Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 432 | Jeffy: "They All Want to Curve Right"
Episode Date: August 3, 2020The Apple fires continues to burn in California and the east coast has Storm Isaias. If you have red onions at your home make sure to send them back due to salmonella outbreak. If you thought 2020 was... already bad just wait until you hear all the foods that are being recalled. This Week Sponsor: Get your life back with Relief Factor and its 3-Week Quick Start for only $19.95. If you are in pain, what have you got to lose? Go to https://www.relieffactor.com Subscribe on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello, and welcome to Two.
The Fat. Yes, Chewing the Fat podcast. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride today.
This is a show where we try and find a smile once in a while in the face of pain around the world.
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Okay, so let's go around the country, shall we?
Well, we can start out west and then move our way east.
We could start east and go west, but we'll start west.
By the way, that's not how this show works.
This show works.
You spin the globe, you point, and that's where we go.
Have you forgotten?
All right.
Well, let's spin the globe.
Let's spin it.
Okay.
Spin it.
There we go.
We don't have the sound effect or anything.
It's just a...
You have the globe.
I don't have the globe.
We spare no expense.
I mean, if you've listened to the show before, you know we have, we spare no expense on whatever the show needs.
So let's spin the globe.
There you go.
Oh, my gosh.
Look at that.
It's California.
So it's burning.
We'll start out west.
in California. It's burning. Yes, it is. It is on fire once again. The apple fire in southern
California, which is burning out of control in Cherry Valley. I'm not real sure why the Apple
fire is burning in Cherry Valley, and we call it Apple Fire. Actually, I did look it up because it
drove me insane all weekend.
I'm like, they keep calling it the Apple Fire, but it's in Cherry Valley.
Why is it not the Cherry Valley Fire or even just the Cherry Fire?
That's the kind of weekend I had.
Yeah.
And so come to find out, one of the original roadways that closed up to the, that they think is the ignition site of the fire is Apple Tree Lane.
So the press started calling it the apple fire.
And even though it's in Cherry Valley, tough, it's the apple fire.
So there you have it.
There you have it.
That's why.
So, thank you.
That doesn't sound like the actual apple fire.
We have over 7,000 people evacuated.
I mean, it's burning.
And this is, and they've got it under control.
Well, 5% of it.
So I do have a question about a fire, though.
Maybe we get this answered by a professional.
They have all kinds of people there, and it's going to get, you know,
you know how the fires are in California every year.
It's going to get bad.
The footage already is horrific.
But I wondered, does fire kill COVID-19?
Or does the smoke just spread it all over the country,
and we're all going to get sick again, so we need to shut the country down?
Apparently, we're just going to burn.
It doesn't matter.
Just we're going to burn.
Oh, by the way.
as we have spun the globe and we're starting to move across the country,
red onions are recalled because of a possible salmonella poisoning.
Yeah, I know red onions.
And just to be safe, just like we did with the country, we're going to shut it down.
We're going to recall red, white, yellow, and sweet onions.
Yeah, because there could be cross-contamination.
So, so far, you know, there's people been sick.
You already know the signs of salmonella infection, right?
Diarrita, fever, stomach cramps could happen anywhere from six hours to six days after the exposure.
So you get really sick and then you don't.
So if you're in a high risk age group like those under five or over 65 with weakened immune systems,
you're more likely to experience severe illness.
Sound familiar?
Now that's the onion recall.
And you think to yourself,
well, look, that's only in, what,
30, 35 states, something like that.
Well, there's the other 7-0 outbreak in almost every state.
Spin the globe.
Almost every state.
You know what they think that is the cause of that?
Backyard poultry.
Who among us?
Who among us doesn't have chickens out back?
900 people already infected with the salmonella.
I guess we know that it's not the onions for these people.
It's most likely backyard poultry, chicks and ducklings.
So while we know that outbreaks aren't on common this time of year,
you know, 938 people have been affected and is almost doubled in the last month.
So, for those of you that have backyard poultry, don't be letting the kids touch them, come into the house, take it easy with them, okay?
Leave them outside and quit playing around with them.
Are you sure this is being classified as outbreaks and not just COVID outbreaks?
Well, if you die
You died of COVID-19
Okay, got it
I just want to make sure
If you're sick
If you're sick
Okay
Because I called the doctor
Over the weekend
Because I was not feeling so good
And he said
You have COVID
I'm like no I don't stop it
Oh boy
Stop it
I don't have COVID
It was just
A little bit of
A headache
Well let me ask you a question
What a wuss
Why are you hit a little bit of a headache
And calling a doc
Dude, it was a massive migraine.
It was bad.
I don't know.
Put blanket up over the window and put a cold compress on your head and get over it.
My grandma used to have headaches like that.
My grandpa would just close the blinds and put a cold wash on her head and tell everybody to shut the hell up.
Okay.
Gotta be quiet.
Grandpa's got a headache.
So, I ask the way, love you.
Oh, okay.
that my grandma never said that but my grandfather did
are we still spinning the globe
is that what we're doing okay
wait
that's a set we need to get that globe
fixed
man that did not come from
from a man over at
Ballerby Globes in London I'll tell you that
there's no way he's sending globes out to sound like this
have you have COVID
you do your doctor was right
you're like in some sort of some sort of feverish state
do get put a swab in your nose or something man
take care of yourself
I can't spin this globe anymore so please can we go somewhere
yeah well I stopped it oh okay good
I stopped it and we're on the east coast of the United States right now
as I don't know if it's a hurricane it was a tropical storm
it's it is one or the other it turns into a tropical storm
and it's a hurricane, then it's a tropical storm,
and it's just up the east coast of America.
So I'll just rip in a little bit of coastline up as it goes.
It's going to make some kind of rainfall or landfall
in probably the Carolinas and then just continue on up the east coast.
You know, like those storms do.
It's funny because it was supposed to hit Florida and it didn't.
I feel like it saw that you have to wear a mask,
and since the storm was not wearing a mask,
it decided to go somewhere else.
it's possible yeah that's possible you know a lot of those storms you know they all want to curve right
that's what they do i mean that's that's they all want to curve right can i quote you on that please
yes i have a professional storm watcher a professional at hurricane all want a curve right that's today's
show they all want to curve right that's what they do that's what they do so when you can see you
saw the whole thing it kept curving right and pretty soon everybody said oh it's going to hit
floor it's going to hit florid nope it's going to go into
along it's going to hit the west go?
Nope.
They just keep curving right.
That's what they want to do.
Even the ones in the Gulf of Mexico.
They want to curve.
They curve right.
That's what happens.
Well, isn't there a slingshot in the golf where, like, the storm, like, picks up and then goes
right back to Florida?
Isn't there some kind of like a lot?
Isn't a while?
Because they all want to go right.
I remember on the, like, the big storms that came in United, like, the three.
or four storms that hit the United States back to back.
I remember them talking about the slingshot that is in the Gulf,
that it could go anywhere, but then usually goes to Florida
and then goes right in the middle of Florida, Georgia, Carolina, up north.
Right, because as it gets into the middle of the Gulf,
if it doesn't get too far west, then as it starts to turn right,
like they all want to do,
you end up into the panhandle of Florida
and then on into Georgia and so forth.
But if you get a little bit farther west,
it still is turning right,
but it doesn't get far enough right.
So that's when you're into Louisiana, Texas.
And also, you know,
if we bring up the green screen behind me,
you can see as the high-level winds
and the low-pressure system pushes the storm across America.
That's what happens.
But what is this storm?
Isaiah?
Isaiah
ISIS, it's ISIS is what it is
And it doesn't want to come into America
Because of Donald Trump
Wait, what?
So it's just ripping up to East Coast
And people have had to deal with it all along the East Coast
It's, you know, it's, it is hurricane season
But I realize
I miss it.
I realize that what you would say in it, you were saying it wrong
Isayas?
Isis, like I said.
No, assayas.
Now what is it?
Asai.
I don't think it is.
Okay.
Because the white boy.
Asaias.
Tropical storm assayas.
We got to get some new names for these things, man.
I know.
Those names are bad.
What happened to Tropical Storm Bill?
We've canceled so many days.
We've talked about this.
You could go back.
Yes, we have.
Yeah, we talked about, we went down the list of all the names.
Compare them to from the old back in the day.
That was Martha.
Um, Stuart, um, Billy, now they're like ethnic names.
Isai, yes.
You know, we, I, uh, just by the luck of the draw, a storm gets a name that then does a bunch of damage.
We can't call it that, that name anymore.
Oh, okay.
Uh, fine.
I'm going down the list.
Hold on.
I got to find the list now.
I got to find the list.
Yeah.
I got to find the list.
While you're doing that.
I found the list.
for the hurricanes momentarily.
I'll tell you that don't plant the seeds.
I talked to the last week about the seeds that are being sent to everyone from China.
They're not all coming from China, by the way, either.
I found that out.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know.
But they've identified 14 different kinds of seeds that are being sent to people.
Flowering plants like the morning glory, veggies, herbs.
And they appear to be.
from China, although many are not from China.
They are coming from several different countries.
Now, you'd think, and as we talked about, you know, they're telling people, hey, don't plant them.
If you get these seeds, don't plant them.
And I thought, at the time, I thought, well, if you got a bag of seeds sent to you and you didn't know where they were from, why would you plant them?
but come to find out
people
planted them anyway
yep
I mean they're quoting people
the one lady in Louisiana
yeah I got seats
and I didn't realize
that I couldn't plan them
so I just planted them
now there's no
there's no
documentation of whether she planted them
in a little
in a little planter
or if she just threw them out in the backyard and we're just going to let them grow and, you know, blow all over the country.
You know, the fire smoke is just going to spread the damage from these seeds.
But they are, the majority appear to be from China.
There are other countries.
Where the heck?
I was looking for the list of the other countries that they came from.
You know what?
They're from China.
We hate China.
We don't like China anymore.
And so they're all from China.
Just the way it is.
We don't like them.
Do you find their names yet?
I did.
I did.
I just had to turn off my mic because that was funny.
So.
I mean, sure, I could tell you that there's some people got some from Uzbekistan.
Sure, I could tell you that some got some sent to them from the Solomon Islands.
Sure, I could tell you that some got sent to them from other areas of Russia.
But you know what?
No, they're all from China.
So we have, in 2012, we have names like Albert.
Debbie Gordon
Helen
Isaac Joyce
Leslie Michael
Oscar
Sandy
Remember Sandy
Sandy?
Sandy was bad
dude
in 20
in 2020
here are the names
I don't remember
Joyce though
Joyce
Huh
didn't you say Joyce
I did say Joyce
yeah
I don't remember that storm
in 2020
we'll start with the A's
goes
Arthur
this is
20-20 names Arthur
Bertha
Christobal
Dali
Edward
Fay
Gonzalo
Hannah
Asaias
Josephine
Kyle
Laura
Marco
Marco
Nana
Omar
Paulette
Renee
Sally
Teddy
and Wilfred okay so Hurricane Joyce that name has not been retired has it no the only names
have been retired Hurricane Joyce was in 2000 which you know explains and it wasn't even it just
it was like a category one it hit the Dominican Trinidad Tobago with nobody cares about them
okay next um the names that people that live there that's all the names that were retired
according to this was Erica and Joaquin
because those two hurricanes were so deadly and damaging
that the WMO decided to
that the reuse of their name
would be incentive V. Incentive?
Yeah, there's a bunch of names
that have been retired. Yeah. So it gets, you know,
you have to go through and find other names like ISIS.
No, I say yes.
Yeah, like I said, ISIS.
But these are the kind of storms.
Anyway, just as a quick side note of ISIS.
These are the kind of storms that do a lot of damage that you don't think about
because the whole coastline gets ripped up.
Dude, I'm looking at the chart.
This WMO is so cheap.
I mean, not so cheap.
So what's that word?
Lazy.
The names from 2014 are the names for 2020.
Yeah.
So if they, if no names got retired, they just rubber stamp a year.
That was okay.
So I just read the names for the 2014.
And then the names for 2015.
There were a lot of stars in 14, though.
Name those off.
I just did.
2014.
A little 2020 and 2014s are the same names.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Well, then what are the, what were there?
There were two years there.
It must not have been 2014.
No, I'm talking about 04 through 07 and 04, 05, 06, something like that.
Those three years were really bad.
Oh, yeah.
Really bad.
That's what I was thinking of, not in the teens.
Because in the teens, I was living in the Northeast, I didn't care.
If you sat around this weekend and you thought to yourself, man, you know, I have got $2,88,88,8,8,000, $888,000,000,000, $888,
that I don't know what to do with.
And I'm just sitting here at home wondering,
what can I do with $2,888,888?
Well, you know, you could buy the Time Bandit crab ship
from the deadliest catch.
We've got to cool to own right for only $2,88,888.
So good luck.
Good luck.
Apparently they're in some kind of,
some kind of battle
divorce court
and
they decided that they had agreed
to fork over money to the wife
if the brothers sold the boat
and so now they got to
sell the boat because she wants her money.
So good luck.
God bless.
And I also, before we get to
Ellen, I want to tell you a little story
about a Florida flight attendant
who's been arrested.
And when I tell you how she was arrested,
why she was arrested.
You're going to think, wait, what?
So a Florida flight attendant, Nicole Denison, got home.
It was late Wednesday night.
She was tired, been working, walked into the house, and there's hubby, neck deep with
the girlfriend.
At least I think he was neck deep, but he was deep with his girlfriend.
she
decided to punch the husband in the face
scratch his face bruise his arm
smashed his guitar
knocking down shelving
in the house and then
kicking him out
yeah
hubby was like
don't worry about it
she's not going to be here for a while
oh yeah
Is that the door?
Is that her?
No, she said she wasn't going to be home until tomorrow.
Hey, how you doing?
Don't mind this.
It's not what you think.
That's my favorite line.
It's not what you think.
Oh, okay.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Flatsido Domingo.
She might, he might have saved himself.
if that would have happened.
If it would have been my man Placito.
If he was neck deep in Placito instead of another girlfriend.
She just walks in and hears...
Well, no, that wouldn't have happened, is what I'm saying.
If she walked in and heard...
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Placido Domingo.
Oh, okay.
Well, I just got home.
I'm going to go down and get myself a drink.
You guys finish up.
But instead of that,
instead of that, she beat him up and broke a few.
things around the house.
And so she's been arrested.
She's been arrested.
She's been charged with
domestic battery.
Kind of a good domestic
battery. Wouldn't you say so?
All right, thanks again for listening to chewing the fat.
I really appreciate it.
We're going to head over to the break room because I need a drink of something cold.
And go ahead and get yourself something to drink.
Go ahead.
Oh, my gosh.
So good.
So we told you on Friday that Ellen had come out and said,
Hey, look, I'm at the head of the table.
And so it's my show, my name.
So I'm ultimately responsible.
But damn those producers and they suck.
And they were doing a bad thing.
And I didn't realize that it was going on.
So nobody believes it.
And she's, I mean, that show is done now.
I mean, not officially.
But believe me when I tell you, that show is done.
and I think her game show is done.
I mean,
the Ellen brand has been marred now.
The Ellen,
I'm a great person brand has been hurt.
She's going to be back to working,
you know,
doing the comedy club circuit.
You know,
hey,
welcome to the show.
Be careful.
I might slap you.
Something like that.
Don't look at me.
If I'm her,
that's what I do.
Come out,
hey,
how you doing?
Thanks for coming.
Don't look at me.
Don't talk to me.
Okay,
sure you can laugh
if you hear something funny.
but that's it. That's the only thing she can do now.
I mean, her fall from grace, they are, I mean, you know, they're eating their own.
Good for them, I guess.
But it's tough to see.
All the headlines.
Producers accused of sexual misconduct.
Degenerous in free fall.
Degenerous wants out of her show, even if she doesn't.
I mean, that headline alone.
and there were stories that talked about
how James Corden could be the next Ellen.
I already told you who the next Ellen is going to be.
Corden isn't going to be the next Ellen.
He's got his own thing going on.
James Corden has got his own deal.
The next Ellen is Drew Barrymore.
Guaranteed.
And, you know, remember in the last four months, five months,
Drew Barrymore has done, you know,
been posting all nice things and all great things about her friends.
and how great she would spend.
And then there was the news that she's going to start her own show.
And it was going to be all good news and happy.
And we need good positive stuff.
Drew Barrymore.
Going to be the next Ellen, guaranteed.
Or they're going to try to make it happen.
Could she pull it off?
I don't know, maybe.
But it's just incredible, the free fall from Ellen.
And is she responsible?
You know, she's at the head of things.
Now, all the sexual misconduct stuff has nothing to do with her.
Nothing.
And all that stuff had nothing to do with her.
It was producers.
There were, uh, there's, there's dozens of misconduct by former employees as the fallout
continues and producers.
And there was one, um, the, um, incidents of harassment.
Well, you got hollered at for not doing your job?
Okay.
There was one time that one guy said they were at some party and, you know, had his man unit grabbed.
Oh, the horror.
How can you get through life with that happening?
I know.
Don't look at me like that.
Stop it.
You know as well as I.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Oh, congratulations, too.
Let's go back to Florida, as a matter of fact, with the Twitter hack last month, you know,
having people send them Bitcoin.
A guy from Tampa, Florida, my main man, 17-year-old from Tampa, Florida.
My old breeding ground was the mastermind behind the Twitter hack.
You got 30 felony counts.
He's going away for a long time.
Or he's going to end up working for the CIA, including communications fraud, identity theft, access to computer without authority.
Yeah, he'll be working for it.
Did I say CIA?
NSA.
You just cover everybody by working for the NSA.
Well, you're going to have to do it from a jail cell, but you're going to work for us anyway.
Don't worry about it.
So congratulations.
And as long as we were, Chris, are you okay?
I know you've been a little quiet.
I didn't mean to bring up.
you know i was talking about the girl in florida that beat up her husband
because she caught him uh i'm sorry now you care now you care about my feelings
why you look sad for those of you watching live on the 3rd of august uh 20 20 my gosh it's
august already anyway uh the 3rd of august 20 20 you can see that you just all of a sudden
you got sad and i just realized why because uh you know i did that i did that story about the girl in
Florida that caught her husband cheating and beat him up and destroyed the house and now she's
been arrested for domestic violence and I got the thinking oh my gosh that's exactly what happened
to Chris without being arrested right so you okay I'm fine but maybe next time you know run and
by me like hey Chris can I talk about this I don't know that that'll be the common courtesy
way or if you're going to bring it up you know kind of like put some jokes in there or
include me in the jokes.
Sure.
Anyway, I just want to make sure you're okay.
You're all, you look sad.
I don't want you to be sad.
I'm not okay.
You know what?
It's over.
That's so long ago now.
Don't let it go.
Oh, you little bitch.
I'm going to say it.
Maybe, you know, find yourself and just let it go.
So I found out also this weekend that I've got an opportunity, well, maybe not here in this country, but in Great Britain, that if, uh, if I found out this weekend, that, uh, if I found out this country in this country, but in great Britain, that, uh, if I've found out, if I've got a
I got arrested for, you know, counting people out of money, I won't have to go to jail because
I'll be too fat.
I know.
I saw that.
Okay.
So that's legit.
Right.
That is something working in your favor.
Now, anyway, the, so this guy.
So what's the weight limit?
Do you have to wait like this much amount so that you don't go to jail?
So this guy weighs 28 stone.
Okay, can we put that in pebbles?
Because I only know pebbles.
I don't know stones.
Sure.
Sure.
396 pebbles.
Ooh, that's a lot of pebbles.
Please.
Don't give me our poop.
390s.
I can do 396 standing out of my hands.
That's nothing.
Stop it.
I did that yesterday.
28 stone.
What kind of these guys in shape?
My poop is bigger than that.
I remember back of the day with 28 stone
I thought wow
I can't get any bigger
guess what you can't
anyway he's too fat for prison
so good for him
that's good you know I always
I always see in movies and TV shows
them trying to play the
he's too crazy he did not know what he was doing
this is the fat card
I play your honor
I want to play the fat card
as you can see my
client waits
how many stones
28 stones
28 stones
the prisons only allowed us
10 stones can we
have some leniency
is it really that fat
do we have pictures
he's 74 years old
okay
and he needs carers
to help him out of bed
and give him his medication
due to his size and poorly
health. That's what they say. Okay. So it's not because it's fat. It's because he's fat and sick.
Well, some would say that maybe he's sick because he's fat. How dare you? As a fat person.
I mean, that's those are the fat. Hold on. You're fat shaming another fat person? How do I said some people
would say that. You're like my previous stupid doctor. Oh my God. She just gave me double PTSD now.
My previous doctor in Irvin, she was like, oh, no, I having this headache. And she, she was, like, oh, no, I haven't
this headache and she was like, oh yeah, you could lose some weight.
No, I'm sorry, man.
That's not, not, no, no.
I was like, my blood pressure is a little bit high.
Yeah, I lose weight.
My new doctor's like, no, you're good, Chris.
Keep it up.
Well, unless he's a chubby chaser.
Your doctor just wants you to die or chase you.
Yeah, either one.
He could be a chubby chaser because every time he looks at me, he is undressing me.
He is undressing me.
I can't tell you how embarrassing that is when doctors do that.
I know.
I even gave you that this is the doctor.
Oh my goodness.
Remember the doctor that sent me for my special and then he said,
they don't look American, but they're all good?
Oh, yes.
This is him.
Oh, he could be checking you out then.
I think so, too.
He always wore those nice, tight, skinny jeans when he comes in.
And I'm like, hey, Doc.
He's like, hey, Christian.
Hey, Chris.
It's Chris, not Christian.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, Christian.
I like the Lord, too.
Okay, this isn't for the recording.
But did you see where the Bronx Zoo has apologized for the horrific treatment of Otabenga, O-T-A-Benga, the Central African Man,
who they used as part of the monkey house display
with an orangutan in 1906.
Now, they have apologized for that.
But they already apologize.
The Wildlife Conservation Society,
they formally apologized,
but they apologized when in 1906.
I mean, he was a member of the M-BUTI,
M-B-B-T-U-T-E-U-T-E.
people, which is present-day DRC.
And for several days, during the week of September 8th and 1906, he was held in inhumane
conditions, forced to live with an ape.
He was only allowed short periods of time outside.
He started to resist and threatened zoo attendance and then was released after a delegation of
local black churches demanded it when he was finally freed.
and Reverend James Gordon took him to a Brooklyn orphanage
and then I guess 10 years later he committed suicide
so I guess they're trying to say that
the suicide was because he was put in the zoo for a couple of days
but they have denounced the past racism
and they made all the records public
they would have been public already right
It doesn't say how
Atabenga from Mbute people
ended up at the zoo
I'm not really sure
But see
We were so far
Past that
And now we're digging up things
Of all the bad stuff that happened
100 years, over 100 years ago.
I just...
I don't know.
All right, we can start recording now.
We can talk about the zombie cicadas.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, I know.
Hold on.
I know.
I know.
I listen.
The...
I'm sorry?
The what?
The zombie cicadas.
I hate this show.
This show never works when I wanted to work.
Well, I mean,
That's what this show is, is chewing the fat, and it's what we do.
We don't work when the people want us to work.
It's part of the deal.
I can't find it.
That sucks.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, let's talk about the, let's talk about the zombie cicadas now.
Now, I just want you to know that this is generally harmless to humans.
Okay.
So you generally, you don't have to worry about it.
Okay.
I know. I know. Listen, this is where we're at, all right? So the parasite that the cicadas get is sexually transmitted infection.
Okay.
So the cicadas have this infection and they lure other mating cicadas to them and then they infect that cicada.
right
hey
you flap with those wings
me and you're happy to see me
wait no that's not the joke
anyway the
cicadas begin to decay
now get this these cicadas
are in the ground for almost
17 years
so the scientists
don't know
if they get this
fungus
before they get this fungus
before they
go into the ground, on their way out of the ground, or once they're in the ground, or after they get out of the ground, if they don't know where they get it.
So the spores from the spunk.
Have they tried to see if they get it when they get bitten?
So the spores eat away at the genitalia, the butts and the abdomens of the spores.
abdomens of the cicadas until they eventually fall off and replaces all of it with the fungal spores,
which I believe if you believe that cicadas feel things, that's got to hurt.
It doesn't sound like a good thing to have a some sort of disease that is eating away at your genitalia,
your butt, and your abdomen.
just to me, just off the top of my head, I would say, you know, that probably doesn't feel good.
But I don't know if the cicadas feel anything.
So, I mean, we'll just say that they don't.
So they begin to decay, but rather than immediately die, all right?
So this fungus, instead of eating away at the genitalia, the butts and the abdomens,
and then killing them, it keeps them alive.
and they fly around to infect others.
So it's like this mind-controlled disease on these insects.
And they don't know where they get it from.
And you can see it if you pick them up.
They claim that there's a picture here in this story that they pick them up
and they've got this nasty little orange thing.
If you pick up a cicada and it's got this,
got this eaten away
fungus
you know that
that's one of the
the massopora
parasitic fungus
that
manipulates male cicadas
and deflicking their wings like females
and then infects
the other diseases
so like if you're just a regular male
cicada
I'm waiting for
a hot female
A Ticada to fly on by.
And one of the infected cicadas starts flapping its wings.
Is that a hot cicada over there?
I'm going to go take care of a little cicada business.
And then I get infected.
Right.
I mean, I'm over here.
Just looking for a little luck.
Listen to that smooth cicada sound over there.
I'm going to go take care of a little cicada business.
No, don't.
Don't.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Plathido-Domingo.
Right.
And that's, in fact, the cicadas do.
That's what they do.
They fly around just saying, allow me to introduce myself.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Placido-Domingo.
And then they infect the other cicadas.
And then those cicadas die.
Get the infection and the same thing happens.
Thank you.
never-ending cycle, by the way.
A never-ending cycle.
Download and subscribe to more content at the blaze.com
slash podcasts.
It was surreal and bizarre.
And there were no extra guests and no photos were allowed with the
graduate, with the face being visible.
Everybody had to wear masks.
And she was just saying that it was this major event and it ended up being in a
a roseball parking lot.
And all I could think of is I wanted to, I want to just continue to quote her from the great movie Volcano that she co-starred in with Tommy Lee Jones.
And I just want to quote Anne H here.
I know, right?
I know.
Okay then.
You know, what kind of great thing that is, that is.
Right?
Right.
We've got, I mean, there are so much to.
to get to. I don't even know where to begin as we
try to wrap up the first broadcast of the week.
We've got, you know, we'll just some quick headlines, I guess,
just to get you through.
Well, look, if you spent the money, if you spent some money this weekend,
you are probably happy.
Because I think we talked about this when they first agreed to this
with Apple.
they had a settlement from the iPhone owners that sued them for the slowing down of performance of the older iPhone models.
And they settled that deal.
And under the settlement, you could get up to $25.
I know, right?
I mean, congratulations to the multi-billion dollar corporation
that's getting ready to break their stocks in a one to four split,
so everybody's getting ready to make a huge amount of money.
But they did a $500 million settlement to these lawsuits in 2017.
So now if you go to, you have to go to a website
and file your claim to get up to $25.
So don't spend it everywhere.
Don't spend it everywhere.
Did you get your money yet, Chris?
No, remember because I needed to have my number.
Oh, you need to have the receipt.
No, serial number.
I needed my serial number,
and I don't have my serial number of all the iPhones I've owned.
amazingly they do but they don't have to provide it
no no they do not that's right now that's right now i'm going to pissed off again all over
the same stupid thing i was making a joke about you being able to get up to twenty five dollars
from a five hundred million dollar settlement and now i'm pissed off an apple again for
making the people who actually were part of the lawsuit who had the devices prove that they
had the devices when they make a big deal themselves of saying that they know
who has all their devices.
That's, I need to take a breath for a second.
Did we not ever, did no one in Russia watch the TV show on,
is Amazon TV is available in Russia, right?
Do we know that?
You got to be able to get Amazon in Russia, right?
So, Russian scientists have now found and are now unearthing a woolly mammoth
that has been well preserved in this Arctic Circle
Siberian lake in the shallows
and there's video of them pulling these bones
and part of the bones still have meat and muscles on them
and they're pulling it out of this peninsula, this Arctic Circle.
Apparently no one in Russia saw fortitude
on Amazon TV.
But if they had, they would,
would just leave this willy mammoth right the hell where it is under dirt and ground and water
because if you haven't seen fortitude first season is really good after that but remember it is
the beginning of the beginning of walking dead and it all starts with the unearthing of woolly mammoths
that a spoiler? I'm sorry.
By the way, Prime is available
worldwide except for
mainland, China,
Iran, North Korea,
and Syria.
So they should have seen it?
Yes.
My gosh, we're just playing with fate now.
That's just
playing with fate. I mean,
that hurts.
That hurts.
That hurts.
Good news, too.
Operation Warp Speed is
going out there, we're going to have a COVID-19 vaccine soon.
Cannot wait.
Cannot wait.
The giant fund that has made huge investments in five separate prospects.
There's only been one, I think.
that is at the final stage of testing for the vaccine.
So good luck, God bless.
Good luck, God bless.
I mean, we're talking about the U.S.
According to, you know, I keep hearing that we haven't been containing it well.
I don't know that I believe that, but they keep saying it.
So it must be true, right?
Officials in Australia declared their Victoria state, a state of disaster because there's, you know, out of control numbers with COVID-19.
Norway, they started up international cruises since all of them were canceled, but, oh, no.
Nope, not anymore.
They tested positive again, so we're shutting it back down.
Vietnam is testing a 1.1 million residents of the city of Danang, denang,
after it was linked to the outbreak.
So they're going to be locking down.
This worldwide lockdown from COVID-19 is, to me, incredible.
And I keep saying that word.
It's amazing.
It's unbelievable.
It's incredible.
But some of the things that are happening here in the United States,
alone.
And you know what?
You know what?
I don't care about the rest of the world.
I don't care.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
America first.
We need to get back
to the business of being
America.
I thought that sounded pretty good.
It's not going to happen.
But we need to get back
to doing the business of America,
man.
Wow.
And so many places are in trouble.
Congratulations, too.
to 7-11 stores.
Speedway is selling its convenience store chain.
Marathon Petroleum is selling all their Speedway convenience store chains to 7-Eleven.
And that's why.
Remember it was Speedway in the Northeast that just stopped selling the donuts, right?
Not long ago, they stopped selling the donuts.
We made a big deal about Speedway, not selling, was it Duncan?
No, it was the other donuts.
Who's the other big donut company?
You know.
No, it was Duncan.
It was Duncan Donuts.
Sure?
Yeah, it wasn't Krispy Cream donuts.
It was Dunkin' Donuts.
Yeah, Krispy Kreme.
That's what I thought it was.
No, it was Dunkin Donuts because they don't,
they now want to focus on actually having a building instead of renting a space on all these gas stations.
So Speedway kicked him out.
And then they just said, the Speedway kicked him out.
No, no, no.
You're not kicking us out.
You're not kicking us out.
We're kicking you out.
I feel like you're not listening to what I said.
And you're reading between the lines.
Duncan is like, hey, we want to have our own space.
We want to have our own building.
We don't want to be inside in the corner, sharing, you know, counter space with the other people.
We just want to be by ourselves, our own store, and Colin Duncan.
So what you're saying is that they didn't.
like being in the little
plexiglass
container. No.
The other donut company. Yes.
But what really happened
is that Speedway said we're kicking you
out like that and then Duncan said
no, you're not kicking us out. We're kicking
you out. So
anyway, they're selling
to 7-Eleven for
$21 billion.
It's crazy because they just
Duncan just closed
450
speedway locations.
Right.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
And you're saying that
Speedway,
no, I'm saying
the Speedway,
I'm saying the
side I'm fighting for.
No,
you're fighting for the big oil.
I'm fighting for...
Meatway kicking them out.
Yeah, that's right.
You're fighting for big oil
trying to just capitalize on everything.
Those bastards.
Those bastards are speedway.
I'm fighting for the little donut guy
that says, hey, I just want to be here.
And I want to be my own man, but you're not letting me be my own man.
Right.
We're going to leave you.
We're going to be our own stories, darn it.
Oh, what, I got to thank, look, I asked for people to start spending in their Iceland
screams to chewing the fat.
And I still want you to send it to chewing the fat at the blaze.com.
Iceland is still accepting.
email screams and so is
chewing the fat. And as an
example, I'd like to think
I believe it was JD.
Let me double check that.
Make sure that is correct.
Yes, that's correct. J.D.
sent in his Iceland chewing the fat
scream to the show.
And
it looked like instead of
doing one
per family member,
or I should say it sounds
like instead of doing one per family member jd just got the family together and created a family
iceland scream at some point i'll figure out what he says but i do appreciate the scream
and i expect more screams soon chewing the fat at the blaze dot com now i know you finish the show
Jeff Fisher, but
I went to the website.
I mean, I can keep going if you want.
I know you can keep going.
Can you just let me talk?
I went to the website.
I went to the website about the screen.
And have you already done it?
Have you already sent your screen?
Yeah, I didn't send it to the show, but.
No, no, not to the show to Iceland.
Did you send, you know, it looks like you need.
Actually, I have done it.
You haven't.
I feel like we need to do it as a show.
And when we do it here live, you know, I'm going to prep it up.
I'm going to bring it up on the computer.
And since we're all connected to...
So, I mean, some were, as we did, you know, I played some of the other, you know,
the examples from the website before.
And, you know, as people were thinking with their little whistles.
And some people were, um, um, no, I hope that this family, J.D.
sent theirs to Iceland as well.
So we do actually get a chewing the fat
mention in Iceland.
Right.
There's another example.
That's probably the guy from London
or there was a guy from New York
that they had an example of.
So I mean, it's just silly.
So do you want to do,
do you want to do a...
I feel like we need to do a...
What kind of scream are you thinking about?
I don't know. I don't know.
I'm ready to rock and roll.
The website is up.
The website is capturing
and all I have to do is click and hold
and says please scream responsibly
the world is listening so
are you ready
because I am ready
so should I should I yell like
should I yell
listen to chewing the fat podcast
I like that I like that
I like that
yeah yeah get the flam out
I got to get that flam out I like it
I wish I still I don't have any smoke
King's phlegm anymore. It's a little disappointing.
No, I think that's a good thing.
Yes, man.
Man. Anyway.
Okay. Let me know when you're ready.
I'm going to turn my microphone off.
All right.
Can I have a little bit we do a practice?
Yeah, here we go. Let's practice.
Listen to chewing fat.
Listen to chewing fat podcast.
I like that.
Do I need to leave closer to the...
Are you going to do the ah with me?
I'll do the ah with you. Yeah.
Okay.
So don't lean back. No, just go normal. Don't lean back. I got too. I want it to I want it. I don't want it to get distorted. It's not going to get distorted. Trying to use the microphone as a professional. I know you are, but just do what I tell you. Just scream responsibly. Here we go. Is Jeffrey ready?
Yeah, okay. We give it a shot. We practice. Okay. Let's practice. This is the real one.
Let's do this. Do it. Okay, here we go. Three, two.
Listen to Chewing the Fat Podcast
Ah
Okay we have to record it again
You're right we needed to practice
It's not long enough
Well it's long enough
Well you did a great job
You did a great job
It's just the recording
It's a little bit delayed
Here listen this is what we did listen
Listen to chewing the fat podcast
See it's short
It's short
We need to do more
More at the beginning
then at the end.
It was my bad.
I clicked too soon.
So now we know.
It's one, two, three, go.
Okay?
Here we go.
One, two, three.
Listen to joining the fat podcast.
All right, let's see.
You got joined.
All right.
Last time, so I forgot to join you.
You were pissing me off.
Here we go.
I'm throwing out of the throat here for this,
the god awful thing.
Iceland.
This is Ryland.
Here we go.
More people are listening.
right now that is going to hear it in
freaking Iceland.
Yes.
Here we go.
One,
two,
three.
Listen to chewing
the fat podcast.
Ah!
Listen to chewing the fat podcast.
There it is.
We got it.
We got it.
We got it.
All right.
Here we go.
We're going to send the scream
to North Iceland.
And the screen
name is going to be
Chewing the Fat.
Chewing the Fats.
fat city
maybe screaming the fat
now too in the fat is fun
dfW
United States
where's the United States
all over the bottom
begins with you
UN I TED
S
United States
sometimes they just say
America
if you tell me
we got to do it again
no we don't
they already send me a copy
I just have to put my email address
email me a video of my screen
Nice
In 30 seconds
It will be play
In Iceland
Really? Yes
Do we get a copy of it playing in Iceland?
I don't know
That would be awesome
That would be awesome
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Now I want to wait
right
okay I'm bored
anyway the
I want a copy
of
if we can get a copy
of the holler of Iceland
coming out of the speaker in Iceland
yeah that'll be pretty cool I like that
and who they just randomly pick which speaker we get
because I think they've got like three speakers set up around the country
no you get I'm going through the speakers now
if there's an arrow you could go left and right
and you could look at the speakers
and you could scream into those speakers.
We screamed from the speaker that is next to the
if this is correct, okay, if this is correct.
It's next to the lighthouse.
Oh, nice. I love lighthouse.
Yes.
And then if we could go to the one
that is right next to the neighborhood
by the pier with the fishes.
Although that's where the people are.
Yes.
To me promote you and the fat where at least a couple hundred people
show up every once every 10,000
years in Iceland? We could do it by the
fields, you know, with the next...
No, nobody's in the fields, nobody's at the lighthouse. We've got to be
by the people. It's, you know, next to the
sheep's and they're... If this is live
video, this is pretty cool.
Well, make sure we're recording
so we get a... Oh, we are
recording. Yeah, we are recording.
It'd be cool to have chewing the fat
air so we can play that back.
I mean,
those of you listening got to hear it live.
and are listening and I'd be able to hear it live,
but I'd like to share it with others.
Yes.
I appreciate you listening and, you know,
tell your friends and neighbors and you mean a lot to me,
but I want to share it with others too.
Kind of like the cicadas.
Anyway.
So it looks like the only one that is active for now
is the one next to the fields.
By the lighthouse?
Oh, by the fields.
The sheep.
The sheep.
Yeah.
So if you want to scream to the sheep,
you can do it right now and then we'll play.
All right.
Well, let's do it.
Okay, here we go.
Do I have to yell again?
No, you don't have to, yeah.
You just say anything to the sheep's.
They're literally moving.
You could hear in the background.
Really?
Do you hear the wind?
I'm deaf.
I'll turn up later.
No, I don't.
Okay, well, on my screen, it's playing.
Okay, so if I say something, when you click, then we're talking to the sheep?
Yes.
Are you ready?
I'll be nice.
Okay, I promise.
Here we go.
I won't do the sheep joke.
Sheep lie.
If you want to know the sheep joke, email me with your scream, and I'll tell you the sheep joke about sheep lying.
All right.
This will be just for fun.
Ready?
Yep.
Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Baha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Chew in the fat.
Cheap.
Baha ha.
Chew in the fat.
Cheap.
Alright, let's send this again.
Is that loud?
They turn around or anything or cover their butt or anything?
Well, I haven't sent it. We recorded it. We're about to send it.
What? I thought it was live.
Well, it is live.
All right, here we go. It's sent.
Sending, sending, sending.
Email me a copy of the video.
Baha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Chewit the fat.
Dude!
That's awesome!
That's awesome!
A couple of movies.
move but hey we got a video that yeah you're darn right they did they thought i was coming after
him i wish have done this a long time ago i think now it's a good place to you know we can stop now
i miss hugging my friend oh that's sad he miss hugging his friend oh shut up get over it
some cameras are not working that's my that's my that's my i'm that's my paid psychiatrist
just help right there.
Shut up.
Get over.
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la da da
do they just keep playing that one over and over again?
Yeah because that one is just on the loop.
I feel the East Iceland speaker is not working properly,
which is why we hear that every time I click on it.
Okay.
Yeah.
But if you right now go to the...
Am I in a loop?
You are in a loop.
If you go on the website and go where the sheep's art, which is South Iceland,
and then you click on that camera.
Freaking awesome.
You will hear Jeff Fisher yell at you in your face.
That is the damn just.
What about the first one?
The first one is frozen.
I'm just hugging my friends.
I'll see.
Here, let me help you out with that.
Shut up.
Get over.
Yeah, the first one seems to not be connected.
Oh, come on.
But it's fun.
I'm robbed.
Is there a way to file a complaint?
Of course the sheep one makes it.
Of course the stupid sheep one makes it.
I'm out.
Are you out?
Are we done?
I think we're done.
I think we ended in a high note.
Yeah.
Thanks for listening.
Get out of here.
Hey, don't forget that.
Get rid of that part in there.
Recording.
You may have heard of the sex cult nexium
and the famous actress who went to prison
for her involvement, Alison Mack.
But she's never told her side of the story.
Until now.
People assume that I'm like, this pervert.
My name is Natalie Robamed.
And in my new podcast,
I talked to Allison to try to understand
how she went from TV actor to cult member.
How do you feel about having been involved
in bringing sexual trauma at other people?
I don't even know how to answer that question.
Allison after Nexium from CBC's Uncover
is available now.
on Spotify.
