Chewing the Fat with Jeff Fisher - Ep 54 | Sextuples in 9mins & Whale Eating Disorders

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

Jeffy brings you the news that includes sextuplets in 9minutes and a possible whale eating disorder... and no it's not Jeffy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to it. Ooh, headphones a little loud, even for me. You are deaf. Oh, no question. Remember, I remember a hundred years ago coming into the studio, and you'd come in after the guy that was working in radio, I know he's doing afternoon drive, and he's been doing radio for 100 years.

And he sets his headphones down on the counter, and they just... And they're shaking, they're so loud. You know, audio just screaming. out of them and you think whoa dude deaf or what I'm that guy now

100 years later I'm that guy just that's the way it works welcome to it chewing the fat deaf chewing the fat you can clean your ears I mean I've cleaned it with use wax rx.com

I've cleaned them I've watched when I was a little kid I had tubes put in my ears because I couldn't hear huh ill I wasn't ill I was just I couldn't hear. No, E.U. EW. Oh, and by the way, before you started the show,

is this what you wanted? Yeah, I've heard whatever her name was. Okay, just making sure. Why are we? Yeah, that's what we're doing. You know, there are days. There are days. There are days.

You think to yourself, yep, that's the day. Welcome to it. How many times have I said, welcome to it. I was just going to tell you that. How many times have I said that? I want to get started. Do you, is that like my cue to do something? Yeah, that means that we're recording. We've been recording already. Welcome to it. It's chewing the fat. Didn't we know that. Next? You're worse.

It's yours truly, Jeff Fisher. See, not only your death. You just see now now. Today is Tuesday the 19th of March, 2019. Oh, how I wish it was Wednesday. Wednesday, the Why you ask? Because Dairy Queen is giving away free ice cream cones tomorrow. Oh, so we're going to do it. We're going to be broadcasting live from Dairy Queen. Yes, we are. And it's not Derey Queen anyway. They want to be branded as just DQ.

DQ. Yeah, that's smart. So that's their deal now. They're not Dairy Queen. But Dairy Queens are blotted all over America. Well, Dairy Queen is more of a gay thing now. A what? A gay thing.

It's a gay move. What are you talking about? DQ is like the city. DQ, they're trying to be hip because they're in the city. They don't want to be old school. Dairy Queen is, you know, these... It's a gay move. It's a gay move.

It's a game move. Go to Deep Ellum and ask for a dairy queen. It won't be an ice cream cone. It will not be an ice cream cone. All right, I don't know if I should be sad or happy about this story. Sappy. Happy? Sappy.

I should be sappy. Maybe I should be just sappy. remember on July 4th, this past July 4th, where we had the activist climb the Statue of Liberty and shut the Statue of Liberty down. I mean, shut it down. Nobody could be there. Enjoy it. We had big coverage of it.

And that's part of Independence Day, right? So that was activist. Therese Patricia. Terese Patricia. Oh, cum laude. That does not sound right. Even from a computer voice. O-K-O-U-M-O-U.

Okay. There's something fishy with that computer voice, though. It's not right. Are you doubting the amazing powers of the AI computers? I am doubting the AI computer vocal translations. All you know that you're next. I support anything that the AI computer says. You are next.

I am doubting that, though. Anyway, she was found guilty, okay, of, but five years probation, 200 hours of community service. Now, I guess that seems like a lot, 200 hours of community service, and five years probation, that's quite a bit of time. But I was hoping for, you know, maybe a year in jail. You're in jail, some probation. something else.

What do you mean? No, I don't want her. Doesn't the Statue of Liberty have like a disclaimer? You climb me. Climb on me. And, you know. Yeah, no, it does not. It does not have a disclaimer.

So take that back. But, I mean, we had, we set crews out, rescue crews out. We had to shut that thing down. It seems like it should be more than just five years probation and 200 hours of community service. Now it shouldn't be No, it should not be that. I disagree with that feeling 100%.

But it should be, I mean, 200 hours of community service. You're picking up trash walking around the city of New York, picking up trash. I mean, after about 50 hours of that, though, you've probably had enough of it, right? So after about 50 hours of that, you're thinking, why couldn't somebody just... I could have ended this whole thing. Also, sad news if you're on MySpace. And I know, look, I know a lot of you are still, you know, big MySpace fans. The good old days, though.

Think about it. Were they good old days? Think about it. Social media, MySpace, was it. So they apparently lost 12 years worth of music uploaded to the site. It's only about 50 million songs. I'll worry about it. It's fine.

Quit your whining. What's your whining. Now, apparently it's the result of a server migration. Project. Russians. I think that it's possible that it is just MySpace not wanting to spend the money. Tom? Tom doesn't want to do it?

Yeah, I think Tom doesn't want to do it. Because according to one insider, he's skeptical, the insider because it sounds a lot better when we can't be bothered with the effort and cost of migrating all this 50 million old MP3s. Yeah. Oh, darn. Look. look at that we screwed up oh man we are so sorry darn it did you have a back if you haven't backed up you still got them

you didn't have it backed up sucks to be you so when you're a burglar when you burgle something the object is is to find a particular place to burgle go in take what you want and get out and now you're a burglar and you have burglarized a particular place.

So this man in Phoenix, a 31-year-old, Jerry Christopher Drain, I don't know why we have three names. He's not a serial killer. He's just a burglar. Jerry Drain. Decided that he broke into a place, burgled a burgled a place. And then, you know, he was kind of hungry. So he decided that he started, you know, start cooking up a little tortillas and some soup.

In the kitchen. and the people were home. The one roommate wakes up and says, I'm smelling somebody's cooking something. Is my roommate up? I want some. And I got up and it was Jerry Christopher Drain. It wasn't the roommate.

And so the roommate got up and said, hey. So these both of these girls are like, hey, get out. What are you doing? Get out of here. Fine. We went out on the balcony, started eating his soup.

So he didn't leave. He was hungry. He went out of the balcony. He was hungry. He wanted to finish up eating. Went out of the balcony. And then that's when the police came and arrested him. And apparently he showed signs of being intoxicated.

Get out of here. What? No. I know. So I'm a little concerned as to why the people just didn't call the police to begin with. They just started hollered get out of here instead of just calling the police and go back in the bedroom, right? So he must not have been this evil-looking guy.

Right? He's in the kitchen cooking soup and tortillas. Seriously, if you're going to burgle someplace, cook it someplace else, cook it back at your place. Maybe he was out. Maybe he didn't have it. Maybe he didn't have a place to cook.

So he had to, so my main man who's not a serial killer, Jerry Christopher Drain, but now has three names, had to cook there. Another episode of Crime Done Ron, wrong. So people smuggle stuff into prisons all the time. They smuggle it in body parts. They smuggle it in cakes and pies and envelopes. They've

lived everywhere. Cakes and pies. Cakes and pies and everywhere. That's where you think first. Cakes and pies. Yeah? Can you stop working like? What do you mean? What are you talking about? The stereotype. and cakes and pies. We all know that you love food.

Do you have to play into the stereotype? What's the first thing that comes to your mind? Hoo-ha, you know. And I said that's right, those places too, but cakes and pies and everywhere. And then you go, cake, pipes, envelopes. What is that? Envelopes, because that's where they sneak stuff into prisons. And hoo-haz.

and other orifices that are open out of the body all over plus cakes and pies I could use a me too me too that the DQ ice cream

and Shakeack burger and why you bring up shake shake burger and a pie I could do a shake shack

I could do a shake maybe we do a shake burger and fries and a chickfilet chocolate shake because they're in the same road there but we still get ice cream from DQ. Well, tomorrow is free, though. That's what I'm saying.

Tomorrow is a small ice cream cone for free. So we go, so we go, Shachach. What I was wondering is that maybe tomorrow, if we go in and we say, we want a large ice cream cone, but do they knock off the small price? You know, like, so if the small price is 50 cents and the large is a dollar, do we still get the large for 50 cents? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, DQ, step up.

Yeah, so we'll go to DQ, get dessert, then shake shack, then a shake and then we record? Okay. Okay. We can do that. I'm good with that too. Sounds good to me. All right.

So this lady decided that she had another plan to sneak stuff into prison. She didn't use her hoo-ha. She didn't use a cake. About a pie. She didn't use a pie. Envelope. She didn't use an envelope. What she did use was a t-shirt gun.

Have you ever been to basketball games or, you know, hockey games and they have those little t-shirt guns where they shoot out t-shirts into the crowd so she gets one of those and puts uh drugs cell phones she put uh earbuds phone chargers digital scales tobacco marijuana methamphetamine of course the marijuana and the methamphetamine probably was a problem are you sure so it's just as she's outside the prison pooh she's shooting he's shooting contraband over the fence did she have music playing in the background

nobody will ever notice nobody would ever notice somebody using a t-shirt gun outside of a prison shooting it over a wall right come on she's lucky the guards are like no no no no so yeah she's uh she's now she's now in jail herself

yeah i know no She's introducing contraband into a penal institution. Easy. And drug trafficking. Oh, come on. Stop it. That is not drug trafficking. That is drug shooting.

But it's just not trafficking. No, she's not. That's a stretch. She's trying to get hubby, some meth, and some pot. Yeah, exactly. Is that trafficking? If that's trafficking, then I should be in jail right now. And that's our crime done wrong segment on chewing the fat.

I'll go to the break room. I'm thirsty and I need a Coca-Cola zero-sugar desperately. Well, we've got to try the new. I've got the orange and the cherry in my office, too, of the Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. We've got to try that out. Maybe we'll try that out. Well, tomorrow is, tomorrow's Shake, Shaq and DQ.

We're busy tomorrow. We're busy. So maybe we do it Thursday or Friday. We're going to try those. But today is just a regular Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. I swear to you, that's so good. Congratulations to James Corden. He's going to host the 2019 Tony Awards.

I guess he wasn't good enough for the Oscars. For the Oscars. Too bad, James. You get stuck with the Tony's, the one that nobody cares about. I mean, James is a big entertainer and a singer and everything, and he's done voice work and he's got his night show. But really, he should have been the Oscars, right? I mean, that's kind of a diss on him, just doing the Tonies.

Hey, we'll let him do the Tonys. No? Well, thank you. The Bird Box author. Remember we had Birdbox from Netflix is caving in to the Canadian train wreck. They're taking it out of the footage of the actual

the Birdbox show. But the author says his sequel, Mallory, will shed new light on the monsters. So he's already hawking the sequel. His opinion on Netflix movie.

I don't know if Netflix, it doesn't say here whether Netflix is already paid for the rights and I don't think they have this is just his way of saying hey I'm writing a sequel Netflix I could use some more money want to pay me for it please good luck hope you do well also breaking news today that the National Inquirer apparently paid 200,000 to Jeff Bezos's mistress's brother for the text for the sex text so the brother of the girlfriend is the one that's in trouble. And then there's also intrigue in that because

Pecker didn't want to do it because he was worried about Bezos suing him and coming after him. So they're in the vault and there was some other stuff coming out. So it'll be fascinating to see, you know, if the brother got $200 grand, he's out, man. There's no talking to the girlfriend. I'm telling you I don't think the

divorce is happening. You heard that first on this podcast, but I'm telling you that they're not getting divorced now. Getting back together. This whole thing is a sham. So it's over. It's done. It's not really a sham. They were apart and they're not happy with each other really struggling with each other. But the divorce, no way. Neither one of them wants to give up the power or the money. So they'll just live separately and every once in a while they'll show up at some event together and look happy and wave at the crowd. And it'll be all over the

tabloids for the next week. Jeff and the wife together. and then a week from there Jeff will be in D.C. with a new girlfriend. Also, you know, the roundabouts. We've talked about them a couple of times. Maybe we talked about them on Pat's show. I get confused because I don't know that I talked about them here, but the roads that have the roundabouts in them, and I understand why they put them in.

I just don't like them. You have like three in your name. I got way too many. Way too many. And as long as there's not a lot of traffic, it's easy flowing. But a lot of people don't know how to drive the roundabout. And so it...

It could be confusing. It could be confusing. What is your mic on? It could be confusing. You come up. When there's no traffic, you go. If the next car is coming around, you wait. It's not difficult. What's confusing about that?

There's two lanes. Which one do I take? Okay. If you have to go straight, rate, you can use either lane. If you have to make a left, you stay, you take the inside lane. You stay and that's the lane you pull into when you're coming up to the roundabout. You should already know that if you're coming up on the roundabout.

What you're saying is someone that doesn't know the area coming up on the outside lane. Well, then you can still do it, but you just have to put your blink around and, you know, go around slowly. But you still get into traffic. You don't just sit there and wait and hold up traffic behind you thinking, I don't know. It's confusing. I don't know what to do. I'll just sit here and put traffic behind me.

No. Go! So I read a story about how they're now thinking that public art in the center of the roundabout helps in the roundabout world. And I'm thinking that can't be. That is just an artist trying to sell his stuff. Because I don't want art in the middle of that roundabout. I who looks at that when you're going in the roundabout if you're if you're confused about when to go think about how confused you are when you're sitting there it's time to go and you're looking at the art piece oh I'll just go around in the circle a couple of times and look at the piece of art in the middle of the roundabout no so you're telling me if an artist says I'm inspired by your show Jeffie and I want to do an art that reflects chewing the fat with Jeff Fisher

Podcasts, and I'll put that right in the middle of the roundabout. You're going to say no? No, I'm going to say that's an excellent idea. And I think you're right, I'll assist in traffic flow. Stupid. You know, you don't have any children yet, Chris Cruz. I do. You have one son from a previous marriage, right?

Just one kid. Your first wife just had one kid. Nothing. So this Texas woman just gave birth to sex tuplets. That's six. Who knows what sex tuplets are? You do? Good boy.

Good little boy. Well, the audience don't know now is that I'm flicking you off. So hard right now. So she had six kids in nine minutes. That's a power nine minutes right there, baby. It's a power nine minutes. she had two sets of twin boys and one set of twin girls in nine minutes I was pumping out that's doing some distance two sets and two sets that's eight no no

no she had two sets of twin boys so that's four and one set of twin girls oh and that's six oh yeah that's six yeah I think you said two and two I may have it's still sex tuplets the names congratulations yeah baby one baby two maybe three maybe four baby five baby six well if we stick with the you know bird box kind of thing is boy girl all right yeah uh so the girls zena and ziriel but you do know the names i was just looking down here with the story they do have the girls i didn't see the boys name maybe read the boys were just the boys were named it so we're i mean she did but attention she named the girl she gave up a name

for the other four. We're at Zee. She thinks she was going to have 26 kids. Zena and Zerio. They're my twin girls. The boys, they don't have the boys name. The odds of giving birth to sex tuplets.

One in 4.7 billion. She should play the lotto for the rest of her life. Wow. No kidding. Good freaking luck. I remember back in the day, didn't like pamper or like did that Papper companies will, like, sponsor this.

Oh, yeah, they should help them out. I hope they will. They should. Yes, they should. Because I remember. Gerber and Pampers, they should all help this family because they're going to be struggling. I mean, that's... Six and one?

I know, right? That's like a lot. Imagine breastfeeding. Can we quote you on that? That's like a lot. Yes, you could quote me and that, Jeffrey. I mean, that's like a lot. Yeah, that's doing.

some distance on breastfeed. I don't know. So on breastfeed, do you bring those wet nurses? In my house, yeah, of course you do. Of course you do. I would guess in my house

the vote would be no to that. I would say yes. I'm trying to help with you out, baby. Because the math doesn't make sense here. I'm helping you out. You know, six babies, two bottles, that's,

she's pumping. No, she's not enough. That's what I'm saying. That's not enough. You just could rotate them. Oh, just rotate. Because the human, the body will create what you need. Yes, yes, yes.

So you're absolutely right. So you just rotate them. So, like, how many, like five minutes per and you just go? You just kind of go until, yeah, I mean, you got to give them until they're full, but you got to give them also a time where you're done. So does the last kid is like, now you're done. Yeah, so the last kid does that one go like, I didn't get enough? Yeah, the last one's done.

I'm out, have a nice day. We're done. But I'm hungry. Tough. Tough. Here's some similac with iron. Live with that. You're not getting any breast milk.

Good luck in Florida. I hope that it pays off. But South Florida lawmakers want to crack down on people who lie. And I can't believe that people actually would lie about this, but people who lie about needing an emotional support animal. I can't believe people would lie about this.

I know. Oh, no. But apparently animals previously listed as emotional support animals include a kangaroo, a pig, a turkey. A miniature goat, a miniature horse, monkey. And we've had the list. Alligator.

We've had turkeys. We've had squirrels. We've had a lot. So they realize, of course, and this is the disclaimer you have to put in the story. We know that some people genuinely need emotional support animals. Do you? But others are abusing the system by going online to get their pet declared an emotional support animal by a doctor they've never seen in person. Oh, so what?

People are lying? To get some benefits? So the heated debate between condominium communities and pet owners citing federal fair housing laws to gain special accommodations. I love it. I can move into my condo and I've got a pet kangaroo. So you've got to let me in. And I get that particular condo in the corner too because that's the only one that's

suitable for me and the kangaroo. So they plan to address these issues of the new bill to tighten this. good luck in Florida, have fun. Good luck, God bless. But they need to start doing that all over. Right? I mean, there's no question. Apparently, you know how we love orangutangs

here on chewing the fat. I mean, we've got, in fact, we've spoken to orangutans before. I can't tell you how many times that we've touched base. I mean, I love them. So in Indonesia, a young baby was blinded a baby orangutan

not a baby human but a baby a baby a rangatine was blinded after being shot at least 74 times with an air gun wow this air gun you say that but that's exactly

what people were thinking and then now this orangutan this poor little baby orangutan is going to be blind because of oh it's just an air gun 74 times just like I said yesterday it's just an egg

it's just an air gun Air gun pellets. You'll be fine. Not on this kid. The monkey's blind. But you'll be fine. 99% chance you'll be fine. I hope you're right.

It doesn't feel like that's going to happen to this orangutan. But I sure hope you're right, my friend. Tell you that. It's just an air gun. This story is fascinating to me about what was inside the dead whale. We've had this mix of rounds ever so often. I'm not sure there's no date on this. It was on my Twitter feed from the, you know, the TikTok on your Twitter feed and they go crazy about this.

But they were. So it could be the same whale? It could be the same whale. But it talks about this dead whale in the Philippines having 88 pounds of plastic in its stomach. It shows footage. It shows footage of the people going through the whale goo. That is not a job I want. But isn't that blubber

like really expensive? Whatever. Isn't that like you sell it? Good luck, God bless. It's all yours. So 88 pounds of a plastic in the stomach including 16 rice sacks, four banana plantation style bags and multiple shopping bags.

Oh, blame the Puerto Ricans. Now, I would say, well, I mean, that's an easy thing to do. As a side. Did it go through Puerto Rico? But I would say that really, you know, we're concerned about this. Right. You said the perfect thing. Oh, it must have gone through the trash island.

No. There is no such thing. There is a trash island as big as Texas. No, there's no such thing. Yeah, where? Somewhere in the ocean. Right there. That's right over there.

Yeah. I would say, my thought on this is that the whale has some sort of eating disorder. Just eat anything that they see? Yeah, I mean, you know, people eat stuff. People eat plastic. Are they gnaw on... Yeah, remember those addictions? Right.

Yeah, toilet paper, gasoline. Right? Yeah, yeah. I've seen those documentaries. Thank you. And people gnaw on walls and all kinds of stuff. Hot balls, cotton. Hair.

Yeah. Ooh, I didn't like that one. Oh, no, hair. Yeah. But I mean, you have, you got the anorexia nervosa, right? You got that. You've got bulimia nervosa. You've got binge eating.

Oh, I do that every day. You binge eat? Oh, yeah. With a good Netflix, I call it Netflix and binge eating. So you're just binge watching and binge eating. Yeah, yeah. Do you, are you bulimic? Maybe.

So you get rid of it? Yeah, maybe. Really? The nasty one to me is the last two that I have to mention here for the eating disorder. What are they? One is the rumination disorder. And that is. Regurgitating the food after eating.

So as soon as you eat it, you... Regurgitate it and then you just like you eat it again. What's the point of that? He's still coming inside your body. So it's re-chewed and re-spalowed. Then you have the pica. That's what the whale had. P-I-C-A, yeah.

Because they just eat non-food items. Whale was just eating plastic bags, find it plastic to eat. I mean, we need to help the whales is what we need to do. If they're out in the ocean having eating disorders, we need to help them.

We did, just like we need to help the polar bears. Now we need to add whales on that list. Thank you. And help them out a little bit. I mean, if they're having, if they're struggling with their eating disorder, we should help them.

We're humans. We're here for them. Is our number they call, Ivan? Yes. It's called 1-800 rumination disorder. Oh, no, that's not what the whale had, though. We don't know that. The whale could have had that.

But for sure, the whale had peek-up. I mean, they're just eating everything. Eating everything that non-food items. Which one do you have? Well, I at one time really struggled with anorexia, but I overcame it. Good. Good. Good for you.

Look at this. Tell me I haven't overcome. You have overcome. Anorexia. Okay. I beat anorexia. In fact, I should be a spokesman for beating anorexia. There's no question.

It's our foundation that I can donate? Yes, there is. There is. It's called the Jeff Fisher Foundation. And the way to do it is first you subscribe to chewing the fat. What? I know. It's a little known fact, but you subscribe to chewing the fat podcast.

And then after a while, like a week, then you send me money. But you've got to subscribe first. Then you can send me money to the foundation to help the whales and me. The whales and you? And me and the people suffering from anorexia. You're helping everyone. That's a good cost. That's the Jeff Fisher Foundation.

Yeah. Look, we're here to help. That's what we care for. So, subscribe to the podcast, chewing the fat, available wherever free podcasts are sold. If you're on, then you can rate and review with the iTunes. If you want to do that. If you're involved in the iTunes, you want to rate and review it. Because we want other people to know about the podcast.

So just rate it 20 stars, review it best podcast ever, and you're good to go. Thank you very much. So yesterday, it was known that, you know, Alice Stucke is beating you on reviews. You're on the second spot. Yeah, and I already said, I already said that a statue must come down. That statue's got to come down. Yes, it's not like her for this. So we got, we got some new, you know, we got about 15 new reviews.

We don't need numbers. We don't need numbers. You know, and I just want to read a couple of them. Maybe three. I want to read three. I want to read three. First one is Red Man 0686. Best podcast ever.

There's another Red Man? There is. There's 685 of them. Oh. Yeah. He goes, Best Podcasts ever. Been listening to Jeffy since it was Jeff Fisher's show on Saturday mornings.

I think of you. I love the humor between Chris and Jeffie. They're a great team. The show has a great raw interviews too. Oh, I like that too. Jeffie is not afraid to ask the hard questions and talk about the topics that other. make others uncomfortable. Thank you.

I will read it 20 stars as for beginning by Jeffrey. By the way, this is the best podcast ever. I love this guy. Red man, you should be just the only red man out there. I think so. There shouldn't be $6.885. More than you. My coin face says,

I need 90 minutes. I need it. Jeffie, you always kept the fat pile so large and fresh. There have always been more than you. and senior cruise. Senior Cruz. He's talking about senior. He's trying to be cool with you,

you know, you island people. Oh, oh, thank you. Can get to in under one hour. Maybe it's time to expand the provivial west line

and go to a 90-minute show. I give and I give and I give. 20 stars from Denver, Colorado. Thank you, but, I mean, how much 90?

I know. That's a long time. And finally, Cajing conservative says Mofongo Mania. Whoa. back the dude calls me that again we're going to report him to wherever he needs to be reported to um he goes i just got back from puerto rico now i know why chris cruz is the man jeff and chris are like mofungo and

pork belly okay by themselves put incredible together buffungo and pork bellies is that a is that a that's a porto rick dish oh yes it is fungos and pork bellies do you want me to make you some is that no thank you But is that like... Some plantain balls? Yeah, yeah, the plantain stuff. Yeah. My mother-in-law used to make the fried plantains up and stuff. Oh, man, do I just...

You know what? I've had my fill of it. I can make you some. I know you can thank you. And I'm pretty good at it, too. No, I believe it. They're probably the best ever. It's a nice pork belly.

Oh, man. Sounds so good, doesn't it? Yeah. I can make you some. Yeah. Maybe later. Okay. So subscribe.

I do not want any mafungo. No, I do not want any mafungo. I don't want any pork belly. I don't want to fry it in any kind of Puerto Rican juice or whatever they fry it in. I don't want none of it. It's just oil. Whatever. It's that juice.

Yeah, it's the same thing. No, it's not. It's oil. It's vegetable oil. Whatever. You call it whatever you want. What I'm telling you is some kind of... What do you call vegetable oil?

Uh, Puerto Rico juice.