us five weeks into the pandemic to get. to hair clippers and die. Because everybody thought that they were, you know, well, they just got their hair done before the lockdown, or they went and got it done before the lockdown was coming. And they went to get it.

Pre-COVID, yep. Because I had, I had an appointment. That Friday. Yeah. Yeah. And Thursday night. Oh, you were closed. Have a nice day.

We appreciate your business and everything. But no. Is that a membership barbershop or is it just a barbershop? Yeah. Ooh, did they stop taking your membership payments? You know, funny thing is, is that still on the account. Because mine is still in the account too. And so, okay, since I opened that door, this is going to be my time to, like, complain.

I have two memberships, one for a car wash and one for the barbershop. Both of them have debited account. Why? Why are you still? still debiting your account? They're still taking money from my account. By the way, speaking of that, if I find out, if I find out why the freaking Texas toll authority is still taking money out of my account.

Yes. Oh, that's three. That's three. They're told people because they take now 40 bucks instead of 20 bucks. And what's the line? I mean, I looked two weeks ago, they took 40 out. Okay. And a couple days ago, they took another 48.

The only person that's been driving is my wife, who takes your father to the doctor. Yeah. And that's where the new office that they have to go to because of COVID-19 is on the other side of Texas. So she has to take the toll. But it's actually on the other side of the city. So she has to take the toll, which is, you know, more than more than it normally would be. But I don't take any. I haven't been driving at all.

And so there's no. So you're telling me that now that there's nobody's on the road, you're. charging me 10 bucks a pop to drive on your roads? Yeah. Your toll roads? No. What are you doing? In fact, I have a note here.

Posted on my wife's computer for bill time. Toll payments. Look into the toll bill. What the hell? Yeah. I'm sorry, but gyms have canceled payments. Why are people still barbershops, tolls, and, car washes that are membership, why are you still debiting money out of my account?

Hold up. Let's put a pause in it because here's the thing. I think you prefer you put a pause on it because if I put a pause on it, guess what? It's going to be permanent. These are some of the things that we're going to discuss during our Zoom get together. Yes. On Friday? Yes.

So if you have, if you want to, if you would like to be a part of our Zoom, Zoom get together on Friday. Be sure to email Chewing the Fat at theblaze.com, chewing the fat at the blaze.com, and we'll send you a link of how to hook up with us. And we'll get together and we'll talk about your payments. And who's still charging you and who's not? Yeah. And by the way, it's on Friday.

Have we decided a time? No, we have not. Okay. So we'll do a meeting tomorrow, you and me, and talk about what time. And we'll also have to talk about when are we doing our conversation, chat. Oh yeah, we have to do that. Because I feel that that's another important, you know, because like you always say, that's for

the YouTube. That's for the YouTube channel. That's for the YouTube chat. Chewing the fat. The YouTube channel chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Yeah, we have to do that for YouTube. And that's, that will be titled, uh, are you a grandpa or not? Something like that.

Oh, I like that. I like that. Is it, is it grandpa talk or not? By the way, I want to, uh, I see, you know, we're about to hit the one hour mark. if you listen to the podcast. Well, just tighten it up. If you're the producer, just edit it down. I will edit it down and I'll make sure it's not an hour and a half.

But I want to bring up two items. I told you. You think I'm joking when I mean, I could sit down with this thing and we can just go. I could go for like two or three hours every day. I want to bring two items. One is Jeremy, Brian, Michael, Scott, Barry, Don, Jeff, Chuck, Bob. Joleen Joe Natalie Ryan Brett Robert Mandy Paul Jude Derek Colin Jewel Just peachy we hear you and we have your record of you want to participate

Wow those are just some of the people joining us nice that's page one out of four So welcome and also you pissed me off this morning with that Quibi story and I feel that we're not gonna get to it today because You've got to talk about the Quibi stuff, though. Because I just wanted to know, if you are a, if you have downloaded Quibi and are watching the shows because of us, I am, yesterday, I sat down to watch a show and have my, and it was in between time.

I was having lunch. And I thought, oh, I can catch a couple of quibby shows. And I sat down and I just, I just sat down my, and I had my phone turned horizontal. And the show started playing. Wait, what? Playing horizontal. No, no, no.

And I was like, wait, what? That's not possible. You know, then I move it back. It goes back to vertical. It goes back and forth. I can watch horizontal or vertical. Now, I'll be damned. That was not like that.

And then I went back and looked at some of their press releases early on. And there's some of their press releases early on said that they was going to be able to do that. But I know for a fact with our reviews and when we were using it, it would not be. do that. No. No, because we were upset. Yes. So I want to say you're welcome. Absolutely. For

alerting quibby that that was not on their app ready to go. And they just made it. It was just like oh, don't say anything. Just activate it. Because that's what happened. I'm telling you that's what happened.

That really, I was just incredible you're welcome see because that you know a little baseball inside that happened right after we recorded the show jeffy texted me and as soon he's texting me i tried it and i sent him a text w tf and then i'm checking everything i'm like did this send an update and the only thing i could think of is us complaining and doing not just one review i feel like we'll be doing a review for like two weeks now. I did two on YouTube and I've done three or four on podcasts. And the last

six podcasts all have Quibi on the title or the description. And this is another one that is bothering me because you told me, hey Quibi's doing great. Because Yeah, Meg Whitman. I read a quote told CNBC

that they had 1.7 million downloads the first week. And I thought to myself, before you get to what made you angry. I thought to myself, okay, well, okay,

so 1.7 million downloads that first week, they're giving away 90 days free, right? They're giving away 90 days free. A,

I'd like to know how many of those paid and B, how many of those do you think are going to transfer to being paid? Mm-hmm.

Because I don't, not only the 90 days, there was no option, okay, fine. You want to give people 90 days to try your product, more power to you because that means

that you have that, much faith in your product. And they should. Their product has been great. Their content is good. What was this? It's a $1.7 billion or $1.1.7 billion or

$1.7 million? What they got the startup money was a lot. 1.7 billion. It was a lot. Let's put $1.7 and $1 billion of that money went to Christiagan. That's another day. $18 billion with a startup. That just upsets me.

But the thing that I saw when I saw, was getting my 90 day is there was no option let's say I really want to believe and I believe in this full-on quibby that it's time to watch TV differently I didn't have a chance to do like a year subscription like Disney did but like people like stew people like Pat like Glenn they got like 15 years subscription with just got it out of the way yeah just get out of the way fine how much you need $3,000 okay I'm in for two years. So I didn't see that.

And I honestly feel that out of that $1.7 million dollars that they are saying that they got the first week, I don't think that many people are going to pay for. I see them paying the $4.99 a month with the ad, you know, because you get ads in that one. Yeah. But $7.99? No way. Without ads. And plus, with the ads, I don't see how.

that translates into being able to pay for the content that they're producing. No. Christy Teigen's show. Oh, I did catch that too yesterday. I watched two episodes for you. Oh, well, you did more than that because I just watched one and I threw my phone to the wall. I had to go by any phone. And I watched all the other shows I watched were really good.

I have no issues. I know I fish and I know you said, you wish this is not true, but I'm telling you it is true because of the power cast that that first episode has, I feel that Christy Teigen show is the most expensive show in that entire network. I don't, no way. I feel that that show took a billion dollars just to produce. If that's true, shut it down.

Unbelievable. And the reason why this story got me all upset is because what was the chick said? The downloads they got? Meg Whitman, CEO of Quibi. 1.7 million downloads in the first week. Okay. According to Censor Tower, who stores intelligence

platforms, revealed that 300,000 300,000 users downloaded the app of Quibi on its first day. Okay, well, this was the week, though. This was the week.

1.7 million for the week. 300,000 the first day. That could turn into it. a million seven for the week. Ah! I think that I helped in that. I'd like to say that we helped in that. In that first week, I believe that.

And even before, we talked about it before, I gave them a little before because I love the idea. I think it's great. And they were, to give them credit two days ago, they were the number three on the app store. Yeah, I just find it incredible. I don't know how they're going to sustain creating the content that they're creating.

without you know 18 billion dollars a year no it's I don't understand it either because the content that are creating first of all they're creating content that's great and they're creating content that sucks I mean they're creating there's all kinds of content that they're creating that they're spending all kinds of money out like Christy Teigen that sucks yeah and that's a show is terrible that's the problem with that show is just it sucks in a bad way because there shows sucks and you're willing to finish the show. And I could give you...

I could give you two shows like that. Station 19 and 911 Lone Star. Those shows suck. But guess what? Well, N11Lone Lone Star actually started to try to get better. But it was too late. Because the only people that were watching it was me and you. I got my wife going, well, they're trying to get better.

And I wanted them to go better. But I feel that the reason, and I'll tell you why, that you're hanging on that, because you like the original. And so you're giving Lone Star the shot. You're giving my shot to, to, come on, it's Texas. I know. You expected to be good. You kept expecting, you know, at least you sat there going, well, maybe we'll do a crossover. Yes.

Yes. I was waiting for a crossover. I was waiting for, hey, let's start. 911, big apple. Yeah. 911. Sunshine State. 911.

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