Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 365 | Blue Angels v. Thunderbirds, Fauci Beer Can, & Shelley Luther in Jail?

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Day 55 inside CQB: What happen to the Thunderbirds and where are the Blue Angels? Another working theory of why the Thunderbirds and Blue Angels split.... Stu Does Jeffy and Jeffy thinks about a question. What would you do for 100 million dollars? In 1957 and 1968 the world got hit with the flu that originated in Asia and we didn't shut things down, Kris Cruz has a working theory and Jeffy questions that theory. You get a show and you get a show... YES, it seems like everyone is getting a tv show. For example Justin Bieber and his wife are getting a tv show. Then before the show ends it was announced that Selena Gomez gets a cooking tv show in HBO MAX and Jeffy gets upset. Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get no frills delivered. Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $2.50 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. And now a Blaze Media podcast. Hello. Welcome to chewing the fat. You know, the scientist who prompted the lockdown in Britain,

I mean, he prompted, people were paying attention to him, Professor Neil Ferguson. He, and he was adamant on strict social distancing, adamant, lecturing the public of social distancing. He had to resign last night. I know, I know he broke social distancing rules. He didn't walk down the aisle the wrong way at a grocery store. he didn't try to sneak up on people walking down the sidewalk no he had his girlfriend come over

you know the married one with the husband and kids who he's having an affair with yes she just came over to the house and he got busted I'm telling you if you're a spouse and I don't mean this in a bad way I hope it's not happening to you

but we've talked about how couples are struggling now for being together so long And if your spouse is going on a walk a couple nights a week, and that walk entails, I don't know, four, five, six hour walk, you may, may have an issue. It's possible. I was on Stude Show Friday, whatever it's called, Stupid. I'm gonna, I wanna interrupt you for a second there because as the intro, as the intro was playing, I feel like you just hit at home really good because my wife started to walk. And is there something that you know that I don't know?

No. Because she started to walk and now she's walking every single day. She leaves at 9 o'clock, comes back around 10.30. Oh, that's an hour and a half, though. That's no problem. Quicky, in and out, you have to worry about it. So do I need to wear about this? Because I feel that you have inside information that I don't have.

If it's an hour and a half, you're fine. Okay. So that's, if there's an affair going on, and I'm not saying there is. I'm just saying that. I don't like that at all. If there is, it's just a quickie with, you know, somebody around in the neighborhood. So there's nothing really to worry about it. It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't have anything to do with you. It's just her. Okay. So you're fine. You're fine. Now if it starts to go into that three, four, five, six hour walk, now you might have an issue. Okay. So you're saying that hour and a half, that's normal.

She's just walking around. I didn't say that. Oh, you didn't say that. Okay. So I should be worried about this. No, you don't have to worry. I'm just saying if it's, you know, it's possible that she is just going for a regular walk. It is possible.

but if she's not, it doesn't mean anything. It's just a quickie, on and out. Okay, so you were on Sto's show and what happened? Don't make you feel better? Absolutely not. So you were in Sto's shows and what happened? I was thinking about this this morning. You know, I was on Sto's show Friday.

Well, that's a long way of thinking. Today's Wednesday. I know, and I've been thinking about it the last few days. What's this stupid show called? Studez America. Yeah, yeah, whatever. What did he do when you were on the show? What's that?

Who did he do on the show? Oh, Stu does Jeff. Yeah. Okay, I like that. I don't remember. We got to talking about the Michael Jordan story about... Oh, the... Turning down $100 million.

Yeah, that's a documentary, right? Well, Jordan is in the news because of that documentary, yes. But this story was not... Part of that. From the documentary. Oh, okay. But he's in the news, so the WFAN, the radio station had his manager on, and I'm sure that's the reason they had him on

because Jordan is in the news with the documentary. They get his manager on, you tie it into the documentary. You know, that's just the way radio works. I don't know if you know that. So his manager's on, and he's talking to the host on WFA, and he tells a story

about a deal that he brought Michael a few years ago worth a hundred million bucks. All he has to do, other than giving his name and likeness, which is huge in an out of itself. Absolutely. He has to make a two-hour appearance. So it's not just a two-hour appearance.

It's his name and likeness as well. But it makes it sound like he has to show up for a couple hours. He gets $100 million. And Michael says, no, I'm not doing that. So, you know, it appears that he's saying no to $100 million for a two-hour appearance, which he kind of is, except that, you know, his name and likeness is going to be on, you know, some stupid product for the rest of his life and he doesn't want to have it. that stupid product for the rest of his life.

I get that. But the question was, is there anything I wouldn't do for a hundred million bucks? I mean, even Michael's son, even Michael's son, Marcus chimed in. You know what I mean? Complex Sports tweeted out about the story,

saying Jordan was offered $100 million to appear at an event for two hours. He said no. Again, not really the story, but it sounds better that way. Absolutely, yeah. So Marcus's comment quote tweets the complex sports tweet going shoot should have hit me a line i could have finessed this dad i got a huge event i'm going to need you to slide to really funny that is funny

now back to the question is there anything you wouldn't do for a hundred million dollars now i answered stew on friday i had to think about it for about two seconds with the answered no. So I've been thinking about it the last few days. Is this where you're going to like break it down and have been thinking about it for the last few days. Let me let me tell you how I thought about it. Is there anything I went to do for a hundred million bucks? Nope. I'm thinking about I'm talking about it too. I don't think there's anything. No, I will do that too. Okay. Okay. Now let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's take that to the test. Okay. 100 million bucks kill your way. Yes. Next.

100 million bucks, you kid. Yes. Next. I think you were supposed to make this difficult. 100 million. 100 million bucks. I don't know what. Cut your arm off.

Absolutely. Absolutely. You know how many dreams I've had of me being bionic? I already have bionic ankles. I want an arm or on the leg. I'm in. I've got a fake knee. I've got body parts missing.

Yeah. And by the way, think about it. This shoulder or this elbow, I'd have to do the left. This elbow is all screwed up. Get rid of it. Yeah, you get rid of the one that doesn't work anymore. So pick up. Yeah.

So the answer is no. Yes. Nothing. The answer is yes, there is nothing I would do for a hundred million. Absolutely. It's a hundred million dollars. I know, but the first two questions are tough. Absolutely not Fisher.

It is not. No, because. I can have more kids. Thank you. another wife. Thank you. Crap, her family listens to this stupid podcast, so I am screwed. Can you give me the $100 million now so that could get me a new identity?

Just be clear. It's hypothetical. Oh, absolutely. It's hypothetical. It's not going to happen. Not like someone is banging down the door saying, I'll give you $100 million if you get rid of this person. If it's not a family member, they're gone. Oh, absolutely.

I mean, that's even quicker that's even quicker than a family member. Isn't that what Tiger King got in trouble for? It kind of. I mean, he got in trouble for hiring someone to get rid of somebody. Okay. It was $100 million.

I still get the story wrong. It looks like I definitely have to see this because I try to tie almost everything to Tiger King and I get it the opposite. Not quite right. No, it's just the opposite. And by the way, as we are recording this, Aren't the stupid blue angels supposed to pass over us?

Yeah, my wife is out at taking pictures as we speak. I don't hear them. That's why I have the window open. I know. Well, they should be in this neck of the woods pretty soon. Yeah. But they're supposed to be in this neck of the woods. You're right.

They should have been by this neck of the woods. It should have been done. They run out of gas? What are they doing? Oh, hold on. Oh, no, that's a car. 1117 a.m. Central. We could be broadcasting live from the Blue Angels flying over D.F.

Yeah, they're supposed to be, and they're pretty close to where we're at. Yeah. They're coming right now. They're coming right over you. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Then they're making a left.

And it should be good. They're probably coming right over me. Yeah. They're supposed to make a left just past you and come back over me. Yep. Because my wife is in the middle of us. So they were supposed to pass the airport at the DFW airport at 1117. There's no way that the Blue Angels take 10 minutes from the airport to.

to me. Yeah. Well, they stop for a coffee. Oh, okay. There's a couple of Starbucks and the Starbucks are back open now, right? Social distancing. And believe me, if you're ordering a coffee from the Blue Angel plane, that's social distancing. Oh, you're good. Definitely social distancing. Yeah, they stop for, you know, fresh vanilla. Yeah, we should be hearing those bad boys. No question. And we're providing you a live coverage from DFW and the Blue Angels. And I talked a little bit about that this morning on Pat on Leash because of the fight. that started. Yeah, okay, you got me really upset at 6.30 in the morning, and I do not like that.

Because here comes the high horse navy and say, okay, Thunderbirds, go back. No, I don't think it was that. I don't know. And so they announced this America Strong campaign, and it was going to be the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds. Yes. And they did a few events. They did the East Coast.

They did Atlanta. And then they were going to come over this way. and this weekend, late Sunday, early Monday, it was announced that no more Thunderbirds, there's no more togetherness, we're going back home. And the Blue Angels are doing it all by themselves. This makes me think that the Thunderbirds are needed more than the Blue Angels. I don't think so. No, the Blue Angels are still performing.

Exactly. So they're like, oh yeah, you do your thing. You perform for America. Thunderbirds, we need you back. did something. The Thunderbird did something to the Blue Angels pissed him off the Blue Angels, so get out. So you think that the Air Force pissed off the Navy? Yeah. No, no. No, no. The Navy did something dumb. They made one too many gay jokes and the Thunder was like, I cannot hang out. I can't hang out with stupid idiots. All I know, all I know is the Thunderbird put their little

wings between their tails. And by the way, I did not like that comment you made this morning. That comment you made this morning, I wanted to call in so bad and curse you out. Because I know you did that on purpose. The little Air Force put the wings between the legs and they went home. That's what I know. I read the stories, Chris, and that's what it says to you. That's what it says to me. And the Thunderbird said, we're going to announce that we're going to do our own thing in the next couple days.

Good. Good. You know what? Good. Are you going to fly over Dubuque, are you? Okay, thank you. All right, just as a side note, I want to be on the Blue Angel side here

because the Thunderbirds, you know, tucked wings between their tails and flew back home, but the Blue Angels have not showed up here at DFW yet, and they were supposed to have already been here and gone. So perhaps that's why the Thunderbirds left, because the Blue Angels are just late, lazy, not doing their jobs. We're the Blue Angels. have to do anything and the Thunderbird had enough.

What is this stupid campaign supposed to be called? The what? The stupid campaign that America First, America Prime. No, America Strong. America Strong. America Strong campaign. And they were tweeting. I like that. I like their live tweeting. Hopefully it's voice command tweeting. 52. And by the way, I know why the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds quit. I know it. As soon as I clicked on the tweet, it told me, Blue Angels are Android. I bet you thunderbirds are iPhone.

I bet you that. Hold on. Let me go find me the Thunderbirds. It's really funny and probably true. Dude, I click on the Thunderbirds, iPhone. I click on the Blue Angels, Android. America's divided. Recording. So we know that times and things have changed.

in America. There's no question about it. Right. I mean, we're divided between, I mean, the blue angels and the Thunderbirds are fighting because the Blue Angels are Android. The Thunderbirds are iPhone. We broke that story here on chewing the fat. Period. No one else is telling you that in America. Want to know how else we've changed? We have the defiant salon owner in Dallas, right? She wants to open up her salon. They tell her no. She gets put in jail because she will not say I'm sorry she will not bend the knee to the crown thrown in jail

what's that Dana Lash No that's no that's not no I just check her tweet Pint tweet and that's the new one so you need to stop Stop copying Dana Lash or at least

bend the knee to the crown Dana Lash No, she's talking about the rage mob, which is mine anyway. Give her credit. If you're going to steal something from her, give her credit. So Shelly Luther, seven days in jail, because she won't say she's sorry, $7,000 fine. That cannot stand, right? I mean, that judge, Eric Moyet and his other buddy down there in Dallas, Clay Jenkins, Judge Jenkins, that cannot stand.

It just can't. We're throwing people in jail because she wants to open her business. That is incredible. At the same time, I see this story this morning talking about 1957, all right, how times have changed in 1957. In February of 1957, the Asian flu killed 116,000 Americans. Did we close down everything? Did we shut down America? No, no.

It estimated 1.1 million deaths worldwide to the Asian flu. You were racist, by the way. I just want to throw that out there before you continue. You're racist. Okay, so it's the H2N2. Thank you. Asian flu. But I'm just saying 116,000 Americans died.

We did not shut down anything. We did not. shut down anything incredible they didn't I mean they didn't they just it was a little you know be careful yeah but did they have internet back in the day no did they have phones and cars in 157 computers and internet and news and no and they had no and there had no airplanes back in the day they did have airplanes no they didn't have airplanes did they not have cruise ships yeah they didn't have trains there was no you know you know know, public buses.

There was not even a local government. There was no hair salons. There was no fast food joints. There was no movie theaters. There was no tattoo parlors. There was nothing. It was just houses and hospitals and dirt and horses and buggies. That's right.

Yeah. At 1957. That's what people will have you believe. Absolutely. But it's absolutely not true. Now, we have evolved since 1950s. 1957 there's plenty more people on the planet television and communication internet radio even radio it's all so different than it was then no question about it however we didn't shut everything down

yeah because we did not have that stuff i i feel like you're missing the key point here fisher in 1957 in February, America did not have none of the stuff I listed. But we did. So what is there to close? It's like saying, we're going to close the salon and people in 1957 and saying,

what's a salon? That's a salon. Yeah, you know what? You're right. Thank you. You're right. When you're right, you're right.

All right, I'd as well get to get to some headlines. I know we teased some headlines yesterday, so we'll do some headlines. We know we have the pandemic beers going on. We haven't talked about that. There's a local brewery, brewery. I can't say the word brewery, B-R-E-W-E-R-Y. There weren't breweries in America. in 1957 either.

There's new beer, the Fauci beer cans are out. So that should be fun to go ahead and get that. We also have top Chinese leaders are telling people to prepare for armed confrontation with the U.S. over coronavirus lies. Okay. That's the lasting China wants. I know I know we're scared of them. And by us, I mean the retells, the TV stations, the NBO, I know we're scared of them.

Well, it's because we like their money. Yes. They're on there. We've all gotten used to their money. Yes. We got it. That's the last thing you want to do right now. I just pause you for a one moment here.

And I say we all have gotten used to the Chinese money. I have not gotten used to the Chinese money. Oh, no. Because I have not received any Chinese money. Now, if China would like to send me some money, I am all of them. No. about the China regime. Oh, man.

I am China, China, you know what? Even the China flag. I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,

last time you called the president she, uh, Winnie de Pooh, and you said that he's, that was not him. That's a buddy double.

Yeah, so I don't think China is going to give you money. I think China's just going to, but for a hundred million bucks. 100 million bucks. I was lying. I was wrong. That was President Xi and he's probably the best world leader ever of all time. Is it 100 million dollars or 100 million whatever they give over there? It's got to be it's got to be America. Okay. All right. Then yes. Then President Xi is the best president.

Oh, absolutely. I'm not taking a wire. I want that ballot back. Yes. I do not want a Wyatt Trafford. Oh, hell no. I want just like America drop money in Iraq. I want that drop to be the same year. I want the fact, just leave the trailer. Yes. I'll take care of. Just leave the trailer, you know what? And you can, you know, fine.

You can deduct the trailer from the $100 million. Fine. No. I will not have that out. Okay. So, since Jeffrey said no to that, I bet you China's like, oh, we're going to go to Chris Cruz.

It's going to cost us less. He's going to go ahead and absorb the payment for the trailer. Yes. Oh, okay. And the shipping. I'll take the shipping and the trailer cost. I want free shipping, man. You don't give me free shipping. I'm not getting the product. That's just the way it is. We have Venezuela. You heard the big story about, you know, they were trying to overthrow Venezuela that got shot down. Yeah, didn't they say that they captured two Americans and they were going to kill them? Yeah, well, they have two U.S. mercenaries that were nabbed during the array, the attempted coup. now the U.S. obviously is denying any involvement.

And who are you going to believe? Venezuela? The United States of America. America? Yes, 100%. Right? I mean, you can joke around all you want, but you're believing in the United States

that we had absolutely nothing to do with that. If we wanted to take over Venezuela, do you think we are sending in a rag-tag crew to have a Maduro taken down? We killed Kim Jong-un like two weeks ago. You think we're going to do it Hello Have you not seen

Private Ryan? No, not prior I was Jack Ryan? Thank you. Have you not seen 24? Have you not seen any of the movies that we've made Saying Here's how to kill a dictator

I mean the second season of Jack Ryan The second season documentary Was all about Venezuela Yeah, you told me Did not watch it because you're upset at me I just watch it again, too, with my father-in-law. Oh, okay. Yeah.

He was looking for something to watch. So you know what else I'm in that aside? Now I'm going down to TV watching. I am so hooked on Ray Donovan on Showtime. Wow. Are you paying for that? Or are you doing it? After me to watch Ray Donovan.

I want to apologize for them for blowing them on. Is it really good? It's been great. It's really dark. Oh. Is it a big boy? Ray is pretty much What's the word I'm looking for?

The devil But I love him I love him He's freaking Ray Donovan man Is it a big boy show? Oh yes Like a big big boy show? Oh yes

Okay All right Yeah I'm in I'm in It is a big boy show Yes 100%

Okay Sex, drugs and rock and roll baby Oh so all of it just like in the 1957 then you have that back in the day so it's seven seasons what seven seasons I mean I have been

buried it to Ray Donovan are they done or they're still producing it just got the boot now people are wanting to get it back and he's Liv Shriver is Ray Donovan and he has been claiming on his social media he's been thanking everybody for trying to get the show back so I don't know if showtime is going to give him another season

or if Netflix is going to give it another season But I would venture to say that Ray Donovan comes at somewhere. You think he's... Especially, you know, even on Quibi. Have you finished? No, I mean, I haven't another in the last season. You're in the last season. So so far...

I just started... Okay, never mind then. Because I was going to say, is there any feel for another season? I'm sure there is. I mean, I was told that it ends on a cliffhanger. So they were obviously planning on a next season and didn't get it. Although each season...

It could close. Yeah. They just... Each season could just end. The cliffhanger is not really a cliffhanger. It's just as an audience member, you're like, okay, I would like to know more about... Yes. You want to see where Ray goes at?

Yes. Yes, yes, yeah. By the way, since you opened the door about Quibi, did you see that Quibi just dropped new shows? Yes. I see him. I'm all in. I think I'll be paying for Quibi. I don't know.

Because they did the one thing I always... always wanted was more of Reno 911. See, not me. Really? Got off. Oh, my gosh. I swear you're going to stop talking now. Great.

Seeing the whole cast, they have the entire cast is back. Are we, why are you still talking about it? Oh, it was so good. No, we're done. Why, the recording isn't even on now. Last time I checked, it was. Okay, so I'm still stuck on the, uh, the flu in 1957.

Go ahead, you're racist. Go ahead. Call it what you called it earlier. It's the Asian flu. Yeah, racist. I just want to apologize to the Asian community that listens to us. It was reported in Singapore in February of 1957. And it was reported in Hong Kong in April of 1957.

Again, we lost 116,000 lives in the United States from the Asian flu. You raise you. All right. The H2N2. And, uh, we do we close everything down? No. Now, again, you know, Chris is quick to remind you that we didn't have. No, we didn't have, we didn't have, we have hair salons, tattoo parlors, movie theaters, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Listen to the podcast. And there was only 172 million people in the United States at the time. Okay. So, I mean, hardly nobody lived here. No, absolutely. It was like, field. is like you have one house here and the next house was like a hundred miles away.

So as you read on it talks about how then that flu persisted and then it kind of died down a little bit. Yeah, which is what everybody's saying. And then 10 years later in 1968, we had another flu. The Hong Kong flu come through the U.S.

So. And there. That's when we closed everything down because by 1968, we had movie theaters. We had salons, tattoo parlors, non-essential workers. Now that's when they started joining the force. Right. So. I feel like you're going to correct me?

Yeah, I mean, no, no, you're right. Oh, okay. Okay, so I was correct. Good. Because in 1960, I was not born. I feel like you were born in our... In 1968? Yeah.

You were already part of the world. I don't remember. I don't remember 1968. I mean, my wife wasn't born. My wife wasn't born until in the 70s. Really?

She's that young? I thought she was older than you. Which one? The first one or the second one? Well, the one I have now. Okay. Is she there? You looked at the door.

Now I'm scared. No, I was looking to see it was still closed. I mean, let's just go to the bridge. break room and get a drink of Coke Zero and be done with it. I know, I know, I know, I know, but I need Coke Zero. It's an addiction. Oh my gosh.

That is so good. Remember to subscribe to the podcast. You know, this one, chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher. Yeah, that one. Subscribe. Just pick a platform. I don't care which one. Whatever warms the little or big cockles of your heart and, uh, some,

subscribe. Thank you. Appreciate it. So I've had some entertainment news, some exciting news for you, Mr. Law & Order, Chris Cruz. It looks like Christopher Maloney is returning to Law and Order for season 22. They don't know when shooting is going to start, but he's already signed the deal to come back. And his deal was supposed to be the end of this last season, 21. But since coronavirus shut it down, they're just going to wait and bring him back on 22. So, apparently he's and it wouldn't be surprised if they're setting up another show right where he because he's what was his stupid name? Stabler yeah Stabler right yeah detector stableer he's going to be part of a new organized crime unit and I bet you that's going to be the new law and order yeah because he left

long time ago after season 12 So 10 years ago. And it's very interesting because I thought he was the one that slapped. But no, that was Criminal Minds, our other show that we like that just finished. I thought he was the one that slapped the right. Yeah, no, that's not Christopher Malone. Yeah, I don't forget Criminal Minds boy. But yeah, he was the one that was slapping everybody and yelling and screaming at everybody on the set.

They didn't even bring him back for the final show, right? I mean, he was. I was really surprised about that. I knew. Okay, so I knew there was something. Okay. yes he left because of the paid dispute because his contract expired uh between season 12 and 13 and he was renegotiating his terms and nothing happened oh so he's and you've seen him everywhere

oh he's everywhere now absolutely FX took him and gave him a brand new show and they really yeah no seriously i was just joking because i haven't seen him oh no yes yes effects gave me that wouldn't been that big because I certainly don't remember seeing it. Go to his IMDB page. Christopher Lohen tell me what he's been working on because certainly it has not been much. I'm sorry. No. He did his little prison thing on HBO. That was huge. And then and then Law & Order. So the funds are starting to die down a little bit for Chris. Okay. So he did no thank you. I do not want to pay for INDB. Why did they keep telling me that to pay for IMDB? Because they want subscribers. I don't want to pay.

Okay, so he did Rick and Morty, the new version that just started again. Oh, my gosh, was just hilarious. And then, yes, he was, D.C. took him in so that he could play the commissioner Gordon on Harley Quinn cartoon version that is very adult. He was in Family Guy. So that's not, I'm sorry. Yes, he was on the handsmate's tail. But that's not him. It was in handsmate's tail.

And then for Oh, that's right. Yeah, he wasn't happy. For three seasons, he did happy, which is him like super drunk. It has an imaginary. That's the one,

the FX one. I mean, that's not FX sci-fi. He did American Dad. He did Pose. He did a wet, hot American summer. That was on Netflix. He was great on that.

He did Underground for 20 episodes. Oh, yeah. Wow. so yeah he's been out there he has been working yeah so he has sci-fi Netflix a couple of times

but he's not paying him the money maybe the the animated stuff is making him some cash but that stuff's not paying him the money that law and order was oh no so if he's got the new deal with NBC for a new series of the organized crime unit which I'm surprised they haven't

broke that up before the OCU, the criminal justice system, organized crime. That'll pay them some big cash. We'll get some money for that. And then we have, you know, there were big news about,

have you watched extraction on Netflix yet? No, that's on my list. I started, and it's like their biggest thing. Now, they're saying it's, you know, pacing to be the biggest movie premiere ever. Yes, but with Hemsworth. Yeah. But I started watching.

watching it. I hate you so much. I've been watching it from behind the scenes because Chris keeps posting BTS film on his Instagram because he did all his stunts. I believe he's trying to be the next Tom Cruise

to do all his stunts on this, you know. It was he itching to get into the space movie? Probably. He was already in space, so um, I mean, like he hasn't made any money in the last few years. Oh no. What was he?

Thor on four movies. And then he was part of the Avengers or like eight movies. It'll be okay. And, you know, just like a little bit of Avengers end game. They made one movie to two movies. And it was surrounded him, Iron Man, and Phanos. But no, no, no. He's suffering.

And he did a fat suit for the last movie. So. I know. Great. And he's a meme. We have a new show with Justin Bieber and Hallie Baldwin. On Quibi? That wouldn't surprise me, no, but it's a Facebook watch series.

Ugh. Oh, it's like, I know. So like Yoda, Yada, whatever Will Smith's wife or partner is. Yeah. Yeah. She does the red table or the round table. Yeah, with mom and daughter. Jump on the table or whatever the hell it is.

Nope. She's that joke. What is it? I don't know. It's round table with. with mom and dad. Yeah, it's like red table, coffee table.

Which, did you see that Will Smith also now has a TV show on Snapchat? He has a talk show on Snapchat. And he just brought back the entire, well, the people that are alive,

cast of Fresh Prince of Bel Air on his show. It was fascinating and riveting. Seeing those people super old. Good friend. Good for you. I'm happy for. I didn't...

So Justin and Haley are opening up their home for the new Beaver's On Watch. Ew. Ew. That's gross. It's a 12-episode show. It could be filmed on GoPro cameras in and around their Toronto home. Well, yeah, there's no...

You can't do anything else. You can't have a film crew. Now, they've already... We've already seen... Oh, man, the premiere episode already has... Justin and Haley venturing out to a nearby lake for a boat ride. Social distancing. And they get candid about highs and lows of their relationship. They're together for what, like a year?

Yes. The highs and lows of their relationship? Oh, Fisher, you know, you've been married twice. You know, that first year. That's when everything happens, you know, you clashing worlds. There's no highs and lows. Stop it. Unless, I mean, I mean, Haley is, you know, who her dad is.

so she's you know maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree oh definitely he has some medicine yeah Justin's gotta keep her heavily medicating oh yes she's like her dad we've got to medicate and another great show

starting that I mentioned this morning I just want to want you to mark it down on your calendars okay one month Saturday June 6 Saturday June 6 okay Dear Class of 2020, it's a YouTube show for graduates. It's a graduation ceremony.

You're going to get commencement speeches and a joint message from Barack and Michelle Obama. You're going to get performances from BTS, Lady Gaga. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is showing up. Defense Secretary, Robert M. Gates, why do you want to hear from him? I don't know. Alphabet and Google CEO is going to show.

up. I just, it's going to be a great night. It's going to be a great night on YouTube originals and YouTube Learn at Home site. It's a multi-hour event. And the first hour, if just that wasn't enough, you're going to get an opening hour of Michelle's retired initiative for a full hour before your class of 2020. So, If anything, wants you to talk about coronavirus numbers, it's going to be that. I'll tell you that. All right, total coronavirus cases worldwide 3,778,12 as we record this today. 261,311 total death worldwide.

Here in the United States of America, 1,244,302 total cases. 72,867 total death as of this recording. That means we'll break 73,000 today. And China coming in still under 83,000 at 82,883 total cases, but they have two new cases as of this recording. So, I mean, they're getting there. TSA, numbers through the turnstiles. Yesterday, oh, 130,601.

Wow, they went way up. They had a couple days in there. The last five days, three of the last five were over 150, 171, 171, 171, 163. But two of them were 130s, and yesterday was one of the 130s. So I don't know. I don't know. We talked this morning on Pat, how they were going to start charging. It was a smart move where they were going to be forced to keep.

the middle seat empty, but they're going to charge for that now. So I don't, is there not going to be social distancing or is it,

you know, they're going to charge your extra money to have the middle seat empty. So I... Hold on. What?

I know. They were talking about a frontier airline. Okay. What's saying they were going to charge an extra 29 bucks or something like that

to make sure that that middle seat gets paid for will be empty so does that mean that if a plane ticket is forty two dollars they're going to tack on that money from the middle seat yeah frontier frontier that's not good so i'm not sure i mean all the other airlines delta and american airlines have relaxed you know their seating right so the middle seats are empty or blocked. Yeah. Frontier says that they're going to charge $39.

You can pick the more room option when booking a flight. So it's now going to offer 18 more room seats for purchase. Well, that's confusing to me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess I pay the extra money. money to be for sure. And I know that the middle seat is going to be empty.

But I thought the middle seat was going to be empty anyway. Yes. But no. But this is frontier only. For now. Yeah, for now. I think the other airlines are going to go, ooh, good move frontier. We can charge people to have the middle seat empty.

I know what the middle seat was going to be empty anyway. Yeah, yeah. we're going to charge people extra to make sure that it's not going to remain empty. Okay. All right. Good luck. God bless. 130,000 through the turnstiles at TSA.

Good luck getting that extra fee. Download and subscribe to more content at theblease.com slash podcasts. We got a couple of things important to get to on the podcast today on Chewing the Fat. And I want to thank you for coming along for the ride and listening. and I really mean that. Thank you very much. And thank everyone who showed up for the Friday Zoom. What do we call that stupid thing again?

Figure it out. Why did we call it figure it out? That doesn't make any sense. Just like this show. Well, thanks for coming to figure it out. I don't remember that we called it figured it out. But I don't remember. Why didn't we call it like the CTF virtual happy hour or something?

Why do we call it figure it out? Because that's actually the name of the happy island. See, I knew it would be better than figure it out. Anyway, a couple of things. We have to find out what happened. Did you talk to the Fort Worth people about your lawn? And you're warning that the shot across the bow to keep your lawn mode and you're on the list now for 12 months. Are you technically in Fort Worth?

How are they enforcing it with you when I didn't think you lived in Fort Worth? It's because you get Fort Worth water or something and they're in charge of you? Yes. I want to know. I want to know all those things. Okay. You want to know the answer? I just asked. Beep! You've contacted the city of Fort Worth.

Please leave a message after the beat. What? Yeah, I'm waiting for them to call me back. You have got to be kidding me. No, I'm waiting for them to call me back. So you don't talk to anyone? Oh, I talked to somebody. I pressed one and two, and no one picked up the line, and I left a message. what did you go to the website and try to do the little chat motive or something no i did the phone number

that they gave me it's on a piece of paper so you haven't talked to anyone about this no i did i talked to but you did talk to anyone but i did we don't know the outcome we don't know how they can how they can warn you we know none of that i think the letter the letter was very clear I violated the rules and in order for me to fight I have to contact his phone number I understand that you violated the rules but how can they set rules

for someone that doesn't live in Fort Worth? I don't know I'm waiting for Karen to call me back who you've got to be because you get water and trash or something from them no I get water and trash from them my trash can says Fort Worth yep

yeah that's why so they oh how can they override that and and when I call 911 I have to get transferred because they can dispatch. Yeah, yep, just like here. The deal where we live, we're the last the tornado house.

Yep. We haven't had to call 911 at this house yet. We ought to do it just to see. But the old tornado house was, please hold. Yep. Yep. Wow, incredible.

Even the dispatchers. We'll keep you in for it. I have to find out what the heck is doing. Because you're going to come home one day. I know. Stop. Stop. Stop.

promise this is going to happen. Stop. And I, on behalf of America, I don't want it to happen. On behalf of me, I cannot wait until it happens. You were going to come home one day and Bill is going to be out there or George is going to be out there with his crew that's here on the HB1 visas. Yep. They are going to be mowing your lawn and trimming your hedges and you're going to get a bill for $8,000.

Absolutely. And what's funny is, What's funny is I didn't make contact with the neighborhood, and the neighborhood is piss. So you weren't the only one. It was not the only one. So it's a revenue enhancer. That's exactly the only one. So me and a couple other houses have joined together, and now we're calling complaints on anything that's owned by the city, and it's way over 12 inches, and we're reporting them.

Yeah. I mean, call, I mean, do any, find any rule? that goes against them and file complaints. Call the news. Call the local news. Everything, man. It's agonizing. So, all right, we'll find.

I can't wait. I just want to see the bill for eight grand. That's all I want. I think that's what I'm living for now. Just know that if I get a bill, if I get a bill for eight grand, just know that I'm going to put it as a expense to the show. Just know that's going to happen. That's fine. You go right ahead and do that.

No problem. You put as much money on that bill as you want, my friend. Don't worry about it. So the Royals. We haven't talked about the Royals at a while. And I have a story talking about how Harry and Megan are going to, you know, break some old rules. Like they haven't been doing that anyway. They're going to write some book now.

We're actually going to talk to the authors of their book. Of their book. There's a couple of new books. books out that we have to talk to be the official the official book i forgot what it's called i have it on my emails the official book according to harper collings thoroughly modern royals finding freedom harry and magans and the making of the modern royal family okay that's going to that's going to be the official um acquisition that's how they have it here harper collins acquired the world rights for finding free.

So. Okay. I want some inside information. Now today, if you're listening live on the 6th of May 2020, is Archie's birthday. Yes, it's been one year.

Can you believe that? Bigelberry. That kid is a year old. I know. Wow. It's been one year since they swapped kids and gave them a white kid for whatever.

We came in and said this one can't be my grandkids. No. Find me a red head. Find me a redhead and get him in here. Yep. So technically, if you remember right from last year, the queen visited three days before Archie was born. Yeah, I think it was, yeah, so he was born even before that.

No, really. Yes. So he's been a year old. He's already way past his breath. And by the video that they posted, that kid looks two by now. Okay. So she's just faking your pregnancy for a year. So anyway, they post a thing of the wife, Megan, I'm sorry, mom, Megan, and baby Archie.

And she's reading to Archie instead of they're trying to show, you know, happy birthday. It's all mom and mommy and kitty. And dad's, is dad filming? That is filming. No, that is filming. The background. No. And, you know, watching, I'm telling you right now, it is the most embarrassing thing ever.

If you see and hear this and think that she reads to this kid every day. Or wholesome every day. It is. For save a story. We're going to read. Duck, rabbit. Ready. Good job.

Hey, look, a duck. That's not a duck. That's a rabbit. Can you turn the page? What happens after that? Are you kidding me? It's totally a duck. It's for sure a rabbit.

What's on the next page? Oh my gosh. See? There's his bill. What are you talking about? Those are his ears, silly. Uh-oh. It's a duck, and he's about to eat a piece of a pet.

Mom, you're holding me wrong. I don't like to be held like this. Turn the page. Is that the piece of bread? Yeah, it is. I'm pretending to be your bobby. And he's about to eat a carrot. Let's go to the next page.

Look, Arch. That's the couple. Look, Arch. Wait, listen, did you do that? I heard duck sounds. Look, arch. My name is Archie. It's a cigarette.

It's funny. I distinctly heard rabbit sounds. Now the duck is waiting through this one. No, no. Daddy. Daddy. There, see? Wow.

It's flying. Flying. It's hopping. That's embarrassing. Look, the duck is so hot. He's getting a drink of water. And we all read to our kids. I don't feel at the stories.

Again, it's fun. That's the sun and what's that? Fish. That's cool thing about having a little kid. Let's turn the page. Let's see what else happens. Look, look at the duck through my binoculars. Sorry.

Still a rabbit. let's turn the page. The nanny is behind the area right now going, oh my God. You cute little rabbit. Him away. You didn't scare him away. I didn't scare him away.

You scared him away. This is when trouble happens. Let's finish this book first, and we'll have that book. You know, maybe you were right. Maybe it was a rabbit. Thing is now, I'm actually thinking, uh-oh, that it was a duck. Lucky, should get that book back to. We'll read this one next.

that it was a duck. Yeah, I'm already bored as well anyway. I go to the nanny, the person that plays with me all the time, please. Thank you. What happened? I don't know, what do you want to do? Hey, look, an ant eater. That's no ant eater.

That's a Brailleosaurus. Let's turn the page. The end. Yay! Good job. Good job. Provo! Brubo!

Duck Rabbit. No, she was saying, Dadda, get me out of your arms. want my dad, okay. Or maybe Diane, the nanny. I mean, good for them. You know, happy birthday.

They love their kid. I got it. It's not a bad thing. Just quit trying to pretend like you're this... Mom? This great mom. I know you love your kid. I got it.

But just because, look, is the door still closed? Because if I could have had a nanny, I'm a fan Just no problem Just go take care of my kids Now I know they're my kid Yeah you just take care of them

Feed them whatever you want I mean happy birthday to Archie great But I still hold Yep Harry and that kid are gone When did I say A year and a half A year and a half

From a month ago A month ago Get out of lockdown It depends a year So that means the RCP be two or three you come in other yeah i think i still hold with that is a hold with that still hold with that yeah you know you talked about all these celebrities getting a new tv show you forgot about this one selina gomez you know justin beaver's ex-girlfriend yeah it's selina she's

got a place right over here forward she does uh she's getting her own cooking show do you want to know where that cooking show is going do you know where that you want to go it's not quibby so it's not going to be six-minute cooking show yes you guessed it right fisher eight HBO Max just close the deal with Selena Gomez. She doesn't even know how to cook. Selena Gomez bringing her kitchen to your TV. She's bringing her kitchen to your TV. It's called Cooking Together with Selena Gomez.

Oh my gosh. Are you kidding? Was she trying to, what does she do? There was another cooking show I saw, announced as well. Hold on. One moment, please. Where is that other

stupid cooking show I saw? All right, so I don't know. I can't find the other food show that I had saved somewhere, but I do know that I want to hear about Selena's cooking show. But remember, also, All Rise, the TV drama

is going to be the first show to tackle coronavirus they're doing all their shows they're going to start doing new shows remotely like it's going to be a Zoom so you'll have fresh shows I mean they're at least they're wrapping it around coronavirus you know is the show good enough

for that I don't know I still haven't watched it and I have CBS all access until I know this month so I know so Selena has got a new gig about cook she can't even cook she wears like 110 pounds tops wait see tell me that skinny people

can't cook. Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. But I want to reach, I want to reach, I want to read to you the pitch of how this is being sold to the viewers. Okay, because I want to, you know what? I want to watch. And it's slated to debut this summer. So that means that this is.

They're shooting. Already shooting as we speak. It's a unscripted 10 episode cooking series featuring the multi-platinum selling arts, blah, blah, blah, blah. As she navigates unfamiliar territory, making delicious meals while stuck at home in quarantine. Since the social distancing at home, Selena has been spending more and more time in the kitchen than she ever imagined. But despite her many talents, it remains to be seen if cooking is one of them. In each episode, it will be an unapologetically authentic cooking. along where Selena will be joined remotely by different master chef and together they'll tackle

cuisines and share tips and tricks. So it's not even going to be what she's been making. We're not even going to see Selena making macaroni and cheese and screwing it up or doing something like that during quarantine. And dealing with everything from smoking ovens to missing ingredients. Each episode will highlight a food-related charity, and this casual, funny, and informative series will embrace both the struggle and the joy of learning to cook.

To cook at home. And so they bring in Chef Tell, and Chef Tell says, okay, well, we need paprika. Oh, I don't have paprika. Okay, well, you go outside and cut up a blade of grass and pretend it's paprika and put it in your cooking meal. So that, I mean, that's what's going to be. I can already produce the stupid show.

Selina better be wearing a... Nope. Just a apron. Enough. Is this not... Oh, it is HBO Max, so... Just an apron. If Selena is having a struggle of cooking at home in just an apron,

that's what you read, right? That was part of the pitch. No, but I can see what you get there. see where you could go from unapologetic cooking with a master chef to Selena Gomez just cooking with an apron on and let's see where the bacon grease hits yes yes 100% yeah I'm watching it I'm in